Decisions, Decisions: Episode Summary – "You've Got Decisions: Am I a Cheater?"

Release Date: March 26, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B and WeezyWTF
Co-Host: Tempest X

Introduction

In the episode titled "You've Got Decisions: Am I a Cheater?", hosts Mandii B and WeezyWTF tackle a listener's dilemma about whether their actions qualify as cheating. The discussion delves into the nuances of modern relationships, especially those that begin without formal commitment, and explores the complexities of defining infidelity within such contexts.

Listener's Dilemma: Am I a Cheater?

Listener’s Background:

A 19-year-old college student shares her experience of being in a seven-month "talking stage" or situationship before officially becoming her boyfriend's girlfriend four months ago. During the talking stage, she entertained other men but never engaged in physical relations outside of this primary connection. She inquires whether her actions constitute cheating, given that her boyfriend now accuses her of infidelity based on her interactions before their official relationship began.

Notable Quote:

"I have Tempest X, who is the writer of 'No Holds Barred,' the book with Weezy and I that you need to go ahead and get today if you have it yet, help us make New York Times bestseller." (00:44)

Hosts' Perspectives on Cheating and Projection

Mandii B’s Analysis:

Mandii explains that the concept of cheating can sometimes be subjective, especially in undefined relationship stages. However, she emphasizes that in her own experience, projecting one's insecurities onto a partner is a red flag. She shares a personal story where her ex-partner accused her of infidelity without basis, only to reveal his own unfaithful behavior.

Notable Quotes:

• "When you travel, he was actually fucking another bitch. I thought he went to Panama for suits. He was in Panama with another bitch, Literally." (05:31)
• "He's being very controlling, which is also a red flag." (06:53)
• "If you know that you're not doing something wrong and you are being accused of doing something wrong, nine times out of ten, it's a projection." (18:28)

WeezyWTF’s Input:

WeezyWTF concurs with Mandii, highlighting the importance of communication in situationships. She underscores that without clear boundaries and agreements, misunderstandings about fidelity are likely to arise. Weezy also reflects on her own experiences with projection and infidelity during past relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• "I'm going to say this every single time. Anytime you go through a phone, you're going. You won't find something." (08:32)
• "I’m the victim. I realized I was the victim the whole time in this story." (09:47)

Defining Cheating in Undefined Relationships

Mandii B’s Take:

Mandii points out that the listener’s actions—entertaining other men during a non-exclusive talking stage—do not traditionally align with cheating, especially since the relationship wasn't officially defined. She argues that accusations made during the formal relationship, based on pre-existing interactions, are often unfounded and indicative of the partner's insecurities or misconduct.

Notable Quotes:

• "She's not cheating. Never made it official. Everything happened before, baby doesn't count." (10:12)
• "If you're having casual, unprotected sex, that is where... you absolutely need to be transparent about testing and what other partners you're having." (20:12)

WeezyWTF’s Advice:

Weezy emphasizes the necessity of setting clear boundaries and maintaining open communication, especially in non-traditional relationships. She advises listeners to protect themselves by being transparent about their interactions with others and to ensure mutual understanding of relationship expectations.

Notable Quotes:

• "If you are gonna do a situationship, protect yourself, communicate. And like, that's really all I will say." (19:13)
• "If a man is gonna go through your phone, he wants to find something. Or he got something he's hiding." (09:36)

Personal Experiences and Lessons Learned

Mandii B’s Personal Story:

Mandii shares a poignant example from her past relationship where her ex-boyfriend accused her of cheating despite her fidelity. She reveals how his distrust led her to question her actions, ultimately discovering his own infidelities. This experience taught her the importance of recognizing red flags and understanding when a partner's insecurities are a reflection of their own behavior rather than any wrongdoing on her part.

Notable Quotes:

• "He was projecting what he knew his actions to actually be onto you." (05:22)
• "He booked his flight, came to Atlanta and we're together again." (12:17)

WeezyWTF’s Reflection:

Weezy reflects on her own experiences with projection and realizes she may have been a victim of her partner’s insecurities. She underscores the significance of identifying when accusations stem from a partner's behavior rather than factual infidelity.

Notable Quotes:

• "I lowkey probably got cheated during COVID." (07:44)
• "You're going to find something that makes you angry no matter what." (08:42)

Establishing Healthy Relationship Dynamics

Building Trust and Communication:

The hosts discuss the importance of establishing trust and clear communication from the outset of any relationship, especially non-traditional ones. They advocate for defining relationship boundaries early on to prevent misunderstandings and ensure both partners are on the same page regarding fidelity and exclusivity.

Notable Quotes:

• "We start talking about what our boundaries look like, what we can and cannot do. I love that. How we keep respect for each other while we know that we are together and claiming each other to the world." (12:35)
• "It's not okay. We've been together for so long. No, because if they don't ask, it ain't real." (12:28)

Mandii’s Current Relationship Approach:

Mandii elaborates on her approach to her current relationship, highlighting the deliberate effort to build a strong emotional foundation before introducing physical intimacy. She contrasts this with her past experiences, where physical attraction often led the relationship dynamics, sometimes clouding deeper emotional connections.

Notable Quotes:

• "We fell into really caring for each other before sex was even introduced, which was night and day." (15:07)
• "We've been together for almost 15 years." (17:29)

Conclusion and Takeaways

Mandii B and WeezyWTF conclude the episode by reiterating the importance of clear communication, setting boundaries, and building trust in all types of relationships. They emphasize that understanding and defining what constitutes cheating is crucial, especially in non-traditional or undefined relationship stages. The hosts encourage listeners to reflect on their own relationship dynamics and recognize red flags that may indicate deeper issues.

Final Advice:

• Communicate Clearly: Ensure both partners understand and agree on the relationship's boundaries and expectations.
• Recognize Red Flags: Be vigilant about signs of projection, control, or lack of trust from a partner.
• Build Emotional Foundations: Prioritize emotional connection and trust before diving into physical aspects of the relationship.

Notable Quote:

"If you know that you're not doing something wrong and you are being accused of doing something wrong, nine times out of ten, it's a projection. And your partner is probably living foul." (18:28)

Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with the hosts encouraging listeners to submit their own questions and dilemmas for future discussions. They also promote their collaborative projects, including Tempest X’s book "No Holes Barred," aiming to foster open and honest conversations about relationships, sex, and personal growth.

Notable Quote:

"If you want us to give you advice on your questions, on your dilemmas, if you need us to help you make a decision, make sure you email us@decisionspodmail.com we will read yours here and give you all the best advice." (21:52)

This episode of "Decisions, Decisions" provides valuable insights into navigating the gray areas of modern relationships, emphasizing the need for clarity, communication, and self-awareness to foster healthy and authentic connections.