EP 420: Finding Love....Again! (Ft. Tank)

Summary

Episode Summary: Decisions, Decisions – EP 420: Finding Love....Again! (Ft. Tank)
Released on May 12, 2025

Hosts: Mandii B and WeezyWTF
Guest: Tank

---

1. Broadway and Live Theater Insights

The episode kicks off with an engaging discussion about the intricacies of live theater, particularly focusing on Broadway. Tank shares his firsthand experience performing in "Hell's Kitchen" on Broadway, highlighting the high standards and unique challenges faced in live performances.

• Tank (04:13): "The allure to be a good singer to me, is having that, like, sexual energy, having that natural just. I don't know. I don't even want to call it flirting."

Mandii emphasizes the importance of professionalism and the relentless pursuit of excellence on Broadway, describing it as the "pinnacle" of theater.

• Mandii B (08:29): "Broadway is the pinnacle. You know what I mean? When you get to Broadway, this is what theater is."

Tank delves into the culture of Broadway, explaining how it operates as its own world with established "Broadway royalty."

• Tank (09:10): "Describe a little bit, like, the Broadway culture... what's the vibe when you walk in the door?"

Mandii highlights the significance of communication and adaptability during live performances, recounting a memorable mishap on stage where she had to improvise gracefully when technical issues arose.

• Mandii B (11:05): "Everything malfunctioned and we still had to deliver the scene... people were crying."

2. Evolution of R&B: Old vs. New

Transitioning from theater, the conversation shifts to the evolution of R&B music. Tank poses a critical question about the reception of new school R&B artists compared to the legends like Luther Vandross and Marvin Gaye.

• Tank (20:34): "Here's my R and B question... when it comes to new school R and B, is it easy to hate on it or can you appreciate the new art?"

Mandii defends the progression of R&B, asserting that the genre is not stagnant but rather evolving to incorporate contemporary influences like trap music.

• Mandii B (21:06): "It's not a new genre. It's just more kids are doing it, more kids are. They respond to it and feel it better."

She also touches upon her contributions to the genre, mentioning her work with Usher and the foundational elements they helped establish in modern R&B.

3. Sexuality and Communication in Relationships

A significant portion of the episode delves into the complexities of sexuality, particularly within the Black community. Mandii shares an excerpt from her book, "No Holds Barred," where she reflects on her past misconceptions about anal sex and how education and open conversations have transformed her understanding.

• Mandii B (35:40): "When I first started... I thought of anal sex as something that only gay men did."

The hosts discuss the importance of breaking down homophobic barriers and fostering environments where open dialogue about sexuality is encouraged and normalized.

• Mandii B (36:16): "It's about being open to conversations... to discredit or downgrade their existence is not fair."

4. Personal Relationship Experiences: Taking a Break and Reuniting

Mandii opens up about her long-term relationship with her wife, detailing the dynamics of taking a six-year break and subsequently finding their way back to each other. She emphasizes the role of maturity, communication, and mutual respect in rekindling their relationship.

• Mandii B (52:24): "We just started... we truly became friends."

Weezy probes into the emotional journey of forgiveness and rebuilding trust after significant relationship strains.

• Weezy (53:06): "When we argue, it's usually because of miscommunication."

5. Maintaining Boundaries in the Entertainment Industry

The conversation pivots to the challenges of maintaining fidelity and setting boundaries within the entertainment sector, where temptations are rife due to fame and constant public attention.

• Tank (55:49): "Is it almost inevitably hard to avoid it?"

Mandii advises listeners on the importance of personal accountability and finding one's tribe to navigate these challenges effectively.

• Mandii B (45:30): "Finding your tribe is all that matters."

6. Spicing Up Relationships: Role-Playing and Intimacy

Exploring the lighter side of relationships, the hosts discuss creative ways to keep intimacy alive, including role-playing and introducing playful elements into their romantic lives.

• Weezy (29:38): "So this one's gonna be fun. When we bring food into the bedroom to spice things up."

Mandii shares her preference for simplicity in romantic gestures, appreciating the natural allure without overcomplicating things.

• Mandii B (32:15): "I'm so still aroused and amused by the simple things."

7. Conclusion: Highlights and Takeaways

As the episode wraps up, Mandii and Weezy reflect on the depth of conversations they've had, emphasizing the importance of honesty, communication, and continuous growth both personally and within relationships.

• Mandii B (47:53): "Everything for me is grace."

Tank ties it all together by encouraging listeners to be true to themselves and to navigate relationships with integrity and respect.

• Tank (46:07): "Buckle up, young rich fella. Do it how you would like to do it."

---

Notable Quotes

• Tank (20:34): "When it comes to new school R and B, is it easy to hate on it or can you appreciate the new art?"

• Mandii B (35:40): "When I first started... I thought of anal sex as something that only gay men did."

• Mandii B (52:24): "We just started... we truly became friends."

• Mandii B (47:53): "Everything for me is grace."

---

Key Takeaways

• Adaptability in Performance: Live theater, especially Broadway, demands high adaptability and seamless performance, with no room for errors.

• Evolution of R&B: The R&B genre is continually evolving, influenced by contemporary sounds like trap, and should be appreciated in its current form while honoring its roots.

• Open Conversations About Sexuality: Breaking down homophobic barriers within the Black community is essential for healthy sexual exploration and self-acceptance.

• Rebuilding Relationships: Taking breaks and fostering genuine friendship can lead to stronger, more resilient relationships upon reuniting.

• Setting Boundaries in Fame: Maintaining personal integrity and setting clear boundaries is crucial in the entertainment industry to preserve relationships and personal well-being.

• Keeping Intimacy Alive: Simple, genuine gestures often hold more weight in maintaining intimacy than grand, elaborate acts.

---

Join the Conversation!
To further explore the topics discussed in this episode, visit the Decisions, Decisions community on Patreon and engage with fellow listeners.

---

This summary captures the essence of EP 420: "Finding Love....Again! (Ft. Tank)" from the Decisions, Decisions podcast, providing insights into live theater, the evolution of R&B, sexuality, relationship dynamics, and maintaining intimacy. Notable quotes and timestamps highlight key moments from the discussion.

Transcript

[Mandy B]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast.

[Weezy]

All right, guys, taking a break to put you on to a new series on Netflix. Inspired by Judy Blume's groundbreaking 1975 novel Forever. Watch the reimagined coming of age series about young love by Mara Brock Akil, the iconic creator of Girlfriends. This epic love story follows two black teens, Keisha and Justin, as they explore romance and their identities through the awkward journey of being each other's first loves, first arguments, first heartbreak, everything. Make sure you watch Forever. Now playing on Netflix. Hey guys, you need to check legends.com today. Legends is a free to play social casino and sportsbook with all of the games that you love. They have hundreds of slots, a full sports book, and even have live dealers for table games. That's L E G E N D Z Com. The best part is you get free coins to play with every day and redemption to your bank account is instant. And new players get an exclusive welcome bonus. You can join thousands of players on legends with a Z.com today. No purchase necessary. Legends International void. We're prohibited by law 18. Terms and conditions do apply. Join thousands of players on legendswithaz.com today.

[Unknown]

It's true that some things change as we get older. But if you're a woman over 40 and you're dealing with insomnia, brain fog, moodiness and weight gain, you don't have to accept it as just another part of aging. And with MIDI Health, you can get help and stop pushing through it alone. The experts at MITI understand that all these symptoms can be connected to the hormonal changes that happen around menopause. And MITI can help you feel more like yourself again. Many healthcare providers aren't trained to treat or even recognize menopause symptoms. MITI clinicians are menopause experts. They're dedicated to providing safe, effective, FDA approved solutions for dozens of hormonal symptoms, not just hot flashes. Most importantly, they're covered by insurance. 91% of MITI patients get relief from symptoms within just two months. You deserve to feel great. Book your virtual visit [e-mail] that's join M I D I.com welcome to Decisions Decisions.

[Weezy]

I don't think you should say Decisions decisions. It sounded like you was talking. It cursed him.

[Tank]

You definitely say the welcome.

[Weezy]

Welcome to the new podcast.

[Tank]

Oh wait, you want to say it together? Decisions, Decisions. Hey guys.

[Mandy B]

Girl.

[Weezy]

Welcome to another episode of Decisions Decisions.

[Tank]

You know we gotta guess who. Fine. Cause we be doing different shit. Let us have somebody who we just don't care about. Oh welcome back, everybody. Now this hoe got a moment.

[Weezy]

I'm your girl, Mandy B. I'm Weezy.

[Tank]

And it's a threesome today.

[Weezy]

That's right. We are joined by. We could call them a cousin so we not doing incest. So technically it's not that. Our black fam. How far removed a cousin removed? All right, girl.

[Tank]

Like a marriage cousin or like distant.

[Mandy B]

Country cousin at the cookout that you ain't know was.

[Tank]

I tell you right now, when I went to my family reunion, it was like, oh, that's the one with the white daddy.

[Weezy]

I was like, oh, y' all, we have singer, songwriter, Broadway star, tank in the motherfucking building.

[Tank]

Is it required when you're a musician to wear shirts like that? Like, why do sick niggas? It's always just. You gotta see it a little bit.

[Mandy B]

The little bumps in the arms, if you have it.

[Weezy]

Ooh, don't come on here. Even the little squinty eyes. We just need you to be regular with us.

[Mandy B]

That's not my fault.

[Weezy]

Oh. Cause it's looking, like, smiling to us.

[Mandy B]

I'm not trying to smolder.

[Tank]

That's just when people ask you, do you be like, yeah, I'm a tenth Asian.

[Mandy B]

I wake. I wake up smoldering. You know what I mean? I feel like I am.

[Tank]

I think the energy, though, is beautiful because, like, we're making fun of it. But it is also the allure to be a good singer to me, is having that, like, sexual energy, having that natural just. I don't know. I don't even want to call it flirting, but it's almost like the attentiveness.

[Weezy]

Oh, I'm not going to lie. It's what I said is wrong with R and B today. Like, they be talking about, like, some fuck nigga shit, but they're ugly. Like, they're not attractive enough to be saying the things they're saying. And I'm not saying names. I'm just saying that, to me, is what is a little bit wrong with male R and B today? Like, where is the fine ones at?

[Mandy B]

You know what? And to that, I can say it's very subjective in terms of what you think is attractive or not.

[Tank]

Was Luther fine back in his day?

[Weezy]

He looked. I think he was.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Girl, stop it.

[Mandy B]

Stop the cat.

[Weezy]

Okay, okay. Now I'm just trying to be nice.

[Tank]

He was a handsome man, but he wasn't.

[Mandy B]

But you know what?

[Weezy]

Because, Rip, we're not allowed to call people that ain't here no more.

[Mandy B]

But think about this, though. It wasn't necessarily like. It wasn't necessarily like if they were lookers, just like, you know, just without anything. Right, right. But the presentation overall, like, when you saw what Luther had on, when you saw what Martin, what Marvin had on, when you saw what the Temptations had on.

[Tank]

I ain't gonna lie, I had a fuck, Barry.

[Mandy B]

The way they walked it and talked it. You know what I'm saying? It was like this. Oh, there's something there that is attractive. It doesn't necessarily have to be that you are physically attractive. But let's get into this word. Aura, right? The aura, your energy. You know what I'm saying? There are things that are attractive, and these things are curated.

[Tank]

What women do you think have it that are like. We can call it out. Like, who has that aura? That's a singer, entertainer, period. Like, who do you think has it? Cause to me, Alicia, one of them. Lecia could wear cargo jeans and a stud fit. And we like, what? It's goddess energy. It's crazy.

[Mandy B]

You know what? I always refrain from speaking on women who have husbands.

[Weezy]

Oh, there we go. Talk your shit. I'm respectful.

[Mandy B]

I stay out of that.

[Tank]

But we all know Alicia has the aura. It actually Swizz does too.

[Mandy B]

Alicia's had it since day one, Right?

[Weezy]

Speaking of Alicia.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Weezy]

And speaking of aura. She brought up singing, but I got to see you live. Hell's Kitchen on Broadway. Loosely based around Alicia Keys story. And before you said a word. Is this a normal reaction, too? Before you said a word, before you did a. Hmm. The aunties in the crowd was like.

[Tank]

Whoa, honey, was your shirt off?

[Weezy]

No, no, girl. Fully clothed. He walked on stage with little squinty eyes and just went like this.

[Mandy B]

I did not do that.

[Weezy]

You did. I said they were open. You walked on stage.

[Mandy B]

I rolled the piano on stage. I did not squint my eyes. While I was rolling the piano.

[Weezy]

While he was rolling the piano, he was like. And when I say. He didn't say a word. And the girls in the audience was just like, woo. Then he started singing. I do want to say, y' all, I know I've been talking about going to Broadway shows. Um, I've been gassing for weeks going to see Othello. You told us during the Black Effect Fest that you were on Broadway. I hadn't known Hell's Kitchen, y' all. Where's my camera? By far, probably the best. I've never cried on Broadway until I saw this show.

[Tank]

By the way, the girl went to see Othello the day before and still Was gassing Hell's Kitchen.

[Weezy]

No. So I say over Othello take on Liao. I loved it. Let me tell you, though, real quick.

[Unknown]

So.

[Weezy]

So when I see him at the Black Effect Fest, I said, oh, you on Broadway. And he's like, I'm one of the best Broadway stars. I said, you know, Denzel on it. And so I went to see Othello, went to see Hell's Kitchen, and, y' all, I bawled four times. I went with our writer, Tempest. I went with my. My good friend Britt. I looked up. All you hear from behind us, in.

[Mandy B]

Front of us is just one of those.

[Weezy]

The white people stood up. Hold on. White people stood up and said, that was. That was magnificent.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

So it's not like.

[Tank]

And what did you say? What word did you use?

[Weezy]

I said, that was good as fuck. And I'm glad we was all crying together. It was so good. I do want to know, how is it different? Because I'm so glad you're here today because you be using them vocals. How is it different from touring? And. And have you acted before? Like, how has Broadway been different for you than anything else you've done?

[Mandy B]

I've done theater before, okay? It was traveling theater, and thank God I've done that before. It kind of helped prepare me for this. But Broadway is the pinnacle. You know what I mean? When you get to Broadway, this is what theater is. This is Schubert. Schubert Theater on 44th. This is where, you know, you are made or broken. And the critique is a lot different. The excellence that is required, a lot different. The people, the talent on Broadway is different, like, than an actor. You mean all of it.

[Tank]

Describe a little bit, like, the Broadway culture, because for most of us, we go to New York on a trip, we go on to day tics. We just figuring out what we gonna see, right? But the culture of the people that actually go, like, what's the vibe when you walk in the door?

[Mandy B]

Well, Broadway is its own. Its own world, right? And so, like, our. We have an OG with us, Keisha Lewis, who's been doing Broadway for 40 years, Tony Award winner.

[Weezy]

That's the one that made. She made me cry.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Weezy]

She was the first one to make me cry.

[Mandy B]

You can tell that she is Broadway royalty and that it is not a game.

[Tank]

Who do you tell from. Is it the. Like, when people come out? Is it your colleagues? Like, what is the energy of Broadway royalty?

[Mandy B]

What do you mean, what is the energy?

[Tank]

Is it basically, when she goes out in the crowd, people know exactly who she Is. Is it the staff? Everybody's just like, whatever you want to do?

[Mandy B]

Well, no, it's. Let me say, it's universal, right? For the people who know Broadway, they know her. And that's from people who attend Broadway shows as well as people who book Broadway shows, who direct Broadway shows, who. Like, she's on the Rolodex of. If you can get her, you get her.

[Tank]

When it comes to one thing, I've always wondered, too. When you're doing Broadway, ain't no cut, you know what I'm saying? For that Hennessy video Cut.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, there's no do over.

[Tank]

Do you improv? Do you forget, like, what happens? What is a real moment that you've had on stage when you, like, what are you.

[Mandy B]

You have to be able to improv. Cause things happen in live theater. You know what I mean? And so, you know, we had a mishap where the piano is supposed to turn in a certain way. I don't remember. I think you remember the scene. But I don't want to give too much away.

[Weezy]

Oh, I wasn't gonna give any of the scenes away, but.

[Mandy B]

Everything malfunctioned and we still had to deliver the scene. And sometimes, you know, it's a lot of silly people on Broadway, I'm silly. Like, I'm a goofball. And a lot of our crew, a lot of our cast is goofballs, too. Like, really talented, but we're goofballs, right? And when this thing malfunctioned, and the way I had to come out and try to still deliver these lines, people were crying. Like, the cast is crying.

[Tank]

Wait. But the audience wasn't laughing. They didn't know it was going to happen.

[Mandy B]

They didn't know.

[Weezy]

The audience don't know.

[Tank]

That's such a funny light.

[Mandy B]

And I. The light is on me. I have to stay in it. It's like, it's a very serious moment, and I have 12 cast members dying, laughing. Were you spinning around while I'm trying? And then it starts spinning out of nowhere.

[Weezy]

Oh, no.

[Mandy B]

And I have to get my toes on the turnabout to turn with it while still, like, y' all gotta do.

[Weezy]

What Key and Peele told the actors. Like, if it's too funny, you just need to turn around. Don't laugh. You have to turn around until you get your composure back. Now, when you read the script of this, because you play a deadbeat dad, essentially. Okay, wait, you do trying. Yeah, that's what my daddy say, too. All these years later, he's trying. He's trying to. When you read the script, did you realize it would evoke so much emotion? Cause it's essentially without giving the whole story away. What I love is through music, through just really the character development. That happens fast too. You really get to see who the people are. There's a love story between young Alicia and her mom, her first crush, then her dad.

[Tank]

Did you count too much?

[Weezy]

No, no, no. It's all these different stories. I'm not giving any scenes away.

[Tank]

It's.

[Weezy]

It's a 17 year old girl.

[Tank]

I didn't know it was Alicia's story.

[Weezy]

Battling all of these relationships. And that's why I thought it was so phenomenal because the character development between her love of New York, her love of the people in her building, and then you have all of these other relationships that take place while she's learning the piano. And I'm not sure if that's like the real part, however it fit in. I was just like, wow, this is magnificent. When you see the script though, was there anything that you had to look up or any movies that inspired how you would show up as a fuck nigga on stage? Cause you did it so well. You did it so well.

[Tank]

Did you do a different accent? Did you have sex?

[Weezy]

Oh, no. You should have seen. He just played that a little too good.

[Mandy B]

The way you said all of those eloquent things and then the question, fuck, Nick, that was so good.

[Weezy]

We're from Florida.

[Mandy B]

That was really. It's really good.

[Weezy]

I didn't go to journalism school. Okay.

[Mandy B]

I like that a lot. I got sides first.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

And so when you get sides, what is that? It's not the piece of the script that you're going to read to audition for.

[Weezy]

Okay?

[Mandy B]

So I got sides first. And I was like, okay, sides only give you but so much context.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

You know what I'm saying? Instead of having the full script.

[Weezy]

Right.

[Mandy B]

So for me it was like, okay, I got these sides. Not even sure about doing Broadway, period. But it's the Alicia Keys call. I have to answer that. And so I said, how about we just go see it first as opposed to shooting in the dark? Because that's what you can do a lot of times when you're auditioning and you just get sides. Oh, you're shooting in the dark and you're so far away from the actual character.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

And what they want, like, you're just, you're just. And then your whole audition is about correction rather than, you know, adjusting good choices.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

And so I went and saw it first okay. The day before my audition, I said, oh, that's what that is.

[Weezy]

Uh huh.

[Mandy B]

Got it. And you know, I didn't have to go see anything because, you know, you know, unfortunately I do have a divorce and I do have, you know, I do have young ladies, my first two girls who are part of that.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

And unfortunately, you know, with them, you know, living 3,000 miles away and all of these things that, you know, just over time, I have been part of things where I have been a disappointment to my daughters. And I've had to feel that, I've had to own that. So I know what that is. I know what that is. On missing some birthdays, I know what it is. On missing big moments, I know what that is. I've been through it. And so even now, still trying to, you know, repair that damage or do whatever I can do as a father now to just be there. And when moments when I wasn't, that's. I drew from me, you know, so it was very easy to step into. It was.

[Tank]

I'm gonna tell you, Nick Cannon could play the shit out of this world.

[Weezy]

I thought it was very easy to be up.

[Mandy B]

I would use those words. But yeah, I mean, if you wanna.

[Weezy]

All right, guys, Taking a break to put you on to a new series on Netflix. Inspired by Judy Blume's groundbreaking 1975 novel Forever. Watch the reimagined coming of age series about young love by Mara Brock Akil, the iconic creator of Girlfriends. This epic love story follows two black teens, Keisha and Justin, as they explore romance and their identities through the awkward journey of being each other's first. First loves, first arguments, first heartbreak, everything. Make sure you watch Forever now playing on Netflix.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest. Life comes at you fast, which is why it's important to find some time to relax a little. You time. Enter Chumba Casino. With no download required. You can jump on anytime, anywhere for the chance to redeem some serious prizes. So treat yourself with Chumba Casino and play over 100 online casino style games, all for free. Go to Chumbacasino.com to collect your free welcome bonus. Sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Mandy B]

No purchase necessary. BGW Group void where prohibited by law 21 terms and conditions apply.

[Unknown]

You know that feeling when you're about to score 30% off. But they want your number.

[Tank]

Ugh.

[Unknown]

Give them your line 2 number instead. It's a second line on your phone. Perfect for nabbing promo codes without inviting spam to your party. Sign up for every discount under the sun, then block the Junk texts that follow. You get all the perks, but none of the spammy baggage. More codes, less chaos. Visit lineto.comaudio or download line 2 in the app Store and get your shopping sidekick today. Because the only thing blowing up your phone should be good deals.

[Tank]

You know, outside of the Broadway, something I've always been curious about is kind of just the pivot of entertainers as they get older. When I saw that R and B money was on Black Effect, I was like, wow, can you tell me, like, you start off with this life, you're known for this thing, and then maybe it's not your everyday anymore. What does the pivot look like when you sign up to do a podcast? You like, oh, my God, I must be taking an L. Like, that's how everybody treats the evolution of the next job.

[Mandy B]

What does it feel like? No, no, no. Nobody asked us to do a podcast. I was like, I'm watching. You know, I'm watching the terrain, and I'm watching, oh, calm down.

[Weezy]

There's no gunshot.

[Mandy B]

I'm watching all of these cool conversations ramp up about so many things. You know what I mean? So many great personalities. And I was like, man, we need that for R and B. Like, for me, it was creating something out of Anita. Oh, I was hot. Like, in terms of Tank. Yeah, I'm still hot.

[Weezy]

I'm him.

[Tank]

We know you still hot.

[Mandy B]

There was no decline to make me reach for something different. For me, it was adding to cause.

[Tank]

You know, that's the thing.

[Weezy]

But the thing that you were like, a part of, like, Aaliyah's career. Genuine. And I know you ended up having the group later with him. Like, you've been a part of R and B since my ass was in diapers. Not to age you.

[Mandy B]

No, no, it's fine.

[Weezy]

But, like, you've had such a long standing career and you still do it.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, but my conversa. So my point was to even starting. It was before anybody else gets ahold of this conversation that don't know it and haven't lived it. Jay, why don't we do it?

[Tank]

How do you feel then? When you watch people talk about music, music, podcasts, culture, commentators. Do you think it is better for someone that's in it 100%, which is.

[Mandy B]

Why you see NFL Network now hiring football players. You see ESPN hiring the basketball players and debate, like, hiring people who actually understand what it takes to do it.

[Tank]

That's actually my.

[Mandy B]

Easy to take from the sidelines.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Tank]

My reasoning, sometimes when people say, why our show over others, I'M like, yeah, y' all understand we're actually ethically non monogamous girls. We're bisexual women. We've done all these things we talk about and saying instead of just commenting on other people's sex lives or trends. And I really love content direct from the source.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Tank]

Okay, here's my R and B question I need to ask out of the new school R and B guys. So, like, I'm someone that listens to Minnie Riverton, Luther and Brent Faez and love them all and actually might play them all in rotation. So when it comes to new school R and B, is it easy to hate on it or can you appreciate the new art? Who do you like? What are your thoughts about the new vibe of R and B?

[Mandy B]

Like, you gotta remember that I help Usher that in. You know what I mean?

[Tank]

The trap soul stuff, period.

[Mandy B]

I had 808s and claps in 2007 in Please Don't Go, which was the number one record for me for 15 weeks.

[Weezy]

I can't hit none of that shit.

[Mandy B]

And the cadences, you know, from me to Usher, you know, all these, like, we help do that. You know what I mean? It's not a new genre. It's just more kids are doing it, more kids are. They respond to it and feel it better. Because trap is so big now in our generation. Trap wasn't big like that. Yeah, yeah, it got big and kind of took over everything after that. And then people are like, ooh, we need more R and B. That sounds like trap. And I'm standing there like, well, man.

[Weezy]

I should have been hearing.

[Tank]

But what about the lyrics? Do you like hearing music like, me and my bitch was fucking?

[Mandy B]

You know what? I can't. I don't hate on how you communicate it. You know what I'm saying? Because I tell every artist, listen, there's a million people that say it and feel it the way you do. If that's the way you feel it, say it like, I can't tell nobody how to paint. You know what I mean? If that's the case, we'd have a hundred paintings in the Louvre that all look just alike, and they don't. So for me, it's about appreciating how you want to express your art. Do what you do.

[Tank]

We talked about that Said, is there even then a real R and B era? Say it again with that said, is there even then a real R and B era?

[Mandy B]

Yes, because we can't.

[Tank]

And which one is it?

[Mandy B]

It's still right because everything evolves it's just like saying, is there still a real hip hop era? Yeah, it just evolves. Sometimes it sounds different, sometimes it looks different. Sometimes like before it was androgynous. Prince had the ruffles and you had to look breed in order to really be R and B. And now it's. Now it's the dreads.

[Tank]

It's almost like the sinner scene. When you're watching, of course. I'm sure you've seen it, of course, three times. That scene shows you so much music's evolution that it kind of made me appreciate it. Because as I grown. Oh, I've grown to love music. I feel like people hate on my musical choices a lot. And I'm like, damn. But shit just changes, you know, like, we can fluctuate. And I appreciate hearing you say that because I am kind of tired of the new wave being the wrong one.

[Mandy B]

There's no wrong anything. My daughter loves oldies.

[Tank]

How old is she?

[Mandy B]

And my daughter's 17.

[Tank]

Oh, okay. So I love that.

[Mandy B]

I have one of my daughters. I have three. She loves the oldies, but she will. Daddy, I need a scissor ticket. I need it, period. I have to have it. Yeah, I need a Tyler the Creator ticket.

[Weezy]

Ugh.

[Mandy B]

Imagine if I need that ticket, no fee, toliver ticket. And I'm like, cool, I'm going with you.

[Weezy]

I know. That's right.

[Mandy B]

Let's go get it.

[Tank]

Who's in your Mount Rushmore then?

[Mandy B]

What do you mean in terms of R and B?

[Tank]

Now we can pick old time and new.

[Mandy B]

I.

[Weezy]

You have to, like. We asked the question. You actually have to give us.

[Tank]

You can't stutter this out.

[Mandy B]

I can't do four. I can't put four people. Well, good thing it's five on an rb. Is it five?

[Weezy]

Mount Rushmore is four.

[Mandy B]

It's four.

[Tank]

It's five today.

[Mandy B]

You know what? Way to clean that up.

[Weezy]

And it could spam. You putting yourself up there.

[Mandy B]

I only say where I drew from.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

That's all I can do.

[Tank]

That's fair. That's yours.

[Weezy]

So give me the four you drew from.

[Mandy B]

It's not the best ever. It's just who I drew up.

[Weezy]

Yeah, we're cutting all that out.

[Mandy B]

Give us a. You're. Keep all of that.

[Weezy]

We're cutting out your exception.

[Mandy B]

No, absolutely not. Go ahead, R. Kelly. Ok. Babyface.

[Tank]

Ok. I fuck with that one.

[Weezy]

No, I fucked with the first one too.

[Mandy B]

Go ahead, Marvin Gaye.

[Tank]

Ok. Is there a woman that you would throw in there? You don't have to do it now.

[Mandy B]

That I said it in R and B.

[Tank]

Damn.

[Weezy]

He said y' all ain't that good.

[Mandy B]

No, no, it's not. I come from church.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

So a lot of my influences are gospel. Are gospel influences. If I was to put. You know what? I take that back. Rob Babyface, Marvin Gaye.

[Weezy]

Uh huh.

[Mandy B]

This will surprise you. Chris Brown.

[Weezy]

Oh, no, that doesn't surprise me. Let's just say Tank believes in separating the art from the artist. Why is that?

[Mandy B]

Well, because you gotta. You know, in ours day, he was the pinnacle. The way he was doing it was. I mean, he was top of the food chain. And even. It wasn't just the music, it was the presentation. Like when you go back to down low and just separate those two songs from the remix to the. And then add Mr. Biggs to it and the cinema and like, he made it. He made it a movie. Nobody like, outside of Michael Jackson, who had done that for R and B, like in the streets. Babyface was an artist that as a little kid only singing gospel. When the girls would ask me to sing a song, instead of singing what a friend we have in Jesus, I could sing a Babyface song.

[Tank]

Ooh, ooh, that is so cute because.

[Mandy B]

You know, because these were nice, good songs, good R and B songs. And that taught me how to write without all the extras.

[Weezy]

But I like your extras.

[Mandy B]

No, no. Yeah. I mean, grown now.

[Weezy]

The extras are great, but I learned.

[Mandy B]

From Babyface how to not even need that.

[Tank]

What if you had to choose out of these? Like, you know, you're Mount Rushmore. What is the perfect R and B track or artist for baby making music? Because today I'm fucking to Naomi, Sharon, a little bit of Brent, actually. Tyrese be coming in and out of there sometimes too. But for a beautiful, intimate, romantic moment, it's really not the Brent or the Naomi. Who would it be? What is. Who is the artist that guaranteed panties off the fellas need this one. Cause I don't know what the fuck them niggas be putting on.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, you gotta. It depends on the woman.

[Weezy]

Yeah, I think that's so specific because.

[Tank]

Well, then pick yours.

[Mandy B]

Because women, you know, women are different now. You know what I mean? You see more women under than Trap host.

[Tank]

I built a gym called Trap House Tank. You know what I'm saying?

[Mandy B]

Like, so it's like it depends on the woman and what she own. If in that intimate moment, she wanna smoke some weed and get some Hennessy in her body and get tossed around.

[Tank]

How do you call the.

[Mandy B]

Or if she, you know, or if she wants some nice Sade playing and she really wants somebody look deep into her eyes.

[Tank]

Stop looking at me.

[Mandy B]

You know what I'm saying?

[Weezy]

Oh, my God.

[Mandy B]

Like, it really depends on. Because it's about listening, right? And so you have to, number one, be curious and ask questions. Because no one way works for everything. Not in this space.

[Weezy]

Right.

[Mandy B]

You know what I mean? Women. Every woman is absolutely different.

[Tank]

Oh, you sound like a hoe right on that.

[Weezy]

Talking about.

[Tank]

All of them are different. They all like something different.

[Weezy]

They do.

[Tank]

You know, And Amanda had their day. They talk like this.

[Weezy]

They do.

[Mandy B]

At what day?

[Weezy]

Thank you.

[Tank]

You got that chain on. I see.

[Mandy B]

I'm in my day. I ain't had nothing. Listen, I'm having.

[Weezy]

I want to get away from music for a little bit, but still digging into one of my favorite records from you. I made a game from Winwee, which I love. And the remix. The remix is the one. God damn it. When they say what remix is better than, like, God damn. I think you made, like, three. There's a lot of remixes.

[Mandy B]

No, the official was me and Ty.

[Weezy]

Dollar Sign, You Trey. Ty Dolla side. Oh, my God, I forgot about Trey.

[Mandy B]

No, no, no. They went crazy.

[Weezy]

They went.

[Mandy B]

They went crazy bananas.

[Weezy]

If you have not heard that record. One of my favorites. So I made an icebreaker to get you to talk a little bit. Sex a little relationship a little. All the things.

[Mandy B]

Let's see how we go.

[Weezy]

So this one's gonna be fun. When we bring food into the bedroom to spice things up. I always suggest you're gonna finish the blank. So it's a bunch of winwees, and I wanna see what you be doing.

[Mandy B]

When we bring food.

[Weezy]

Food into the bedroom. Have you never brought anything into the bedroom?

[Mandy B]

I've tried and failed. I'm cool. We say food. This ain't food. I'll say ice. That's it.

[Weezy]

Ice.

[Tank]

That's my mama's favorites.

[Mandy B]

Okay.

[Tank]

I'm not mad at that.

[Mandy B]

That's the furthest we're going with food.

[Tank]

Where did ice go?

[Mandy B]

Absolutely.

[Weezy]

Wait, why has food failed? You wouldn' you ain't rub food nowhere.

[Mandy B]

Like the idea of getting sticky.

[Weezy]

Okay?

[Mandy B]

And I'm not mad. You gotta wipe that down.

[Weezy]

He said ice. He said we not making a mess.

[Tank]

Okay, well, wait, no. Where'd the ice go.

[Mandy B]

Again? It depends. I mean, the ice can go on and the ice can go in that.

[Tank]

One or your nipples shit.

[Mandy B]

Both. What do you mean?

[Weezy]

Period?

[Tank]

Okay, that's all we wanted to hear you say.

[Weezy]

Now here's the interesting one. Into Relationships, when we argue, it's usually because of miscommunication. Okay? Period. Valid. I don't think we have to go deeper into that. Now here's a fun one. When we role play, I always request to be.

[Mandy B]

Now I'm just making some shit up.

[Weezy]

You've never role played before or what would you like your partner to dress up as? Like, has there ever been a scenario where we're like, let's just have fun tonight. Let's role play something.

[Mandy B]

No.

[Tank]

This outfit could be role play. You want to know what it would be?

[Mandy B]

What?

[Tank]

Okay, all you gotta do is pull the beanie down.

[Weezy]

Banks and rock.

[Mandy B]

No, you robbing all them banks and shit. You can't steal this pussy with her now.

[Weezy]

No, that's right.

[Tank]

I'm. Because I was saying that shit. Wait, Tank, let me tell you, if you wasn't going to this play tonight, I would have invited you. So I'm going to Questlove. Does this game night in New York, right? He was like, oh, I know how much you love sinners. Ryan Coogler's gonna be there. Please don't say it, because I've been saying it every day. I'm like, please, Lord, don't let me get one tequila and play uno with this nigga.

[Mandy B]

I'm definitely gonna say it.

[Tank]

Oh, I know. And I don't care. I don't give a shit. I'm just gonna be like, thank you so much.

[Mandy B]

But you know what? And the thing about that, like, with the role play and things like that, like, I'm. I'm so still aroused and amused by the simple things, you know what I mean? Like, you know, like my wife having on a T shirt that just slightly shows the butt cheeks just a little bit and slightly shows the panty and the print up front. Like, that's like, ooh, that's. Ooh.

[Tank]

This is just a.

[Mandy B]

That's all I need.

[Weezy]

Okay?

[Mandy B]

Like, all like that. Easy. My wife be like this. You need some of this. Absolutely. Like, she don't have to do a bunch of extra anything. Now, listen, I welcome it for sure, but I don't require it. I am that much, you know, ready and available for just the thought of it.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

You gonna walk around butt naked or.

[Tank]

Notice the men that have, like, a lot of money or affluent or can get any woman say these things that. It's simplicity. Like, you ain't even got to do too much.

[Mandy B]

No, I don't. I find that people with more access get bored quickly, you know what I mean? And they have to Find other ways, more ways to be stimulated.

[Weezy]

I think right now, a lot of us actually do, whether you have money or not, because you could literally open up your Twitter app or open up the Internet. And it's all right there.

[Mandy B]

All right there.

[Weezy]

Now I want to role play with you just a little bit. Okay, the last question, when we're in public and I whisper in your ear, I'm telling you finish, and I want you to whisper it so the audience can hear you.

[Mandy B]

I want to devour that.

[Tank]

Ooh, feel the bank trains and the pussy shit.

[Weezy]

Ok. We love a big word in sex. Ooh. Devour is not a big word.

[Mandy B]

Girl.

[Tank]

Somebody could say, eat. Mandy, I'm gonna take devour.

[Mandy B]

I like what you're doing.

[Tank]

Devour my flower.

[Weezy]

Devour my flower. Devour my flour. There you have it. There you have it. There you have it. Devour my flour now I do. It wouldn't be us if we had this whole conversation with you and didn't bring up some of the things you've said out in public. But before we get there, we have our book, no Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power coming out. And I wanted to read a little excerpt from my chapter. Can I put it back there? This is my chapter around my sexual views on the anus. And this is just the few first sentences. When I first started fucking, I believed that if a man wanted to put it in my ass that he was gay, period, point blank, you could not tell me otherwise. My rationale was that if I had this glorious pussy, and I do, that there was no reason he should want to put it in the back door. To me, when it came to heterosexual sex, there were only two acceptable orifices, my vagina and my mouth. I thought of anal sex as something that only gay men did. And looking back, I attribute this blatant misconception to many things, including my youth, lack of sexual education, and flat out ignorance. Now, this chapter goes from my views on me receiving anal sex and then me bending men over with a strap. So I have two views on just anal sex as a pleasurable spot for people. Now, this chapter for me vividly speaks about just where we are taught a lot of ignorance in terms of loving ourselves, pleasing ourselves, what it looks like to communicate that, and specifically within the black community, stemming from homophobia. Now, you've said some things across the Internet where people are like, what the fuck?

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

One is that you admitted that you like your legs being raised during oral sex, which we find to be very vanilla, very easy like, you just like to be comfortable, you know? The other one is, I think if a guy sucks dick twice, he's not gay.

[Mandy B]

Mm.

[Weezy]

Now, I would like to know how you became so confident and comfortable in not only speaking about sex publicly, but what that looks like with your partners and how you're navigating. Teaching black men specifically to not be shamed and unlearn the unhealthy things we've learned about sex.

[Mandy B]

Um, I think it's more about, you know, being open to conversations.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

Right. And listening to people of other lifestyles, of other whatever that for you may not make sense, but to discredit or downgrade their existence is not fair within that. And so, you know, me coming from where I come from, you know, I come from heavy homophobia.

[Weezy]

Okay?

[Mandy B]

Heavy. Like, it took me a long time to assimilate to the quote, unquote, Hollywood environment, okay. Because, you know, I'm kid from Maryland. You know what I mean? And from the church and all of these things. And so where a lot of these things are, like, frowned upon, in a sense, now you come to Hollywood and homosexuality is prevalent. And for me, it was very uncomfortable in the beginning. My stylist is a gay man. This person here is. And I'm like.

[Tank]

I'm like, at least if you got a good stylist.

[Mandy B]

I'm like, I don't. I don't like, like, you know what I'm saying? I don't like the way he look at me when I'm putting these clothes on. I don't like. And it's all in my mind. I'm assuming all of these things, and it's not until I'll tell you what happened. I signed Young Lady. She was like. She was an openly gay rapper. Her birthday messiah.

[Weezy]

Okay. Oh, she was on a TV show.

[Mandy B]

Yep.

[Weezy]

Yes, I remember.

[Mandy B]

I signed her, and I signed her because I thought. I thought she was. Well, she is. I thought she was the most incredibly talented human being from singing, songwriting. I thought she was like a Drake. I was like, you're dope. I don't know what all's going on with you. I don't understand everything that's going on with you, but you're dope. And I signed her, and she needed a place to stay, and I was like, you know, you can stay with me. And I really. I started asking her questions about her sexuality.

[Weezy]

She's a queer woman.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Tank]

Was it easier for you to do that with a woman versus a man?

[Mandy B]

That was just the opportunity that presented itself.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

And I Just started asking her questions. And I'm like, well, how and why? And as opposed to just, you know, trying to make my beliefs stick, what.

[Tank]

Kind of questions would you ask?

[Mandy B]

Well, the first was, why?

[Tank]

Why?

[Mandy B]

Why are you gay?

[Weezy]

Oh.

[Tank]

I say, I had that reaction because for someone that's so open about gayness, I feel like the why is an easy one. Like, cause I like it because I'm born this way.

[Mandy B]

Now it's easy.

[Weezy]

For someone who doesn't understand.

[Mandy B]

I understand it. And I'm like, why are you gay? Like, why? How? Like, maybe we'll mix them together. And she was like, I was. Ever since I can remember, desiring anything, I desired a woman.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

I said, interesting. I say, so you're telling me you were born this way? She said, I was absolutely born this way. And I had to take that into consideration. Outside of all the things I had been taught, it's a spirit. You can pray it out. It's nothing but the devil. And all of these things that I had been taught. And I had to look at this woman who was honestly telling me, as long as I can remember, I've only wanted a woman. And to this day, I've never wanted a man. I was like.

[Tank]

You know what's interesting to hear a man say? And I liked hearing you say it this way, because I've described this to men. Like, when you're confused, think about innately how you want women. That is literally how my gay friends feel. It is like, I wake up, I feel this. I embody this. It's the same thing.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Tank]

And then we are trying to convince. Imagine me trying to tell you, loving your wife is bad. Now, that could be an extremity in this, but when it comes to sexuality.

[Mandy B]

No, it's not the extreme. It's what? It's. You're right.

[Tank]

Okay?

[Mandy B]

You're right.

[Tank]

Loving your wife could be bad. Right?

[Mandy B]

Because that's how strongly we believe that. That's how strongly we believe against that.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Tank]

Mm.

[Mandy B]

It's the same thing reversed. And so, like, you know, one of my good friends, stylist Brian Javar, and I'm like, oh.

[Weezy]

And then you started asking him the same question.

[Mandy B]

Well, just, you know, just even us in being friends, Right? You know what I'm saying? Like, I kindle, and that's being friends. And it's like you realize that who you are is who you are, right? And just because that's your friend or just because y' all hang out on the cage doesn't mean that you are that.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

Doesn't mean that this becomes you. And so a lot of times with men, you know, especially, you know, when we in that hyper masculine space, we don't want nothing around us that's gonna chip away at that masculinity. We don't want nobody associated with us that's gonna chip away at that masculinity. And that, to me, is an insecurity.

[Tank]

How'd you go from that brain to being a guy? I remember the day you said it. I was smiling and laughing. I'm like, this nigga don't give a fuck.

[Mandy B]

I just. You gotta stop worrying about what everybody else thinks.

[Weezy]

Cause you still believe that today.

[Mandy B]

What is that?

[Tank]

You can suck a dick twice and not be gay. Well, and how come twice and not.

[Mandy B]

I know that. And when the number was put on it, that was all joke. That was joke.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. But I do know that again, in speaking with people who are gay, they are actually gay. They, like, it wasn't an experiment once in high school or an experiment once in college. And then they actually found their true selves, and now they exist in whatever way that is. No, it's. No. This is what I am, and this is how I'm living. This is my life. I kind of stopped saying lifestyle, right? This is my life. I am gay. That's what they're saying. And so I think that there's a grave difference between people who have tried things and people who are things.

[Weezy]

Ooh.

[Mandy B]

That was my point.

[Tank]

I like that you took the lifestyle word.

[Mandy B]

Just take that out of context. Because it's the Internet, necessarily.

[Weezy]

Kiss the Internet and they want to be.

[Mandy B]

And then it went from a story about somebody to, it's me, it's you. And that's the ignorance of. Of social media. But I don't. You know, again, none of that bothers me.

[Tank]

You know, I never thought it was you. But one thing I did think when I saw it was something I say often. This is a memory that will stick out to me forever. Although gay, I grew up in the South. I know how we think of men that are gay. I used to even sometimes have that language when I was young. I never believed n could be bi. You know, I was one of them. Girl, like, now once you do it, you gay. Go to Europe with my best friend. He's on a date with a dude in Rome. He's like, girl, this place is lit. Come meet us. I show up to the bar, and the guy was like, oh, my God, this Italian dude. He's like, you didn't tell Me, Your friend looked like this. Mind you, they was kissing. He's like, I want to fuck the both of you. And so I'm laughing because I was.

[Mandy B]

It felt like a movie.

[Tank]

Oh, it felt like a movie. We're In Europe, I'm 21, and we're on this boat in Italy. And my friend is like, I really don't want to fuck you, but fine, I want to fuck him too. But now he acting like I ain't got a choice. And this guy back and forth all night is touching both of us, so into us. And I went home, called my mom the next day. I was like, wow, European men have the freedom to be gay. I didn't say they're really bi or exploring sexuality, but they actually can do this. I believed it. I believed men could be bi. From that day, I watched this guy, the way he was attracted back and forth. And it made me sad because I know black men don't have that. What Black men? Where I'm pull up and that could happen. Where in la?

[Mandy B]

Well, I don't think it's dedicated to black men. Right.

[Weezy]

You think it's an American thing? Because I do feel like it might be.

[Tank]

I think white people can play around a little bit. I don't think black men can. I think black women can play around.

[Mandy B]

But it also, like, it also has a lot of history connected to it when it comes to black men. Right. It's not just reserved for black men, but when you think about the history of black men in America specifically, and the methods that were used to emasculate. To emasculate and make us less than, that's where it gets kind of triggering for black men. But ultimately, I think and just believe that you're gonna be what you are. And in terms of finding people who are like you or. Or are into the things that you're into, you just have to be patient in figuring out who and where those people are.

[Tank]

That's a good point. Finding your tribe is all that matters. Somebody agree.

[Mandy B]

And that's really all that matters. I was sitting on the plane next to a young guy, football player, and he was like, how do I manage all of this? He's got the money, he's on tv. You know what I'm saying? They all own them.

[Tank]

Oh, wow.

[Mandy B]

You know what I'm saying? He's like, I'm a young. You know, I grew up in the church. I think I know what's right. And I'm just, what do I do?

[Weezy]

And I said, what was your advice?

[Mandy B]

And I said, I said young fella, not young fella.

[Tank]

Good luck.

[Mandy B]

Buckle up, young rich fella. Do it how you would like to do it. Like honestly and unapologetically do it how you would like to do it. And make sure that the people within this space or who are involved understand what that is. I was like, be honest. Be honest with yourself and be honest with the person or the people around you and live it exactly how you want to live it and judge from there, decide from there like what works and what doesn't work. But while you're young and while you have options, do what you would like to do. Don't hurt nobody, you know what I mean? But do what you want to do.

[Tank]

He basically said, put a condom on and fuck em all.

[Weezy]

I cannot wait to put violin strings behind you saying that. That was so beautiful.

[Mandy B]

But we know what you do because.

[Weezy]

It'S pissed because not what everyone thinks.

[Mandy B]

You should be doing. Everyone thinks you should do or you know, because there's so many influences and so many traditions that can lead you into a space that you don't belong in.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Tank]

How long did it take you to.

[Weezy]

Figure that out and to get in a space where you're at now?

[Mandy B]

I mean, I'm 49, so even at 49, I'm still evolving, learning and growing.

[Tank]

I only didn't make the shock face cause I googled it, but I was shocked when I googled it.

[Mandy B]

So, you know, even a lot of the ideas that I speak of now are years old. You know what I mean? Cause you know, still learning, still evolving and still growing into a space where everything for me is grace.

[Weezy]

I love that. All right guys, taking a break to put you on to a new series on Netflix inspired by Judy Blume's groundbreaking 1975 novel Forever Watch, the reimagined coming of age series about young love by Mara Brock Akil, the iconic creator of Girlfriends. This epic love story follows two black teens, Keisha and Justin, as they explore romance and their identities through the awkward journey of being each other's first. First loves, first arguments, first heartbreak, everything. Make sure you watch Forever now playing on Netflix.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and Talkspace, the leading virtual therapy provider, is telling everyone, let's face it, in therapy, by talking or texting with a supportive licensed therapist at Talkspace, you can face whatever is holding you back. Whether it's mental health symptoms, relationship drama, past trauma, bad habits, or another challenge that you need support to work through. It's easy to Sign up. Just go to talkspace.com and you'll be paired with a provider, typically within 48 hours. And because you'll meet your therapist online, you don't have to take time off work or arrange childcare. You'll meet on your schedule. Plus, Talkspace is in network with most major insurers, and most insured members have a $0 copay. Make your mental health a priority and start today. If you're not covered by insurance, get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.com and enter promo code SPACE80. That's S P A CE80 to match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com and Enter promo code SPACE80.

[Mandy B]

Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. With family. Cannolis and spins mean everything. Now you want to get mixed up.

[Weezy]

In the family business.

[Tank]

Introducing the godfather@chaba casino.com.

[Mandy B]

Test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slots. Someday I will call upon you to do a service for me. Play the Godfather [e-mail]. welcome to the family. No purchase necessary.

[Weezy]

VGW Group void.

[Mandy B]

We're prohibited by law 21 + terms.

[Weezy]

And conditions apply now for decisions. Decisions.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Weezy]

We get into relationships, though, and I want to talk to you, and hopefully our audience can take some tips from you as well on how to find love again. Now, I talked about double backing, and we kind of made the synopsis here that it doesn't work. Once you lose somebody, you shouldn't go back. And XYZ Elementop. However, you took a break from your wife and fiance. Wife. Y' all have been together for the span of like, 20 years altogether, but y' all took about six years of a break. You co parented. I want to know what it looked like for you to take that space and find your way back and how you got back.

[Mandy B]

You know what I wish? I wish that I had the science on it. Right?

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

Cause we didn't actually get together. We had known each other for she danced in my first video. We had known each other, you know, kind of off and on. Messing around. Ever messing around. We didn't get together until, like, 2004. Broke up in, like, 2006, then had a baby in 2007.

[Tank]

That makes sense.

[Mandy B]

And during all this time, there was, you know, there's a lot of beef.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

You know what I mean? I don't like you. You know, maybe you don't like me a Little bit, but I really don't like you.

[Weezy]

It was that, okay?

[Mandy B]

And she was moving on, doing her thing, I was moving on doing my thing, what have you. And in the midst of a breakup, you know, we're still co parenting. Cool peoples. She was always super solid as a mom, okay? Super solid to co parent with. Like, just rolled with. Rolled with all the punches. And not all the punches were fair, okay. But she rolled with them, you know what I mean? Super solid. And after a breakup, we just started. We started talking more, you know what I mean? And just because it's like the second time around, like those conversations, communications are easier, okay? You're not hiding as much anymore.

[Weezy]

Okay?

[Mandy B]

You done seen the worst of it now. The conversations are really on. Like, well, this is how I feel and. Well, this is how I feel. And you're able to have those conversations and nobody takes it away. Doesn't feel away. And so we were able to communicate what I feel like at a higher level, okay. On this re entry, which just felt weird to me. Cause in my mind I was like, I'll never ever in a million years be with this woman again.

[Weezy]

And I'm sure she thought the same.

[Mandy B]

And. And then all of a sudden we're having these high level conversations about friendship and life. And you know, then we're like, we want to go to the movies.

[Tank]

Maybe it's because the romance was taken out. Do you think there's. I know you don't have the science, but I have heard people say when the pressure is gone, they can have this resurgence of romance.

[Mandy B]

I think it was. I think it was. It wasn't romance at first. It was like, we truly became friendship.

[Weezy]

What did forgiveness then look like? Like, how did you forgive someone that you literally said at one point, I ain't like her at all.

[Mandy B]

Forgiveness is about accountability.

[Weezy]

On whose end?

[Mandy B]

Listen, okay, Listen. Forgiveness is about looking in the mirror as a person who is not trying to forgive and saying to the person in the mirror, he, without sin, cast the first stone.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

Like, ah, you got caught. I did. But if we being real, I was do that.

[Tank]

Hmm.

[Mandy B]

If we being real, I was owed that universe. Had to get. Oh, I gotta eat that. Oh, for being real.

[Weezy]

Because you knew how you showed up in the shit that you had done.

[Mandy B]

I knew what was in the dark.

[Weezy]

Even if she didn't know all of it.

[Mandy B]

Even if she didn't know.

[Weezy]

Ooh.

[Mandy B]

And men are really good at that.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

How dare you? How dare you text that dude. How dare you respond to that DM.

[Weezy]

Nigga do you know?

[Tank]

Oh, we can't wait. Let me get my notepad.

[Weezy]

And you just basically are like, I know what the hell I'm doing.

[Mandy B]

We gotta be real, okay? And me looking myself in the mirror and being truthful about who I am and what I was was how I was able to be like, you know what? I'm not perfect.

[Tank]

Was infellible.

[Mandy B]

She's not perfect.

[Tank]

The main thing that caused a rift.

[Mandy B]

Somewhat. Somewhat. Yeah, yeah, somewhat.

[Tank]

Is it just for women listening? I made a joke, you know, when I was like, oh, you know, there's some hoe shit earlier, whatever. Is it almost inevitable with someone in entertainment because of the options? Is it almost inevitably inevitable because it's like it's being thrown at you, at your lifestyle, the character of Tank versus who you are at home. Like, is it. Is it hard to avoid it?

[Mandy B]

Is that it is also inevitable in your youth? Right?

[Weezy]

Well, you consider like, so when do.

[Tank]

They stop tell you're saying men?

[Weezy]

For the most part, when you're young, it's inevitable. Okay.

[Mandy B]

When you're young, I'm gonna say for women and men, because women get horny as a motherfucker too.

[Tank]

And they do. We was hoes.

[Weezy]

I mean, most of my friends cheat.

[Mandy B]

Listen, when you young and hot and bothered and want it, shit happens. Shit happens.

[Tank]

What age do you think there's a shift for men, though, when they like.

[Weezy]

Hey, you having it too?

[Mandy B]

Not even there. Not even now that they got these pills out. Listen, you know, I got a new line. Go hard. Coffee, stiff, bull, bang, bang tea. We will get to all of that. Yeah, yeah. I have a new line right now.

[Tank]

I've been trying to dilute my man's macaroo. Like, I know how horny he is.

[Mandy B]

Listen, you.

[Weezy]

That's funny.

[Mandy B]

I think that again, a lot of times I say everything is based on the individual and the experience. It is. It is like, nobody can make you do anything. No situation can make you do anything. It has to be for you. You know what I'm saying? If you're gonna be solid and faithful or if you're not, it's on you.

[Weezy]

I literally say that if there's not gun to head, you have the wherewithal to make the decisions. To leave, to walk away, to stay, to put up with it, to tell your friends, to not tell your friends.

[Tank]

But I do think it could be harder with men in entertainment, not giving men slack. But, for example, if I'm on a diet, it's easy. If I ain't got no crazy food in the house. Now when I'm going out to restaurants and choosing not to eat, it's like right now we're not drinking. I'm not drinking. Cause I'm trying to cut and lean out, right? Oh, why am I going to parties? Like, it's the Met weekend. Like Monday, we got shit going on. I'm like, bro, this is tough.

[Mandy B]

It's tougher in the environment.

[Tank]

Now if I'm home, I'm waking up at a certain time, easy. So I can't imagine pussy. And the best pussy, different colored pussies, different kinds, flavors and shit.

[Weezy]

It's crazy.

[Tank]

I wanna devour the flowers.

[Weezy]

Well, I know. And we talk, we lean into, like the entertainer of it all. But growing up in Orlando, if you're in small cities, there's men that have a plethora of options. In even middle America, small cities. Like, it's not just status, it's not just power. A lot of men have a lot of options. A lot of times in their own.

[Mandy B]

Listen, it was a cast in the hood.

[Weezy]

They got the whole building full of hood.

[Mandy B]

You know what I'm saying?

[Weezy]

There's options. And they.

[Mandy B]

Now listen.

[Weezy]

But they don't have. They have options. They don't have discernment. That's the problem.

[Mandy B]

Or they just. The means are just different.

[Tank]

I mean, we are only as good as our options. That's the truth of it all. Like, you can have a funny looking nigga tell me he's good to his wife. I bet you are. Bet you are. You can have a wealthy man tell me that. It's hard. And I bet it is. Like, I really do believe it's our options. It's why certain people act certain ways. Like we're a product of those options. Having a roster, a plethora of people falling at you. Celebrity status too, as well. Even if you're not attractive, people just want to be fucking around you. We've all been around that person that's super famous. And we're like, damn, you know what I mean? Like, what the fuck? And especially, right? You just like, I know I'm me, but what the fuck? How does this person do it?

[Weezy]

I want to ask you before we get out of here. We haven't dove into the episode just yet, but being that you communicate, you've unlearned some things. You're open to learning more things. I, um. Within your relationship, what do your boundaries look like? Uh, we've been talking about boundaries. Compromise versus sacrifice and all these things. Do you have a boundary that you've set forth that you won't cross or what does it look like to compromise with your partner? What does that kind of entail?

[Mandy B]

I mean we really communicate about everything.

[Weezy]

Everything.

[Mandy B]

Like my wife is one of those women that'll say anything.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

Like she'll say it and then, oh yeah, I shouldn't have said it like that. Like she's that person.

[Tank]

Do you like that?

[Mandy B]

Absolutely. It's spicy as hell. Because I'm non reactive.

[Tank]

We see how long you took to answer a question.

[Mandy B]

You know how you like you have a Chihuahua just. And the big dog just standing like this.

[Weezy]

Uh huh. That's you.

[Mandy B]

That's me. Ok. That's how it is. So you know me, I'm just about, you know, I'm just about respect and appreciation.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

Because I'm getting out in the field and I'm going to make sure that your feet don't touch the ground. Just respect and appreciate that.

[Weezy]

Okay?

[Mandy B]

And that's it. When they say men are simple creatures, they're talking about me like food.

[Weezy]

Food, water, devouring.

[Mandy B]

You gotta give me the flower to devour. You know what I'm saying? Food, sex, and occasionally letting me know that I'm doing a good job.

[Tank]

Oh, affirmation. Okay. How many years have you been with your wife?

[Mandy B]

We're going on seven years of marriage this year.

[Tank]

So when we sat down with Envy, DJ Envy and his wife Gia, I asked at what point do you just stop fighting and. Or what point does it just get easier? Do you feel that you've even reached that at seven years? That it's just seamless, that it's just easy, that you know each other better? Has that hit?

[Mandy B]

Yeah, we know each other very well. But you know, spice just is what it is. Yeah, it just, it's just organically spicy.

[Tank]

Do you like a little toxic? Do you like a little?

[Mandy B]

And my wife is gonna find some spice to throw to start the dash of Saffron's own.

[Weezy]

It's spice. We spice this.

[Mandy B]

Listen, this Libra woman will figure out some spice.

[Tank]

What's your sign?

[Mandy B]

I'm a capricorn.

[Tank]

Oh, January.

[Mandy B]

January 1st.

[Tank]

Okay.

[Weezy]

Damn.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tank]

Ooh.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tank]

Me and my son, I have a holiday birthday too. I'm curious, when is your birthday? You be like, fuck. Like, is it annoying that everybody's hungover on your birthday? Do you just celebrate it? Is it New Year?

[Mandy B]

It annoyed me as a kid. Cause they would group my birthday gift and my Christmas gift all in one.

[Weezy]

Birthday is the 8th and she still got a group gift. Oh, Bitch, you got your birthday gifts on Christmas. Hers is the eighth.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, they.

[Tank]

Hey, that's funny.

[Mandy B]

I don't do that to my son.

[Tank]

What's his birthday?

[Mandy B]

Cause his birthday is January 1st.

[Tank]

What the fuck?

[Mandy B]

Yeah, yeah. She had a baby on my birthday.

[Weezy]

On your birthday.

[Mandy B]

That's how she got the job.

[Tank]

Was that her due date?

[Mandy B]

That was her due date, January 1st.

[Tank]

That is so weird and crazy.

[Mandy B]

I said, listen, I got you. Go on, roll with me. Gave me a baby as a gift. Nigga, you good.

[Weezy]

That's funny.

[Mandy B]

You good for life.

[Tank]

That's special.

[Mandy B]

But, yeah, so, I mean, but she's spicy. She can't help herself. Like, it's not like she can control it. Like, she's just spicy and then don't let you know. You know how you know your hormones get when that time of the month comes and things just get thrown off balance a little bit. Oh. When the spikes really pick up, I know what's going on. And I have to give her so much grace.

[Weezy]

I'm like, not give her grace.

[Tank]

See, your wife, what she look like? Let me see.

[Weezy]

Oh, she's gorgeous.

[Tank]

Does she look. Does she got the look?

[Weezy]

She's gorgeous.

[Tank]

You know when women are so fine, you be like, what's the. Remember the guy that did the hot. The crazy scale?

[Mandy B]

Yeah, but she from St. Louis. Yeah.

[Tank]

Xena.

[Weezy]

Fine.

[Tank]

Oh, okay.

[Weezy]

That's a fine woman right there.

[Tank]

Oh, yes, I see. See, I could see the crazy. I see it. Oh, no, it's the eyes.

[Weezy]

It's the eyes. It's the eyes.

[Tank]

Oh, my God. I love this picture of YouTube.

[Mandy B]

That's from my first video shoot.

[Tank]

This is your first video shoot?

[Mandy B]

First video shoot in 99.

[Tank]

He has on leather pants.

[Weezy]

Of course. That's what we needed for dating. Bring back the guys.

[Tank]

Lan, a white theater and a bandana across.

[Mandy B]

I ain't got no bandanas, but I tell you right now, I got a. I got a tank top and some leather pants in the closet.

[Weezy]

We know you got a tank top.

[Mandy B]

Stay ready to be.

[Tank]

Wait. Before we get out of here, how'd you get your name? Don't tell me it was a tank top.

[Mandy B]

No, I wish. I wish it was.

[Weezy]

He said he got that tank in them leather pants.

[Mandy B]

I wish. Amen. That's not the way it goes.

[Tank]

We need that Caribbean mom to fucking do Tank. You know that lady I'm talking about?

[Mandy B]

No.

[Tank]

Lord Jesus, are you here in the room with us? And she'll pull up like Skepta Boris Cujo Tank.

[Weezy]

Yes, he is.

[Mandy B]

I haven't seen it. I gotta see it.

[Tank]

She's so funny.

[Mandy B]

No. My grandmother named me Tank. My cousins were making fun of me cause I had a big head and a big stomach.

[Weezy]

That is hilarious.

[Mandy B]

Look at that. Tank Head boy.

[Weezy]

Tank head ass.

[Tank]

Oh, it's like from geek to Sheik Omari.

[Weezy]

That is hilarious.

[Mandy B]

So my grandma was like, that's my Tank boy. Leave him alone. Come here, Tank. And it started calling.

[Weezy]

It's cause of your head. That's hilarious, dog.

[Tank]

What?

[Weezy]

If y' all haven't, there are over a hundred episodes of R and B money, correct?

[Mandy B]

Yeah, 150.

[Weezy]

Geez.

[Tank]

There's a lot.

[Weezy]

There's a ton. And guest. You and Jay Valentine hosted.

[Mandy B]

Yes, yes, absolutely.

[Weezy]

One of my favorite episodes was when y' all had Taron. He's a good friend of mine. I love Taron so much. Love that episode. I was like. And he always drops gems and tells the best stories, which I think I love about R and B money so much. You get the people so comfortable. They do the stories, then you.

[Mandy B]

And they really. They're really the drivers. You know what I mean? Their conversations and their experiences and.

[Weezy]

No, no, no, no. They sit with other people. It's not the same. No, no, no, no. They're not the drivers in any.

[Mandy B]

Well, you know why? You know why? Because we're of the cloth, right?

[Tank]

So they're so happy.

[Mandy B]

You know what I mean? We are. We are active. And so our sensibilities are just different. You know, our conversation is just different because we do it. And so they. I mean, when they sit on our couch, you know, they. They don't just feel comfortable. They feel appreciated. You know what I mean? They feel valued. Like, we know what you do and what it is that you do and how hard it is to do it. We love you and appreciate you. This is your space, period.

[Weezy]

Y' all. Check out R and B Money.

[Tank]

Yes.

[Weezy]

If you are coming to New York anytime, you must see Hell's Kitchen, please.

[Tank]

Ty is so hype.

[Weezy]

He's only on the stage till June 1st.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, yeah.

[Weezy]

So y' all have a good amount of time. Our listeners, New York, y' all. This is one of our biggest audiences. If you're traveling to New York, you must. I'm telling y' all now. You must see Hell's Kitchen. And if you're a patron, I. Because it was so good. This isn't. Cause Tank right here. I promise you it's not. Because I would have told him if it was mid. It wasn't. I love it so much. I Am giving away two pairs of tickets to go see Hell's Kitchen to our patrons. So go on over to our patreon community. That's patreon.com horribledecisions and then also, I was talking to your manager before we get out of here, you have a new single out with Aaliyah.

[Mandy B]

Yes. Called Gone. Shout out to Black Ryan Records. Shout out to Barry Hankerson.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

They called me with this idea. Sean Garrett, who actually helped, you know, reproduce it and put it together. One of the greatest. And, you know, they had the idea to make me a part of it.

[Weezy]

Wow.

[Mandy B]

And for me, it was a no brainer. You know what I mean? Any opportunity I get to pay homage to Aaliyah to just keep her legacy and her memory, I can't wait to.

[Tank]

Play it on the way.

[Weezy]

Keep it cool. Well, I do wanna tell you. Cause I was looking forward today. It is exclusively on BLK stream.

[Mandy B]

Yes. Yes.

[Weezy]

So blkstreamai.com if you guys want to hear that. But I'm literally. I was like, okay, I guess I got to go get on this app. I love any which way that they're adding.

[Mandy B]

And what I want to add to that is that I think, you know, I think people, you know, when judging these things and critiquing these things, I want people to have a little more grace. Because judging and critiquing what the song.

[Tank]

Is it AI or.

[Mandy B]

No, it's not.

[Weezy]

It's just unreleased vocals.

[Mandy B]

We're dealing with. You know, we're dealing with vocals that are decades and decades old. We're trying to salvage a lot of things and put things together the best way we can to sound the best that they can to honor her. You know, I'm not making a bunch of money to do this. You know what I mean? Black Rhonda's not making a bunch of money to do this. But what we are doing is we're ensuring that Aaliyah, who's important to I think all of us, that her spirit and that her legacy remains continues on. It continues to live and is continued in conversation. And we're really just doing the best we can.

[Weezy]

Yeah, she has.

[Tank]

I'm sure people will appreciate that we're in an era of.

[Mandy B]

But you know how people can be. They just can be so judgmental when.

[Weezy]

They just understand the process, but just.

[Mandy B]

Know that, you know, we're doing our best.

[Tank]

No, we're not gonna judge this. We just gonna judge that old clip of you from.

[Weezy]

Tank. Thank you so much.

[Mandy B]

Absolutely.

[Weezy]

Y' all make sure you go ahead and pre order our book no Holds Barred, A dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. And again, I'm giving out two pairs of tickets to Hell's Kitchen on Broadway.

[Tank]

Here in New York City.

[Weezy]

Luckily, girls are free.

[Tank]

Cause you gonna spend your money on nhbtour.com.

[Weezy]

You will. You will. NHB tour.com make sure you check us out. And I think that's it. So y' all, thank you so much for tuning in to yet another episode of Decisions, Decisions.

[Unknown]

You know that feeling when you're about to score 30% off but they want your number?

[Tank]

Ugh.

[Unknown]

Give them your line 2 number instead. It's a second line on your phone, perfect for nabbing promo codes without inviting spam to your party. Sign up for every discount under the sun, then block the junk texts that follow. You get all the perks, but none of the spammy baggage. More codes, less chaos. Visit line2.com audio or download line2 in the app Store. And get your shopping sidekick today, because the only thing blowing up your phone should be good deals.

[Mandy B]

You're listening to an Iheart podcast.