EP 448: Bump Bump Bump (feat. Ryan Mitchell)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Decisions, Decisions – EP 448: "Bump Bump Bump" (feat. Ryan Mitchell)

Release Date: November 24, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B, WeezyWTF
Guest: Ryan Mitchell (The Slay God)

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Overview

This Thanksgiving-themed episode brings together Mandii B and WeezyWTF with special guest Ryan Mitchell, also known as The Slay God—host, pop-culture commentator, and advocate for intersectional queer and trans narratives. Together, they push boundaries while discussing non-traditional relationships, queerness in sports and entertainment, sex positivity, and gratitude. Laced with signature humor and candor, the episode dives deep into personal journeys, gender identity, dating disasters, kinks, and holiday traditions, all while challenging mainstream social expectations.

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1. Introducing Ryan Mitchell & Early Banter

(03:11–08:07)

• Ryan's Introduction:

  • Ryan is introduced as a versatile creator: podcast host (High Key), media journalist, entertainment consultant (GLAAD), and the NFL’s first LGBTQ+ brand ambassador.
  • Mandii and Weezy express excitement, emphasizing they've wanted Ryan on for years.

• OG Banter:

  • Playful debate over what makes someone an "OG."
  • Jokes about new-versus-old generations' "OGs" in streaming and pop culture (Kai Cenat, Keke Palmer).

Notable Quote:

"I'm thankful for knowing how to peg. That's all I'm gonna say."
— Mandy B (03:15)

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2. Ryan’s Career and Queerness in the NFL

(07:18–11:50)

• Entertainment & Activism:

  • Ryan discusses dual work in broadcasting and curation, highlighting interviews with A-list celebrities.
  • Mentions pivotal role in the NFL as a bridge to queer audiences; conversations on inclusivity in sports.

• Queer Athletes & Football Culture:

  • Hosts discuss Michael Sam’s coming out, sports culture's slow-paced progress, locker room stigma, and the need for safe spaces for queer athletes.
  • Ryan shares experience launching "The Exchange"—a dinner/event connecting Black and queer trans folks with NFL execs.

Notable Quote:

"I love being told, like, historically that I don't belong in spaces, and then being like, bitch, actually, I'm going to be in this space..."
— Ryan Mitchell (09:16)

Timestamp: 09:16

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3. Hot Takes: Queerness, Representation, & Social Ignorance

(11:50–16:59)

• Weezy’s Take on Out Players:

  • Expresses concern that only top-level athletes (big stars) have job security enough to come out safely.
  • Conversation on ignorance in everyday spaces about queer sports fans.

• Queer Leagues & Sports:

  • WNBA as a space for queer representation; recent incidents of fans throwing green dildos onto courts/fields are humorously dissected.
  • Discussions veer into prank/content culture and social stunts.

---

4. Truth or Dare: Dating Disasters & Sexual Comedy

(21:48–32:06)

• Truth:

  • Ryan shares ghosting a date because he wore a poncho and "brunch boots" to his birthday.
  • "You're in a poncho like you're Deanna Jones on my birthday...I'm done." (23:06)

• Dare:

  • Gives a true crime-style retelling of a date gone wrong—love-bombed by a Sagittarian who ghosted after not being let upstairs.
  • Reflection about the rush of whirlwind romances, love-bombing, and not settling for those who don't fully accept their authentic self.

---

5. Kink Courtroom: Sex Positivity on Trial

(33:28–43:59)

• Segment Format:
  • “Order in the Court!”—Cases presented, defended or prosecuted as hot/sex-positive or a "kink felony."

Case 1: Refusal to Sleep Over

• Ryan: Defends it. Enjoys personal space, especially in dating phases.
• All agree; snoring and sleep issues may make this preferable.

Case 2: Bringing Up Kinks Early

• Ryan: Defends talking kinks during first dates, but prefers it after some rapport and context.
• Discusses dating apps for queer communities (Grindr, Scruff, Jack’d, etc).

Case 3: Arriving With a Duffel Bag of Sex Toys

• Ryan: Prosecutes. Too forward, especially with extreme kinks or no prior discussion.
• Shares story of a first date ending with an unexpected attempt at fisting.

Notable Banter:

"Anybody who brings a duffel bag of sex toys means they are probably very kink...like full on fisting folks."
— Ryan Mitchell (42:36)

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6. Polyamory, Pegging, and Relationship Structures

(43:59–48:26)

• Kirsten talks about having multiple boyfriends—her "polycule"—and how each relationship values transparency and communication about kink and play.
• Open discussion on non-monogamous structures, negotiating boundaries, and sharing pleasure.

---

7. Holiday Traditions: Food and Identity

(52:24–56:17)

• Friendly debate: Pumpkin vs. sweet potato pie, and how certain food preferences map to cultural identity.
• Humorous observations about biracial identity markers and stereotypes—"septum biracial" as a running joke.

Notable Quote:

"I think y’all represent the spectrum. Biracialists very well. Like, you’re like septum biracial, and you’re black, black, black biracial. So…it’s really beautiful to see the range."
— Ryan Mitchell (54:00)

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8. New Attitudes Towards Sex & Gratitude

(59:19–72:57)

Gratitude in Dating

• Ryan: Grateful for a first, tumultuous real relationship that taught boundaries and self-worth.
• Hosts echo gratitude for experiences that fostered personal growth.

Gratitude in Relationships

• Weezy: Shares how her first loving relationship with a woman redefined her ideas on romantic love and allowed her to love more deeply, even with men.
• Kirsten: Discusses being bisexual but "hetero-romantic" and enjoying sexual but not romantic relationships with women; expresses desire for a bisexual male partner.

Gratitude in Sex

• Mandy B: Overcame religious shame about sex and now embraces sexual exploration—within boundaries of trust and hygiene.
• Kirsten: Thankful for exploring public sex in normalized, community-based environments.
• Weezy: Credits sleeping with women with increasing confidence in her own body and appreciation for diverse expressions of sexuality.

Memorable Closing Insight:

"The more women I slept with, the more comfortable I was with my own body."
— Weezy (71:42)

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9. Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "Just because my voice is high in the octaves does not mean I won't break your back. So don't try me, period."
  — Ryan Mitchell (30:15)

• "If it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be Tide."
  — Mandy B (ad joke callback, various timestamps)

• "Let's throw the ponchos out. Throw 'em away. And I'm not gonna lie, fellas…I don't think I've heard of anyone that likes brunch boot."
  — Kirsten (73:00)

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10. Recommendations & Plugs

• Ryan’s podcast: "High Key" (new episodes every Monday)
• Hosts' book: "No Holds Barred: A Dual Manifesto of Sexual Exploration and Power"
• “Horrible Decisions” podcast continues (new content on Patreon for $5/month)

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11. Episode Takeaways

• Authentic Connection Matters: Find partners who embrace your true self—sexually, spiritually, and emotionally.
• Sex Positivity Looks Different for Everyone: Communication and context are key to comfort around kinks and boundaries.
• Gratitude in Growth: Disastrous or awkward moments may yield life’s best lessons and personal clarity.
• Taboo Topics Have Power: Open, vulnerable discussions chip away at stigma and foster deeper understanding.

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This vibrant episode embodies "Decisions, Decisions" at its best: real talk, big laughs, and heartfelt sharing—all in the name of sex, love, and living authentically.

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For specific segments, refer to these timestamps:

• Ryan’s career and queerness in sports: 07:18–11:50
• Truth or Dare / Dating Disasters: 21:48–32:06
• Kink Courtroom: 33:28–43:59
• Polyamory and relationship structures: 43:59–48:26
• Gratitude in dating, relationships, and sex: 59:19–72:57

Transcript

[Mandy B]

This is an I Heart podcast.

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Hey Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a.

[Mandy B]

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[Kirsten]

So that means half day.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 months Plan.

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[Mandy B]

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[Kirsten]

I don't think you should say decisions, decisions. It sounded like you was talking it.

[Weezy]

Kirsten, you definitely say to welcome.

[Kirsten]

Welcome to the new podcast.

[Weezy]

Oh, wait, you wanna say it together.

[Kirsten]

Decisions, Decisions. Hey, guys. Welcome to another episode. Give thanks, bitches of Decisions, Decisions. I'm your girl, Mandy B. And I'm not gonna throw my akas in there today, but I am thankful for knowing how to peg. That's all I'm gonna say.

[Mandy B]

Okay.

[Weezy]

Hey, everybody, I'm Weezy. We're back for another episode and we have a guest. He.

[Mandy B]

They.

[Weezy]

Girl.

[Kirsten]

Girl.

[Weezy]

Bitch.

[Kirsten]

I'm really excited because we just had.

[Weezy]

A conversation about gender neutral same. Oh, we gonna talk about all of those things.

[Kirsten]

And our guest is Ryan Mitchell, AKA the Slay God. And I can't believe finally here have been wanting to have him on for three years now.

[Mandy B]

Easily. Yes, for sure. And I mean, at least three pod. I was on the other pod. Rest in peace. I was on the other pod.

[Kirsten]

RIP.

[Mandy B]

But I'm most definitely happy to be here here with you.

[Weezy]

These are.

[Mandy B]

Y' all are the og.

[Kirsten]

Not only are you happy, you're thankful.

[Weezy]

This is the second time. What this week. That he was like, oh, gee. And I'm like, that means.

[Mandy B]

No, it doesn't.

[Kirsten]

No, it doesn't. OG does not mean og.

[Mandy B]

You can't be an OG if you're young.

[Kirsten]

You can be an OG if you started something.

[Weezy]

And baby OG besides Ky Sanat Beyonce.

[Kirsten]

Keke Palmer, period. Okay, Keke's good, but she's the OG.

[Mandy B]

Kiki is good, I guess.

[Kirsten]

And she's the OG. Yeah, so is Kai Sanat OG. And then like 20 people.

[Mandy B]

I just didn't know if y' all went to the kids guy.

[Weezy]

We can't pick Kiki Palmer just wanted.

[Mandy B]

To be in the same category as Kai.

[Weezy]

No, no, no. I'll say so.

[Mandy B]

Okay.

[Weezy]

I think Kai is an OG in streaming.

[Kirsten]

First off, her thoughts are shit.

[Weezy]

Somebody would probably say he's an eye. They would probably say academics. But I think that's a different type of stream for Kai to have the follow through Stream, like, following. Watch me 24 7. Like, full on livestream. The only time we ever saw that was porn. Like, you got to pay for porn. Like, I don't know if y' all ever seen. Maybe I'm just horny.

[Mandy B]

I just said, who's livestreamed porn before?

[Weezy]

So they be doing these little whorehouses. And I don't mean that how it sounds, but basically they'd put cameras in there. You could watch them in the shower. You could watch this, and they would livestream.

[Mandy B]

Like, is this like old school hbo? Like, after House did it. Okay.

[Weezy]

They evolved to that. The Bunny Ranch did it. And then there were different, I think, like, different umbrellas of, like, porn companies. And so they would do it with men, they'd do it with women. They had a Latina house, and it would just be like a week subscription of it. Anyway, let's talk about the castle.

[Elevate Health Advertiser]

I love.

[Mandy B]

Not only that, but I love a porn historian.

[Kirsten]

I'm not now. I wanted to just introduce y' all to Ryan in case y' all didn' you know, ever seen their content, you know, everything that they be on. So he's one of the voices behind High Key, which is a weekly podcast co hosted with yvie. It is an I heart podcast. So you not a cousin, but you like a distant cousin?

[Mandy B]

Yes, for sure. We.

[Kirsten]

I heart, too, but. Black effect. Yeah.

[Mandy B]

But I feel like we're like sisters in a way.

[Kirsten]

You know, just a little way.

[Mandy B]

Like stepsisters, same mama, different daddies.

[Kirsten]

Period, Period, period. Also a voice in entertainment. Pop culture has been on mtv. We did the MTV Movie Awards together a few years ago.

[Mandy B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Kirsten]

And also, which I really love that you're doing, you do a lot, a lot. A lot of. I mean, panels, conversations with glaad.

[Mandy B]

Yes. Love them. Over there.

[Kirsten]

You serve as a senior consultant for GLAAD's entertainment and communities of Color team, where you champion intersectional queer and trans narratives across film, television, and sports.

[Mandy B]

Absolutely. Who sent you the bio?

[Kirsten]

Listen, Come on.

[Mandy B]

Listen, Come on, chatgpt.

[Kirsten]

You know, my husband. You know what's crazy? I literally had to tell my husband, like, give me more. Cause I know. Include the glass stuff. I said, I told Chad, give it to me, hon. By the way, just send me three paragraphs.

[Weezy]

What you did. I remember when I would see you across my feed, I'm like, you know, when you see someone, you're like, they make content. Are they an influencer? But then you don't want to belittle someone and say, influencer, not the seller.

[Mandy B]

Thank you so much for asking. Saying that, because I do think I'm one of those people that have, like, I'm good at a lot of different things, so it's really hard to put me in a box. But what people know me for is, like, my broadcast work and interviews. So I have, like, I've interviewed everyone from Keke Palmer to Lizzo to Billy Porter to everyone in, like, a long, storied radio career. And then I moved on to MTV and did some interviews there. And then the after show for the VMAs, like, every. Every about four years. Host is then, like, I'm a host and journalist at, like, my core. But then I started to veer into. Because of my network, I started to veer into, like, curating work. So I, like, the NFL, reached out and was like, will you be our, like, first LGBTQ brand ambassador and help us connect with, like, queer audiences?

[Kirsten]

Yes.

[Mandy B]

The NFL.

[Kirsten]

The NFL.

[Mandy B]

Literally, I was the NFL.

[Kirsten]

It's crazy.

[Weezy]

I was in the NFL. Not a bad Bonnie NFL.

[Kirsten]

I mean, it's interesting, too, when you. And we might have talked about.

[Mandy B]

But when you.

[Kirsten]

But when you got with the NFL, it's interesting because clearly they had all the beef around not caring about the BLM movement for sure. But it was interesting that they really did want to tap into, like, LGBTQIA stuff, because who was the footballer that came out was openly gay and maybe only lasted, like, a season or two. It was something. Sam.

[Mandy B]

Or something. Michael Sam.

[Kirsten]

Michael Sam.

[Mandy B]

No, he was a black guy.

[Kirsten]

He was. He was a black queer male that literally, when he came out, as. As.

[Weezy]

Oh, the boyfriend was white.

[Mandy B]

No, no. Well, that's R.K. russell.

[Kirsten]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

But also Michael. Michael Sam also has a white boyfriend, too.

[Kirsten]

But when he came out, it was, like, interesting because for the first time, it was the conversations about locker room etiquette all. And it was really, like, ignorant around those conversations, like, as if, first off, it's a team of 60 men. There are definitely more than just one guy.

[Weezy]

Did you get to go in the locker room yet?

[Mandy B]

No, I did not. And I don't know if I want to. I don't want to be that close to men.

[Kirsten]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

I don't want. I should say straight men.

[Kirsten]

I don't.

[Mandy B]

You know, I mean, that's the thing. Like, I. I love being told, like, historically that I don't belong in spaces, and then being like, bitch, actually, I'm going to be in this space. I'm gonna thrive in this space. You can't tell me what to do. And that's how I kind of, like, entered into the world of, like, football. I'm not necessarily a fan. I love. Kind of, like, it from a cultural, pop culture, like, perspective, like, knowing that, you know, the quarterback of the Buffalo Bills, like, wife is Hailee Steinfeld, the girl from, like.

[Weezy]

Oh, really?

[Mandy B]

Literally, like, I'm like.

[Kirsten]

I can feel like that's the.

[Mandy B]

I like documentaries. I like watching, like, people just really be good at what they're doing. And so that's my entry point. But, like, when it comes to, like, being a bridge between, like, black and brown queer folks who have never really been accepted in this space for sure. Like, the NFL. Yes, is the NFL. But, like, people don't give a fuck about that. They need to feel like you're. They're trusting you to be into this space, and it feels safe. And that's what I was.

[Kirsten]

Oh, I was gonna say, I wish there was, like, more things around entertainment that leaned into that.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

I went to a Broadway show maybe, like, three years ago, but it was based around baseball.

[Mandy B]

Is that the last Broadway show?

[Kirsten]

No, no, the last Broadway show I went to was Whatchamacallit. Oh, actually, wait, I'm lying. I was gonna say it was the one with Denzel, but it was actually the one that had Tank, and it was based around Alicia Keys. Oh, when I say so good, so good. Hell's Kitchen.

[Mandy B]

Yes, Hell's Kitchen.

[Kirsten]

But mind you, there was another Broadway show I wanted to go to. Just wanted to go to, because I could see Jesse Williams dick. Yeah. Oh, yes. So it was based around him being a gay baseball player and how people were treating him.

[Mandy B]

There were bags.

[Kirsten]

First off, it was being black, but then it was him being. And I saw mad dicks. But his dick was the biggest. The way the water cascaded off of it was great. But the story around it, I made.

[Mandy B]

A great decision coming on this pod. It was a great decision.

[Kirsten]

It was just really good. And so I wish, like, there could be maybe more things in entertainment around what a queer identity looks like in America's sport, which is football. You know what I mean?

[Mandy B]

So I love that you're doing that. There's things that are growing. Like, I was able to come up with a program called the Exchange that was, like, a cultural dinner experience. And I partnered with the team, and we took, you know, a group of black and queer trans folks to their first football game, and then we had a beautiful dinner.

[Kirsten]

I love that.

[Mandy B]

And, like, I got to, like, they got to sit down and actually, like, eat dinner with, like, NFL Execs and talk about the things they're working on and help kind of be an amplifier for all of the work. Because a lot of times when people like these institutions do DEI work, they're like, oh, my God, we're leaders. We're doing this. We've been doing. And it's like, actually, no, these black and brown queer folks are actually doing this.

[Weezy]

You know, I have a hot take about this.

[Commercial Announcer]

Please.

[Weezy]

And I don't mean it, because I know that it's good for everyone to come out.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

I actually would be really terrified for a large player. Not someone that's a. Mid. Sorry, like a mid player. Not a large player. Because a large player could do anything they want.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

You're someone that's big and known. You can come out. I feel like if you're in the middle, it may actually stop you from opportunity.

[Kirsten]

Oh, yeah. Michael, Sam. I don't think very long.

[Mandy B]

I mean, but there's. I think he was unfortunately, like, a pioneer and, like, example. But it's no, since I feel like it's still very rocky.

[Weezy]

And then we go from there.

[Kirsten]

Right.

[Weezy]

Because what I'm thinking. So I say this to say. My best friend loves the Patriots. He's from Boston. And I remember you white. No, you're black.

[Mandy B]

Oh. I love finding out black people are in Boston.

[Weezy]

Oh, right.

[Kirsten]

We think all the time. When we do our tour. When we do our tour stops in Boston, we be like, hey, didn't know you were here.

[Weezy]

So Massachusetts has a lot of Caribbean, like, Haitians.

[Mandy B]

Really?

[Weezy]

Lot of Haitians, like, and Eritreans. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Every time I meet somebody, like, I'm like, oh. So anyway, we get to this bar and. Cause he wants to watch the game. So I'm on the phone and I'm dating this hood n at the time. This is a long time ago. I've recovered.

[Mandy B]

You've reformed.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

Okay.

[Weezy]

So he was like, damn, it's that many gay niggas watching football. And so I'm laughing because I'm like, yes, they're men. Men like sports. I just thought they was like, you know, when you be saying, vinny, go to kickball, they, like, play sports. You know what I'm saying? Like, be around each other and shit. Them n really in there, like, watching. And so what it made me realize, as ignorant as it is, ignorance is it. We just don't associate queer people ever being in our space. So that's why you never know, like.

[Kirsten]

If they are gay and they want.

[Weezy]

To watch around whatever heat bar he's at. They ain't going to tell you. They're not going to feel it. They're not going to be comfortable. They're not going to be out.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

And so what I learned from that whole moment was, oh, my God, imagine how many gay players are there and can't say shit.

[Mandy B]

And my thing is, even if there are gay players in the league, which I think statistically there probably are, my thing is, who gives a fuck? They probably. You're probably the last piece of, like, type that they're even attracted to in that locker room. They don't give a fuck.

[Kirsten]

It's crazy, because when we think of, like, queer leagues, of course my mind goes straight to wnba. And now they just want to keep throwing fucking green dildos everywhere.

[Mandy B]

But are they really.

[Kirsten]

Did you not. This happened months ago. Did you not see they were throwing green dildos? This was when the playoffs was happening, I think.

[Weezy]

Oh, I thought they did it once.

[Kirsten]

No, they did it, like, three or four times. And then recently in NFL preseason, they threw a green dildo onto a field again. No, but it's a green dildo.

[Mandy B]

That is a very specific.

[Kirsten]

Hold on. Let me ask the engineer.

[Mandy B]

That's not why it was. Green is very specific.

[Kirsten]

I don't know why. No, they've been.

[Weezy]

Oh, maybe they're just trying to keep up with theme.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, I get. I mean, if you're gonna stick with.

[Kirsten]

A color, why green?

[Weezy]

And they were like, all right, let's just keep doing it.

[Kirsten]

I don't know how they're just even like, are they strapping?

[Mandy B]

Are the colors green?

[Kirsten]

No, no, no, no. Because it was. It happened. So. So team. The person that did it in Atlanta at the Atlanta Dream Game, I think actually got, like, arrested. But it started, like, I don't know, maybe in Phoenix, But I don't know.

[Mandy B]

How you can bring that in. I thought they have security.

[Kirsten]

If you struggle. What is not metal.

[Mandy B]

That's true. It's. It's silicone. But you got to pick.

[Weezy]

I brought a lot of things in, my friends. Be like, they ain't got. We ain't paying $20 for drinks. I'll put all of them.

[Mandy B]

That's crazy.

[Weezy]

What are these little bottles called?

[Kirsten]

Shooters.

[Weezy]

What are they called? Were you sneaking them? I run.

[Kirsten]

Oh, by the way, hold on. Not even just green. Lime green. It happened. And look, none of these colors. So. For the NFL, it happened during a preseason game between the Vikings and the Titans. Neon green as well. Thrown on the field. I don't know why they're throwing lime green Dildos. But, yeah, there you go. Happened over the summer.

[Mandy B]

People are so annoying.

[Kirsten]

They are. They're really.

[Weezy]

You know what this is? You went and purchased your content guy. Let's do shock value prank.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. And it's like, gives me the ick. Like, who sent you, Mr. Beast?

[Kirsten]

Like, not. Who sent you, Mr.

[Weezy]

Beast. I thought that was a good one.

[Kirsten]

I know he's. He's questionable for a lot of.

[Mandy B]

I question anyone.

[Kirsten]

Oh, I love him.

[Mandy B]

I question anyone who will put pe someone in a burning building and tell you to, like, get out. And then I'll give you a whole bunch of money that is like, literally just doing squid games all over again.

[Kirsten]

No, it's literally that. Because someone even said he could die just from the smoke in Al. Like, why Escaping. So he's doing shit crazy that it.

[Mandy B]

Plays into, like, the fact that people are literally poor.

[Weezy]

What if squid games for, like, white people.

[Kirsten]

But, like, no, it was a white person. It was. It was white people. It was a white person escaping. Right?

[Weezy]

I actually don't squid games category. And we could watch.

[Mandy B]

Do you need an ep?

[Kirsten]

I mean, it's weird because, I mean, I'm just saying white people be poor too. But I agree with you. I think that's the sentiment. You know, there's a lot of people that'll do a lot of things, really Anything for money. And so you're dangling. And I think the burning house one was for like $500,000.

[Mandy B]

That's why I'm like, it don't even really be that much money.

[Kirsten]

No, wait, 500,000 isn't a lot.

[Mandy B]

I don't feel like that.

[Weezy]

What was their backup?

[Mandy B]

Not to be, like, potentially get, like, burned.

[Kirsten]

Oh, I'm not gonna.

[Mandy B]

And die like the dad from this is Us. Absolutely not, Ryan.

[Weezy]

If the house across the studio is burning right now, I want us all to go and get that money and split it.

[Kirsten]

I was about to say there's five.

[Weezy]

Of us in the room.

[Kirsten]

One, two, three, four, five.

[Weezy]

We out after.

[Mandy B]

Well, I guess. Is there taxes? Do we have?

[Kirsten]

No, no, it's a gift.

[Mandy B]

Oh, it's a gift.

[Kirsten]

I think it's a gift. You don't have to pay taxes.

[Mandy B]

I thought you like when you want a car on a game show, you have to, like, pay taxes.

[Kirsten]

Well, so Mr. Beast gotta find a way how to do it as charity, like, because, like. Like, you don't have to. It is charity or something. And you know, I ain't.

[Mandy B]

But you won't fascinate me into thinking this white man's Good.

[Weezy]

I just know he does a lot of like, philanthropic about like, giving going like, like consistently giving away millions.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

But maybe there's something.

[Mandy B]

He's just also someone that got upset that he wasn't high enough on that little like Rolling Stone influential list.

[Kirsten]

It's also one of those.

[Mandy B]

He's just corny dude.

[Kirsten]

You know what's crazy about her? Even say that it reminds me of like, like Frank Lucas and all the mobsters and drug dealers and kingpins also gave out turkeys during the goddamn holidays. You know what I mean?

[Mandy B]

It's a yes and it's a yes and all right.

[Weezy]

I like a yes. And.

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Hey everyone. Ed Helms here. And hi, I'm Kal Penn and we're the hosts of Irsay, the Audible and Iheart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the Iheart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?

[Commercial Announcer]

You know what? I can see you as Mr. Darcy. You got a little Colin Firth.

[Podcast Host (Earsay)]

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[Weezy]

By the way.

[Kirsten]

We are going to start with a little icebreaker.

[Mandy B]

Okay, let's do it.

[Kirsten]

You better be ready. So it's true.

[Mandy B]

I'm with the girl.

[Kirsten]

It's truth and dare.

[Mandy B]

Oh, can't you look?

[Kirsten]

Oh, no, you cannot see. However. However, I realized, like, because I'm thankful for this relationship, and I knew you weren't. You were like. And I am giving you an or. There's two truths and two dares. So you can pick one or see. So I'm giving you a or here.

[Mandy B]

Okay. All right.

[Kirsten]

But you only have to choose one.

[Mandy B]

Okay?

[Kirsten]

So one is a little bit more crazy than the other. So I want to see how crazy you want to get.

[Mandy B]

All right, let's do it.

[Kirsten]

Why not? So truth and dare. Let's get it. We're going to start with truth, because that's what people always want to do anyway. Thank you. So pick one or the other.

[Mandy B]

Okay?

[Kirsten]

Either truth. What's the most ridiculous reason you've ever ghosted someone? Or what's your most embarrassing bedroom story that still haunts you today.

[Weezy]

I want the second.

[Mandy B]

Ooh. But I have an answer for the first one.

[Kirsten]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Mandy B]

He wore a poncho.

[Kirsten]

Was he Mexican? No.

[Mandy B]

Oh, and he wore a poncho and like brunch boots.

[Kirsten]

Mexicans wear ponchos. That's why we wear it on Cinco de Mayo.

[Weezy]

Oh. Like the, like a.

[Mandy B]

Like a. Like a brown heavy in the summer on my birthday party. He came to my birthday party in a poncho in brunch boots.

[Weezy]

I.

[Mandy B]

You were mortified, could not believe it, and then had the nerve to then like the party was really cute. Was like, I have a speakeasy in my apartment building. And it's like, it's like a really cute space. And I ended up finding out he asked one of my friends for coke, which I am not. I don't give a fuck if the girls want to be B2K, bum, bum bum. But you're in fucking in a poncho like you're Deanna Jones on my birthday in brunch boots. I'm done. I couldn't speak to him ever again.

[Kirsten]

Which one was worse, the poncho or the brunch boots?

[Mandy B]

Oh, it was a combination of the both. I'm actually getting triggered thinking about him now.

[Weezy]

You know what I'm just going through in my head? You just said B2K bump, bump, hump. And I'm not joking with you. A few months ago, someone was like, oh, come on, little B2K girl. And we were at a afties real.

[Kirsten]

See, I didn't get it.

[Weezy]

I thought she just bump, bump, bump.

[Mandy B]

No bump, bump, bump, period.

[Weezy]

And I dig in.

[Kirsten]

I only do caviar.

[Weezy]

But I thought she literally was saying.

[Kirsten]

It because, like, I was dancing. No.

[Mandy B]

It'S, it's. It's black people reference for coke.

[Weezy]

We were at a black house party. I don't get it.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

How have I never heard of this? I don't do coke with white people.

[Kirsten]

I mean, Coke, B2K is the reverse.

[Mandy B]

It's like perfect. It's like literally perfect. Yeah.

[Weezy]

Oh, yeah.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. But that's the reason why I go.

[Kirsten]

I'm not actually mad at that. Now. The dare.

[Mandy B]

Oh, my God, it was awful.

[Kirsten]

The dare is going to have you in your acting bug. Ok. All right, well, from a talkative standpoint, so dare give a 15 second TED talk titled why tops are the new bottoms or describe your last date like it's a true crime documentary.

[Mandy B]

Oh, this is great.

[Kirsten]

Listen.

[Mandy B]

Okay, all right. Okay, I'll do oh, tops of the New bot. I kind of want to do that one. But also, I also just went on a date that I.

[Kirsten]

So then we're going to do both.

[Weezy]

If you do Tops of the new bottoms. I have a request.

[Mandy B]

Okay.

[Weezy]

I want you to say it like it is breaking news.

[Mandy B]

This here at 4:00pm okay. Okay. Okay. Here we go. I'm going to.

[Kirsten]

Do you want to do both?

[Weezy]

Ktla.

[Mandy B]

I should have smoked more.

[Kirsten]

You weren't ready. You wanna be 2k?

[Mandy B]

Is it in the back? Okay, I will do. I will do the true crime one.

[Kirsten]

Okay, let's do it.

[Mandy B]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It was on a Wednesday, it was cloudy and we went to a theater to go see a show. And Juliet, I don't know if you've seen it. It's a great show on Broadway. It was here in la. I met a Sagittarius. An actual Sagittarist. Oh, an actual Sagittarius. Where he loved bombed me. He showed me all of the things that he wanted but one scary night because I did not let him in my apartment. He immediately ghosted me and never spoke to me again.

[Kirsten]

Because he didn't let you in the apartment?

[Mandy B]

Well, I didn't let him upstairs. He wanted to fuck and I just wasn't feeling it.

[Weezy]

You already fucked.

[Mandy B]

We had. We did everything but fucked up.

[Kirsten]

What? What the fuck besides fuck? Besides fuck? Okay?

[Mandy B]

Besides fucking.

[Kirsten]

Which is just kissing, hand jobs, blowjobs, fingerings, all the things. Yeah.

[Mandy B]

Cause it was new. I'm like. It was like our fourth date.

[Weezy]

Oh, good for me.

[Kirsten]

But wait, y' all got to everything but fucking in only four dates?

[Mandy B]

Yeah, I feel like that's classy.

[Weezy]

That's like.

[Mandy B]

That's pretty classy. I'm the girl that you want to be in this death scenario, okay? Even though I don't die, my heart did because he completely just ruined. I don't get it.

[Weezy]

Did he think what was. Oh, he ghosted you?

[Mandy B]

Yeah, he ghosted me. Like, he literally. Okay, I guess he technically didn't ghost me because he did call me. Like, he went out of town the next day for the weekend and he called me on like that following Monday, just being like. I just don't know if this is really working out. And mind you, this is low key. The second time this happened because we rekindled. We talked earlier this year.

[Kirsten]

I rekindled someone who goes to me, literally.

[Mandy B]

And we talked earlier this year and everything was all good. Like, we went on dates really Quick. Like, our first date was to the aquarium, which I love, if you know anything about me. Like, aquarium going to aquarium.

[Kirsten]

Not you. Like, fish would have never guessed, actually.

[Mandy B]

And it's like. It's because, like, my mom and I would go on trips and, like, when I was younger, we go to all these aquariums. I just love aquariums. They're so soothing and cute.

[Kirsten]

They are.

[Mandy B]

And so we went for our first date, and then we immediately had a second date. And then I went out of town and came back, and, like, we were like. It was really kind of, I guess, moving fast, but it was also like a whirlwind. Like, he was like a full on love bomber. And then he started to get shaky, started to be like, I don't know if I want to do this anymore. And I was just like, okay, this seems like a you issue, not a me issue, and I'm gonna let you go. And then a couple of months went by, and then he hit me back up.

[Commercial Announcer]

Being like.

[Mandy B]

He called me being like, hey, I'm kind of on your side of town. I just left dinner. Do you want to go to, like, this hookah bar? And I was like, okay, cool.

[Kirsten]

Can I just say, I love how he ignored the fact that y' all completely deaded things.

[Mandy B]

For sure.

[Kirsten]

It still felt like, actually could call me back. He's me. No, that's me.

[Mandy B]

Dead ass. I will.

[Kirsten]

A guy will dead me. Look, now you dead.

[Mandy B]

It's like that way.

[Kirsten]

Oh, no. A guy could dead me. We could agree to dead each other, and I could one day be bored and hit them up and be like, hey, what are you doing?

[Mandy B]

Crazy work.

[Kirsten]

Wait, is that crazy, crazy work?

[Weezy]

Well, I decided you wouldn't do it.

[Kirsten]

With a friend sometime.

[Mandy B]

No. I mean, no, no, no.

[Weezy]

If you have like a. We're done. I actually feel so disrespected if a.

[Mandy B]

Nigga did ask me no and dead ass.

[Kirsten]

But then you still went on the date with him.

[Mandy B]

Here's the thing, because we. Okay. So at first when he first told me, like, he didn't. He wasn't, like, necessarily feeling it. I was just like, okay. But then I was like, wait, bitch, I actually really want to know what the fuck happened.

[Weezy]

Oh, so you went for the answer.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, I wanted to know what happened.

[Kirsten]

And then you fucked. Or then you went on three more dates after that.

[Mandy B]

Okay. I didn't say I'm a Leo. I didn't say I was smart. I didn't say, you know, there's something happens too, with two fire signs when they get together, it's just pure chaos.

[Kirsten]

But to be fair, it could have worked out again. I think that's me. To me, if you didn't do something awful. I believe in possible right person, wrong time. So if we, like, connect and it doesn't work, and we both decide this ain't working, or one of us ghosts the other person, oh, yeah, there's nothing bad. I don't think that's bad, but that's what I'm saying. Like, if we just both say, and this ain't really working. Well, he had double back.

[Mandy B]

The reason why he ended up getting, like, ghosting or, like. Like, cutting it off. He ended up being like, I. He made some. Like, he. He built up a preconception about me that was not true. Like, he thought I wasn't. He. He was like, I really want someone who is not, like, religious, but, like, they have a relationship with God. And he just felt like. Because I talked a little bit about, like, my religious trauma, as most queer people have, I. He automatically was like, oh, this is not someone that has, like, he thinks I'm an atheist automatically. And I was like, I've never said that. And then also sexually, he thought I was just, like, wanting to be some submissive girl and I'. First of all, just because my voice is, like, high in the octaves does not mean I won't break your back. So don't try me, period. You know what I mean?

[Weezy]

You know where my brain is right now.

[Mandy B]

Where is your brain?

[Weezy]

The gall of a man, period.

[Kirsten]

If it's one thing a man goal I have, it's the audacity.

[Mandy B]

Period.

[Weezy]

I was gonna say.

[Mandy B]

Also, quick change.

[Kirsten]

If y' all are watching on the YouTube, get ready. We're taking it to court, baby.

[Weezy]

I want to take anybody that has ever sucked a dick and has one to have the God to tell me I can't have conflicted feelings about religion.

[Mandy B]

Right?

[Weezy]

Fucking dare you.

[Kirsten]

I actually experience a woman with conflicted feelings. Like, no, but, like, one thing if.

[Weezy]

To me, someone wants to make that choice and you're both straight. Just knowing that, like, we walk through life where knowing that God thinks it's wrong, hearing and seeing media, all kinds of. With people saying, gay ain't the way. Burn them at the stake.

[Mandy B]

And the specific sort of religious life that I lived, like, I grew up Pentecostal, and if anybody knows Church of God in Christ. Yeah, it's like, long skirts. You can't. Women can't even be in the pool.

[Kirsten]

It's like, the more conservative Christians for sure.

[Mandy B]

I mean, like black Amish people.

[Kirsten]

Yeah, that's literally where I go.

[Mandy B]

It's not that extreme, but I'm like, low key. Like, it's very, very conservative and like, it's just was. I was, I remember talking about it and I was just kind of like, yeah, I know it will always be a part of me, but I have conflicted feelings and I'm like, that's anything but. My thing is the fact that you had the audacity not like ask a follow up or like you just made like a quick decision. I didn't want anybody like around in that way. So a couple months went by and then we weren't talking and then of course reconnected and yeah, it just, I don't know, I feel like he just like, he was just the type of person that gets like wrapped up in the idea of like a relationship, but are wrapped up, but don't want to do the work, but doesn't actually want to do. Yeah, like he's still trying to figure his out. And so I said, I will never date another.

[Weezy]

I mean, a lot of people desire things that they don't know how to get to. Right? Like, true, you can always have the North Star, but not the means to get there. And I think we see it the most with like a career. I want to do X, Y. I want to start a podcast. And they never do it. But when it comes to relationships, it's the same thing. Yeah, we always say we're ready for something because we know it's desirable companionship, but you got to be healed.

[Mandy B]

And I also don't know. No, if I feel like that also. That moment also taught me. It was like, I know I'm saying I want to manifest like a relationship and like, want to like find a partner, but I also don't. I don't want to settle for anything. I don't want to settle for, like someone to not accept me fully sexually or someone to not accept me fully in like the life that I live as like a public figure in this world that this work that we do. Like, I need someone who's going to be able to handle all of that. And like, I don't know, it sucks. It felt nice to feel wanted, but also I can't just get wrapped up in that.

[Kirsten]

Hell. No, we say that about, we say that about this podcast. Like, you have to be fully accepting of us being open about talking about sex, being liberated and, you know, being the OGs to these types of conversations.

[Mandy B]

Accept that you're an OG.

[Kirsten]

You know, we got caught up.

[Weezy]

I have. But can we call it lg?

[Mandy B]

Like, the phone?

[Weezy]

No, like, little.

[Kirsten]

You want to be.

[Mandy B]

You want to be the rap. Flip phone.

[Weezy]

I want to be a little gangster. Not an OG Gang.

[Mandy B]

Okay. A little gangster.

[Kirsten]

Well, we are gonna go from the bedroom to the courtroom. Order in the court. Order in the court.

[Mandy B]

Who gave her this? Did you?

[Weezy]

No. Amazon.

[Kirsten]

Okay. Jeff Bezos. Okay, now, for this part of the show, I am going to read three cases, okay? You have to decide if you will stand in defense, which means you will argue why it's hot, valid, and sex positive, or you will stand in prosecution, where you will argue why this is a kink felony and morally unsound.

[Mandy B]

Oh, okay. Now, I am pretty progressive, so I feel like I'm gonna be on the defense a lot.

[Kirsten]

No, we'll see. We'll see. So case number one, they refuse to sleep over after sex, ever. They always have something to do and decide not to spend the night. Are you defending this act, or do you feel like there's a violation somewhere? And why?

[Weezy]

Ooh.

[Mandy B]

Okay, I'm gonna. I'm actually going to defend it.

[Kirsten]

Because you're defending this.

[Mandy B]

Hell, yeah. Because I like actually having my own space. I am an only child, and I do not want niggas in my room or in my space for too long.

[Kirsten]

Even after you have sex with her?

[Mandy B]

For sure. I'm so down for you to pack it up and leave.

[Kirsten]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

I think having. I think having your own space, especially in the dating phase. Like, I don't. Maybe at some point you can start to sleep over, but, like, I don't actually need that.

[Weezy]

How long do you do that for?

[Mandy B]

Can I say, like, it's six months long.

[Kirsten]

Six months to do that. I've been having sex for six months, and they can't spend the.

[Mandy B]

Not. I mean, happy folks are always hookup. Like, it's like hookup culture, right? Like, it's like, you, like.

[Weezy]

Oh, wait, so dating phase. Say dating.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kirsten]

But if you're sleeping with someone for six months.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

Do I. Do I need to. Can I not have. Can I not be like Whoopi Goldberg and be like, why is a man here? Like, can I not. Like, I would.

[Weezy]

I came.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. You know, and you can stay. But also, like, I just. I don't know. I would have to really get used. I haven't had a man sleep over in a minute, if I'm being quite honest. Like, I just.

[Kirsten]

It did. It depends. I did have a guy sleep over earlier this Year and bitch, they snored. And I was upset. I said, actually, I would have been okay if he left.

[Mandy B]

That's what I'm saying now.

[Kirsten]

Bitch can barely sleep because.

[Mandy B]

What are you. Okay, what are they staying over for? Just for the cuddles.

[Weezy]

The cuddles?

[Mandy B]

I don't cuddle. I don't like morning cuddles.

[Kirsten]

In the morning. You don't like morning sex?

[Mandy B]

I do, but also, am I prepared?

[Kirsten]

Like calling someone in the. I mean, morning sex.

[Mandy B]

Before the coffee. Before the coffee.

[Weezy]

What you be doing?

[Kirsten]

Wait a second.

[Mandy B]

No, I mean, if I.

[Weezy]

Baby, he said, am I prepared? You ain't got to ask. Top or nothing.

[Kirsten]

Wait a second.

[Weezy]

Bottom to the new top. Ktla, we are here with Brian Mitchell. Tell us, when did this happen for you?

[Mandy B]

Oh. Oh, my God. At the sweet age of I can't say my actual name.

[Weezy]

And we'll be back with a product to do.

[Kirsten]

Okay, case number two.

[Mandy B]

Okay.

[Kirsten]

All right. On a first date, they bring up their kinks immediately.

[Weezy]

Mm.

[Kirsten]

Do you defend this action and is it sex positive or. Or do you think they're guilty and this might be morally unsound? Like, they could have. Wait, no.

[Mandy B]

You need to know I'm on a defense.

[Kirsten]

Wait. Kinks out the gate.

[Mandy B]

I think you need to know people's kinks. I'd love to actually talk about sex. I want to know, like, your answer.

[Kirsten]

Why not? Okay.

[Mandy B]

Why not? So hold on. Because they. I mean, in the first interaction where you're talking to someone, you're automatically seeing if they're a top or a bottom on their profile. Like, you're automatically trying to figure out if you are like. Are we, like, sisters and about to bump purses? Or are we, like. Is this, like, a thing?

[Weezy]

But let's just set the scene.

[Mandy B]

Cause I first date is not that I don't.

[Kirsten]

Oh, wait, so you're prosecuting, you're defending?

[Weezy]

Okay, one drink comes out. We've ordered apps.

[Mandy B]

Okay, what's the apps?

[Weezy]

A little prosciutto burrata. We're, like, spreading it on top of the. On the. On the bread.

[Mandy B]

Okay.

[Weezy]

And you know what? I have, like, a really big kink of, like, cum. I just like it all over my face.

[Kirsten]

And I just really like it as a cake.

[Weezy]

I like to drink it, like, not over the brush.

[Mandy B]

You mean not. You said over the breath. Okay, hold on, hold on.

[Weezy]

Let me do this. Would you guys like dessert? Actually, we'll have the sorbet.

[Mandy B]

Now.

[Weezy]

The sorbet comes out.

[Mandy B]

Okay. After. After.

[Kirsten]

After the meal.

[Mandy B]

After, like, if we're at dessert and it's been going well, and there's been, like, some flirtation and, like, there's banter and, like, you know, you're feeling, like, the sexual chemistry. Why not?

[Kirsten]

So, wait, you defend it?

[Mandy B]

I think it's dessert positive, and I'm defending, but.

[Kirsten]

But y' all both agree that over appetizers and immediately it's too early.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kirsten]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

For sure.

[Weezy]

Am I making the comment this is the type of girl I am?

[Mandy B]

Unless I need to know that this guy's a chaser or, like, just a.

[Weezy]

Sex person that just wants to fuck me?

[Kirsten]

The only dates that I've actually been comfortable leaning straight into sex have been the ones that I've met on, like, field. Like, ones that lead with, like, whether you're a dom or a sub, technically.

[Weezy]

Then you mentioned seeing top and bottom. So if you're on Grindr or if you're on for whatever. Yeah.

[Mandy B]

Are those the only two you know of?

[Weezy]

And I know the one that Sniffies where you.

[Mandy B]

Oh, that's an app. That's a map. That's, like, more of a website.

[Kirsten]

Isn't there one, like, exact.

[Weezy]

Yes.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Weezy]

Not me. Name it.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, there's more.

[Weezy]

Give me the letter X.

[Mandy B]

And Twitter.

[Kirsten]

Yes. Are y' all kidding?

[Mandy B]

I'm meeting anyone off of.

[Kirsten]

You're not.

[Mandy B]

Why would I. That feels like.

[Kirsten]

Why would you not.

[Mandy B]

Almost feels like meeting someone. Like the Craigslist killer. Wait, off of, like, it feels like the same thing.

[Kirsten]

You know why I don't. Because.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

Twitter on Twitter. You doesn't. No. No shit. On Twitter, you could literally see them having sex.

[Mandy B]

For sure. But I'm not.

[Kirsten]

Oh, I'm not.

[Mandy B]

I guess I'm not hooking up with. With. I mean, no. I am all for sex work, so I want to be very clear. I just. I'm not sliding. I feel like their DMs are full enough and busier enough.

[Kirsten]

Well, they're not.

[Mandy B]

And they're trying to make money.

[Weezy]

They would slide a long view of dating. So, like, I don't like, you know.

[Mandy B]

I want them to, like.

[Kirsten]

I like sex workers. Hold on.

[Weezy]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Kirsten]

Where was we at?

[Weezy]

Because I want to know. Oh, what are the other apps?

[Mandy B]

Oh, okay. I mean, Hinge is a good one, but I feel like Hinge is for everyone.

[Weezy]

I thought it was, like, gay.

[Kirsten]

No, they have. They have gay.

[Weezy]

He said. Are those the only ones you know?

[Mandy B]

Yeah, I guess those are the main gay specific. I mean, unless you go into, like. Unless you go into, like, the bear Community. Like Growler. Oh, Growler's like a bear community focused one that is, like, for us, you know, period. You know, just the thicker guys and the more the. I mean, it's more so if I'm.

[Kirsten]

Being correct, it's more hairy chest, right?

[Mandy B]

Yeah, it's more so, like, white bears. I feel like there are, like, black bears and there's, like, black folks in that, but I just feel like. I feel like Grindr and like. And grindr and, like, scruff and Growler. Those are, like, very white cinch.

[Kirsten]

Do you think Growler is for.

[Mandy B]

Those are very white cinch.

[Weezy]

Where the niggas at? Which one?

[Mandy B]

The niggas are on Jacked.

[Kirsten]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

I also have heard of some niggas being on blk.

[Kirsten]

Oh, I've been on blk.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

You know, it was. I didn't like the. They need to work on the back end of the coding.

[Mandy B]

I mean. No.

[Weezy]

So I'll tell you why I didn't like it.

[Mandy B]

It feels exactly how it's spelled and sounds it literally.

[Kirsten]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

And I hate to say that, because I love my people. Me too. But it does.

[Kirsten]

They need to get more coding, which.

[Mandy B]

Also, Jax feels that way, too.

[Weezy]

I hate saying a black app.

[Mandy B]

I know, and I hate that for.

[Weezy]

Us, but I will tell you.

[Kirsten]

Well, then go to the.

[Weezy]

Cause black people.

[Kirsten]

Spill is a good ass.

[Mandy B]

Come on, spill. I would love to meet someone.

[Kirsten]

I got you. I know the show.

[Mandy B]

I mean, I know Alfonso.

[Weezy]

Oh.

[Kirsten]

Oh, okay, okay, okay. Not a soft spill. Crazy.

[Mandy B]

I mean, he's hot.

[Kirsten]

I'm talking about Kenya.

[Mandy B]

Oh, and I love Kenya.

[Kirsten]

I love Kenya. Shout out to spill. This is not an ad, but support our people. That's DLC owned.

[Mandy B]

Okay, real quick.

[Kirsten]

Now we're get to case three so we can get into some gratitude, because this is the Thanksgiving Day episode I love. So case number three, they show up for the first hookup with an entire duffel bag of toys, lube, and accessories. No discussion beforehand.

[Mandy B]

Hoocha girl.

[Kirsten]

Like, is this. Is this sex positive, hot, and valid, or do you feel like, eh, you doing too much? Don't show up with a duffel bag on the first hookup.

[Mandy B]

I would prosecute. Like, I had someone on, like, our first date try to fist me when we were hooking up.

[Kirsten]

Ooh, share the story.

[Weezy]

Sorry, what?

[Kirsten]

No. Yep, I love it.

[Weezy]

No, you're in sleepover mode. And you said.

[Mandy B]

But that's why I stopped. Full on.

[Kirsten]

Because that's why you're a prosecutor.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, I would prosecute like that because it was a really great date. We went to the museum. It was really sweet. And then we got like. We went to get food and then we like back to my place and we were making out, doing the things. And then I found out he had like a fisting kink while we were doing that. And he was trying to like go full on force feet. And I was just like. After, like, we just ate the food that I just ate. Like, I just don't know.

[Weezy]

Ryan, serious question. You saw the duffel bag and thought, fist, not cotton sleepover.

[Kirsten]

I was about to say you didn't.

[Weezy]

Think worked next day.

[Kirsten]

You thought, well, the duffel bag.

[Mandy B]

Because you said sex toy.

[Kirsten]

That's what the duffel bag is like.

[Mandy B]

Oh, there's like. Yeah, there's like. There's like dildos and there's like.

[Weezy]

It's.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. And like anybody. No, no, literally though. And anybody who brings. Is bringing a duffel bag of sex toys means they are probably very kink.

[Kirsten]

Yes.

[Mandy B]

Like forward. And they are probably like full on fisting folks.

[Kirsten]

It's that I'm bringing lube and accessories.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

Not my work clothes for the next.

[Mandy B]

Why bring that stuff when I might have them?

[Kirsten]

So I'll be honest with you.

[Mandy B]

I would actually.

[Kirsten]

And I had this conversation with my boyfriend because he was. We were on FaceTime and he was showing me.

[Mandy B]

That's crazy, you saying boyfriend.

[Kirsten]

Well, I have multiple boyfriends, so this is one of many. Oh, yeah. I have two and a popup.

[Mandy B]

I need an up tip. I need a tip. I didn't know.

[Kirsten]

Yeah, I'll send you pictures. I'll show you all the boys.

[Mandy B]

So you're like a polycule?

[Kirsten]

Yes, I'm slowly poly, actually.

[Weezy]

Wait, Polycules, when they're together.

[Kirsten]

No, they're not together, but they know of each other. Oh, so like even one.

[Weezy]

Like, you need to watch Splitsville immediately. Did you watch it?

[Mandy B]

No, I haven't seen it.

[Kirsten]

Both of them specifically, like, I'm able to share when I'm with either or. And then one specifically when he knows I'm with one, asks for videos of me. And so both boyfriends are aware of each other. Yes. And I'm still talking to other people. I love that for you.

[Mandy B]

That sounds like a win win for me.

[Kirsten]

No, no, no. It's like. It's like. Okay. Cause I. I had my activate earlier this year.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

He was monogamous, so but he was open to. He thought. And it just didn't work out. And now I'm like. With two people that are just like.

[Mandy B]

Are you Pegging all of them?

[Kirsten]

Am I what?

[Mandy B]

Are you pegging all of them?

[Kirsten]

No, I have one.

[Weezy]

I have one of her duffel bags.

[Kirsten]

So the possible. So the possible one. Okay, okay, the possible one. Played with each other years ago. Mind you, this is how much of.

[Weezy]

A hoe I am.

[Kirsten]

I don't be remembering shit. But he remembered it. He said that he remembered it was in Dallas. And he was like, yeah, you remember when you put that butt plug in my ass? And so now he done circled back and I was like, damn, I made it that far.

[Mandy B]

He never forgot about it. He never thought about it.

[Kirsten]

But I forgot about it. I was like, damn, I was able to put a butt plug in your ass. I totally forgot about it.

[Weezy]

You know when like, someone really hurt you and they might have forgot but you felt the pain? Yeah, I guess it's like the same.

[Kirsten]

Well, no, it wasn't pain this time.

[Weezy]

It was pleasure pain.

[Kirsten]

That nigga was like. And so now he let me know because we haven't seen or played with each other in probably like four or five years. And he let me know. He's more advanced now, so I'm looking forward.

[Mandy B]

New name Insane. I am obsessed.

[Kirsten]

Listen.

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Hey, audiobook lovers.

[Podcast Host (Earsay)]

This week on the podcast I'm sitting down with musician, producer and walking encyclopedia Questlove. We're talking about Mark Ronson's memoir, Night how to Be a DJ in 90s New York City. All right, like we talked about before, Mark Ronson found sanctuary in the DJ booth. What's a tool or piece of equipment in the studio or on stage that gives you the most control?

[Mandy B]

So I have two microphones on stage.

[Podcast Host (Earsay)]

We have the microphone that you hear as the audience. Then we have a second microphone in which we communicate with each other. I feel like that second microphone kind of saved all of our friendships. No band likes each other after 20.

[Mandy B]

Years or 25 years.

[Podcast Host (Earsay)]

Like the Beatles broke up in seven.

[Mandy B]

And a half years and we're going on 35.

[Podcast Host (Earsay)]

Listen to HearSay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Kirsten]

So yeah, to me, the duffel bag. But my boyfriend. Back to that story. He was I'm supposed to be going to see him. He was in the dmv and so he was showing me around his house. He got a massage table. He got a chair with like these cuffs and stuff. And he has like a bin full of toys. And my immediate question was like, who cleans them?

[Mandy B]

Yeah, that's actually exactly where I am.

[Kirsten]

Crazy. Before I had to ask, he's like, well, I have the toy cleaner. He has all the things, so he cleans them. But I was like. And he was like. And I use condoms on them when I use them. But for me, I'm not in a place because I don't trust the cleanliness of anyone else to be shoving toys at me that would have went in someone else's house.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, it's like, cat owners. You don't want to really eat at a cat owner's place.

[Kirsten]

Oh, my God. This is so. You wouldn't eat at my goddamn house, nigga. Oh, I. I got Bodhi.

[Mandy B]

I forgot you had Bode.

[Kirsten]

You know Bode. But Bodhi. Bodhi is in a black household.

[Mandy B]

Bodhi don't be on the counters. I feel like when I was over there, Bod was on the floor.

[Kirsten]

Came over, nigga.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. Bode was never on the counter. Thank you. Like, I. But Bode's an orange cat. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

[Kirsten]

Yay.

[Weezy]

My first time going, my business partner.

[Kirsten]

Did I feed you?

[Weezy]

Cause the catchy. We go to his family's house, and his mama's there, so it's me, Alex. This is my first time out of his family. And I'm like, oh, and his mom's Puerto Rican. I'm like, oh, we about to eat.

[Mandy B]

Da, da, da.

[Weezy]

She hyping us up. And then right as I'm putting it in my mouth, I see.

[Kirsten]

Huh?

[Weezy]

Is that like a little bin of rocks?

[Kirsten]

Not a bin of rocks. Oh, little bitter. Not a bin of rocks.

[Weezy]

But also, the food was good. And this mom kept going, me hot. This is not my house. But I. Everything is good.

[Mandy B]

I'm just saying, like, this is.

[Kirsten]

You know what I'm gonna do.

[Mandy B]

I'm sorry. I'm just gonna search and perpetuate this.

[Kirsten]

Get you guys off of the PTSD that you have.

[Weezy]

I will.

[Kirsten]

So because I'm a cat owner, a part of my algorithm is cat videos. And the funniest thing is to see black cat owners, because you just talk to them different. You treat them different. But also, black cats know. Get your motherfucking ass off that motherfucking counter. Cause you know you're not supposed to. Nigga, you can't.

[Weezy]

What you doing?

[Kirsten]

What you a. L. You're not even allowed in the kitchen, sir.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

Like, so. Black cat owners are. I will say we are different. Even though. Yes, I'm biracial, and you said it.

[Weezy]

Turned the stove on the other day.

[Mandy B]

Uh, that can't be turned the stove.

[Kirsten]

No, no, no, no. This is when I first. So When I first moved into this house, I went on vacation. I also didn't bring the feeder. Cause I got rid of everything. That nigga. I felt so bad. He was out of water. He was out of everything. So I think I felt so bad. I felt like a terrible, like mother. Oh. So when I get.

[Mandy B]

How long were you out of town?

[Kirsten]

Oh, my God, like, four days. And it didn't. Like it was a new feeder. I didn't set it right. I went in there, the whole water was still. He had nothing. And I don't know how long he didn't have anything for. So I was like, oh, my God. So I go in there and I was like, fuck, it's hot. And this again, new house. He was probably looking for goddamn food. So it's a touch. Stove. Stove. So mind you, my cups were knocked over. I really think he was in an array. And I felt so bad. So I go on. And I was like, oh, shit. But, yeah, no, he hasn't done that since. But this is literally.

[Mandy B]

It doesn't look like what he's been through.

[Kirsten]

No, but also. But also, it's a new house. Like, this is when I had first moved in this house.

[Mandy B]

He was like, also getting adjusted.

[Kirsten]

He don't notice. Nigga, I got two floors now. You saw how small my.

[Mandy B]

See, I'm a dog. I'm a dog girl. I have a small Shih Tzu. And she's like, listen, all I know.

[Kirsten]

Is I was just glad that the house.

[Mandy B]

Cocoa with an A.

[Weezy]

My dog's gonna cocoa.

[Mandy B]

Like, chocolate.

[Kirsten]

Like, I was like butter.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, like butter. Cocoa butter.

[Kirsten]

That's why you say cocoa with a. I'm like, how else do you spell cocoa?

[Mandy B]

Not like.

[Weezy]

Oh, I was saying Jones.

[Mandy B]

That's a good one.

[Kirsten]

Okay. I was like, how else do you spell cocoa? Okay, now again, because this is a themed episode I wanted to get into, period. I'm excited. I'm excited for it.

[Mandy B]

You have pumpkin pie, girls.

[Kirsten]

I am a pumpkin bitch. And that's just my.

[Mandy B]

Are you a pumpkin? I mean, I love sweet potato pie, girl.

[Kirsten]

It is the same thing. And I'm not gonna have this. Wait.

[Weezy]

Every year, sweet potato pie and pumpkin.

[Kirsten]

They taste the fucking same.

[Weezy]

I actually don't think they do. I recently had a pumpkin.

[Kirsten]

But we're not gonna go because, you.

[Mandy B]

Know, let us feel like, very diaspora worse. We're really about to mark.

[Kirsten]

We're not gonna do well, it's probably.

[Mandy B]

I'm not a pumpkin girl either, but I will have a slice if it's around.

[Weezy]

Yo, Pumpkin soup was disgusting.

[Mandy B]

Now, why would you have that?

[Weezy]

Because I thought butternut squash, when I saw somebody else at the table with it, I was like, let me have one of those.

[Kirsten]

And I was like, I love pumpkin soup. I love pumpkin spice. I love pumpkin cold foam. They have pumpkin eggnogs. So let me tell you, I love everything pumpkin.

[Weezy]

Biracial people have a thing that they like, right? Mine is B2K.

[Kirsten]

There we go.

[Weezy]

I'll her. There we go.

[Mandy B]

No, I really think I'm forgetting y' all are biracial.

[Kirsten]

I love that you forget. Yeah, I do be forgetting that every.

[Weezy]

Time I say something or Mandy says something that's questionable.

[Kirsten]

I realize pumpkin is questionable in the fall.

[Mandy B]

It is mad.

[Kirsten]

Black people have cats. Well, no.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

I know a lot of black people that have cats.

[Kirsten]

Yeah, black people have cats.

[Mandy B]

They normally have black cats. But I love. There's something special about an orange cat.

[Kirsten]

The orange cats are better.

[Mandy B]

There is something about.

[Kirsten]

Yeah, they are special. They're on the spectrum, is what it is.

[Mandy B]

Orange cats is real special. But, yeah, I'm. I'm most definitely a sweet potato pie.

[Weezy]

Mayonnaise usage.

[Mandy B]

Oh, I like mayonnaise, too.

[Weezy]

Every little vibration person I know is opposite a. Loading on mayonnaise on or likes it. Or be ranchy type people all the time. Maybe like, yo, what is this?

[Kirsten]

Oh, that's the other. That's the other thing where I lean on the other spec.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

Do not give me ranch blue cheese.

[Mandy B]

I actually think y' all represent the spectrum. Biracialist very well. Like, you're like, like septum biracial, and you're like black, black, black biracial. So it's like, I totally see. It's really beautiful to see the range.

[Weezy]

Someone biracial. When you have the septa biracial and they all have boho braids and septum rings.

[Kirsten]

I mean, all day white guys step to.

[Weezy]

My boyfriend is my twin. He's also black with, like. He got locks and we're tattooed. We look the same. But he did say, yo. It could go either way. Either they got a N like me or they got like.

[Mandy B]

And then, like, the. The black version is you dating Zack Fox.

[Weezy]

Oh, wait.

[Mandy B]

I feel like Zack Fox would date a septum biracial.

[Weezy]

He would for sure.

[Mandy B]

I mean, he's married. Yes, yes, yes. I mean, yeah, you know, they're lit. Yeah, they're so high.

[Weezy]

To biracial to date. Who makes all black? Steve Lacey. But he. Yeah, white man.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, he's a white.

[Kirsten]

I was about to say they normally be with the whites.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, it's true.

[Weezy]

Real. You know what's crazy? I saw out with the Obama sisters the other night in LA and all I could.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, they're always out. I'm like, they.

[Weezy]

They do be out.

[Elevate Health Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

But when I saw them, I was like, they must all look white guys. That's all I thought.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. Like, I think Malia likes someone who loves a good cigarette. Like, loves a good cigarette or like. Like they're putting the stuff in the.

[Kirsten]

Lips, not the tobacco.

[Mandy B]

Like, I feel like she dates. Like, what's the thing?

[Weezy]

My racial girls that live in New York, we are cigarette gang thing, for sure. Like, it just comes with the outfit and the attitude.

[Kirsten]

You smoke cigarettes, girl? I'm.

[Weezy]

You're a Euro girl. What do you think I do in Paris? You think I just talk to people?

[Mandy B]

I mean, you know, I just don't understand why there's a cigarette when weed exists.

[Kirsten]

I thought millennials gave up. Like, we. I thought millennials didn't smoke cigarettes. I don't think.

[Mandy B]

Well, probably not. They're probably doing things.

[Kirsten]

Okay, okay.

[Weezy]

This is the thing.

[Mandy B]

If you're Blueberry baby.

[Weezy]

I don't buy cigarettes. I'm a girl that's outside. Oh, my God.

[Mandy B]

Can I get one? Yeah.

[Weezy]

Now, like. Like what I will say, though, about cigarette and vape culture. I do think vaping is so weird. So I don't understand why people do it. And I understand why teenagers smoke cigarettes back in the day. Cause it actually does. Look, there's an aesthetic.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, there is.

[Weezy]

But the vape looks kiddyish to me.

[Kirsten]

Maybe it's trauma for me. I can't. Like how you were mad at the poncho and brunch boots. I would ghost a guy for pulling out a pack of cigarettes and smoking.

[Weezy]

That's what happened. Again.

[Kirsten]

I don't want to kiss the guy after they smoke cigarettes.

[Weezy]

Cigarettes have this stunt of leather bikers.

[Kirsten]

Not for me. It's.

[Mandy B]

I don't. I don't know if I would long term date someone that smokes cigarettes, but I would for sure have a rendezvous with a cigarette smoker.

[Kirsten]

And you know what's crazy? When they say not.

[Mandy B]

I would for about three weeks.

[Kirsten]

When they tell you, like, when you go into, like, apartments and stuff like that, like, it's non smoking.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

A lot of times it's really for cigarettes because it literally.

[Weezy]

No, you can feel it in someone's house.

[Kirsten]

That's what I'm saying. It changes the color of the walls.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

It's like it's disgusting.

[Weezy]

Processing. But why are also you smoking cigarettes in a house?

[Mandy B]

Yeah, see, that's like, now you got a dust stop.

[Kirsten]

That's why there's indoor smoking. Ashtrays are for indoor smoking.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kirsten]

And people smoke inside for sure.

[Weezy]

Wait, ashtrays are.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Weezy]

I didn't even think about that.

[Kirsten]

Oh, my God.

[Mandy B]

Yet it makes.

[Weezy]

I feel like someone just told me fish don't drink water. They just like. It makes so much sense.

[Kirsten]

Yeah, the ashtrays is indoor smoking.

[Mandy B]

Man, am I. I. Yeah, I mean, we did. We've said B2K bump, bump, bump, like three times.

[Weezy]

Not.

[Mandy B]

Not if you say it.

[Kirsten]

The boogeyman gonna show up.

[Weezy]

I'm very judgy about cigarettes too.

[Kirsten]

Me and my nigga was with this girl and he was like, yo, her.

[Weezy]

With the pack is crazy. Like this need to take breaks. Meanwhile, we smoking with her that night. Oh, you should see me judging BTK people. Yeah, yeah. Like, first of all, I'm a monthly party girl. Bitch, what are you talking about? It's 9:00am and you're still.

[Mandy B]

I just don't like these.

[Elevate Health Advertiser]

The.

[Mandy B]

I. I'm never going to do a drug where I feel like I don't have control of my body. And I think the girls that do it do. They do the bum. Bum bumps. They get like coke mouth are like. Like where their. Their mouth's a little slanted.

[Weezy]

I feel like this about weed, and.

[Mandy B]

I just can't do that.

[Kirsten]

I know wheat don't.

[Weezy]

Weed makes me feel very. Like. I think I get weird in person and I feel like I get anxious and I.

[Mandy B]

That's septum biracial. I'm diagnosing you with that. I don't think that necessary. I don't know if that's. I don't know if that's true.

[Kirsten]

That's not a paranoid. No, no, no. Maybe edibles.

[Mandy B]

But I see you, and I. I just want to say you have been diagnosed.

[Kirsten]

Oh, my God.

[Mandy B]

No. The anxiety that comes with being a septim.

[Weezy]

But I'm listening future and stuff. And like, totally.

[Mandy B]

No, for sure. You would have been great as a. A guest star on Grownish.

[Weezy]

But we're great.

[Mandy B]

I am just clocking.

[Weezy]

Do you know what's crazy? Right when I got hired, I think I said it on this show. I was like, oh, my God. They're gonna say, kenya, chills because I'm viral, probably.

[Kirsten]

And I was like, well, they didn't put my phone on.

[Weezy]

I'm like, somebody on Twitter go find me and be like, that bitch. But you know what actually helped Horrible Decisions is so culturally relevant for black people in the space of podcasting that they let me go. Thank you, everybody.

[Mandy B]

I love that this has been the card for you to be like, this is Horrible Decisions is my black card.

[Weezy]

Help.

[Kirsten]

This being the black card is hilarious. All right, so I wanted to get into three topics before we get outta here.

[Mandy B]

Let's do it. Let's do it.

[Kirsten]

To speak about gratitude and thankfulness, but of course, the decisions decisions, slash horrible decisions way. So we're gonna talk gratitude in dating, gratitude in relationships, and gratitude in sex.

[Mandy B]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Kirsten]

But in the best way. So for gratitude and dating, I would love for you to share a dating disaster that, weirdly, you're thankful for because it taught you a lesson.

[Mandy B]

Mm. Does it have to be a dating disaster?

[Kirsten]

It could be relationship. It could be a relationship too.

[Mandy B]

I think I'm most grateful for my first real relationship.

[Kirsten]

Same.

[Mandy B]

Because when did it happen? I mean, it was, like, fresh out of college, and then we moved out here together.

[Weezy]

Oh, wow.

[Mandy B]

That was, like, my first, like, real relationship. And there was infidelity on his side, and, like, there was just. It was just, we probably shouldn't have moved here together. It was just, like, a shit show. But if I'm being quite honest, like, I don't wanna be cliche, but that shit really taught me what I needed to know about. I think I had this idea of needing to be a ride or die in any case. And his life was literally falling apart, and I felt like I just needed to be, like, there and, like, sacrifice a lot of my shit to, like, be there for him. Especially when. When we got out here and we were all trying to make it, and he just kind of, like, lost it and just was cheating up a storm and doing his own. He was doing his big one.

[Weezy]

What stage in your relationship did you decide to, like, take a leap and move together? Like, how long had you been together?

[Mandy B]

We had been together for three or maybe four years.

[Kirsten]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

That's a lot. Yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

Like, we were together for a minute, and even though before we moved out here, I had found out he cheated on me.

[Kirsten]

Oof.

[Mandy B]

And still did it. And still did it. That's why I'm like, I'm so grateful for that relationship because it literally taught me what I will accept what I won't accept, period. And also it taught me what it actually means when I do end up connecting with someone, what it actually means for them to show how they like me and how they show up for me. Because I Never really experienced that. I remember being like. I was thinking about this the other day where I was like, oh, I used to actually say I loved. I feel like I was in love with this person. But, like, I don't actually know if I was. Like, I don't think that was actually a great representation of what love is. And I think if I didn't go through that relationship, I would not have known that.

[Kirsten]

Ooh, I like that. It's funny because in terms of the. The L word, I call it now, I treat that shit like the R word.

[Mandy B]

I ain't saying it. Not you throwing the R word around.

[Kirsten]

Listen, I mean, we need to normalize.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

It's 20, 25. A lot of people are actually saying it's kind of crazy.

[Kirsten]

No, it's coming back.

[Mandy B]

It's coming south park and everything real bad.

[Kirsten]

They is saying it up a storm on that thing. But for me, when it comes to the L word, I remember loosely saying it in my 20s or being so infatuated with certain partners, mind you, that I wasn't exclusive with or committed to, but I genuinely thought I L worded them. And it wasn't until how I felt in my first relationship that I saw different parts of me that I could be that I'm now grateful for. Now, like, I'm grateful that. But I'm also grateful that I had it at an age that I could dissect, because I know so many people can go back to these relationships in middle school, high school, or in their early 20s. And for me, where I kind of was upset that it took so long, quote, unquote, for me to be in a real relationship. I was really glad that I was in a space of going to therapy, learning myself, overcoming the trauma of my 20s, and experiencing a love that although got toxic as the relationship went through. I met you when I was on that roller coaster with him, I remember. And there was just so many things that I'm glad through therapy that I learned to take from it that I was grateful for. Like, the main thing, I think, wasn't.

[Mandy B]

That guy a hotep?

[Kirsten]

He was all of the things.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

And I love him for being like.

[Mandy B]

I need you to get away from me.

[Kirsten]

You were like, how the fuck are.

[Mandy B]

You applied out there? He had big hotep energy. And I was like, what is that? Yeah, I just need you to leave.

[Kirsten]

Well, it wasn't even hotep as much as it was like, and it could be leaning hotep. So he aligned himself with the thoughts and views of Kyrie Irving on some Israelite shit.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

Then freemason shit, Flat earth shit.

[Mandy B]

All the qualifications of being a hotep.

[Kirsten]

Oh, so there we go.

[Mandy B]

I think that's like literally Hotep101.

[Kirsten]

Is it?

[Mandy B]

I think so. I don't know much about it.

[Kirsten]

He dressed like a hotep. He didn't eat like a hotep.

[Mandy B]

I mean, you've got a new age one, a modern hotep. I love to see them evolve.

[Weezy]

Actually, now that I think about it, Flat Earthers. Damn. I don't put them in the hotep shit.

[Mandy B]

I do.

[Weezy]

But because.

[Kirsten]

So I'm hotep.

[Weezy]

Because I like flat earthers.

[Mandy B]

Ok, you know what? Sometimes I just let Mandy say things and just sit with them and just.

[Weezy]

Be like, you have to let it go.

[Mandy B]

I just don't. I don't have to deep dive into it. But I'm happy she vocalized it and she. She's like living in that.

[Weezy]

There's no way you believe.

[Mandy B]

Seriously.

[Weezy]

I can't consciously believe it. Hold on.

[Kirsten]

And I do. And like there's a video now on YouTube. I'm going to send it to you. After the 17 minutes of watching it, you're going to like question.

[Mandy B]

17 minutes.

[Kirsten]

It's not a sphere. The sphereness you will question when you think about life.

[Weezy]

There have been airline travel.

[Kirsten]

I know there's a pilot in here that explains it.

[Mandy B]

Okay, so it's a documentary, like a short documentary.

[Kirsten]

But on YouTube is a.

[Weezy]

Is an airplane able to go from. From LA to Australia, but if New York goes that way, it's longer.

[Kirsten]

So.

[Weezy]

So meeting at the same place.

[Kirsten]

So no. So it's a half dome. It's not a full circle. That's what it is.

[Weezy]

But you understand that like, don't do that.

[Kirsten]

I'm just going to. I'm going to show you that.

[Mandy B]

So what are we grateful for?

[Kirsten]

There's flat parks on the earth. God damn.

[Weezy]

But they also show us like science has shown us.

[Kirsten]

I'm grateful for you too, bitch. How about that?

[Mandy B]

And I am grateful for both of you.

[Weezy]

Now I understand what you think. Think the government lies all the time.

[Kirsten]

But this thing, I don't know, they make the weather. I told you that.

[Weezy]

Like the earth paradise.

[Mandy B]

You watch Paradise.

[Kirsten]

That's not only paradise. So in Dubai, which I frequented many times.

[Mandy B]

Yes. You got.

[Weezy]

The earth is actually taking her there because it's.

[Mandy B]

I don't accept it.

[Kirsten]

I'm not gonna lie. I can't even like holler at over there. I feel like I can't even tell a she pretty because overhear me it's.

[Mandy B]

Like they'll see my septum ring and be like.

[Kirsten]

They'Ll be like, I feel.

[Weezy]

Like when I got my septum, my mom was like, you've been gay for years. Why did you get it now?

[Kirsten]

Okay, so gratitude and sex. Okay, I want all of us to get into this one.

[Mandy B]

What do you gratitude for? The first one, did we say?

[Kirsten]

Oh, what is it?

[Weezy]

Oh, I would say. Speaking of dating.

[Kirsten]

Dating relationships.

[Weezy]

Yeah. My first real relationship with a woman. I had always had the idea that romantic love, like the height of it would only come from men. For me.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

Always thought there had to be this, like, one's on top, ones on the bottom. Not even trying to be punny here. But like, seriously, there is such thing as finding a romantic love in a deep connection where both pursuits are mutual.

[Kirsten]

Hell yeah. That's why I be lifting their legs up.

[Weezy]

But I didn't think that it could happen because I thought, oh, one is gonna have to say it first. I was so used to the way men treated me. The Waiting Game. Like, I just thought it would never happen. So now that I saw it, I realize there's a genuinity in queer relationships and in how I saw them. Like, I always was confused about how deep it would go for me. Was I heterosexual? Heteroromantic? What was it? Yeah, now it actually made my bonds with men stronger.

[Mandy B]

Interesting. So you, you still want to be with, like, you're still like, you're dating a man right now, right?

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

Oh, okay.

[Weezy]

Work.

[Mandy B]

I love that for you.

[Weezy]

We date women together, but not romantically. Not as serious, but. But sometimes he'll say to me, like, is he queer?

[Mandy B]

Do you date queer men?

[Weezy]

No, I date queer men. But he's not queer. But he has said to me pretty often that he thinks I'm mainly gay. He's like, I think you just really want a family. I feel like you're more gay. You do a lot of gay shit that like, just doesn't sometimes add up. He's like, the way that you act. He's like, if you're drunk, you don't even look at niggas anymore. You just lose the inhibition and be like, boom. Hyper focus on women. He's like. And to me, that's like the biggest truth teller. Whereas I'm like, no, maybe I'm just ready to eat pussy tonight.

[Kirsten]

And I wasn't at 3pm I had to explain that. I actually had to explain that in our book no Holes Bard get it now. I had to explain that I was bisexual and Heteroromantic. Because I have zero desire whatsoever to date a woman, to be with a woman. My brain literally doesn't see it possibly happening. But I love eating coochie and being sexual with a woman. And so what's funny right now is, you know, I got the two boyfriends. My third.

[Mandy B]

Ooh, that feels like so much.

[Kirsten]

It's not. It's long distance, so it's really easy for me.

[Mandy B]

Oh, great.

[Kirsten]

I love it.

[Mandy B]

I love better. Okay.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

But I would love my third boyfriend final. I think three. I had four at one time. That was a lot. Now I'm at two and a possible. The possible. I would love to be bisexual. Like, I'm in an era where especially, like, being a bisexual woman, I would love to just be with a bisexual man who is confident, comfortable. I've only met, like, two in my whole life, but I just would really like to be with someone that I can explore all the things sexually that we could be open about, the things we enjoy about both sexes. There's just something that is so free.

[Mandy B]

Literally no holds bars, Literally no holes barred it all.

[Kirsten]

All the holes for the taking. An ear, a nose. I want everything. You know what I mean? I take an ear.

[Mandy B]

I don't know what you would do with an ear.

[Kirsten]

Just.

[Weezy]

I don't even like a blow.

[Kirsten]

Like a blow job nigga, blowing an ear. When I tell you the sensation. I've had an ear organically. I've talked about it on this pod.

[Mandy B]

I mean, I have two, but I've used a Q tip.

[Kirsten]

Oh, my. You know what? I'm not.

[Weezy]

No, it doesn't. Okay.

[Mandy B]

Q tips are a grabby. You're not supposed to use them now.

[Weezy]

That I give you B2K nuts.

[Kirsten]

So that does make you, you know, the right.

[Mandy B]

My leg is shook a little bit with a Q tip. Hitting the right spot. Absolutely.

[Kirsten]

Okay, so the last one is gratitude in sex.

[Mandy B]

Okay.

[Kirsten]

What is something you used to be embarrassed about that now you're grateful you explored?

[Mandy B]

Ooh.

[Kirsten]

Cause maybe it changed, you know, your mind.

[Mandy B]

To be quite honest, I actually used to be embarrassed about sex a lot, like, altogether like I used to. I think it's because of the way that I grew up and being religious. Like, I was always, like, shamed and shunned around, like, being a sexual being. And I think once I, like, unlearned all of that, and once I leaned into the fact that I know I'm, like, a fully sexual being that loves to, like, stomp dick and nut and all the things, you know, like, It's. It's. It's. It's actually really beautiful for me. And it's like. It allows me to carry myself in a way. Not saying that I'm still not, like, working through some of my com. Like, I have to feel comfortable with someone. That's. There's a lot of trust that comes with that. Right. Because you. I just can't be fully free and open in the ways that I'm just with anyone. But when I have that trust with someone and it's there, I'm like, oh, my God, let's try anything once. Except for anything that has smell. Smells.

[Weezy]

Oh, yeah, I agree with that one.

[Kirsten]

Yeah. I'm not. I'm not a smell.

[Mandy B]

I can't do smells or things or oozing things that are coming out.

[Kirsten]

Wait, oozing is nut?

[Mandy B]

No, well, not. That's not nut.

[Weezy]

What else could it be, B.B.

[Mandy B]

Like. Like. Like. Like scat play or schmegma. Oh, yeah. I don't do that. I don't do smegma. I'm also not a musty girl. Like, I don't like. I don't like musk.

[Kirsten]

Me neither.

[Mandy B]

Not. I need you to be clean. I need you to feel like the dove. Cocoa butter.

[Kirsten]

That's why you named Cocoa.

[Weezy]

But just a reminder. Yes, My baby is clean, period.

[Kirsten]

Well, I'm gonna make this really quick. I think for me, when it comes to sex, it would be public sex. So exploring the sex clubs and things that I thought, like, we didn't like, that were completely taboo.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

I love that. I'm now in communities and spaces where it's normalized. Like, yeah, like, we're gonna go to the sex club.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Kirsten]

I think public sex and being able to be a voyeur and an exhibitionist has been like, the one thing that I was just like, oh, I can't imagine having someone see me do this.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Kirsten]

Oh, now you put on a show.

[Mandy B]

Yeah. You're actually turned on by it.

[Kirsten]

And I'm grateful that I've been able to experience that. But then we'll end with you, Weezy.

[Weezy]

Mine is so hard. Mine is basic. Now, why? Because the only thing that keeps coming to my mind about gratitude is just body. So I felt like, now this may sound like some hoe shit. The more women I slept with, the more comfortable I was with my own body. And I think it's because. Not like anything was wrong with theirs, but let's just say I slept with a girl who was skinnier than me or thicker than me or whatever it Was they just were more confident. And I'm like, damn all this shit. I think I remember one woman I dated that was a mom and she had this huge C section scar that I remember thinking she would even talk to me about. Cause that's how big it was. Yeah, yeah. Nope, she was fully naked. Had me taking my hand. I could literally feel it. And I remember being like, damn, she doesn't give a. Yeah. Like I really thought if this was me wouldn't be the same. So I would say like getting to explore women's bodies. Cuz I'm just not the person that would look at someone and be like.

[Mandy B]

Ew, wait, that's so beautiful. Energy and attitude.

[Weezy]

Oh, I'm gonna call it ew. But like with body, like, you know, I'm gonna judge that.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

Outfit Poncho.

[Mandy B]

Yes, please, Poncho.

[Weezy]

But he never gonna take me there.

[Kirsten]

I'm not gonna lie. That may be the lesson from this episode. Yeah, throw the ponchos out. Throw em away. And I'm not gonna lie, fellas.

[Mandy B]

Also a low key appropriation. When they start looking like western and like.

[Kirsten]

Well, I was also gonna say fellas. I don't think I've heard of anyone that likes brunch boot. Oh, brunch boots. Gotta go.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, let's go for.

[Kirsten]

Well, Ryan, thank you so much for finally goddamn joining us. Thank you for having me.

[Mandy B]

This was fun.

[Kirsten]

Please let us know where.

[Weezy]

I know you gotta have us on.

[Kirsten]

Your can follow you, support you and we can do a virtual. We can figure it out.

[Mandy B]

Let's talk. I would love. Okay. I mean if we're doing it here, then, you know, so you can follow me everywhere on the slay God. T H E S L A Y G A W D and of course listen to high Key Literally every Monday, new episodes. And I'm so excited. We have some really good episodes.

[Kirsten]

That also means after you listen to us, go listen to Hype now.

[Weezy]

Y' all have a new thing.

[Mandy B]

It's gray, it's black, it's gay, it's chaos. It's literally just unfiltered in the best possible way. And I love it.

[Weezy]

I would love to hear someone white describe your podcast if it's their favorite. It's black, it's gay.

[Mandy B]

And that's actually. I think that was actually I pulled that from a comment from a white. But no, I'm just kidding.

[Weezy]

You're black Aside.

[Kirsten]

Oh my God.

[Mandy B]

Love. You are my black black friend.

[Kirsten]

Well, thank you so much for coming. I'm your biracial.

[Weezy]

We have two black people today.

[Mandy B]

No. And congratulations. Can I just say, congratulations for everything Y' all have, like, are just constantly so inspiring and to, like, see where you've come from and where you are now, like, I'm really thankful to, like, one have you in my life. And now have you in my life.

[Weezy]

And I'm. We're gonna sign this for you right behind you.

[Mandy B]

I can't wait.

[Kirsten]

Yes.

[Mandy B]

Like, literally.

[Kirsten]

Thank you. And y', all, if you're watching on video, she just pointed to our instant New York Times bestselling book. No hose bar, period. It's had it on me. We only needed it for one week. That's it. It's there forever. That's all you need, period. Anyways, get your book, no holds barred. A dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. And also, if you want horrible decisions like the little raunch we kind of snuck in here on this episode, we still have horrible decisions. It hasn't gone anywhere. It's just behind a paywall because it get a little nasty over there. So head over to patreon.com Horrible decisions for as little as $5 a month, bitch, you get another episode a week. All right now. Thank you guys for tuning in. This has been another episode of Decisions, decisions.

[Weezy]

Let me see that sexy body go.

[Mandy B]

By.

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[Mandy B]

This is an iHeart podcast.