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Mandy
If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?
Weezy
You've got decisions. All right, y'all, we are back again giving you decisions because you've got decisions. If you guys want to have Weezy and I answer your questions, make sure you share. Shoot us over in email. Hun decisionspodmail.com now, this advice may be.
Mandy
Good or it may not be, but we're gonna give it to you either.
Weezy
Way we gon listen. We are giving you what we got. That's it.
Mandy
And if it's bad, I'm just a podcaster.
Weezy
That's it. Do not take this as what is it? When your therapist give you advice, Bible, gospel, all of that. Like, this is not healthcare advice or what? I don't fuck.
Mandy
Nah, fuck it. What's this bitch want?
Weezy
What else? All right, so y'all, this week we are talking about the possibility of outgrowing relationships. So here we go. Question is, have I outgrown my relationship? Hey, Mandy and Weezy. I love you guys so much, but I. Boom. So I've been with my boyfriend since I was 18 and I really love him, but lately I feel like I'm outgrowing the relationship. I'm 26 now and finding that I want more from life, to go out, explore and build something meaningful together. While he's kind, loyal, debatable, and loves me deeply, he lacks motivation and often puts things off, like plans to go to the gym or doing activities together when I ask. Most of our time together has been spent smoking and talking with very few dates since he spends a lot of his money on weed. And honestly, I'm over smoking too. It is always last when we're together and I feel like we are so comfortable together and have turned into family. But honestly, I realize it's been years and years of the same routine with him. Even the sex has faded away. Sort of. He gets frustrated when we go a while without sex. He tries to be chill about it and asks if it's him, but I never know what to really say. But I feel like I'm never in the mood because there's not much happening. Then when I recommend stuff for us to do, he agrees and says we will, but we rarely do. Sometimes I feel like I'm being difficult, but I don't know. I asked him if he's went and had sex with anyone else and he admitted that he did. This actually didn't make me mad because I know it's just because we haven't been having sex, but should this be my time to exit? I'm in a dilemma because I really do love him. He feels like family. Recently, I reconnected with an old friend who has qualities I wish my boyfriend had. He's responsible, driven, and active. Being around him makes me realize what I might be missing out on. He's also about to be moving back out when I where I live. And I honestly want to get into his skin so badly. I feel guilty for wanting more because I know my boyfriend is committed and loves me. Bitch. He also is. All right. But part of me wonders if it's time to move on. How should I handle this conversation with my boyfriend? And do you think it's right to step out? P.S. i love y'all. Thank y'all in advance. There's a lot of things about this.
Mandy
I want you to start, but what I would like to say is you're confused, but you typed that whole thing up, girl. And what I will say is, if you're at the point where you're paragraphs into a podcast of some bitches that talk about sex, bitch, you know you far gone. You know this relationship. Far gone. And you also know that, like, when the doubt is that heavy, you're really just writing this because you just want us to tell you it's okay to go. I believe that, but go ahead.
Weezy
No, I believe that, too. I think it's interesting saying that he's a great boyfriend, but also cheated on you. Whether he admitted to it or not, he has already stepped out. So to me, a few things can happen here. Right. I think on decisions, decisions, the conversation is leaning more into what a non traditional relationship could look like. So the fact that he stepped out and it didn't even make you upset because you weren't giving him sex, but you have the desire to have sex with someone else. Of course, I'm always gonna say, start there. See how you can navigate a relationship where maybe you both are open to getting the things you want from someone else, knowing that you guys still have love for each other. Right. Secondly, however you wanting to do more and him being in the same space he was probably in when y'all met at 18. You guys have been together for eight years, since you were 18, you're now 26. I think that it's okay to notice that you're. I wouldn't say outgrowing, but changing. Change is okay and change is expected in a relationship. So I think that's the first thing you should have a conversation with Your boyfriend about, hey, I want to do these things. I bring them up, we don't do them. Hey, I know you like getting high. I don't really like smoking anymore. And I think you bring up the things that you do enjoy doing to see if you and him can enjoy these new things together. I don't think that you should leave him. I don't. I will never tell you to cheat, but I think you have to have a real conversation with him about how the relationship could maybe mold into looking differently. Um, especially if you're not mad that he stepped out and he admitted it, like, as if he was expecting you not to be mad. So I'd lean that way first and then maybe find someone else that you could have that fun with if you still really love being with this man.
Mandy
The problem is, like, even questioning, oh, is it okay if I step out? It's like, you only want to do it just because the motherfucker did it. And then you really have this thing of now you're the one who hasn't. I think that's when a lot of people start talking about stepping out.
Weezy
It doesn't sound like even she wants to step out because he wants to.
Mandy
But she asked that.
Weezy
Yeah, no, no, she asked if she should step out, but it doesn't sound like she wants to get back. It sounds like I've met this guy that has all the qualities that I wish my boyfriend had and now it's making me sexually attracted to him, which is what she says in the last paragraph now, that he's ambitious, he's driven, he's outgoing, I want to get in his skin. I want to fuck this man because he's everything I kind of wish my boyfriend was. But she's also not saying she hates her boyfriend. He's just not into the things she likes right now. And I think that's the thing too. When you're a 26 year old woman, bro, nothing is sexier than a man with ambition and drive and a go getter. Like, at 26, you don't want a man that just plays video games all day and smokes weed.
Mandy
But I also understand her saying you feel like family, because I think a lot of couples turn into family. When she made that comment and she.
Weezy
Said that multiple times.
Mandy
Oh, yeah. Like, I'm really watching myself with. I've never farted. Like, I'm getting to this point of comfortability in my relationship where if I'm a little bloated, he'd be like, baby, just try to shit. Or if I say it like, I'm feeling so bloated, I don't feel well. And I'm like, oh, my God, we can't talk about shit. Can't talk about shit with you. Then you turn around my brother, like, what the fuck? I don't want to, like, get to this point where that's so different.
Weezy
Bitch. I be shitting on the phone with N. On FaceTime, they just look at the ceiling. As long as I don't have to, like, push it out, I'll shit on FaceTime.
Aden
Is that what you sound like when you push it up?
Weezy
I mean, when it's really strong and you gotta focus, but, like, I'll just have the FaceTime looking up to the ceiling and. Or be on the.
Mandy
Are you fucking kidding me?
Weezy
No, bitch. I'll be on the toilet when I talk.
Mandy
Why can't you call them back?
Weezy
Cause we're in a good conversation.
Aden
And I like, I agree. I definitely use the restroom.
Mandy
Oh, I use the restroom on FaceTime.
Weezy
But, yeah, and I just make it.
Mandy
Look at the floor.
Aden
It just faces the ceiling.
Weezy
And I just keep going. Or I'll talk louder when I know it's about the blop.
Aden
Or you have. Or you have an excuse me. That was crazy.
Weezy
I just.
Mandy
I like.
Weezy
I like, talk a little louder. They don't hear. But I'm like, it's so comfortable if I'm eating your ass. And if we're going to be having sex. And Mindy, that's sex.
Mandy
That's during sex, bro.
Weezy
If I am licking your body, I. I'm.
Aden
I subscribe to that.
Weezy
I'm not. I'm not, like, delusional to what we do with our body.
Mandy
I want to see a statistic about couples that. In front of each other and fart in front of each other.
Aden
That's different. No, no, no, no.
Weezy
I'm not even in relationships with.
Aden
Don't in front of me. I'm cool.
Weezy
I'm not going to in front of you, but on FaceTime, you're not seeing me.
Aden
Y.
Weezy
You just know I'm on the toilet.
Mandy
No. There has to be some science to this. Like, does it actually make you closer, or does it make it worse?
Aden
Don't you get peed on?
Weezy
No. Right? What are we talking about?
Mandy
But it's a sexual act.
Weezy
But that's a toilet. Still peed. That's a toilet act.
Mandy
It's not like you're shitting for sex.
Weezy
But that's a toilet act, bitch.
Mandy
I am not one of you.
Weezy
What does that mean? What does that mean what does that mean?
Mandy
You're a shit on FaceTime, girl, bro.
Weezy
Because I'm very comfortable with.
Mandy
And you know what makes it worse? Your butt is such a fucking attribute of you. Where Dora's like, oh, wow. Like, a lot of people don't have that butt. And now all I could think is shit coming out of it on Facebook.
Weezy
No, bro, I need people to. Like, we are human beings. If you don't think your nigga don't shit and may have some rough ones, you are like, bro, don't be delusional with the human body.
Mandy
I don't know how we got here, but anyway, I don't want to get. Because, like, I feel like once you get to that family point where you could do anything around each other, I don't always think that's good. I think you should research.
Weezy
I don't think that's good.
Mandy
No, I think you should reserve some things for private.
Aden
I agree.
Weezy
Like what?
Aden
Clearly not shitting.
Mandy
Shitting.
Weezy
No.
Aden
I mean, don't shit in front of me. Like, that's one. Pee in front of me. I'm kind of. Whatever.
Mandy
Pee is not a big deal. But I think. Well, we know. I think that, but I think farting in front of someone.
Weezy
Oh, no. Fart in front of someone deliberately. Do not do that.
Aden
Yeah.
Weezy
Do not just walk by and fart. I don't want to be in your fumes and stuff like that. But we're on FaceTime. I'm on the toilet. We're not even by each other. And to me, like, when my ex was coming over all the time, I'd let him know, you might not want to go in the bathroom for a little bit.
Aden
That's fair, because that happens.
Mandy
Okay. Let me ask you a question, Aden. You're dating a girl. Let's say it's been. Let's give it two months. Okay, Dave. You two. And you're on FaceTime. And she's like, oh, I gotta go to the bathroom. Now you're thinking it's P. Call me back. And you realize she's shitting. You said call me.
Aden
Oh, yeah. Well, I kind of. I'm not gonna lie. I do say call me back if you want.
Weezy
Like, for the.
Aden
But it's for the privacy, not because of the shitting.
Weezy
But is there a problem? And she's like, no, it's good.
Aden
No, I'm chilling now. If I start hearing the. No, I'm cool.
Mandy
Not a dj.
Aden
Yeah, I'm cool.
Mandy
Dave, what you doing?
Aden
Yeah, call me back.
Weezy
I agree, but Only if the woman wants to.
Aden
If she wants to call me back.
Weezy
If she wants to. Hold on.
Mandy
So if she wants to shit on the phone with you, you. You still in it. Y'all do anything for some pussy. This is crazy to me.
Weezy
Sorry. That we're human.
Aden
Yeah.
Weezy
And we all understand we have human.
Mandy
I would like to call for a phone. Let's all phone a friend. I can't fucking believe.
Weezy
No, you just want someone to be on you, bro. You're outnumbered here. It's okay. If you are dating someone and you guys are insane.
Mandy
I need to call.
Aden
If your man was shitting while y'all were on FaceTime and you didn't realize the last minute you'd be tighter.
Weezy
You would be upset that you knew he was on the phone with you.
Mandy
No, on. On face. On FaceTime's crazy. Why'd you involve me in your. On the audio. It's different. I shit on a fucking Zoom audio call.
Aden
Exactly.
Weezy
What's the difference? Difference?
Aden
You're not going to see me on the face.
Mandy
Not a romantic.
Weezy
You're looking at the ceiling. Not looking at the FaceTime. Showing the shit. Leave my ass.
Aden
Mandy, please. She already put that visual in my head.
Weezy
But I don't. He's not.
Mandy
They don't need to know that we.
Weezy
Shit.
Aden
Okay, okay.
Mandy
I'm not a lie.
Aden
I do very much subscribe to the realm of. I don't want to pretend like I don't want to know that girl's poop.
Weezy
You don't have to know the poop, bro. By the way, can we get back to what she. What this listener should do in her relationship?
Mandy
Oh, just break up with him.
Aden
Yeah. For real? Like, I mean.
Weezy
Oh, wait. You feel like that she should break up with this man?
Aden
Kind of.
Mandy
Word to the read. Just break up with him.
Weezy
Really?
Aden
Yeah.
Mandy
Sorry. What about you think she should work in it?
Weezy
I think she still. She is 26. But then this might be where you just introduce a non traditional style of better niggas.
Mandy
Can I say this?
Weezy
I will say that. I will say that, sis, you could most likely do better. Cause Amanda just wants to smoke weed all day. And that doesn't take you on dates. You deserve better.
Mandy
Now, I don't want to sound very auntie or mom like, but I'm gonna say this.
Aden
Too late.
Mandy
I think it is too late. That smoke for breakfast shit is a fucking. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry I'm saying this, but here we go. The most low vibrational bullshit.
Weezy
Not low vibrational.
Mandy
I meet a motherfucker that smoke in the morning. I could feel the weed in their house. They, like, knead the fucking smoke. That's all we do. I'm disgusted, honestly. I don't hang with men or women like that. I hang with weed smokers. I don't hang with people that make that a part of their esthetic. I think that shit is fudgeing weird.
Weezy
It's not an aesthetic, but maybe there's.
Mandy
You know, the type I'm talking about.
Weezy
But a lot of my friends, it's.
Aden
A very low percentage.
Weezy
I have friends that literally, if we're going out to dinner, yeah, they're going outside to smoke because they have to smoke before they eat.
Aden
I feel like that's kind of.
Weezy
They wake up and smoke. They're driving and they smoke. I have friends that literally smoke all day long. Yeah.
Mandy
Not. Not to.
Aden
Are they functional?
Weezy
Yeah.
Aden
See, I feel like there's a low percentage of people who can do all that waking bacon and everything and actually have.
Mandy
Maybe you'd rather dine a whole lot.
Weezy
And you know what? And that's probably the issue with her boyfriend right now.
Aden
Yeah.
Weezy
He may smoke so much to where he's not functional. To take you on dates or to remember that you said something.
Mandy
I'm gonna be real. I don't care if it's functional. I take anything that you need to do as a sign of weakness. If you need alcohol to have a good time, you need to smoke before we go eat or in the morning. And not to call your friends weak. I don't mean that genuinely. I'm not trying to say that. I just mean what it looks like.
Weezy
It's your opinion.
Mandy
I don't care what it looks like to me. I can't be around it all the time.
Aden
I get that.
Mandy
Like, if I'm sitting with a partner, if my boyfriend is doing this, like, what the fuck, nigga? I have shit to do. Like, I don't give a fuck if I am a freelancer or I can dictate my own day. I don't think that type of culture is cool. I've literally been around people that won't go to a spot if they can't smoke in it. And I think that's crazy.
Aden
It's very common in my space, too.
Weezy
Yeah. I mean, but to me, that's what. Like, I have friends that literally wake up and pop Adderall. Cause that's what they need. Like, I don't think again, if you're functioning, it's fine. As a partner. The only thing I don't want my partner to do all day is play video games. But that's because I think that has an impact on you being productive.
Mandy
Hold on. Do you think wake and bake is.
Weezy
I would rather a man smoke all day long every day and need to smoke before eating than playing video games for hours on end.
Aden
Yes, I kind of see that. Yes, I kind of get that.
Weezy
Yes.
Aden
But why?
Weezy
Okay, so do not be. Unless you're making six figures playing video games. Let me go ahead and throw the caveat because the gamers are going to be like, well, some of us make a lot of money doing it. Shut the fuck up.
Mandy
Majority of the men maybe associate video games differently. So, like, I feel that video games if. I guess if you're talking in terms of someone that does it all day, sure. But like, if someone enjoys a game for leisure, what do I give a fuck?
Weezy
No, I'm talking about hours on end. If you're talking. If we're talking about the addiction on how much you do it if you play a video game for one hour. No, I'm not gonna compare you to someone who smokes all day. If we're talking about a guy who needs to smoke and function, I'm comparing him to a gamer that may literally be able to sit a whole work shift six to eight hours and play video games.
Aden
Well, what if my Saturday is smoking and playing video games, but every other day is fine?
Weezy
You better have a savings account.
Aden
Oh, I mean, yeah, but I'm working.
Weezy
You better. You better work. Like, to me it makes sense on your off day. I'm talking about a daily thing, so what's the difference? I don't want a daily gamer.
Mandy
I think a way that I do like mindless shit and decompress is trash TV. Everyone knows I love 90 Day Fiance. Everyone knows you love Real Housewives.
Weezy
Do you have the time to do it every day?
Mandy
But if I spent my whole Saturday doing that, is that not compare.
Aden
That's fine. I think she means if it's like.
Mandy
I'm saying no, but that's the point.
Weezy
We're talking about the everyday weed smoker compared to the everyday gamer. I'm not talking about binging on an off day. We're literally comparing.
Mandy
I don't have anyone. I don't. You can't binge on anything and not fucking get to it. That's a no for me, period. I'm just saying the comparison. Yeah, to me, video games in a way can be brain games. But there is something about weed smoker culture that is Very lazy and addictive. And I just. I don't know, I can't appreciate it. But I am somebody that smokes weed. You know what I mean? So when I hear that that's what they like to do. He can't get up and do stuff. Of course I'm going to correlate the two.
Aden
Yeah, the priorities are not matched.
Weezy
It's laziness. And again, I think he's one of those. That is a weed smoker. That's not functional. And I think that when you again get to 26 years old, you do start requiring and looking at your partner differently because you're looking at them as well. Is he a provider? Is this someone that I can build with? Which is also what she's saying. When I was 18, I wasn't looking at that. At 26, I want to be able to build with my partner. And this is clearly someone you can't build with.
Mandy
You know, there's another thing that my homegirl said she was dating a smoker. Like one of them everyday types. She literally said to me, I just feel like he always got to escape from something. And she's like, and I hate it. I hate when someone's got to drink or smoke to escape from some shit.
Weezy
Well, there's sex. There's a lot of vices because we use.
Mandy
The average person will use these things to add to the vibe, not to be the fucking day, just literally your life. So I think meeting someone at that young age, that's already starting off that way. No, I think you got to get to a point in life where you deserve it.
Weezy
Well, I think she said that she was also that person and she just notices that she's in a place of change.
Mandy
You don't need to be with that man like that.
Weezy
You definitely don't need to be with him. Let's be very clear.
Mandy
Yeah. If you have some bad habits about you. One of the most important things I feel like I recognized recently in business and in a relationship is knowing where my weaknesses are, being very upfront about those things. If you know your weakness is something that you see in a partner, you'll drag each other down. Like, it's just. There's no point in being together if I know that I'm always late or I'm delayed on projects often and my partner doesn't excel in that. What the fuck are we doing? How will we ever get shit done together? This is not a good match. Like, the faults need to be a strength in someone else. The same thing in business. Having a business partner and you're both bad at something. What the fuck is the point of that? So I really believe that a lot of people need to pay attention to that. In love. Like if your partner or someone you're interested in has something admirable about them that you're like, damn, I would like to be like that. Or you admire it? Hell the fuck yeah. That's a hell yes. The same for men and women. Listening. Don't you dare get with a motherfucker that got the same vice as you. Hell no. You're fucked.
Weezy
I agree. Well, if you want to take our advice or need our advice, or think you want our advice, make sure you email Handy back.
Mandy
You probably don't need it.
Weezy
Make sure you email us decisionspodmail.com because you've got decisions. And we'll see you guys next week.
Mandy
Bye, y'all.
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Podcast Summary: "Decisions, Decisions" – Episode: "You've Got Decisions: Have I Outgrown My Relationship?"
Podcast Information:
Episode Details:
The episode opens with Mandii B and WeezyWTF welcoming listeners back to "Decisions, Decisions." They encourage audience participation by inviting listeners to submit their relationship questions via email at decisionspodmail.com. The hosts set the tone by emphasizing that their advice is unfiltered and should not replace professional guidance.
Notable Quote:
A listener reaches out with a heartfelt dilemma about her long-term relationship. She outlines her concerns about feeling stagnant and unfulfilled despite loving her boyfriend. Key points from her message include:
Notable Quotes:
Mandy's Perspective: Mandy interprets the listener's elaborate message as a sign that she recognizes deeper issues in the relationship. She suggests that the listener likely wants validation to move on and hints at the relationship being "far gone."
Notable Quote:
Weezy's Insights: Weezy delves deeper, analyzing the dynamics of the relationship:
Notable Quotes:
In an unexpected but humorous detour, the hosts engage in a lively discussion about the awkwardness of bodily functions during virtual dates. While this segment diverges from the main topic, it serves to lighten the mood and showcase the hosts' chemistry and candidness.
Highlights:
Notable Quotes:
After the comedic interlude, Mandy and Weezy refocus on the listener's predicament. They converge on the consensus that ending the relationship is likely the best course of action given the misalignment in life goals and personal growth trajectories.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
Mandii B reinforces the importance of recognizing and acting upon personal needs within a relationship. She connects this to broader life lessons about acknowledging weaknesses and ensuring that partnerships are complementary rather than detrimental.
Key Takeaways:
Notable Quotes:
The episode concludes with the hosts reiterating their availability for listener questions and encouraging continued engagement through their designated email channel.
Conclusion:
In this episode of "Decisions, Decisions," Mandii B and WeezyWTF provide candid and insightful advice to a listener contemplating whether she has outgrown her long-term relationship. Through a blend of serious discussion and lighthearted banter, the hosts emphasize the importance of personal growth, compatibility, and self-worth in sustaining meaningful relationships. They ultimately advocate for the listener to consider ending her relationship to pursue a more fulfilling and aligned partnership, underscoring the podcast's commitment to fostering open and honest conversations about modern love and connection.