Ep. 444: Introducing Your Kids To Your Sub (Ft. Kasha & Christopher)

Summary

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Decisions, Decisions — Ep. 444: Introducing Your Kids To Your Sub (ft. Kasha & Christopher)

Date: October 27, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B, WeezyWTF
Guests: Kasha Johnson (“your sexologist bestie”), Christopher aka Big Black Supervillain/Sir Panama
Theme: Navigating Ethical Non-Monogamy, Submissive Dynamics, and Family Life

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Episode Overview

This candid, boundary-pushing Halloween episode brings together the hosts and couple Kasha and Christopher for a raunchy, insightful, and laugh-filled dialogue on ethical non-monogamy, introducing children to partners (including “subs”), cultivating balance between dominance and softness, and embracing change within relationships. With their trademark humor and openness, the crew addresses misconceptions around open relationships, the realities behind integrated family life, sexual expression, vulnerability, and evolving love.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Relationship Dynamics & Ethical Non-Monogamy

[03:10]

• Kasha and Christopher are openly ethically non-monogamous; they share the challenge and beauty of navigating boundaries as needs evolve.
• Kasha: “What we thought we'd be comfortable with as time has progressed have changed.”
• Policy: Always “protect home first.” Decisions (like bringing in a sub) are based on their combined sense of safety and enrichment for the relationship/home.
• Christopher: They make decisions together: “It’s like a lawyer presenting a case. If you can present your case and your case makes sense, then we proceed.”

2. Introducing Subs to Children & Family Integration

[06:41–09:06]

• Kasha explains why and how a sub might be introduced to her children—as “Mommy’s friend”—emphasizing a cautious, child-centered approach, not as “mommy’s dom/sub.”

  • Example: Only after a 3-6 month vetting does someone meet the family.
  • “You have to protect the child's innocence.”
  • Her kids only meet subs she deeply trusts, usually those with child care or therapeutic backgrounds.

• Demisexuality & Connection:

  • Kasha: “I’m a demisexual…You could be bad as hell, but if I don’t feel like we connect…it’s not gonna go that far.”

3. Service, Rewards, and Submissive Roles

[09:42–13:02]

• The “sub” dynamic includes non-sexual service and caretaking (from running errands to emotional support) as much as sexual play.
• Role of Affirmations: Kasha details “forced affirmation” scenes to help build self-worth in her sub.
  • Kasha: “I’m going to spank you until you tell me you deserve that job.”
  • [12:07] Gabrielle Union: “Forced affirming…You are so fucking powerful. You said the thing. Oh my god.”

4. Gender Norms, Switching, and Mutual Care

[15:10–17:32]

• Defying stereotypes, Christopher is physically imposing but deeply nurturing with Kasha, reversing expected dom/sub or gendered roles.
• Christopher: “She’s very dominant, but she is submissive with me…She takes care of everybody. I take care of her.”
  • The theme: “Who takes care of the caretaker?”

5. Negotiating Boundaries and Desires

[24:39–29:39]

• The couple discusses negotiating additional subs for Christopher. Kasha’s requirement was that his needs/service must be clearly defined and not just about pleasure-seeking.
• Kasha: “I don't have a man who is too prideful to say this is for you to lead.”

6. Role Play & Keeping Sex Alive

[41:09–47:49]

• The group shares favorite Halloween and general role-play fantasies (e.g., sexy nurse, conductor, “Dominican sex worker”).
• Kasha’s hospital nurse story:
  • Even during Christopher’s injury, their chemistry and playfulness remained.
  • Kasha: “By the time I leave here today, he gonna know that dick is doing fine.”

7. Playfulness, Family, & Inner Child

[52:07–53:33]

• The couple talks about keeping their inner “teenagers” alive in their relationship, making space for fun and escape from adult responsibilities:
  • “Our teenage kids run the relationship. The adults pay bills.”
  • “80% of the time we act like wild teenagers with each other.”

8. Adapting to Growth and Change

[54:00–59:44]

• Referencing Shaunie O’Neal, the show discusses how people and relationships evolve—there are different “versions” of ourselves over time, and healthy couples check-in and realign regularly.

• Kasha: “There’s no such thing as permanent relationships, only permanent agendas.”

  • “You can’t predict who you’re gonna be in 10 years, but you can stay in touch and check in if we’re still on the same page…Are we even in the same chapter?”

• Advice: Continual, honest self-inventory and partner check-ins:

  • "Where are we now? Where do we want to go? How are we getting there?"

9. Judging Books by Covers & Social Perception

[63:19–66:51]

• Christopher and the hosts reflect on how outward perceptions (social media, sexual expression) mislead about real personality and relationship stability.
• Christopher: “You meet the person and none of that mattered.”
• Kasha: “I use that in business…you’re going to think I’m not a threat…you’re going to sleep on me.”

10. Family First Impressions

[67:32–70:42]

• Hilarious story of Kasha meeting Chris’s parents at 3AM in a “sexercise” tank top after breaking him out of rehab:

  • “Nothing about this, man…”

  • Christopher: “Meanwhile, that was like the best first impression, because it was honest, it was genuine, it was spontaneous, it was real, it wasn’t scripted.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On evolving boundaries:

  • Kasha: “If you’re not sure, check in. How are we feeling about this? Do we want to try this? Do we not?” (05:16)

• On subs in family life:

  • “You have to take into account who that person is outside of that lifestyle and then see if you guys also align within the lifestyle.” – Kasha (08:03)

• On affirmations as aftercare:

  • “...Receiving them from you in the capacity that I received it in, in Jamaica, I was like…My pussy had already just done a lot, but being affirmed by you in aftercare…” – Mandy (12:28)

• On supportive masculinity:

  • Christopher: “She takes care of everybody. I take care of her.” (16:44)

• On leadership in relationships:

  • Kasha: “Having somebody who you can be submissive to really means having someone whose leadership you can trust.” (20:23)

• On fun and roleplay:

  • “She comes in with the heels…she had shades, you know what I’m saying? Click clack…‘Hey y’all, here to help my man walk?’” – Christopher describing Kasha’s hospital nurse roleplay (42:28)

• On relationship longevity:

  • “You can’t predict who you’re gonna be in 10 years, but you can stay in touch and check in if we’re still on the same page.” – Kasha (58:16)

• On first impressions:

  • “We met in an environment…Everything about our life is crazy.” – Kasha (69:44)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [03:10] – Introduction to Kasha & Christopher’s relationship dynamic and non-monogamy
• [06:41] – How and when to introduce “subs” to children/family
• [09:42] – Service, demisexuality, and what “reward” looks like in a sub relationship
• [12:28] – Affirmation as aftercare and its sexual/emotional power
• [15:10] – Switches, dominant women, and the “teddy bear” effect in Black love
• [41:09] – Halloween roleplay fantasies and story of sexy nurse in the hospital
• [52:07] – Playfulness, inner child, and maintaining fun in long-term relationships
• [54:00] – On adapting to new “versions” of your partner and relationship longevity
• [63:19] – Judging by covers vs. discovering who someone really is
• [67:32] – Meeting the parents: authenticity and hilarity

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Final Thoughts

With explicit openness and humor, the episode demystifies ethical non-monogamy, highlights the importance of mutual care and communication, and gives a rare window into a Black, blended, sex-positive family. The guests model humility and honest check-ins as a tool for success, urging listeners to stay agile in self-awareness and couple reflection—as Kasha says, “Just keep asking, where are we now, where do we want to go, and how do we get there?”

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Connect with the Guests

• Kasha Johnson:
  • Instagram: @yoursexologistbestie
  • Website: kashajohnson.com
• Christopher:
  • IG Persona: @bigblacksupervillain / Sir Panama

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For the full stories (including wild hedonism tales!), extra scenes, and sexual techniques recaps, check out their Patreon and Kasha’s channels.

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Transcript

[Kasha Johnson]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Jim]

This is Jim.

[Kasha Johnson]

Hello.

[Jim]

Jim started advertising with iHeartRadio way back.

[Christopher (Chris)]

In April, and now I have customers out the door.

[Jim]

And this is Sarah.

[Gabrielle Union]

Hi.

[Jim]

She started putting a portion of her marketing dollars in podcasting back in June.

[Gabrielle Union]

Business is booming. That's why I'm working on a Saturday.

[Jim]

Want to be like Jim and Sarah? It's easy. All you have to do is own or manage a business and reach out to iHeart. Get started at 844-844-IHeart or iheartadvertising.com.

[Gabrielle Union]

Welcome to Decisions Decisions.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I don't think you should say Decisions, Decisions. It sounded like you was talking and cursing.

[Gabrielle Union]

You definitely say the welcome.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Welcome to the new podcast.

[Gabrielle Union]

Oh, wait, you wanna say it together?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Decisions, decisions.

[Kasha Johnson]

Okay. You do a good job, Daddy.

[iHeart Advertising Voice]

We ready.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Ooh.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Do a good job, Daddy. Y' all heard all of that? I wanted to, like, come in, like, ooh, but that's a ghost. Apparently I dress like a bitch who don't even talk. Welcome, y', all to.

[Kasha Johnson]

Apparently Tinkerbell ain't Taco Bell. Didn't have ticker Bell Ain't had no.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I dressed up as a bitch who don't.

[Kasha Johnson]

She just used to show up and do shit like that.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Then I'm like, I was fucking PE And I done gave Tinkerbell a whole accent. That ain't even a thing. But anyways, y', all, welcome to Decisions Decisions. Happy motherfucking Halloween. Make sure you test your candy for drugs. Cause that's what apparently they doing now in 2025. Welcome to a new episode. I'm Tinker Bell.

[Gabrielle Union]

And I'm Gabrielle Union.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

That is not her name on the show. The movie, her name is.

[Gabrielle Union]

Gabrielle Union. If you guys are listening, I'm wearing a Clover's fit. And also just want to tell you, my homegirl and I were looking for the fits on Amazon together. She's like, you don't want to get.

[Kasha Johnson]

The white girl one.

[Gabrielle Union]

Since you like, no, I don't. That is.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh, she tried it. Well, y' all are in for a special treat. We have tricks and treats here on, on today's pod.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yes, we have.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Y' all know her as Cash. Y' all know her as all natural. Y' all know her as that girl that gives you all of the sex tips, the looks, the tricks. We have cash out on the goddamn podcast.

[Kasha Johnson]

Your sexologist besties, period, lives one orgasm at a time.

[Gabrielle Union]

And if you're not familiar, they've actually heard you on our Facebook business.

[Kasha Johnson]

Oh, yeah, well. Yeah, well, you got to know me pretty well over there.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yes. And this is decisions, decision.

[Gabrielle Union]

So it's a little bit more chill.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

It's chill for the first seven or eight min. And then we're also joined by Christopher because that's how he said it. Christopher.

[Gabrielle Union]

It was very biggie. I feel like that's how big he said his name is.

[Kasha Johnson]

Christopher.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And why I'm excited is because in talking about non traditional relationships, you two are ethically non monogamous. And I'm really excited to kind of just lean into what that dynamic of your relationship looks like. And then we gonna get into all the tricks and treats throughout this episode.

[Gabrielle Union]

Just a quick question, Christopher, why are you holding a vibrator?

[Christopher (Chris)]

Oh, it's my tool of choice.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Ooh, nigga. What tool you need today?

[Kasha Johnson]

Everything against her, he uses 11:24am it's like an intimidation tactic.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Like, that.

[Kasha Johnson]

He does like to keep me in check. It's like a threat. Like he starts doing things with it or whatever. Like, and the fact that he's across from me now is gonna make it like, even easier for him to like, try to. I love it, you know? But today I've dressed as Madam Scorpion, AKA get over here. Right? You know what I'm saying? So get over. Get over here. I'm trying to magnetize.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Wait, who does this one? Who does this one on Mortal Kombat?

[Gabrielle Union]

Oh, I thought that was Spider Man.

[Kasha Johnson]

Fub zero.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Naturally thought it was sub zero.

[Gabrielle Union]

See?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Thank you.

[Kasha Johnson]

I knew.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

First off, wolf, you are over there shaking your head, being really judgy. Mortal Kombat. While I don't like video games like that, Mortal Kombat was my shit. That and Frogger judge me now.

[Kasha Johnson]

Not crossing the street.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I used to love making that little bitch cross the street. Then he had to hop on the little logs over the water. Over the water.

[Gabrielle Union]

I forgot about Frogger. I was a Super Mario girl.

[Kasha Johnson]

Oh, me too.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I love Mario.

[Kasha Johnson]

I'm a game. I'm a game girl. I like to shoot shit in both.

[Gabrielle Union]

Oh, stop trying to sell your fucking patreon and ownership.

[Kasha Johnson]

I'm game, girl.

[Gabrielle Union]

Oh, and talk about that. I be like, this hoe's scamming this hoe.

[Kasha Johnson]

Know how to. I got a higher level than him in some games.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah, that surprised the hell out of me. When she's playing Grand Theft Auto, I was like, fly the helicopter, honey. Okay.

[Kasha Johnson]

Grand.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I was like kind of passenger seat.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Like, can you guys share what the dynamic of your relationship is, how y' all got together, and then also just what your boundaries are and how you choose to play with each other.

[Kasha Johnson]

So okay. You okay if I go first, Daddy? Go ahead.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Sex.

[Kasha Johnson]

I will answer that reverse order. I think we're still defining our boundaries.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Okay.

[Kasha Johnson]

Right.

[Gabrielle Union]

How long have you been together?

[Kasha Johnson]

We've been together. Well now it's almost three years come next February. But we're still figuring out, I think what we thought we'd be comfortable with as time has progressed have changed. And then the more things that we step into, the more things that we do, we're like, oh, I thought that would bother me. And then I was, I'm not that bothered. Or you know what, that looks a little too intimate for me or whatever. So there are things that I thought wouldn't bother me that also came up. So I think in our ethical non monogamy, it's more so just a matter of being on the same page. And if you're not sure, checking in. How are we feeling about this? Do we want to try this? Do we not? I would say that our policy is to protect the. Protect home first.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yep.

[Kasha Johnson]

Okay. Right. So we just go about it and ask ourselves, is this something that has the ability to, like, damage homes? Right. And if it has the ability to damage home, then we'd rather do it out. But if it has the opportunity to make the home more fruitful and plentiful, then we might tap, tap.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

What happens if you feel like it could make it better and he feels like it could damage the home? Like. And what things could essentially damage a home in an ethically non monogamous relationship?

[Christopher (Chris)]

Well, the way we handle it is we have these discussions and basically it's like a lawyer presenting a case. If you can present your case and your case makes sense, then we proceed. If you can't prove your case, for example, she can have a sub. She made her case, babe. I want someone that can do laundry. I want someone that can, you know, take care of the kids. I want someone that can rub my feet. And I was like, you know, take.

[Kasha Johnson]

Care of the kids.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Too.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Oh, yeah.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Not a babysitter, not a cleaner. You said I want to sub to do the thing.

[Kasha Johnson]

Well, you know what? It is? Like, most of the time for me, it's gonna be, I've had men and women, but I wouldn't. I've only trusted women, like with my child, My children. And then they're not introduced to them. It's like, hey, here's mommy's little, little girl. Mommy's little princess, whatever. No, they just like a friend to me, you know what I'm saying? There's a period of time in which that person will be under consideration. Like, usually three to six months of where I'm really assessing who they are as a person. And once I feel like, okay, this person's good, you know, in real life, these people have regular lives. They have little cousins.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You just brought a whole new way. That's mommy's friend.

[Kasha Johnson]

Because. Because think about it. How many of us have had friends that we've introduced to our kids, but also our friends that we do things with, right? So you have to protect the child's innocence, right? So if I met this woman who, by day, for example, I had a sub. She was the director at a special needs facility. You know what I'm saying? She had a social work background and a master's degree in child psychology. Why is she not a potential person who could be safe for my child when she is literally qualified in so many ways to take care of individuals? I have an autistic child. I have a child with adhd. And she literally had qualifications. Like, let's just say if I was screening her as a nanny, I'd be like, okay, you know, you'd be great. You'd be great.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You judge that first before you judge how sexually attracted you are to them. Like, I think what comes first?

[Kasha Johnson]

I think, yes, because I'm a demisexual, and if I don't establish a certain type of connection, you could be a bad. You could be bad as hell. But if I don't feel like you're like, we connect in a way that makes me feel, like, drawn to you or anything like that, then it's not going to go that far anyway, right? So I think in that situation, you and me connecting can change my eye. Like, my eye, when I look at you, it can change. So I have not had every person in my life around my. Cause it's only literally been about two people who've made it that far to be exposed to my children and my family, because my family know me Right. And everything that I'm into. So I would say you have to take into account who that person is outside of that lifestyle and then see if you guys also align within the lifestyle. So she loved cleaning the house. She loved folding clothes all. And she had a little bit of a little in her. So she would. She's the one who's gonna watch the Disney movies with them and she's gonna enjoy Mulan, just like they're enjoying Mulan. And she likes coloring books and Lilo and Stitch.

[Gabrielle Union]

I'm trying to fix my face.

[Kasha Johnson]

And I'll tell you why I know.

[Gabrielle Union]

Because I. I realize sometimes when I look like I'm in shock, I look like I'm judging. And clearly this is for all of us.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gabrielle Union]

This is probably the first time I've ever heard of a sub not directly serving the person. And obviously, like, you know, watching children and engaging with your children is that. But I'm just like, damn, I never thought of it that way. Or also, even like in a family dynamic.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gabrielle Union]

Now how do you then. Because, okay, when a sub does something, they want their reward, and that's when we get sexual. How do you. What are her rewards like then?

[Kasha Johnson]

Okay, so there's. So that you let. Hold on.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You let.

[Gabrielle Union]

Not Christopher Wallace giggling.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You giggling. Oh, now why are you giggling?

[Kasha Johnson]

Jiggle. Why are you giggling?

[Christopher (Chris)]

It's all about the rewards.

[Gabrielle Union]

Okay.

[Kasha Johnson]

So it started off with her just being interested in serving me. Right. Technically, she's also identified as a lesbian. Right. At the time when we met her. Cause we both met her in the same space until.

[Gabrielle Union]

What, you fucked her up?

[Kasha Johnson]

No, I'm just playing.

[Gabrielle Union]

Well, she said technically she was a lesbian. Okay, okay, okay.

[Kasha Johnson]

She identified as a lesbian.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

That's the key word.

[Kasha Johnson]

Identified. And I respect a person's identity. Me too. Okay. But what it was is that, like, I met her the first time she got together with me. Outside of that, we went to like, she came with me to a live show to be my support. So I could see how she assisted me in a professional capacity. She was so cute. She came in a little white button down shirt and everything. I was like, oh, you took this shit serious. She had my snacks and, you know, my favorite drinks and stuff in the car. And I was like, I need me one of them. You got a little potential here. I liked it.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yeah. People went.

[Kasha Johnson]

It's so funny because people went in the back, you know, backstage area while we were getting ready for it. And, you know, she was just like feeding my food and pulling up my boots. And everybody was just like, I think I'm doing everything wrong in life. And I'm like, you mean all I.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Had to do was start fucking my assistant? Shit.

[Kasha Johnson]

But you gotta think about it. Like in bdsm, everybody looks at it from the pro side, people who do it just for monetization. There are people who live this right, and they have. Live in slaves. They have people who, you know, and if you think about it from going back in time, those butlers and people who handled the properties and all those type of things, technically that was like a house of service. So for me, if you're going to fit into my lifestyle, this is not just a one off thing. I need to see how you operate in each of them. So she would do that. She would do, you know, different things. After about three or four months, that was the first time I introduced her to. To my little ones as like, hey, this is my, like, just like I would introduce any other female friend. And it was a good connection. Her reward system was pretty simple. She really. She responded to. She loved rough play. She loved heavy impact, whatever the case is. And then also I was kind of working with her on building her confidence. So a lot of stuff that I would do sometimes would be forcing her to affirm herself through pleasure or whatever the case is. So sometimes it was with toys or whatever the case is. But typically it would be that she could. It could be climbing in my bathtub with me and just like laying there or whatever the case is.

[Gabrielle Union]

Forced affirming.

[Kasha Johnson]

Forced affirming. Yeah, you want. You want a little more fro. Play with me.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

By the way, you are probably the best affirmer I've ever.

[Gabrielle Union]

That's the affirmation.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Well, because we.

[Kasha Johnson]

We go to Patreon, check that side out.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Y' all could hear what I got to experience. And literally, words of affirmations is my last love language.

[Gabrielle Union]

But.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh, yeah, I don't need you to tell me I'm lit, bitch. I am so, like, I'm not someone who needs that kind of thing. Everything else comes first. Words of affirmations is last. However, receiving them from you in the capacity that I received it in. In Jamaica. I am awful. No, I swear to God, I was like. And I don't know if you're. I love that you're gonna give us some examples of it, but when I tell you I had never. It made my pussy jump a little bit. My pussy had already just done a lot. But being affirmed by you in aftercare.

[Kasha Johnson]

I want you to get the feet of My praise team.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Come on. Oh, you have a praise team. When I tell you, baby, one of the best experiences in terms of that. So would love for you to give what that is like for her.

[Kasha Johnson]

So in.

[Gabrielle Union]

Let's do a little role play of. With what forced affirmation looks like.

[Kasha Johnson]

Okay?

[Gabrielle Union]

So.

[Kasha Johnson]

So I'm gonna give you that scenario of, like, so you can understand, she had just gotten a new promotion, but wasn't really feeling like she deserved it. People were. You know how it is when you get the job that other people wanted. They have this way of saying she didn't deserve it and X, Y, and Z. So, for example, it might sound crazy, but, like, let's just say you came to me, you had a stressful day at work. People were being shady. People were this and this and that. And I'm like, we're gonna reset that, right? And so it could start off with, like, mild touch and decompression and kind of just taking a moment to get centered. But once I start bringing pleasure into play, right, it's like, I'm going to spank you until you tell me you deserve that job. She's doing the thing, right? And there's a lot of, like, really intense connection. But it might be just like, how are you feeling right now? And she could say, I'm. Tell the truth. I'm not feeling worthy. Okay, what is our goal today? What are we working on?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

See, we're role playing here.

[Gabrielle Union]

We're working on me feeling better about myself.

[Kasha Johnson]

Okay. And by the end of this, you will feel better about yourself, correct?

[Gabrielle Union]

Yes, mistress.

[Kasha Johnson]

And it brings the little girl. I'm so happy you did this.

[Gabrielle Union]

It's my outfit.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah, but it's a. It's a. It's a response of like, you just want to. At first. The day's already been kicking your ass, and people have already been hating on you, and you're already feeling like that, right? I'm not looking to punish you and make you feel worse at this point, but technically, I call it punishment. Right?

[Gabrielle Union]

Cute. Yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

Let's have a good time. So it could start off with those things. It could start off with me grabbing her face and choking and telling me, are you worthy? Do you think you deserve me choking your face? Right?

[Christopher (Chris)]

She's doing the thing.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I know it's.

[Kasha Johnson]

No, no, no.

[Gabrielle Union]

I'm not gonna lie.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

It's the tone. You are so fucking powerful. You said the thing. Oh, my God. No, literally. And. And I think even hearing. And. And I guess that's the other dynamic I do want to ask. I know y' all are switches, but who's more? If I'm watching you, if y' all are watching on YouTube, you have a very dominant presence. What's crazy is again, if you're watching, you see him and you would think dominance, but he comes across so soft in your presence.

[Kasha Johnson]

Uh huh.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And that was something that was so dope to witness because when you think of a big, strong man, you immediately think of someone who just is dominant, is powerful. And again, if you guys listen to the Patreon Episode 1, one of the reasons why I wanted to have y' all on is because you, your presence gives dominance, but also you're much shorter than you appear.

[Kasha Johnson]

It's so funny.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yes.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yes.

[Gabrielle Union]

Really? I disagree.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh no.

[Kasha Johnson]

I'm five nine. But people, I'm like six, four, five, nine.

[Gabrielle Union]

Still tall to me, but I know, but I think.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

But then meeting him and thinking that he would soften you, you softened him in a way that I hadn't seen done to a man who presents like, physically like you.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Well, with her, you know, she's very dominant, but she is submissive with me, okay? So I get the soft side, okay, that people don't get. You know what I'm saying? She's over here, you know, bumping people around, giving orders. This that, you know, go here, go that she be trying to boss me on. Sometimes I be like, yo, shut up, son.

[Gabrielle Union]

You know what you are? You are the classic example of whenever I used to date, football nil, teddy bear, right?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And everybody in the club be scared of you. And I'd be like, my man, right?

[Gabrielle Union]

Love a teddy bear.

[Christopher (Chris)]

But she has this thing of taking care of a lot of people. People rely on her, people depend on her. They call on her every. For every little thing. You know what I'm saying? So who takes care of her? And that's why, you see, when in hedo, I take care of her, she takes care of everybody. I take care of her.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And I think that that was the best thing that I saw. And I don't know. Yalls love languages, but service, while you were teaching people, while you were affirming everyone, while you were just being you. What? It's almost like you read her mind immediately. You were up, getting her napkins, wiping her if she was sweating. Baby, do you need water? And I think for a lot of men, how they can show up with a powerful woman, you don't. A lot of times they either don't know or they sit to the back. So it's really dope. Just seeing you. No shame showing up to serve her in that space.

[Christopher (Chris)]

It was a joke. This is my woman, you know what I'm saying? It's like, if not me, then.

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[Gabrielle Union]

Let's talk about someone judging on the Outside and thinking like, oh, she be slapping him up.

[Kasha Johnson]

Oh, you know what? You know I gotta say this, right?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

He brings the little girl out of me too. He brings the teenage girl out of me too. But I think because I'm the eldest of not just my, my mother's children, but like the generation of those children, I'm the first grand, the first whatever. So I'm used to leadership roles. I went to a military school, okay. So also was a commanding officer in my school. So I'm used to like being the person who has that order of control or whatever the case is. That's a natural role for me, right. Having somebody who you can be submissive to really means having someone whose leadership you can trust, right? And when I say that is there's a lot of guys out there who think dominance looks rah rah, or just because you a big dude, you gotta post up. I said from him, like maybe three weeks into dating, he has this suggestive dominance, right? And I knew I have this, I will tell you guys. And it was like altering to me. The moment I knew I could be submissive to him was actually year one. Three weeks later, my birthday was coming up, right? And typically I'm planning everything, I'm telling everybody where to meet. And I really didn't want those responsibilities. But I have a car that can hold eight people. My family is used to me being sometimes the person who'll pick up everybody to get them there. And I was talking about that and he was like, well, honey, I was thinking, and this is the suggestion, right? I was thinking that you could park your car or leave your car with them. You know, I would be with you. I could drive you up there. Drive with you up there. You leave the car and I bring you back. I will drive you. Where we going on your birthday? Because if you're driving your car, you become the designated driver and then you're not having as much fun as you would want to on your birthday, right? Just so thoughtful. How do you go? How do you combat that? How do I. You almost look teary eyed, you know, it's like, how do I say to that person, I'm doing what I want? That makes no logical sense. I'd be fighting my own like. You know, you're right, actually. I can't get fucked up if I gotta drive. So that night, I'm facing the bottle, Jack Danny in the club. And you knew he was not a care in the world. Not a care in the world. And you just see him looking like security like he always do and shit like that.

[Gabrielle Union]

Just, you know, I'm having a moment that I don't even know with. And I hate to say this out loud because I've just found a great love and a lot of my homegirls are single. But when my friends have been through pain, when they're the one that everybody leans on in the family and they get a good fucking man. Cause niggas ain't shit.

[Kasha Johnson]

But when you get the ones that.

[Gabrielle Union]

Are, you're just like, fuck. And it really can be healing a bit. Not because of the man, but just because of. You get to finally have a caretaker. My ex girlfriend was a caretaker for me too. You know, it's not always male presenting, but like, just to have that in your life when you are, like the leader of a household. Like, I'm. My parents are my kids. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, what do you do?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

They're old.

[Kasha Johnson]

It's the same. I'm in the same space when it comes to that. With your own parents, you're 1,000% on it. And I tell people all the time, even in my relationship, I've navigated a lot, depression, all of that. And people are like, how. How does it hit you now? And I'm like, I finally felt safe enough to fall apart, right? So even those type of things, when you're the person who's always having to have the answers, there's no room for you to not be, you know, within your power at all times or whatever the case is. So I became a master compartmentalizer, right? I knew how to like, oh, let me tuck this here. I'll come back to it later maybe, right? And then I started to realize over time, while I was going to therapy and quote, unquote, doing the work or whatever, which I did at the point of what I could, until I had somebody in my life, him, right? Who I realized that when I'm not at 100, he's at 200, right? That's what made me realize, like, you don't have to be that person all the time. You can say, today's a shitty day. I don't have it in me today. You can. I didn't. There was no room for those things.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I think a lot of dominant, independent women who, again, are in those positions find it hard to sometimes be like, I ain't got it today, because they always have to have it. So to find a partner that you could say that to, and you could be like, it ain't in Me today. And you feel like he can pick up or they can pick up, because it could be, you know, either or it's great to experience when you do experience it.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah. And that's, I think, where the switch comes in. Because if you look at the relationship, he's the lead, hands down. Right? He's the lead. But we also look at it in a situation of. Based on a scenario or circumstance, who's the best to lead? Right. I have skill sets that it's like, okay, yeah, you could be the man. So for the sake of pounding your chest, we're gonna take the harder road. Even though I'm qualified to make this road or this trip an hour less in time, we're just gonna do that for the sake of pounding your chest. It's a lot of those dudes, y' all know what I mean? And it's just kind of like how many women just sit back and be like, okay. And then the end. Oh, you was right, babe.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And da, da.

[Kasha Johnson]

I don't have a man who is too prideful to say this is for you to lead. Right.

[Gabrielle Union]

Oh, that to me is that man.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I do want to ask too, before we get to some of our segments for the show today. She pled her case for the sub. I would love to know what case you want.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I tried to plead marquee, but she was like, I'm your sub. And I was like, all right, case is missing.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh, to have another. Wait to have another sub.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah, like, but that favored me. But then she's my sub.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And she said I could do all.

[Gabrielle Union]

The things that you now tell me where does to me. I'm surprised at that one because it's not super intimate, which most of us ethically non monogamous couples like. We don't want nobody getting to my man. Tell me what about that made you uncomfortable.

[Kasha Johnson]

I'll tell you this. I think it was at the time, because this is important, right? This is almost a year ago that that conversation took place. At the time, we were still fortifying us right. When we met, I was already in the life of being in these things and having subs or whatever the case. This is more like a continuation, but more so I needed him to understand what service he needed. So you have to play the case of outside of what I do for you, what is gonna be needed. And at the time, I didn't feel like he had that answer.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And also, what am I not willing to do? I think that when I think of ethical non monogamy, I don't Believe anyone should go without.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And so if we're in a relationship, like, I remember the conversation being around, like, I like to peg, clearly, you.

[Gabrielle Union]

Know what I mean?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

A lot of my partners, probably every partner that I've been with was not into it. And so the conversation became not if I could just go fuck whoever just to fuck him. If there's a kink or thing that I desire that you're not down for, can I do it with someone else then? And so hearing you talk about that is like, okay, well, was there something. And clearly there wasn't. But did he want something that you weren't willing to do? And clearly at that point you were.

[Kasha Johnson]

Like, I didn't feel. So. But I mean, you. What do you feel, babe?

[Christopher (Chris)]

I still don't have an answer.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You still don't have an answer a year later?

[Gabrielle Union]

Maybe it's just pleasure seeking. Maybe it's just the idea of. Or could it be that. I think sometimes with sub and dom roles in deep relationships or committed relationships. That's what I meant. Maybe Casha, you can't dom the way you want to. Do you feel like maybe another sub you could go harder with? Like, what do you think it could be?

[Christopher (Chris)]

Well, with her, basically it's a blank canvas.

[Gabrielle Union]

Okay.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I can definitely. Sometimes she's like, choke me harder. I'm like, oh, okay. You know? Cause that's my gentle flower, right?

[Gabrielle Union]

Wanna die, bitch?

[Christopher (Chris)]

You know what I'm saying? So I'd be like, okay, whore.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah, I just told. I just told him yesterday. We were getting. We were about to have sex. I was like, hilarious. He is such like a gentleman with his sexual request. Like, not like, I've never heard him say, come like, suck my dick or whatever. Never ever, ever has he ever said that to me. But he would like, honey, I would like some head if you would be.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Willing to suck this dick.

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, can't do it.

[Kasha Johnson]

He's not. Where are you from, Christopher?

[Christopher (Chris)]

From Brooklyn.

[Gabrielle Union]

You?

[Kasha Johnson]

Brooklyn.

[Gabrielle Union]

Where in Brooklyn?

[Christopher (Chris)]

Flatbush.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You from Flatbush and you can't say, yo, come suck my dick.

[Gabrielle Union]

Okay, wait, he's.

[Kasha Johnson]

I mean, he's grew up with a lot of respect. Two parent household, parents married for five decades type thing, you know, so his. I mean, you know, he's got a. I think for him it's a respect thing.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Do you be wanting to be talked to? Like.

[Kasha Johnson]

Oh, yeah, he's gotten. He's gotten better with it. But in the beginning, anything. That's where the boundaries came in. In the beginning, saying like to me wasn't a was a boundary from he. He couldn't do it. So. So I would be in bed.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I like slut.

[Kasha Johnson]

I like slut. Like, like, and depending on the context. Right?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

So instead the trade off was like, while we be doing things, I might say I'm a N. Right. Am I such a. I would say it and let him confirm it. So, like, until I felt like he's comfortable or if he's never comfortable with it, I was also okay with me being the one to say it and him just agree. Yes, you are. You good. Nasty bitch. Just tell me what I need to hear. But I think that that's where I say you're defining the boundaries. I cannot overstep the fact that he's somebody who's been raised his whole life to not be that dude and then tell him to suddenly be that dude comfortably. It would not be real.

[Gabrielle Union]

Cause that dude is the reason you fell in love.

[iHeart Advertising Voice]

Yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

And it wouldn't be authentic.

[Gabrielle Union]

Like, that dude is the one that drove the car. That's the problem. We be thinking we want some fucking rough neck nigga on the tongue.

[Kasha Johnson]

I mean, you don't, you know, I be like, stop. You want Christopher Flatbush? I'll say, though what I will say is, at the time she started off with service to me, eventually she had gotten so comfortable with him, like, because of just who he is. And he didn't have the creepish tendencies that men had that made her uncomfortable. So over time, she also didn't just serve me. Like, she might have been dedicated to me, but if she brought me food.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

He was brought food.

[Kasha Johnson]

If I couldn't, you know, he was in the hospital for a while at one point after a serious car accident. And when I had to, like, travel and she was still back, she would go to the hospital and check in on him and take things and do. So she. He still received service from the person who was serving me. And now I think we're at a point because we've co topped. We're at a point we now we have both together tag teamed and co top these words.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

How the fuck am I still here?

[Gabrielle Union]

I feel like a Republican learning a new gender.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah, co top.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Like, co top.

[Kasha Johnson]

So like, you know, in a BDSM setting, you're having a scene. The bottom being the demo person, because not everybody identifies as sub or, you know, different things. So the bottom being the person who's demonstrated on the top being the people who are facilitating. So we have together co top kind.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Of, oh, I have kopped kind of what you. So it would be considered co. Top what you and sir Marvelous did to me.

[Kasha Johnson]

So we've both taken.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I was about to talk about.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah, so the both of us have stepped into our dominant at the same time and taken on a submissive. In fact, that's technically when I. When she. I was sucking his. You know, and she was just looking at it.

[Gabrielle Union]

Why are you wiggler?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I was sucking.

[Kasha Johnson]

Because I'm trying to. I'm trying to make sure you don't have too many bleeps to do here.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh, no, but we're in. We're already in.

[Kasha Johnson]

Oh, well, I was sucking dick, and she was looking at it with this, like, salivating look. And I'm like, for a lesbian, you seem really interested in this. Like. Like, I'm in a room, just casually. This where she was, like, cleaning the kitchen and stuff. And she had to come in the room and put something down.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And I'm like, she just cleaned the kitchen while you. I need one of these.

[Gabrielle Union]

Yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

And so she was just like, scene again. She was like, goddess. You just make it look so tasty. And I was like, you want to taste it? But then. But then I had to talk to her. Like, let's be clear. Let's make sure that this is what you want. Right? Cause coercion is not a thing we do over here. And you told me that this was a boundary for you. And now you're looking like you want to cross your own boundaries. So we had to have a long talk. But after that talk, how long was.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

The talk before she got on her knees?

[Kasha Johnson]

Before he got soft? It wasn't that long. He wasn't gonna get soft at the thought of any of this. So, you know, hear it casually. So you sure you feel like. You sure you don't, you know, Babe, how do you feel about this? And so, you know. So what she said was, teach me.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh, yeah, you was a good teacher.

[Kasha Johnson]

You know, sexologist. Say my middle name.

[Gabrielle Union]

What the fuck is going through your head when this bitch come in?

[Christopher (Chris)]

I was like, this is happening. Play it cool. That's cool. You know what I'm saying? No problem. I'm with it. Romano.

[Gabrielle Union]

Like, yeah, I love when men admit the cool shit.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah, he be turning into a little. You said the shoulders.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You know what I'm saying? But in my mind, I was definitely wilding. I was like, this is happening because.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You was waiting for it in your mind. But in your mind, you also knew that this was something that.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Because, like, she said, I'm experienced.

[Kasha Johnson]

That and and it's not the first time I've gotten a penis into someone's mouth. So this is like right up my alley.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

This is the friendulum.

[Kasha Johnson]

So I'm giving her to teach distance tonight. You want to put a little bit of pressure here?

[Gabrielle Union]

Yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

And then I was affirming her, oh, you're doing so good. Open your mouth a little while. I want you to breathe down on this. And so after a while, since, you know, she got. She started to get a little more comfortable. And then, you know, we were doing it together. And I'm like, okay, just meet me at the top and kiss me each time and whatever, whatever. And she was just like, okay. And I'm like, you're doing good. So. But she liked her hair being pulled. So at one point, I'm grabbing her hair, I'm spanking her, and as I start doing those things now, she starts going harder and harder. And I'm like, did she do a.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Good job for the first time?

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah, she did.

[Gabrielle Union]

That was her first dick.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And her. Yeah, she was a lesbian.

[Christopher (Chris)]

She was lesbian.

[Gabrielle Union]

But was she a self identified?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Self identified?

[Kasha Johnson]

I feel like she's. I feel like she has, you know, everybody has their college days. Has explored. She definitely spoke to me about her college days, but I don't think that she ever really had an attraction to.

[Gabrielle Union]

First Dick in 20 years. You win.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I'm not gonna lie.

[Kasha Johnson]

That's a. It was pretty. It was pretty interesting. But in the end, and it was. Well, what I probably should mention is also my friend was there too, taping. Cause it was my birthday weekend.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

But no, wait, wait, wait, wait. This was.

[Kasha Johnson]

The whole thing was filmed. It was like impromptu. My homegirl, let me tell you, you gotta have the right friends. Y' all gotta have the right friends. When she saw what was going down, she was like, everybody good with this camera being on?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Cool.

[Kasha Johnson]

If you actually listen to the audio of what was going on, she's like, wait, wait.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

She was cleaning the kitchen. Where was your friend?

[Kasha Johnson]

In the living room. In the living room.

[Gabrielle Union]

We were making content. What was going on?

[Kasha Johnson]

We weren't making content. But the minute that these things started.

[Gabrielle Union]

Wait, what was she filming?

[Kasha Johnson]

Then she came into the room when she. So my friend happened to leave the living room and noticed what was going.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

On in the bedroom.

[Kasha Johnson]

And I said. I said, she was like, this was your birthday? Which girl? You said you wanted to suck on some dick, girl. So that's how my friend talking. She got the little Southernish kind of like soft tone. So once she realized what was going on. And it starts out with me doing this. And then she comes over to my sub, and she was like, go, please your go. She was like, go ahead. She was like, go ahead. Go please your goddess. So she starts. She was like, you're doing such a good job. Look, she likes it. So she starts affirming her in this soft. Like, she sounds like the person who had the best.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

By the way, if y' all are watching on YouTube, me and Uzi just sitting here, like, anytime I could hear somebody have a more slutty life than me, I'm like, whoa, this is real. And I be thinking, you know what?

[Gabrielle Union]

I'm trying to do a good job at not interrupting Mandy's outline, but you're actually the problem. We are 35 minutes in. Y' all niggas got too much. Do y' all live together? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

Let's ask.

[Gabrielle Union]

Cause I feel like us watching at home and us on the couch, we're like, how often are y' all fucking? Because we watch couples like this on a show. Like, decision decisions, horrible decisions. And we're like, oh, they must have. You know, it's all the time. Like, is it really like this? Y' all fuck every day?

[Kasha Johnson]

Uh, every day. Not every day.

[Christopher (Chris)]

It could be every day if time permits. Every day. But then with me working, you know, being tired sometimes. But if it's like a day off. Yes, every day off.

[Gabrielle Union]

What supplements are you taking to get you ready to go? Every goddamn day, baby.

[Kasha Johnson]

It's the hormone surge that you get when you got the right person.

[Gabrielle Union]

Ooh, ooh.

[Kasha Johnson]

I don't need a supplement. He drives the dopamine, for sure.

[Gabrielle Union]

Oh.

[Kasha Johnson]

I think that that's the biggest thing with arousal that people miss. Right? Your body literally is gonna respond. You have somebody who relaxes your nervous system. That's the first thing. Because most people go into it would, like, some anxiety. I don't have that right. When you have a person whose touch literally, like, soothes you, he has, like, these super warm. I call them like, natural heated warmers or whatever. Like, I'm always cold as shit, and then as soon as he touches me, everything warms up. So, no, I'm not Kevin Gay.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Not the Kevin Gaye hands is crazy. They're.

[Kasha Johnson]

They're. They're always.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yeah, no, they're always warm.

[Kasha Johnson]

It's like. If you get a massage, it's like built in hot stones.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

So.

[Kasha Johnson]

So he touches me, and I'm like, you know? But also, I don't have any emotional trauma in my relationship. I don't have any argument that still comes to the next argument. I don't have. Like every time we go through something, it feels like the first time we went through something in the past. I've had relationships where every time they do something, I'm like you that last time.

[Gabrielle Union]

This Cincinnati conflict resolution.

[Kasha Johnson]

I think that's conflict resolution is super key. Like, and so we could literally end a conversation and step right into it. Because after it's done, it's done. We don't fight each other, we fight the circumstance. Right? And so it's never a matter of where I'm feeling like he talked to me a certain way or I talk to him a certain way. It's like, this is my point, this is my perspective. Pedro point your perspective where we land in, right? So because I don't have a person who triggers me 247 or whatever the case is, it's like my body's always available.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And that's probably the problem with a lot of people and how they date. They get people that reminds them of the last nigga who did the fucked up shit. And so now you're coming in with being triggered at everything he's doing because it's reminding you of the last one pretty much.

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[iHeart Advertising Voice]

Run a business and not thinking about podcasting. Think again. More Americans listen to podcasts than ads. Supported streaming music from Spotify and Pandora. And as the number one podcaster, iHeart's twice as large as the next two combined. So whatever your customers are into, true crime, sports, comedy, culture, they'll hear your message. Plus, only iHeart can extend your message to audiences across broadcast radio. And all this reach means everything. Just think about the universal marketing formula. The number of consumers who hear your message times the response rate equals the results. Now let's get those results growing for you. Think podcasting can help your business? Think iHeart streaming radio and podcasting. Let us show you at iheartadvertising.com that's iheartadvertising.com or call 844-844-IHEART. One more time, call 844-844-iHEART and get podcasting working for you.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

So we're gonna get into Truth and Dare. Okay, now I'm gonna start off with, you know, I'm gonna make it simple. It's the Halloween episode. Bitches is dressing up. So I'm gonna have both of y' all do the truth, and I'm gonna have you do the dare. Okay? So for the truth, in the spirit of Halloween, if y' all had to do a fun role play.

[Kasha Johnson]

Mm.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Which characters would you choose for each other and set the scene? So in terms of dressing up, role playing, and if you've done it already, would love to know the story, but just bringing a costume into it. Clearly, at Heedo, we was dressed up every day. But, like, if you could turn her into a character and play out a scene, what would it be?

[Gabrielle Union]

Is this kind of thing?

[Christopher (Chris)]

I think it would be the sexy nurse. She was okay. She had the fishnets.

[Gabrielle Union]

Were you sick?

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, but I would pretend I'd be like, oh, my God, I need to lay down, yo. She is great at role play and she's great at dressing up.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And so the nurse is your favorite.

[Kasha Johnson]

He's gotten the nurse, though, but just not in costume.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I love it.

[Kasha Johnson]

Because when he was in the hospital.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You was role playing in the hospital?

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yes, she was.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Kasha Johnson]

She was at a conflict, literally in the hospital.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Wait, for real?

[Kasha Johnson]

Technically, I know my way around the body now.

[Gabrielle Union]

Your whole ass went up to Mount Sinai and did what?

[Kasha Johnson]

I just like, he was. You tell it, baby.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Oh, so let me tell you what happened? Right? I couldn't walk yet.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

So you literally couldn't walk?

[Christopher (Chris)]

Nah, I broke my femur.

[Kasha Johnson]

Shattered his whole femur. He was.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You role playing in the hospital?

[Christopher (Chris)]

Hell, yeah.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Let's go.

[Christopher (Chris)]

So she comes in with the heels. She had on, like, a blue body suit with, like, the mink. She had shades. You know what I'm saying?

[Kasha Johnson]

It's always exaggerated.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Click clack, click clack, click clack. She said, hey, y' all here to help my man walk? I was like, said, I have my two homegirls there. She just basically was like, all right, can you bring that to him so he can. I was like, damn. I was like, yo, it's my friends, yo. Come on, don't do that. So then she's over there. They leave eventually. Next, you know, she's like, all right, close the door. It's time for Nurse Kinky. And I was like, he had a.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Roommate, too, on other side.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah. So then she's over there. We had, like a. I had, like, a support thing. I had, like a. Oh, his VDS in bed.

[Kasha Johnson]

We're not gonna talk about the bds. It is not a bdsm. Oh, my God. The thing at the top. And it was like the little hook thing or whatever. It looked like you were supposed to put a spreader bar in that. I was like, why, is there a built in?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

No, it's the way you view life. No one else goes in there.

[Gabrielle Union]

You know how I know we are different people? I did the Pilates shit with the 4 poster 1 the other day, and this is like the one that if y'.

[Washable Sofas Ad Voice]

All.

[Gabrielle Union]

I saw the video Pilates by Raven. This is the white Pilates to me. I get up there and the girl told me to grab these things.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I said, oh, it's kind of kinky.

[Gabrielle Union]

She said, no, it's kind of a workout.

[Kasha Johnson]

Oh, not the.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Correction.

[Gabrielle Union]

You got straps up here, bitch.

[Kasha Johnson]

Fuck you pick up for the thing.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Nurse Kinky.

[Christopher (Chris)]

So then at that point, you know, with the medication they kept giving me, I thought I had, like, ed now. Cause, you know, it was really close to the hip, close to the. So I was like, babe, I haven't been hard at all. And she was like, oh, we're gonna fix that.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Wait, wait, wait. And he has like, there's someone that can hear all of this happening.

[Christopher (Chris)]

And it was just.

[Kasha Johnson]

In retrospect, didn't she say she was an ex missingist? I am, but I honestly wasn't even thinking about him. For me. Okay, you gotta imagine you walk into a room you see the love of your life completely on a bed. Can't do anything for themselves. Can't stand. Can't whatever. Couldn't even pull himself up. He's holding the phone, talking to his mother. The phone is falling. He couldn't do anything. And he was on, like, heavy nerve suppressants, right? To help with the pain.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

But nerves are also what drive the nerve endings.

[Kasha Johnson]

And. Yeah, so, like, he's sitting here speaking to me, and after all of this, now he's worried that his dick is not gonna return after all of this is over. So I am in the headspace of I don't care about nothing else. By the time I leave here today, he gonna know that dick is doing fine.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Okay?

[Kasha Johnson]

I don't want you worried about that. We have to get you on your toes, my friend.

[Gabrielle Union]

So what you was doing, you was.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Grabbing it and shit. So then.

[Kasha Johnson]

So then I went into my ho fanny. Cause I always got a fanny pack. You know, I like to be hands free. Always got a little lube, a little.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Bullet, a little something in there.

[Kasha Johnson]

And so I was just, like, playing with sensations to see what he would respond to. But I was, like, holding on to the top of the BDSM bed, and I was, like, hanging over him, and I was like, spank me. You know, doing all these things or whatever the case is. And I was like, spank me right now. And, you know, threaten him. If you don't, I'm gonna turn it up. Like, was it a light spank? Because he was injured. He was starting off with this little small thing, but then after a while, he gave me, like, a grab spank, and I was like, yeah.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh, yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

Like, that's what I'm talking about, babe. So, you know, as I was, like, rubbing it through the blanket first, and then next under the blanket and just talking to him. Cute.

[Gabrielle Union]

Yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

Look at my big boy. He's just right there with that big, fat, you know, just like. You know what I'm saying? Let's check your blood pressure.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

He said, that's my nurse.

[Kasha Johnson]

I'll tell you what. He started to feel a reaction. And, you know, I was like, oh, let's see. I put my lips down there for a few seconds, you know, just to kind of whatever. And I was like, you're gonna walk to that bathroom soon or whatever, you know, I'm gonna affirm that.

[Christopher (Chris)]

The affirmations.

[Kasha Johnson]

It worked. He was. He knew at the end of that day, his dick, that Ed was not gonna be a problem.

[Gabrielle Union]

This is gonna help every medical professional that's listening and can't get their patient where they need to go.

[Kasha Johnson]

You just gotta affirm on that. I wouldn't suggest you go touch on people's.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yeah, don't go touch.

[Kasha Johnson]

Don't lose your jobs. But honestly I think it's just a matter of like everything is in the mind in his head because he was trying to get it to do whatever and it wasn't. And now he's got this woman who he knows this and that. Like that's a big fear. Imagine coming out of a car accident thinking I might not ever be able to have sex with my woman.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I can't tell you how upset I am you did the dare without me even reading it.

[Kasha Johnson]

Oh, did I act out the scene?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

The dare was literally a $0.05 fantasy. Describe a 30 second scene with touch, taste, scent, sound and sight in a.

[Kasha Johnson]

And I did. I tasted it. I touched it. You tested it.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You were talking.

[Kasha Johnson]

I was talking to it. I was talking to him. I fed him fried rice after. It was great.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Like we had.

[Kasha Johnson]

You know, it was great.

[Gabrielle Union]

You know, for anyone listening, that's not a Dom. I think a great tip for me to you. The nurse scenario is the easiest one because that nigga gonna get sick one day. He gonna have a body ache. Something's gonna happen and it's the perfect way to turn into a Dom. You don't think when you hear sexy nursing patient that it's BDS or like Dom bottom sub. But it actually is. It was my first time I ever domed my man. We were going to a wedding but he was too tired. We were hungover from the night before and he was laid out on the couch. He's like I can't do it. And I was like I hate that I have to bring you back to health, but I do. You have to pull your dick out. I have to help you.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You have to help.

[Gabrielle Union]

You have to heal you.

[Kasha Johnson]

You need me.

[Gabrielle Union]

Oh, he's that nigga got right. Let's go.

[Kasha Johnson]

Look, look, you saw. I'm here for you. You're going to stand, you're going to walk.

[Gabrielle Union]

That is three legs anyway to die.

[Kasha Johnson]

All three legs are going to walk.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Now I want to. I want to get into our reactionary because I saw.

[Kasha Johnson]

Let me say this real quick though. I'm going to need you to come home and keep the uniform on one day. That's my fantasy. Okay, wait. Right.

[Gabrielle Union]

He.

[Kasha Johnson]

He already works. Right. And he has gear those natures but.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I don't that's what you want him to.

[Kasha Johnson]

I just want him to tell me what the next stop is. I want him to show me where the tracks are.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I want you to show me where the.

[Kasha Johnson]

Where the roads lead. I want you to signal my. You know. You get what I'm saying? I want you to get in my platform, you know, I want to get on the chain. Yeah, I want you to. I want to get on the.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Chris, she wanted to do this role play. Yeah, yeah, she asked for it.

[Gabrielle Union]

You just got to have a fresh shirt ready.

[Kasha Johnson]

Put me on a Chris Brown DX express train.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You know what I'm saying? I want to see it, but make.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

It local if you want.

[Kasha Johnson]

I'm fine with that too.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Be like, yeah, I want to work and not really go to work and just come back in the uniform.

[Gabrielle Union]

Okay, I'm being real. I don't know if you driving it, but I always wanted to fuck every time. Because, you know, they be looking good and they be looking at you when.

[Kasha Johnson]

You get off the train and them.

[Gabrielle Union]

Niggas be pulling up.

[Kasha Johnson]

I be like, we just talked about this last night.

[Gabrielle Union]

They do.

[Kasha Johnson]

I kid you not. They do.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You know what makes your pussy jump too? When they see that you missed it. But they open the door and they.

[Kasha Johnson]

Open the door for you.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh, my God, that is so nice.

[Kasha Johnson]

Thank you. Thank a lot.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

They opened you just for me. For me.

[Kasha Johnson]

I'mma sit in the car right next to your little boof.

[Gabrielle Union]

Just show a titty. Cause you don't want to get a fired.

[Kasha Johnson]

I was running so late. Thank you so much. I want to come. I'll ride your train.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

It's so funny because my ex was a retired firefighter and I wanted to fuck him in the firefighter uniform. But then do you know they not allowed to even bring him home because there's so much like chemical clothes on it and they're heavy. And I was like, but I want the real uniform. I want the real uniform.

[Kasha Johnson]

I want fit.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I would literally go on Amazon and look at the goddamn firefighter. Like, costumes. None of them hit like the real shit. And they were like. He was like, we're not allowed to even bring them home. Like, there's too much chemicals.

[Kasha Johnson]

What I told you was the other one firefighters. Yeah.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Wait, you wanted him, and I want you to.

[Kasha Johnson]

I want him to do it. Not the little uniform. Because, you know, they be fake their uniform sometimes. They won't do it all the way. I want the conductor's hat with the little bitches that want to be saved so bad. He has it. It's in the car.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Well, the conductor ain't saving nobody. He just riding the big old train stuck.

[Kasha Johnson]

And you got to save one person opening doors, period. Okay, look. Oh, you like when the door opens? It was like, welcome.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I love it.

[Kasha Johnson]

Bienvenidos. It's literally when I was crazy.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Okay, so, you know, I see you.

[Gabrielle Union]

Want to be a little. Wait, are you Latina?

[Kasha Johnson]

No, I'm not.

[Gabrielle Union]

Because I saw the Dominican sex worker video.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yo, that shit.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yo, what is that? What's a Dominican sex worker video that.

[Gabrielle Union]

Y' all started playing Kasha, y', all, you gotta go and see this video. It says me pretending to be a Dominican prostitute.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Wait, oh, that's the role playing Dominican?

[Gabrielle Union]

Yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

You're gonna. My.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I don't want nothing.

[Christopher (Chris)]

She was awesome. I was like. She had the voice was a little hoarse from the trip because I lost.

[Kasha Johnson]

My voice because I said probably.

[Gabrielle Union]

I don't have nothing left for my pussy.

[Kasha Johnson]

I can't give him that.

[Gabrielle Union]

I thought I had it there. I reached out because I touch it.

[Kasha Johnson]

So fat. When I tell you what made you.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Just randomly jump into scene of a Dominican prostitute?

[Kasha Johnson]

I don't even know if you need this.

[Christopher (Chris)]

She's happy. She just does shit.

[Kasha Johnson]

What happened, y'?

[Jim]

All?

[Gabrielle Union]

Npr.

[Kasha Johnson]

I said to him I couldn't figure out where I put our passports coming back from Jamaica, right? So I was like, I'm gonna have to get up there, start sex. Working for the set of custom stages like I thought I had, and I put it inside my pussy and I lost.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah, yeah. It was in the custom stage. It was in a custom style.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

Everywhere I put it, papi. I tried, pero. I don't know. So then I just never stopped. You are a bitch. Gonna do this accent that's gonna get you out of Jamaica. It was gonna keep my ass there and they were gonna trap me.

[Gabrielle Union]

This isn't a good episode for people that are in a struggling relationship because y' all niggas will lose.

[Kasha Johnson]

You happy?

[Christopher (Chris)]

I have everything. Sorry.

[Gabrielle Union]

This is too much wealth in happiness.

[Kasha Johnson]

Well, you know, you have to be like, after someone has had a one year recovery, after someone has had a full on depression. And like, you have to find a way to, like, laugh all the time. Like, our teenage kids run the relationship. Right. And then the adults, like, pay bills.

[Gabrielle Union]

Your kids are five and I have.

[Kasha Johnson]

The older one is 14.

[Gabrielle Union]

And what about your kids?

[Christopher (Chris)]

My daughter's nine.

[Kasha Johnson]

Nine.

[Christopher (Chris)]

But what she meant was the kids within us, the middles.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah. Like our teenagers are. We break out the house. We slide down the side of the house. Like, we. That's the. That's the.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Like, break out the house.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah.

[Kasha Johnson]

Kind of like 80% of the time we act like wild teenagers with each other. And then, like, when we have to do adult things, we step into the.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Adulting sucks.

[Kasha Johnson]

It's annoying.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And adulting is the part that in relationships makes the relationship no longer fun. It's the bills, it's the parenting, it's the cleaning, it's the fuck we're. And now we living in goddamn Cheeto Land. Like, it is scary. Like, with what just happening in the world. So to be able to go back to a time where politics doesn't matter, bills don't matter. We just want to go out and have fun and sneak. Having sex. That makes.

[Kasha Johnson]

That's the teenage side. Like, it's not the little girl. Cause the little girl is good. She's there. Sometimes she gets a little daddy, whatever, whatever. But most of the time it's like, no, I want to be a liberated teenager or whatever the case is. Not a care in the world. But also, like, old enough to be somewhat like, what are your signs? Pisces and Aquarius.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Aquarius too.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I'm a Pisces with Aquarius.

[Gabrielle Union]

Not me crying.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I thought I would never.

[Kasha Johnson]

The empath show on March 17, but.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I also don't see.

[Kasha Johnson]

Oh, we're right there on the 8th. Yeah. So I know you had other.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Well, I want to ask you this because being together for three years, even everything you just said. I'm going to play this clip from Shaunie o' Neal and she talks about something that I think a lot of people deal with in terms of relationships. And this is what she had to say.

[Gabrielle Union]

One thing that I wish somebody had.

[Kasha Johnson]

Told me is that there will be different versions of me as I get older, completely different versions of me. And those different versions require different people, different spaces, different words, different careers sometimes. So I wish somebody had told me that, hey, this the plan you have at 25 and you got this whole career and everything planned.

[Gabrielle Union]

I want this many kids and a.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Husband or I don't want a husband, whatever it is.

[Kasha Johnson]

That's so going to change by 30 and 35. Like your whole perspective, you're going to have to reintroduce yourself to that person every single time. And the people around you are going to have to re. Meet that person every single time.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

So I brought that up because I want to talk about in terms of relationships, for whatever reason, there's never the conversation of who you're meeting right now in year One, if we want to be together for a long time, this isn't going to be the person in five years from now. Again, based on career. If children are born depression, like mentally, we become different people. And I recently had the conversation with actor bae, who's my ex, because we had an eight year difference and he wanted kids. I know I didn't want kids. But the conversation literally turned into. By the time you reach 30, you're gonna have a completely different mindset on who you are, on how life is. And it was interesting being able to have that conversation with someone that I was partnered with, but it's not often had. So I do wanna know with the two of you, what has been the conversations around the inevitable change that will take place. Especially because you said you're still learning your boundaries, you're still seeing what it is. What does that conversation look like between you and what conversations should be had more in terms of dating? I love how you just was like, baby, you got the floor. I love how you.

[Kasha Johnson]

Thank you, babe.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Y' all gotta watch on YouTube. Cause it's okay. Go ahead.

[Kasha Johnson]

You know, I had a politician teach me this a long time. Well, actually, she wasn't a politician, a consultant. I actually came from politics first.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You did everything. God damn it.

[Kasha Johnson]

I know, right?

[Christopher (Chris)]

All the versions, team and all of that business.

[Gabrielle Union]

You could too.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Chess player, 4D chess, underwater, all of that.

[Gabrielle Union]

Come over on Thanksgiving.

[Kasha Johnson]

You'll never leave.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Well, listen, girl, you know, my man.

[Gabrielle Union]

The same city you in, you will never leave.

[Kasha Johnson]

I promise you.

[Gabrielle Union]

No, we have a Nigerian.

[Kasha Johnson]

No, no, no, I don't.

[Gabrielle Union]

But I'm finna come.

[Kasha Johnson]

I don't cook. I entertain. You burn. I put out 19 dishes. Everything's given by myself.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

19 dish desserts.

[Kasha Johnson]

Come on.

[Gabrielle Union]

She got a country booty. And dad lets me know the food. Good. Well, my grandfather's from the Carolina type of ass. And this type of food.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You got a freak. Anna, chef.

[Kasha Johnson]

I cook. I love you.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Love you everything. Look, not what's wrong with her.

[Kasha Johnson]

I got ADHD. He calls it 4K. What you say, babe?

[Christopher (Chris)]

Cuz he be like, I got. I got adhd, I got ocd. And I be like, yeah, she has a led. She got the 4K.

[Kasha Johnson]

I would say this. This is like the smartest. I was 19. I'll never forget this. He said to me, in life, there's no such thing as permanent relationships, only permanent agendas. Right? And when he was speaking about it to me, he was talking about it in the context of politics, obviously. Right? And he was speaking about how the relationships and politics switch up. So don't get too comfortable with anyone, because if your agenda shifts, we could be on the same campaign. And then the minute you start working for the OPP now we on a different page, the relationship changes. I took that and I applied it to everything, everywhere, including my intimate relationships. Because I realized, and let me be clear, this even applies to marriage. Because when marriages and me working with couples for so long, the number one reason that they separate is because they're no longer on the same page. The agenda for one doesn't match the agenda of the other. So now the relationship is impacted. So for me, it's not about making sure that you. You can't predict who you're gonna be in 10 years, but you can stay in touch and check in and make sure we still on the same page. Are we even in the same chapter? Are we in the same book? And when you realize that you're straying too far, figuring out how to realign your goals, like, what are your independent goals, my independent goals, and our relationship goals, and how do we make sure that that progresses and grows with the.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Relationship and with the different versions of how we're showing up?

[Kasha Johnson]

Exactly right? So when you notice and having awareness of self is so important, I cannot begin to say this. Like, emotional intelligence starts with yourself, period, okay? And I tell people all the time, you have to know yourself, be able to regulate, and have to be like, hold on, wait. I realize I'm a little off, or I'm a little this. Some people don't even notice the things within them, but have high expectations of others. So for me, before I go at it with him, I ask myself is this him or is this me? Right after I go through those processes, and I could come back and say, all right, let's talk about this, or where I'm at right now. Or like, honey, I don't know where your head is, but today this is where my head is. Because it's a day to day thing. This is not. It could change by the hour. Actually, I could wake up with one agenda. I'm waking up, we going to breakfast, we doing this, this and that. And he can get up and say, I was planning on going to the gym and doing this, this and that. And then immediately I'm like, oh, I was hoping we could go to breakfast. And now we realize we ain't on the same damn page. What are we doing? So anytime I feel that we're shifting from pages or whatever, ask ourselves, okay, like, where are you? Where Am I. How do we now? So as a couple, I would say my advice ask yourself, where are we now? Where do we want to go? And how are we getting there? Those are the three questions that I would, you know, and if you could define those repeatedly, no matter what's going.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

On, no matter how you're changing, no.

[Kasha Johnson]

Matter how you're changing, where am I now? Where do I. Where do I want to go? How am I getting there? Where are you now? Where you want to go? And then we. Because individually, I could be like, I want to be at this. And in 10 years I could be like, I don't want to do that shit.

[Gabrielle Union]

I'm in a business development program right now for one of my companies and all. Well, it's three of us, business partners. We all had a different answer, kind of. I was like, oh, let's just franchise this. Let's. My goal, honestly, in life is to like, sit the fuck back.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gabrielle Union]

The last two and a half years of dating my boyfriend, he has a job, he's a real estate investor. He has all of his free time and he believes that success, my diff. My idea of success is so different until seeing the freedom in the time.

[Kasha Johnson]

He could change it in his mornings.

[Gabrielle Union]

And what he could do. How I am like low key, a slave to sometimes all of the different things I gotta do. And so figuring out through business, your colleagues, your friendship, where do we want to go? Like that is a question y' all niggas need to ask on a vacation.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah, it exists in every realm because.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

That'S why there's certain friends I just don't travel with. Cause, bitch, you want to sleep the whole time. No, it's giving excursions, babe. Excel sheet. This is what we're doing every fucking day.

[Kasha Johnson]

And you can't travel with people you ain't on the same page with. Because it's nothing worse.

[iHeart Advertising Voice]

Honestly.

[Gabrielle Union]

Imagine if you're on this vacation with Excursion Girl and you know Excursion Girl.

[Kasha Johnson]

And you know you just like to lay at that seat and you want to lay on the beach and just sip cocktails.

[Gabrielle Union]

I am cocktail party at night. Let's sleep until brunch, girl. I don't want to do excursions at.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

8:00Am oh, eight, bitch. Six. Get up, guys. The bus is coming at seven because it's a two hour ride to Excursions.

[Gabrielle Union]

In my head. Think I went on a vacation with Excursion Girl. Actually, it was dumb. We went to Italy together 10 years ago and I remember she had an excursion and me and Vinnie didn't make It. And she felt so disrespected because me and Vinny was like, we going to the gay club till 5am the fuck? We're, like, paid for the excursion. Oh, sorry, girl. We met these people. They're actually going to take us this place to get it. Let's all go together. And the disappointment.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh, yeah.

[Gabrielle Union]

And, you know, the thing that you have to realize is the way someone wants to live their life in relationships, too, isn't necessarily hurting you, because they want a different path. Figuring out where you're going to be is so important. It taught me a lot. I was maybe 22 on that trip, and I remember the way it made her feel. She was like, fuck. Y' all didn't consider me at all. We planned this trip. We in Europe for the first time, bitch, y' all niggas couldn't have done this.

[Kasha Johnson]

Use the word, though. Consideration, right? Like, I don't think that it's just matters of understanding yourself, but as you guys are growing, you're gonna see things in each other. I feel like. And, honey, I think you could speak probably to this, right? When I met him, he always said, you know, he just. I just want to go to work and come home. Right? That's where I feel like the answer was. I don't think that's the answer today.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

But it's also because the way it's changed.

[Kasha Johnson]

No.

[Christopher (Chris)]

When I met her, I was a SOCA junkie. I used to go to the parties.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh, my God, I love it. Carnival. I'm a carnival chaser.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Fling waist, go crazy.

[Gabrielle Union]

All right. Bashing pasta fasa.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Now it's giving Brooklyn. Finally giving Brooklyn.

[Christopher (Chris)]

And then met her, and I was like, damn, I don't want to get up with my soca yo. I don't want to get up with my parties and my carnival because my vacation was carnivals.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

That's where I'm at.

[Christopher (Chris)]

It wasn't no Maldives. It wasn't Jamaica. It was Jamaica Carnival. Oh, okay. Then, you know, that's what it was. And then when I met her now, it's like everything started to come into focus, and it's like, okay, we'll try a different way. You know, now we live in a different lifestyle. I've been to SOCA parties like that. Like, I used to come home in different colors, all of that. You know what I'm saying? So with her now, the focus shifted. And another thing that also happened was being with a woman like her. You see her Instagram, Instagram's crazy. Usually before her, that wasn't my thing. You too out there. I fuck with that. You know what I'm saying? It's like, nah, son. And then it's like you start to realize, like, who are you doing this for? Who are you living for? You living for yourself or the approval of others?

[Gabrielle Union]

Oh, that was some extra honey.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

No, no, no, no. It's funny because I have exes that literally have said the same thing. Like, I thought you were a lot. I normally would not be with a woman who does all that. But then when you get to know the person, what? And this is why I be saying, bro, this is why the niggas be liking the hoes. Cause they at one point think about how all the friends are gonna perceive, how the family's gonna perceive.

[Kasha Johnson]

It's a big deal, your online perception, yo.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Cause. But when you meet the person, oh, man.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And so I love that you just cause it.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Cause you deal with a woman and you always judging him. You're like, yo, all this Ashley shaking, son. Get out of here. And I can't tell mom see that? Oh, you. You talking about what? How much sex you want to talk about. What the fuck, son? And then it's like, you sit down. Yeah, Panama so got to know her, and none of that mattered. None of that mattered.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

None of that matter.

[Christopher (Chris)]

And I was like, yo, she think.

[Gabrielle Union]

You were just gonna fuck?

[Christopher (Chris)]

No. Because of the conversations we had.

[Gabrielle Union]

And on the first date. First. First me.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I was like, yo, I sleep together.

[Kasha Johnson]

The first time we did.

[Christopher (Chris)]

But that was. That was on her.

[Gabrielle Union]

You said she wanted it.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I'm respectful.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You know what's crazy? I do just want to add to this, because we had a similar conversation in Jamaica based on how she comes across online and all these things and just who she's even friends with and all that. I had a misconception of her. And literally just after being around her, her energy. This is even before she affirmed me and we had a little fun, you know, this is before I even bottom for her. I literally came up to her, and I was like, I completely misjudged you.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yes.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You are so like. But I think that that's the thing too, right? A lot of us do judge books by their cover.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yes.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And when you actually get to meet a person, it's energy. It's how they speak. It's what they can even bring out.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Of you, how they treat you. Are they trustworthy? Are they resourceful? What's their best interesting?

[Kasha Johnson]

What do they bring out of you?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

And I was gonna say, when we're Dating. We're checking boxes. We're looking at the. At the COVID first. Not even wanting to flip through the pages of who this person is. Because if I'm not interested in the COVID if I'm not interested in what other people might think of this cover, then I don't even take the time to get to know, open the book.

[Kasha Johnson]

And to be honest. Go ahead. I'm sorry, babe.

[Gabrielle Union]

Oh, y', all. I love being in a crossfire.

[Kasha Johnson]

Slapper. It's like, when I met him, I met the guy who he was, but I asked myself, who is he trying to become? Because, like, we're all at some stage of becoming something else, right? And I don't necessarily. I want to get to know the person and everything about the past and the history, but those days are never coming back. Those are important to know so I could be aware of any potential traumas and things you might have been through and how they might have shaped your mindset and your beliefs. Cool. But when I met him and he said that to me, and then I would talk to him, he had this personality. He was funny. He was charismatic. He was this, this and that. And I'm like, just go home and go to work and come home. It didn't feel right. But I couldn't tell him that I needed him to arrive there. So for me, my role felt like, I just want to introduce you to things, and if you like it, you like it. If you don't, you don't. And I think that discovery has kept us open. Right. To possibilities for what things could look like. Yes. If a person see me and they see me shaking asses and that, they might get the same. The same misconceptions.

[Gabrielle Union]

Sorry.

[Kasha Johnson]

They might get the same misconceptions. Cool.

[Christopher (Chris)]

They always do.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

But.

[Kasha Johnson]

And honestly, I've used that in business to my advantage, because what that makes me is someone you're going to sleep on. Right. You're going to think that I'm not a threat. You're going to think that I'm not a person who can do this and do that. I'm going to surprise you, and I'm okay with that.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I love surprising. Right?

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah, I love that. Awe. So to me, it was like, I will pull people in with those things, but then like, oh, let me teach you this thing. Oh, but let me tell you this thing. Oh, but let me give you this thing. And then before you know it, you're in a conflict because I'm everything that your parent told you you shouldn't want. Yes, you are and, and, and yes, you are.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

But mama, has she changed the minds of your parents?

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, they, they. When they met her, I. It was my birthday and I couldn't walk that great. I struggled up the steps.

[Kasha Johnson]

It was 3 o' clock in the morning. We should say that too.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

That's when you met the parents?

[Kasha Johnson]

At 3 o' clock in the morning.

[Gabrielle Union]

Met him on ACC.

[Kasha Johnson]

It was like, this is what happened. First of all, I broke him out of rehab, right?

[Gabrielle Union]

Bitch, not jailbreak.

[Kasha Johnson]

I broke him out of rehab. He was in rehab and they told me that technically he could leave for 24 hours. And I was like, well, after 12, we had a new day. So after I argued with the people there, which, those are my people, let me give shout outs to them now. We all love each other now, but in the beginning I was like, I'm out. We going somewhere. It's his birthday, we not staying in here. So I packed the wheelchair in the back of the car, he in there. But it was his birthday and his parents hadn't seen him since, like the day of the accident. Really, Right? So I'm like, let's go. I'm taking your mom and dad or whatever the case is. They ain't gonna care that it's 2 o' clock in the morning. They're seeing their son and he's on his feet, Right? When last time they saw you, you were in a bed like that, right? So they get in there. But the only thing that drove me crazy about it is that I was wearing this, like, tank top that says sexercise and like, basketball. His basketball shorts from the thing Parents.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

With a sex society.

[Kasha Johnson]

I promise you nothing about this, man.

[Gabrielle Union]

Your hair was long covering it.

[Kasha Johnson]

It was not. I had on. I literally had on his basketball shorts.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Looking like y' all just fucked.

[Kasha Johnson]

I don't care. I swear to God. I swear to God. So now I'm over here, like, I'm walking in the house. I'm coming. We coming in and, you know, sitting down. And I'm just like casually trying to keep myself this way. So you can't be reading my tank top. Because Caribbean parents we talk about here.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Very conservative, very conservative.

[Kasha Johnson]

I don't feel like that day. And I don't know, baby, if you agree. I don't. I don't think his parents cared about anything else. Right. Okay, then that's what I like. His mom and his dad was watching everything, his every movement, all this kind of stuff. And, like, I'm like carrying his ass with a step damn near and whatever. And I don't think they saw anything else. But, I mean, you know your parents better. But that day we were talking, it was just like, how's your progress? And this is the that. And he's like, oh, Mom. You know, she's been taking care of me and this, this and that. So, like, I feel like we met in an environment that I was like, Jesus Christ. I met his parents at 3 o' clock in the morning. Everything about our life is crazy.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Meanwhile, that was like the best first impression, because it was honest, it was genuine, it was spontaneous, it was real, it wasn't scripted. And you wasn't supposed to meet them. You were supposed to help me up the stairs and open the door, like, hey, surprise. But then I couldn't stand enough. She had to help me up the stairs because up the stairs was a problem. These little four steps messing me up. So she helped me up the steps and then she's just like, oh, I can't get back in the car.

[Kasha Johnson]

Come inside, come inside.

[Christopher (Chris)]

And then she came inside. And next, you know, she's there trying to hold her, you know, trying to hide the shirt. And Pops is watching mom.

[Kasha Johnson]

And I took an edible on right here.

[Christopher (Chris)]

So she was.

[Kasha Johnson]

I was not prepared to meet his parents. The edible hadn't kicked in yet. It kicked in in his parents living room.

[Christopher (Chris)]

But she knows how I am. She knows I'm very, you know, drop her shoulder, charge through Titan. Titan with it. You know what I'm saying? I don't care.

[Kasha Johnson]

He's just as proud as hell of his little high, poorly dressed, 3 o' clock in the morning girl holding my hand. He's like, this is the girl, Mom.

[Christopher (Chris)]

This is.

[Kasha Johnson]

I was like, babe, it's kicking in real strong. We gotta go. Like, we gots to get up now.

[Gabrielle Union]

Kicking in real strong. I am so sorry, everybody. I don't want to have a white couch situation. I got a little emergency.

[Kasha Johnson]

Go, baby, go, go.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Well, I was actually about to wrap up this episode. We didn't even go to my outline.

[Kasha Johnson]

Jesus.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

We didn't even do the outline. But this was so good.

[Gabrielle Union]

Thank you.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I am so glad that I met y'.

[Christopher (Chris)]

All.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Y' all are. This is the example of, like, black love. What the little shit y' all be seeing? This is black love.

[Kasha Johnson]

I mean, we left them with so many stories. Cliffhanger. We might have to give that back to them later, right?

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Listen, listen.

[Kasha Johnson]

They're like, wait, finish the thing about the sub. Wait, come back to the.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Let me tell y', all, if you want to hear More of our stories, though. We shared our entire. Pretty much our entire. I think I left out one or two stories.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

But we did two episodes of Stories from Hedonism.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I can't wait to see that.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

You know what's crazy, though? The only story I don't think we fully got was the last night I saw y' all in the dungeon.

[Kasha Johnson]

Oh, yeah, that was. We didn't get to that.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

We didn't even get to that.

[Kasha Johnson]

We didn't get. We got to just. We'll set up. We gonna have to get together.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

We.

[Kasha Johnson]

Are we gonna get together? Yeah.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Well, where can people listen to you, support you, hire you all the things?

[Kasha Johnson]

Well, so we have a page together. One, I'll say. That is the soft and the strong. I love that on Instagram. And we just kind of started that recently, so we're putting up more couples focused content and things like that. But outside of that, if you search your sexologist bestie Cash, you'll find me or your sexologist bestie.

[Gabrielle Union]

I'm Googleable.

[Kasha Johnson]

We worked hard for this.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Your sexologist bestie.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yep. Sexologist bestie is my brand entity for that side of the work. But you can find [e-mail]. that's K A S H A like Kash. Check johnson.com. and that leads you to all roads. I mean.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Period.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah, but that's the best way to connect with me because I have so many different things going on, and I think, head over, figure out what's there, and dial into whatever feels like it connects to you.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I love it. I love it. I love it.

[Christopher (Chris)]

And, Daddy, I go by Big Black Supervillain or Sir Panama if you're nasty. But Big Black Supervillain is my main name. It's a Persona. It's a thing that I run with, and it's been me ever since.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I mean, and you're dressed like a supervillain.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yes.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Yes, you are.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yes.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Well, guys, thank y' all so much. Hopefully, this gave horrible decisions.

[Gabrielle Union]

Bitch.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

I think y' all been missing a little bit, and we gave it today, I think.

[Kasha Johnson]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Oh, we gave it to him.

[Kasha Johnson]

We gave it a little bit of that. Yeah.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

Y' all make sure that you're safe, that you dress up, that you watch your surroundings this holiday weekend. Have fun. But also, if you haven't yet, make sure you purchase our book, no Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. And again, you want to hear all the stories from our trip at Hedonism with Choco Bliss, make sure you join us on Patreon. That's patreon.com. horrible decisions. If y' all thought this was nasty, boy, was that even nastier. And she gives a whole demonstration on all the things. I'm just doing the motion. Y' all know what it is. Thank you guys so much. This has been another episode of Decisions, Decisions.

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[Jim]

You know what your customers are doing right this second? The exact same thing. You are listening to me. Which, let's be honest, is kind of flattering. But my point Is, ads on iHeartRadio actually get heard in the car, at the gym, on the couch, while people are walking their dogs.

[Kasha Johnson]

Who's a good boy?

[Jim]

Who's a good boy?

[Kasha Johnson]

You're a good boy.

[Host (possibly Mandy)]

That's right.

[Jim]

So why not make the next ad about you? Get started today. Call 844-844-IHEART or go to iheartadvertising. Com. That's 844-844-IBEART or iheartadvertising. Com.

[Kasha Johnson]

This is an iHEART podcast.