EP 470: Monica Lewinsky’d All On My Gown

Summary

Podcast Summary: Decisions, Decisions

EP 470: Monica Lewinsky’d All On My Gown

Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF
Release Date: April 27, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this raw, thought-provoking episode, Mandii B and WeezyWTF dive deep into the complexities of victimhood, sexual liberation, power dynamics, and navigating responsible conversations about sex in an ever-shifting cultural and political climate. Drawing from personal experiences and current events, they challenge traditional patriarchal notions and explore the nuances at the core of today’s intense “gender wars.” The co-hosts also discuss responsible disagreement, tips for healthier arguments, and reflect on generational shifts in dating and communication.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Weaponization of Sex & Gender Wars

Timestamp: 00:01, 12:20, 19:50

• Mandii expresses concern over how sex is increasingly 'weaponized,' with the ability for women to claim discomfort and significantly impact men's lives, and a societal tendency to default to women as victims.

  • “I have an issue with the weaponization of sex right now. To where men are scared to work with us at this point to where women are able to just say I felt uncomfortable and a man's life can be ruined…” (Mandii, 00:01)
  • They debate the lack of empathy and space for male victims, highlighting cases where women have lied about victimization.

• Weezy counters that male fear is overdue accountability:

  • “Men are only scared because they’re now being held accountable. So what world would we rather live in—the one where you watch Mad Men...?” (Weezy, 33:31)

• Gender wars are intensifying, with both hosts dissecting how extreme narratives on both sides deepen mistrust and misunderstanding.

2. Monica Lewinsky, Victimhood, and Power Dynamics

Timestamp: 10:31–17:03

• The hosts dissect the Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton scandal as an example of blurred lines in victimhood.

  • Mandii challenges the narrative that Monica was simply a victim, emphasizing agency and intention in Lewinsky’s actions.
    • “A woman regretting a sexual choice doesn’t make her a victim…” (Mandii, 16:29)
  • Weezy argues power dynamics matter: Lewinsky was a young intern, Clinton was the President—a relationship not equally consensual given inherent power imbalances.
    • “She was 20 years old. We know what the fuck sucking dick of your boss is like...” (Weezy, 12:41)
    • “I don’t believe in any normal world, Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton would meet in a bar, and she would do this thing. He’s the president of the United States, bro.” (Weezy, 12:23)

• The conversation exposes the hosts' opposing approaches to nuance and responsibility in discussing these scenarios.

  • Mandii worries about “weaponization,” while Weezy maintains focus on systemic power imbalances.

3. Pedophilia, Consent, and Hard Conversations

Timestamp: 26:22–30:49

• Mandii remarks on recent disturbing trends—media and society trying to reframe or normalize pedophilia (“as a mental disorder, not a crime”).

  • “We are in a place where they are trying to rewrite pedophilia as not a crime, but just like a mental disorder…” (Mandii, 05:45)
  • They critique age-gap content (like Netflix’s “Age of Attraction”), childhood sexualization, and recall their own teenage experiences dating older men, confronting uncomfortable truths.
  • “That was fucking pedophilia. 14, 15 years old, dealing with a 22, 23 year old nigga.” (Mandii, 27:40)

• Weezy stresses that even if teens “want” older partners, the responsibility always lies with adults.

  • “The second...that you say yes, it’s still a no.” (Weezy, 28:10)

4. Sexual Liberation vs. Societal Backlash

Timestamp: 04:16, 08:21

• Both hosts reflect on how public attitudes have swung—from shaming sexual liberation to briefly accepting it (“sluttification era”—2018/2019), and now seemingly back to conservative pushback.

  • “I feel like when we started the show, we looked bad for doing it. Then...it became like 2018, 2019, slutt and all that...and now it’s going back down again.” (Weezy, 08:57)

• Weezy stays adamant about vocalizing sexual freedom (“I’m tired of the manosphere making us feel bad for being free-spirited... I’m going to continue to do it.”) and believes sexual conversations cannot always be dark and cautionary.

• Mandii feels a growing responsibility to address trauma and risk, seeking a balance between empowerment and responsible dialogue.

5. Empathy for Male Victims & Complexity of Accountability

Timestamp: 20:24, 31:06, 35:42

• Mandii underlines an often-ignored reality: many men are also victims of abuse, sometimes by women. She urges for discourse that holds space for all victims and cautions against one-dimensional gendered narratives.

  • “We have gotten to a place where the gender wars conversation is so, like, polarizing that unfortunately, women aren't even holding the space or empathy for the men who are victims. But also, there are women now, and we've seen it. We have women that are coming out like, saying they lie.“ (Mandii, 20:24)

• Weezy remains skeptical high-powered men are oppressed, but is more emotionally impacted by the prevalence of female victims: “...my whole life, I have seen women be taken advantage of. My own mom, bro.” (Weezy, 35:16)

6. Social Media & Dating — Red Flag or Green Flag?

Timestamp: 38:53–44:35

• The hosts question whether dating someone with zero social media presence is a red or green flag.

  • Both find it ultimately a green flag, citing less obsession, more presence, and avoiding unnecessary post-breakup stalking.
  • “A man with no social media is a blessing in disguise.” (Mandii, 42:35)

• Age is a factor; older men not having socials isn’t suspicious to Mandii. Weezy discusses the downsides to both having and not having socials in a relationship (“...you can’t find out the other bitches you fucked from the likes. Cool.”)

7. Healthy Disagreement & Relationship Arguments

Timestamp: 45:00–67:24

• The episode pivots to practical advice for better disagreements, inspired by watching other couples fight poorly.

• Main tips:

  • Use a timer in arguments to prevent endless, unproductive fighting.
    • “We already do the check-in every six of the month where we spend 45 min talking about [issues]...if we’re not there by the end of [an hour], at the end of that it’s like, we not breaking up. We’re still in love…” (Weezy, 53:12)
  • Avoid character attacks (“You’re so stupid” vs. “That thing you did hurt me.”)
  • Don’t bring up past grievances in new arguments.
  • Do not make your partner feel inferior (“contempt”).
  • Seek to understand and restate what your partner said.
    • “Tell me what you learned from what I said, and I have to repeat it back, and then we pretty much piece it up.” (Weezy, 53:12)

• Mandii: “A n***a not gonna respect you if you don't respect yourself.” (Mandii, 55:52)

• Both hosts agree on the importance of conflict resolution skills, pointing out that many have never been taught how to fight fair.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Monica Lewinsky

  • “A woman regretting a sexual choice doesn’t make her a victim is what I’m saying.” (Mandii, 16:29)
  • “I don’t believe in any normal world, Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton would meet in a bar, and she would do this thing. He’s the president of the United States, bro.” (Weezy, 12:23)

• On Male Victims

  • “There are women who have violated. And so, unfortunately...women aren't even holding the space or empathy for the men who are victims.” (Mandii, 20:24)

• On Social Media Dating Red Flags

  • “A man with no social media is a blessing in disguise.” (Mandii, 42:35)
  • “Do people that don’t have social media have a vibe?” (Weezy, 43:10)

• On Pedophilia Conversations

  • “That was fucking pedophilia. 14, 15 years old, dealing with a 22, 23 year old nigga.” (Mandii, 27:40)
  • “Even if a kid ‘wants’ it, the second...you say yes, it's still a no.” (Weezy, 28:10)

• On Arguing Tips

  • “Criticizing your partner’s character should be a hell no. ‘You’re so stupid’ versus ‘That thing you did hurt my feelings.’” (Weezy, 59:33)
  • “Never making the person feel inferior, never holding them in contempt.” (Weezy, 66:56)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Weaponization of sex/gender wars begin — 00:01, 12:20
• Monica Lewinsky and victim narratives — 10:31–17:03
• Exploring responsibility in sexual liberation — 04:16, 08:21
• Nuance around pedophilia, age, consent — 26:22–30:49
• Social media and dating debate — 38:53–44:35
• Tips for arguing/relationship health — 45:00–67:24

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Conclusion

This episode is a candid, unfiltered exploration of how conversations around sex, power, and relationships have grown even more complex—and contentious—in the modern era. Mandii and Weezy highlight the importance of holding both men and women accountable, approach controversial topics with nuance, and offer real advice on how to disagree productively. Listeners will find equal parts challenge, humor, and practical wisdom for navigating today’s dating and social landscape.

Transcript

[A]

I have an issue with the weaponization of sex right now. To where men are scared to work with us at this point to where women are able to just say I felt uncomfortable and a man's life can be ruined and the fact that a woman at every sense is a victim. Now this isn't to victim blame but I genuinely feel like bitch, she saved the dress. We have gotten to a place where the gender wars conversation is so like polarizing that unfortunately women aren't even holding the space or empathy for the men who are victims. But also there are women now and we've seen it. We have women that are coming out like saying they lie.

[B]

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[B]

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[A]

Decisions, decisions. Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Decisions Decision. It's your girl, Mandy B.

[B]

Hey, and I'm wheezy. You know, fellow girl I know we

[A]

here, we get to know some guests. What?

[B]

Oh, are you a little exhausted these last few weeks with the push back on what you want? Cause I was just randomly on like IG and the clip popped back up of Sarah being like, mandy, I think you would get married.

[A]

And I was like, I mean, but I've been dealing with that my whole life. Like every time I said I didn't want kids or didn't want marriage, it used to be, you will when you get older. You will when you get older. And now I'm 35, still saying it. And now it's a bit of not really the same. I think it's felt really good, especially from our Patreon community and the people that follow me. For women to say, girl, this is a hard, long fight, but you're a soldier and we appreciate you. We need you to keep speaking for us because it's also difficult. We talked about it on Patreon, but it's difficult to also hear women in their late 40s and 50s feeling regret now that they don't have children and they don't have and they feel like they wasted time or went after the wrong man. And it's just like for me, I'm, I don't know, I'm having a really, maybe, maybe outer body experience with some of the pushback. I know I'm happy with where I am. I will say when it comes to, and I wouldn't say exhaust, but I did kind of want to have a conversation with you a bit, because I do feel like it's becoming a little bit more difficult to speak from the sexually liberated lens with everything that's happening politically. And so for me, like, what do

[B]

you mean with, like, Epstein?

[A]

Not only Epstein, but, like.

[B]

Cause I know that happened on a few days.

[A]

Yeah. We've had just a few different disagreements on things. And so for me, it's leaning into what is our responsibility, like, for pushing. I don't wanna say we're pushing an agenda, but people will say that for me to have these conversations as women who push sexual liberation, who push freedom, who support sex work, who talk about hoe culture and casual sex and all these things, there's just also a responsibility that I wanna make sure we have with talking about the dangers of it and the trauma that can be associated with it or that comes from it, and also finding out what things in real time we may have to unlearn. And so to me, that's just, I guess, becoming a little bit more tricky, especially knowing, like. And I was talking about it on selective ignorance. But we're also in a place where they are trying to rewrite pedophilia as not a crime, but just like a mental disorder the same way that we have to. We are learning how to accept people with ADHD and. And tisms and things that we didn't understand before. They're even trying to reshape pedophilia in that way to where it's more accepting. And so when we talk about things that we did when we were younger, I know we talked about even, you know, there was a cross out of us discussing something that I wanted to know with Demi Lovato and Keke Palmer talking about dating older men at a certain age. And so for me, I'm just like, really? Really, I guess not knowing how to continue this fight while being responsible, if that makes sense. That's kind of where my exhaust is coming from. Because there's a way that I want to champion sex while also making sure, like, we're being responsible while doing it. Because the swing of the pendulum right now is scaring me. It is.

[B]

I don't know. I think our first time really being on a different page. I know you probably feel like we're always on a different page, but, like, as far as this work goes, we're obviously on the same page because this is what we want. The show, whatever, when Novool's Bard was being written. And I'm like, saying to you, you can't regret everything. You can't Regret everything. And you're like, but my reality is different. And then the moment we had with Pastor Danny where I'm like, I don't fuck with this whole hoes aren't happy shit. I'm actually. I feel like in the opposite place.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I feel like my entire world is everybody trying to make sex dark. Feel like everything I'm seeing is even the thing we brought up with Kiki, with Shirley, Ralph. Like, I'm just stop the absence. Like we're saying that. Or even having Sarah on. As much as I like Sarah, her followers were annoying to me because I'm like, the whole Jezebel idea. Like, stop acting like I can't talk freely when n can. So I'm gonna continue to do it. I feel like when we started the show, we looked bad for doing it. Then there became an era like 2018, 2019, slutt and all that.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And now it's going back down again. And I'm gonna stay on this shit. I'm telling you, I'll have a fucking baby in my stomach with hoes. Like, really? I. I feel like I have even more responsibility, like you said. What responsibility? We owe, obviously, sexual safety, but to always keep screaming this. I'm tired of the manosphere making us feel bad for being free spirited. And for those listening on audio, I'm doing quotation marks. But, like, for real, like, even as the content that I'm consuming, the women are getting older like us and saying sex looks different. One of the first times I knew you were really shifting to beyond the book was Kimmy Crawford. We were on her show, okay. And she said, like a homeboy. And I was like, that felt real good. And you were like, no, it doesn't. That's what you do when you're young. That's. That's stupid. It hurt. It's. That's. That's not healing. I know why you said that. But I'm also in the brain of, like, I'm not gonna hold you, Mandy.

[A]

Like it did. Here's the. Even this week, I have two examples that have actually been weighing heavily on my brain. And I was just like, how do I talk about this?

[B]

Tell me.

[A]

So the first one. And I don't know if y' all are gonna see it on Patreon. Cause it was bts. It was just a conversation happening to me. There's a responsibility right now where accountability needs to be had for one and for two. There has to be.

[B]

Where was this bts? What was it?

[A]

So for me, I don't like that. Innocence is just like that. Women are just these victims all the time. So let's get into it. So, y', all, we were having a random conversation about Monica Lewinsky.

[B]

No, we weren't. That was on the mic, I thought.

[A]

No, this was all off mic. This was before mic, bitch. No, no, that was not on the mic.

[B]

But, Keke, it wasn't.

[A]

It was while we were getting mic'd up. So y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

So we're having this conversation about Monica Lewinsky. First off, bitches is saying monica. I'm thinking white flip flops. I'm like, why? Who? Monica got a podcast. I love thug or what they call her Monica. I don't know. But gunica. That's what they call Gunica, okay? So I was like, gunica got a motherfucking podcast. They're like, no, Monica Lewinsky. I said, bitch, Monica Lewinsky does not

[B]

get the call me and Danisha work with.

[A]

I get it.

[B]

But you're saying Monica, I would never think out in the street.

[A]

So hear me out.

[B]

Monica was mine, so hear me out.

[A]

So we're having this conversation about Monica Lewinsky, and out of nowhere. Not really out of nowhere. We're just getting to talk about. And somehow the conversation is her reclaiming and having this power and apparently realizing that she was a victim. And I said, a victim of what? What the fuck was she a victim of? And so there was a conversation of, well, she was a victim because Bill Clinton is this powerful man, and, you know, because he's so powerful, and there's this power dynamic. Then she couldn't say no. But I'm like, she's also said publicly she wanted to do it. There's a person who apparently was blackmailing her.

[B]

Hold on, wait, wait, wait, hold on. You have to use the word dry.

[A]

Z.

[B]

It wasn't like wanted to. Like, Bill was walking down the street. She was just saying there was, like, no coercion. There's a lot of context to that. And that context matters because why I said victim is I don't believe in any normal world, Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton would meet in a bar, and she would do this thing. He's the president of the United States, bro.

[A]

So not only is he the president of the United States, he was a married man. Not only that, her boss. She was 20 years old. We know what the fuck sucking dick of your boss is like. So for me, I have an issue with the weaponization of sex right now. To where men are scared to work with us at this point. To where Women are able to just say, I felt uncomfortable and a man's life can be ruined. And the fact that a woman at every sense is a victim. Now this isn't to victim blame, but I genuinely feel like, bitch, she saved the dress that that nigga nutted on. Who does that? That's literally premeditated shit.

[B]

But you're also wording it in a way that makes her look like she's at fault. If I had a dress that someone came out, you think she kept it washing.

[A]

Here's the thing. There's no at fault. I can't tell you if I fucked

[B]

in this dress or not.

[A]

But there's no at fault. To me though. There's also no conversation of her being a victim in this sense. Like to me also, there are real victims out here.

[B]

I think we're not also playing into the context when Kiki, I think it was Kiki Danisha and I both saying she was Monica was tore up by the world. Like she was slut shamed.

[A]

Yes, by the world. But she was not a victim of a sexual act.

[B]

But we're not a victim in entirety,

[A]

but a victim in the, in the patriarchy is different.

[B]

But I think I and all of us are talking about what she experienced.

[A]

Our conversation with Britney Spears is a victim. Our conversation though also led to. Because even at one point you brought up her age and I was just like. But on the Patreon episode the day before, you had talked about knowing your pleasures at a very young age. And I even disagreed with that.

[B]

So I don't think she sucked Bill's dick for pleasure, do you?

[A]

She apparently allegedly said she wanted to do it now apparently also.

[B]

Where are you getting this from?

[A]

We were having it in a conversation. She said this.

[B]

But where are you saying she said this?

[A]

Let me just go ahead and find a source. I didn't know I had to find a source for this.

[B]

But no, because the way you're saying is like she was into Bill.

[A]

Well, the conversation that we had yesterday or on set was also that she was doing it in hopes to promote her career. So you wanted to suck dick, thinking that in exchange your career would go up. So for me, that's the conversation.

[B]

That's Monica Lewinsky went into the Oval Office and said, can I suck your dick for xyz?

[A]

No, but if you.

[B]

Well, let me keep cooking. That is where I'm talking about things being high powered men and us not understanding at the time that. Look at every tabloid back then, like Monica was just his tart. Bill led that you're not gonna just suck a dick cuz you hope it'll work. This is absolutely the coercion of a man. We know this. We're smarter than this now.

[A]

But as a woman, if you believe that fellatio is going to advance your career and you choose to get on your knees in hopes that it advances your career, I think that if her career advanced and nothing got out and she didn't get slut shamed by the world, then she would have never been a victim. So. So that's what I'm saying. Like she chose to because.

[B]

Well, because that's also not the case. Right? Because if. If Monica had a private conversation in her 50s today. Meaning like, you know, like I ended up doing xyz, but I had a high powered boss. It made me feel like I had to do certain things or let me know I was more special. If XYZ happened, her partner, her friends would be like, damn, you are like. That's the first thing I would say

[A]

out of my mouth. If I don't. I don't think I get you.

[B]

Basically, like you're saying she's only a victim because we know about it. That's not true. If she had a problem.

[A]

No, to me, I'm saying she's not a victim at all.

[B]

Yes, you're saying she's a victim because it's all out.

[A]

No, I'm saying she's not a victim at all. You say.

[B]

I know that's what you're saying.

[A]

You're saying that she's saying the words

[B]

that just came out of your mouth. That the claim.

[A]

The claim is that she's a victim because she was slut shamed. But what I'm saying is I think it's all encompassing. If she went in to suck dick to get a promotion and it didn't pan out for her the way she thought it would to me. I don't care if it's 30 years later, whatever. To me, while we're having these conversations around sex. A woman regretting a sexual choice doesn't make her a victim is what I'm saying. Okay, so when we're having.

[B]

Let me ask you a question. Like, sorry to make you uncomfortable. Reggie. Reggie's been working here a year and a half. Year, year, year change. Okay.

[A]

Is your mic on?

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Reggie, technically I'm your boss. You're an independent contractor. But this is a boss relationship now. If you wanted to start flying around and doing more shit and stuff like that, you. And I was like, well, Reggie, I want you to do some nasty shit with me. And you weren't into that. And then suddenly I never gave it to you or I did give it to you. You didn't want to do this with me. You've got a girlfriend. You really didn't want to do this thing. Are we not saying Reggie is a victim just because he willingly did it? Just because I didn't take it from him?

[A]

That's like pressuring me into a type of thing. Correct.

[B]

So I would be a victim. But you're saying.

[A]

But what I'm saying, you're saying you

[B]

wouldn't be a victim.

[A]

But if Monica Lewinsky went in and was like, my career, if I do that. A lot of women use sex powerfully, right? Which is what I'm saying. If you know that it's a bargaining chip or you know it can advance.

[B]

Do you think Monica was that fucking at 20 years old, walking around the office doing all of that? Or do you think a grown ass man probably made her feel that way? Mandy, we know how awful there's a reason that men are. The larger like makeup of murderers or even sexual assault. Like, do we really think here Monica was so smart to have done that? Or if that happened with me and Reggie.

[A]

Well, numbers are also skewed because there's so many men that don't know that they've been sexually assaulted by women. Girl, I don't know if you see, wait, when I look up sex in the news, it is nothing but female teachers touching fucking boys.

[B]

Mandy, I'm not saying that's not true. But let's go back to baby man and the bear. Then I'mma ask you. Reggie. Yeah.

[A]

A baby.

[B]

You have a baby.

[A]

A. Wait a second.

[B]

Would you trust a male babysitter? No, I'm saying how many people said the bear? I'm just saying you would rather be

[A]

in the woods with a bear than a man.

[B]

Just let me finish with the man and the bear thing. We saw so many people say bear because they didn't trust a man around their kid. If you had to choose a babysitter for your child, would you pick a man or a woman? Obviously a woman, just more maternal instincts. I actually disagree. I think you would feel safer because it's a woman. I would feel safer cause it's a woman. My whole life, my mom was fucking terrified to leave me with an uncle, bro.

[A]

So what you're saying is exactly.

[B]

Men are predatorial.

[A]

But what you're saying is literally what I'm saying in reverse. The responsibility that we have to talk about sex in a certain way. Now there are men that feel this way about women. Now there are men that are saying, I don't want to work with women because they can say that I did something that I didn't do. And now everything is taken from me because now this label is put on me. And so my thing is the same way that women, we fear men. There are men now in fear of women because sex and certain things are being weaponized in a way that is unfortunately swinging this pendulum.

[B]

There's men that literally, the only reason I disagree, right. We have the Internet. Women are more inclined to talk. They feel like they can tell, right? One in four women have been assaulted. You and I are two. Okay, Reggie, I'm sure you know some. My own mother, my own grandmother, actually don't know many women that have it. And so I say that to say, what do I care if niggas are scared? Yes, be scared. I want my daughter's male teacher to be scared. She'll say something if he starts to let her touch it or remember the braiding hair thing. I want every nigga to be scared.

[A]

And so I'll be honest with you. If I can think of 10 of my homeboys because we have this platform and because of the conversations I'm able to have with them, 7 out of 10 have been touched. If I go back to their childhood, and it wasn't always by men. There are women who have violated. And so, unfortunately, when I'm talking about sex as a whole, we have gotten to a place where the gender wars conversation is so, like, polarizing that unfortunately, women aren't even holding the space or empathy for the men who are victims. But also, there are women now, and we've seen it. We have women that are coming out, like, saying they lied. This has been. And this is before Emmett Till, bitch. There are modern day women that know that all I gotta do is say, you touched me. All I gotta do is say, you made me uncomfortable.

[B]

There's also responsibility to not push this narrative.

[A]

There is. I get that. But so for me, when we're having these conversations, I want to be a little bit more nuanced.

[B]

Well, tell me the second thing that was on your mind. Cause you said, monica, tell me the second thing.

[A]

The second thing was the conversation that we had on Patreon where she. Where she opened up and said, I

[B]

knew I was sexy, that she was.

[A]

That she looked like sex as a child. She always served sex, even as a child. And I was like, oh, my God. That makes me uncomfortable because you shouldn't have. And so as I pulled it out from her, she's like, yeah, I was abused, and maybe she didn't wanna go dark that way. And then for you to sit there. And this is where I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You brought up how even though you were young, whether it was 14, 15, whenever you were playing with yourself, whenever you started having sex, how empowered you were and how good it felt. And for me.

[B]

Well, let me. Let me cut you. I wanna speak for myself.

[A]

Well, no, I never.

[B]

Wait, wait, no, no, you're speaking for me. Let me just explain what I said. I never say I felt empowered. I like to have conversations about our own sexuality as we're growing up, because I never felt like we could, because it can turn dark. But there is a real reality of we all had a sexuality of ourselves at that age. That's what I wanted to portray. We were all on a weird. You know, in that moment, if anyone saw that episode, I'm confused. Mandy confused. And she was confused, but that was my intent.

[A]

Well. Well, I know you maybe just y' all didn't want to take it dark, but. So for me, that's where I'm saying the exhaustion right now is feeling the weight of the responsibility to have these conversations more responsibly.

[B]

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[C]

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[A]

and so for me, with the goddamn Epstein files coming out and seeing all of these children that were being dealt with, people still like you know, wanting R. Kelly to come out and like be released and said that I'll go to his concert because a lot of people believe that 14 year old girl wanted all of that. There's people who are like believing that children are saying yes and consenting and enjoying the sex that they're having with grown adults. So for me, I feel like I'm

[B]

not on this part of the Internet. I Genuinely am not saying this, Mindy. The bulk of, I don't know, one person that is okay with kids getting assaulted.

[A]

I just told you though, they are literally trying to reframe what pedophilia is.

[B]

I know, but I think all is of humanity. The nor like the normies in the world. I think we're all in this room have different opinions on everything but that. I think we've got to like, you know why want it.

[A]

But it's still. But no, I disagree with that. And you know why a kid could

[B]

want that from an older person.

[A]

But it's still pedophilia. But no, kids aren't really but consenting. They don't know you're saying teenager. No, they could want. But even. But even that. But even that, right? The fact that Demi and Keke us, we dealt with older men, that was fucking pedophilia.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

14, 15 years old. Dealing with a 22, 23 year old nigga. What I'm saying is we could sit here and say we're against pedophilia, but we also. That's what was striked out.

[B]

I just watched, to Reggie's point, I just watched a movie named Crush. Cause I'm an Amazon prime junkie now. For the free section, Alicia Silverstone, who is in Clueless, is pursuing an older guy. She's like 15, 16 and pretty girl. And my boyfriend and I are watching this, he's like, yo, seeing the other side of a kid pursuing an adult is so crazy. But it's still no excuse. Because the second to Reggie's point that you say yes, it's still a no.

[A]

But if you. But. And I haven't seen that movie. But we know that we were lying about our ages with certain men. So, you know, unfortunately, that's a whole different layer. But you're still a child. And so for me, when you're like the people in this room, we condemn pedophilia. But no, for whatever reason, there's not a conversation where we can condemn like the older men that were fucking us as children because, well, it was okay to do at the time. Like, and so right now when you say you're on a different part of the Internet, there are so many people also upset that Netflix has this Age of Attraction show right now. So they're even normalizing in a way, these drastic age gaps between people. A 60 year old and a 27 year old, a 42 year old and a 28 year old. Like, so if we're like literally saying like, age ain't nothing but a number again, bro, We've already went down this

[B]

road, but this is Mandy. Okay, wait, now.

[A]

And because to me, I don't.

[B]

I'm not trying to toss this back at you, but I genuinely want to know. You've also said that too, when wanting to date younger men.

[A]

I've said what? Like, because I'm not dating a 17 year old or an 18 year old.

[B]

I'm not saying pedophilia. We're talking about age of attraction now.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Eight year old and a 42 year old. You've dated younger. Like it's 28 and 42. Crazy.

[A]

I mean, maybe.

[B]

Because I actually don't think that's crazy.

[A]

Well, that was not crazy, but 60 and 27. Absolutely. And so there's drastic age gaps. I just was throwing out numbers. I don't even know if.

[B]

When you said that.

[A]

No, I don't even know if those are certain age gaps. But someone 20, 30, 40 years apart from you. Yes. And so when that's now being accepted in that lens, it's going to make maybe a 23 year old think 15 isn't that bad. That's only eight years from a 15 year old. Like, that's what I'm saying. And we had already gotten to a point in society where we were like, these niggas nasty. Why they hanging out at the high school? But no, we literally have scientists now trying to reframe. Pedophilia is not a crime, but just a mental disorder that is that, you

[B]

know, I think there's two layers to this too.

[A]

And then we have entertainment.

[B]

Pedophilia is criminal and you're fucked up in the brain. If you're schizophrenic and you kill somebody, you don't go to jail. Of course you go to jail. Like, yes, there's a wire off, bro.

[A]

And guess what? Other countries are locking away the key and throwing away the shit for the niggas in the Epstein files. Guess what we're not doing here in the US of A. We're not treating it the same.

[B]

Bro, I'm on your team with this guy.

[A]

No, no, no, but. But I'm only speaking through the general thing. So as we. So you asked me if I'm exhausted about defending being a modern day woman. Not as much as I'm exhausted about the importance right now of having responsible conversations about sex. And so.

[B]

So I guess also as a woman who's been on the other end with being coerced by men, being physically abused, fuck emotional, like being beat by a nigga is insane. Like, really, right? All of these things are also assault. And I'm trying to skip the R word, but that's what I mean when I say assault. I've been. My virginity was taken that way, bro. Like, it's hard for me to be like, yeah, women too. And. And I guess I just can't be in that place with you right now.

[A]

I get that.

[B]

But I also. The only thing I am with. I'm with you on my homeboys as well. Previous partners have told me the exact same thing about women touching them and xyz.

[A]

Well, not only that. You brought up getting your ass beat, bro. The way I'm, like, checking my friends how many years later, why you still putting your hands on these niggas, bro? Like, so for me, I mean. And there's just a grandeur.

[B]

We rarely see men. And this is the truth, though, Mandy, the reason it's not as part of. We don't really see men show up with black. Like, the video even from the Bachelorette that N didn't manhandle her. He recorded it because he knew he

[A]

could whoop her ass if he wanted to. But that's the one video. She was awful. She threw a chair at that nigga. But let's be very clear.

[B]

She was crazy.

[A]

Let's be very clear. And when men come forward and say, my woman's beating me, you a bitch. Why? How you letting her. We laugh at that shit. And so that's where, again, I think that's the exhaustion right now. And it's because I'm seeing the gender wars. I'm seeing women. Like, the Internet now is also feeding us that women are happier, single women are finding peace. Women don't want men anymore. Women are saying, fuck humans. And it's creating this narrative that women are the only victims here and that women are also not perpetrating a thing where we're weaponizing sex in a way that is not allowing us to actually grow and create a society where men can feel safe around us. And we as women can get to a place to feel safe around men as well especially. It's so weird, the fact that we fear men so much, but yet from a patriarchal standpoint, there are providers and there are protectors. Protectors is the one thing that also, we lean into men from a patriarchal, romantic standpoint. So it's so crazy that women want to fucking be with the bear, but yet they want to be married and have kids and can't wait to be chosen by a man.

[B]

I guess the question or the exhaustion you have is kind of an oxymoron because men are only scared because they're now being held accountable. So what world would we rather live in? The one where you watch Mad Men and the way these girls be talking to you should wear a shorter skirt, honey. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I mean, I watched two episodes of Mad Men for the first time, and

[A]

I was like, God damn. It was like when I saw the transcripts. Now, I love Joy, but when I saw the transcripts, I. Of whatever affidavit got released, she was actively having a relationship with the CEO of Fox Sports or whatever to advance her career. And it came out in the affidavit, and not sure who said it, but someone said she said this. That if it came to a point where she got caught, she would just say she was forced to do it.

[B]

I don't know if that was someone's words, though.

[A]

It was someone's words. I get that. Which is why. And I just said, I love Joy. But what I'm saying is I. I have seen and heard people say that if things don't go the right way, they can say this, and then they become the There is a place. Now, did Joy do that, though?

[B]

She never did.

[A]

No, no, no. I didn't say that.

[B]

I know she didn't.

[A]

I'm just saying. I'm saying I've seen other women do it. I know.

[B]

I'm just saying the person that said that Joy said that. We saw not one comment of Joy being like, I was forced by Skip. Never happened. Never happened.

[A]

Well, yeah, no. Her and Skip never did anything. I was talking about the CEO of whoever.

[B]

She still never said that she was

[A]

having a relationship with him. That's why her fiance ended the relationship. She cheated. Got it. All I'm saying is I have seen for my own eyes and heard women say that they would use that to their benefit to ruin a man.

[B]

I just know less of those women and more of the ones that have really been hurt. So that's why I don't care. That's genuinely why I don't care, Mandy.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

My whole life, I have seen women be taken advantage of. My own mom, bro. Like, with the closest man that could have ever been the closest man to her. So whatever that means for people listening without putting my mom's business out there. Take that. My own mom and I overheard that at seven.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So to me, it's just like, I ain't heard a bunch of bitches in my life being like, I'm gonna get my boss. That's why I don't give a fuck.

[A]

To me, it's exhausting because it becomes this gender thing. We can't want to be. And when I say we, I'm clearly not speaking for myself. We cannot be so male censored as women and want to be wives. And so much to have the security to stay with a man and bear his children while also being. Yeah, well, fuck men. Fuck what they've gone through. But we not speaking for like. So for me, that's the exhaustion. If we're going to have conversations from a responsible lens, I want to address both sides. Even if you're seeing. Yes, I. Most women have been victims. Yes. Of sexual assault and being taken advantage of by men. I have. I wrote it in my book. I was assaulted without even knowing it was assault. So. But I'm hearing more men come out as well and so hurt people. Hurt people in order to have these conversations that actually make a difference. We can't say, man, fuck them niggas while also wanting to be chosen by them every other second. So like to me it's the. How can we get from a place where we fear men just altogether and fuck men and fuck their trauma because women experience it at the hands of men. But then when we talk about these romantic desires in terms of romantic relationships, it's. But men are the protectors. Men are who makes me feel safe. That's the oxymoron to me. So seeking men. And mind you, we're speaking from a heterosexual place. And I get that we are both bisexual, so we also deal with women. But to me, that's where the exhaustion is coming from. Because on the other end, there is no one speaking for the men who have also experienced these things for the men who are being targeted.

[B]

I don't know if like men not having a voice. Like, I feel like our whole lives have been centered around.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

And maybe it's hard to have this convo in this moment. Like really maybe it is for me because like I feel what you're saying. Like I do when it comes to like the pedophilia shit, I'm on 100% board with that because yes, little boys too. But the Monica shit, I just, I don't really care to keep high powered men safe. I don't know, like if that's a thing in my mind, our prioritization, a high powered CEO, do we really give a fuck about making sure he feels good around women? Who cares, dude? Do I care about Our brothers, our friends, our sons. Not being manipulated in coerce and being safe with the women around them that are meant there to protect them. Yes, but a Monica and a president? Fuck that white nigga, bro. And fuck Hillary too, because she knew it, like, literally, bro. Fuck all these white niggas. Fuck Trump. Fuck Bill Clinton, all of them. And Joe. All of them are gross. Joe is gross with the little kid videos. They're all fucking weirdos.

[A]

And all I'm saying is fuck the few women. I'll say few, since you don't know as many. Fuck the women weaponizing sex.

[B]

That's a good. Agreed. Okay. Found a clip and actually would love to know what we all think about this. I want to know about. On the women's side when you meet women, Reggie. All right, this is a huge red flag to me. If they have no social media, I know that that is a green flag for a lot of people, but it's so green that it's red. That is why. Why don't you have social media? What are you hiding? Do you guys agree? Like, I think that's sketchy. It's 2026. You should at least have an Instagram account whether you post on it or not. I think it's a red flag. Sure, it can mean that you're deeply private, but it can also mean that you are intentionally untraceable. Is no social media actually a red flag? Cuz I thought I loved it. And then when she's like, you're untraceable, I was like, damn, she kind of right. Do you know what one of my homegirls said when I was gloating about my nigga not having socials when I met him? She was like, great, so you can't find out the other bitches you fucked from the likes. Cool.

[A]

And I was like, I mean, my ex didn't have social media. Both of my. Well, in my.

[B]

Wait, that might not be good.

[A]

That might not be a good example, but no, you even actor bae. Actor BAE had three posts on Facebook.

[B]

That doesn't count. That's what she. No, that doesn't count none. Nothing. Having three posts. We all got a friend. That don't. I ain't post since last year. That don't count. That doesn't count.

[A]

Why does that not count?

[B]

Because your activity on it doesn't matter. You still have a profile and presence.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Being erased from the Internet is different, though, now.

[A]

I guess it was different for my ex because again, he was 17 years older than me, so he literally didn't understand. Does he have Facebook? He has Facebook.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But he didn't understand. It's so funny. He used to always say, yeah, she makes money on the Internet. But I don't know. Like, he genuinely didn't know how to. We made money even with podcasting. So for me, there's also an age thing for it. I'm not mad if I meet someone in their 50s.

[B]

Not age again.

[A]

Yeah, I don't mind if someone in their 50s doesn't have a social media.

[B]

So, like, when she said that, I feel like you and I both talked about, oh, that nigga ain't got no Instagram. It's great. Like, we've both said that. But wanting to be untraceable. Like, the way things uncover. Finding out someone's marriage, finding out relationships. When I click on a nigga's Instagram, now I get to learn you. Reggie, would you. When you meet a woman and she doesn't have Instagram, is it a red flag? Slightly, but she has to have a good reason.

[A]

Like, like, work.

[B]

You work in, like, the government or something. Or like, you work in corporate America.

[A]

It's just easier not to have one

[B]

because you're going to think it's a lie.

[A]

Yeah, but I have a close friend

[B]

who doesn't have social media.

[A]

He just said it's easier that way.

[B]

Like, he'll still be updated on everything, but he just doesn't have a social media.

[A]

And women don't mind.

[B]

Like, they don't mind. I mean, I don't mind.

[A]

I don't mind. I don't mind a man not having a social media. I will say with shit. And the other one I just broke up with, he has only three posts on his page. My last three exes, it has been a green flag. Like hell that they don't have social media. Because when we. Or they weren't active on social media because guess what? When we broke up, boy, was it easier for me to move on. My friends who date niggas with social accounts.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Are obsessed with checking what their lives look like, who they're dating. They.

[B]

The stories.

[A]

The stories where they're at, where they're traveling, what new bitch they fucking with, what new haircut they got to a point where it almost doesn't allow them to really work through healing from the breakup. It's like you're so obsessed with what your ex is doing that you're not able to even make room for someone else. So for me, I would say, fuck. Red flag, green flag. A man with no Social media is a blessing in disguise.

[B]

I. I'm not gonna lie, I enjoy it. Actually. I had a tarot reader at my birthday and he said something to my boyfriend that I thought was so weird.

[A]

Uh oh.

[B]

So everything apparently was positive. But he said, you must hide yourself a lot. You know, you should start being out there more. He's like, I bet you don't have a social media. He's like, do you? So we start talking about it that morning and he's like, isn't that. He's like, I wonder if he just knew. Like, maybe he knew I was your man.

[A]

Maybe he right.

[B]

And I was like, yo, I don't think he did. I had never seen the tarot reader before he was hired by Mistress E. Like, how was he supposed to know that was my nigga out of all the niggas in there? I don't think so. And then the crazier part about that is like, do people that don't have social media have a vibe?

[A]

All my niggas had a vibe. My niggas had vibes. I like vibey niggas.

[B]

No, I want a vibe. Like, I ain't on it.

[A]

I mean, to me, I like it. I do think that it's funny because I just saw a commercial of like, maybe it could have been AI ain't gonna hold you, but it was just showing all the things that we used to do as children. Right. Like go out and play till the street lights come on and just things that we did with people. And so for me, a man who doesn't have social media tends to know how to just get out in the world more.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And be present when like. And that's the thing that my ex used to do for me a lot actually, actor BAE too, is they weren't on the phones when I was around them, so it forced me to be less on my phone as well.

[B]

That's such a good thing.

[A]

And so they're actually a lot more present and not as like, they don't even. The doom scrolling isn't their thing. It's a thing that we have a habit because it's in our hand. We're going to be on our phone. So when I was dating guys that didn't have social media, I do find it like they were so much more present, being present.

[B]

My last, well, three relationships. So hospital dick. No social media. Old bae, last post was a year ago and my boyfriend now nothing.

[A]

The last three. Yeah, same, same. Okay, so it's not a. It's. I will say then we actually agree on this. It's a green flag. Green flag, Green flag.

[B]

So we listen and we judge. This week, this episode is supposed to be all about disagreeing better. And I wanted to talk about it because disagreeing better.

[A]

How do you think we did?

[B]

We did good.

[A]

We. Yeah, we ended up coming to. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like kind of finding a conclusion. Okay.

[A]

You know, we definitely disagree still. But bitch.

[B]

Cause make that disagreement six months ago we would have been out that dumb.

[A]

You know, we definitely still disagree. But I think that healthier if you and I can find a healthy way to respect that. We're in a way of viewing sex differently right now, you know, because the

[B]

world is a difference of opinion. So yeah, This is weezy. WTF? From Decisions, decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health. Learn the facts, ask questions and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnosis around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences this summer. Find your next obsession on Prime.

[A]

And let's be honest, we're all due for a new one.

[B]

It's been a minute.

[A]

Steamy romance, addictive love stories and the book to scream favorites you've already read twice. Because once was obviously not enough.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

I had a great tip for how we've been arguing that we love, but I wanted to start with we listen and we judge. I have a few homegirls right now.

[A]

They're all, I ain't gonna hold you. We just be coming on here and giving their tea, talking about all our friends. I feel like that's.

[B]

Well, well, well.

[A]

I feel like that's why one about to get cut off now. I feel like I said something here. Now she acting weird, so.

[B]

Well, I can't wait to find out who it was. We find out in the car ride home. Okay, we listen to each other. So all of them are growing through a breakup right now because of how they fought, having bad arguments, not being able to communicate and things they can't come back from. So I'm telling you about the first one. I got three. Number one, her boyfriend blocks her when she gets disrespectful. Basically. Stonewalling. That is the term.

[A]

Yes and no.

[B]

Okay. Because I know you do a lot.

[A]

I do a block when I'm like over you for a while. Me and Crystal actually just had this conversation. So when texting becomes too much back and forth, especially late at night, and that person is not respecting the fact that I'm done having this conversation. Let's talk another time. And it's constantly she was like, oh, I'll block men for the night because I don't want my phone blowing up with your text messages because you're not respecting the fact that I'm done having this conversation with you. Or we've come to too much of an impasse where let's let this breathe. And I've said that before, too. Like, if an argument gets too crazy, I literally don't want to have it anymore. You don't get to force me to keep going back and forth with you. So my friend, actually, Crystal, does that. She literally told me she. Because me and. Me and one of my booze, I thought we got into it, and so we ended the night. I woke up the next morning and went to text him, and, bitch, it didn't deliver. So I was like, what the fuck? So I was like, girl, I think he blocked me out, girl. His phone was just dead. So he hit me like, I'm still coming to pick you up. And I said, oh, my God, I

[B]

bet we were done.

[A]

Ignore the WhatsApp. I done went into other apps to communicate with you because I thought we ended worse than we did. He was like, no, my phone was dead. I said, I thought you blocked me. I thought this was. And he was like, no, but yet. And so when I told Crystal, she was like, oh, girl, it's cuz you kept texting him last night. I block niggas that want to keep going on because he had told me good night multiple times, and I kept sending him texts, so. But it's because I genuinely didn't.

[B]

Good night. Good night. Shut the fuck up.

[A]

It was just like, yeah.

[B]

So I'll tell you what happens.

[A]

Why is it called stonewalling? Are you blocking them? You won't speak to them, and then you come back to speaking to them? Is that not just creating a boundary?

[B]

No, stonewalling is like, for example, maybe I'll be more clear.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Well, the initial thing was he feels she gets disrespectful, and he'll block when I talk to her, and I'm like, what's going on? She's like, I'll call him out about something he's doing or ask him a question about a woman and be like, nigga, are you? Blah, blah, blah. And he'll block me until he's ready to talk to me days later, whatever it is. I'm just sitting there.

[A]

But is she. If his. If he said, I'm blocking you when you get disrespectful.

[B]

Well, I saw their last exchange, okay? And to me, disrespectful is also subjective to, like, whatever it is subjective. Right. Basically, she hit him up like he's popular, so, okay, she hit him up with a screenshot. Like, why are these hoes hit me up all the time. Like, you always do this shit to me. Like, I'm so fucking tired of you making me embarrassed. And he blocked her.

[A]

And I'm like, I'm so.

[B]

Bitches are hitting my phone.

[A]

I'm so fucking tired. Well, then at that point, though, and this is the thing that I say all the time, girl, if you sick and tired of these bitches, you sick and tired of these. That's her own disrespect bitch move.

[B]

But she not disrespecting him. A bitch hitting me up.

[A]

You know what she's doing? Disrespecting herself.

[B]

I'll take that bitch.

[A]

Have some fucking. Have some fucking decor. Have some self respect and leave. A nigga that keeps doing this, I

[B]

want to go back to.

[A]

Cause he blocking you and bringing you back. Because, okay, you gonna stay.

[B]

We never get there. We're arguing better. No, no, no, we may not. Cause I have more scenarios for us. Okay, but you said something. That was my tip. Arguing so much where you get to an impasse and, like, you can't. So my boyfriend and I's disagreements is never yelling. It's never hype. It's literally too long. My boyfriend has a thing where we're not going to bed angry, right? So if we can't get to the

[A]

point where we've had this conversation, right,

[B]

we're understanding each other. He's like, no, like, I want to keep talking to you until we get a conclusion. I'm like, but I'm not agreeing with you. I feel like you just hearing me and da, da, da, da, da. And like, I want to go to bed bitch, and cuddle. And he's just so upset, like, irritated with the fact that we can't finish this. So I was talking to my therapist about it, and he said, I'm going to give you the thing that helps your relationship, but y' all both have to agree to it. And you're going to work on a timer only when you want to have intense conversations and healthy ones. So in my relationship, we already do the check in every six of the month where we spend 45 minutes talking about. And each person gets 20, by the way. And the five is to resolve. So we. We set that shit. If you go doo, doo, doo, you only got another minute or two. But, like, pretty much airing out how we've been feeling about something. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not. Basically, now we use the timer for a regular disagreement. So. And as crazy as this may sound, like you need a Fucking timer. Like, this is just the way we, like, have to do it. So we'll set it. We'll put a good hour in there to hash things out. And if we're not there by the end of that hour, at the end of that, it's like, we not breaking up. We're still in love. Did you see me, like, tell me what you learned from what I said, and I have to repeat it back, and then we pretty much piece it up. We may be a little moody around the house for a little bit, but we get over it. But the main thing of it is, like, tell me what you learned from what I said. Like, one thing he recently said to me that I appreciated before he said, like, during the check in, he was like, you know what I realize when I get irritated with you? You really need me to hold it until we're home or until we have a moment alone. You can't really be told in the spot, and I know it, and I'll never do it again. Like, I can hold it. I'm not gonna ruin our night if we're at dinner and you said some shit or flirted with a nigga or something I didn't like, I'm gonna hold it. I'm gonna let us continue to enjoy each other. I recognize you need that from me. With that said. So, like, I think in previous arguments, even in work arguments, anything we've never really said to each other, I understand you need X, Y, Z. I'm going to attempt to do it. Just doesn't happen. And I think in romantic relationships and arguments, we get so fucking ego and defensive. Like, we want to be right so bad because we feel like we need to be treated well that we can't even, like, come to a middle ground. The listening to the response shit. So, like, I don't know. I hope everybody can consider the timer, because as weird as it is, it. It's so healthy for me.

[A]

I also want y' all to know a n not gonna respect you if you don't respect yourself.

[B]

Mm. Agreed with that.

[A]

These women keep hitting me up and, bitch, you still here?

[B]

I mean, she's getting her bills, but, you know, that's all a bitch want. Okay, number two, my friend needs space after arguments, and she mean she likes to get a hotel or stay at her friend's house. And her man says that she's incapable of resolution, and he wants them to move out over it and, like, wants to break up. So basically, what happens when they start arguing? She gets in the car and she Dips. And he's like, you don't know how to resolve. Why the fuck do you always need space? So when she was telling me at first, right, I was like, damn, that nigga won't let you just go to a homegirl house. What the fuck?

[A]

If that was in reverse, a woman is. I don't know any woman that wouldn't immediately go down the hole of anxiety where you at of what other bitch their man is house they're going to in a relationship. And we know as women. And that's my whole thing. It's why I want to be given the thing. Like, I'm willing to give the things that I want. I'm not gonna like. And so when I want space, I understand space. But I don't know what woman is fine with when her and her man get into an argument. He lead a hug, he leaves overnight.

[B]

I'm gonna tell you, man, what are

[A]

we talking about once.

[B]

Where you going? This is how I got to the

[A]

point where I heard what he was there.

[B]

She went to her homegirl's house. She started venting to me on the way there. Like, this nigga's so mad, I'm going to Alicia. I'm sorry. Nah, y' all ain't gonna know. He's so mad. I'm going to Alicia house. Da, da, da da. And I'm like, yo, he fucking tripping. Blah, blah, blah. A week later, we on the phone and she had a hotel. And then I was like, oh, bitch, I see why he's mad.

[A]

Because if you're arguing not only this consistently and you're leaving the house every time, I'm gonna think you have someone else you're going to see, bro, there's

[B]

no world where I wouldn't think my nigga was eating another puss. No world.

[A]

And I'm not mad with him wanting to end the relationship for this.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

If there's no if, there's no way for y' all to have conflict resolution. Y' all aren't the people for each other.

[B]

This is the thing.

[A]

I'm not gonna lie.

[B]

What?

[A]

I be sounding too mature now. Like, I gotta sell. Like, I'm listening to myself. Like, damn, bitch, you too mature. I don't know if this is as exciting. You need to be more toxic. I guess the only toxic trait is fuck them kids, and I want multiple boyfriends.

[B]

I don't think fuck them kids is toxic.

[A]

I'm telling you what the Internet tells me. I should care about bringing new life to the world. Kids are blessings These nuts.

[B]

So anyway, that's where the kids come from. Okay. This topic for me stemmed from being around a couple that was arguing. And I said this to you. Oh, wait, we never finished the outline. And I was like, oh, my God, we are so much better than them, bitch. We get like that with podcasts. When they break up, we be like, we hate each other, bitch. We stay together. So me and my nigga was around a couple and they was getting into little shit and we were like, you know, we petty, bitch. Me and my nigga knock knees with a motherfucker.

[A]

I think we did talk about it. To me, I think, oh, no, no.

[B]

I was gonna say, oh, how I came up with this outline. Okay, these are my tips for getting good at fighting.

[A]

These are tip. Oh, I said I'm too mature and you just took it all the way toxic. These are tips for getting good at fighting. Hear me out.

[B]

Criticizing your partner's character should be a hell no. You're so stupid versus that thing you did hurt my feelings. That thing you did wasn't right.

[A]

What?

[B]

What were you thinking in that moment instead of being like you?

[A]

So like, nah, nah, you can't even say what were you thinking in that moment? Very condescending.

[B]

If someone did something, what do you mean? What were you thinking then? What made you do that? I don't think that's bad.

[A]

What made you do that?

[B]

For example? Let's just say I'm out and you did some shit, Maybe you bought a drink, A drink at the bar. I'd be like, nigga, are you fucking stupid? Why the fuck would you do that? Instead of being like, yo, I'm right here, you know that would hurt me. What would make you do that to me? Why did you do that? Did you know that would hurt me?

[A]

There's so those are all different things. So.

[B]

So I'm saying personal characterization of like or name calling, really, right?

[A]

No, but what you went through, the last thing you said, did you know that that would hurt me? Is completely different than why the fuck would you do that?

[B]

Well, I also think that's.

[A]

It's also remove fuck. Why would you do that? Uh huh.

[B]

So all I'm saying here is criticizing someone as far as saying them.

[A]

But to me, when I think of the condescending why would you do that? Or what would make you do that? Or what were you thinking to do that? Those to me have condescending tones to it to where you could be indirectly calling that person stupid as fuck. And some people may hear that. Like, for me when you and I used to argue, I'm getting exactly what you're saying. But she used to be like, yeah, I don't think you even. I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying. Or I don't think you comprehend things like that. Especially if you're in a heated moment can be so condescending because. Are you calling flawed?

[B]

You know what you used to do?

[A]

No, not like that. But what I'm saying is. That's why I'm saying what you said last was great. But there's a tone that can come across as condescending, so that will block people out and calling them dumb.

[B]

Of what happened recently. There was another nigga in my house. And my man.

[A]

Whoa, there's another nigga in your house?

[B]

Me and my nigga were there. We were doing shit for the party. And he said. I said, oh, blah, blah, blah, is here. Like, something came up to hang up. And said person was like, you want me to hang it up? And I was like, yeah. And I handed him the toolbox. My man was like, why didn't you ask me what made you give it to him? I'm right here.

[A]

I'm your man. Two men are better than one.

[B]

And I was like, no, I gave it to him. To me. I'm sorry.

[A]

If there's another nigga in the house, we need all hands on deck. We're putting a party together.

[B]

You said, why would you do that?

[A]

Why else would a man be there to put a flower. Flower bouquets together? The nigga's here to help.

[B]

Well, I said, because he offered. And he's like, yo, this is our home. Like, you don't need to give handy shit to another n. Like, they're here kicking it.

[A]

Like, why was he there?

[B]

His wife was there helping me with something. Like, I can't be specific. Hair. His wife is doing my hair. And my man was like, yo. Like, I'm not gonna tell another bitch to cook it. I ain't gonna tell another bitch. Start like, can you make me a tea? What the fuck?

[A]

You my woman.

[B]

He's like, this is shit that is for me. Like, I take care of things in this house.

[A]

It's important for him to feel that

[B]

he could take care of the things around the house. Yeah. He's like, you passing shit to another nigga. Like, I can't fucking put a drill in the hole. That's not what he said, but I know that's what that thought is. Okay, so. But he said to me, why? Why did you do that in that moment. That was his question to me later when we spoke. I didn't think that was bad, but also.

[A]

How did you answer?

[B]

My answer was because he offered. And I was like, you know, I really didn't look at now the way he said it. I do understand. He's like. He's like, it's just so strange to me. The nigga was just standing there like, you and I are in this house working together. Like, why is another man going into our bedroom to drill something?

[A]

But see, that's where I go with the conversations. It should have been not, why would you do that? It should have actually been just. Just want to let you know, because maybe you didn't know. I feel away. And that hurt me that you asked another man to do that.

[B]

I don't think.

[A]

Why did you. Why would you do that?

[B]

It's bad, though.

[A]

Yeah, but.

[B]

But I may be again, but.

[A]

But that it would even hurt his feelings. I'm putting together a party.

[B]

And genuinely. Mandy, when he said, oh, wait, how do you say, what made you ask him and not me? Like, what made you do that? I was like, yo, I honestly just. I didn't think it was that serious. Now, looking back, it was for something for our bedroom. I understand having a nigga in our shit. Like, I totally get it. Doesn't matter if there's friendship. We family.

[A]

You keep adding to it, but you ain't say it was in your bedroom. Hoe.

[B]

She did. She did. Yes, I did. Yeah, it was hanging up something in the bedroom. But he was like, oh. I was like, oh, blah, blah, blah.

[A]

You probably just ain't want no other nigga in the bedroom. That's what it's.

[B]

Nah, I think it's a lot of that.

[A]

It's like, why the fuck another nigga in the bedroom?

[B]

Okay, here's one that I like.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The defensiveness to get good at fighting your responses to things can't be blame shifting, for example. Well, I wouldn't have done that if you weren't late all the time. Well, I wouldn't have fucked that bitch if you was doing your job. Okay, well, I wouldn't have cursed you out if you didn't piss me off. Like, I feel like I've received that so much, bro. Literally, like, in the worst ways. Like, I feel like we all agreed that one. Okay. Do not bring previous fights and arguments into current ones. Solves nothing, makes the fight twice as bad. Yeah, you forgot to pick up the groceries on the way home. But what of his being rude to Your mom have to.

[A]

You know what's crazy? And water is wet. N ain't gonna listen to this shit. This is what they do. This is what they do.

[B]

Okay, she hates niggas again. We're back.

[A]

I don't hate no women do this too. When I say they.

[B]

Oh, I do it.

[A]

It's niggas arguing.

[B]

I do it.

[A]

And not niggas Is men. We as humans do this because the problem is things ain't unresolved, bruh. You ain't resolved the last problem, and you still been sitting on it. So now you resentful of it. So when you get into an argument about something completely different, you ain't address what the fuck you was mad at three weeks ago, right? And so now it's a compiled thing, but people do that. Conflict resolution is not something we were taught in school.

[B]

But that's the thing, though. Or you should be giving our arguments some guidelines, though. Everything else we do has a boundary. But the arguments, our relationship has all of our shit to me, like, almost a reminder. Like, my therapist said some shit like that. He kind of checked me with, and I never had heard of it in that way. I said I was venting about something. I was like, he always. Blah, blah, blah. And my therapist was like, no, he doesn't always do that. Like, stop using these forever terms. No, he doesn't always do that. He doesn't. He doesn't always do it. You love this person. He's great. You want to marry him. No, he doesn't. He's like. And the other thing you keep saying, he's making you feel like this, and he's like, you feel like that on your own. Nobody can make you do anything.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You have to start isolating that healing.

[A]

According to you, a powerful man can make you suck his dick.

[B]

Well, y'.

[A]

All. Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't brought it back to the top, okay?

[B]

For me, my life. That's how to feel it. Okay? My last little tip is. Never making the person feel inferior, never holding them in contempt. I feel like in arguments a lot, especially with, I would say my friends, the women actually are doing this the most. I'll get.

[A]

Ooh, Ooh. That. You talking about women doing something bad.

[B]

A lot of my rich homemades, what do they do? Kind of be pulling the card on n in a way that I'm just like, oh, not.

[A]

They be emasculating the men.

[B]

You knew.

[A]

Poor men. But you don't say men could be. Ooh, thank you.

[B]

For watching Decision Decisions. Go on over to patreon.com Horrible decisions. I'm done with her. We're fine.

[A]

Why?

[B]

We're talking about an argument. Bitch versus you.

[A]

But this is what I'm saying. But men can't be victims.

[B]

We're at our time. Thank you so much.

[A]

You said women is the victims.

[B]

Would hate to go over. We're going over.

[A]

Y'. All, I'm sorry if I'm too mature. I'm gonna work on being toxic. Please. For entertainment purposes.

[B]

You don't have to work.

[A]

Kay, no, but look. And then, look, I said for entertainment purposes. But you know what be pissing me off? These comments thinking that we be lying. Bitch, they thought I was lying about the little glory hole experience. I saw all these people put cap in there. Nigga, I don't got a cap about going to no motherfucking glory hole. Put out.

[B]

Wait, do you know who we are?

[A]

They say that we're lying.

[B]

I think we're New York sellers from all the world.

[A]

But now I'm like, damn. Should I actually, like, be just a little bit more toxic for entertainment purposes? Because I feel like I'm so mature. No, no, no.

[B]

We say that enough. Thank you.

[A]

I'm really mature. And if you guys want to see why I'm so mature, make sure you get our book, no Holds Barred, A dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. Because, bitch, you could see where the motherfuck I grew up and shit. Also, join our Patreon because Horrible Decisions is still here. So if you want to hear us talk about sex and kink and raunch, head on over to patreon. That's patreon.com backslash horrible. This is yours. Another episode of Decision Decisions.

[B]

Peace.

[A]

Yes, it's me again.

[B]

We prepped.

[A]

It's the time for empowerment. And I got a message for you. You gotta think about sexual health no matter what. When we better with who. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To all you lovers out there, Ain't no judgment. This is your cue. Guess who. Guess who's back. It's time to talk about pre special prophylaxis, a part of HIV prevention.

[B]

Talk to a healthcare provider provider and

[A]

visit carefortheculture.com to learn more. It's Mandy V. From the Decisions Decisions podcast, and my friends in the US Virgin Islands want you to experience the beautiful islands of St. Thomas, St. Croix and St. John. USVI is, hands down, one of my favorite spots. And the best part, if you're traveling from the US you don't even need a passport. I'M all about the food, the people, the culture and those beaches. They are absolutely beautiful. Head to visitusvi.com to start planning your next vacation. That's visitusvi.com USVI naturally in rhythm Tired

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