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Mandy
This is an iHeart podcast.
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Mandy's Co-host
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Mandy
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Mandy
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Mandy's Co-host
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Mandy's Co-host
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Mandy
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Mandy's Co-host
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Mandy's Co-host
Welcome to another episode of Horrible Decision.
Mandy
We are back, y'.
Mandy's Co-host
All.
Mandy
It's been nice to record remotely because we can do them on time. We give you the stuff y' all niggas want. We could give you the tea, the updates.
Mandy's Co-host
I had all the little things going on.
Mandy
Child, the tea ain't even with me today. I had to ask Mandy to reschedule because my homegirl leaving a fault nigga and she said I need you to help me move out on Monday. I said okay. She said we need to do it.
Mandy's Co-host
Not her moving out on the first.
Mandy
Oh, because she want to make sure she do it before her nigga come back from Thanksgiving break.
So. Ooh, that was who I just spoke to and I said get you some sheets.
Mandy's Co-host
Wait a second.
Mandy
How bad?
Mandy's Co-host
How bad? How bad does nigga? I need to know what level of fuck nigga he is for her to be leaving before he returns because it's also given maybe abusive like what the fuck but low Key.
Mandy
This is what I asked if we could talk about. She's like, yeah, just don't say my name. So I'd say for the last six months to a year, you know when a relationship feels like it's on that end. She's felt that for a while. Okay. She had a lot of comments to me, like, fuck, I just feel like when I'm ready to make the move for myself, he doesn't let me go, and he won't let me go. Or he says something to suck me in, and I just can't free myself from it. So there's a few things that are minor but that have bothered her. They've lived together for over a year and a half, and she still doesn't have designated space in the house. There's a lot of times where he makes her feel like she's stepping over his closet or his drawers or there's too much of her around, even though she moved into his home and was invited. She says he's like, oh, my God, Hila. Like, sometimes I'll just be like, oh, well, you leave your stuff here. She's. She literally has a suitcase sometimes that she uses. It's so weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. I know. She's like. It almost became a norm to wear. Like, he's like, I'm gonna get a dresser. Oh, well, we're not gonna live in this place forever. Well, I'll get this. I'll add storage. It's weird.
The other thing, he hasn't made the initiative to take them on a vacation.
Mandy's Co-host
Okay, wait real quick, too. They've been together how long?
Mandy
About two years. She moved in after a year. Okay. So she let him know she wants to go on vacation, and basically he's like, I'll plan it, I'll plan it. I'll plan it. And it hasn't happened. They haven't been anywhere in a year. He's not broke. He's just prioritizing everything else but that he's a finance bro. And the last thing she says, that I love you isn't a common word or saying unless she feels that it's a dire need. He doesn't know how to exclusively say, I'm in love with you, I love you. Unless they're in some kind of contention or she isn't feeling well. She doesn't feel that she's getting the I love yous whenever they come over the phone or whatever. She's like, a very strange thing. It's almost like he's not into me. It's weird, it's weird, it's weird, it's weird. Now I know what she means, because when we have that feeling, it's unexplainable. And you sound crazy saying it, but you know when a nigga is supposed to be doing what they doing? I think from my judgment, he's just like, all right, well, I'm stuck in this cycle. We live together. You cook, you clean, you help me out. We're in a couple. We're going through the motions. And she feels no passion. So she finally calls me and she goes, I'm gonna do it. I feel brave enough to do it. I'm going to break up with him. I have the balls to do it. I'm gonna take my shit out before he gets home. That way he won't convince me to stay because I get really weak when he convinces me to stay. This is how sick niggas are gonna read you this.
Mandy's Co-host
I'm listening. Cause I, I, I have a thought in my head right now.
Mandy
She's had a lot of conversations with, with him, by the way, suggesting couples therapy, six, expressing her needs, telling she wants more, just. Just all kinds of shit. Just saying. It's that she feels like some things are lacking. So she sends him a message saying she wants to get on a call. He wrote back, busy. It's the holiday. Which is crazy. She was. She had to be with her family, by the way. And he could.
Mandy's Co-host
Okay, that was the part of my question, because I'm like, they spent holidays.
Mandy
Together before, but there was a. There was something going on with her family. She had to be there. So long story short, she goes, you know what? Fine. I can't do this anymore. I felt like for a long time we haven't had. We're not aligned. There's been a missing, like, judgment, incompatibility. I think we had a really, like, you know, fun romance in the first six months. And, like, it's, it's lacking.
This nigga texts her.
Letter, bitch, and this is how, you know, if he wanted to, he will. I am sitting here thinking how I cannot believe this happened, how I fucked up tremendously. I just want to let you know these are the changes that will be made immediately. I finally have things running. I'm excited to tell you I'm going to change our lives instantly. Not only will I be adding storage space, removing my things, I'll even look for a bigger condo with a terrace so we can enjoy the breakfast that you've wanted. I will Also make sure that I will be communicating this with your parents and showing them that I love you, not making them confused about your place in my life. I also want to let you know I will cut off all of the women on my Instagram like you've asked me to to truly make you feel safe. And tomorrow I will post you because I want the world to see you. I also know by the she used to have a dog. She got rid of the dog because he was allergic. I started to take allergy pills. I didn't tell you yet. You can bring him back. I already asked the doctor to get things going. I know he's part of our family. He makes you happy. Please hold off on moving things for a little bit so I can have a chance to see you in person. Bitch blocked him. Was like, oh, now he could do shit. Girl blocked his ass right now. He showed up on her mama doorstep when she flew up to New York to come get the shit. And that's how you know, the whole time she complained and he was like, I don't know what you're talking about. It's in your head. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And now you got the laundry list of shit you didn't do. This is my favorite part. And I said when she sent this to me, I said, I hope this didn't make you feel like you made the right decision or the wrong decision because now he's doing what you want. She goes, no, I mean, I did the right thing, by the way. I know you need to hear it. This is all caps. The font size at 48 point. I love you so fucking much. I don't know if I've ever been able to say this. I'll never give up on you. I know I have a problem communicating it. I'm so in love with you. I'm so sorry. I don't know how my heart couldn't say it. I will tell you, this pissed me off. I was healing from a challenging pre previous relationship which broke me making me feel like I wasn't enough for them. Maybe that's what left me lacking in this. I wish I could relive going back on our first date to tell you you are it and making you feel worthy. I am fully confident and standing tall as a man to let you know I'm here to take care of you and love you fully. You fought. I've been waiting and now not only do you want to buy me a whole new dresser drawer, you want to get a new apartment for me, but.
Mandy's Co-host
This is Also, just. Just words to. To try to. Yeah, this is manipulation at its. At its finest.
Mandy
I could not believe.
Mandy's Co-host
Y' all were watching this on video on Patreon the whole time she was reading it. Disgusted, bro.
Mandy
When I woke up and saw this, because she was getting on a plane to New York and said, I just received this. I said, I am. From the pit of my stomach, I almost felt like very nothing. Because when she said to me, he's not gonna let me leave, I see what she means, because what's going to happen? She must have tried to do something before where he was like, I'll give you what you want.
Mandy's Co-host
And I always.
Mandy
And men do this to women.
Mandy's Co-host
They do a lot.
Mandy
Like, this shit made me so sad, bro. So anyway, here's the awkward part. So my nigga got a car. So she was like, can he come help us? I'm like, sure. He's sleeping in the. In the next room because he had to be here today. And I was like, well, now that you broke up with him and he flew to your mama house, bitch, he not about to stay down south. He gonna come back to New York. So you telling me we about to see this nigga?
She's like, yeah, I don't care. So my man is like, bro, as a grown man, I can't. I can't face the face. We've been on double dates. He's like, what am I supposed to do? Just look at him in the face, be like, hey, bro. Like, this is gonna be so awkward. Mandy. So the update will come in town hall tonight.
Mandy's Co-host
I'm just like, you just got a little taste of the horrible Decisions Patreon. But why stop there? Tap in for the full, uncut, and way nastier episodes over on patreon, go to patreon.com horribledecisions and unlock all the messy tea, wild stories and bonus content. You won't hear any.
And now here's you've Got Decision.
Mandy
If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?
Mandy's Co-host
You've got Decisions. You've got Decisions.
Mandy
Welcome back, y'.
Mandy's Co-host
All.
Mandy
This is our episode every single hump day where we take your listener questions in. If you want to submit the questions, go to Decisions podcast. If you need it in a hurry, go to patreon.com backslash Horrible decisions because we prioritize the messages there and we answer y' all niggas first.
Mandy's Co-host
That's right. And this one specifically is coming from a patron and Girl, it's messy.
Mandy
Oh, I love a good mix.
Mandy's Co-host
It's messy. And also curious what you would do in this scenario. So let's get into it.
Mandy
Okay.
Mandy's Co-host
All right. So I met my man almost two years ago. He's 20, I'm 22. And now we're 22 and 24. Thanks for doing the math. He's from LA.
And I live around Dayton, Ohio. He's out here for college, but lost his basketball scholarship right before we met. So he's kind of stuck out here. His family doesn't have a lot of money, and he can't really just go back to la. Last year, we had an accident, quote, unquote.
Mandy
Oh, boy.
Mandy's Co-host
So I got an abortion.
Mandy
Okay.
Mandy's Co-host
I don't want children under any circumstances whatsoever. And we are young. Well, they're young, bitch. They're 22 and 24. He was not ready or really on the same page either.
Mandy
Okay, good.
Mandy's Co-host
At the time, I also just lost my job and had to take out a loan. And overall, we dug ourselves into a hole. Aww. He's younger than me and fresh out of college, but I don't expect him to fully financially support me yet. And I do own my house where he lives with me.
Mandy
Ooh. Come on, 24. Come on, house. Carlin Holmes.
Mandy's Co-host
This past year has been hard, but we're finally catching up with things. He gives me all of his paychecks if I ask, and he just put $2,000 down payment on a 2025 Corolla for me and got his a beater off Facebook Marketplace. So we both have cars. We were doing so well. Love each other very much. Like best friends. And. Oh, and we both eat each other's ass. Jesus Christ. Y' all are killing me.
Mandy
Love the deets.
Mandy's Co-host
You ready? Until yesterday when I got the mail and there was an envelope from child support.
Mandy
Bitch, I know you lying ho.
Mandy's Co-host
Bitch. As soon as he got home, I asked him, who the fuck is this bitch? And he said it was his exact from almost three years ago. And he knew she had a baby.
Mandy
Oh.
Mandy's Co-host
But he didn't think it was his because she was cheating on him with at least three other guys.
The paternity test isn't for almost another month, but he's nervous, but also doesn't think it's his. Girl, none of these niggas ever think the baby is theirs. Okay, girl, so here we go.
Mandy
You thought the pussy was there.
Mandy's Co-host
The kid is, like 2 years old, so I wasn't cheated on.
Mandy
Which one?
Mandy's Co-host
I still hurt. But he also didn't Know, and although I don't want kids whatsoever, it hurts me that some other girl may already have one by him.
Mandy
I get that. Cause you want to not have to do this shit together. I get that.
Mandy's Co-host
I'm very confused and obviously upset. I don't know how I should feel or what I should do in the event that the child is actually his. Can you guys give me advice on how to navigate this situation? So I guess the two questions we're answering is you not knowing how you should feel and maybe us going through that, and then how you should navigate this in the event that it's his child. Also, it's interesting because you don't want kids right now, but you're hurt because some other girl now has it with him. So there's a lot of emotions here. I think that you are in your right to feel confused, to be upset. But I think that if you love this man, he's your best friend, and y' all have gotten to a place where you're showing up in each other's lives honestly and really, like, navigating this relationship in a healthy space, I think. And this is gonna be so mature of me, and I don't know if you're mature enough at 24 to actually do this, but consider the whirlwind of emotions he's going through.
Like, bitch, the envelope just landed on his doorstep, too.
Mandy
I. I kind of agree. Cause, like.
Mandy's Co-host
Like, we don't often consider. Like, at first, I thought said child.
Mandy
Support listener that, oh, like, he knew he had his baby. Now, would I be having sleepless nights, comparing and contrasting that nigga's nose and that baby nose, like Maury? Yes. But I will tell you, if this happened to me today, and I, Genu, genuinely believed my partner wasn't lying to me, of course I would stay with him.
Mandy's Co-host
Oh, yeah. I guess that was going to be the question I was going to ask you. Like, if this, say, you know, you've been with your partner, I don't know, two years, say an ex from four years ago came and was like, this baby may be yours.
Mandy
I would hate this. I would not want it. I would, like, be, you know, angry with him, saying he's irresponsible. But I don't think I would leave him. Mainly because, okay, I would date a guy with kids 1 and 2. Even if I wouldn't, is my partner worth throwing away for a life he brought into this world before me? I wasn't cheated on. Now, the thing is, the only way that I would not want to make that decision.
Is if.
I knew I didn't want to be a stepmother. Okay, I don't like kids. If that was the case, I don't believe that. Like I have a few homegirls that just don't really vibe with kids. Teenagers maybe, but they just. It's not their thing. Okay? It's a bit unfair to date somebody with a kid and I'll tell you why.
When people are dating my friends with children and waste their time, I have a very strong opinion about that. You grown ass niggas is dating single baby mom like, you know what I'm saying? And you fine with it when y' all fucking and having a good time and then when it comes time to show up for that kid or show up and I'm not talking about six months in or some shit like that, like actually just show up as a partner dating someone with a kid, okay, I find it to be selfish. And so I think that we can't be selfish if we know we can't stand fucking kids.
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Mandy's Co-host
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Mandy
Oh oh oh. O'Reilly.
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Mandy's Co-host
Now here's my other question.
Would, is there any feelings you would have about not being the first baby mom? I think she was navigating that too. Like there's another woman who has this man's first child. But we're together. Like if that was a goal in your mind, right? Like you and your partner right now don't have kids. Neither of you. So has there been any like excitement around both of you being first time parents together? And we talk about that, all of us. That's what I'm saying. If it happened like this, that could be a potential.
Mandy
But he never got to be a parent with that baby anyway. Right? Like, okay, to me that's a different experience. Like I just saw one of my friends, her name's Akishian. She, she's a writer on Key TV too. Not the one that everybody's mad at for Southern Fried Rice, but shout out to her too. So basically she posted her man opening his birthday gift. Okay, beautiful. Like oh my God, this video. Like I screen recorded it because her page is private. And I told her, I was like this might be one of the best baby reveals I've ever seen. He opens it and he's like what? And then she's like read it. And I'm watching this grown ass man read this thing. Like, daddy, I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait for us to cuddle. We're gonna have so much fun in this world together. Da da. Da, da. And he's just like, you know, just silently crying and smiling. And I showed my boyfriend. He goes, damn, it must feel so good when you want to have a baby with someone. When you plan a pregnancy, when you talk about your life, he's like, Cause we don't get to see this shit. We see this shit when it's white people or older couples or married couples. You don't see this young, black love shit with a fucking surprise. And love.
Mandy's Co-host
I mean, I think I've talked about it maybe on Patreon, but in the last.
I would say in the last year, maybe last two years. Because now people are having babies in the last two years, I can literally name you.
Six women just with six women that all got impregnated and chose to have a baby with a man that they knew for three months or less.
So you don't know this man. You don't truly know their living situation. You don't know their lies yet. Because, bitch, you only known them for fucking three.
Mandy
Not. You don't know the lies yet.
Mandy's Co-host
Girl, you don't even know the lies yet. The lies are coming out. Why you pregnant?
Mandy
Not to mention, Mandy, you don't know them, how they're going to be. As a parent, do you know, for the first time yesterday, I'm a godmother to a new baby. His name is Zane. And Zayn came over, and Zayn also has two sisters, and they're six and two, and Zane is two months. So my homegirl's mom is on the couch with us, this little country white lady. She's really sweet. She goes. And, you know, I don't think there's anything wrong with a whooping. And I said, me neither. And my nigga looked at me, and I was like, do you? And he was like, nope. And so when they left, I was like, damn, we never talked about this before.
Mandy's Co-host
Oh, disciplining a child.
Mandy
Yeah. And we on the same page. And what's interesting is, like, we've also had conversations about people abusing their kids by whooping them too much. You know what I'm saying?
Mandy's Co-host
And I think so that I'm so.
Mandy
Glad we on the same page.
Mandy's Co-host
I think it's interesting because I think what this can do.
For the listener who wrote in.
Is actually, you've been together for two years. You live with each other. He's putting helping you with down payments for his car. Y' all are building. Y' all are both very young, 22 and 24, right? But I think something like this, the beauty in it could be it opening up to you guys having more of those hypothetical conversations. Like, if this happened, how would you respond? What would you do in this scenario? What would be the way in which you, you know, react like, this is intense.
Especially knowing that he's not the most financially sound. So that's where I wanted to go next. I think the conversation as well, not.
Mandy
That paycheck ain't yours, bitch.
Mandy's Co-host
I think the conversation should be financially, too. If this is your baby, financially, how do you plan to show up as a man? But also, I would assume as well, if this is your ex, you're in Dayton, Ohio, where he went to college and he didn't move back. This is also an ex that might.
Mandy
Still be in la, right?
Mandy's Co-host
So it's given me long distance. So are we willing to. We, as a partnership now, allow me to go back to visit my child or bring that child here? How long?
Mandy
Two months till we find out that this is Nigga's baby?
Mandy's Co-host
Actually, as of right now, two weeks. She said she'll know by December 15th.
Mandy
Fuck me in the ass.
Mandy's Co-host
So I'm actually.
Yeah, I was going to respond and be like, girl, make sure we get the update on this, because to me, I think in the next two weeks, it's weird because I'm also someone that's been working through my anxiety. And what I realized with anxiety is how much sleep you can lose and how stressed you can get over the what ifs.
Mandy
What you realize?
Mandy's Co-host
Well, to me, no, it's the what ifs.
Mandy
What's your what if?
Mandy's Co-host
Like, the what ifs are kind of what I even just suggested her to do, right? Like, if this is your baby, how do we do this? How do we do that? Where does the money go? Like. And so to me, maybe, actually, then let me rephrase that, because the anxiety will fucking kill you. Maybe just reframe what your.
Next goals look like within your own relationship with him right now.
Mandy
Yeah. I did a podcast, Unusual Suspects. Malcolm Gladwell, Kenya Barris. A woman named Ursula Burns. She was the first black woman CEO. Forbes list beat Oprah out a few years. And she talked about how her fucking husband had another baby. She said. And I sat there and I said, well, we can do two things. And I. And this. We recorded this two years ago. So it may be a little dicey, but she goes, I can either leave you.
Or we can be a family. And she talked about how much she loves her stepchild. She had been with her husband over 10 years at that point, and she's like, things happen. This is my family. I think her husband's also gone now. And she really was like. And I had a fruitful life with him. Like, unfortunately, you know, mistakes happen. And I don't want to say children are mistakes, but, shit, do things make mistakes, too? They do. You know what? I must say, there's really no other advice for us to give. I think you're probably surprised that Mandy and I said, hey, be optimistic. All we need is that update. And you need to send that update to decisionspottmail.com and when you send it, bitch, give us some detail. Cause we wanna make the whole episode about this. I want you to do this.
Mandy's Co-host
Give. Give this to us.
Mandy
I want you to tell us where you were when the results happened, the reaction. If it wasn't the sigh of relief. And also maybe what you both said to each other.
Mandy's Co-host
I mean, sigh of relief only if it ain't his. If it's.
Mandy
But if it is his. The reaction of, like, now what? Are you angry or are you comforting? What are you doing? What is he saying? Is he, like. Did he have a plan? Like, how does this go? I need to know. Bitch, do the baby mama call your ass. Send us the baby and him with a little. Take the layout story on Instagram, save it, and just send it to me because I need to see it. And that's it. Jesus.
Mandy's Co-host
All right, send it on over to decisionspotmail.com, y'.
Mandy
All.
Mandy's Co-host
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Mandy
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Mandy's Co-host
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Podcast: Decisions, Decisions
Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF
Release Date: December 10, 2025
In this candid and engaging episode, Mandii B and WeezyWTF dive deep into the emotional complexities of modern relationships, focusing on the challenges that arise when non-traditional relationship dynamics clash with personal boundaries and expectations. The episode is divided into two major segments: a personal story about a friend’s difficult breakup, and a listener question about finding out a partner may have fathered a child with an ex. Through humor, vulnerability, and unfiltered real talk, the hosts dissect these situations, offering both empathy and practical advice.
"If he wanted to, he will... I am sitting here thinking how I cannot believe this happened, how I fucked up tremendously. I just want to let you know these are the changes that will be made immediately..." – Mandii, reading boyfriend’s message (08:40)
"I would hate this. I would not want it. I'd be angry with him... but I don't think I would leave him. Mainly because, okay, I would date a guy with kids. Is my partner worth throwing away for a life he brought into this world before me?" – Mandii (18:42)
"The anxiety will fucking kill you. Maybe just reframe what your next goals look like within your own relationship with him right now." – Mandy’s co-host (28:52)
| Time | Segment Description | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------| | 03:42 | Friend's breakup story; emotional neglect | | 06:05 | Patterns of relationship dissatisfaction | | 08:40 | Manipulative 'grand gestures' post-breakup | | 11:03 | Hosts dissect manipulation, gender dynamics | | 13:22 | Listener letter: “He Might Have a Baby!” | | 16:23 | Hosts break down complex feelings, advice | | 18:42 | Staying or leaving if partner has a surprise child| | 19:13 | Step-parenting, fairness to children | | 23:01 | Shared “firsts” in relationships/parenting | | 27:08 | Financial realities of surprise parenthood | | 28:52 | Anxiety and communication advice; wrap up | | 28:57 | Ursula Burns anecdote on family choices | | 30:25 | Request for listener update, next steps |
True to the "Decisions, Decisions" brand, the episode is rooted in unflinching authenticity, humor, and real talk. Mandii and Weezy balance vulnerability with tough love, pushing listeners to confront difficult truths, prioritize self-respect, and make relationship choices in alignment with their values and boundaries.
The hosts end by urging the listener to send in an update with all the messy details—no matter the outcome—demonstrating their commitment to a supportive, ongoing conversation about love, accountability, and modern partnership. They reiterate the value of honest communication, mutual respect, and not letting anxiety dictate actions, especially in ambiguous or difficult circumstances.
To sum up:
This episode is a masterclass in navigating love dilemmas. The hosts remind listeners that even when you’re trained to be “mature,” feelings will always be valid, and approaching every crossroads with honesty and self-awareness is key.