Podcast
Dear Parents with Phil Boucher, M.D.
Hosted by Phil Boucher, M.D. · EN
Dear Parents is a podcast for parents who want calm, confident guidance grounded in science—not trends, fear, or perfection. Hosted by pediatrician and parent Dr. Phil Boucher, each episode offers practical, real-world insight to help you navigate discipline, behavior, screens, ADHD, and everyday parenting challenges with clarity and confidence.
dearparents.substack.com
dearparents.substack.com
16episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Authoritative vs. Permissive Parenting with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson
Apr 1500:57:03Tap to summarizeDr. Phil Boucher sits down with bestselling author and child development expert Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (The Whole-Brain Child, No Drama Discipline, The Way of Play) to untangle the most common parenting style confusion out there: gentle parenting vs. authoritative parenting, and why so many parents accidentally land in permissive territory.They dig into the 60-year-old research behind structure and nurture as two separate dimensions — not opposites — and why kids actually feel safer when grownups are clearly in charge. Plus, practical examples for holding a limit while staying connected, and how playfulness can do the heavy lifting when your bandwidth is low.Resources mentioned:* myskylight.com — use code DRBOUCHER at checkout for 15% off* dearparents.substack.com — questions, comments, and more This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe
Transcribe →
AMA: Visitors & Newborns
Mar 3100:07:53Tap to summarizeGet your questions asked and answered at Dear Parents SubstackIn this episode, Dr. Phil Boucher answers a listener question about newborn visitors—when to allow them, what rules to set, and how to balance safety with letting loved ones meet your baby. He covers practical, real-world guidance to reduce risk without isolating yourself.Newborn Visitors: Start with One RuleIf you’re sick, don’t visit the baby. Even mild symptoms (runny nose, cough, recent exposure) can lead to serious illness in a newborn.Why Fevers Matter in the First MonthA fever in a baby under 28 days isn’t just a quick illness—it typically means an ER visit, bloodwork, a spinal tap, and hospital observation. Avoiding infections early on is critical.Who Gets to Visit First?Prioritize close family over large groups. The more people (especially kids), the higher the chance of exposure to illness. You don’t need total isolation—but you do need intention.Simple Rules That Make a Big Difference* Wash hands before holding baby* No kissing the baby (especially due to cold sore/herpes risk)* Delay visits if recently sick or exposedThese small boundaries significantly reduce risk.When to Relax the RulesAfter the first month, and especially after 2-month vaccines, you can begin opening things up more. Continue basic hygiene, but life can feel more normal again.Special Situations: Measles & RSV* Measles: Primarily spreads among unvaccinated individuals. Vaccinated adults are low risk, but avoid exposing newborns to unvaccinated or recently exposed individuals.* RSV: Still a major cause of hospitalization in infants. If your baby is born during RSV season, consider monoclonal antibody protection to reduce risk.Timestamps00:00 Listener Q: When Can Visitors Meet a Newborn?01:00 The #1 Rule: If You’re Sick, Stay Away02:00 Why Newborn Fevers Mean Hospitalization03:00 Prioritizing Visitors: Close Family First03:30 No Kissing Rule (and Why It Matters)04:00 When It’s Safe to Open Things Up04:30 Measles Outbreaks: What Parents Should Know05:30 RSV Protection: Antibodies vs Vaccines06:45 Recap: Safe, Practical Boundaries for VisitorsQuestions? Submit at dearparents.substack.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe
Transcribe →
Sensory Processing, Meltdowns, and Better Transitions with Dr. Kristen Pfeil
Mar 2700:45:37Tap to summarizeGet your questions asked and answered at Dear Parents SubstackIn this episode, Dr. Phil Boucher is joined by pediatric occupational therapist Dr. Kristen Pfeil, OTD, OTR/L to unpack what’s really going on beneath common childhood “behaviors.” They discuss how sensory processing shapes regulation, why some kids seem constantly overwhelmed or “too much,” and what parents can do to better support their child (and themselves).Sensory Processing 101: Kids don’t just have five senses, they have eight. In addition to sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell, there are internal systems like movement (vestibular), body awareness (proprioception), and interoception (internal body signals like hunger or anxiety). When these systems are out of sync, it can look like “behavior” but it’s often a nervous system trying to cope.Sensory Seeking vs. Sensitive Kids: Some children crave more input (movement, touch, chewing), while others get overwhelmed quickly (noise, crowds, textures). Most kids are a mix and mismatches between a child’s needs and their environment (or even their parent’s sensory style) can lead to frustration and disconnection.Meltdowns Aren’t Just Behavior: Many “problem behaviors” are actually signs of dysregulation. A loud classroom, too much sitting, or unexpected transitions can overload a child’s nervous system, leading to hitting, yelling, or shutting down. The key is looking at what happened before the behavior.Helping Kids Regulate: Regulation looks like calm, connection, and a body that feels “just right.” Supporting this might mean movement breaks, deep pressure (“heavy work”), or simply giving a child space to reset. Just as important: parents staying regulated themselves and practicing co-regulation.Transitions Without Meltdowns: Moving from preferred to non-preferred activities is hard, especially under age five. Tools like visual timers, giving limited choices (“10 or 15 seconds?”), and setting expectations ahead of time can dramatically reduce conflict.Public Meltdowns & Boundaries: When things fall apart in public, consistency matters more than convenience. Holding boundaries (even when it’s uncomfortable) helps kids feel safe and learn expectations. Gentle parenting still includes clear limits, and those boundaries are what create security and freedom.Timestamps00:01 What Sensory Processing Really Means (Beyond the “5 Senses”)03:00 The 3 Hidden Senses: Movement, Body Awareness, Interoception06:00 Sensory Seeking vs. Sensory Sensitive Kids10:00 “Behavior” vs. Nervous System Overload14:00 Why Kids Get Kicked Out of Daycare (and What’s Underneath It)17:00 How OT Helps: Heavy Work, Awareness, and Regulation23:30 What a Regulated vs. Dysregulated Child Looks Like26:00 What to Do in the Middle of a Meltdown30:00 Transitions: Timers, Choices, and Reducing Power Struggles33:30 Public Meltdowns: What Actually Works38:00 Boundaries, Gentle Parenting, and Why Kids Need Limits42:00 When to Consider Occupational TherapyResources & LinksConnect Pediatric Therapy → connectpediatrictherapy.comBook: The Out-of-Sync Child by Carol KranowitzSponsor: Skylight Calendar — Use code DRBOUCHER for 15% offQuestions? Submit at dearparents.substack.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe
Transcribe →
Zone of Proximal Development, Guilt-Free Formula Feeding, and Diet Supports for Inattentive 6-Year-Olds
Mar 600:51:45Tap to summarizeGet your questions asked and answered at Dear Parents SubstackIn this episode, Dr. Phil Boucher discusses three key topics for parents:Protein for Kids: Why protein (especially at breakfast and after school) supports steady blood sugar and brain neurotransmitters (dopamine/serotonin). Focus on whole foods like eggs, peanut butter, and Greek yogurt instead of protein powders.Protecting Your Attention: Practical boundaries for a high-stimulus world, including using phone grayscale, hard lockouts, and the text-based Screen Reset program. Dr. Boucher also mentions his ADHD Profile and Compass to track related domains.Sleep Help for a Nearly 3-Year-Old: Answers a parent’s question about a neurodivergent toddler who struggles with independent sleep. Recommendations include practicing “bedtime” outside of bedtime, a “camping” approach of gradually increasing distance, using a baby gate as a ‘big crib’ boundary, and checking for biological factors like low iron/ferritin and magnesium.Timestamps01:06 Protein 101 for Kids: Why Breakfast Protein Matters02:07 Blood Sugar Swings: How Sugary Breakfasts Hijack Focus04:24 Protein & the Brain: Dopamine, Serotonin, and Better Regulation08:35 Real-Life High-Protein Breakfast Ideas Kids Will Actually Eat10:19 The After-School Protein Reset: Prevent Hangry Evenings14:02 Distraction in a Scroll World: Reclaiming Your Attention19:31 Practical Boundaries: Grayscale + Social Media Lockouts25:23 Parent Question: 2–3 Year Old Won’t Sleep Independently28:08 “Camping” Strategy: Practice Bedtime Outside Bedtime31:18 Check the Biology: Overtired, Iron/Ferritin, Magnesium34:42 Step-by-Step Plan: Big-Crib Room Setup, Gates, and Gradual FadeResource Link:Learn more about the ADHD Compass tool: ADHD Compass This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe
Transcribe →
Protein for Kids, Protecting Your Attention, and Sleep Help for a Nearly 3-Year-Old
Feb 2300:40:00Tap to summarizeGet your questions asked and answered at Dear Parents SubstackIn this episode, Dr. Phil Boucher discusses three key topics for parents:Protein for Kids: Why protein (especially at breakfast and after school) supports steady blood sugar and brain neurotransmitters (dopamine/serotonin). Focus on whole foods like eggs, peanut butter, and Greek yogurt instead of protein powders.Protecting Your Attention: Practical boundaries for a high-stimulus world, including using phone grayscale, hard lockouts, and the text-based Screen Reset program. Dr. Boucher also mentions his ADHD Profile and Compass to track related domains.Sleep Help for a Nearly 3-Year-Old: Answers a parent’s question about a neurodivergent toddler who struggles with independent sleep. Recommendations include practicing “bedtime” outside of bedtime, a “camping” approach of gradually increasing distance, using a baby gate as a ‘big crib’ boundary, and checking for biological factors like low iron/ferritin and magnesium.Timestamps01:06 Protein 101 for Kids: Why Breakfast Protein Matters02:07 Blood Sugar Swings: How Sugary Breakfasts Hijack Focus04:24 Protein & the Brain: Dopamine, Serotonin, and Better Regulation08:35 Real-Life High-Protein Breakfast Ideas Kids Will Actually Eat10:19 The After-School Protein Reset: Prevent Hangry Evenings14:02 Distraction in a Scroll World: Reclaiming Your Attention19:31 Practical Boundaries: Grayscale + Social Media Lockouts25:23 Parent Question: 2–3 Year Old Won’t Sleep Independently28:08 “Camping” Strategy: Practice Bedtime Outside Bedtime31:18 Check the Biology: Overtired, Iron/Ferritin, Magnesium34:42 Step-by-Step Plan: Big-Crib Room Setup, Gates, and Gradual FadeResource Link:Learn more about the ADHD Compass tool: ADHD Compass This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe
Transcribe →
Solid Foods, Rage Responses, and the New Vaccine "Schedule"
Jan 2300:47:47Tap to summarizeWelcome to the very first episode of the Dear Parents podcast! In this episode, Dr. Boucher goes beyond the "nuggets" of social media to provide deep context on the topics that matter most to parents.We explore the transition to solid foods without the stress of rigid rules, how to handle big emotions in toddlers and elementary-aged kids using a helpful framework, and the current landscape of pediatric vaccines.In This Episode:1. Starting Solid Foods: An Evolutionary ApproachStarting solids should be fun, not a chore. Dr. Boucher breaks down why many "rules" are actually part of the "anxiety industry" and how to follow your baby’s lead.Readiness Cues: Look for the ability to sit up (with some support), interest in your food, a diminished tongue thrust reflex, and bringing objects to the mouth.Purees vs. Baby-Led Weaning: It’s a false dichotomy; most parents do a mix of both.Early Allergen Introduction: Early and frequent introduction of peanuts and eggs (around 6 months) can significantly reduce the risk of developing allergies.The "No" List: Avoid honey for babies under 12 months (due to botulism risk) and obvious choking hazards.Gagging vs. Choking: Gagging is loud and common; choking is silent and requires immediate action.2. Responses to Rage: The LEAP FrameworkWhen a child is dysregulated, they aren't being defiant—they are developing. You cannot regulate a child if you are also dysregulated. Dr. Boucher introduces the LEAP acronym to help parents stay calm and effective:L – Listen: Observe body language and consider the context (hunger, tiredness, screen time).E – Empathize: Validate their feelings so they feel understood, even if you don't agree with the behavior.A – Acknowledge the Problem: Frame the issue as a shared problem to solve rather than the child being "the problem".P – Propose a Solution: Offer a bridge forward (e.g., "Do you want to listen to the song in the car?").3. The New Vaccine LandscapeDr. Boucher addresses the confusion surrounding new January recommendations and risk-based strategies.Risk-Based vs. Universal: Why "risk-based" recommendations for viruses like RSV and Rotavirus are difficult, as many hospitalized children were previously healthy.Shared Decision-Making: Dr. Boucher advocates for a practice policy that focuses on trust and education rather than rigid requirements.Insurance & Availability: Why vaccine access is likely to remain unchanged despite ideological shifts.Links and Resources:Dear Parents Substack: dearparents.substack.com – The best place to submit your questions for future episodes.Moving Through Meltdowns Workshop: https://learn.pbmd.co/meltdownworkshop - A deep dive into handling difficult moments and transitions.ADHD Profile and Compass: https://drphilboucher.com/adhdcompass - An online assessment to understand your child's ADHD across four key domains: hyperactivity, inattention, emotional regulation, and executive functioning. Skylight Calendar: myskylight.com - Use code DRBOUCHER for 15% off at checkout to help offload your "mental load" and keep the family organized. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearparents.substack.com/subscribe
Transcribe →