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Wheezy
This is an Iheart podcast.
Mandy
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I don't think you should say this is decisions. It sounded like you was talking to cursive.
Wheezy
You definitely say to welcome.
Mandy
Welcome to the new podcast.
Wheezy
Oh, wait, you want to say it together?
Mandy
Decision. Decisions. Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Decisions Decision. I'm your girl, Mandy.
Wheezy
Oh, they don't get French.
Mandy
No, that was giving Valley or something. It was an accent, but something else.
Wheezy
Vocal fry. I am oeezy. And we're gonna try not to curse for the first seven minutes. If you want us to say, go on over to our Patreon because it's ad free and bleep free.
Mandy
That's right, that's right. And before we get started with this week's episode, make sure if you haven't yet, purchase our book, no holds barred, A dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. All right, let's start with a catch up. Mine is gonna be real grown, real mature. But happy news if you guys were listening to the podcast right around the time of the rebrand, right before I moved to Atlanta, I was dealing with a lot of fucking shit. The depression of moving. And then I had two people close to me diagnosed with breast cancer, and a friend of mine was dealing with fertility issues. And so it's so amazing to say, but one of those women recently beat breast cancer.
Eden
Hey, congratulations.
Mandy
I'm really, really, really excited.
Wheezy
Really.
Mandy
And I'm grateful for.
Wheezy
Do I know them?
Mandy
No. I'm grateful for my best friend, Crystal, because she's been able to be somebody that as other people connected to me are going through their journey, that they have a resource of someone who got it beat, it came out of it, and is willing to, like, share what she went through. So got the double mastectomy and now is dealing with, you know, in remission, being cancer free. So really excited about that. And then my other friend, who, although is still having difficulty, I think is going right now, she's on a break because it's so much to her body. But she's currently gone through two rounds of ivf, looking to do another one. But she has gotten eggs and we are now semi family planning. I have a friend who is looking to literally be pregnant by the end of the year. It's interesting because this was something that in her mind, she's like about 35, bitch, I wanna have a baby. And so she's really moving forward with that. Although she just broke up with her nigga of a lot of years, so I'm confused. So it's interesting now to see, like, she does want to have it naturally, if possible, or with somebody that she at least knows and doesn't really want to go the sperm bank route. So it's just been a journey having those conversations.
Wheezy
I can imagine. Because it's like in one world. Of course, sperm bank sounds crazy, you would think. But then I heard something recently that I wonder what your friend would think about it. The sperm, it's not like you can't get somewhere. The sperm bank kind of alleviates the detachment, the attachment. Excuse me. Because if you, let's just say, have a friend who's great, is willing to do this for you, do you then feel semi connected? Will it feel a little bit stronger?
Mandy
No, no. She's gonna have it. She's gonna have it. It's just.
Wheezy
Have what?
Mandy
She's gonna have the baby.
Wheezy
No, no, no. I'm saying as far as like choosing, do you feel, let's say you find a friend who will do this with you, a sperm donor, do you then feel semi attached because you're like, damn, I did this thing with this person. Also, if you know a nigga, I ain't gonna hold you. I ain't gonna spend no 25 grand when I could just fuck my homeboy. Cause that's naturally, quote, unquote.
Mandy
Yeah. No, no, no.
Wheezy
Then once we do that, are we then connected? But then also why would I wanna go to this firm bank? Cuz someone could be crazy.
Mandy
Well, even with ibs, it doesn't always like she feels like there's still like she's not infertile. So she could have sex naturally and potentially get pregnant, but there's not a lot of eggs there. So saving of the eggs is. I guess she feels more confident in being able to go through IVF and actually getting it inseminated and with a baby growing in it. Y' all know, I don't really know all the science, but it's been interesting to talk to. I don't want to call it the shallowness, but it is a little bit of the shallowness of when you know you're ready to be a mom outside of wanting it to be healthy, wanting it to have certain features. And that's been a conversation that's really weird because I'm just like, she likes these real pretty ass niggas. And I'm like, just because you find them to be attractive and real pretty don't mean they make pretty babies. And it's been really interesting to kind of talk to her about realizing her own insecurities with her own features and things that she's changed through plastic surgery or other ways. And like now looking at the nose, the eyes, the hair, the weight of her partners and hoping that those genetics.
Wheezy
That'S so are attached to that. I don't know if I've ever heard someone say it when they're pregnant by a partner because you're just like, oh, I'm taking what I'm getting.
Mandy
Oh yeah.
Wheezy
No, but if you could start from.
Mandy
The beginning, if you could choose your partner, essentially either. And sperm banks normally do, but we know and we've had the conversation at least I've had it over on periodsys. Like, sperm banks don't have a lot of options for black sperm donors. Like it's very minimal. A lot of times people have to get sperm donations from the Caribbean or other countries to. To get black sperm donors and so. And then also genetic testing.
Wheezy
I'm only laughing. Cause I'm just like, if you had to pick what you going with?
Mandy
Cause I wanna, I wanna. I mean, I'm. I'm. And here's why I say I've been having to feed affirmations to her. I think it's a lot of how she felt growing up or like what her characteristics were about herself that she's since changed genetically, that I'm like, but girl, they could still get your genetics. Like it ain't just gonna be all to man genetics. So it's been interesting just being like, girl, you're beautiful. If you have a healthy baby, that's all that should matter. And you trying to get these good looking. Again, subjective. Good looking men doesn't mean that that's skin tone. It's not skin tone. No, they're all black men. They're all black men, like, with height. Oh, she's definitely with height. And her ex, she didn't like weight. She's also dealt with weight. So I know weight is a big thing. And to be honest, back when a bitch was broke and I was like, how can I make some money? Y' all want these eggs? You have to be within a certain BMI to even donate your eggs. So to me, for her, it's definitely because we both battled weight. She wants a slim, athletic build, man, so that potentially the baby has hope to not deal with like fat shaming and weight problems and weight issues, which is something that definitely brought about a lot of insecurities and depression throughout her life and mine. So, I mean, I get it. I think I would want a slim baby daddy. Like, if I have a baby ever with a big nigga, that baby ain't got no hope. The baby probably gonna be big. We big boned it together, all three of us.
Wheezy
So it's so crazy when they say that. Like, I don't know. I recently found out that this is bullshit.
Mandy
The big that I know big boneded is.
Wheezy
No, no, no, no. That it is, but it isn't. Our whole life, we told big bone ain't real right after we found out.
Mandy
No, no, no. Most recently, Big bone wasn't real.
Wheezy
Excuse me?
Mandy
I meant the opposite.
Wheezy
Big bone, we hear our whole life, we just found out it's bullshit.
Mandy
I used to say my bones just be.
Wheezy
But I just did this laser lipo shit where basically it's not coolsculpting. It's not the one where they suck it out. It's literally like heating things on your stomach to try to kill fat cells. So I'm doing it before workouts three times a week to hope to burn more. And the woman's like, just get coolsculpting. I don't wanna do that. Cause my fibroids just get smart lipo. I don't wanna fucking do the surgery. I'm like, fuck it, I can lose this weight. So while I'm in there, this Russian lady said something so interesting to me. She goes, I see why you want to get rid of this because your bones are Small. I was like. Everybody's like, this is bullshit. She's like, no, no, no. I'm feeling your stomach, and it's not like it fits you right. Your stomach on a thicker girl is no stomach. She's like, but because you're smaller, it makes you look pregnant. Like, you're basically. The birth control's making me very soft and doughy. It's harder to retain the muscles. She's like, it's your bones. It's your bone structure. So. Cause you, like, got wider hips. Your bone structure can be quote, unquote, big bone. That's where it comes from. It's how your body is sitting naturally. It's not the real bones. It's how your body sits on the bones. For example, when you lost your most weight, you still had so many curves because you just have it. You know what I'm saying?
Mandy
Yeah.
Wheezy
Me gaining this weight, some of it's going to my butt and my thighs. But it does kind of look weird because my body just doesn't have that shape. I can get some cheek, but it doesn't have that shape already. Say this to say, a friend of mine who's also bigger. She's been in the 2 or 300 range. Lost some weight up and down when she had her daughter. She's like, bro, I just knew because of me and my husband going through these things, they're just predispositioned for it. What's crazy about it is that apparently this is all from breastfeeding all the way down. Whatever habits mothers have at this certain rate. And the father, it's not even like the meals you're cooking at home. It all starts when they're like in the womb. Whatever's going in there. So it's like, you really can't help it. So, yeah, to your point, you get a super slim nigga, what if you're still that person? There's only so much we can alter before. Like, those habits. Actually, I really didn't know that.
Mandy
Yeah, so that's it. It's been interesting to know that, you know, she's now looking at all these features for what a potential baby daddy could look like. And it's not even that she wants to be with the man. She's willing to go. She. She makes good enough money to be a single mom, and she's looking forward to being a single mom.
Wheezy
Really?
Mandy
She wants to be a mother. She said, I just. I just need a. A baby daddy. But, like, she's looking forward kind of. Much like Ebony K. Williams, who Went through a similar process at 40. She literally just wants to be a mother. So she is going through the ivf, possibly going through a third ivf. And it's really just inspiring because she's like, I want to be a mom. Y' all gonna. Y' all gonna laugh, shout out to science. But it's been really like dope to have these conversations and see that she can do kind of whatever she wants to do with her body, with the role that she wants to play in society in terms of being a boss ass bitch and being a mom and not allowing the patriarchy to dictate what she do with it.
Wheezy
I have a friend right now, she's actually been on our show. She's a dope podcaster and influencer, but she's freezing her eggs right now in a relationship. And I sat down with her, we were just having coffee at Soho or whatever, and I was like, damn, girl, this is like. It's just so powerful to me that you and your partner are like, hey, we're gonna buy a house. We're do this, we're do that. But still, you aren't rushing yourself. You're freezing these eggs and you got the man. And there's just so much power in, like, women's choices because.
Mandy
Does he feel away about that?
Wheezy
No.
Mandy
Okay.
Wheezy
I actually think she may be talking about it on her own pod. She's one of those type of people. I'll tell you who it is later. But she's just like, girl, like, this is my life, you know? Just cause he's there doesn't mean we gotta start the clock ticking. Let me take a second. I'm doing. Me too. And I find that really beautiful because we hear about freezing eggs so much in this scenario and we. It's always so woe is me. Oh, so sorry for your friend. She can't get an egg. This is anybody, you know, like, it's just. There's so much. I saw it with Ebony K. Williams, with people just trying to pity her a lot. And it made me feel really bad because it's just like, there's a lot of power with figuring out how to have children solo. Like, there really is. For me personally, I think the thing that would scare me over 35 versus 40, I think I thought 35 was older than it was. But being there, it's right there. I'm like, oh, I'm still young and hot. I still am, like going out often. Like, I'm still doing my thing. Is it going to be something where I'm dating and looking for love while pregnant. Also, alternatively, hypothetically speaking, I know a lot of men don't want to date women with children. However, maybe that's because of baby daddy shit. If I know a woman had a baby on her own, I feel like that'd be more of like a damn. Like, it's almost like this turn on thing, like, go. Good for you. Like, think about how many men are really single moms having, like, dating. They normally date single dads. It's just easier all around.
Mandy
Shit, I got a whole lot of friends. Single mama to daddy, ain't nowhere to be seen, and they still difficult with dating. And they be handling that shit on their own. And y' all already know that's my biggest fear in life, is to be a single mom. But whether a baby daddy's around or not, I've seen my friends still have difficulty with dating.
Wheezy
Yeah, I'm just saying, like, I wonder if it would be different for the man dating. Like, for example, meeting a woman with a kid. Some men already have a notion in their head like, oh, this isn't for me. I don't want to fucking do whatever. Just immediately. And even if the dad isn't around, just immediately knowing that woman is like, this is just my kid. Would it make a man feel different? Because sometimes it has to do with the fact that it's not yours or it's some other man's. Like, there's so many little insecurities that people feel when dating people with children that I wonder if there would be more success for women that did this choice. I. I'm just curious. There's no real thing. I. I'm just. And if there's any men listening that have dated a woman who had a kid on her own, I would love to talk about that. What is it like? What does it feel like? What are the conversations like? Do you then feel like she's one and done? Does she want more? What about women that do this and then they get into relationships? Are they slightly regretful they didn't wait? There's gotta be so many questions.
Mandy
I love that women are now choosing and getting into motherhood. 35 plus. I ran into this goddamn tweet that had me dying laughing. Especially since we've been talking about age difference and n being nasty talking to younger girls. So someone said the actual reason for the birth rate decline is women entering the workforce, but no one is ready for that discussion. Bitch. Shout out to Dr. Laura Robinson. Red fulfilled. She said, actually about half the declining pregnancy rate is the steep decline of teen births. 70% of fathers of babies born to teen mothers are over 21. We literally slashed and burned pedophilia. And men are so mad. I was like, got em get you.
Wheezy
You know what I really play right now?
Mandy
What?
Wheezy
This to me. I don't know if anyone saw the flagrant clip of Pete Buttigieg who adopted a kid. Have you seen this?
Mandy
Mm.
Wheezy
Mm. I'm gonna just fast forward to this really quick. I sent it to alex today because Dr. Umar posted it. But Pete adopted a kid, and the kid is black. He didn't know the kid was gonna be black.
Alex
We were just on a list. You know, we said that we were willing to adopt or we wanted to adopt. We said that we wanted to adopt without regard for race. By the way, anybody who says race is not a thing in this country should experience an adoption process where there are literally different lists. If you say that you want a white kid only versus if you say that doesn't matter. Like, literally a different list.
Wheezy
What is that? What?
Mandy
What do you mean by that?
Alex
The list for white kid only is longer.
Mandy
Of course it is.
Alex
And not only that, there was actually a discount or you didn't have to pay a deposit on the feet. This is, like, how it works.
Wheezy
I couldn't believe it.
Alex
So we didn't know anything about the racial identity of the kids until they started to look mixed race, which they are.
Wheezy
Let me tell you. First of all, Dr. Umar posted this about why are white people adopting our children? Number one. And I'm, like, ready to get angry too.
Mandy
I wouldn't be upset about that.
Wheezy
But then I watched it, and I was like, whoa. First of all, started looking into my own statistics. 23% of children in foster care are black. 8% of black families are adopting children. For some reason, white people are adopting them at higher rates.
Mandy
It's not for some reason. I mean, just money, wealth, however. No, all of those things.
Wheezy
Black families. The real reason is when they're adopting, they're adopting through kinship, which means it's someone in their family. Someone died, Auntie gone crazy. Someone went to jail. This is all socioeconomic. But most people that are affluent nowadays are doing what your friend did. I'm gonna have my own kid. I'm not gonna adopt. Right? Like, it's not a bad choice. To be honest, I don't think I would be able to adopt either. I don't know if I'm that selfless. But it's crazy because I really have for a long time been one of those People that are like, how many white celebrities are we gonna see with black babies? Enough is math. But then when you see that they're a quarter of the foster care system, it's like, it's just so fucked up. Because there really is a big effect when white families adopt black children on these black kids. Not only do they have to assimilate to a new family, you feel weird. Shit looks weird. Like you don't know your identity. God forbid they ain't got no black friends to help you with children.
Mandy
Yeah, I'm not against. I'm not against white people or any race adopting black, like, at all. I think that because of, again, socioeconomic reasons and whatnot, and knowing that it's difficult for, again, I guess, socioeconomic reasons. I'm not against any other race adopting black children because I think they all deserve a home, a loving, caring home and someone to raise them. I think that them growing up in the foster system would be hell in comparison to growing up with. Of course. Of course. If you haven't seen it yet, white people that love them. Not that lesbian couple in Georgia that drove them kids off the cliff, but ones that will give them a loving, caring home. Like the family from Blindside.
Wheezy
I was just gonna bring on Blindside.
Mandy
What?
Wheezy
These are the ones that I know.
Mandy
About Pete Buttigieg is. I mean, even to see, like. Even seeing what? Angelina Jolie. Who's the other one? Who's the other one?
Wheezy
Angelina only getting black. She must have went on the list and said, no. Who's that Afro centric? How you got all of them niggas? No, no, it's a little black baby farm she got over there. It's a little too much. I feel like it's too much.
Mandy
Some of them get a little too.
Wheezy
Touched when they go to motherfucking Ghana and Kenya and they be like, oh, you know what I think? I think we're gonna take one home. That's what it gives. It very much gives. Instagram, hold the baby up with dust all over them. You're clean. And your Chanel scarf. Saving the world because you donated books. Sometimes there is a bit of a weird. I'm doing more because I got this black baby. I'm this type of person. I can't say that we all don't feel it, bro. We know it's there in this particular clip. Just to even know that, like, it's cheaper or whatever. Like, it's just sad because at the end of the day, we are this country that is so obsessed with making sure abortion Is illegal making sure that, number two, not too many kids are being born. You can't get this. You can't have welfare. You can't do this. Too many notches. But look at this.
Mandy
We're fucked.
Wheezy
It's like, it's such a vicious cycle of what we have going on in America that, like, I don't really know how you even get on top or out of it. We're one of the only countries where we have 40% of adoptions at transracial, like, it's just really fucked up. And I feel really sad to watch this clip. I feel very sad for.
Mandy
Who are you sad for?
Wheezy
I feel really sad for just honestly the black family unit. Like, people needing to give up their kids. You know what I'm saying? People not choosing those children. Black families not adopting those children. Like, all this shit is just hella fucked up.
Mandy
No, I agree. I agree.
Wheezy
But I'm gonna tell you right now, I ain't adopting a dog, and I ain't adopting no baby. Uh. Cause them rescues, they be. I ain't finna go get one. My homegirl just rescued a dog. We came back from brunch. Mandy. Oh, this poor girl. We live in the same building. This white girl, she always hits me up. Let's get a matcha. I just had a new puppy. I need a little break. The puppy's going crazy, girl. We got up the stairs. All I saw, I could see from the door, the toilet paper and, like, corn flakes, Whatever the fuck. I don't know what this hole left out. I was like, oh, my God. She just starts crying immediately, and she's like, I just tried to do the right thing. Now I'm also being facetious, y'. All. I know not every rescue is like that. There's so many dope rescues. But, yeah, she was wanting to save them, beating up dogs. Them dogs been getting their ass whooped, and now they ain't.
Mandy
And I got bodied from a crackhead, so.
Wheezy
And that's why he be fucking you up.
Mandy
Oh, and he fucked my boyfriend up so bad. Oh, my God. Like, I had to play nurse. Eden even came over the other day, and I had to put her on the ground.
Eden
She immediately locked him up.
Mandy
Cause I locked him up. Like, I be having to lock him up like a pit bull.
Wheezy
That's why you shouldn't have got that damn crack baby.
Mandy
Well, everyone deserves to be adopted.
Eden
It is kind of a crack baby.
Wheezy
It is a crack baby.
Mandy
He is a crack baby.
Wheezy
First of all, he's from the Bronx.
Mandy
Literally from the Bronx.
Wheezy
Let us not forget that.
Mandy
Literally from the Bronx.
Eden
Keep going.
Mandy
The cat is from the Bronx. From a crackhead.
Eden
So it's a crack baby.
Mandy
It is a crack baby, Bodie. Though socioeconomic Bodhi is a crack baby.
Eden
And I see Wheezy. WTF says all the babies from the Bronx are crack babies.
Mandy
I ain't gonna hold you. I am just like an adoptive parent. And maybe this age she was an adoptive parent, but this would be me. Literally every time he act up. Nigga, you could have been in the slums. You could have been in a dumpster. And I saved your motherfucking ass. When he don't want to eat cat food, nigga, you could have been getting it out the garbage can. You better be happy.
Wheezy
This is why you should have been stopped fucking with light skinned niggas. God tried to tell you it was a black cat down the street. You said nay.
Mandy
That's never happened. He's an orange cat. I didn't know nothing about orange tapping.
Eden
You think Manny was going to just pick up a cat from the street?
Wheezy
Yeah.
Mandy
No. No. Shout out to our whorehive member. The story goes. We were talking, I was lonely during the pandemic. She said, I know you've been wanting a cat. Do you still want one? There's a crackhead selling one for $20.
Eden
Oh, I thought the whorehive member was the one.
Mandy
I said. I was like, no, there was a.
Eden
Crackhead shout out to her to be subscribed regardless.
Mandy
And here I go. Here I go. Real petty. Well, send me a picture first.
Eden
No, that's not petty.
Mandy
He actually looked cute. I don't think that's petty.
Eden
I don't think that's petty at all.
Wheezy
Yes, $20 a free. What it look like?
Mandy
Yeah, it was $20 and I g. Wow. I was real nice.
Eden
You paid really well for that cat.
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Mandy
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Mandy
All right, as you guys know, no holds barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power is available. Now. I am actually going to be reading an excerpt from one of my chapters.
Wheezy
Oh, that was a word I spoke every time.
Mandy
This is. This was one of the hardest chapters for me to write. And it's about my journey of what I guess. I guess would say would be sex work. Y' all won't be hearing this chapter much during any of our press runs, but this is from the chapter what's yous Price? Throughout my twenties, these transactional relationships continued. It became easier and easier for me to ask for exactly what I needed while accepting that these surface relationships only existed because we both needed something from one another. I needed and required financial assistance in exchange for their simple need to enter the depths of my pussy, which their thick wallets allowed easy access to I only asked for things that I absolutely needed. I wasn't asking for shoes or handbags. I would be damned if I was wearing a pair of shoes or a bag that cost more than what was in my bank account. I was on my own. While I never solely depended on men because I always had a job, it sure as hell made it a lot easier for me. These relationships seemed equally balanced at the time, and not one partner was like the next.
Wheezy
It's so interesting. In both our chapters, we talk about how we didn't want bags or shoes. I think it's a big testimony to, like, how sugaring can look for certain people. Like, one of my homegirls right now has a trick that just always buys her clothes. She loves it. But there are moments where I'm like, damn, bitch, you got a $5,000 dress. Like, your apartment is not that cute. Like, those colors fade his face.
Mandy
I mean, I think it depends on the man that you're dealing with. I know that because me and my friends had different types of tricks. Like, I had men that I could call and ask for money without having to see them, without having to fuck them. I would just call and say, hey, I need this, and I'd have it sent. Other friends had to get on a flight and actually had to fuck or see the guy because they needed to put money in hand. I also have known men that were never okay with giving money. They were only okay with buying gifts. So I remember at times where some of my homegirls would be like, bruh, I'm so mad. This nigga bought me these fucking $1,500 shoes. Like, I would have just taken the $1,500 in cash. Unfortunately, like, that was always at the discretion of the man.
Wheezy
It's also very difficult when they're like the gift giving type because she got a new bag today and she's been struggling with cash a little bit. And she's like, do you want it? Just take it for half. Cause I do love the bag. I was like, girl, I don't even wanna take this from you. Like, pay me back when you can pay me back. But I get how stuck you feel. Because this particular guy, she's gorgeous and she's just like, fuck. He just wants to take me around to show off to his friends, whatever. And like, he's basically, this is how it goes. I ain't gonna lie. This is still fairytale shit to me. It's just this perfect fucking New York LA girl. He loves to send her a driver to dress her for the day. She doesn't have a budget, might be 10, 20, whatever. Could even be jewelry. And then whatever she's wearing. They go out to some big event premiere and she keeps. And she's like, fuck, I'm getting in this car back, paying rent, trying to get my gigs and shit up.
Mandy
And like, she is mismanaging her pussy then.
Wheezy
I mean, yes and no. She's not having sex with him. So she has. She isn't selling sex, okay? She's trying to get out there and do her thing, you know, LA girl. But she's like, fuck, this really sucks because I don't even want to ask for money because I know this is the allure for him. He loves to do and spend this whole thing. So, I mean, yeah, I've been stuck once or twice there before. I think I mentioned, like, even in the book. What I do like too about these two chapters is a story of sex work that made a woman feel empowered. A sex work story where you talk about self worth. There's so many.
Mandy
This chapter was hard for me. It's something I'm dealing with in therapy now. A lot of shame, a lot of things I told y' all on this podcast back in the day that I wouldn't tell you now. And I think that my ability to somewhat use my body as a way to pay rent and get by and have school covered and kind of just survive in my 20s. Now that I look back with literal, I will go out and spend the same amount of money on a dinner or a pair of jeans that I used to give myself to a man for. And because now my mindset on money is so different, I'm like, ooh, bitch, pathetic. Like, oh my God, where is your worth? But of course, my viewpoint on money back then, bitch, I had two roommates, my rent was $600. Way different than my life today. But it's just like having to go back and revisit at what those moments look like. Or having to laugh in the face of a guy that I really wasn't interested. Or even having to have relations ongoing with someone that I couldn't see myself being in a relationship for I wasn't that attracted to just for the money.
Wheezy
You know what I actually wish I talked about in the book that I didn't. When Scissors and I were together, I had a corporate job I was doing well. She wasn't really tripping about sugar daddy shit. But I had this crazy offer from a guy that I slept with for money in the vast that wanted me to Come and see him. And she was so fucking butthurt that I considered it. And I'm like, yo, we sitting here talking about bringing a man into our relationship. You knew me when I was fucking this nigga. And now, for some reason in this, we're not even monogamous at the time. But she was just, like, saying how basically, like, she. It made her feel like we never really moved up anywhere. And so this is why the sex work chapter for me is pretty interesting. For example, today I'm partnered. I don't really need to do any of this, but would I. In my chapter, I talked about how I didn't need to have sex with that guy. Like, he gave me this apartment. He gave me all these things without sex. And I did it because I wanted to. And so I think our conversation, from what I remember, I don't want to misquote her, but there was this big discrepancy of how she viewed sex work and how I viewed it, of course. And that kind of started to fuck with my head a little bit, because I was like, damn, I never. I hated feeling less than. I think that you pitied me from my story. That's what I'm telling her. When really I was having fun. Because right now, let's just say I was single, kicking it in some rich, hot. Not some old Middle Eastern man. Give me Rihanna's. Who that billionaire nigga she was with?
Mandy
Give me that one.
Wheezy
And he called me and was like, you know what? I want you to eat pussy on the boat all day. I give you one million.
Mandy
Okay? Matter of fact, you can give me a. Honey, 1 million is crazy.
Wheezy
You can give me 10 what the pussy look like.
Mandy
I mean, based on what I know, the going rates to be is very tough. The bitches ain't getting 10 bands anymore. The bitches ain't getting five.
Wheezy
They not getting five. Damn.
Mandy
Oh, bitch.
Wheezy
For the PP and the 6D rates done dropped.
Mandy
No. And because they have the access to just get all these young bitches. The young bitches just want pictures on the yachts. Oh, they just want to be in nice hotel rooms.
Wheezy
You know, it's crazy. Cause, like, I feel like today. My caveat, if I was gonna get out there and slap myself out of the bed, this would be my caveat. Just because I'm so. In this world of industry, right? We're always going to things like, no matter where I'm working, whoever can't be no entertainment, can't be athlete, can't be anything like that. Because these are people in my realm, you get me an old man on an oxygen tank, I'm taking him and I'll pretend like he's my dad the whole time.
Mandy
That's crazy.
Wheezy
I'm gonna rub his hand and everything.
Mandy
I could not love you. I will say for the most part, the men that I dealt with with money, where it wasn't like a sex work act and it was more like a sugaring act. They all fairly good looking, they're all not bad.
Wheezy
Cause they just rich lit niggas. But I'm just saying today, but I'm.
Mandy
Talking about like then, then I had like the African diplomat. I had like some. That wasn't cute at all. And I was like, fuck, I gotta go see him. Bitch, you got, you got, you got your rent, dude, do you remember.
Wheezy
Oh my God. Fuck this shit. I gotta tell y' all to see, uh. Oh, do you remember the girl that I was fucking that we had on years ago and then she started tripping cause I didn't wanna date her?
Mandy
The one who tried to sue us?
Wheezy
Yes.
Mandy
Okay.
Wheezy
Whoa. Okay, well, nice talk about us.
Mandy
She tried to defame us, child. Her and Weezy broke up. She had. And then her episode dropped.
Eden
Oh, everybody's.
Mandy
They were already broken up. So she tried to say her coming on our whole ass podcast took away brand deals from her. So she was gonna sue the pot. So Weezy, come on like she's gonna sue us. I said, no, bitch, she's suing you and your pussy. She not suing this goddamn podcast. I was like, what the fuck? I said. And this is why to this day, Weezy has wanted to bring our lovers on this show. Not interested, bitch. Make a whole new show. Have all your lovers on there. I don't give a fuck. But they not coming on this show. Do not bring nobody you fuck on this show.
Wheezy
I really think. Cause we almost got sued.
Mandy
Okay.
Wheezy
I like the content. But anyway, so yeah, you like getting sued randomly, right? Anybody could sue us. Any single person we've ever had. What does sex have to do with it?
Mandy
You could too. So, okay, yeah, I eat one fucking.
Wheezy
Pussy and now I'm the problem. Anyway, so let me tell y' all the tea.
Mandy
You ate a lot more than one pussy that, that, that I don't call.
Wheezy
So this whole. I'm on Instagram and I randomly just see her pop up and I'm like, oh, shit, she look cute. So I'm looking at her IG and I'm like, damn, this whole. All over the place. What the fuck? She got a New bitch girl.
Mandy
I googled a bitch.
Wheezy
She dating maybe 40s or 50s, children. Okay, I can't even say the company name. Let's just say if you had to think of the top three biggest companies in the world, sure. That lady just stepped down and decided to retire.
Mandy
Okay, just give us all the tea. Oh, I don't.
Wheezy
This is not suitable period. Bitch. I'm really thinking to myself, we were fucking in my 250 square foot apartment and you leveled up.
Mandy
I'm not going to lie though, that was 10 years ago. Look how we've leveled. I mean, 10 years ago. No, eight years ago. Yeah. Anyway, she came on like, where the.
Wheezy
Fuck were these sugar mamas? Was I was out here on what's your price.com?
Mandy
They were married.
Wheezy
Oh, a lot.
Mandy
They were married to men. And a lot of them now done step down from their CEO positions. But they had men that didn't support them and now they're all lesbians. Because what we're seeing, even with Kyle Richards on Real Housewives, Beverly Hills, she love her some Morgan child. She's like, y' all can't talk about.
Wheezy
Oh wait, and selling Sunset now she.
Mandy
Dating the girl they all go to like women. You just gotta wait.
Wheezy
I'm so tired of white women and taking change. That bitch was always selling Sunset. Talking about, I'm so tired of misjudging my partner. I'm like, yo, just shut up. Oh, but I, I'm just gonna watch. No. When I saw that bitch was on the yacht, I was really like, who's.
Mandy
This old white lady?
Wheezy
Oh. Oh.
Mandy
Yeah.
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Mandy
Okay, I wanna play a clip. They can call me a quick clip. I know we're doing, it's reactionary, but it's agree to disagree. And because we just got from the what's yous Price conversation and sex work, I want to know if you agree with 50 Cent.
Wheezy
Okay?
Mandy
This is what he had to say.
Wheezy
If your appearance is your largest asset.
Mandy
You gonna do some ho shit. If your appearance. If your appearance is your largest asset, you gonna do some ho shit. Do you agree or disagree?
Wheezy
If your height is your largest asset, are you gonna play basketball?
Mandy
Nope, not the same. They have to have time.
Eden
I kinda like to that a little bit though.
Mandy
I get it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I get it. I see, I see, I see.
Eden
I get it.
Wheezy
Also, the hotter you are, the more you get hosed. You gotta think about this. Think of every fine ass nigga you met. Think of every fine ass bitch you met.
Mandy
Think of everybody that got a price. Like, you may not go into wanting to do ho shit, but a man may approach you with ho shit. Now I'll tell you now, I just had a conversation about privilege and the pros and cons of privilege. We had this conversation on selective ignorance. Shout out to Reezy and Sid. And one of the things that they don't talk about pretty privilege often is the unfortunate A. You may be at more risk to get sexually assaulted, sexually harassed, and unfortunately end up in a lifestyle that was forced upon you because maybe because you're so attractive, you didn't really have to be smart. So the direction for you wasn't to go to school, you never was. You never were forced to be in position of competition because you always won or like me, where I don't think I was at all the prettiest in my teens. My circle was full of pretty girls and they did a lot of hoe shit and they brought me into hoe shit. We brought each other into ho shit.
Wheezy
You know what?
Mandy
I think it's also your circle thinking.
Wheezy
Of the baddest bitches I know. I'm like, this is why meeting women that are abnormally attractive and are just decent people, like Kami Crawford, when we had her on, I was very confused. Bitch, you really this great fuck you talking about her goddamn foundation. I'm talking to you, Kami. Oh, I'm helping these kids and doing this like fuck you, man.
Mandy
Now, damn, he did it.
Wheezy
You are just bad and good at the same time. No flaws.
Mandy
He did say, however, when your biggest asset is your appearance. So for people who have Other skills.
Wheezy
No, no, no.
Mandy
Then of course there's a big thing.
Wheezy
To me, biggest asset is like if someone, when I'm hearing that just like you see someone and they're.
Mandy
And they're gorgeous.
Wheezy
Right?
Mandy
Right. I'm not gonna hold you.
Wheezy
Yeah. We find out, you smart lady.
Mandy
Based on environment and reach and probably what gets propositioned to you and what becomes very hard to turn down in this economy. When eggs is $36.
Wheezy
Maybe I need a little filler.
Mandy
I will just say I do think and do agree with him. I do agree that the more attractive you are, not that you gonna be a hoe forever, but I do believe that within your lifetime, more people want you, you will do some hoe shit.
Wheezy
You know, someone told me this about Naomi Campbell recently and I was like fighting this conversation to the death.
Mandy
What? What did they tell you about? Allegedly that you see, she talking about.
Eden
We trying to get a suit again.
Mandy
You know what I mean? Allegedly is what they said. But you don't know if it's true.
Wheezy
No, I don't.
Mandy
Okay, so allegedly.
Wheezy
And this is why I was arg. Basically that Naomi Campbell has been a high end escort for years. I'm like, bro, she's one of the most famous models in the world. If you had to tell me, think fast. Name three models she gonna be in that. Three.
Mandy
You know what's crazy about that? I know she's made money over the decades. However, we grew up thinking rappers, actors, all these niggas was richer than they really were. I think a lot of our favorite celebrities have done some strange things.
Wheezy
But I was reading this article, right? About how much the highest paid models get. Just one fashion Runway walk could be 1.5.
Mandy
Yeah, but she's black and she was the.
Wheezy
I'm talking about black women. By the way, Joan Smalls is one of them. One of the richest models today. Yeah, correct. I mean Latina like Naomi Campbell, black up there, like Naomi Campbell's Naomi. She actually, in my opinion, almost it's past the. What we think black girls are getting today. That's Naomi Campbell.
Mandy
But I'm not gonna hold you.
Wheezy
Naomi Campbell, go make a quick 10, 20 meal.
Mandy
No, no, no, but that's my point though. She's probably being offered the things. It's exactly what 50 just said. Don't matter how. Like at that point, it's not about how much money you make. Your attraction equals you gonna do some hoe shit.
Wheezy
Okay, so basically, all of.
Mandy
So basically we both agree that if you a little attractive, you might in some time in your life end up doing some ho shit by proximity because of friends, peer pressure, or opportunity.
Wheezy
I only want to say yes because it makes me feel better about my ho shit.
Mandy
Oh, I.
Wheezy
Cause I'm so cute.
Mandy
I was a hoe.
Wheezy
Which wasn't for the time.
Mandy
Not long ago. I was a hoe.
Wheezy
We used to come out to that song, y'.
Mandy
All. We really did. Not us really. Coming out to Mariah Lynn. Who was we?
Wheezy
Was she saying nigga back then, Ghetto?
Mandy
Well, she said she Puerto Rican girl.
Wheezy
Just like what's the name of sinner? Said she was Mandy talking about she's my rain.
Eden
So honestly, apparently she's like 1A5.
Mandy
I thought I did the math wrong. I thought she was quarter black. She said her great granddaddy biracial shit. She said her great granddaddy was half black, so I didn't realize that made her an eighth black. However, it was the 1930s, which I will see here.
Wheezy
Hold on.
Mandy
I'm double downing. One drop rule ignored in the 30s.
Wheezy
No way.
Mandy
Yes. One drop rule.
Eden
No way.
Mandy
Biracial.
Eden
All right, so can she say it?
Mandy
I don't. Yeah, she said it. Didn't she say it in the goddamn movie?
Wheezy
Are you crazy? We would have all been talking about it. I. She said, boy.
Eden
Yeah, that was true.
Mandy
I'm lying.
Eden
That was a little strong, boy.
Mandy
She shouldn't have said, but we know she was married to a cracker. That was her lingo. She probably just. She hadn't been around her peoples in a while. Damn, I ain't gonna hold you. She could say if y' all keep letting Latinas crazy right now. She's 1 8th black. Yes, she could say it.
Wheezy
You fucking kidding me? I don't even want logic to say nigga. And he's half black.
Eden
He's actually like half black.
Mandy
Well, that's you. That's not just sitting here judging how a biracial is looking.
Wheezy
Halle Stanfield from Sinners, The Caucasian lady we saw on the screen.
Mandy
Caucasian is crazy. She is not full Caucasian.
Wheezy
This is crazy.
Mandy
She is not full Caucasian.
Wheezy
Nuts.
Mandy
Suck my dick from the back.
Wheezy
You need to stop bleaching your hair.
Mandy
Suck my dick from the back. All right, y', all, real quick before we get out of here. Decisions, decisions. We are talking about aphrodisiacs through the ages.
Wheezy
Afro. She would know about it, as she is 1/8th African American.
Mandy
So aphrodisiacs. If y' all go back to horrible decisions we talked about, it's shit you eat that make your pussy thump. Maybe Your dick a little rock hard or whatever?
Wheezy
All right.
Mandy
This is my horrible decisions way of explaining aphrodisiacs.
Wheezy
However it helps.
Mandy
We're now decisions, decisions. So we're gonna get into the history of it and how it came about across different parts of the world. And like always, because it's where human creation started, because we was here first. We starting in ancient Egypt. In ancient Egypt, these are the things that made them a little spicy. So we're starting with honey and crocodile hearts. Jesus. I know. The Egyptians were early fans of love potions. Cleopatra herself was rumored to blend honey, wine, and exotic herbs to seduce lovers. Meanwhile, more daring Egyptians believed ground crocodile hearts could stoke passion. Like artichoke could stoke passion. Not artichoke, just stoke passion. I don't know. That's what it say. Stoke passion. Risky romance. I'm not gonna lie. In Florida, my mama used to go to this bar. It wasn't crocodile, but it was alligator. Alligator meat's on motherfucking fire. It kind of tastes like fishy chicken, but in a good way. Kind of like frog legs. Kind of taste that way.
Eden
We had it last year, remember? You and I ate at an okc.
Mandy
We did. In Oklahoma City. We did. Wasn't it good?
Eden
Don't look at me like that.
Mandy
We had gator bite.
Wheezy
I'd be damned if I can't slow the answer, bro.
Mandy
The gator bites were fire, though. I'm not gonna lie. I would do crocodile heart.
Wheezy
I'm not gonna hold you when I'm in New Orleans. I want to go a little, eh. I'm trying to be with all them white people that sound like they from the Value and the Asians. I want to eat all that meat. That's questionable with a little scale on it.
Mandy
I want all of the only thing I've not eaten. I don't want no possum. I don't want no roadkill. No rat. No roadkill.
Wheezy
Like, whatever they got backstage. In essence. I don't want that. Get me the other shit. No, the shit that come in a bag and they got to put the newspaper down.
Mandy
Essence gonna do us right. Y' all just bring me the gumbo, the shrimp, the etouffee, the crawfish, the. All of that. All right, number two. We're going to ancient Greece now, bitch. This might be why I be horny all the time, bitch.
Wheezy
What, girl? Water. Water make you horny?
Mandy
Olives and oysters don't do that, ho. Olives and oysters, bitch. I love an extra dirty martini. Filthy with blue cheese. Stuffed olives. So olives and oysters. Greeks gave us the word aphrodisiac, actually from Aphrodite, the goddess of love. They swore by olives and oysters for libido boost. And Aristotle praised the oysters erotic potential. And science later confirmed that they're rich in zinc, which actually does help testosterone.
Wheezy
I think that the thing about olives and oysters. I have a theory.
Mandy
Go ahead, theory.
Wheezy
I think the way that you eat certain food is what makes it aphrodisiac. Fair.
Eden
Because you gotta well like raw oysters compared to baked oysters. Like, I think the raw oysters are gonna make you.
Wheezy
I don't really think it's something in it. I think it's the, like the way you have to put your mouth. The sucking. Don't let me get a popsicle. It's an octophobia.
Mandy
No, that's your theory. Science confirmed it's the zinc bitch.
Wheezy
You don't believe that.
Eden
Oxygen.
Mandy
It raises testosterone. I could definitely see that it raises testosterone. They just said it. Science confirmed. So go ahead with your theory, girl.
Eden
Wait, let me ask you a question. Do you like olives?
Mandy
I love.
Eden
Oh, so you both like olives. Do you guys know about the olive theory by the fact that it's like compatibility between two people? One person should like olives and the other person should like olives? Yeah, that's the whole thing. I want to pick a bone with you, though.
Mandy
Oh, pick that hoe. What the fuck?
Wheezy
Pick that big mom.
Mandy
What'd I do?
Eden
Cause Shorty was coming at me, right?
Mandy
Because you don't call me Shorty.
Eden
Because we came through to Knife. Remember we went to Knife.
Mandy
Oh, oh, no, no, no.
Eden
I was having a good. Oh, no, hold on, hold on.
Wheezy
I don't like racial tension.
Mandy
No, no, no. This ain't even a shit about he Nicaraguan. He a nickel og. So, anywho, so we go to Knife. Shout out. I'm with Knife is a restaurant in Atlanta because we all just wanted to keep going out after the Black Effect event. Ok, so I'm with Bitch the team.
Eden
I was even. Oh, yeah, that was the team.
Mandy
It's me, it's Eddie, It's Dwayne. And a king. Okay, so we all go out to eat. And bitch, I want a little cute drink. So I'm like, ooh, do you have stuffed olives? I'd like a dirty martini.
Eden
Blue cheese, stuffed olives, blue cheese, stuffed olives.
Mandy
So my drink comes. My drink comes. And he's like, I have never in my life seen A woman order blue cheese stuffed olives? And I said, I ordered that. Hold on. You ready?
Eden
In a martini?
Mandy
I think I said, yeah, it's delicious. And I said, are you dating girls the same as Shannon Sharp? Because maybe you need to deal with some more mature women.
Wheezy
Hold on, wait, wait, wait. You were eating it without the.
Mandy
No, bitch, it was a martini.
Eden
It was in the martini.
Wheezy
Why is this so crazy?
Mandy
It's so weird. I said, how old are you at.
Eden
Also judging the age of the women I date?
Wheezy
Because. Hold on, poquito, let me tell you something. First of all, bruh, maybe you ain't never been nowhere.
Mandy
That's why I said, no, keep going.
Eden
Keep going.
Wheezy
Very much like when I go out certain places and bitches be like, what's the capricio? That's what you sound like.
Eden
No, I have. I've had a lot of good drinks, right, bro, you've gone to pick easy. That don't mean I haven't stumble in.
Wheezy
And it's on the Upper east side.
Eden
Of the house when I go to stumble in.
Mandy
I'm having them drinks.
Eden
But that's what I'm saying. I've gone to speaking a blue ribbon. Blue cheese olive is a fucking martini. Sounds ridiculous. Just because.
Wheezy
What?
Mandy
No, no, no. It's delicious.
Eden
That looks crazy. I've never, you know, at that moment, I had never seen anybody order that in real life.
Wheezy
Did you eat it?
Eden
Fuck no. She ordered it for self.
Mandy
A savory tongue.
Eden
I just had a tequila soda.
Wheezy
Something about a martini. Okay, this sounds so bad because we're talking about sex work. Okay? When I'm in a hotel and I order a martini, I just feel like a high end prostitute.
Eden
That's fair.
Wheezy
You know what?
Mandy
No, it's not. Yeah, I don't ever drink a.
Eden
You don't got to be a high end prostitute.
Mandy
Because I'm. Think about it.
Wheezy
You watch a movie and a hot girl's alone in a bar, she is not drinking a motherfucking margarita.
Mandy
You know what I feel? You know what I feel like a woman in her mid-30s, period.
Eden
When was the last time you ordered a blue cheese martini with a side of wings?
Wheezy
Well, no, no, no.
Mandy
I've had in the last year where.
Wheezy
I just asked for blue cheese olives when I get the martini some places.
Mandy
Oh, no, I put them in the thing. All right, let's get. Let's get on.
Eden
Oh, no, they're in the gym.
Mandy
We got India, baby. Kama Sutra's Spicy Secrets in ancient India. The Kama Sutra wasn't Just about positions. It included recipes, which, by the way, if you haven't yet, check out our episode. We dive into the history of Kama Sutra. Saffron, ginger and nutmeg were blended into tonics for arousal. And ashwagandha, still used today, was their go to for stamina. In China, we have ginseng and gecko wine. And in the Middle Ages, risky love potions in the medieval Europe turned to mandrake root. It say Spanish fly, but we already know y'.
Eden
All.
Mandy
Y' all can't do Spanish fly no more. And wine mixed with goat testicles. The wine mixed with goat texticles might be. I'm sorry, that just reminded me of Fear Factor. It might be the only thing I could not. I'm not doing no testicles, bro.
Wheezy
This is all by the way.
Mandy
I lick them, but I'm not eating them.
Wheezy
I'll be honest with you. If I want to fuck, I don't care. Like, I get so engulfed in somebody on a date sometimes, they'd be like, this is a delicate.
Eden
Have you guys ever had Rocky Mountain oysters?
Mandy
Those are fucking testicles.
Alex
Those are testicles.
Eden
Yeah, I heard those are mad good, though.
Mandy
I saw that on Fear Factor. Oh, don't want them. Never did. They look disgusting. And they're big. They're like big balls. Like balls like this big. You don't like big balls, but you gotta cut open and eat with a knife and fall.
Wheezy
Nah, I don't like them too big.
Mandy
It's just a ball. I don't want a ball. Last one too. Victorian era. Now this one I can get with bitch again. Might be why I be horny in the button up. 1800s, public modesty clashed with private experimentation. Champagne, vanilla and celery were popular now. Bitch, first off, we shouldn't be giving kids little ants on the log. Not if it's gonna make them horny. But I love me a little motherfucking crudite and be fucking up.
Wheezy
Celery. Vanilla celery what?
Mandy
Champagne, vanilla and celery aphrodisiacs were tucked into medicinal tonics or whispered about in scandalous women's magazines.
Wheezy
That sounds like shit you can get right now.
Mandy
No, you can't get vanilla, celery, champagne.
Wheezy
One of them. Like, you know, what is it? Double chicken, please. It's like the most famous, world's most famous bar now in New York. Like, I feel like they have such weird concoctions.
Mandy
They probably put this in the menu.
Wheezy
Honestly, whenever I go to these nice places now, and I'd be looking at the menu and the shit just be looking nuts. All I look for is the main mezcal Tequila. What the hell is it? Cause I don't know none of this other shit. What the fuck is vermouth? I'm just playing.
Mandy
And of course, as y' all know. Cause we've talked about it before. Chocolate is one. Of course you have Horny Goat. Horny Goat weed. And then today it's literally in here as the 20th century, bitch. Viagra or Bluechew or one of them motherfucking pink pills from the gas station. But you can actually go into all of these natural remedies that have been used over the times.
Wheezy
But before you spend money on anything, go over to nhvtour.com and spend money on us.
Mandy
Ho, shit. We going on tour. We are on tour till September. Make sure y' all see us. And if you haven't yet, I know some of y'. All. I think about 15 of y' all are joining me so far. I will be in Jamaica Labor Day weekend. Join me there. We gonna get nasty, freaky deaky, all the things. And yeah, just see us on the road. Goddammit. See us on the road. Buy our book and subscribe to our patreon patreon.com horribledecisions thank y' all for listening. Goddamn, I'm out of breath, bitch. This why I don't be riding dick either. To another episode of Decisions, Decisions. Wow, I almost said horrible.
Wheezy
That was almost as bad as me on stage talking about creative.
Mandy
Oh, my God.
Wheezy
This is an I Heart podcast.
Episode Summary: Decisions, Decisions – EP 428: Aphrodisiacs, Bone Structure, & Beautiful Baby Daddies
Release Date: July 7, 2025
In Episode 428 of "Decisions, Decisions", hosts Mandii B (Mandy) and WeezyWTF (Wheezy) delve into a multifaceted discussion encompassing fertility choices, the socio-cultural implications of adoption, sex work, and the intriguing history of aphrodisiacs. This episode is a compelling blend of personal anecdotes, critical insights, and thought-provoking conversations that challenge traditional norms surrounding relationships and sexuality.
The episode kicks off with Mandy sharing heartfelt updates about her personal life. She recounts the emotional turmoil she faced during her rebranding phase, including battling depression and supporting friends through severe health challenges.
Mandy expresses profound gratitude for her friend Crystal, who overcame breast cancer and now serves as a source of strength and inspiration for others in similar battles. Additionally, Mandy discusses her friend's ongoing struggle with fertility, highlighting the complexities and emotional weight of infertility and IVF treatments.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to exploring the intricate decisions surrounding fertility, particularly the choice of a baby daddy. Mandy and Weezy examine the pros and cons of using sperm banks versus selecting a known donor, delving into the emotional attachments and genetic considerations involved.
Mandy discusses her friend's preference for natural conception or using a known donor over sperm banks, emphasizing the desire for emotional connection and genetic familiarity.
The conversation further explores societal pressures and personal insecurities related to physical attributes and their perceived impact on future children. Mandy highlights the importance of self-affirmation and challenging superficial standards when making such significant decisions.
The hosts transition to discussing adoption, particularly focusing on the racial disparities in adoption practices. They shed light on how a disproportionate number of black children are adopted by white families, raising concerns about cultural assimilation and identity struggles for adopted children.
Mandy echoes these sentiments, advocating for black families to embrace adoption to provide loving homes for black children, thereby preserving cultural identity and integrity.
The discussion underscores the systemic issues within the adoption system and calls for more equitable practices that prioritize the cultural and emotional well-being of black children.
A poignant segment features Mandy reading an excerpt from her book, "No Holds Barred: A Dual Manifesto of Sexual Exploration and Power." She candidly shares her experiences with transactional relationships during her twenties, where financial needs intersected with personal boundaries.
Weezy adds her perspective, discussing the nuanced differences between transactional relationships and genuine connections, and the complexities that arise when personal relationships are influenced by financial dynamics.
Both hosts reflect on their past decisions, the lessons learned, and the ongoing journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment.
Shifting gears, Mandy and Weezy embark on an enlightening exploration of aphrodisiacs throughout history. They traverse different eras and cultures, uncovering how various substances were believed to enhance libido and romantic allure.
The hosts discuss a variety of aphrodisiacs, ranging from honey and crocodile hearts in ancient Egypt to saffron and ashwagandha in India, and ginseng and gecko wine in China. They also touch upon the more dubious concoctions from the Victorian era, such as mandrake root and Spanish fly.
Mandy counters with scientific explanations, emphasizing the role of nutrients like zinc in boosting testosterone levels, thereby scientifically validating some historical claims about food-based aphrodisiacs.
Throughout the episode, Mandy and Weezy intertwine their personal experiences with broader societal issues, advocating for autonomy and challenging patriarchal norms. They emphasize the importance of making informed and empowered decisions regarding relationships, fertility, and personal well-being.
Mandy [12:01–13:16]:
“She wants to be a mother. She is going through IVF... inspiring because she can do whatever she wants with her body... not allowing the patriarchy to dictate what she does with it.”
Weezy [16:05–16:54]:
“Single moms are handling that shit on their own. My biggest fear in life is to be a single mom... but they still have difficulty with dating.”
Their candid dialogues foster a space for listeners to reflect on their own decisions and societal pressures, encouraging authenticity and self-empowerment.
Weezy [04:46]:
“The sperm bank kind of alleviates the detachment, the attachment.”
Mandy [09:01]:
“...she is willing to go... she just wants a mother.”
Weezy [18:27]:
“Black families are protective because they’re adopting through kinship.”
Mandy [27:34]:
“I wasn’t asking for shoes or handbags... I was on my own.”
Weezy [49:37]:
“I think the way that you eat certain food is what makes it an aphrodisiac.”
Episode 428 of "Decisions, Decisions" is a profound exploration of personal choices and societal constructs surrounding fertility, relationships, and sexuality. Through their honest and unfiltered conversations, Mandy and Weezy invite listeners to reassess their own boundaries and societal narratives, advocating for empowerment, authenticity, and informed decision-making. Whether discussing the emotional complexities of IVF, the racial implications of adoption, or the fascinating history of aphrodisiacs, this episode serves as a rich resource for anyone navigating the labyrinth of modern relationships and personal growth.
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