Discussing No Holes Barred w/ Passport Cutty

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Decisions, Decisions" Episode – Discussing No Hold Bar with Passport Cuddy

Introduction

In this engaging episode of Decisions, Decisions, hosted by Mandii B and WeezyWTF, the dynamic duo welcomes author and life coach Passport Cuddy as their special guest. The conversation centers around their collaboratively authored book, No Hold Bar, a dual manifesto exploring the intricacies of non-traditional relationships, sexuality, and personal empowerment.

Overview of No Hold Bar

No Hold Bar is celebrated as a multifaceted exploration combining elements of memoir, self-help, and erotic narrative. Passport Cuddy commends the book for its layered approach, describing it as "very sexy but smart, and very wild but wise" (03:00). The authors aimed to dismantle traditional patriarchal norms through candid discussions on dating, sex, and love, providing readers with both relatable stories and educational insights.

Themes Explored in the Book

The book delves into several profound themes, including:

• Sexuality and Identity: Cuddy highlights the fluidity of sexual identities, discussing terms like "brosexual" and "agrosexual." She remarks, “There’s been ebbs and flows of what I’ve been into, and it’s changed” (03:40), emphasizing the evolving nature of personal sexual identity.

• Jealousy and Shame: The authors tackle often-taboo emotions such as jealousy and shame in relationships. They discuss the importance of acknowledging these feelings to foster personal growth and healthier relationships. Weezy shares her struggle with jealousy, stating, “Sometimes I get scared to tell you if I’m jealous because I don’t want you to say, this isn’t for us” (11:56).

• Power Dynamics and BDSM: The conversation also explores power dynamics within relationships, particularly in the context of BDSM. Weezy explains, “The power is actually in the sub because the sub says no” (32:06), highlighting how consensual submission empowers individuals.

Personal Stories and Insights

Passport Cuddy opens up about her experience recording the audiobook version of No Hold Bar, revealing the emotional challenges she faced. She shares, “Recording this book was the hardest thing I’ve done professionally” (07:05), particularly during emotionally charged chapters like her experience with abortion.

Weezy contributes by discussing her role as a safe space for men to share intimate sexual experiences, especially Black men who may lack such support systems. She reflects, “For me to know that they don’t really have that safe space... it made me feel powerful to be able to create that for them” (28:23).

Reflections on Relationships

The hosts delve into the complexities of modern relationships, addressing issues like infidelity, emotional abuse, and the societal pressures of monogamy. Weezy narrates her past experiences with emotionally abusive relationships, admitting, "He wasn’t whooping my ass, he was cheating" (44:18). They emphasize the importance of authenticity and self-worth in choosing partners who accept one's past and flaws.

Cuddy adds, “There has to be a moment where we look at ourselves and ask or figure out, why were you there?” (40:03), urging listeners to take accountability for their role in past relationships to foster personal growth.

The Writing Process

The authors provide an intimate look into their collaborative writing process. Cuddy describes her method of combining therapy with writing, stating, “My process was... wake up prepared to write, prepared to tell these stories” (48:41). Weezy shares her spontaneous writing moments, often influenced by her experiences and surroundings, such as her creative burst on the beach after a trip to Mexico (48:52).

They discuss the challenges of meeting deadlines while maintaining authenticity, with Cuddy noting, “We had the opportunity of the book come to us... I wanna be able to include the parts of me that regret a lot of decisions that I made” (16:32).

Impact and Learnings

Through the process of writing No Hold Bar, both authors gained deeper insights into their personal lives and their relationship with each other. During the Q&A segment, they reflect on surprising discoveries about each other’s backgrounds and emotional landscapes. Mandii B shares her realization of the shame she felt despite her seemingly confident exterior, stating, “I was seeking validation from men, you dumb bitch” (38:36).

Weezy discusses the transformative power of healing in real-time, particularly through shared stories on their podcast, which brought about personal growth and a better understanding of their own vulnerabilities (67:05).

Q&A Highlights

Listeners posed thoughtful questions about the authors' journey and the revelations they encountered while writing the book. One listener asked, “What was the turning point for y' to fully be your authentic self?” Weezy responded by emphasizing the collective purpose behind their work, stating, “This is a bigger picture than me... our hive” (69:24).

Corporate Background and Entrepreneurial Success

The discussion shifts to their corporate backgrounds and how these experiences contributed to their success as entrepreneurs. Cuddy elaborates on how her corporate skills, especially organization and discipline, seamlessly transitioned into her entrepreneurial endeavors. She shares, “Seeing our stories... I'm able to look at it the way I am without the lens from the things that I learned in school” (57:05).

Weezy complements this by highlighting the importance of authenticity learned from her corporate experiences, mentioning, “I be saying, hey, y' all in the emails, I just... I really love being myself” (62:20).

Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Mandii B and WeezyWTF express their gratitude to Passport Cuddy for sharing her insights and experiences. They encourage listeners to explore No Hold Bar, promising that the book offers valuable lessons and relatable stories for anyone navigating the complexities of modern relationships. The hosts conclude with plans for future interactions and book signings, inviting listeners to join their ongoing conversation on authentic connections and personal growth.

Notable Quotes:

• Passport Cuddy: “The book has a lot of layers. It's very sexy, but smart, and it's very wild, but wise.” (02:51)

• WeezyWTF: “Sometimes I get scared to tell you if I’m jealous because I don’t want you to say, this isn’t for us.” (11:56)

• Cuddy: “There has to be a moment where we look at ourselves and ask or figure out, why were you there?” (40:03)

• WeezyWTF: “The power is actually in the sub because the sub says no.” (32:06)

• Passport Cuddy: “Recording this book was the hardest thing I’ve done professionally.” (07:05)

Timestamp References:

• (Note: Timestamps are indicative based on the transcript excerpts provided.)

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the key discussions, personal anecdotes, and insightful reflections shared during the episode, providing listeners with a clear understanding of the topics covered without needing to listen to the full podcast.

Transcript

[Weezy]

This is an Iheart podcast.

[Mandy]

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[Unknown]

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[Weezy]

Welcome to Decisions. Decision.

[Unknown]

I don't think you should say decision. Decision.

[Cuddy]

It sounded like you was talking to cursing.

[Weezy]

You definitely say the welcome.

[Unknown]

Welcome to the new podcast.

[Weezy]

Oh, wait, you want to say it together?

[Unknown]

Decisions, Decisions.

[Cuddy]

I am Passport Cuddy.

[Weezy]

I am an author.

[Unknown]

Life coach. Dating coach. You're missing one. Huh?

[Cuddy]

Podcast.

[Unknown]

Former Hope Coach.

[Weezy]

She was.

[Unknown]

She was before us. Okay, we didn't get into that first.

[Weezy]

Author we ever had on the podcast.

[Unknown]

These podcasters, they started interviewing everybody else.

[Cuddy]

They don't even know.

[Unknown]

Okay, okay, okay. Come in.

[Weezy]

Okay. I'm happy. He's strong.

[Cuddy]

Look, the only hat was on my notes.

[Unknown]

Okay, some of you might remember me.

[Cuddy]

From one of their first episodes. It was them interviewing me about my first book, the Eminent man is for Money. So that's why I'm so happy to be here, to be talking to them about their first book, no Hold Bar, which is a dual manifesto of such exploration and power. And I had the luxury and the privilege of reading it twice already. Then if you are. If you've been listening for a long, long time. We had another episode we did that was. We talked about something, that super table. We're going to get into that later. But this dynamic duo, they did something super disruptive. They built community. They built safety, exploration, identity, fun. And for me, above all, educated. So I love these ladies. The book has a lot of layers. It's very sexy, but smart, and it's very wild, but wise. Okay, so we are going to get into taking it wild.

[Unknown]

Wild. Wise, sexy, but smart.

[Cuddy]

Okay, so I want to tell you guys what I love about the book personally. Right. So I usually love memoirs and self help. I used to read all the erotic stuff, but this is all of them in one. So it really is a pleasure to, like, get a dose of everything all at once. And I'm just so. I was more surprised by the education part of it because there was still stuff that I did not know, and I was looking it up on Google. Right.

[Unknown]

Like words.

[Cuddy]

And you guys did a good job at explaining a lot of things that you thought that people weren't gonna know, but there was still something I didn't know. Agrosexual.

[Unknown]

So it's called a bro sexual. So what's crazy about that one is ended up even talking about that in an episode. I just think all of the labels that go onto our sexualities, like, anyone could like, say, oh, maybe you're not that, maybe you're not that. What I've noticed is, though, specifically for me, from when I first started having sex at 16 years old all the way to now, is that there's been ebbs and flows of what I've been into, and it's changed. Y' all know the name for that now. So homosexual is the ability to kind of be fluid with. Oh, sorry. Fluid with your sexual identity. So, yeah, the.

[Weezy]

The.

[Unknown]

The privilege now to be able to change and be like, no, I know I was this way at one point. It doesn't define me now. Saw that word, thought it was phenomenal.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And threw it off in there.

[Cuddy]

Another one was conversion, which you do.

[Weezy]

You do. People so tired of hearing me say, that is my favorite word. And it's so conversion. If y' all listen to the show. Clap if you know the word.

[Unknown]

Dick sucking stories.

[Weezy]

So conversion means that you're taking pleasure in someone else receiving pleasure. So much like a cuckold, a cuck queen, someone that just enjoys knowing that their partner is also enjoying. And a lot of times in non monogamy, you actually have to really practice conversion knowing that someone is having fun by having an experience that's outside of you. And so I'm not saying I'm 100% good at conversion, but I get there at 80, 20, 20% of the time. I eat Cousin Indigo.

[Cuddy]

I also didn't know what MDMA was.

[Weezy]

Mdma?

[Unknown]

Is that a drug? I'm telling y', all, there's mad stuff. I still don't know if that's the same.

[Weezy]

I'm not gonna hold you as a New York girl. Half of the stories I like to be like, I was high some of it. It's actually a lot.

[Unknown]

It wasn't that high.

[Cuddy]

The Molly didn't hit that hard, so. Well, that.

[Unknown]

Look, the proof is that those words.

[Cuddy]

That stuck out to me are gonna stick out to you as well. All right? So it's vulnerable, it's personal, it's transparent, it's funny, and it has a lot of personality. And I'm gonna be honest with you. You have to read it, but you.

[Unknown]

Also have to listen to it.

[Cuddy]

Like, you can't just do one. Because I did both. Right.

[Unknown]

So you had time to listen to it all. It's 10 hours.

[Weezy]

I know.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Cuddy]

I was at the cool all day.

[Unknown]

Two times. Speed.

[Weezy]

Dedicated.

[Cuddy]

No, no. I wake up at 5:00am I wake up at 5am you do? I had from 5:00am all the way till I got here.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Cuddy]

But also in the. The book I was reading at school yesterday, again, and when we.

[Weezy]

You.

[Cuddy]

When you were writing. Okay, can I.

[Unknown]

Can I ask you as someone who's listened to it? Because I'm surprised we have someone who has just your thoughts on kind of while reading it and hearing it, the emotion that was conveyed. Because for me. And if y' all are patrons, I've talked about it. Recording this book was the hardest thing I've done professionally.

[Cuddy]

She.

[Unknown]

She tried to warn me. I was like, bitch, I talk for a living. I talk all the time.

[Cuddy]

I said, listen, did y' all record the audiobook? Yeah. And she was like, no, we about.

[Weezy]

To do that in.

[Cuddy]

In, like, two days or something. I said, I'm just gonna let you know right now.

[Unknown]

She warned me, you gonna feel like.

[Cuddy]

You don't know how to read.

[Unknown]

I didn't know how to talk. I didn't know how to read. There was. There was. There were. There were chapters that were so easy to write. And then when I was speaking them, a bitch got choked up. When you can't choke up, you can't breathe. So, like, it was like, the emotion that she still wanted it. But I'm like, oh, shit. Like, the chapter, like, my abortion chapter was. I wrote that in, like, a day. Like, that was. I knew I wanted to share that story with everything happening. And before writing it, I had a therapy session. I interviewed my mom. I interviewed my friend Kita, who helped me pay. Well, I wanted to say, though, for the audio version of it, we don't. I can. I could talk about this. But for the audio version of that chapter, which was my easiest. A bitch broke Broke down in the. In the recording version of it. So, yeah, I don't know if you. Were you able to. Were you able to hear at all that?

[Cuddy]

You can. You can hear the personality and emotions behind all of the top. Like, some of the Soother. Exciting, you know, like, it's easy. They'll. They'll.

[Weezy]

They'll know this book because the most uncomfortable thing to read was not an assault. Nothing like that.

[Cuddy]

It was this sentence in front of.

[Weezy]

I would say he was maybe mid-50s, Latino, dude. I mean, I'm recording this audiobook in L. A, and there's a glass wall with the person saying, yep, go ahead, wheezy. And just, you know, stick with the same cadence. And I remember it because I was.

[Cuddy]

Like, he going to take him a while.

[Unknown]

This is in the session.

[Weezy]

Oh, girl, you're the engineer. My ultimate fantasy had always been getting while eating pussy. And then I look at me. I did not tell y'.

[Unknown]

All.

[Weezy]

He really sat there and he goes, this is gonna. It's really gonna touch people. It's a fun journey.

[Cuddy]

When you're in this industry, like, nothing surprises people sometimes. Like, they've heard it all, like, in music or especially engineers, They've, like, not.

[Unknown]

Not.

[Weezy]

Yo, that man said, whoa. Oh.

[Cuddy]

They probably hear from, like, met.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Cuddy]

Like, right.

[Weezy]

And so just to describe the setting we were in, rappers go in there to make music. People go in there to do advertisements, like, things like that, like commercials and voiceovers. So to have someone just sit there with you and hear 10 hours of your book, it was interesting. And also tell you you can't read. Yes.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

I got so many words wrong. Yeah. I read the word 2:12. Take a look.

[Unknown]

Also, I wrote words, and I was like, how you say this?

[Weezy]

Yeah, no, that's what I need to tell.

[Cuddy]

When it went. When it got to naivete, I was like, naivety, like, when I was recording mine. Yeah.

[Weezy]

So you know our co author, shout out to Tessa's X.

[Unknown]

She's here, y'. All. Tess is right here, y'. All.

[Weezy]

She really, like, took our book to another level by helping this ad depth and dimension to this book. And one of the words that I couldn't read because my brain got stuck, that I could tell Tempest was jammed in there, homogeneous. And I say, homo genus. And they were like this. Did you know? Yeah.

[Cuddy]

Okay. So two things that popped out for me in this book that I feel like were major themes for you guys individually separate, were for you, Mandy, it was shame, and then for you, it was jealousy. And I want to know like, for me, I felt like those are two themes that a lot of people don't admit, but that's the part of self help, you know, like when you are trying to really, like, get to know yourself and change things about yourself, you got to admit things that are uncomfortable. So I want to know, at what point did you guys feel like you could admit, like, oh, shit, I'm jealous when I see him with her or her with him, or, you know, like, when did jealousy be something that you were able to own and for you, the shame. You were like, the shame of, you know, my friends judging me if I wanted to leave with a guy or if I wanted, you know, like I was on a date and like, I felt excited about it, but, you know, like, I didn't want anybody else to, like, judge me about it. So you guys can answer respectively.

[Weezy]

I'll start with jealousy. You know, for anyone that listens to this show, whether you're monogamous or non monogamous, the constant conversation you have with yourself is jealousy. I've been in relationships where my partner dated no one else, and I was jealous of the bitch that had to work with me. So I think that jealousy is something you can be able to face when it can be accepted. Because here's the thing, I just had this conversation with my partner recently where I said, sometimes I get scared to tell you if I'm jealous because I don't want you to say, this isn't for us. I need to just be able to get it out.

[Cuddy]

You said, I'll be jealous of my best friend's mama if it wasn't his mama. Like, that's how much I love him.

[Weezy]

I have two best friends in union right now, and I'm gonna tell you right now, Breonda had to give me a warning. Don't get upset. I'm gonna be hanging out with some of my parents. This is a woman, one of my best friends, Andre, if he has another homegirl. I'm just that.

[Cuddy]

Were you ever, um. Did you ever deny that part about your. Yourself or did you always.

[Unknown]

Of course.

[Weezy]

Because you know what we think of jealousy as?

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

Weakness. Yeah. If you are a jealous person, you're weak, you're insecure, whatever.

[Unknown]

If.

[Weezy]

If I don't say this out loud, then it just sits there and it goes into your resentment.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

So I think that the first step in having someone be able to help you, because now that my partner knows I can feel jealousy, what does he do to help?

[Unknown]

Right?

[Weezy]

Affirmation. Yeah, Reaffirming. Our relationship. Like, you have to say these things.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

And so I think just admitting the jealousy with confidence is what you gotta do.

[Cuddy]

Somebody was so brave of you to put that, because most people deny it. And you cannot help. You can't self help. You can't ask your therapist for tools or anything if you don't admit that you have these feelings deep down inside. So I love that you talk about and you openly say, like, I'm jealous of this. I'm jealous of this. I wanted to make sure that she wasn't gonna enjoy him eating her pussy more than better than me.

[Weezy]

He hasn't fucked a bitch better than you.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Cuddy]

Okay. Awesome.

[Unknown]

So, man, so for me, let me tell you, timing matters. Had this book came out a year or two ago, I wouldn't be able to sit here and like it because I would have gagged over the soulmate.

[Weezy]

Nigga that I thought I was gonna with.

[Unknown]

Like, he had so many. He had so many parts of this book in our proposal because I was like, ooh, I found love. I found my. And I would have hated that this book came out. And I, you know, immortalized him in. In that way. And so for me, when we had the opportunity of the book come to us, I had just gotten into therapy. And so during the pandemic, I had a lot more time to sit with myself. And when it came to this book, Weezy really wanted to lean into the erotica, and I was fine with that. But I was like, bitch, I. There's a lot of shit I done did and said on this podcast that I fucking hate with my. Like, I hate it. And I know that there's like a conflation. That's the word. Conflate. You could conflate being liberated and fucked up. You know, I'm talking right now.

[Weezy]

Talking.

[Unknown]

I'm talking. But Florida education, y' all know, but when you talk about being liberated, which is what this platform, which is what horrible decisions was based upon, a lot of times they don't allow us as liberated, free women to admit our faults, to actually admit the shame and decisions that we made in our past that we've grown from, A lot of people just want to keep us in whatever bubble they want us to stay in. And for me, I was like, bro, I ain't even going to hold you. There's no way I'm writing this book telling women to have sex for this amount of money and view men in this way, because I've now been able to experience viewing men in such a beautiful way. And Experiencing intimacy in ways that I didn't in the beginning, that I was like, bro, like, I'm not gonna tell the younger generation or women my age to think the way that I thought when we first started this show. And there was just a lot of trauma that I was overcoming and ways in which I thought, like, there's a whole chapter about me being a side chick. And I used to think, well, they like me more than their wife because they telling the truth to me. And the rhetoric was so dumb. And so I'm literally in the book realizing, oh, but you ain't have no self worth. Oh, but you actually thought that you couldn't be a priority to a man, which is why you fell by the wayside. There was a lot of reflection that had to happen. And to me, this book wouldn't exist without me being able to share that part of my journey. And luckily we got to a point where we knew we were writing two different stories. Weezy is in a place where she's like, bitch, this me. And I'm like, well, this is me. And I really want to be able to include the parts of me that regret a lot of decisions that I made.

[Weezy]

People will read a lot of those chapters and think there's going to be someone because God forbid you sexually liberated and can have growth. You better not be a bitch that was out there having a good time fucking and now you're going to tell us you're gratitude. Well, hold on. I can't have one moment in my life? Yeah.

[Unknown]

Oh no, there's a lot more than one.

[Weezy]

I gotta go two, three.

[Unknown]

But yeah, so that to me, like this book, it was important. And our team over at Simon and Schuster too, once they started reading our stories, they're like, well, the readers are reading your stories. But because we were so adamant on making sure that people could pick up this book, whether they were fans of horrible decisions, decisions, decisions or not, they were like, well, what would you tell your reader then? And so we literally had a lot of calls with our publisher about, well, what can you give your reader? Like, readers like to take something away. And yes, they're hearing your stories, but what can you give them? So we went back and really tried to tell you guys, well, had I done this, maybe I would have gotten a better result. So hopefully you do this or here's a way to shoot your shot. And there's just different parts of self help in there that help you guys make better decisions than us.

[Cuddy]

Yes, it's very informational education.

[Unknown]

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[Weezy]

Mandy, tell me how much you hate getting a fee on something.

[Unknown]

I hate it. Especially the ones that are hidden. The ones where you see there's a total and then next thing you know there's a fee at the end. Like rentals for the weekend and concert tickets.

[Weezy]

For me it's a missed payment because, girl, we've been busy, okay? And honestly, every dollar counts for me. I got vacations to go on.

[Unknown]

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[Weezy]

You my favorite part?

[Unknown]

Forget the fee girl.

[Weezy]

Getting paid two days early. That's what I'm talking about.

[Unknown]

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[Weezy]

It's just always so convenient considering you never know what time zone you in. It might be 3am we in the club.

[Unknown]

We need that card to work the.

[Weezy]

Tools helping me with just balance updates and letting me know where I'm at in real time. That's what I'm talking about.

[Unknown]

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[Mandy]

Remember the Bad Guys? They're back and they're funnier than ever. DreamWorks animations the Bad Guys 2 is hitting theaters and my family could not be more excited. It's the boldest, wildest, baddest comedy of the summer. I mean, this time everything's bigger. The action, the laughs, the hilariously questionable decisions. I mean, it's everyone's favorite crew of criminals trying emphasize on trying to go good. And spoiler. It's not going well. Yeah, because they get roped into a heist that takes them all over the world by some new rivals. There's a slick, stylish, and seriously bad crew known as the Bad Girls. Yeah. The Bad Girls. Meet the Bad guys. I love it. This movie is packed with outrageous gags. It's epic action. It's so many laugh out loud moments that you might spill your popcorn just warning you. And here's a tip. See the Bad Guys two in a theater. The energy of the crowd will make every joke hit even harder. Kids are going to love it. Adults will love it, and your inner bad guy or bad girl will love it too. Get your tickets now for Dreamworks animations. The Bad Guys 2. In theaters August 1st. Rated PG.

[Cuddy]

But speaking of, Shane, I have a story to share.

[Unknown]

So.

[Cuddy]

Remember earlier when I said about one of the episodes?

[Unknown]

Yep.

[Cuddy]

It was actually episode 116.

[Unknown]

Here he is. She been here a long time. We in the 400s now.

[Cuddy]

So for myself, as someone who made a name for myself on the Internet, being raunchy, vulgar, taboo, like talking about taboo topics, they took sex talk to a whole nother level. I'm vanilla compared to. And I. Everybody thought that I was wild for talking about fucking dank and fucking and sugar daddies and all of that stuff. But when they came out, y' all made me feel like, oh, I'm a virgin again.

[Unknown]

Okay, now that I'm a virgin again.

[Weezy]

You have one of my favorite stories of all time.

[Cuddy]

Before this, I was like, I don't know anything that you guys are talking about. Like, I was so green compared to, like, the stories that were being shared.

[Weezy]

On the question race, if you don't mind. How old are you guys?

[Unknown]

Oh, by the way, y' all just heard us on the Breakfast Club this morning and pulled out.

[Weezy]

So, Nacho, why want you to guess? Cause I'm scared. I gotta.

[Cuddy]

34.

[Weezy]

Okay, both you guys are 34?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Cuddy]

Okay, so back in 2019, I went to India and I went to go get a. I'm not going to tell the whole story. I'm just going to tell what happened.

[Unknown]

So I went to India.

[Cuddy]

I went to go get a massage. I swear to God, I really thought I was going for a massage. I swear I'm not. Like, I really was going for a massage. And it ended with a happy ending right now. I was so excited that this happened.

[Unknown]

To me because for me, it was.

[Cuddy]

Like a story to tell.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Cuddy]

Did I want the person who did.

[Unknown]

It to me to do it to me?

[Cuddy]

But I had a story to tell. Like, this is a life story that's like fire to me, right? But I was in India with a friend who was in the other room, and she was propositioned with the same situation. And she was mortified. So she. When we left out the room, she's like, oh, my God, this is a special place. And so, because she was so mortified.

[Unknown]

I was too embarrassed to tell her.

[Cuddy]

That I got it done. So I was like, come on, let's go, girl.

[Unknown]

You know? But I couldn't wait to get home and tell Mandy and Reason. And the thing about it is, is.

[Cuddy]

That that goes to show you the safe space, right? Like, you know, your time, you know, where you could go. No judgment. And I told everybody all of my following. I was like, you want to hear the story?

[Unknown]

You go listen to their show, right? Because we were like, bitch, you lying.

[Cuddy]

Because I could have told the story on my live or on, you know, my page or whatever. I was like, nope, I'm going to tell them. And I'll never forget because you asked me a question on that episode. She said, what he look like? I said, God damn it, Weasley.

[Weezy]

He was running it.

[Unknown]

Of course he wasn't killed.

[Cuddy]

I said I was gonna leave that part out. I was like, he had one eye.

[Weezy]

But.

[Unknown]

I'm gonna take an Indian, man.

[Cuddy]

Listen, y' all gotta go back.

[Unknown]

Aladdin was not figuring her with the car. Go listen to it.

[Cuddy]

But the point.

[Weezy]

It's called, can I rub your pussy, ma'? Am? Yes.

[Cuddy]

Yes. Does that validate you guys in any way to know that people feel like they can only share their, like, intimate, deepest, darkest secrets because of you and with you?

[Unknown]

I mean, I think if. If y' all go back, there was a moment in time, and I hated that I, like, maybe called this on me. I called myself, like, the Buddha hole whisperer. Because at one point, every guy that was in my phone wanted they butt like they wanted to be bit over. They was opening up about, like. Like, the different experiences, literally. But they were also, like, sharing with me all of these fantasies or experiences or things that they had actually done sexually with either trans women or other men and all of these things. And I started being like, yo, I hate that I'm being told this, because they're not given this safe space by the women that they're actually dealing with because I wasn't dating them. I was like, I'll bend you over. We was Talking. But these weren't my partners. They were, like, some lovers. And so. But it made me feel like, damn, like there's all of these men that I'm talking to, because I was talking to a lot at a lot of times, and I'm like, whoa. I don't think think they have these safe spaces with their previous partners, with maybe whoever else they're engaging in with whoever else they're talking to. And for me, it made me feel like, wow, this is powerful, because I've only talked to black guys in my entire life. And so for me to know that they don't really have that safe space, it made me feel powerful to be able to create that for them. And then for my friends, I'll share another story because I wasn't allowed to share on air, so we might need to cut this off. But one of my other homegirls used to date a very famous rapper that got locked up, and.

[Weezy]

He'Ll never get that.

[Unknown]

And while they were together, like, clearly, how they were intimate with each other were through words. And so she would text me. This is when I was in college, so I'd be in the middle of the of class, and she'd be like, oh, girl, text him. Like, text me something sexy to see him. So I would literally be the person to, like, even open up their verbal communication sexually, because she wasn't. And she'd read those and be like, girl, how do you think like that? And I was like, you have to think. And so for my friends, they've been able to come to me with not only their health but their sexual dilemmas and men that I've dated, To me, it's one of the powers I feel like I have and being able to exist how I do. So I do just want to leave you with this for. For the women in this room, specifically, who have had the joys of being liberated or even just experimenting with their sexuality, creating that safe space for any guy to even share that with you and not yuck their yum. Because whether you liked it or not, however you identify, you got to enjoy that experience. You got to have that experience. And I don't think we allow black men as much as to exist or have those experiences. And we're up here being able to talk like this because y' all welcome this conversation. We have to welcome our.

[Weezy]

Our brothers as well. Yeah, I know.

[Unknown]

That was real deep. My bad.

[Cuddy]

I got rigged up with. It leads me into my third question, which is about power, which is one of the major themes of the Book. But you guys talk about it very differently. You talk about it in a. More like. Like how you just said, I have power over these men. I'm bending them over. I'm doing.

[Unknown]

You do.

[Cuddy]

Doing your thing. And then I love the part where you talk about submission having power. Right.

[Unknown]

Especially we do do that differently situation.

[Cuddy]

You said the person who's the submissive actually is basically calling shots about what they want, you know?

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Cuddy]

Like, so you guys can talk about.

[Weezy]

Pick that up.

[Cuddy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Weezy]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. Like, I appreciate that because a lot of the times when reading this book, I think you're not going to pull the power from that section. And a lot of time in conversation about bdsm, where do we think that the person that's on their knees is just this, oh, my God, I feel so bad for her. She's getting her ass whooped, bitch.

[Unknown]

We.

[Cuddy]

They want.

[Weezy]

They pay for that.

[Cuddy]

They want that, you know? Well, not pain. Well, some people.

[Weezy]

No.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Weezy]

I mean, over the years, I've interviewed so many dommes that want women to experience this in a safe way. And I think the most beautiful part of my BDSM story is that luckily I got to be with someone that was actually a domme. Not only. What were they a domme for a long time, but they were a dom that didn't take their dominating pleasures into. Into play when it came to me. So, for example, I found out later, he likes to suffocate women. That didn't even come up with me because when I was sent a checklist, it was something that I put no.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Weezy]

So he didn't even tell me this. I found this out years later. That was his kink. So really just his pleasure was being able to dominate and please someone that liked to be a sub. And when we. Credi is talking about the power, I know you guys didn't get to read that yet. I talk about how I asked for everything I wanted. There wasn't anything that happened to me that was a no. There wasn't anything that made me feel uncomfortable. And there was also power in the safe word. And I think that women get so scared to ask for something that they want because it seems like if you're giving yourself to someone, then you have no power. To me, it is much like the one night stand. You could either do a walk of.

[Cuddy]

Shame or you could, like, walk a pride.

[Weezy]

And I've been there with both. I've definitely left someone's apartment and been like, oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe I'm not going to tell my friends. And then there became this moment of confidence where I was like, same outfit, this chocolate.

[Cuddy]

Who the fuck is this new dress?

[Unknown]

I want to add to what she's saying because this is currently a conversation in pop culture. Shout out to our 27 white listeners, because I'm about to bring up a white woman. But the conversation right now, I see I'm free.

[Weezy]

I see it. I'm free.

[Unknown]

I see it. But you said about that book. It's crazy. It's crazy because there's a conversation right now happening around Sabrina Carpenter's new album cover where she's on her knees and she's, you know, and she's in this thing. And so knowing that, like, she's in a submissive stance, not to shout out my friend, but to shout out my friend. So on around the way curls this week, they literally talk about how, as a woman who's in a relationship, yeah, it's powerful to be submissive. But maybe the views on single women doing these things don't hold the lens to it being as powerful as it really is. And so when submission is done safely, consensually, with a dom who values your. Your boundaries, the power is actually in the sub. Because the sub says no. The sub says, when it's too much, the sub, like, will do what. What makes them feel well, which makes the dom be excited. Like, when I be bending them niggas over, like, it's powerful for me, but they're in a space where they safe and it becomes powerful for them. So I just hate that what we do be taking away the power from some misses. But I say all that to say, like, I love that we've been able to have that type of dialogue around those two spaces within bdsm.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Specifically for that, you know, I want.

[Weezy]

To add to this as far as power. Yeah. The walk of shame, the walk of pride. Right. Both times that night started with me wanting to have sex with her. The difference in the person that I wasn't both is that I got over that bullshit of feeling bad about enjoying sex.

[Unknown]

Oh, that is not what I thought you were going to say.

[Weezy]

What did you see? I was gonna say I thought it.

[Unknown]

Only becomes like a walk of shame when it's bad.

[Weezy]

No, bitch, what did we think?

[Unknown]

And be like, what if I thought she was good? I was about to say, cause when it's good, which I be saying, I be like. Like, I thought it was shame and sex.

[Weezy]

If I felt ashamed of the sex I had the night before, it was genuinely because that was a phase of my life where I felt like I shouldn't be doing that or I should be looking for a relationship, or, ooh, I fucked him on the second date, not the third date. There was so many rules in my head instead of just enjoying, you know? And, like, I think that as people that want to explore ourselves, we think, hey, if I want a relationship, I gotta be doing things intentionally. I can't have sex with someone for fun because I want to get married and have a husband. Well, you need to fuck some things before you meet your soulmate. Let me tell you something.

[Cuddy]

They could be your soulmate. Hello.

[Weezy]

This is in the book. And I. It's so important to me, this line. It's in the love chapter. It's in the final chapter of the book. I was saying to my homegrown Sheeta, not a snort.

[Unknown]

I don't know. People still snorted. I ain't heard.

[Weezy]

A snort is so much. I'm complaining to Rashida about dating, and I'm like, girl, when is it going to happen? I don't understand.

[Cuddy]

I went to therapy.

[Weezy]

I'm healed. What the fuck, bitch? And she's like, girl, what if you found out this was your last summer single? What if it was your last summer single?

[Unknown]

Wouldn't you want to do a little something?

[Cuddy]

Yeah, I was happy about the happy ending, because I was like, shit, I want to get. I want some fun stuff to happen before you lock yourself in.

[Unknown]

Hello. You locked it. You better still be having fun with your person. You don't share that with your person.

[Weezy]

Of course you share with your person. You got to think about it. So, no.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Weezy]

By the time you meet your person, right, you've got to assume that your person, for you, is the one that's going to accept all of those flaws, all of those stories. Me and my nigga really be sitting up, and I'd be like, yo, let me tell you about that sugar daddy I had. What the. Is he gonna do, like, excommunicate me to the girl? No, but you're saying, like, before you tie the knot or something like that. You mentioned. I think that if you're marrying the right person, they know all that shit.

[Cuddy]

That's.

[Weezy]

Yeah, you mentioned that to me. Matter of fact. Yeah, this to me.

[Unknown]

Me. It's too late.

[Weezy]

Like, we.

[Unknown]

We mentioned shit since I was 26. I done talked about, like, we gotta argue.

[Weezy]

I feel like this was the moment that hit me. Like, all right, I'M with the right person. Last week, while we were in France, ran into a homegirl I've known since I was 17 years old. She's sitting in front of my man, like, let me tell you.

[Unknown]

And me and this bitch was doing da, da, da.

[Weezy]

And we was walking down the street in Miami, and then she was doing this. And there was not something she could have said that would have made me scared. I was sitting there looking at her like, oh, yeah.

[Unknown]

Ha, ha ha.

[Weezy]

Imagine you're with a partner that you like this. Come on.

[Cuddy]

But she still got a big mouth.

[Weezy]

And I really want him. I mean, she's. I'm like, that's bigger than that. And so that's the thing about it, right? If you're with the right person, that'd be your. You shouldn't be scared of your friend. Gotta be.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

Can't be scared of shit.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

I'm not gonna fucking post some crazy shit on my close friends about chance. No, baby, I'm getting fucked up tonight.

[Cuddy]

With my homegirl, like.

[Weezy]

And that's the thing. Anything she would have said, already knew about it. That's what you're saying. Even if you never heard the story, that's when you know that your person gotta know you either live the life you've had, but they have to accept you for that. Why are we gonna.

[Unknown]

And if you don't. Next. There's a lot of why are we.

[Weezy]

Gonna end up with anybody that's gonna make us feel bad about living life?

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And I think that that's what we talk about in the book. Like, at the end of the day. Like, there's a period at the end of each chapter. And I said this on the records club. There's a period at the end of each chapter. But probably next year, we can add to each chapter in this book. Like, it's still an ongoing journey. You see what I'm saying? But, like, we're not. My hair. I said, let's slide it out.

[Weezy]

Oh, shit.

[Unknown]

It's turning. It ain't turning into a pro because the white people here. But can you edit this?

[Cuddy]

All right, let me ask you guys another question. What's one of the truths that you were scared to write?

[Unknown]

Honestly, my shame.

[Cuddy]

Okay.

[Unknown]

I was. I was like, ooh, I gotta say I was insecure. I gotta say I didn't value myself. I didn't say, bitch, you ain't. You was a worthless piece of shit. Like, literally, I put myself in situations that at one point, I spoke so proudly of, when deep down inside, I Knew I didn't feel good about it, Right? And so for me, I think that was the hardest thing to put to paper, was like, oh, yeah, bitch. You claim to have been confident this whole time and was happy in your body and was doing this, and, no, you were seeking validation from men, you dumb bitch. And so, like, to me, it was holding up the mirror and really being able to be like, okay, you weren't as strong as you showed everyone that you were. You weren't as confident. And it was really sitting with the fact that, okay, well, I learned from it. It's important for me to put it in here. But I think even a part of the book, saying it about myself, like the audio version, therapeutic, it was like, ooh, okay, mirror up. All right, you did that. I'm glad you're grown. But, whoa.

[Cuddy]

Together, of course that's going to help everybody or anybody who reads it, you know, because if they're feeling. If they're experiencing that same thing, you know, they can forgive themselves as well.

[Unknown]

And a lot of women, this is.

[Cuddy]

Going to be problematic.

[Unknown]

Take. But I'm seeing it in the comments because of what I said on the brick flip. Accountability is hard for a lot of us.

[Weezy]

Yes.

[Unknown]

And so when we stay in relationships too long, when we're with a person that we know is not good for us, in hindsight, we could sit here and blame that person for all the things and can blame them forever and be so upset, like, oh, you did this to me. You did this to me. And we don't often look at the things we do to ourselves. Well, why were you there? It's because, bitch, you thought that maybe that was the best you could get because you didn't think higher of yourself. And so for me, having, like, gone through the therapy and writing this book, it was a lot of that. It was like, oh, you was a proud side chick because you ain't think a man really wanted you, so you took the crumbs because you didn't think you could have a whole cake. And so to me, that's the part about women when we can blame our exes for being pieces of shit. We can blame men. We can blame women for, like, being who they are, however we date, right? But there has to be a moment where we look at ourselves and ask or figure out, well, you stayed. You were there. And why. Why didn't you leave when you saw the first red flags? Why did you think, well, no, I say that. Hold on. I say that you talked about red flags in the blood.

[Weezy]

I love that. But you know what? I did not think that chapter was that great. I mean, it was just like, oh, my ex boyfriend, whatever. Wait, the more.

[Cuddy]

That's the one you talking about?

[Weezy]

No, no, no, I'm saying the more I.

[Unknown]

The whole faith chapter. Yeah.

[Weezy]

When you know you stayed too long. Oh, okay. The more I talk about it in interviews and shit.

[Cuddy]

And people are latching.

[Weezy]

People are like, oh, yeah, Like, I stayed in a relationship too.

[Unknown]

I got a homegirl right now. Every time I call her, I'm like, you leaving again? She can't stand them.

[Cuddy]

Talks about, oh, my God, he gained weight every week.

[Weezy]

Oh, my God, my friends in the back know who I'm talking about. At the end of the day, she's not ready to go.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

And she's staying too long. And we have all been there. Men too. We've been in relationships where like, all my homeboys that stayed in a relationship too. I'm like, man, I feel bad. She going through it. Oh, this just happened. I don't know what to do. It's just easier to stay. It's like for some reason, leaving feels like the task. Did you.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's easier to say. Without marriage, it feels like you need to get reimbursed for something.

[Cuddy]

So sometimes people stay because they're waiting. Oh, okay.

[Unknown]

I'm invested.

[Cuddy]

I'm gonna leave here with time.

[Unknown]

I'm waiting until something else can decide. I will say.

[Weezy]

And then you think about when it was good and you're like 72 there.

[Unknown]

That was. That's probably one of the dumbest things that I think we grew up learning. Like, to me, like, the fact that love is hard and you gotta chase them. You have to work for it. Like all of those negative, like, tropes around. Love, to me is what I talk about. Like, I don't even like saying the word. Now. I love my friends, but these n. I don't know about that. So, like, for me though, it's because that word is attached to such toxicity in romantic partnerships that it's made me resent the word. It's surface level. It's something that you say, but the actions behind it don't often exist. And then once you say it, you feel tied into this relationship over a thing that. What is it? I don't know what love is, y'. All. So by the way, when you read the book, bitch thought I might have known. I don't. I don't know what it is. And I have my hang ups with that word specifically because of the use of it.

[Cuddy]

But was it you, Weezy, who said something about. At least it was better than that kind of thing.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Cuddy]

Oh, it's not physical abuse. It's not.

[Weezy]

So one of the conversations, Teddy, it's crazy you said that. Didn't I just say that?

[Unknown]

A few hours ago, Literally, we just recorded because we've been working on Patreon.

[Weezy]

I ran into my ex and it was crazy because I maybe said a week before, I haven't seen him in years. And it's been on my mind because this chapter, everyone that interviews us is like, damn, he was terrible. But then when I'm writing the chapter, I'm like, like, why did I think he was that bad? I'm like, oh, well, I've been in a physically abusive relationship. He wasn't whooping my ass, he was cheating. So if I let him fuck girls anyway, what's the big deal? He just lied. And then the other thing was, I've been in emotionally abusing relationship. He wasn't mean to me, never yelled at me. We have fun. Am I really in a bad relationship? He's just fucking bitches.

[Unknown]

But at the end of the day.

[Weezy]

I never thought or had it clicked, oh, he's disrespecting me. He's lying to me. He's not telling me the truth. And not only when is he not telling you the truth. When he. When I find out and have a conversation with him, he's like, I don't care about them. I mean, we're going to be together. So, you know, it's just. I didn't tell you. You let me sleep with other women, but I just didn't tell you.

[Unknown]

So it's not that bad.

[Weezy]

And I'm really sitting there like. And, and that's the thing. We start to think, because it's not as bad as something else I said on the Breakfast Club the other day. Comparison is the thief of joy. But it's also the reason that we sometimes get joy. Let's just say your man cheated on you. You're gonna say, well, my homegirl got cheated on three times. At least he didn't do that. It's rationalized so much. Yes. It's always this thing of like, well, not this. Instead of what did I set out for myself? If I made a list of the things I need from a man or.

[Unknown]

Relationship, doing it break that little.

[Weezy]

Sorry, we gotta stop acting like there's not that many people out there.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah.

[Weezy]

Because there actually is.

[Unknown]

Is there? And we make jokes a lot about.

[Weezy]

How there's no one. But let me tell you something, there is. They're there.

[Cuddy]

Girl.

[Unknown]

I live in Atlanta now.

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[Mandy]

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[Unknown]

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[Cuddy]

Where and how was your favorite place to start to write? Like, where did the juices flow at? Like, what was.

[Weezy]

Great question. Oh, I know my story.

[Unknown]

The author, she knows because I know.

[Cuddy]

My story, so I know, like, how it started coming. So I want to know what that is for you guys.

[Weezy]

This is gonna be so cliche, the fucking stories. Anything about sex?

[Cuddy]

No, but where. Where were you that made you, like, made it come to?

[Unknown]

You know how like, sometimes, like, before the proposal.

[Weezy]

No.

[Cuddy]

When you're supposed to write the book, it's like, you have to find the time. You have to find the. Yeah.

[Weezy]

Oh, man.

[Cuddy]

Like, was it, like, in the bed, on the plane? On the toilet? In the. Lying down.

[Weezy]

Did you remember the thing about the toilet when I texted my friends and my man Lovey?

[Cuddy]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Weezy]

I'm telling you, the toilet, the plane, and the beach. So. So I went out with my friends. Two of them are here. We did some acid in Mexico. And when the acid subsided, I said.

[Cuddy]

Subscribing.

[Weezy]

The drug just so I'm there. I'm in this moment of just gratitude for friendship and love. And I got on the beach and on my phone, started to write about how it.

[Cuddy]

Like, I know.

[Weezy]

Yes, okay. In the notes section of my phone. And I remember my phone was dying, and I'm like, whatever the fucking. Is the charging my phone on the side. I'm like, I gotta get this out. And I think there was something about a moment of release because it was very hard. Our editor Michelle's here, and Tempest X is here, and we're like, okay, we gotta get this chapter out by Saturday. That shit makes it harder. Cause now you can't be authentic because you got a deadline. Yeah.

[Unknown]

And we ain't meet them deadlines.

[Weezy]

So the second I'm not a deadline person, baby, if you tell me Saturday, I'm like, no, I'm gonna fuck this up.

[Unknown]

It went from July to September, y'. All. That's me.

[Weezy]

Bitch, cut it out.

[Unknown]

She like, you want the email thread? You know, me, too.

[Weezy]

I'll tell you this. The publishing date ain't the same. It's fine. If I needed my time, I needed my time to make magic. And it was what it was. So be that as it may.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

I really did need time without an acid. You said trout acid.

[Cuddy]

After she came down off the high started, like.

[Weezy]

Because what happened was I got to, like, be out of this. I need to finish my book brain.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Weezy]

Instead of like, this book is fun, right?

[Unknown]

Right.

[Weezy]

So the second, you know, I went out with friends and had fun, I got to have this release of like, oh, this is what it was like to have a good time. And I hadn't felt that because the book went through ebbs and flows of fun for me.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Weezy]

Like, I went through a really serious hard time at the end of the book that you'll read and talk about suicide and depression. So it's like, I gotta go back to this. Let's just say I'm having a good day.

[Cuddy]

Oh, I gotta go back to the death chapter.

[Unknown]

I wanted to kill myself.

[Weezy]

That shit was fun. Like, you know, and then everybody's sitting.

[Unknown]

Here like, how's it going?

[Weezy]

Oh, talking about killing myself.

[Unknown]

He didn't even know, you know.

[Weezy]

So it's, it's really that. It's like finding the sweet spot of making this book pleasurable to write is going to make it a good read for you.

[Cuddy]

And you made me. What was your place?

[Unknown]

So y' all know I'm very.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So once the proposal was done and I knew all the chapters I was going to write mentally, I saw with which ones would be the easier mentally for me. So I went through with that first. I was like, okay. I went through the ones with Tempest. I said, these are going to be tough for me. I'm going to do therapy sessions for those and I'll record them. So eventually, if y' all are patrons, I have recorded therapy sessions for certain chapters that I plan to. I don't know if I'm going to narrate them. I said, I want this process recorded. And so I went through certain therapy sessions. Crime, like, all the shame had to go through therapy sessions. So the ones that were easy were the ones like around sex. Ironically, the abortion chapter was fairly easy. And so my process was, okay, if I need therapy, I go to therapy first. Next was Tempest would come to my house and we put like four hour blocks. Literally, she would come to my house for four hours. We'd do a mid lunch and like, basically what she came over to do was to get me to talk. How do I want this chapter to lay out? What is the theme? What is the art? What emotions do you want to resonate? What do you want from the reader? And she would sit there and help me decide how we would write, like how it should flow as a chapter. Then she's like, okay, here's how we said, you're going to write it, so go write it. So after those four hours, we'd Normally do it for, like, two chapters at a time, sometimes three. And she'd be like, okay, so here's your story. Here's how you want to tell it. Now put it to computer. So what I would do, actually, is because I'm a morning person, like an idiot, I get my goddamn coffee. I would wake up. I scheduled the days that I would write, and so I would wake up prepared to write, prepared to tell these stories. I'd get my coffee, sit at my. Sit at my dining room table, and just type. And sometimes I had it in me. Oftentimes I'd be like, okay, bitch, I need a break. I'm eight pages in. Let me call my friend and talk. Honestly, too. I've loved it. Cuddy's here. And that's why I asked. When I would be done with some chapters, I would send them to Cudi. Cudi's written a book. So she'd be like, this is cool, but I don't get what you're trying to say here, so maybe add this. And so I had a support system between Tempest and Cudi during writing this thing, but I would honestly do it in the mornings over coffee. And I scheduled it like it was a work shift. Like today I'm working on the bookshelf.

[Weezy]

I think that was why. Just wheezy, being wheezy. Writing for me had to be a different place every time. Right. I actually want to tell a story about a friend that had to read one of my chapters. This is my favorite reaction I've ever seen. I'm sorry. She was reading the love chapter where I talked about, now you and you.

[Cuddy]

Love, love, love. All right, girl. I was like, these three.

[Unknown]

I was reading it, and, you know.

[Weezy]

This is my sister. So she's reading this thing, and I'm looking at her for this validation of, please, like, tell me what you think. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm really proud of this. She's holding my phone at the time.

[Cuddy]

And reading it it.

[Weezy]

And I remember she reading it kind of out loud, like a mumbling, like, okay. So then he came inside of me.

[Cuddy]

Oh.

[Weezy]

She looks at me. Wheezy, please. And then when he was fucking.

[Unknown]

And she's having a hard time getting.

[Weezy]

Through this, and I'm like, is it good? It's good, it's good, it's good, it's good. And, like, it's crazy because what we need from friends in this moment is them to hear these stories. Right? Right. So that, to me, was a funny story because it was sexual. Tempest X. Who's Become a friend is reading this story about depression and suicide. She's like, okay, I know we need to, like, I need to give you feedback right now. Can I just say, like, whoa. Yeah. So each time we're handing someone something for approval, different reaction. They're trying to be like, do I be soft right now? Like, what do I do? So that was the most interesting part of the writing process. Yeah. Sending chapters to friends that have heard nothing even. I mean, I hate to make it dark. Talking about rape, bro. And your friends are reading something for the first time and like, hey, I know this happened to you, but what the fuck? And I feel like, you know, you guys are so connected to us that you will feel the same. Reading that about Mandy. And I. I read things about Mandy. I've podcasted with Mandy 8 years. Known her since I was 15. That I was like, oh, that made me feel. You know what I'm saying? So, like, everyone will connect to this in a different way.

[Cuddy]

Yeah. Okay, well, we're going to wrap up here, but I just want to congratulate you guys. But before we leave, I just want to talk about how a lot of people look at people as entertainers, right? Not the boss ass bitches that you guys are. Right? Because it's a. There's a business to it, you know, but in the book, you guys talk about your. Your foundation, like, school, your old jobs. Like, do you still hold on to that to any degree, to feel like that helped you in this endeavor in this industry? Because you both were in corporate. You both were, you know, in something totally different. You do talk about that part of your journey where you guys were at work and you were changing clothes, you know, like all of that. You even, I think, mentioned it on the Breakfast Club this morning, you know, so do you guys want to hold.

[Weezy]

On to that part of you and.

[Cuddy]

Still say, like, that propelled me that, you know, like, that helped. That was a foundational piece of what's happening right now. Did it help? Did it. Does it not matter? Is it totally separate with my credit.

[Unknown]

Score that just dropped? Neil Nails in my financial aid. I hate that. You know, like, I'm not technically. Technically using my degrees. Yeah, you are, but. So that's what I was gonna say. Technically, I'm not in a corporate space that, you know, I got because of my degrees. However, I don't think the PO like the podcast is here. I'm able to look at it the way I am without the lens. From the things that I learned in school and from working in A corporate setting.

[Cuddy]

If you weren't an accountant, you wouldn't have been getting paid the way that you were.

[Unknown]

Yes, because, well, girl, I'm a bartender. Bartenders made a lot of money back in the day. When the scammers are scamming, they not doing it no more. But for me too, like even the organizational aspect of it, the deadline aspect, like, you know, I come hard off these Excel sheets, that's what I make them for everything. And so I don't think, I don't think I care about a pivot table or how pretty an Excel sheet is if I don't go through that element. And so to me, see the organizational aspects of it and how it makes things easier for me to see. I love that I was able to transport that into being an entrepreneur. Right. I think being a first generation college graduate in my family, no one in my family is an entrepreneur. No one in my family has a savings account. No one in my family had the opportunities that I've had now to travel. I, I, I made my mom get a passport so I could take her to Greece. Guess where we had to go in 2019 because she didn't have a passport to Puerto Rico. My mom is 50 plus now and I literally am like, I'd like to get you to see the world. And so like my family being, being very homegrown, Orlando, Jamaica, like, they just, they don't really get out. Like for me to have that opportunity to do this, I don't think I do that without going to college. College. And so for me, constantly, for anyone who goes all the way back to that, like, whether you're using your degree or not, it's still one of the things that I'm most proud of because I was disciplined enough to complete it. But I don't think that how I've been able to manage as an entrepreneur for the last six years exists without that. So none of this for me exists for me without that. And so I still give credence. I love to talk about when I was in corporate and when I was in school, like, I always love bringing it back up because it's something that I'm still most proud of.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

And you, oh, girl, I love when somebody bring up, well, that was the bitch. They used to work at T Mobile.

[Unknown]

Indeed.

[Weezy]

I'm very proud of where I've come from. Like just my dad was an entrepreneur and it's interesting because I always felt like they were never that proud of me. Well, I was in college, I grow up now, but I always Felt like that wasn't the most exciting part. And so when he got to see me do this in my life, not to mention just even the financial freedom that Mandy and I got to feel when leaving our jobs, I just got to see that happen with two friends after starting Trap House, like, pride in our parents coming to our new space, you know, And. And that wasn't my first business. I started. I started Shout out to the other Alex, WTF Media. And knowing that, like, I got to be in this seller mode. When I was in corporate, I was a seller constantly, Right. I was selling everything from Ethernet. I can't even spell it. Ethernet data recovery software. And it was like, people would look at me like, why is she selling that? Cause I can fucking sell anything. And so now, today, to know that all of the things that we've accomplished come from horrible. It's crazy, you know, to be in a workout and there's someone that's like, oh, my God, let's talk. You know, someone just told me just now, Jody over there just said something about it, and like. Like, Mandy and I will be out somewhere, and then someone's coming to her about her show. Like, it's just crazy that we are all connected from this thing. So I think that our corporate background isn't something even that I think about, because I now look at us as entrepreneurs as a different way. And all I think about is horrible. I almost forgot I had a corporate job. All I remember is horrible. When I start the new job, okay, there's not a thing I'm gonna do in my life. I could start a church and be a bitch. Is like, girl, we home.

[Unknown]

Still.

[Weezy]

At the time, the horrible feels like now that it's been almost a decade, my first job, it's so crazy.

[Unknown]

Okay?

[Weezy]

So I almost treat new things in this corporate setting and being professional, like, it's horrible decisions. I don't have a meeting I'm in where I don't say something a little bit dirty.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

Because this is. This is not work. You know what I'm saying? It's like, I really love where we're at. And so you ever had sex on a reform.

[Unknown]

No, no, no, no. By the way, y', all, you don't understand how serious she is. Especially when she's another country. It'll be 13 people on the phone execs. Sorry, guys. I was doing blow last night, brought a girl to the room. It'll be a corporate fucking call. And she's talking about how she just had a threesome last night. Introduction Is that Manic?

[Weezy]

Got the deal done. He had this book and kb.

[Unknown]

I did a on it.

[Weezy]

No, like on some real. When I was working at Audible, they said, oh, do you want us to make your email give somebody. Don't put wheezy at Audible. I don't give a. This. This is how me now. Like, there's no faking it. Like, it's just me. I be saying, hey, y' all in the emails. I just. I feel like this is the most natural state that I wanted. And the only thing I think corporate really taught me was that. That everything at the end of the day is about authenticity.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

Like, you know, it was different because I know you were an accountant. So for me, I was front facing with clients all the time. Sometimes I'd be like, nice to meet you, sir. And I'd be like, damn, it's nice. Still got the shit done. I love being myself and just knowing that we made this book, just being honest. It's fucking crazy. So, okay, take the.

[Cuddy]

Congratulations.

[Unknown]

Thank you. By the way, we have to learn that this was only supposed to be.

[Cuddy]

A 30 minute fucking conversation.

[Unknown]

It was a goddamn hour bitch. We just kept going. I do want to leave time for Q and A. Next time we gonna have a timer. Look at me, I'm like, oh, y'.

[Mandy]

All.

[Unknown]

I've been over here looking at the time like, okay, we still gotta sign books, but I do wanna allow at least time for like three questions. We love Q and A. We love Home Out. We love that y' all chose to sit in the basement with us and talk and, well, listen to us talk about. About a book that meant so much for us.

[Weezy]

Y'.

[Cuddy]

All.

[Weezy]

We gonna talk about this, y', all on the town hall.

[Unknown]

We gonna talk about it. See y' all on the town hall next Monday. Does anybody have a question? I'm glad I didn't wear that goddamn thing.

[Weezy]

You read the book. Please, Lee, tell us.

[Unknown]

Do we. Come on, Lee, give us a question.

[Weezy]

Come on, Lee.

[Unknown]

Come on, Lee.

[I]

Well, it wasn't specific to, I guess, the content of the book per se, but I first just want to say congrats on the book.

[Unknown]

Thank you.

[I]

I hope you guys guys really have a moment to really take it in because it is no small feat. But I'm curious more so around what you guys learned about each other through this process because there are a lot of, obviously your individual stories, but like you said, I think from just a listener perspective, we get one version of you that we're seeing and gotten used to. But I feel Like, I learned so much about even stories that I already.

[Cuddy]

Heard.

[I]

In more detail and just in different kind of versions of yourself. So my question is, you two have known each other for what, almost two decades now? Through this.

[Cuddy]

20 years, yeah, it's long.

[Unknown]

I just did the math. Okay.

[I]

Was there anything, I guess, specifically that surprised you in each other's chapters? What did you learn about each other in this process?

[Unknown]

I mean, for me, and this maybe comes from my upbringing and how I judged, not judged, but there was nothing else that I wanted growing up than money. I started working at 15. Once I got to high school, I paid for school supplies and back to school things for me and my siblings. And I used to always think that money would have made growing up so much easier. And so Weezy, during our even teenage years, lived on a different side of town than most of my friends and had a life that I was like, oh, my God, bitch, you got a whole movie theater in your house. And when we got to writing the book and I put those things in there, she shied away from those things. When we had her mom on our most recent Patreon episode, it was interesting because her mom was like, yeah, girl, I spent 40,000 on birthday parties. And you could see the pride in growing up with those financial, like, things. And so for me, it was surprising that Weezy didn't really want to drive the Jaguar to high school, that she didn't want to talk about growing up in a certain way. Even though, like, things changed as she got older with that financials. I was like, oh, bitch, there's nothing in the world I want more than nepotism. Right? I had to get too late for that. It's too late for that. And so for me, a part that I learned was like, damn, there can be shame in growing up. Up with things that I would have killed for. Even just two parents. Like, I didn't grow up with two parents I didn't like. Me and my sisters rotated who shared rooms with my younger sister. Like, there were just different things. And so when we wrote this book and I leaned into that, I was surprised that there wasn't pride in having that style of an upbringing because I thought, like, bitch, that's what we all want to like. Like, I would have liked, been able to go to more field trips or my dad to be able to, like, like me not having to go ask my dad for shit. So that was just, I think, surprising that there could be shame in that type of lifestyle and. And privilege. To me, that's what I Learned.

[Weezy]

I. I want to talk about that on the pod more, because for me, it was more so. You know, I was watching my parents lose money in real time. So as a kid, I'm just like, oh, I know that the mortgage hasn't been paid. I know that people come over. I know that there's foreclosure. Like. Like, as a teenager, in that point where I could be pride. Prideful. How I would say the thing I learned the most is probably healing in real time. There were stories that you were telling. You know, we're on the podcast. Telling each other stories, Kiki. And the more that I would read stories, especially, you know, talking about sex for money. And it's even hard to say that, because I know you don't even really want to talk about that in press. But you brought it up first.

[Unknown]

I was bringing it up, like, in a room like this. But I ain't going on Breakfast Club. Like, yeah, I understand. Busted it open for some money.

[Weezy]

When Mandy was talking about the way she felt reading, it was making me feel really sad because my chapter was different. I'm like, sugar daddy, right?

[Cuddy]

I'm like. I was like, fuck.

[Weezy]

And then you read it back and forth. But at the end of the day, that's kind of the beauty of these stories. It's like. Like you can see two different experiences. And so, yeah, to answer the question fully, with Mandy's chapters, the healing in real time was happening while hearing the stories. Like, maybe that little bit of shame was back there. But we are on a show where we gotta be liberated for everybody. So we gotta tell this with a smile on our face. So it was that. It was knowing that she had to come to these realizations sitting next to me every week on the mic. Like, that shit isn't easy. Crazy. It's like when you find out someone that you work with is going through a really hard time, you're like, what the fuck? How you be in here smiling? You know, it's therapy. Yeah.

[Unknown]

And vodka.

[Weezy]

Yes.

[Unknown]

We'll do one more question. Because I know we gotta sign these books. First off, you was asking questions in the middle.

[Weezy]

Interrupted.

[Unknown]

I interrupted. I do. If you don't mind, if there's any more. You will get it. You'll get the last question. Cause you was in the conversation up here in the front seat. Do we have. Cause I know we got some Warhive members in here. What's up, Noemi? What up, girl? Do we have any in the back at all? I know, like, y' all just got the books Today. All right.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Our first day. Listening.

[Weezy]

Out of everything that I heard, what was the turning point for y'? All to fully be your authentic self. Fully.

[Unknown]

So it's funny, because when we started this podcast, and I've said this before, I was about to be a cpa. My dad is Jamaican, and so as a bartender working in the clubs and all that, he used to always say, when you're going to get a real job, it was always about getting a real job.

[Weezy]

I'm Jamaican, too.

[Unknown]

Yeah. So he does construction. Blue collar. My mom is an LPN and still trying to pass these math classes to get an rn. And so for me, it was when we first started this pod, I was like, yeah, I don't mind sharing this. I tweeted, I live this life. I don't mind. But if it don't make no money, I'm about to be an accountant, because I want to be taken serious. I want to be a wife. If y' all hear me talk about 24 7, I remember, like, oh, he a rapper. I can't bring him to my Christmas parties. When I become an accountant, I need to get a lawyer. Like, I had this view, this traditional view of what life should look like when I get into certain spaces in my life. And so it wasn't really until, honestly, probably, we started touring. And as we started touring and we started meeting y', all, my stories changing people, my stories making people cry or get through the things that they were going through. And I told this to Charlamagne in the south of France in front of everybody, and I was like, she had.

[Weezy]

Thank you for giving me that French review.

[Unknown]

We were, you know, in the south of France, and I said, thank you for being my baby daddy, because this book is a baby. But I told him, I said, without the push and support from him, I don't know what my purpose is. And my purpose is now this. My purpose is now being able to touch people with my stories and my vulnerability. Whether it keeps a nigga from dating me or not, I'm on the front line for y'. All. To me, it wasn't until I realized this is a bigger picture than me. We say that that's why this pod is still here. That's why we have a book we don't fault quite a bit. We might not always see the same things all the time, but whenever we really get to where it's like, ah, ah, ah, it's always like, this shit is bigger than both of us. And, like, when we meet you guys, when we see People buying our book. This is where I was like, fuck it. Yep, I did it.

[Cuddy]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Not OJ Style, but I did it. It's here. It exists. I am me, and I don't feel like I have that without meeting our. Our. Our hive.

[Weezy]

Okay, sorry. I know y' all are hot. I'm gonna try to make mine quick. I would say there's a moment I had, and I know a lot of us may never get approval for from our parents or our family, especially the queer people in here. Like, they just always going through some shit. They don't get us. But I had a moment that let me know this is her accepting me. I don't give a fuck about anyone else. I have scissors. My ex girlfriend, I brought her to my mom's house, and she knew it was my girlfriend, but she just was like, whatever. She just eating pussy today. This will be over with soon. So we go out to eat, and we run into a girl, her mother, from high school. And this was the cool girl, super rich, like, just it. And my mom was like, why does she look so familiar? I'm like, oh, that's Rossi's mom. And so she says, how's Rossi doing? And the woman said, rossi's a doctor, and she's working at blah, blah, blah, blah and all this shit. And I'm sitting there with my girlfriend. And my mom goes, well, Gila has a sex podcast, and everybody listens to it. It's so good. I mean, it's everywhere. And she's all over the place. That's her girlfriend, anyway. She's watch it on TV.

[Unknown]

On the YouTube. On the YouTube. I'm a podcaster.

[Weezy]

I am not a doctor. And my mom's like, my daughter's better than yours. And that mom is like, why do I give a about anybody else? Now, my father and y' all not. Y' all know, because I've opened up about it. He lives in a nursing home. He literally tells people, you know, my daughter, she's like, Dr. Ruth. She talks about baby. She talk about the same sex. And the others are sex. Tell them you. And I'm like, what the. It's just my reality. And at the end of the day, I take care of my parents with this money. So sucking dick story safe.

[Unknown]

We wouldn't have been here.

[Weezy]

Thank you, Patty. It's very special.

[Unknown]

Thank you, guys. And we will make sure for anyone's book that we have not signed. Because also, this is a work night, school night, all the things y' all gotta get home. And I want to eat. But we want to make sure that we sign Yalls books. And thank you guys personally for coming out to the basement to join us in a heat wave on a Tuesday. But most importantly, on the release date of this goddamn book.

[Mandy]

Remember the Bad Guys.

[Weezy]

Ha.

[Mandy]

They are back. Yeah, and they're funnier than ever. And my family is so excited because DreamWorks animations the Bad Guys 2 is just going to be the wildest, funniest comedy of the summer. You know, it's everyone's favorite crew of criminals. They're trying their best to go good until they're roped into a globe trotting heist by a new crew. The Bad Girls. That's right. The girls are going to meet the guys. It's going to be amazing. Amazing. Your kids, your parents, everybody's going to love this. So make sure you get your tickets now for DreamWorks animations. The Bad Guys 2. In theaters August 1st. Rated PG.

[Unknown]

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[Weezy]

This is an iHeart podcast.