You've Got Decisions: My BF Wants Me to Unfollow Every Man on IG

Summary

Podcast Summary: "You've Got Decisions: My BF Wants Me to Unfollow Every Man on IG"

Decisions, Decisions is a thought-provoking podcast hosted by Mandii B and WeezyWTF, produced by The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts. In the episode titled "You've Got Decisions: My BF Wants Me to Unfollow Every Man on IG," released on June 18, 2025, Mandii and Weezy delve into the complexities of controlling behavior in modern relationships, particularly focusing on social media boundaries.

Listener's Dilemma: A Controlling Partner

The episode centers around a listener's heartfelt letter detailing her concerns about her boyfriend's request for her to unfollow every man on Instagram. The listener explains:

"[...] he says he wants me to unfollow every single man except for family on Instagram. This feels like a lot. And it's rubbing me the wrong way because it's not like I'm going to cheat. It just seems very insecure and controlling to me." ([01:51])

She highlights the long history with her boyfriend, having known each other since childhood, and expresses confusion over his sudden demand for stringent social media restrictions.

Hosts' Immediate Reactions

Mandii and Weezy immediately empathize with the listener's predicament, recognizing the controlling nature of the boyfriend's request. Mandii shares her experiences with similar situations, stating:

"Every single time I tell them they sound ridiculous. [...] what's going to end up happening is you're gonna have a job and you're gonna work with some men and you're gonna end up growing, networking." ([03:01])

Weezy concurs, suggesting that the boyfriend's behavior indicates deeper insecurities:

"Maybe this is something more suitable as a friendship. [...] maybe this is why he has a lot of things he has to work through." ([03:50])

Social Media Boundaries in Relationships

The discussion shifts to the broader topic of social media boundaries. The hosts question the rationale behind demanding the unfollowing of men on Instagram, emphasizing the impracticality and unrealistic nature of such restrictions in daily life. Mandii points out:

"What am I supposed to do if we realistically can't follow the opposite sex in order to make our partner feel comfortable?" ([09:02])

They argue that social interactions with the opposite sex are a natural part of life and that attempting to eliminate them can lead to unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Identifying Red Flags and Controlling Behavior

Mandii and Weezy identify the boyfriend's request as a significant red flag, indicative of controlling and insecure behavior. Weezy advises:

"If you're in a relationship with someone that you're going to trust because the girl now can't navigate Instagram because she met you on There." ([19:16])

They stress that such behavior is not just about social media but reflects deeper issues of trust and control that can escalate over time.

Navigating Compromises and Knowing When to Leave

The hosts explore potential compromises but ultimately caution against them in cases of controlling behavior. Weezy suggests that offering transparency, like sharing passwords, can be a temporary fix but warns that it doesn't address the root of the problem:

"But the point is that girl found a way to double the phone. [...] If you have to go to the lengths of doubling your phone and leaving it at home, like, just leave whoever." ([12:01])

Mandii reinforces the idea that setting firm boundaries is crucial and that tolerating such behavior can lead to further emotional harm:

"I would push back and literally use that example of let's talk about where this comes from. Have a mature conversation." ([14:10])

Final Advice: Prioritizing Self-Worth and Moving On

In their concluding remarks, Mandii and Weezy firmly advise the listener to end the relationship. They emphasize the importance of recognizing one's self-worth and not settling for controlling partners:

"The final message of this shit is, girl, just leave him. Leave him and get you a new one." ([24:25])

They encourage listeners to prioritize their happiness and well-being over maintaining a relationship fraught with jealousy and control.

Key Takeaways

• Control and Insecurity: Demanding the unfollowing of all men on social media is a significant red flag indicating controlling and insecure behavior.

• Healthy Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries on social media is essential for a balanced and trusting relationship.

• Self-Worth: Recognizing one's self-worth and not tolerating controlling behavior is crucial for personal well-being.

• When to Leave: Persistent controlling behavior, especially regarding social media, often necessitates ending the relationship to avoid further emotional harm.

Notable Quotes

• "You've got decisions. I'm gonna take a line from our good friends..." ([00:54])
• "This is a very strange thing to remove all of the opposite sex from something that's a social media account." ([09:24])
• "If you have nothing to hide, could that not be a solution to make him feel more comfortable?" ([09:41])
• "But that's what I'm saying. No, no, no, no. I'm including the details that if she has used Instagram to find partners in dick, then she is using it as a platform to meet partners." ([20:57])

Conclusion

In this episode, Decisions, Decisions provides insightful commentary on the challenges of navigating modern relationships amidst social media influences. Mandii and Weezy offer candid advice, encouraging listeners to recognize the signs of controlling behavior and to prioritize their emotional health by setting boundaries or choosing to leave toxic relationships.

Transcript

[Mandy]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Weezy]

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[Mandy]

If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what? You've got decisions.

[Weezy]

You've got decisions. I've got decisions. We've got decisions.

[Mandy]

Happy hump day. As you know, this is our second feed drop. We are so glad you're back again. If you want to see what our faces look like, if you want to see the video, and if you don't want ads, all you got to do is go to patreon.com backslash horrible decisions and you can see how sexy Mandy and I are in our house clothes.

[Weezy]

That's right. And if you want us to answer your questions, go on ahead and send us your question to decisionspodmail. Com. We will read it off to you. Or if you're a patron, go ahead and send that because as y' all know, patrons have priority over here, hon. Anyways, by this topic this week, it sounds like we are literally speaking to an insecure man. What are the odds?

[Mandy]

Oh no, not again.

[Weezy]

Jesus. Our our letter this week. The subject line says boyfriend wants me to unfollow all men on ig. Here we go. Hi. I have been seeing this guy since October of 2024 and we have known each other since we were 11 years old. We are 24 now. There was always tension with this guy and we always flirted and and sometimes dated, but never to the point of a real relationship. Like now, now that he's my boyfriend, he says he wants me to unfollow every single man except for family on Instagram. This feels like a lot. And it's rubbing me the wrong way because it's not like I'm going to cheat. It just seems very insecure and controlling to me. He'll probably think I'm cheating and stuff and if I tell him I'm not going to do that. What do you guys think? What should I do? By the way, he doesn't follow any women on Instagram and is private. I am also private and don't hide anything from him. Thank you. Love the show, by the way.

[Mandy]

Well, I've been through so many things with my homegirls wanting their boyfriends to unfollow women, and every single time I tell them they sound ridiculous. The only thing I can empathize with is if you've dated these dudes, I understand someone maybe not wanting you to follow and keep up with and, like, have conversations with someone you used to fuck. I get that. Even though that's not what I think is healthy, I feel really sorry for you because this is only step one in your new relationship. And what's ended up gonna happen. Like, what's gonna end up happening is you're gonna have a job and you're gonna work with some men and you're gonna end up growing, networking. You could be young and in school with different men. Like, men are gonna cross your path. What does this nigga expect you to do? Put your head down.

[Weezy]

I'm gonna take. I'm gonna take a line from our good friends over at the Read, Shout out to Crystal and Fury, Girl, break up with him. Maybe this is something more suitable as a friendship. Y' all have known each other since you were 11. You guys have flirted but never dated into a real relationship. And baby girl, maybe this is why. He has a lot of things he has to work through. And to me, I'll be honest with you, okay, look at me about to put something on him. I was about to say, I think that nigga got offensive, but maybe that's giving him too much credit. I know so many guys that. That have finsta accounts to literally follow women to, like, engage with women. I wouldn't doubt if there's a way that he's still scrolling that way, or maybe that's just not what he likes to do.

[Mandy]

I mean, I guess, like, the thing is, what is this? Okay, Is it men that, you know? Like, what is the point? Because to me, with the finsa, first.

[Weezy]

Of all, I don't know, I'm saying maybe, maybe he has a finster.

[Mandy]

Like, get it?

[Weezy]

He doesn't follow any women at all. And for me, if. If he is also the type of.

[Mandy]

Guy I use for style and food. Like, literally, because I follow maybe 2000 food pages, you know, like, my whole algorithm got up and I was like, oh, I need to put this in streamline. Literally, it's for food. It's a blank thing with numbers.

[Weezy]

So maybe he got for.

[Mandy]

And I think he does. Like, yeah, like my nigga don't have Instagram, but he still be sending me memes because he likes to use the app but doesn't like to build the profile. So I think there's this thing that can semi be phony. And I'll tell you this, I have a few friends that don't have Instagram profiles, but they like to use the app. Me with TikTok, I don't make TikToks. I don't have a TikTok profile. Maybe I do, I don't know. But I've never used it. I just use it as a search engine and a lot of people use that for all social media platforms. So I think he's probably trying to act like he's some sort of, oh, I don't do xyz, nigga, you do it somewhere, cuz. How the fuck you was on my dick about it? I think that the purpose of Instagram for most people is to have fun, to engage with friends. I think a lot of single people and some people that are in relationships sure like to flirt on ig, but it's the fear and the insecurity of it, like, what the fuck happened to this that you can't follow a man. I think that's really weird shit.

[Weezy]

I mean, I think it's also weird if he is a man who doesn't have any female friendships. I think for me, it's very telling. For a guy who can't have platonic relationships with women for whatever reason, I think that's a red flag. And for me, you say in this email, you. It just seems very insecure and controlling to me. I want to tell you now, nobody seeks out an insecure or. Or controlling partner. You've been with this man Since October of 2024, which means you just now maybe hitting the eight month mark, I would say go ahead and maybe turn this back into the friendship that it's been since Y' all were 11 years old. This is not the person for you. And I think that we as women have to be in positions where when we see the red flags, we go ahead and say, I'm wasting my time. This isn't my battle to fight. And let me tell you right now, an insecure man will only get more insecure if he's insecure right now about the men that you just follow on a social media platform. There's gonna be insecurities that arise Like Weezy said, if you're in a job and you start working with men or. Or if you, you know, go to a restaurant and maybe the server is too nice to you, Insecurities only heighten over time. And if he's that insecure to where he wants you to unfollow everyone on Instagram, I would say let him go deal with whatever traumas he is carrying and move on to someone else. This is. I would not advise anybody to stay with a man like this.

[Mandy]

You're going to have a really hard time going through life like this. Like, I don't know. I guess I've been fortunate. I've of course, run into scenarios with every partner on how I engage with men, or having homeboys or maybe questions like those things come up. It's totally natural. All of my women friends have the same thing. Like, there's always going to be conversation about boundaries, things like that. But this one in particular, none you can follow. None. I'm gonna be real with you. I don't have many niggas I follow because they're following kind of. But I have many men I follow because I admire their work. I'm a fan of their content creation and or style. Like, I just don't understand how I could Only bro comedian, you gotta unfollow Kev on stage. What you gonna do? No, Drew ski. Like, really Ask that. That. Oh, you want me to.

[Weezy]

Yeah, ask if you gotta unfollow Drew.

[Mandy]

Like, Drew gotta go. My Charlemagne, the God Breakfast Club updates.

[Weezy]

Got to go.

[Mandy]

What am I supposed to do if we realistically can't follow the opposite sex in order to make our partner feel comfortable? What is then the next level? How much deeper does it go? I mean, really?

[Weezy]

Okay, so then let me ask you a question. Let's get into some hypotheticals. If she's saying he's worried that I'm going to cheat or something, would a compromise be, hey, these people are in my algorithm and I like them. Do you want my password?

[Mandy]

Like, no. Why do we.

[Weezy]

I mean, because. So, so. And this is where. Because here's the thing too, let's be very clear. Women will stay with some fucked up niggas just to keep a nigga. So if. If she's like, he's my boyfriend now, but this is what he wants. We've talked about fucking compromises and sacrifices. Maybe she's not going to enjoy the app at all anymore because she's following people that she enjoys. So she's like, I think he feels like I'm using it to cheat. And she said, I'm not going to cheat. So in this essence, if you have nothing to hide, could that not be a solution to make him feel more comfortable? If he then has access to. To see what she's doing on the.

[Mandy]

App and then you.

[Weezy]

I'm thinking of a compromise without just being like, leave him, because of course he's insecure, she gonna say, so let's think of, like a compromise. What's a health?

[Mandy]

That's another unhealthy compromise, right? So the thing about toxicity, when it comes to things like this, where you see a lot of control early on, you're only trying to get around it by doing something else that's super toxic to me. There shouldn't be a password exchange to include to have trust. Now, the only caveat I think to password exchange that I can understand. And I never did this, but I do get it. Let's just say I'm on Instagram. My man cheats on me with a girl he met on IG and he was maybe messaging a lot of women on ig. Maybe then the compromises, if I stay with you, I have your password or something, but then you only turn into this person that is constantly checking. Or niggas going to wait till you sleep and do the disappearing messages. Like, they will find a way. Niggas will find a way. We'll tell you right now. I really hope she'll come on one day. I have a friend. We're not like friend friends, but we'll have dinner every once in a blue in L. A. And she'll always spill tea. And right now her man has her location. She was like, bitch, I'll leave the phone at home like a brick. She's like, I'll leave the phone at home. I'll find a way to put it on a laptop because I want to see my side nigga. And she's really funny because she be like, dead ass saying this now. Her nigga's like sugar daddy type who just pays her bills, right? But the point is that girl found a way double the phone. Like, you want to get fucked.

[Weezy]

You want to double. Doubling a phone is insane. If you have to go to the lengths of doubling your phone and leaving it at home, like, just leave whoever.

[Mandy]

You fucking with, bro, when niggas paying your bills, I think you do what you gotta do.

[Weezy]

But if a nigga is only paying my bills and not like my actual exclusive partner, no, bro, there's. To me, there could be unhealthy and controlling Sugar daddy transactional relationships too.

[Mandy]

I mean, listen, I didn't say my friend wasn't toxic, but the bitches, you know, it's funny and I brought it up just to make a point of like, if you want to do it, you'll do it. So that's why I don't believe in password exchange. I never have.

[Weezy]

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[C]

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[Weezy]

So then what would be your answer outside of leaving this?

[Mandy]

I actually think the only thing you can do in order to save this relationship is say no. Here's why. This is a very strange thing to remove all of the opposite sex from something that's a social media account. These aren't text messages. These aren't homeboys. I. In my opinion, I think you have to fight back and set a boundary for yourself because you're going to end up being controlled. This may sound like it's not a big deal to you because let's just say you're the type of girl that's like, I don't really use ig. I don't know them niggas anyway. I don't care. To me, it's ridiculous because he's starting the relationship with a piece of control. And on these circumstances that aren't necessarily required or very normal, interacting with the opposite sex is a part of our everyday life. I don't know what butt fuck town you could possibly live in where it won't happen, but there's no way. So I would push back and literally use that example of let's talk about where this comes from. Have a mature conversation. Be like, I think wiping men out of a social media feed sounds more than what it is. Tell me why you want me to do this. Is there something that happened to you in a previous relationship that you feel like I may do? Because this won't solve it. I'll still walk outside and see a man somewhere. Some. So what should my interactions look like with men that will make you feel comfortable? Second to that, a great question. Do I unfollow Drew Ski?

[Weezy]

Real shit, bro.

[Mandy]

Like every nigga like I and Mandy, I. I'm. Maybe other women wouldn't. But I do understand someone saying, unfollow bitches that you might have dated. I get it. I want to talk about on the flip side, women that do. This friend of mine has been dating a guy for a year. He was not unfollowing IG models. She was very upset about it. I may have brought it up on a previous episode last year. Did I?

[Weezy]

It's possible.

[Mandy]

Him liking photos of blonde girls and she wasn't blonde. Do you remember this?

[Weezy]

Yeah, it's possible.

[Mandy]

Okay, this is the same person and she hates that he follows models. But I'm like, bruh, you got in a relationship with a nigga following 1700 people. I guarantee you it's just a click, click, click thing. And my thing I was telling her was like, your niggas got a private page. Not that he is ugly, but like these bitches with blue chat, India love ain't worried about your nigga. Like, why do we really care? And so to me, knowing my homegirl who's been cheated on, I get it. It always comes from somewhere. But I tried to explain to her, like, I feel like you're almost policing him just going on the Internet a little bit. And that's the thing. If someone hasn't proven they've been irresponsible or unloyal dishonest to you and your relationship.

[Weezy]

Nah. I mean, but I think. But I think that that's why I said he. He should absolutely like. And I, you're 24, so you're young. I want to tell you, there's so many more goddamn fish in the sea. But that's why I said he needs to go and work on whatever trauma. Because the same way your homegirl is clearly projecting her insecurities because she's been cheated on. It could be that. Or I'm curious as to if. If they've known each other since 11, if they've had some sort of friendship. I'm also curious to know if she's over shared. I say that because maybe there was a part of this friendship where you met a guy on Instagram or you fucked people off Instagram and you shared those interactions with him to where that's what's in his head. I mean, for me, like, I meet people on Instagram so I could see if my partner felt away about seeing me in the likes of other actors or other rappers and things that look like him. Because, baby, I'm proud of how I liked a couple pictures. And, you know, he slid in my DMs. So knowing that he knows that Instagram has been used as my way of shooting my shot, especially through liked pictures, I would be curious to know if maybe you've also overshared how you roll on Instagram as an app. I mean, we can look at Instagram. That's the thing. So for me, you. I get how you view Instagram as this place where you scroll, find recipes, and it's a scrolling thing. Right. I don't do dating apps, but I've definitely gotten hella dick and. And partnership off of Instagram as the dating app. As a dating app of my choice. And so to lean into that, I can see why it's not just ig. IG could be a. Hey, delete Tinder off your phone. Hey, delete hinge off your phone to me. If we, if, if someone wrote us in saying that, we would absolutely be like, yeah, bitch, delete that off your phone. Which is why I want to turn Instagram into the dating app that it could potentially be used as.

[Mandy]

So here's the caveat. I don't agree because. So I go on girls nights to Last Lap, a bar in New York. You know, I met my ex at Last Lap. I'm just making sure to. And I fuck a bunch of bitches from Last Lap. That part's true. Whatever. So now I can't go to Last Lap anymore. Are you in a relationship with someone that you're going to trust because the girl now can't navigate Instagram because she met you on There. Imagine if your partner said that to you, just cuz you.

[Weezy]

Oh, and did. Like we had the conversation about me going into the sex club, me talking about guys being in there that I had had any sort of interaction with and it being a thing. But no, like, that was the thing I had to say.

[Mandy]

I do think the sex feels a little different.

[Weezy]

I mean, not really. If I walk into well then. And I changed it. I said, if I go into a goddamn party and a nigga is there that I fucked, you can't get mad because a nigga is in there that I fuck. I had a life before you. So that's why I brought up that if Instagram is being used as a dating app, that would be the only reason I could give him a pass on his insecurity of her still navigating it. However she does, if she's used it that way in the past. Which is why I said we would excuse Hinge, we would excuse Tinder, we would excuse Bumble, a partner being like, delete those. Sure. That's why I'm saying I use Instagram the same way y' all niggas use Hinge, Bumble Field and all that.

[Mandy]

Hinge has a dating purpose. But, like, that's the thing. I mean, I think that's playing devil's advocate. I think we all also all know deleting Hinge is way different from making someone delete a social media profile.

[Weezy]

Only if. But that's what I'm saying. No, no, no, no. I'm. I'm including the details that if she has used Instagram to find partners in dick, then she is using. It is more than just a social media app. She's using it as a platform to meet partners.

[Mandy]

But I. I mean, unless your profile is looking for love. No, like, but this is also the thing about having trust in people and talking about boundaries and what's required before a relationship starts. So you're writing us at the time where this is happening and hopefully this episode comes out before you talk to this, because Beats no. That's all. That's our answer. Totality no.

[Weezy]

Or what's going to happen is she's going to stay with him. She's going to get our book, no holds barred, and see that she stayed too long. Because, girl, you're 24 years. You're 24 years old. You seeing eight months in. Seeing the red flags wave, seeing the controlling behavior, seeing the insecurity, you deciding to stay. I ain't going to hold you, sis. Can only be mad at yourself. For saying past this one, bitch.

[Mandy]

Let me tell my homegirl to look at this shit right now. Because me and her arguing about her n. I'm not even playing with y' all. I just jumped on my phone. What fucking page is that, bitch? That's the chapter.

[Weezy]

That's the chapter. That's the chapter. And if you haven't yet, make sure you pre order our book. No Holds Bar, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. I'm not sure if you guys been listening and really know what's going on, but we created a masterclass around the book. We know you niggas like free shit, right? So we said, okay, we got them ordering a book that don't come out till June 24th. Not gonna get today house till then. So what can we give them to kind of hold them over till the book release? And we created this masterclass that is broken down into the same sections of the book. You're gonna learn some things about the book. I take you out through the dungeon. That is actually talked about in the chapter, can I put your penis in a cage? Weezy sits down with the matchmaker Maria. That was just on a recent episode. And she also talks about financial help from her sugar daddy. Um, so there's like, some financial worksheets in there. There's playlists to get over a fuck nigga. The listener that's listening to our feedback right now. When and if you break up with this man. I got a playlist for you in our masterclass.

[Mandy]

Oh, God.

[Weezy]

All you have to do is go to our Instagram page. It's decisionsdecisions. Click the link in our bio, and it literally says masterclass form. All you have to do is upload a proof of purchase. So a screenshot of your email showing that you purchased no holds barred.

[Mandy]

And.

[Weezy]

And you'll automatically get an email sent to you with a one time use code to access the masterclass. So make sure y' all do that. We excited that we was able to get it to y' all or whatever, but also continue to send your letters in till you got decisions. Email us decisionspodmail.com hopefully we helped you. Hopefully you got that. The final message of this shit is, girl, just leave him. Leave him and get you a new one. Get you a new one.

[Mandy]

Is that not the theme of every letter? Anyway, get you a new one. And ask about Drew Ski.

[Weezy]

Yes. All right, thank y' all for tuning in, and we'll see y' all next Wednesday.

[Mandy]

Bye. Bye. This is an I Heart podcast.