You've Got Decisions: He Takes PREP (Follow-Up) Ft. Assante

Summary

Podcast Summary: Decisions, Decisions – "You've Got Decisions: He Takes PREP (Follow-Up)" Featuring Asante

Release Date: July 30, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B and WeezyWTF
Guest: Asante of The Friend Zone Podcast

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of "Decisions, Decisions," hosts Mandii B and WeezyWTF delve into the complexities surrounding non-traditional relationships, focusing specifically on the topic of PREP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) and its implications in modern dating scenarios. The episode features a follow-up discussion with Asante from The Friend Zone Podcast, providing listeners with nuanced perspectives on sexual health, relationship dynamics, and the stigmas associated with PREP.

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Understanding PREP and Its Stigma

The episode begins with Mandii and Asante unpacking the multifaceted nature of PREP. They explore how PREP, originally marketed towards the gay community, has expanded to be a preventive measure for anyone engaging in sexual activity, regardless of sexual orientation. However, despite its broad applicability, PREP still carries significant stigma, particularly within the gay community.

Notable Quote:

• Mandii: "PREP is only preventing or protecting you from one thing, not all the other STDs. So then it became this thing for some gays, like, all right, well, if I'm not even sexually active, why should I be taking it?" ([08:05])

The hosts discuss how internalized homophobia and societal pressures have contributed to the reluctance among some gay men to adopt PREP, viewing it as either unnecessary or as a means to justify unprotected sex. This internal conflict highlights the ongoing challenges in normalizing PREP usage beyond niche communities.

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Listener Voicemail: Brianna's Dilemma

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to addressing a heartfelt voicemail from a listener named Brianna. She recounts her experiences with her boyfriend, who has been taking PREP, and expresses confusion and concern over his actions and their relationship's future.

Brianna's Story: Brianna shares that she discovered her boyfriend taking PREP and distributing it to friends, raising questions about his safety and honesty. Additionally, she reveals her boyfriend's interest in MMF threesomes and his suggestive behavior, such as showing her explicit videos of himself with other women. Despite her efforts to communicate her fantasies, the relationship feels stagnant and lacks a clear future.

Notable Quotes:

• Brianna: "He was like, 'I love to see you taking dick from another.' I'm like, so what happened to you?" ([14:40])
• Mandii: "He might just like watching you engage in sex with someone else doesn't mean he wants to engage with the men." ([17:07])

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Analysis and Advice

Mandii and Weezy provide a thoughtful analysis of Brianna's situation, emphasizing the importance of distinguishing between sexual behavior and sexual identity. They caution against hastily labeling her boyfriend's sexuality based solely on his actions, advocating instead for creating a safe space that allows for honest and open communication.

Key Discussion Points:

1. Safety and Transparency: The necessity for both partners to feel secure and honest about their sexual practices and intentions.
2. Sexual Identity vs. Behavior: Understanding that engaging in certain sexual activities does not automatically define one's sexual orientation.
3. Personal Needs and Boundaries: Encouraging Brianna to evaluate her own desires and whether the relationship aligns with her long-term goals.

Notable Quotes:

• Weezy: "There's somebody for everybody, no matter how temporary the situation is." ([19:48])
• Mandii: "Let them do it, period." ([21:50])

The hosts also highlight the importance of regular HIV testing, even when taking PREP, to ensure comprehensive sexual health monitoring. They discuss the potential for expanding PREP usage and reducing stigma by promoting it as a standard preventive measure akin to birth control for hormonal imbalances.

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Broader Insights on PREP and Relationship Dynamics

Beyond Brianna's story, Mandii and Weezy explore broader themes related to PREP's role in modern relationships. They discuss the evolution of PREP from a tool primarily for the gay community to a universally recommended preventive measure. The conversation underscores the need to normalize PREP usage across all demographics to mitigate the stigma and promote safer sexual practices.

Notable Quotes:

• Weezy: "Everybody's fucking. It doesn't matter. Gay, straight, whatever." ([08:54])
• Mandii: "We just have to decide. Is that something you would have a problem with?" ([06:54])

The hosts advocate for open dialogues about sexual health, encouraging individuals to prioritize their well-being and communicate their needs transparently within their relationships. They also touch upon the societal pressures that influence how individuals perceive and utilize PREP, urging a shift towards more informed and less judgmental perspectives.

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Conclusion

In this episode of "Decisions, Decisions," Mandii B and WeezyWTF offer an insightful exploration of PREP, its usage, and the surrounding stigmas within the context of modern relationships. Through Brianna's relatable story and their expert analysis, the hosts provide valuable advice on navigating complex relationship dynamics, emphasizing the importance of safety, honesty, and self-awareness. The discussion serves as a powerful reminder to normalize preventive health measures and foster open conversations about sexual well-being in all types of relationships.

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Connect with the Hosts:

• Mandii B: Selective Ignorance Podcast
• WeezyWTF (Asante): The Friend Zone Podcast on all streaming platforms and Patreon

For more advice or to share your own story, listeners can email [e-mail] or leave a voicemail at 973-932-2022.

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Stay tuned for more candid conversations and insightful discussions every Monday on "Decisions, Decisions," your go-to source for reshaping your understanding of love and connections in today's world.

Transcript

[Mandy V]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Asante]

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[Mandy V]

If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend or a terrible thruffle, guess what? You've got Decisions. It's hump day. It's you got decisions. It may be with my friend Asante. I tried, I tried, I tried. No. Oh. Cause I said hey and I went Asante. I did that. All right, all right. I had to. Maybe I'mma edit that mess up y'. All. Welcome to youo Got Decisions. I'm your girl Mandy V. And it's another episode where we're giving you advice. This week actually we are responding to to someone who sent us an update which I love and to help me out with their dilemma this go around I am joined by Asante, 1/3 of the Friend Zone. When can they listen to the Friend Zone?

[Weezy]

The Friend Zone comes out Wednesdays of every week potentially. It's on. Oh we actually are on Patreon.

[Mandy V]

Y' all are on Patreon.

[Weezy]

We're on all streaming platforms. Spotify, SoundCloud. The FriendZone Podcast is what we're called. If you go to patreon.com friendzonepodcast you will get premium content from us. You will actually get to see what we look like. We are on social medias. You can find us social media.

[Mandy V]

Can you not sound 50 years old? We are on the social media.

[Weezy]

We are on the socials. Just Google the Friend Zone podcast, you will find all of our socials. It's little variations everywhere but we out there. Okay, but I'm eyyasante just look me up and you will find the Friend Zone podcast.

[Mandy V]

Period. And if you guys want to send us an email to get advice from us, you can email us decisionspodmail.com or if you enjoy voicemails like I'm going to play today, you guys can join me over on Patreon as patreon.com backslash horrible decisions. And you can leave us a voicemail at 973-932-2022 sale before we get to this voicemail though, y' all already know I'm reading yalls reviews from Amazon and it would help us deeply for you guys to leave us a review. Head on over to Amazon or goodreads.com and leave us a review if you have enjoyed our book. So I'm reading this one this week from let's get this from Kania. So this comes from Kania. She rated us five stars. It said the girls are New York Times bestsellers for a reason, hon. First and foremost. Thanks man. Thanks Mandy and Weezy for being so open with personal events. I'm so happy to have fully read this book. I learned a lot and the book was amazing. And I'm not even a reader. I read this in 3.5 days. I couldn't put it down since I started and I was blessed to go to a book signing and get mine signed. K, thank you so so so so so so much and thank everyone who supported us in becoming a New York Times bestseller. Also, if you haven't yet, get no holes barred. And if you're not a reader like Kaniya, the audiobook is available and bitch, it was the hardest thing I ever did. So go and get that goddamn y'.

[Weezy]

All narrated that shit.

[Mandy V]

We narrated that shit. Let me tell you, a bitch was burping a bitch realized I don't read out loud very much. I was like no, how you say this?

[Weezy]

How long do you know how long the audiobook is?

[Mandy V]

10 hours.

[Weezy]

Oh for real?

[Mandy V]

Uh huh. We kind of wrote a little bit. So the AudioBook is like 10 hours. You can get it wherever you listen to audiobooks. I think it's on Spotify and shit now. But yeah, make sure you get that. And I am looking to do some sort of element of going deep diving into each of my chapters. But I may do that over on Selective Ignorance because bitch, I talk about how ignorant I was so much throughout my process of growing up and learning my self worth and all the things. So y' all might have to slide over to selective Ignorance to check that Out. And if you haven't yet, subscribe, I have another podcast myself, Selective Ignorance Podcast now on the Black Effect Network. All right, well, this one is a catch up. So. Asante, I'm gonna catch you up. Y' all may remember this. Basically, this was an episode I did with Eden where she called in and she saw in his medicine cabinet that he had prepped.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy V]

And he kind of said that he was giving them to his friends. That was his excuse for prep Now, y'. All.

[Weezy]

Oh, my God.

[Mandy V]

Now I was just like, what?

[Weezy]

What does that mean? Now it's a daily medication, and you're giving them to your friends.

[Mandy V]

You're giving them to your friends. And that's where I was. Like, maybe he's embarrassed to be on prep. And there's a few reasons, right? Especially if you live in a city like Atlanta. I get that. If you. Outside. Even me, I wanted to get on prep. Me and Ahsante talked about it. Cause I'd be at sex clubs, and sometimes I have sex with people who I don't know their whole, you know, sexual history. So we went into. Okay, he could be hiding his sexuality or he could just be. Literally could be hiding that you're free or just. Yeah. Or just, like, being safe. Because he'd be outside. Right. So this is now getting into the catch up after our. Our advice.

[Weezy]

Okay. Okay. Well, what was the advice y' all gave?

[Mandy V]

Um, I just told her, if he's lying, maybe you haven't created the safe space for him to be honest.

[Weezy]

Mm.

[Mandy V]

But also, prep could mean he is, you know, not straight. Would you consider. And by the way, I'm aware prep could be for many things.

[Weezy]

It's not just for Gabby somewhere else.

[Mandy V]

No, but I was just, like, you have to decide. Is that something you would be. You would have a problem with? Like, if he chose to be honest with you about what type of sex he's having outside of y'.

[Weezy]

All. Cause there are gay men that won't take prep.

[Mandy V]

What do you. Wait, yeah.

[Weezy]

See why? You see how I didn't land where you thought I was gonna. You just did that to me.

[Mandy V]

Oh, wait, yeah. No, you didn't.

[Weezy]

No, because when you first said he could be taking prep because he's not ready to reveal sexuality or something like that. There are gay men that won't take prep. Cause they don't wanna accept that. Like, that's part of, like, the thing. Like, they're like, oh, by taking prep, it's normalizing that I'm having sex for, you know, std. Protection. But I'm not having sex for that anyway. I'm having it for love. Or it's supposed to make me look like I'm targeted. I'm a homosexual because I'm taking this medication when I'm not even sexually active. So there are stigmas within the gay.

[Mandy V]

What are the conversations then, around prep in the gay community?

[Weezy]

Child, there's too many. Well, it's. I mean, it was made, you know, allegedly for the gays.

[Mandy V]

For the gays, which I love now. Like, and we've been talking with Gilead Sciences, and they, like, we were at black women's health imperative at Essence. And the conversation now is that PREP is for everybody.

[Weezy]

It is for everybody.

[Mandy V]

But the conversations did start with the gay community, specifically black gay men.

[Weezy]

With black gay men. And so it went from black gay men are. We're either gonna take this to use it as a preventative function, or we're taking this just because it'll give me another reason or excuse to have raw sex. Oh. So then people were like, okay, well, you know, PREP is only preventing or protecting you from one thing, not all the other STDs. So then it became this thing for some gays, like, all right, well, if I'm not even sexually active, why should I be taking it? And then others were like, well, you should just be taking it just to have. And then there was a thing of, well, you shouldn't take it because the government is trying to infect you with that little bit of it to keep you. What, so many internal homophobic or internal homosexual issues that when it came. It became, like, a straight thing for people to start talking about prep. I'm like, everybody should just take this. Everybody fucking. Like, I don't understand.

[Mandy V]

Period. Everybody is fucking.

[Weezy]

Everybody's fucking. It doesn't matter. Gay, straight, whatever. But there is something to be said about not being sexually active and just taking, like, birth control or things like that when you're not even sexually active.

[Mandy V]

When you're not even sex. Well, it's crazy, too, because they use birth control now for a lot of hormonal imbalances for women. So if you have pcos, they'll subscribe you birth control. If you have endometriosis or certain fibroids, they'll. They'll literally subscribe you. Prescribe. You look at me. Subscribe. Subscribe. They'll prescribe you these just because. Yeah, burp. And there's nothing wrong with it. But when it comes to prep, yeah. There's still this stigma around it. We'll try to normalize it. And they just came out with a shot twice a year.

[Weezy]

Yeah, the shots I'm about to get on that shit.

[Brianna]

Look.

[Mandy V]

Cause the pills don't nobody want to take a pill every day. And if you can't take a pill every day, maybe you take your Flintstones vitamins. So maybe, so maybe you want less pills. Maybe you could do it. But for me, when I saw that now it's too much. Too much shots a year, every six months. And mind you, before you take the shot, kind of like with prep. So prep you can get three month prescriptions from like your Planned Parenthood or any. We actually just drove past a prep walk in center here. So we're in. I'll. I'll point it out to you. When, when, when we leave here. I'm over on. Well this is the studio. I just had a little studio where it's at. Well to me it's more like. Well in Atlanta I'm over off Josephine Lowry on the west end. They not gonna come right now. I'm just kidding. But yeah, if you wanna walk into there's a literally prep walk in clinic right over here in this area. You know, go, go get it.

[Weezy]

Even though you're using prep, you still need to test.

[Mandy V]

You still have to get tested. People don't. So that's the thing you, they test you before they give you your next prescription.

[Weezy]

Yep.

[Mandy V]

So every three months when you have to re up or if you get on this shot every six months, you're gonna have to take a HIV test before they. But to me, what I'm hoping it does is it normalizes even people just talking about when was the last time you got tested?

[Weezy]

Right.

[Mandy V]

You know what I mean?

[Weezy]

Well, and again because you're getting tested to see if you got other shit too.

[Mandy V]

Hello.

[Weezy]

So a. You know. Cause it's like, oh well why am I getting tested if the prep works?

[Mandy V]

Bitch, because you just have shit. There's other shit.

[Weezy]

Things like hey, there's the chance that it might not work. So it's like hey girl, you weren't taking your shit, right. So now you got xyz.

[Mandy V]

You know, people hunching so unprotected now n. These chlamydias got different vibes. Like they turn it into different shit. The variance is like the COVID She crazy.

[Asante]

There's nothing like sinking into luxury. At washablesofas.com, you'll find the Annabe sofa which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price. And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom. Starting at only $699. The stain resistant performance fabric slipcovers and cloud like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets or anyone who loves an easy to clean spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slipcovers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style. Whether you need a single chair, loveseat or a luxuriously large sectional, Annabe has you covered. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home. Right now you can shop up to 60% off store wide with a 30 day money back guarantee. Shop [e-mail] Add a little to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Mandy V]

Mandy, tell me how much you hate getting a fee on something. I hate it. Especially the ones that are hidden. The ones where you see there's a total and then next thing you know there's a fee at the end. Like rentals for the weekend and concert tickets. For me it's a missed payment because girl, we've been busy, okay? And honestly, every dollar counts for me. I got vacations to go on. Well, fees are everywhere and they hurt the most when you're down. And that's why Chime offers fee free banking, which means no monthly fees, no overdraft fees and no minimum balance fees. Sign up [e-mail] decisions. That's D E C I S I O N S. Okay, Can I tell you my favorite part? Forget the fee girl. Getting paid two days early. That's what I'm talking about. Up to two days early with direct deposit. Well, y' all make sure you sign up today. That's chime.com decisions c-h I m e.com decisions and the 247 customer support. It's just always so convenient considering you never know what time zone you in. It might be 3am we in the club. We need that card to work the tools. Helping me with just balance updates and letting me know where I'm at in real time. That's what I'm talking about. Open your account in two [e-mail] decisions. That's chime.com backslash decisions. Chime feels like progress.

[Asante]

Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members, FDIC Spot me Eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file fees apply. It out of network ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs according to US News and World Report. 2023 Chime checking account required.

[Mandy V]

Well, all right, this is Brianna and I'm going to go ahead and give her the update on what's happened since we gave her that advice.

[Brianna]

Hi, Mandy and Ed inside. I just listened to. I'm Brianna from Cali 27 whatever. But I was just listening to decision decisions that you chose my voicemail. But I did want to say thank you and I. We did share results after that conversation. And also, yes, he is other women. But from yes, I accidentally went through his phone one day.

[Weezy]

They.

[Brianna]

They do use condoms from what I saw. But also I have asked him for MMF threesome and he said no, but this is. That was like a while ago. But then one day I was talking like, I was talking about my ex and then he was like, he was like, show me a video of you sucking another dick. And I was like, okay, I didn't mind showing. So I did. And he just like got so off. And then he was like, I love to see you taking dick from another. I'm like, so what happened to you? Not with an mmf, but anyway, I like if he was ended up bisexual, that'd be something new to me. But I have like a fantasy situation in my head with just two whatever. But I don't know. And then also he did show me his medicine cabinet and then I went to suit. He literally showed me like opened it, showed me it and then I went. But other than that, me and him, it is a situationship. I might like him a little bit, but I don't see a future with him. I'm just. He's just something to do while there's nothing else to do. But yeah, thank you. I just wanted to say that I would leave a comment, but it's not anonymous. Thank you.

[Mandy V]

So. Oh, sorry. So this is interesting to me and I just wanted to have this conversation especially with you because clearly she's. To me, she is conflating sexuality with a sexual thing. Like, to me, maybe he enjoys being cuckled. That doesn't make.

[Weezy]

All I can think about is cuck, period.

[Mandy V]

He might be a cuck. Do you know how many n I have in my phone that love to like watch me engage with sex or do anything with other men, but never want to be in the room with another man.

[Weezy]

But does it always mean cuck though?

[Mandy V]

I mean, that's the thing. We like to put labels and things.

[Weezy]

Mean cuck though, because in my mind, I'm thinking, like, maybe he just wants to watch. Or like. Like, you know, n. Watch porn.

[Mandy V]

But also.

[Weezy]

So, like, he knows you or is familiar with you, so maybe he just, like, watches you.

[Mandy V]

But also, I won if he asked that because she said he did admit he's fucking under other women, right? And he's using a condom from what I could see, right? So I wonder if he recorded a video fucking another woman. She was able to visibly see the condom. And so now that he shared videos.

[Weezy]

From what I see, that could have.

[Mandy V]

Been from what I see.

[Weezy]

But is it from the video or is it. Is it from a text message she saw? Like, oh, the condom. I mean, it could have.

[Mandy V]

Okay, you're right.

[Weezy]

You know what I'm saying? Like, but to me, we have both the different delusional things which we filled in, which is funny. I love that.

[Mandy V]

But. But also, right, it could be now that you're aware that he's fucking other women, he may be trying to create this safe space of letting it be known. It doesn't bother him that you are out here fucking other guys.

[Weezy]

Exactly. That too.

[Mandy V]

And what that really does is make it more of what you want. You kind of like him, but you don't see it going anywhere.

[Weezy]

He's got something to do because she's saying she want a threesome with.

[Mandy V]

She wants an mmf.

[Weezy]

But he might not want that. He might just.

[Mandy V]

He might just like watching you say dick. Like, just because he likes watching you engage in sex with someone else doesn't mean he wants to engage with the men. Doesn't mean he even wants to be in the room, right? To me, you sending him a video of you sucking another. Another. Another nigga's dick. Boy, I hope the advertisers don't listen to this one. Could. Could just be the same way. He enjoys watching porn, right? And so him just visually seeing someone he's already attracted to that he knows what that mouth do. Maybe he just enjoys watching you in that porn aesthetic. Not that he want to partake in anything with you and another man, right? And clearly you have this fantasy.

[Weezy]

You need to get your own MMF fantasy off, girl.

[Mandy V]

Maybe go get that off. And maybe without him, I would say the fact that you're even saying, even if he ended up bisexual, I feel like it's kind of like.

[Weezy]

Like you trying to turn him out, girl.

[Mandy V]

Yeah, but to me, I think even if you bring up. Say this fantasy again with him, especially now that you're showing, I think one of the ways to push him away from this is to try to identify him.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy V]

Don't try to tell him what his sexuality is. And I think you trying to put that bisexual label on him could make him not interested in doing anything. Like, baby, baby steps. Y' all probably not gonna be together anyway. You said he just something to do when there's nothing to do. Maybe you just keep it as is and you just have fun with him. And like Ahsante said, find. Find two other niggas to have your MFF experience with. You know what I mean, baby, it's hard.

[Weezy]

It is.

[Mandy V]

It's hard. I've been trying.

[Weezy]

It's hard. But there are people I.

[Mandy V]

Look, baby, I've been trying you.

[Weezy]

That's why I know n. That'll be like, I know gay men. That'll be like, would it be weird for me to say, I wanna eat some pussy right now? I'm like, listen, there's some girls out there. They already be knowing what's up. They just looking for the one to be like, well, shit, as long as I can leave the next day or whatever. There are people. There's somebody for everybody, no matter how temporary the situation is, Period. Every sort of formation. So I think old girl is a freak, and she needs to be freaky deaky by her lonesome if she wants to run the conversation by old boy once more time to see if, like, hey, you trying to do this MMF thing. He like, nah. Then be like, all right, cool.

[Mandy V]

Move on, but I ain't gonna hold you. I think he just as freaky deaky. He is.

[Weezy]

But they're not connected. They're not having the right conversation to meeting each other with what they really want.

[Mandy V]

They're not. They're not. And that's obvious. I will say kudos to him for being on prep. Kudos to him for being open with even his own desires. And then what I always say, too, about us as black women, like, it's important to create that safe space. So him even saying, hey, I would be turned on by watching you suck another nigga dick creating a safe space doesn't look like trying to now label his sexuality. So you bisexual. Don't do that. Don't do that. Do you know how many niggas I done bent over and pegged and they say they are hetero straight men and I be all up in their bootle. I let them identify as straight. They could be fucking trans women. They straight let. Let people identify however they want to identify. I told y' all the story when we wrote the book. The bitch didn't want to say I was bisexual. I identified as bisexual in the book. The editor was like, you don't seem. All of your advice seems to come from a hetero like, like, like, like viewpoint. And I was like, bitch, I eat coochie. I'm bisexual. What is we talking about? Sorry that I don't date women, right? But I fuck them, you know, so anywho, that's one of the ways we as women can show up and create those safe spaces is not by sitting here trying to label what a man is sexually based on what he may be into. Let him do that.

[Weezy]

Hear, hear. Let them do it, period.

[Mandy V]

If you guys want us to give y' all advice or just read you for filth, send us your emails, decisionspodmail.com we will read it here. Or you can send us a voicemail. Mandy on the hotline over on Patreon 973-932-2022 sale and again, make sure you leave your reviews on Amazon Audiobook no holds barred. And if you get sick of hearing my voice, the Friend Zone. Where can they listen to the Friend Zone?

[Weezy]

Ahsante the Friend Zone podcast is on all streaming platforms, but if you wanna find us on social media, just come to mind and I'll send you over there. I'm Heyassante. H e y a S S a n t E and that's it for me. I usually end an episode by saying, stay black and protect your magic. So I hope you do so, Kerry.

[Mandy V]

See y' all next week. This is an I heart podcast.