Decisions, Decisions – Ep. 440: Grits & Legs (ft. Deante Kyle)

Date: September 29, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B, WeezyWTF
Guest: Deante Kyle (Grits & Eggs podcast)

Episode Overview

This episode of "Decisions, Decisions" brings the Southern flavor front-and-center as Mandii B and WeezyWTF welcome Deante Kyle—host of the “Grits & Eggs” podcast—for a spirited, candid, and often hilarious conversation. Together, they unpack the complexities of modern dating, non-traditional relationships, honesty about sexual pasts, the impact of podcasting on personal lives, and the weight of public perception in Black relationships and social circles. Along the way, they drop hot takes on gender dynamics, social media slang, "passport bros," fame, sexual liberation, and problematic celebrity news—all seasoned with vulnerability and Black Southern humor.

Guest Introduction

• Deante Kyle: Introduced as the force behind the "Grits & Eggs" podcast—a platform tackling unspoken issues in the Black community with “raw without a condom and nuance to our plight and experiences in the country, both socially and politically” (04:00).

Main Discussion Themes & Key Points

1. Culture, Slang & Black Southern Identity

• Mandii and Weezy joke about Southern "geographicization" and how internet slang (like “Y/N” and TikTok terms) shapes conversations about Blackness and code-switching in digital spaces.
  • Mandii: “I have been missed. What's it called? Geographicized.” (02:41)
  • On TikTok lingo: “They get on my nerves. Yes. The same way we got to say grape now all that all from Tik Tok.” (05:25)

2. Dating Transparency, Ego, and Boundaries

• Debated the pros and cons of honesty in modern dating—especially when it comes to sharing sexual history and managing egos at social gatherings.
  • Mandii's experience inviting multiple lovers to LA gatherings:
    • “I ended up inviting three of the niggas. Two of them showed up...they just played it out.” (08:04)
  • Deante on honesty vs. discretion: “Time and a place for that shit.” (07:44)
• Defining relationship “milestones”:
  • When to have sex without condoms:
    • Deante: “When I start considering cutting other hoes off.” (10:11)
  • How much dating past you should reveal to new partners.

3. Non-Monogamy, Judgements, and Social Capital

• The hosts’ non-monogamous outlook influences their detachment from traditional jealousy and their readiness to “cuff hoe ass niggas.”
  • Mandii: “We are non monogamous people who are fine with cuffing hoe ass niggas…” (13:11)
• Social capital and reputation impact on relationships, especially for Black men, with peer perception and “the bros” as a recurring anxiety.
  • Deante: “I still deal with my ego and like some sensitivity...what the bros gonna think and shit too.” (26:47)

4. Sexual Liberation vs. “Body Count” Double Standards

• They confront the paradox between demanding honesty from women about their sexual pasts yet penalizing them for it, especially regarding threesomes, “gang bangs,” or past abortions.
  • Mandii: “If this woman is being honest … and now that's being held against her honesty, I ain't going for that.” (23:43)
  • Deante: “The gang bang is crazy… I'm all for that and I respect it. That's your vibe. But you ain't gonna be obvious for you.” (22:51)
• Deante notes the hypocrisy but admits personal limits, highlighting how complex and personal “deal-breakers” can be.

5. Fame, Podcasting, and Relationship Implications

• The trappings of podcast popularity, accidental celebrity, and difficulties in maintaining privacy.
  • Weezy: “My last relationship impacted how I could do content...I ask for permission before I share things on the pod.” (16:01)
  • Mandii: “Now Dating is like, I ask for permission before I share things on the pod. And so it’s just making me more accountable to actually care about the niggas.” (16:54)
  • Deante: “I do be dating, but like, man, that shit be annoying...I'm more so focused on this shit. Like, what I got going on.” (19:05)

6. Fans, Groupies, and Slightly Awkward Fame

• The crew shares bizarre and sweet stories of being recognized—be it by Uber drivers or aunties in Chicago for Deante, or being called out courtside for Mandii.
  • Deante: “It's this car full of older women. Like, they all 45, 50...N was like, hey, Deontay...One of the mamas was like, sign my titty. I had signed her tit.” (48:10, 49:30)
  • Mandii: “I feel super famous now. They set me half court at Dykman basketball, and I was like, oh my God, bitch, I done made it.” (46:29)

7. “Passport Bros” and Dating Abroad

• Lighthearted debate on “passport bros” and the perception of men going abroad to find partners due to American dating woes.
  • Weezy (reading official def.): ”A passport bro is a slang term for a man...who travels abroad...to date or marry women from other countries...not just sex tourism.” (37:21)
  • Deante: “When you say passport, bro, that’s what niggas got.” (37:52)
  • Discussion on social media’s distortion of intentions and stereotypes about men who date internationally.

8. Celebrity “Judging” and Cultural Opinions

• Roundtable on recent Halle Berry news—whether women should be judged for not cooking/cleaning, or perpetuating misleading abuse narratives about exes.
  • Deante: “If you gonna call somebody off of being abusive, you need to put a name on the bullet.” (62:02)
  • Mandii: "I'm judging Halle for five months in telling a nigga to marry you because have some fucking Coop." (60:35)

9. Consent, Naming Names, and Accountability

• Heated (but thoughtful) debate about the responsibility to “name names” when discussing experiences of abuse or misconduct—balancing freedom to share your story, protecting yourself, and not harming the wrong person by omission.
  • Weezy: “If you don't want to expose your abuser name out of like fear that's real, you shouldn't...But if a name gets attached to it, who it ain't, it's your responsibility to clear.” (63:53-64:14)
  • Deante: “If somebody would have put a name on somebody in my family and it wasn't them, I'd have been like, hey, respectfully, it wasn't that person.” (65:11)
• Both men and women’s trauma validated, especially with Deante courageously sharing his experience of sexual abuse as a child and how telling his family was liberating.
  • Deante: “I spoke about being molested when I was younger by a woman that was close to my family. And if somebody would have put a name on somebody in my family and it wasn't them, I'd have been like, hey, respectfully, it wasn't that person.” (65:11)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Honesty's Double-Edge:
  • Deante: “It’s actually better for you if I tell you, like, I’m not going [to date you], because you could weed me out too.” (25:00)
• On Sexual Past:
  • Mandii: “If you do a gang bang. No, the [men] got to be elite in a gang bang.” (57:25)
• On Podcast Fame:
  • Weezy: “I really do believe because of how much money’s in podcasting, I really don’t want to date somebody that wants to be famous.” (40:51)
• On Men’s Sexual Trauma:
  • Deante: “When I came out and was vocal about my situation, the amount of men that just came out with their stories ... a lot of [n****s] was freed up.” (69:53)
• On Perception & Public Life:
  • Mandii: "There's certain elements of just life she's not able to do. And I think sometimes people say they want the fame, and this shit. Shit kind of rings." (43:24)
• Hilarious Southern Flare:
  • Deante: "If you go pinstripe power suit you Sicilian. You might have a whole family, like, ready to ride for you..." (50:43)

Fun Segments

• Hoetry (53:07):

  • Turning classic rap lyrics (this time, from the Ying Yang Twins) into dramatic poetry and making the guest guess the track.
  • Tangential debate about celebrity quirks, physical differences, and which member of famous duos the hosts would “choose.”

• Listen & Judge:

  • The hosts and Deante pick a celebrity (Halle Berry, Cardi B, Offset) and “judge” their recent tabloid behavior, pivoting quickly into deeper ethical discussion about the dangers of public call-outs (58:08 onward).

Vulnerable & Significant Moments

• Deante opens up about his own childhood sexual abuse (66:43–68:11) and the importance of not forcing survivors to out abusers if it puts them in danger, but underscores the need to publicly deny rumors attaching an innocent person's name to the crime.

• Public perception and the pressure of "the bros":

  • Deante admits that, even years later, the opinions of male friends and community can shape how he navigates his dating life and its disclosures.

Closing & Call to Action

• Follow Deante:

  • Podcast: “Grits & Eggs” (YouTube, Patreon)
  • Socials: @deantekyle on Instagram and TikTok (71:09)

• Mandii’s Book:

  • “No Holds Barred: A Manifesto of Sexual Exploration and Power”

• Listener Invitation:

  • Check out their Patreon for bonus content.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & Guest Bio: 02:41–04:44
• Honesty in Dating: 07:44–14:03
• Impact of Podcasting on Dating: 14:03–17:08
• Sexual Past & Double Standards: 21:20–24:01
• "Passport Bro" Debate: 36:01–38:46
• Fame & Recognition Stories: 46:29–49:43
• Hoetry (Ying Yang Twins Segment): 53:07–54:32
• Judging Celebrities (Halle Berry): 58:06–62:06
• Naming Names & Abuse Disclosures: 62:06–68:11
• Deante’s Abuse Story: 66:43–68:11

Tone & Vibe

• Candid, Bold, and Unapologetic:
  The hosts and guest keep it 100—no taboo topics, plenty of laughing at themselves, and always calling out hypocrisy (their own included).
• Southern & Black-Centered Humor:
  Regional pride, inside jokes, and a fierce sense of community run through the episode.
• Nuanced but Accessible:
  Conversations are smart and complex, but always down-to-earth and relatable, welcoming listeners into their circle.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the intersection of sex-positivity, modern relationships, Black Southern culture, and the often-hidden costs of candor in the digital age.