Decisions, Decisions: "You've Got Decisions: Help! I'm Failing as a Bull!"

Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF (aka Andy)
Release Date: November 5, 2025
Podcast Network: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts
Theme: Non-traditional relationships, honest sex talk, and the nitty-gritty of the "bull" role in consensual non-monogamy

Episode Overview

In this candid, laughter-filled episode of "Decisions, Decisions" (a spinoff of "Horrible Decisions"), hosts Mandii B and WeezyWTF—joined by a recurring guest known as "Guy"—tackle listener stories and dilemmas around non-traditional relationships. The central story: Guy's ongoing struggles fulfilling the "bull" role for couples seeking a third in their bedroom fun. What follows is a raw, practical, and hilarious exploration of the challenges, miscommunications, and personal growth moments that come with navigating swingers’ culture in the digital age.

1. Candid Host Banter: Relationships & Tea

[01:06–09:10]

• Location Reveal: Andy and Mandii are recording in Atlanta and joke about fans tracking their moves through social media.
• Relationship Updates: Mandii discusses the difficulty of public breakups versus private timelines, referencing the delay between her actual breakup and finally discussing it publicly.
  • Quote, Mandii B [02:01]: "So we broke up two months ago. Guys. Sorry that y'all weren't able to keep up on the day to day or the month to month or the week to week on what was in my—and who was in my heart. Like, let me live."
• Story Time: Andy shares a wild New York Fashion Week story involving an awkward encounter with an ex’s new girlfriend.
  • Quote, Andy [05:44]: "Well, I knew they broke up, and I felt for her because I know he's a piece of... And I don't know what he did, but I know he did something."

Memorable Moments:

• Andy and Mandii’s banter about not wanting to "ruin the night" and the etiquette of approaching an ex’s current partner in social settings.
• Mandii laughing over not being able to keep fans updated on every twist of her love life.

2. Listener Dilemma: The Bull Who Can’t Deliver

[09:40–28:55]

The Setup

• "Guy" joins to share his story about being a “bull” (a single man brought into couples’ sexual dynamics).
• He meets couples for play via Reddit, describing the verification process for safety (checking addresses on Zillow) [10:59–12:45].
  • Quote, Guy [12:25]: "In my experience, yes. Because there's something that people try to do, especially on Reddit, where they will... send you to an address that nobody's living in. And as soon as you get there they will cut the chat and... block you."

Scene Dynamics & Communication

• Guy details the communication (or lack thereof) that led to mismatched expectations with the couple.
• He’s clear about his rule: he don’t bring drinks, only weed. "If I'm going to your house, you’re hosting." [15:08–15:29]
  • Quote, Guy [15:24]: "Yes, but I bring weed. That is my thing. I don't bring drinks, and I don't like to drink."
• Mandii B empathizes with the desire for both men to "set the scene" for a woman—but recognizes it’s about comfort zones [15:53–16:22].

The Play-by-Play: The Night Unfolds

• Description of the couple (South Indian male, white female).
• Play session: smoking weed together, setting up the PS5 (which confused Guy), and the sexual action finally starting.
• "I was fucking for like three and a half [hours]." [21:52]
• Managing expectations—Guy tries to please without climaxing; physical challenges (cramping up, not being able to finish).
  • Quote, Guy [22:25]: "I pull out. I stretch back. I got the nastiest cramp in my abs. The nastiest cramp."
  • Quote, Guy [25:12]: "I've never... usually not coming is not a problem in a big sense like this, but it was the whole thing of here."

Mustard Cures for Cramps

• Surprising tip: mustard, pickle juice, or salt helps with cramps [23:29–24:02].
  • Quote, Guy [23:35]: "Mustard, pickle juice, salt. Those are the three things. If you got a cramp, you take those and you drink some water and massage it. Your cramp will go away."
  • Mandii cracks up, saying if someone asked for mustard mid-threesome, she’d think it was a murder plot.
• Despite efforts, Guy never finishes; hosts and guest laugh about the realities and pressures of being “the bull.”

Aftermath

• The couple he played with posts for another bull days later, making Guy question his performance and fulfillment in this role.

3. Deeper Dive: Can Guy Actually Enjoy Being a Bull?

[28:27–32:28]

Is This for You?

• The hosts challenge Guy: does he actually enjoy being a bull, or just the idea/validation?
  • Quote, Andy [29:34]: "You like pleasing. But when a couple's in there, yes, it is."
• Guy's take: He derives satisfaction from pleasuring the woman, but doesn’t care much about the sex act itself.
  • Quote, Guy [28:55]: "I realized at that point sex does not matter to me. The fact I was living off the fact that she was enjoying... was doing enough for me."

Communication Problems

• Mandii urges Guy to communicate his own needs and kinks (he’s a switch, likes being directed by the husband), rather than just accommodate others’ fantasies.
  • Quote, Mandy B [30:37]: "You should be able—if it's a deal breaker, I would say that's the thing. That's not the couple for you that would come."
• Guy admits he often holds back out of fear of rejection or being left on read:
  • Quote, Guy [30:24]: "No, only because I know that can be a deal breaker for people, but."

4. Navigating the Lifestyle: Sites, Safety & Satisfaction

[32:28–36:21]

Reddit vs. Field vs. FetLife

• Reddit is hit or miss—often anonymously driven, with lots of flakiness and people only seeking “sexting.”
• Mandii and Andy recommend platforms like Field and FetLife for a more communicative, serious, and vettable pool of couples.
  • Quote, Andy [34:22]: "You’re going to end up having a better recipient on the other end. They’re going to be more experienced when it comes to these things to language... Yes, it might be work but you gonna have better sex and then people will start respecting your needs..."

Hard Truths About Compatibility

• If your needs don’t align, be ready to walk away before things get awkward or unfulfilling.
  • Quote, Mandy B [37:08]: "If you feel like you can't show up for how a couple wants you to show up, your immediate fear... needs to be okay. Because you don't need to be in a place where you're wasting your time and wasting theirs..."

Communication & Boundaries

• Older, more experienced couples tend to communicate better and make the experience more enjoyable.
• Guy reflects that better upfront clarity about desires, roles, and boundaries is essential for fulfilling play.

5. Closing Insights & Takeaways

[36:21–38:18]

Resonant Lessons:

• Know what you want, communicate early, and be comfortable with (self-)rejection for the right fit.
• The “bull” role isn’t just about stamina—it’s about honest connection, knowing your kinks, and clear boundaries.

Memorable Closing Quote:

• Guy [37:13]: "It's not only be okay with being rejected by them, but rejecting yourself from the situation. They're no longer in it. Okay, yes, I can."

Resource Reminder

• For more stories, check out the August 27th Town Hall on Patreon for a much wilder (and explicit) story from Guy.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• [02:01] Mandii B: "So we broke up two months ago. Guys. Sorry that y' all weren't able to keep up on the day to day or the month to month or the week to week on what was in my and who was in my heart. Like, let me live."
• [15:24] Guy: "Yes, but I bring weed. That is my thing. I don't bring drinks, and I don't like to drink."
• [23:35] Guy: "Mustard, pickle juice, salt. Those are the three things. If you got a cramp, you take those and you drink some water and massage it. Your cramp will go away."
• [28:55] Guy: "I realized at that point sex does not matter to me. The fact I was living off the fact that she was enjoying... was doing enough for me."
• [30:37] Mandy B: "You should be able—if it's a deal breaker, I would say that's the thing. That's not the couple for you that would come."
• [34:22] Andy: "You’re going to end up having a better recipient on the other end. They’re going to be more experienced when it comes to these things to language..."

Final Thoughts

This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in non-traditional relationships, looking for practical advice (and real talk) about swinging, or simply craving an honest, hilarious window into the realities behind racy Reddit threads. The hosts’ sharp insight, compassionate roasting, and lived experience make this conversation both educational and wildly entertaining.

Catch "You've Got Decisions" every Wednesday for more spicy stories and open-hearted advice!