You've Got Decisions: Am I a Cheater?

Summary

Decisions, Decisions: Episode Summary – "You've Got Decisions: Am I a Cheater?"

Release Date: March 26, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B and WeezyWTF
Co-Host: Tempest X

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Introduction

In the episode titled "You've Got Decisions: Am I a Cheater?", hosts Mandii B and WeezyWTF tackle a listener's dilemma about whether their actions qualify as cheating. The discussion delves into the nuances of modern relationships, especially those that begin without formal commitment, and explores the complexities of defining infidelity within such contexts.

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Listener's Dilemma: Am I a Cheater?

Listener’s Background:

A 19-year-old college student shares her experience of being in a seven-month "talking stage" or situationship before officially becoming her boyfriend's girlfriend four months ago. During the talking stage, she entertained other men but never engaged in physical relations outside of this primary connection. She inquires whether her actions constitute cheating, given that her boyfriend now accuses her of infidelity based on her interactions before their official relationship began.

Notable Quote:

"I have Tempest X, who is the writer of 'No Holds Barred,' the book with Weezy and I that you need to go ahead and get today if you have it yet, help us make New York Times bestseller." (00:44)

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Hosts' Perspectives on Cheating and Projection

Mandii B’s Analysis:

Mandii explains that the concept of cheating can sometimes be subjective, especially in undefined relationship stages. However, she emphasizes that in her own experience, projecting one's insecurities onto a partner is a red flag. She shares a personal story where her ex-partner accused her of infidelity without basis, only to reveal his own unfaithful behavior.

Notable Quotes:

• "When you travel, he was actually fucking another bitch. I thought he went to Panama for suits. He was in Panama with another bitch, Literally." (05:31)
• "He's being very controlling, which is also a red flag." (06:53)
• "If you know that you're not doing something wrong and you are being accused of doing something wrong, nine times out of ten, it's a projection." (18:28)

WeezyWTF’s Input:

WeezyWTF concurs with Mandii, highlighting the importance of communication in situationships. She underscores that without clear boundaries and agreements, misunderstandings about fidelity are likely to arise. Weezy also reflects on her own experiences with projection and infidelity during past relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• "I'm going to say this every single time. Anytime you go through a phone, you're going. You won't find something." (08:32)
• "I’m the victim. I realized I was the victim the whole time in this story." (09:47)

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Defining Cheating in Undefined Relationships

Mandii B’s Take:

Mandii points out that the listener’s actions—entertaining other men during a non-exclusive talking stage—do not traditionally align with cheating, especially since the relationship wasn't officially defined. She argues that accusations made during the formal relationship, based on pre-existing interactions, are often unfounded and indicative of the partner's insecurities or misconduct.

Notable Quotes:

• "She's not cheating. Never made it official. Everything happened before, baby doesn't count." (10:12)
• "If you're having casual, unprotected sex, that is where... you absolutely need to be transparent about testing and what other partners you're having." (20:12)

WeezyWTF’s Advice:

Weezy emphasizes the necessity of setting clear boundaries and maintaining open communication, especially in non-traditional relationships. She advises listeners to protect themselves by being transparent about their interactions with others and to ensure mutual understanding of relationship expectations.

Notable Quotes:

• "If you are gonna do a situationship, protect yourself, communicate. And like, that's really all I will say." (19:13)
• "If a man is gonna go through your phone, he wants to find something. Or he got something he's hiding." (09:36)

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Personal Experiences and Lessons Learned

Mandii B’s Personal Story:

Mandii shares a poignant example from her past relationship where her ex-boyfriend accused her of cheating despite her fidelity. She reveals how his distrust led her to question her actions, ultimately discovering his own infidelities. This experience taught her the importance of recognizing red flags and understanding when a partner's insecurities are a reflection of their own behavior rather than any wrongdoing on her part.

Notable Quotes:

• "He was projecting what he knew his actions to actually be onto you." (05:22)
• "He booked his flight, came to Atlanta and we're together again." (12:17)

WeezyWTF’s Reflection:

Weezy reflects on her own experiences with projection and realizes she may have been a victim of her partner’s insecurities. She underscores the significance of identifying when accusations stem from a partner's behavior rather than factual infidelity.

Notable Quotes:

• "I lowkey probably got cheated during COVID." (07:44)
• "You're going to find something that makes you angry no matter what." (08:42)

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Establishing Healthy Relationship Dynamics

Building Trust and Communication:

The hosts discuss the importance of establishing trust and clear communication from the outset of any relationship, especially non-traditional ones. They advocate for defining relationship boundaries early on to prevent misunderstandings and ensure both partners are on the same page regarding fidelity and exclusivity.

Notable Quotes:

• "We start talking about what our boundaries look like, what we can and cannot do. I love that. How we keep respect for each other while we know that we are together and claiming each other to the world." (12:35)
• "It's not okay. We've been together for so long. No, because if they don't ask, it ain't real." (12:28)

Mandii’s Current Relationship Approach:

Mandii elaborates on her approach to her current relationship, highlighting the deliberate effort to build a strong emotional foundation before introducing physical intimacy. She contrasts this with her past experiences, where physical attraction often led the relationship dynamics, sometimes clouding deeper emotional connections.

Notable Quotes:

• "We fell into really caring for each other before sex was even introduced, which was night and day." (15:07)
• "We've been together for almost 15 years." (17:29)

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Conclusion and Takeaways

Mandii B and WeezyWTF conclude the episode by reiterating the importance of clear communication, setting boundaries, and building trust in all types of relationships. They emphasize that understanding and defining what constitutes cheating is crucial, especially in non-traditional or undefined relationship stages. The hosts encourage listeners to reflect on their own relationship dynamics and recognize red flags that may indicate deeper issues.

Final Advice:

• Communicate Clearly: Ensure both partners understand and agree on the relationship's boundaries and expectations.
• Recognize Red Flags: Be vigilant about signs of projection, control, or lack of trust from a partner.
• Build Emotional Foundations: Prioritize emotional connection and trust before diving into physical aspects of the relationship.

Notable Quote:

"If you know that you're not doing something wrong and you are being accused of doing something wrong, nine times out of ten, it's a projection. And your partner is probably living foul." (18:28)

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Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with the hosts encouraging listeners to submit their own questions and dilemmas for future discussions. They also promote their collaborative projects, including Tempest X’s book "No Holes Barred," aiming to foster open and honest conversations about relationships, sex, and personal growth.

Notable Quote:

"If you want us to give you advice on your questions, on your dilemmas, if you need us to help you make a decision, make sure you email [e-mail] we will read yours here and give you all the best advice." (21:52)

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This episode of "Decisions, Decisions" provides valuable insights into navigating the gray areas of modern relationships, emphasizing the need for clarity, communication, and self-awareness to foster healthy and authentic connections.

Transcript

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Peace of the planet. I go by the name of Charlamagne Tha God. And guess what? I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival.

[Mandy B]

That's right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April 26th at Pullman Yards. And it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions, Mandy B and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and B Money podcast with Tank and J. Valentine. We got the Woman Evolved podcast with Sarah, Jake Roberts. We got Good Moms, Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with her Neck in Sports podcast. And the Trap Nerds podcast with with more to be announced. And of course, it's bigger than podcast. We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses, plus the food truck court to keep you fed while you visit us. All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets [e-mail].

[Mandy B]

Podcast festival if you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what? You've got decisions. You've got decisions, baby. Again, I just love to moan. Hey.

[Weezy]

No, she gotta do too.

[Mandy B]

You gotta moan. All right. Boom. It's another your Got Decisions episode where we are giving our advice to your questions. If you want to send us in a question, make sure you send it on over to decisionspodmail.com we may read it aloud. You are always anonymous so you don't have to keep putting Keep me anonymous, y'all. I swear they think that we're doing their work job. No, they still say keep me anonymous, please. We will not say your name. We are just hoping to help people find answers in very similar situations. And this week, a listener wants to know if they are a cheater. Now, before we get there, if you gotta ask, you probably are right. That's one of those things where it's really black and white. I know there's like gray areas of things, but am I a cheater? Actually, that is a gray area. Let your partner decide. Your partner will tell you if you're a cheater. But today you're asking myself. I have Tempest X, who is the writer of no Holds Bar, the book with Weezy and I that you need to go ahead and get today if you have it yet, help us make New York Times bestseller. And then of course, Eden, are you mic'd up over there? Wolf. And Wolf, by the way, the ladies have been loving the both of you. Are y'all seeing them in the comments? They be like, Ooh, I know. Eddie was looking this way.

[Weezy]

We're gonna get matching tattoos soon.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, y'all gotta listen to that episode. If you haven't yet, go to the you've Got decisions that asks if a tattoo is a deal breaker. It's somewhere on this goddamn feed. Y'all will laugh if you haven't listened to it yet. Um. All right, so let's get into it. Hey. Ladies and gentlemen, I love this show and have been listening since I was 16. Now I'm 19, in college and in a relationship. I need some advice. This is my first official relationship, but not the first guy I've entertained. The situation I need advice on is this. My boyfriend and I have been officially together for four months, but before that, we were in a talking stage and situationship for about seven months before he actually asked me to be his girlfriend.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

During that time, I did talk to and entertain other guys here and there to keep my options open. Yes. I asked if we were exclusive, and he said no. However, I never had physical relations with anyone other than him. Oh. Oh. So entertaining is probably dating. She's young. Y'all know. I know. Look at y'all looking lost. I know seven months is a long time to wait for someone to commit, but I gave him grace because he was still healing from past relationships. Right. Y'all happy? Both of y'all laughing. I'm sorry. A month before he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, I tested the waters one last time with someone new, but quickly realized I didn't like anyone as much as I liked him. Cool. That's when I decided to put all my eggs in his basket. Okay. A little while into our relationship, he went through my messages and saw that I had talked to other people during our seven months of talking and dating. Now he says I cheated on him and keeps throwing it in my face. What? But I don't believe I did because he never officially asked me to be his girlfriend. We were in a situationship, which isn't an official relationship with clear rules.

[Weezy]

Agreed.

[Mandy B]

What do you guys think? Am I a cheater?

[Tempest X]

No.

[Mandy B]

So I have two parts that I want to take from this. Oh. First off, let's start with the question. And then there's another tidbit that I want to get into that is new for me with my relationship. But the do you guys think I'm a cheater? And his reaction. I'm going to tell you something you're not going to want to hear of him making it seem like you're cheating because he went through messages of you entertaining men while you weren't really with him.

[Tempest X]

I agree.

[Mandy B]

Is a clear indication that, bitch, he's cheating on you.

[Weezy]

Oh, I don't know about all that. I'm not gonna put that on.

[Mandy B]

Let me tell you why. In my last relationship, I actually agree. In my last relationship.

[Weezy]

Damn.

[Mandy B]

He was convinced that every time I was on a trip, every time I hopped on a plane, I hopped on a dick. Yes. When the reality was he was actually entertaining women every time I was out of town. Yep. And so he projected what he knew his actions to actually be onto you. To making it seem like. And making it, like, literally wanting to argue with me about something I was not doing. Almost to where a little piece of me was like, well, he's gonna think I'm doing it anyways. I may as well just fucking cheat because the nigga think I'm cheating and I'm not. I'm not entertaining anyone. I'm busy. And so what I ended up realizing in hindsight was literally when he traveled, he was actually fucking another bitch. I thought he went to Panama for suits. He was in Panama with another bitch, Literally. You know what I mean? Yeah. So he projected his own actions onto me a lot. And so he literally said, y'all weren't exclusive. And so for him to be making this big fuss about messages that he knows predated the relationship is guilt seeping through his fucking pores that he's doing that same thing right now. And so in his mind, this is. This is making it is validating his actions. Because now he's saying, well, you cheated on me.

[Tempest X]

Or even if not, he's being very controlling, which is also a red flag.

[Mandy B]

Like, why this is a red flag.

[Tempest X]

Why is he getting on you when you weren't together? He was the one who made the decision. Didn't he need the time?

[Mandy B]

He was healing.

[Tempest X]

He was healing.

[Mandy B]

Oh, I don't like Edin's face.

[Weezy]

As the other man in this. In this panel.

[Mandy B]

As the only man in this panel. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's facts. He over there, though. He over there.

[Weezy]

See, when I first started hearing all this, right? I was like, this is some they saying right now, right? But as you talking right now, what? I started getting a little bit mad. But then I started getting mad, realizing something. What? I just realized, no, not me. I realized I lowkey probably got cheated during COVID Oh, my God. Because I'm realizing this shorty was projecting a lot when I was out doing nothing.

[Mandy B]

Uh huh.

[Weezy]

And I'm like. And it was a. It was a complicated situation, too.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Weezy]

And I just realized I might have been getting cheated.

[Mandy B]

You might have been getting gaslit into a partner feeling guilty because they're doing the wrong thing. And so that's. That's what happens a lot. Right. Like when you're doing something you don't need, you don't want or you shouldn't be doing while you're in a relationship.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

You start blinking, you start projecting, start pointing fingers and pointing fingers. Because the only thing to validate you doing or you being in the wrong is if they're also in the wrong.

[Weezy]

And you're going through a phone and.

[Mandy B]

Then it cancels each other out. Right?

[Weezy]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Mandy B]

But you're right. Not only is it the red flag that he's making this argument right prior to you, it's a red flag that he feels the need four months into your relationship to be going through your phone.

[Tempest X]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

Why you've been together.

[Weezy]

You're going to find. I'm going to say this every single time. Anytime you go through a phone, you're going. You won't find something. It don't matter. It won't even be it. The context could be.

[Mandy B]

It ain't even got to be me texting another. It could be me in my group chat talking about a time with. You know what I mean? Yes. Like you're. You're going to find something that makes you angry no matter what. Let's not even get into.

[Tempest X]

And you're looking for that.

[Mandy B]

You. You might be mad that a nigga in my DMs. I can't control it. This nigga slid.

[Weezy]

Y'all still use Facebook?

[Mandy B]

No, that's for the old.

[Weezy]

I want to. I want to. I want to tell you that Facebook is for the cheaters.

[Mandy B]

Let me tell you what Facebook is for the cheater.

[Weezy]

So let's say if you log in or you logged out of Facebook on one device, or let's say your computer now, Facebook will let you log in. Right. They'll be like, cool. You can just say yes on this device. You log in. Cool. Now you need an extra code to get into the chat history.

[Mandy B]

Oh, yeah. Damn. It's given Snapchat.

[Weezy]

Yeah. I mean, kind of. Yeah. So, like, now that's definitely for the cheaters. I'm gonna say. If a man is gonna go through your phone, he wants to find something.

[Tempest X]

Yes.

[Weezy]

Or he got something he's hiding.

[Mandy B]

He's. He's got something he's hiding.

[Weezy]

Or woman, whoever.

[Mandy B]

I love that your face was Like, I was tight. This bitch sounds nuts. And then as I kept explaining myself, you were like.

[Tempest X]

It changed.

[Mandy B]

Oh, shit.

[Weezy]

I'm the victim. I realized I was the victim the whole time in this story.

[Mandy B]

Well, before we get to the next part of this letter that I want to get into, where do you stand with. Do you believe that she is a cheater? Is the. Oh, you. Wait, you said.

[Weezy]

You said.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Weezy]

She's cheating.

[Mandy B]

Oh, she was cheating because she was entertaining other men while they were in a situation. Oh, no, no, no.

[Weezy]

Excuse me. No.

[Mandy B]

Opposite.

[Weezy]

She's not cheating.

[Mandy B]

She's not cheating.

[Weezy]

Never made it official. She's not cheating.

[Tempest X]

Yeah, okay, okay.

[Mandy B]

Everything happened before, baby doesn't count. I mean, I ain't gonna hold you, and y'all done heard it. It's why the fuck I got a boyfriend Now. He literally heard I was entertaining another nigga, and he said, oh, she's slipping away. I gotta make this official. And saxophone. Yes.

[Tempest X]

He really did.

[Mandy B]

Oh, no, no, no. So I shared the story on Patreon. Oh, this is on Patreon. Basically, while we were in Vegas together, mind you, after Breakfast Club happened, I had to tell him I had sex in St. Croix. I fucking shared it on the Breakfast Club, however. You ready? We're at our last dinner in Vegas during AVN Awards, and this nigga FaceTimes me, mind you, with an island emoji. So I'm like, man, I don't know why this nigga calling me, but my phone is straight up. So he sees this nigga calling, I'll be tight. And I'm like, man, I'm at dinner. I ain't gonna answer. Whole energy shifted.

[Weezy]

Hell, yeah. He literally.

[Mandy B]

He literally asked me at dinner, damn. Since you've been here with me, have you talked to him? Ooh. And I said, well, yeah. I showed him my outfit and everything for the AVN Awards. He held me talking heels, and it hit him like a ton of bricks. If y'all want to hear the full story, it's on Patreon. But basically, I looked at him and was like, well, what the fuck you jealous about? Read down all the ways he ain't show up for me. Nigga, of course I got other niggas. And I said, so if you want to change that, go sit with yourself. First off, get out this jealousy you got right now, because I don't know why you jealous. Please go sit with yourself and figure out how you see this looking, because as of right now, I'm talking to other niggas.

[Tempest X]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

And literally took Him a day. Three hours on the phone with his dad.

[Weezy]

Three hours on the phone with his dad.

[Mandy B]

Talk through the things. If y'all want to hear how that conversation went also on Patreon. And he booked his flight, came to Atlanta and we're together again.

[Weezy]

He asked. I'm going to say that's the thing that you got to do now. It's like as important as asking a woman to be your Valentine. You have to ask to be your boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever.

[Mandy B]

It has to be in.

[Weezy]

That's the real shit. It's not okay. We've been together for so long. No, because if they don't ask, it ain't real.

[Mandy B]

If it's not like, like. And that's what girls do a lot, right? Boyfriend, my man, my man, my man. To the homegirls, that's the boyfriend. That nigga don't think he in a relationship, like, it has to be intentional. And then once you're in that then. Which is the phase I'm in right now, now we start talking about what our boundaries look like, what we can and cannot do. I love that. How we keep respect for each other while we know that we are together and claiming each other to the world. Right?

[Weezy]

Love it.

[Mandy B]

And that's when that comes. I do want to bring up another element of this because I found it to be interesting and also what I'm going through now in my relationship. She says they were in a talking stage and situationship quote unquote for seven months before he officially asked her to be his girlfriend.

[Weezy]

It was fucking.

[Mandy B]

Now she literally also says that I know seven months is a long time to wait for someone to commit, but I gave him grace, quote unquote, and he was still healing from past relationships. I want to remove that as a thing. I will say it's been beating me up that me and Activay went about this relationship different than I've ever gone about. Like, I'm used to fucking on the first night. I end up liking you because the dick is so good that now I want it again. And now we start hanging out. Now I want you around. I'm used to starting relationships or situationships or feeling like I love a nigga based on the sex. Connection in bed, me and connection in bed, me and actor bae. Complete opposite.

[Weezy]

Right?

[Mandy B]

We.

[Weezy]

It was when you were sober.

[Mandy B]

It was when I was sober. Well, no, when we first met, I was dating that couple and he thought I was fucking nuts.

[Weezy]

Oh, that don't count.

[Mandy B]

We met.

[Weezy]

The first date was when you.

[Mandy B]

The first. The first Date we went on. I was sober the first date. He didn't come up to my room. Right.

[Weezy]

Not even a kiss.

[Mandy B]

Not even, you know, they didn't kiss the forehead.

[Weezy]

You know, they didn't kiss.

[Mandy B]

Shut up. Don't do that. We already did that on Kiss. We already did that on Episode. And the verdict came in. Most people agree with me, thank you very much. But we literally.

[Tempest X]

My husband went through. Took a long time to get anything.

[Weezy]

I want to hear that. But.

[Mandy B]

Oh, yeah. So we started the relationship off, though, with learning each other, with becoming friends, with learning our traumas, our triggers, where we are in our mental health, where we are in our financial journeys, where we are in our careers, who our friends were, who our family members are. Completely opposite from what I ever thought would happen for me. Getting into a relationship, real life. Yeah, I fucking like that, Nick.

[Weezy]

Why is that completely opposite of what you ever thought?

[Mandy B]

Because most of us lean into physical attraction first.

[Tempest X]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

Then sexual attraction.

[Weezy]

Got it.

[Mandy B]

Especially, like, if it's not a friend, say, you even start dating first. Me and this nigga didn't go on our first date until four months after we had been talking on the phone for hours every day. And I guess, yes, that kind of is what happens if you meet a nigga on a dating app or you decide to go to inmates.com and date a prisoner. But no, in the normal realm of things, you're meeting quickly, you're hanging out, you're attracted, you're attracted, you're spending a lot of time together, and you fucking. Yeah. And then you fall into a relationship. We fell into really caring for each other before sex was even introduced, which was night and day. So I just wanted to. Where you said, I know it's weird, and she said, I know it's weird that we just talk, you know, we were in this way for seven months before commitment. I find it beautiful to actually get to know somebody before committing. Yes.

[Weezy]

I mean, she's a teenager.

[Mandy B]

She's a whole teenager. She's very young. 19.

[Weezy]

Like, everything moves fast and slow at the same time.

[Tempest X]

Yes.

[Weezy]

Seven months seems probably, like, a lot of times.

[Mandy B]

And it ain't. And it ain't.

[Tempest X]

Nope.

[Mandy B]

So, wait, you said it took a while for your husband to show up for you?

[Tempest X]

Oh, I didn't let him kiss me for three months. I made him a kiss. I made him take me on dates. He's like, I never spend so much for dinners in my life.

[Mandy B]

How many dates before a kiss like that?

[Tempest X]

So many. Like, so many. And he finally. We were at A show, watching a band. And he was like. He finally just grabbed me and kissed me. He's like, I can't take this anymore. This shit is crazy.

[Mandy B]

Well, let's say. And there was consent. Yeah, he wanted consent now. He just cried. Yeah.

[Tempest X]

Yeah, there was consent.

[Mandy B]

Why. Why did you take so long to kiss him?

[Tempest X]

Because I really wanted to know. I had been through. I've already been divorced.

[Mandy B]

Okay.

[Tempest X]

I've been through several relationships with men at this age, and I wanted to know that this person was going to really be my best friend.

[Weezy]

That's cool.

[Mandy B]

Oh, wow.

[Tempest X]

And if we couldn't vibe and have things in common without being sexual, then. But then when I decided after the kiss, then I literally called him, and I was like, oh, we have to have sex now. And I never had someone show up so fast to pick me up. He was like, wait, what?

[Weezy]

It's all the way.

[Mandy B]

It's time. Call it up. Work.

[Tempest X]

And then he came to get me. The sex was a bomb. There you go, boo. And we've been together for almost 15 years.

[Weezy]

Damn. I love that.

[Mandy B]

I love it. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. I. In my maturity, y'all aren't gonna get probably the same sex stories. Weezy tried to get it out of me on Patreon, and I said. She's like, so tell us, how was the sex? I said, well, bitch, we're together. That doesn't tell you. Yeah. Oh.

[Weezy]

Like, oh, yeah.

[Mandy B]

That's. That's. That's the depths that you're getting. He's a public person. So I'm being.

[Tempest X]

Yes.

[Mandy B]

I'm being very particular. Yes. And very sensitive with what details I share. The last nigga was an old head. Like, I was like, nigga, don't nobody know your old ass. You ain't even got an Instagram. Nigga. Fuck out of here. I'm going to tell everybody that you like your ass. No, it was. It was. It was. It was insensitive of me to do so.

[Weezy]

Was it?

[Mandy B]

And I learned from my last relationship those mistakes. I will say to our listener, to anyone listening, beware of red flags with your partners.

[Tempest X]

Yes.

[Mandy B]

And also, if you know that you're not doing something wrong and you are being accused of doing something wrong, nine times out of ten, it's a projection. And your partner is probably living foul. Yeah. Yep.

[Tempest X]

Agreed.

[Weezy]

Don't agree. I'm just thinking about how you were a victim.

[Mandy B]

I know.

[Weezy]

Eden.

[Mandy B]

Eden is not the crime.

[Weezy]

He's the one.

[Mandy B]

I'm not gonna lie.

[Weezy]

As you were explaining more and more. I was like, damn, I definitely got got. But I was gonna say, though, is that I was like, mind you, I'm 30, right? So it's like, young. I was in a situationship not that long ago, but there was this form of communication amongst the fact that it's like, if we do interact with other people, we have to let each other know.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

Saying. And it wasn't an official thing. I did not ask her to be my girlfriend or nothing. In fact, that's actually faded away now. But my thing is that we had that communication. And if you are gonna do a situationship, protect yourself, communicate. And like, that's really all I will say.

[Mandy B]

I deal with free code niggas, so they actually want me to FaceTime them while I'm with other niggas. Strange. And this was in the past, before my relationship. And then for me, I never cared about when any of my sexual partners had other partners because I was always protected. So I think that if you are having casual, unprotected sex, that is where. Fuck a relationship and boundaries. You absolutely need to be transparent about testing and what other partners you're having and if you're not using condoms. But for me, I wasn't asking like, a nigga probably fucked a bitch before he came and fucked me. We using a condom. So I didn't really, you know, And I'm someone who gets tested every three months now, like, regardless. And so. Yeah, that's funny.

[Weezy]

How was it letting. Letting all your other hoes down?

[Mandy B]

Oh, what you mean?

[Weezy]

Like, when you got into this relationship, did you let them know?

[Mandy B]

No, I haven't. No.

[Weezy]

I had a friend who had to do that too, recently who had to, like, let people down. I'm like, okay.

[Mandy B]

You know what's crazy? I only had one hoe this whole time. I've been healing, like, after the couple and you know the one. And. And he's flat. He got his own situation happening anyways. He's a guy, like I said, he showed up for me for my birthday, which he knows who that guy is. And he was like, yeah, I knew. You told me about that bag to rub it in my face. I said, yeah. Cause, nigga, you have been talking to me four months before my birthday, and you ain't get me a gift. So he actually admitted that he knew me sharing about that birthday gift was to. Was. Was on purpose.

[Weezy]

Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.

[Mandy B]

He was like, oh, a nigga got you a $4,000 bag. Mm. And who this N. Don't worry about it. We ain't nothing. Right. So, yeah, it's funny, he admitted that he knew that was done to hurt him and it wasn't done to hurt you. I just wanted to let you know.

[Weezy]

But you knew it was gonna hurt and didn't care.

[Mandy B]

And got what I wanted and didn't care. I'm gonna let you know if you don't show up, the next N will. But, yeah, no, we're in a place now where I didn't really have to let no hoes down. That was my only person that was really in the picture. And to be fair, it's the same person that every time me and my ex broke up, they come back, I went and entertained. Okay, so he's been in the picture for three years. Just as someone there. I think I've been intentional on wanting to date this year. So I don't have hoes. He was an easy hoe to have. Shout out to him, but I'm in a relationship.

[Weezy]

Shout out to him.

[Mandy B]

I own, but I'm in a relationship now with someone that I value. He's aware. And so that's been cut off.

[Weezy]

I like that.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

And that's how it should be.

[Mandy B]

And that's it. He know I'm good. Don't talk to me ever again until I'm heartbroken and Michael come back.

[Weezy]

Oh, my God.

[Tempest X]

Until I'm crying.

[Mandy B]

But yeah, no, I didn't have to cut off any hoes, luckily. Like, mind you, y'all know if y'all listen to this pod I went through my. I was fucking porn stars and sex workers last year. Yeah, not anyone like. And yeah, they was cut off by the summertime. So anyways, guys, again, if you want us to give you advice on your questions, on your dilemmas, if you need us to help you make a decision, make sure you email [e-mail] we will read yours here and give you all the best advice and pretty much tell you your nigga cheating on you again. This is Tempest X here, look, please buy our book. No holes barred. You get the book. Minus the dimples in the thighs showing all on camera. Goddamn, baby, these thighs gonna thigh. Don't matter how much weight I lose. Anyways, make sure you get our book. Please, please, please, no hoes Bard. A dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. The co host of Decisions Decisions Again. Purchase it wherever you get. Books help us become New York Times bestseller. We will not do it without you guys. Let us show the world how strong the whore hive really is. You've got decisions and the decision is to get our motherfucking book.

[Weezy]

That's right.

[Mandy B]

All right. And we out of here. See y'all next week.