C (2:37)

Beavers can be noisy, nerve wracking. But what would you do if one of yours was constantly naked and naughty, exposing himself through an uncovered bedroom window? That's exactly what one mother and son in Sherman Oaks say is happening. They feel hopeless and helpless, describing an obscene, unwanted, endless skin show. On the day of this interview, Michelle McClintock recorded her nude neighbor who lives in another apartment building across a breezeway just feet from her home. He has touched himself.

A (3:12)

Oh, yes, he's definitely touched himself. I've seen him touch himself several times.

B (3:16)

You know, and he lays in the bed and you can kind of see what he's doing.

A (3:20)

Sometimes I'll be coming back from school.

C (3:22)

And seeing him naked or I'm cooking.

A (3:24)

Or I'm eating in the living room or watching TV down the night.

C (3:27)

I look and I just see him naked.

A (3:28)

It's just disgusting. I hate it. Okay, now can I be honest?

B (3:33)

I. I want your take on this. If I look live here, oh, it's my house. Get some blinds, niggas.

A (3:42)

Literally.

B (3:43)

And I'm talking about you, literally. Why are you looking out? Like, if it's disturbing you that much, close the blinds. Like, I ain't gonna hold you. Quarter zip was just over here and bitch, I'm loud. So we was in the room and bitch, I be putting on the thing. But I know I get loud. So literally, I had to call my neighbor because I know he hears me. And I was like, sorry, if you want to just raise your tv, we gonna be gone for like another hour. But I'm sorry, I called him, he was like, it's okay, I hear you all the time. I said, and I know, but we're gonna be extra loud tonight, so just wanna let you know. And like, I apologize. And then one day we went to the belt line.

A (4:22)

Where are you sitting? In your bedroom. You can hear me in my bedroom?

B (4:24)

You can hear me the next door. But here's another thing, bitch, I live above, like a commercial property, so it's a business. And girl, the receptionist called me because we came from the belt line and it was like 2 o' clock in the afternoon and we was fucking in the living room and literally. Hold on, I'm gonna literally read you the text message that, I know, bro. And I was like, I felt so crazy.

A (4:51)

So she said, I mean, I've heard you too, bruh.

B (4:56)

Hold on, where did I hear. She said, bro, this is 2:26pm she said, I don't even know how to approach this, but you do know I hear everything beneath you, right? And I said, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. So for the rest of the time, we came upstairs and was fucking, but, you know, I didn't.

A (5:21)

Is the window open?

B (5:22)

I don't get it. I mean, I'm in a loft. They didn't think, I don't know, bitch. I have wood floors. I guess it's not all the way soundproof. Niggas could hear me. I don't know. And so I just say, sorry, bitch, I'm finna fuck.

A (5:37)

Okay, so here's. That's what I'm saying.

B (5:40)

All you could do is say sorry. Like, what can you say?

A (5:42)

I'm your neighbor. My neighbor's basically like. She's calling the police. She's doing all this shit. And she's like, I could see him in his bed, but if my bedroom went. I don't know if I necessarily believe he's getting off on it more than I think this nigga just be naked.

B (5:57)

I mean, I've been naked. Like, in New York, it didn't bother me because I was on the 16th floor, but. And even here, I'm naked, but I'm high enough to where nobody could, like, look in my window. But there are buildings across from me. You. They see me. Like, what you want me to do? That's how I feel. My only. My only concern sometimes, though, is what they're doing. If you are looking into someone else's private home and you start filming what you see in their private home, that's a problem. So if you see, they were showing recordings of that man naked in his home.

A (6:34)

Now at the same time, she's trying to have proof of what's going on, right?

B (6:37)

Doesn't matter to be like, the same way. The girl got removed from Uber Eats because she did an Uber Eats delivery and she opened the door or something and he was naked and she, like, tried to. I remember, bro, if someone is naked and they fucking private home, what the fuck are you doing recording into their goddamn windows? Close your blind. What?

A (7:00)

The only thing with the Uber Eats is I was thinking maybe he was trying to, like, show his dick off to the driver. And I thought that was fucked up, but he wasn't.

B (7:09)

She opened the door like that's right.

A (7:11)

He was sleeping.

B (7:12)

Why did you open that man door?

A (7:14)

Okay, see, now, I was reading the com, the comments, and somebody said, it sounds ridiculous, but I am comfortable in my home, and my blinds are not always shut.

B (7:25)

Yep.

A (7:25)

And a lot of people don't believe he's attention seeking. So some of the people are saying that it's wrong if he's touching himself.

B (7:35)

Guess where I'm gonna touch myself in my bed.

A (7:38)

Not bad. But the only other thing that I'm like, okay, that's kind of fucked up. Now, Mandy, here goes the situation.

B (7:46)

I'm listening.

A (7:49)

The police knock on your door and say, hey, you've been naked. There's children across the street. Do you mind just putting the blinds.

B (7:56)

Down when you are naked? It's. Fuck them kids for life, bitch. How do you think they was made? Their parents should close the blinds if they don't want to see, Bro, I'm in my home, and if I want my blinds open, that's what I'm gonna do in my motherfucking. In the rent that I pay.

A (8:13)

To be honest with you, I'm kind of aligned with. I don't necessarily know if.

B (8:19)

Or you need to move.

A (8:21)

The only thing I would not do with the blinds open if kids were looking is fuck. And I say that because being naked, I'm not just standing in the window naked. I'm gonna walk by naked. Like, if they see me, they see me. But if I'm, like, full on giving them niggas a show. All right, maybe not. Eh.

B (8:41)

I don't know. All I know is you should be able to do whatever you want in the privacy of your home as long as it's not a crime. And being naked in your own home is not a crime.

A (8:53)

Is it a.

B (8:54)

It's not a public space. And anybody looking into your home and has the nerve to video you, them niggas should be arrested for videoing you in your public space. Especially if you're naked. Especially in this case, bro, even if you blurred me out. This shit is now on the news. But, yeah, I'm suing the news station. I'm suing you. I'm suing the city. Because, bitch. What?

A (9:20)

And there you have it.

B (9:21)

Are they wrong? I would love to know yalls thoughts or if you've ever been in a position, because like I said, I. I've been in hotel rooms where there might be a little noise complaint. Like, bitch, it's a bed. Guess where I'm going to fuck on the bed in a room. Like, y' all Better not be trying to shut people up while they trying to make love. The fuck?

A (9:40)

No, I'm. I'm agreed with it. I'm. I'm. Look at us. Look at us. Who would have thought it?

B (9:47)

No, this is the exact topic they would have thought we agreed on, actually.

A (9:50)

Oh. Oh, actually.

B (9:52)

Anyways, guys, you just got a little taste of the horrible Decisions Patreon. But why stop there? Tap in for the full, uncut, and way nastier episodes over on patreon. Go to patreon.com horribledecisions and unlock all the messy tea, wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. And now here's yous've Got Decision.

A (10:17)

If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?

B (10:26)

You've got decisions. You've got decisions, baby. And I do too.

A (10:34)

Welcome back, everybody. It's another day, another issue, another butthole that needs help on how to get in there.

B (10:41)

Yeah, what else is out? You know? You know, I'm not gonna lie.

A (10:46)

Booty holes.

B (10:47)

Listen, we've had a lot of, like, really thoughtful, real issue. You got decisions letters coming through that. When I saw this subject line, I said, oh, this is gonna be great. This is how 2026 should start. And hopefully this makes you laugh with all of the bullshit happening in the world, because this woman has a real problem that we are here to solve. If you want you to solve ho YouTube bitch. We not gonna put this all on me.

A (11:20)

Okay.

B (11:20)

By the way, I feel like she thought that you could help because in the email, she did also send a picture of herself. She wanted to let us see what a butt muncher looked like. So her photo is in the thread of this. Anyways, if you want to send us a letter to get our advice, even though we are not experts at any of these topics, you can send it to decisionspodmail.com and don't forget, if you're a patron, you get priority reads here on you Got Decisions. And you can do that by becoming a patron@patreon.com backslash Horrible decision.

A (11:58)

And it's not the place where you only get priority reads. If you miss horrible decisions so, so, so much, you'll have it every single week on Patreon.

B (12:05)

That's right.

A (12:07)

I almost said for just 500 penny.

B (12:11)

500 pennies? Is that what. Yep. 500 pennies or 16. You know what's crazy?

A (12:17)

25 quarters.

B (12:18)

Can you not age us? I don't know if you know pennies are no longer being made, bro.

A (12:24)

They're not pennies.

B (12:25)

See, I know you didn't know. Pennies are done. Rip to the penny if you find a penny. Now that's all that's being created. They are no longer.

A (12:35)

Oh, wow. Here's why I feel like I'm doing For Fact Sake podcast right now. While the US Mint stopped making pennies late 2025, it's only because it made it cost three.

B (12:45)

It cost them like. Yeah. It cost them more money to make.

A (12:49)

It out because technically, since they're still a legal tender tender, they could be used. Those shortages are appearing. Yep. Because existing ones get stashed. People are starting to keep them.

B (13:01)

Yep. So you just age the hell out of us telling these gen zers to get they pennies for the patreon. Anywho, let's get into it, y'.

A (13:13)

All.

B (13:13)

If you saw the title, you know what we're talking about this week. I wanna booty eat my man's gonna booty eat my man's. I wanna booty eat my man's. That's literally how she wrote this, bro. No lie.

A (13:26)

Oh, girl.

B (13:26)

But what's the I wanna booty eat my man's butt. How. Hey, Mandy and Wheezy. You can call me natural, needy, curvy. I am a Latina, 30 year old, monogamous female. I am a newer listener who absolutely loves the podcast. Anytime I can talk about the podcast, I do and recommend it. I just started watching the episodes on YouTube and it's a whole different fulfillment for me, which has helped me open my mind to other ideas. So let's get to it. I have been with my man Dee going on two years. During this time, he is absolutely wonderful in bed, is open to using toys, getting kinky to a comfortable level for both of us, and is overall well equipped. Eggplant emoji.

A (14:18)

Oh, okay.

B (14:19)

I was like, bitch, not me. Didn't. I didn't know the vegetable name girl.

A (14:22)

Like bitch. I was really sick.

B (14:24)

Emoji is that again. OK, back it up to about 2021, 2022 or so. I was fucking around with. We'll call him Mr. Counselor. And no, he wasn't my counselor. But during this time, I ate Mr. Counselor's ash booty and it was absolutely phenomenal. The way the satisfaction was shown by him had me enjoying it even more. So I want to do that again with my current man and nah, I don't miss Mr. Counselor. I miss the freedom next level of sex and intimacy that we had. I can say Dee And I do have good communication now after just getting over a hump of absolutely not doing so well. However, when exes are brought up, he feels a type of way, literally just want my man to experience something that I realized that I enjoy. Any ideas on how to go about this and opening the communication to another level of sex slash intimacy?

A (15:33)

Hell, when exes are brought up, there's an issue that's interesting nobody wants. I mean, I'm gonna be real. I don't. I enjoy talking about past relationships, but I would not enjoy it if it was like, well, my ex used to be able to do a split on my dick.

B (15:47)

Facts, cuz. You and I both not splitting on dick, bro.

A (15:53)

Like, so I. I will say I absolutely. And normally I'm never on the side of the N when y' all write in. But you can't be bringing up past experiences with someone thinking that it'll make somebody else be like, oh, sure, I've got to like, you almost want to immediately reject it, actually.

B (16:08)

Agreed. I think that there's a way of bringing up the things that you like in the bedroom without oversharing the previous partners you did it with.

A (16:18)

Because, like, it's too late.

B (16:20)

Like, here's the thing you saying or you. You showing him how much you enjoy sucking dick. Hopefully you're doing that and he's not thinking of every dick you sucked before that.

A (16:31)

Right.

B (16:32)

So when it comes to kinks and introducing new things into the bedroom, I actually think, wheezy, you're kind of right. One of the, kind of worst things you could do in terms of introducing it is bringing up a past partner you did it with. Like, so the ways that we. We started the pod and said that here's good ways to bring up things in conversation to communicate it before just bringing it on somebody is like, group chat stuff. Bring it up. Like one of your girls brought it up in a group chat and you're bringing it up to him like it's. A man is always kind of open to hearing you bring up things that you and your girls are talking about. Right. It also makes him feel more included. So say that, man, my homegirl just talked about how she ate this nigga ass and how it turned him out. Have you ever had that done to you? You have? Did you enjoy it? Don't ask who did it, but see first if he's even had it done to him before. If so.

A (17:30)

I had some difficult conversations. Just what I was gonna say saying, you gotta be careful how you say the group chat thing.

B (17:38)

Why?

A (17:39)

Because you can't be like, well, so and so, do it. You just gotta be like, what do you think?

B (17:43)

No, it's not even so and so do it. With the group chat. What I'm saying is just say, man, Latesha brought up, like, her enjoying eating ass. And it's so crazy because it made me realize we never did that. Babe, is that something you've done before? Like, keep it minimal? It's just an introduction to bring this topic to her. It ain't even gotta be real. Lateasha might have never ate ass ever. Just throw it on your home girl. But make that the intro to the conversation. Or what else I like to do is send porn. Y' all know that was my go to. And if you go on X, type in chudai or wata, and baby, you gonna find mad goddamn porn. So d h u D e H I for porn today, therefore W a.

A (18:31)

T a a as an asshole.

B (18:34)

Yeah, there's two A's at the end. It's chuda or wata. But look it up on X. Or if you're in a state that doesn't require you to put in your goddamn ID, like Georgia does, make sure you go on pornhub. You go to one of the free sites and you find a video where a girl is getting in that, and you send the video to him and see what his response is.

A (18:57)

Additionally, I think the only other advice I would have is I was having a conversation with a homegirl that was basically telling me because her and her man are long distance. And she was like, I feel like we never have tough conversations when I am there and when he's here because we want to keep the high moment. And something I realized in this current relationship, opposed to others, some of the best chats happen in the high moment. Recently we went out to the club and was having a great time or whatever, dance party, and we sat down and he was like, I'm just so glad, like, tonight's going well. Like, that was a really tough day yesterday. So, bitch, for probably about 25, 30 minutes, we really in this corner. Like, yeah, baby. Like, I hate when we get like that. Like, let's make sure to promise to xyz. I'm not saying talk to your nigga when you bottle popping. What I am saying, though, is there is something to be said about having conversations when no one's angry or. Yeah, not on the defense. The second someone says, I need to talk to you about something, I'm gonna be like. Like, my guard is up. Like, my body language changes. I'm already just like ready to be like, no, no. You know, So I think it would be great if y' all are already in a sexy vibe to start playing around with that too. If you don't want to bring up someone else. This is just another suggestion in the middle of sexy energy. Just being playful. Like, I think that sometimes we make more of a mole out of a mountain. You know? I mean, a mountain out of a mole when it yeah, isn't that deep because yes, you did kind of up by bringing up old niggas and all the shit they was doing. But that doesn't mean you can't bounce back.

B (20:45)

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A (21:21)

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B (22:38)

Now taking it to being more physical, like a way to physically lean into this conversation, I have two, two advice tips to give just to see his comfortability with you playing around his Buddha hole, right? So one of the things that I really like doing just to gauge comfortability is when I'm giving head and I'm massaging the balls, I make sure my hands are on the back end of the balls to where I could just graze the asshole by accident or not. You know what I mean? But you down there by the balls, so as you're rubbing the balls, you kind of do a larger circular motion so that you kind of graze. You kind of graze the boot hole. Now if he jump and be like, bitch, what you doing? Be like, babe, I'm sorry, I was just rubbing your balls. Don't even bring up that you was like trying to gauge. But this is your gauge. If he's like comfortable and rocking with it, then maybe you can feel a little bit more comfortable having a conversation about it later. Or you could put your mouth down there.

A (23:48)

Okay, wait, I got a question.

B (23:50)

What?

A (23:50)

Have you ever done the graze tip and it didn't work out?

B (23:56)

I mean, if y' all listen to the pod for all almost 10 years, I deal with freak ass niggas. So normally we talking about this type of nasty shit before we even have sex for the first time. And then I don't like n that aren't open to it. Um, there is one guy recently.

A (24:19)

You.

B (24:19)

Know him, I told you, he was like, ooh, I couldn't believe I was fucking him. He was so green that he ain't really like nothing freaky.

A (24:31)

I be trying not to give nothing.

B (24:33)

Up, but I be, no, I'm seeing you. But anyways, I was a fan of.

A (24:36)

His that I was like this shit from.

B (24:38)

I was a fan of his growing up. And I almost couldn't believe we got to fuck. And I only fucked him again cause of who he was, but it wasn't good.

A (24:46)

Cause you said recently, that's why.

B (24:48)

No, when I say recently, like within the last five years. Cause bitch, I was in a three year relationship. We not gonna go through my bodies right now.

A (24:57)

That's not what got that dick. You said what when you got that dick again.

B (25:05)

After. After a friend's birthday party. I think I talked about that too. Anywho, he wasn't that freaky, so. So he is a nigga that was just like, oh, like he jumped and he wasn't with none of that shit. And I was like, damn, nigga, I know you been fucking a lot. How the fuck you don't want your boo to hoe play with. But he didn't. But he's the only nigga that I can imagine, like, think of that. We didn't have a conversation before about how we were in bed and it just happened. And clearly he wasn't that fun in bed. Um, so that would be my one tip. The next tip I would give you leans more into intimacy, but also allows you to kind of graze the ass to just see his comfortability. Take a shower with him and start washing him down. And if he allows you to take that washcloth up and down that ass crack, girl, you good to go. And they begin.

A (26:02)

Like, here's the thing with the shower, right? The shower, girl, the shower be giving it up. Because my first time touching almost 90% of the asses I've been in is.

B (26:11)

In the shower, man.

A (26:12)

It's in the shower because I'm just more comfortable now because I know I done aired your booty out and you done cleaned it.

B (26:18)

So that's the thing too. I don't like shower sex. But starting or ending a sex session in the shower, top tier. Especially if you ain't got a slippery ass tub where you. Where you got to worry about logistics. If you got to stand up, admissions.

A (26:35)

Are going to be down a little bit. I remember my man said something to me once. We were in the shower. I don't know if I was washing his hair or whatever the fuck was going on. He said, I feel like this is more intimate than sleeping next to no facts.

B (26:46)

A shower could be real intimate. Like. Like I've been in the shower and it gets so intimate. Like, that is where golden showers have began for me. Like, like a nigga done. I thought it was the water and no, it was him pissing on me. And now here we go. We're having a golden shower. But we can wipe it right off, you know what I mean? Like, the shower is a place where you can kind of get a little kinkier than you might think a shower can get.

A (27:12)

Now again, talk about some crazy shit. Not some golden shower shit, some real dirty shit.

B (27:17)

No, we're not talking about shit in the shower. I ain't going to hold you. I'm not sitting in the shower. Go ahead and bring up blood, wheezy. Go ahead and bring up blood.

A (27:23)

I was going to bring up shit.

B (27:24)

You have a shit in the shower story?

A (27:26)

No, I don't, but no, go ahead and share it.

B (27:29)

Don't act like it's your friend now.

A (27:30)

Bitches, you know, just. We Listen to me. Just me, okay? I'm glad we're at the end. This is not the clip, but basically I was texting this nigga. This is years ago. And he was like a. Yo, my stomach killing me. I know your stomach fucked up. I forgot what we ate. I forgot. I really do forget what it was. But I was like, bro, I was like, I don't want to tell you because I feel like it's dirty. I was like, but I have to share this. You know when you take a shit that's so crazy you got to tell somebody. He's like, tell me. And I was like, it was so wide. Like my booty hole wasn't big enough to get the shit out. And he was like, next time I want to help you.

B (28:10)

Wait, wait, wait, wait. How would a man help you push the shit out your ass, girl.

A (28:15)

He was like, I'll get up that. I'll get the shit out for you. And I was like, no, I'm good.

B (28:22)

So we left.

A (28:23)

He knows. He knows I'm not into it. Whatever. Now, I was only this nigga here and there. So I didn't really have much to tell. But I came to see him. We were in a hotel, we take a shower together. In the shower, he goes, let me get in there. And I was like, what you mean? He's like, all that detox, I'm going to get it off you. And I was like, oh, my God.

B (28:45)

He likes.

A (28:47)

He literally was like, massaging my stomach and talking about how he wanted to get up in my ass. And I was like, yo, I was so turned off, but I was also, like, a little turned on because he was into.

B (28:57)

Did you let him get in your booty? Because I need the whole world to know that you did not just let the tip in that you'd have had full blown anal sex with your cat.

A (29:04)

No, it wasn't anal sex. He wanted to, like, grab, Wait.

B (29:08)

He wanted to, like, wait. But yes, this was.

A (29:12)

And for those listening, this actually wasn't about him fucking shit out of me.

B (29:17)

He wanted to go in your Buddha hole and grab the turd out, girl.

A (29:20)

Is that nasty, bruh?

B (29:22)

I'm judging. I'm judging him and the fact that you. Did you see that nigga after he said that's what he was into. You nasty. I'm judging. You were nasty. You were nasty. He was fine. You were nasty.

A (29:35)

He was just a finger in my butt with a fantasy.

B (29:38)

See what good looks will make you do.

A (29:39)

Now let me tell you what. I would like to compare it to. You know how you like to use dildos and act like it's another dick?

B (29:44)

Yes.

A (29:45)

Okay. He wanted to use fingers and just talk about shit while he was in my butt.

B (29:50)

And then you know what he probably wanted to do after that? He wanted to lick his fingers and then kiss you right after he done licked the remnants of feces off his goddamn finger.

A (30:04)

I was. I did a episode. It's not out, but on season four of Sex Tells. I met up with this girl named. I almost said Tierra Lexi. I just feel like that Lexp's name. I almost met up with this girl, I think Quince Tierra something. But she's like a fart queen in Atlanta. And the way that she described. I started thinking about that nigga. I was like, oh my God. Because it was a minute ago.

B (30:25)

It was this.

A (30:26)

This nigga was before the pandemic. But anyway, I sell this to say she was like talking about the food that she had to eat to get her body ready to fart into shit. And I was like, yo, that's why that nigga took us to that restaurant that day. He wanted. When he. Especially how he led into it. It's just the tip you giving this bitch right now, Mandy. He said that food we ate. My stomach fucked up. Is your stomach fucked up? He wanted my shit stories.

B (30:51)

That's real nasty. Well, she just wants to eat her man's ass. So sorry to the listener who wrote in miss Natural Curvy Beauty. I know you called, wanted or wrote in wanting advice. Hopefully we helped you before we started sharing how we like to play in man butt and how men like to play in our butt. But hopefully this helped you. Hopefully you write back in and let us know how you get to booty eat your man. Because I'm here for it, hon. Okay? And if you need our help again, make sure you email us@decisionspodmail.com this has been another you got decisions.

A (31:32)

We love y'. All.

B (31:42)

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A (32:18)

This is an iHeart podcast.

B (32:21)

Guaranteed Human.