Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark

Episode: Your Husband Or Son Is Watching Porn — Now What?
Guest: EZ Zwane
Date: January 23, 2026
Host: Alex Clark (Turning Point USA)

Episode Overview

In this candid and confronting episode, Alex Clark and guest EZ Zwane—a pastor, speaker, and author—address the deeply uncomfortable but urgent reality of pornography's effect on children, marriages, and the broader culture. Focusing on practical strategies, spiritual perspectives, and parental responsibility, they unpack why porn has become a public health crisis, how it hijacks the brain and intimacy, and what families, spouses, and individuals can do to fight back.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Scope of the Pornography Crisis

• The Stats & Early Exposure

  • 94% of 11-year-olds have seen porn ([00:00], [02:20]).
  • Early exposure leads to neuroplastic changes, depression, isolation, and poor decision-making.
  • “Pornography wreaks havoc on the brain. It gets them hooked from very early age and leads to all sorts of destructive behaviors.” – EZ Zwane ([02:20])

• Porn Industry Scale

  • Industry exceeds the revenue of Netflix, Disney, and the NFL combined ([01:01], [06:38]).
  • Aggressive targeting of children and married men through pervasive media and advertising.

• Neuroscience & Mental Health

  • Massive dopamine release from porn rewires pleasure centers, leading to dissatisfaction with real intimacy ([05:51], [13:15]).
  • Direct link to sexual dysfunction in young men and increased need for more extreme content.
  • “People create these unrealistic expectations. They’re removed from real life when they’re looking at porn, and so…when they’re thrust back into real life, it just doesn’t measure up.” — EZ Zwane ([13:15])

Addressing Addiction and Value Systems

• Is it an addiction?

  • Denial among men about porn addiction is common, but Zwane insists it has classic addictive features ([03:25]).
  • “Anything that you give yourself over to for hours…is going to get a hold on you. But pornography, because it’s related to the human function of sexuality, it takes you in an even deeper way.” — EZ Zwane ([03:38])
  • Illustrates with example: most men could stop if massively incentivized—implying it’s about values and priorities, not just impulse ([04:32]).

• Value Impacts Behavior

  • The value system needs recalibration: “Value impacts behavior. What we value will impact how we behave.” ([04:32])
  • Penny vs. $100 bill analogy for changing how we perceive the importance of purity and relationships.

Cultural and Marital Impacts

• Dating & Marriage Considerations

  • Essential for women to ask potential partners directly about porn use ([08:28], [09:03]).
  • “The question isn’t anymore, do you look at pornography? The question is, when was the last time?” — EZ Zwane ([08:35])
  • Porn use doesn’t dissipate with marriage—often, it intensifies, undermining intimacy and trust.

• Marriage Destruction

  • Many men enter marriage hiding or minimizing their struggle, and marriages are “destroyed because of it.” ([10:15])
  • Direct advice for wives: Do not tolerate porn use—address it head-on, involve others if needed. “You’re not supposed to put up with it at all.” — EZ Zwane ([20:14])

Parental Guidance & Prevention

• Talking to Kids

  • Begin age-appropriate conversations early, with “pre-talks” before the main discussion ([27:45]).
  • “A child’s mind is like a warehouse full of empty shelves. Whoever gets there first and stocks those shelves is going to make it harder for the next person to come unstock and restock them.” — EZ Zwane ([17:08], [54:13])
  • Proactive parental involvement: Family devotions, open conversation, parental control, public computer use ([26:02], [54:27]).

• Mistakes Parents Make

  • Failing to convey how tempting sexual sin is and the rationalizations that accompany it ([52:13]).
  • Encourage vigilance: “What lioness would give birth to her cubs in a hyena’s den?...But you let them understand their tendency to sin, the deceptiveness of sin, and the wisdom of being on your guard.” — EZ Zwane ([52:24])

Practical Tools, Spiritual Approaches, and the "Nope Principle"

• Spiritual Framing

  • Portrays sexual sin as both personal bondage and a spiritual battle.
  • “There is a bondage breaker whose name is Jesus Christ, who can transform my life…” — EZ Zwane ([35:56])
  • Redefines “addiction” as “bondage” to emphasize personal responsibility and hope for liberation.

• The “Nope Principle” ([37:00])

  • Not One Peak Even: A commitment to avoid even a single lustful look, rooted in what and whom one loves most.
  • “I love my Lord, my lady, my lineage, His lambs, the lost — Nope, not one peak even.”
  • Applies to all areas of self-control, from sexual purity to food and gambling ([42:55]).

• Six C’s to Succeed

  • A “battle plan” for purity—creation, cognition, coition, etc.—with memorable, biblically-rooted statements to redirect thought during moments of temptation ([40:11], [41:00]).

• Accountability & Isolation

  • Isolation “is deadly,” leading men to relapse and lose perspective.
  • Real accountability involves trust, time, transparency, and teachability ([45:15]).
  • “You do end up in the echo chamber…You don’t have anyone who holds you accountable, asks you the hard questions, prays for you, encourages you.” — EZ Zwane ([45:15])

Motivation, Shame, and the Church’s Role

• Empowering vs. Shaming

  • Shame is “appropriate” if it leads to repentance and freedom ([57:38]).
  • True motivation comes from understanding sexual sin as “sin against the cross”—motivated by Christ’s sacrifice ([50:32]).
  • “When we reconnect with the value of the cross and that our sin cost Christ his life… it becomes sobering.” — EZ Zwane ([50:32])

• Church’s Responsibility

  • The church must stop pretending secrecy is the answer; address sexual sin openly but gracefully ([59:40]).
  • Tailored resources and group discussions using works like "Fight Like a Man" help break the silence ([60:56]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Value:
  “Value impacts behavior. What we value will impact how we behave.” — EZ Zwane ([04:32])

• On Being Proactive Parents:
  “Your kids need to be raised by design, not by default.” — EZ Zwane ([54:27])

• On the Real Threat:
  “We are at war… Men and kids today have this peacetime mentality when we’re smack dab in the middle of war and nothing’s being done.” — EZ Zwane ([06:49])

• On Addressing Men’s Excuses:
  “It’s not that they can’t, it’s that they won’t. And something needs to radically change.” — EZ Zwane ([11:22])

• On Spiritual Warfare:
  “If you’re not worshiping the true God, you’re going to find another idol. And for many people, it’s the idol of pornography and sexual sin.” — EZ Zwane ([36:22])

• On Empathy:
  “Empathy is a must and should be natural. …Maybe that has been me.” — EZ Zwane ([33:46])

• On the Power of the Cross:
  “We’re doing it, in fact, in the shadow of the cross. We’re sitting at the foot of the cross indulging in that sexual sin, and in essence saying what Jesus did meant nothing to me.” — EZ Zwane ([50:32])

• On Family Vision:
  “To gladly and passionately glorify God in every thought, affection, word, and deed, while constantly enjoying him as our greatest pleasure and most precious treasure.” — EZ Zwane ([56:39])

Timestamps for Key Topics

• Effect on Children’s Brains: [00:00], [02:20]
• Addiction, Value, & Accountability: [03:38], [04:32], [45:15]
• Effects on Sexual Health / Marriage: [05:51], [13:15], [10:15]
• Industry Scale / Cultural Penetration: [06:38]
• Dating & Communication Advice: [08:28], [09:03], [10:53]
• Proactive Parenting & Prevention: [25:32], [26:02], [27:45], [54:13]
• Nope Principle Explained: [37:00]
• Shame, Repentance, Empowerment: [57:38]
• Church’s Role & Solutions: [59:40]
• Book / Resources: [60:56]

Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is candid, empathetic, and urgent, blending practical advice with deep conviction. Both host and guest stress openness, accountability, and taking an active rather than passive stance—whether as parents, spouses, individuals, or church communities.

Final Remedy

• EZ Zwane’s remedy for culture:
  “It would be the emphasis on who made you, why he made you and why he put you here. When all those questions are answered, you'll find that you'll have the remedy to every area of life.” ([62:39])

For further resources:

• Book: "Fight Like a Man" by EZ Zwane (Amazon)
• Social: @emilzwain / “Living Waters”

This summary skips all ad reads and non-content segments to capture the most relevant, actionable material and timeless takeaways from the heart of the discussion.