You've Got Decisions: I Feel Guilty For Ending My TOXIC Relationship

Summary

Decisions, Decisions: Episode Summary – "You've Got Decisions: I Feel Guilty For Ending My TOXIC Relationship"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Decisions, Decisions
• Hosts/Authors: Mandii B and WeezyWTF, produced by The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts
• Description: "Decisions, Decisions" delves into non-traditional relationships, challenging societal norms around dating, sex, and love with humor, vulnerability, and authenticity. Hosts Mandii B and WeezyWTF navigate their 30s, sharing personal journeys and engaging in candid discussions to reshape understanding of modern relationships.

Episode Overview: Released on April 30, 2025, this episode centers on a listener seeking advice after ending a toxic relationship. Mandii and WeezyWTF explore the complexities of breaking free from unhealthy dynamics, addressing feelings of guilt and the challenges of moving forward.

---

1. Listener's Story: Breaking Free from a Toxic Relationship

Timestamp: [03:39] – [09:27]

The episode begins with Mandii introducing a heartfelt message from a listener who grapples with guilt after ending a tumultuous relationship. The listener recounts her eight-year-old relationship, highlighting patterns of manipulation and deceit:

• Backstory: At 26, she entered a passionate but intense relationship with a 25-year-old man. The connection was immediate, but she overlooked red flags, only to discover he was married during their time together.

• Attempted Reconciliation: After their initial breakup, the ex returned, presenting a façade of change—complete divorce and a new home—promising a fresh start. Despite her reservations, she gave the relationship another chance.

• Recurring Drama: The reconciliation was fraught with instability. Instances included his emotional withdrawal during visits, continued entanglement with his ex-wife, and erratic behavior fueled by excessive drinking.

• Final Breakup: A particularly volatile argument, fueled by alcohol, led her to definitively end the relationship, citing mutual toxicity.

Listener's Question: "Now that it's over, I feel guilty with how things ended. Am I crazy to think I should apologize for how it ended? Or is this my emotions just using it to have an excuse to go back into the drama of this relationship?"
[Timestamp: 09:04]

---

2. Hosts' Response: Addressing Guilt and Self-Worth

Timestamp: [09:27] – [17:25]

Mandii B and WeezyWTF delve into the listener's predicament, emphasizing the importance of recognizing self-worth and not succumbing to toxic relationship cycles.

• WeezyWTF's Immediate Reaction:

  • "Yes, you are sorry. You should be sorry that you wrote us this shit and you knew the answer was no."
    [09:27]
    Weezy criticizes the listener for seeking validation to return to the toxic relationship, reinforcing that the decision to end it was correct.

• Discussion on Self-Worth:

  • Mandii connects the situation to themes in their forthcoming book, highlighting how individuals often stay in unsatisfactory relationships due to low self-esteem.

  • "I think we have to be able to realize our draw and attachment to toxic, drama-filled relationships."
    [10:12]

• Affirmations and Personal Growth:

  • The hosts advocate for self-affirmations as tools for healing and building self-worth.

  • "I am enough. I am perfect just the way I am."
    [16:06]

  • "My past does not define me. I can redefine my story, starting here and now."
    [16:05]

• Encouraging New Relationships:

  • Weezy advises the listener to seek new relationships rather than revisiting the toxic one.

  • "You really need to date other people. You have to think about what you just did. You wrote into a podcast that you knew."
    [10:40]

  • Mandii reinforces the need for the listener to believe she deserves better and to seek relationships that offer genuine love and respect.

---

3. Practical Advice and Empowerment

Timestamp: [17:25] – [18:47]

The hosts provide actionable steps to help the listener move forward:

• Daily Affirmations:

  • Implementing affirmations through post-it notes, phone alarms, or other visible reminders to reinforce self-worth.

  • "Make it a 3:02pm Literally you think it's your alarm ringing and phone going off. And it's literally a fucking word of affirmation."
    [17:02]

• Homework Assignment:

  • Weezy humorously suggests a "30-day calendar" to encourage the listener to date new people and continue personal growth.

  • "We're going to give you a 30 day calendar even though there's 31 days in May... You have 30 days to get a new dick inside of you."
    [18:24]

• Blocking and Moving On:

  • Mandii emphasizes the importance of cutting off contact to prevent falling back into the toxic cycle.

  • "Just cut the off, hit block and never on block."
    [18:36]

---

4. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Timestamp: [18:47] – [19:20]

Mandii and Weezy wrap up the episode by reiterating their commitment to helping listeners navigate complex relationship issues. They promote their upcoming book and tour, encouraging listeners to engage with their content for further support and insights.

• Promoting Resources:

  • Announcement of their book, "No Holds Barred: The Dual Manifesto of Sexual Exploration and Power," and the NHB tour.

• Closing Remarks:

  • Encouragement to connect via email for future questions and discussions.

---

Key Takeaways:

• Recognize Toxic Patterns: Understanding the signs of a toxic relationship is crucial for emotional well-being.

• Embrace Self-Worth: Building self-esteem through affirmations and self-reflection empowers individuals to make healthier relationship choices.

• Avoid Repeating Cycles: Prioritize moving forward and seeking new, positive relationships over returning to past toxic ones.

• Practical Steps: Implementing daily affirmations and cutting off harmful connections can facilitate healing and personal growth.

---

Notable Quotes:

• "I am enough. I am perfect just the way I am." – WeezyWTF [16:06]
• "My past does not define me. I can redefine my story, starting here and now." – WeezyWTF [16:05]
• "You really need to date other people... You have to think about what you just did." – WeezyWTF [10:40]
• "Make it a 3:02pm Literally you think it's your alarm ringing and phone going off." – WeezyWTF [17:02]
• "Just cut the off, hit block and never on block." – Mandii B [18:36]

---

Final Thoughts: In this emotionally charged episode, Mandii B and WeezyWTF provide compassionate yet firm guidance to a listener struggling with guilt after ending a toxic relationship. Through candid discussion and practical advice, they emphasize the importance of self-worth, the necessity of breaking free from harmful patterns, and the empowerment that comes from making decisive, healthy choices in love and life.

For more insights and support, listeners are encouraged to follow the podcast, explore their upcoming book, and attend their NHB tour from July to September.

Transcript

[Dutch Representative]

Time is precious, and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[Weezy]

If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?

[Mandy]

You've got decisions. You've got decisions. Wait, I don't know if I sound like her. Wait.

[Weezy]

No, no. What was.

[Mandy]

No. No.

[Weezy]

It's a man. You got mail.

[Mandy]

Yeah, but Siri is a woman. But Siri never said she's a woman. You've got decisions. Okay. No. Damn. All right. Anyway, go ahead.

[Ed]

What?

[Mandy]

Before we get started with this week's you got decisions, y'all, we want to let you know if you haven't yet to go ahead and pre order our book, no holds bar the dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. You. If you want to see our pages come to life. We have also announced that we are on tour, baby. Starting in July. Head over to NHB tour.com to get your tickets, your book, your VIP. Just buy everything that you see that is available for purchase.

[Weezy]

I now that we have some copies that we're sharing with press influencers, et cetera. My only friend that's reading it right now is Brianda, and she was on the train. She goes, oh, my God, I just passed a masturbation YETI thing.

[Ed]

Wow.

[Mandy]

I'm reading and I'm like, y.

[Weezy]

She's like, it's too wordy. Like, it's so weird because I know we haven't been through this yet, Ed, and you need to read it, but having. Have any of your friends read it yet?

[Mandy]

I actually just gave Kiki Drea and Killa our copies. Yeah. Because I recorded with them. And then I asked Shan for her address to get it to her. Like, I'm working on getting into people's hands. I gave it to Brick.

[Weezy]

Do I read? So when she started talking about it, I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. My boyfriend's also reading it. And, like, even the chapter where he's in it a little bit, he was like, I remember this in the first edit, nigga. Yes, you did.

[Mandy]

I'm not gonna Lie reading the book. So y'all may not know our book was 90,000 plus words. We only needed it to be 60 to 65. So I didn't realize until we started reading it for the audiobook how much of my motherfucker story is cut out.

[Weezy]

Pick a number. And you pick a number.

[Mandy]

What?

[Weezy]

A number. Just give me a number.

[Ed]

4,000. No, I'm kidding. 30.

[Weezy]

Okay, let's see. Let's see a word from 30. Oh, it's wheezies. She kept pulling me by my waist to sit on her face, but I really just wanted to concentrate on the moment instead.

[Ed]

I should know how to pick it.

[Mandy]

Mandy, pick a number up to 245. The fuck, bitch.

[Weezy]

Almost know what's on here.

[Mandy]

No, I don't.

[Weezy]

Oh, look, it's Wheezy's chapter again.

[Mandy]

And look at the words that pop out. You fucking whore. So make sure you purchase your book. No holds barred. Available wherever you get.

[Weezy]

Ooh, we should play that game every episode.

[Mandy]

I'm not mad at that. All right, y'all. So this one's kind of lengthy, but I love that she gave us backstory so that we could help her just a little bit.

[Weezy]

She love it. I get lost when y'all do too much.

[Mandy]

Here we go. Well, it's broken down in a paragraph, so I'll pause a little bit. The way I've been reading, like, I feel like I could do a good job.

[Weezy]

All right.

[Mandy]

Hey, Mandy. Oui? I just wanted to say I randomly found your pod four years ago, and I've been so grateful to have a space to listen to women that get the 100% quote unquote traditional life, both sex and relationship, that it may not be for everyone. Here we go. With that being said, I need your advice. About four months ago, my ex, who I had a bad breakup, turbulent relationship with, came back around. Like many men before him, he sang the same song. I wanna come back and do right by you. I changed, and I'm ready to be the man you deserve now. This is not the first time I've heard this from an ex. I just honestly never expected to hear it from him. Backstory to this relationship. About eight years ago, I was 26 and he was 25. We were together for a year and a half when I lived in another city. We instantly connected and got hot and heavy quickly because the relationship was so intense. I looked past a lot of things that didn't make sense. Boy, don't we all? Well, turns out he was married the entire relationship. Long story. Short. We broke up after I found proof and dared him to come to me with his divorce decree and prove me wrong.

[Weezy]

How did he not know?

[Mandy]

I told y'all about the story, but my friend pulled up to the house.

[Weezy]

Oh, wait, wait. Yeah, that's right.

[Mandy]

Obviously he never showed up. So when he popped back up, I was curious and immediately asked if he was single. He forwarded me the link to the state that shows the decree for his divorce, and we. We basically had the closure I secretly always wanted. From there, we kept talking and started to see each other again. But things would happen that caused some sort of drama. Like when he came to visit me in Houston for a weekend and immediately pulled away emotionally after he left back to his city. Then it was revealed that he in fact still lived with his new ex, not ex, wife, in a house that he had rented for them before they broke up. I ended up breaking things off because I saw a repeat of last time and decided enough was enough. Well, of course, after I cut him off, he returned several weeks later.

[Weezy]

Bitch, bitch. You returned.

[Mandy]

You allowed him to return.

[Weezy]

He came back. You let him.

[Mandy]

You.

[Weezy]

Did anyone see Sinners? You invited him in, Andy.

[Mandy]

This time, out of the house he rented from his ex, completely broken up. And in a new house he. He bought all on his own to show that he was 100% ready to start something with me on a clean slate. It felt nice to be pursued. And I started to think maybe we finally had a chance to do it right. What could possibly be in our way now? Well, earlier last week, he asked me to come spend the weekend with him in his new home so we could see what a weekend at home looks like with us after all these years apart. I asked multiple times if he was sure, and he said, yes, I want you here. Well, later in the week, he had several blow ups with his ex about several items he had left in their home. This caused him to lash out and drink very heavily during the week, which he claims he doesn't do, but shocker, he does. So I kept asking, are you sure you want me there this weekend? And the response was, yes, I want you here. Well, the Thursday before I was supposed to leave, we were talking on the phone and I told him I'd leave at a certain time to get to his place. He then proceeded to tell me, I've been in a bad place mentally and been drunk all week. Bitch, you. This is like a culmination of all my niggas. And I know I tried to do that word in another episode, but no I'm thinking of.

[Weezy]

What was the word? Agglomination.

[Mandy]

Agglomination.

[Weezy]

That was Right. But we couldn't figure it out. Me, you, and another woman. We were.

[Mandy]

He said one of the episodes. Agglomination.

[Weezy]

When did you learn this?

[Mandy]

Because you said I still didn't learn it. Goddammit. He said, I've been in a bad place mentally and been drunk all week. I shouldn't have invited you when I told you yes to come. I need some mental health days.

[Weezy]

I'm tired.

[Mandy]

This is not the first time he's. He's used this in the past few months to cancel things. So I said okay and told him the next time, just tell me the truth and not tell me what I want to hear. Because I moved a lot of things around from the weekend and arranged animal care to spend time with him. What animal care? I instead of babysitters, bitch. She said, I am a pet mother. He apologized and we kind of left it at that. Here we go with the question. Friday rolls around, I go out and have fun with my friends because I wanted to keep myself occupied while he had his quote unquote, mental health time. The few times I text him, he gave me attitude like, oh, is that the thing you had to cancel because of me? And things like that. So when I got drunk later that night, we argued. I blacked out towards the beginning of the argument, so I don't remember how it started. Oh, bitches. With accountability. But I remember it ended with us yelling on the phone, me breaking a jar in my house and my friends arguing with him because he kept calling while I was crying and him laughing, saying that I was being ridiculous. I woke up the next morning trying to find out what started the fight for my friends, but they didn't know. I tried to remember, but couldn't. But couldn't. But I woke up knowing what had happened the night before was not good for either of us. So I called him immediately, left a voicemail calling time of death on this relationship, saying we couldn't get it right at all at this point. And we were hurting each other with toxicity.

[Weezy]

I don't even know what the question could be.

[Mandy]

Here we go. Now that it's over, I feel guilty with how things ended. Am I crazy to think I should apologize with how things ended? Or is this my emotions just using it to have an excuse to go back into the drama of this relationships. Of this relationship. Thanks for the advice. Sorry. This was long.

[Weezy]

Yes, you are sorry. You should be sorry that you wrote us this shit and you knew the answer was no.

[Ed]

No is also a word.

[Mandy]

Wow. Here's the thing. And it reminds me of one of the chapters in the book. It does.

[Ed]

Why are you laughing?

[Mandy]

No self worth, bitch. Because I call myself out.

[Weezy]

God damn it, bro, you have water right here.

[Mandy]

It reminds me of the fact that you think you deserve goddamn crumbs because that's all this is giving you.

[Weezy]

I had to get my handler because Mandy said, I'm going to take this opportunity to say, by the book, you are chapter seven.

[Mandy]

No, it is a reminder that a lot of people deserve the treatment of relationships that they get into because they don't believe that they deserve better themselves. So the fact that you now feel like you're in the wrong because you blacked out, couldn't remember this. I think we have to be able to realize our draw and attachment to toxic, drama filled relationships.

[Weezy]

You know what I think this issue is?

[Mandy]

What?

[Weezy]

I think this is a big I. A big example of what happens when you put all of your eggs in one basket. I already could tell from how you talking. You ain't got no other niggas on your line. And the problem, period, not saying that you aren't a baddie, that you're not interesting or beautiful. You just don't want to do it. We hyper focus on one man. A lot of us want a relationship so bad. This is no shame. I also am someone that is always looking for love. I'm a lover girl, I'm an emojo. But when you hyper focus on one person that isn't giving you the things that if you could write on a list of the things you want for yourself, for your friends, for anybody you care about, it wouldn't be this person. And yet still continue. You got to think about what you just did. You wrote into a podcast that you knew.

[Mandy]

Can you stop telling me they gonna stop writing into it? You be killing people. I know.

[Weezy]

You know, it ain't no way me and Mandy's gonna be like, yeah, go say sorry.

[Ed]

But maybe they need to hear it. I mean, that's kind of what it is right now.

[Weezy]

And if you can't afford therapy, great. Glad we're here. We'll do it again. If you want to write another novel.

[Ed]

They can afford the $20 a month.

[Weezy]

Well, also, it's not even the affording therapy sometimes. What it really is, in my opinion is I don't want to be checked. Sometimes therapy is just holding the mirror up of like, I don't know, like I've said on this podcast, Before I had to stop therapy sometimes because I think it did more bad than good. There's moments where I was, like, a little too much for me. I think even the point where you were like. Where he was like, you're acting ridiculous. When you were crying, I was kind of agreeing. Only because I think sometimes maybe he's made you so mad, you start spiraling.

[Mandy]

How's Nana? And we arguing and you arguing back. Don't call me ridiculous with your gaslighting. Was married, moved in with another bitch, and now coming back to me. Motherfucking ass. That's a gaslighting tactic.

[Weezy]

I just think it's ridiculous that she back.

[Mandy]

Yeah, but we're both arguing. She's not back yet. She claims that she. She's asking if she would be ridiculous to apologize and go back. So she's not back yet. I would say I agree with you, Weezy, in the fact that she may not have other nurses on the line, which is why she finds herself coming here. However, you and I both have had niggas that we talked about on this podcast that did us wrong, that fucked us over, and we kept going back for certain times at a time, unfortunately, and I don't. I assume she's our age now. She said the relationship was eight years ago, when they were 25, 26. That means she's our age. That means bitch getting together. You 34, 35 years old.

[Weezy]

I'll be honest. Yes. Going back and forth to niggas is normal.

[Mandy]

Is normal at the point that you made it.

[Weezy]

It's not. Because you know what? We all have the big one. I think everybody in their relationship can pinpoint the big moment where they said, you know what? I'm not doing this shit anymore. I have one. You may have one.

[Mandy]

And, bitch, I got two or three or four or fifth. 11.

[Weezy]

Okay, so this may be her fifth, 11th. So what I'm going to tell you, girl, is you really need to date other people. I also want to be a better man.

[Mandy]

There are.

[Weezy]

You're dating a better man. Of course there are.

[Mandy]

No, there are. But finding them gets a little difficult.

[Weezy]

Have fun while you find it get a little difficult.

[Mandy]

I don't want to be a hypocrite because literally at the end of last year, I talked about wanting to revisit somebody from my past, and I thought there was gonna be a different nigga this time than every other time he was before. And I literally talked about this on the podcast just for him to literally be the person that didn't. Who I was. At 34, it Listen, got him and did so to me, knowing that you dated this person at 25, 26 years old, knowing that you're eight years older, I want you to believe that you have grown enough to not deal with the bullshit that this nigga is giving you today. Not only is he leading you on, it seems like y'all also don't live in the same city. So the fact that he's playing with your time, your money, and all those things eight years later makes me feel like he's that same nigga that was playing with you when he was married.

[Ed]

Ok, so let me ask you something then, right?

[Mandy]

Yeah.

[Ed]

They figure out it's the same as some Scooby Doo type shit. They take out the masses.

[Mandy]

And it's a nigga that they.

[Ed]

Same old man Jenkins. Right. All right, so where do you move on from there?

[Mandy]

You have to. And I don't want to just say go to therapy. It has to be to where a woman. And I hate cold A motherfucker. R. Kelly.

[Ed]

No, hold on. I was going to say let's go.

[Weezy]

But no one else.

[Mandy]

Getting a woman sped up. It ain't nothing you can do about nothing you can do. She has to be fed up for herself. Her friends ain't gonna be able to tell her to move on. Bitch, the audience couldn't tell me to move on when I should have moved on. The parents ain't gonna be able to tell her to move on. Her pussy not gonna be able to tell her to move on until she physically understands her value, her worth, and that there is better out there. Unfortunately, the universe, however, God wanted to play because we ate that apple and the Eden, the garden of Edith, he made it to where we be dumb as fuck for these niggas. And so, unfortunately, I have no advice to give her because she not going to be able to move on until she genuinely believes she deserves better, she deserves more, and that someone on this earth can show up as that squeeze.

[Ed]

He pulling up a verse.

[Weezy]

I am pulling up Mandy Corinthians 1, verse 2.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

I am enough. I am perfect just the way I am.

[Mandy]

Come on. I love myself.

[Ed]

Right?

[Weezy]

Listen.

[Mandy]

Affirmations.

[Weezy]

That's right. Wait, there's another1 on 204. That's a good one. My past does not define me. I can redefine my story, starting here and now and buy the book. Ladies and gentlemen.

[Ed]

There you go.

[Mandy]

No dead ass. I'm not gonna hold you.

[Weezy]

She said there's a chapter on this. It's about teleport.

[Mandy]

Being Mary Jane, she used to put post it notes all over her house. And whether you have them as your notes in your iPhone or you need post it notes or you need something every morning, if it's like something that where you go brush your teeth, I think that it's very important that somewhere you're able to affirm yourself. So whether you need to visibly see it, whether you need to recite it to yourself, I think that alarms like.

[Weezy]

Having the practice having a phone alarm.

[Mandy]

That's a good one.

[Weezy]

Yeah, bitch.

[Mandy]

Just in the middle of the day. Make it a 3:02pm Literally you think it's your alarm ringing and phone going off. And it's literally a fucking word of affirmation. I think it's important to affirm yourself that you deserve better. That you deserve the whole goddamn cake, not a crumb. And you deserve that. You and you believe that you deserve the love that is awaiting you on the other side of this.

[Weezy]

May the next man pay for your animal care. Because I'll tell you right now, my baby J.

[Mandy]

Are you doing this, lady pimp?

[Ed]

That's not saving. But that's church to me.

[Weezy]

But it is Delta Blue.

[Ed]

That's crazy.

[Weezy]

That's my new personality.

[Mandy]

Yeah. From the cotton fields.

[Ed]

I'm your child. Go to church.

[Weezy]

I really do want you to find better, sis. And I know it's up because I feel like a solo trip ain't gonna help. You really need other dick, period.

[Ed]

You do.

[Mandy]

And so you've got decisions to get other dick. That is our advice, Mandy.

[Weezy]

And I'm gonna give you homework. I don't want to.

[Mandy]

Come on now.

[Weezy]

I didn't take a guess.

[Mandy]

Tell us. It actually goes out on Monday. Okay. Or Wednesday. I'm sorry. Yeah, Wednesday.

[Weezy]

So soonish May is starting in about 48 hours for you, sis.

[Ed]

Word.

[Weezy]

What you're gonna do is we're going to give you a 30 day calendar even though there's 31 days in May. I don't care. You have 30 days to get a new dick inside of you. And you have 30 days to write us another goddamn.

[Ed]

You really only need one.

[Mandy]

Thank you. Just cut the off, hit block and never on block. Cuz y'all will be blocking.

[Ed]

Let me know if you are. I might have some people.

[Mandy]

Oh, Ed said he got some dick for you.

[Weezy]

He said.

[Mandy]

Anyways, if you want us to read your questions, make sure you email us decisionspod Gmail.com. thank you guys so very much. Again, make sure you hit up NHB tour.com and get your tour tickets. We are touring from July to September, and we can't wait for y'all to see no holds barred go from the pages to the stages. Wow. You like that, huh? Yeah. Anyways, thank you, guys.

[Weezy]

Bye.

[Mandy]

And.