You've Got Decisions: My Partner is Ashamed of How We Met

Summary

Podcast Title: Decisions, Decisions
Episode Title: You've Got Decisions: My Partner is Ashamed of How We Met
Release Date: July 23, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B and WeezyWTF
Published By: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts

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Introduction

In the July 23, 2025 episode of "Decisions, Decisions," hosts Mandii B and WeezyWTF tackle a relatable and sensitive topic: the stigma surrounding how couples meet, particularly when meeting through dating apps. The episode delves into Sid's (Ms. Cloud) heartfelt query about her partner's embarrassment over their online meeting, exploring societal perceptions, personal insecurities, and the evolving landscape of modern relationships.

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Listener's Story: Embracing Online Beginnings

The episode centers around a letter from Sid (Ms. Cloud), who shares her dilemma:

Sid: "My man is afraid to tell his family the truth about how we met. When I first met his father, my man just said, 'Hey, don't mention it.' [03:26]"

Sid explains that despite their strong relationship, her partner insists on fabricating their meeting story, claiming his family would judge them if they knew they met on Hinge. This concealment causes Sid discomfort, as she values honesty and authenticity in her relationships.

---

Hosts Share Personal Experiences

Mandii and Weezy open up about their own experiences with online dating, highlighting that meeting through apps like Hinge or Tinder is commonplace and should not be a source of shame.

Mandii: "We met on Hinge, summer of 2023. [06:18]... We actually met on Hinge. He's like, I'm not gonna tell niggas we met on Hinge."

Weezy: "Online dating is not taboo anymore. It's literally the way people date now. [07:40]"

They emphasize that reliance on dating apps is a modern norm and share anecdotes of friends and past relationships to illustrate that many successful and genuine connections start online.

---

Discussion: Challenging Societal Norms and Personal Insecurities

The hosts delve into the reasons why Sid's partner might feel ashamed, touching upon societal expectations, traditional family values, and personal insecurities.

Weezy: "If you realize that people aren't even really asking how y' all met. Why does it matter? [10:04]"

Mandii: "Maybe he's afraid they'll gossip. But his family is messy and they're going to do it anyways. [05:51]"

They discuss how traditional narratives often glorify 'serendipitous' or 'romantic' meeting stories, making online origins seem less romantic or serious in comparison. However, Mandii and Weezy argue that the medium through which couples meet should not detract from the authenticity or strength of their relationship.

---

Advice: Embracing and Reframing the Origin Story

Mandii and Weezy offer practical advice to Sid on how to address her partner's concerns without compromising their truth.

Weezy: "Don't harp on it so much... make it a part of your speech at the wedding. [10:41]"

Mandii: "If my man really was like, I really don't want my family to know, I wouldn't care. [11:25]"

They suggest that openly embracing their meeting story can defuse any potential judgment and that confiding in one another can strengthen their bond. The hosts advocate for transparency and confidence in one's relationship narrative, emphasizing that how couples meet does not define the quality or longevity of their partnership.

---

Personal Anecdotes: Origin Stories Gone Awry

To illustrate their points, Mandii and Weezy share humorous and sometimes cringe-worthy stories about unconventional or embarrassing ways past relationships began. These anecdotes serve to normalize the variety of ways people connect and highlight that every couple's story is unique.

Weezy: "We met during a fight. [15:04]... It was crazy, we got into a fight the first time we met."

Mandii: "We were introduced by a friend who ended up being the common link between my friend and me. [16:27]"

These stories reinforce the message that while the circumstances of how couples meet can be diverse and unexpected, they ultimately contribute to the richness of their relationship.

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Conclusion: Redefining Relationship Beginnings

Wrapping up the episode, Mandii and Weezy reaffirm that the essence of a relationship lies in the connection and mutual respect between partners, not the method of their meeting. They encourage listeners to embrace their unique love stories and challenge societal norms that may impose unnecessary stigma.

Weezy: "It's not that big of a deal. [24:45]... Just don't care."

Mandii: "I would play along if it doesn't matter with my family or friends. [23:10]"

The hosts conclude on a positive note, urging listeners to prioritize authenticity and mutual understanding in their relationships, thereby fostering an environment where all love stories are respected and celebrated.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Mandii (03:26): "We met on Hinge. He's like, we met on Hinge."
• Weezy (07:40): "Online dating is not taboo anymore. It's literally the way people date now."
• Weezy (10:04): "Why does it matter?"
• Mandii (11:25): "If my man really was like, I really don't want my family to know, I wouldn't care."
• Weezy (15:04): "Why does it matter? If you realize that people aren't even really asking how y' all met."

---

Key Takeaways

• Normalization of Online Dating: Mandii and Weezy advocate for accepting online dating as a legitimate and common way to meet partners, debunking outdated stigmas.

• Authenticity Over Perception: Emphasizing the importance of being truthful in relationships, they encourage couples to prioritize their genuine connections over societal expectations.

• Communication is Crucial: Open dialogue between partners about their insecurities and the narratives they wish to present to others is essential for a healthy relationship.

• Embracing Unique Stories: Every relationship has its own story, and the uniqueness of how couples meet should be celebrated rather than judged.

By addressing Sid's concerns with empathy, personal experiences, and practical advice, Mandii B and WeezyWTF provide a comprehensive outlook on navigating relationship narratives in the modern age.

Transcript

[Mandy]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Weezy]

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[Mandy]

If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?

[Weezy]

You've got decisions. Welcome back y'.

[Mandy]

All.

[Weezy]

We everybody another you got decisions. If you want us to read your letter and give you the best advice that we could give you, baby, based on what we know and how we done lived. Okay, make sure you send us your letter to decisionspodmail.com and before we get to this week's episode or this week's question, I want y' all to go ahead. If you haven't yet, order no holds barred. A dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. Because baby, we are going on tour and we're still hopping, baby. But get your book. Where'd you be on the road?

[Mandy]

First stop we going to Texas. So y' all that are out in Houston and Dallas, grab your tickets. We're coming to you first. Then San Francisco and LA. Check out the dates on NHB tour.com It's going to be so much fun. Don't worry if you haven't read the book or you can't read, nigga, because we still doing our live show just like we do it.

[Weezy]

And we do. And so make sure you go to nhbtour.com and get your motherfucking Puss tickets, okay?

[Mandy]

Ho, not the puss ass tickets.

[Weezy]

Puss tickets. Now, this one, this letter this week is really interesting because I have a story that just happened as well to tell. And I think it's interesting because it's a tale as old as time. So the subject line for this is, my partner is ashamed of how we met. Ain't that some shit?

[Mandy]

My nigga is, too.

[Weezy]

See, we gotta get. So we'll. Okay. Clearly, y'. All. Y' all get story time when y' all listen to this. But this is how we get to giving y' all some advice. So let's get into the letter this week. It says, dear Mandy and Weezy, my man and I met on Hinge in November of 2023. And we have been locked in ever since. I met his family and he has met mine. My family loves him. Even my dad, who told me to be nice to him because he's a good one, which is true. Now, I love this man, and I have no qualms about how we met. I truly don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of it. I just turned 30 this year, and my family knows that I do. Shit, how the fuck I feel like it, because that's how I was raised. The people in my family that know how we met are my sister and my niece who live with me. The rest of my family doesn't know simply because they never asked. However, my man is afraid to tell his family the truth about how we met. When I first met his father, my man just said, hey, don't mention it. And I didn't think anything of it. But a few months later, we traveled to another state where I met his mother, aunt, sister and nieces and nephews. And he told me that if they ask how we met, I am to tell them that we met at my job. He claims that he is scared that they will judge him and us, but that they won't accept it. But I told him that it makes me uncomfortable to lie about it and that it's nothing to be ashamed of. But he insists that they can't handle it.

[Mandy]

Can't handle it, girl.

[Weezy]

Now, we are quickly approaching two years. We have discussed marriage, kids, and all of what our future will look like. But he's still not okay with telling his family how we met until after we are married. This to me is stupid. Because if they're going to talk shit before we get married, why would a wedding change anything? How can I remove this stigma that he has put on our origin story? I feel like he's really just afraid that they're going to gossip about it behind his back. But his family is messy and they're going to do it anyways. How do I get him to give less fucks about what his shady, messy ass family thinks? I love and appreciate this show for all of its valuable discourse. Any advice would be awesome. Thanks, Sid, aka Ms. Cloud.

[Mandy]

Yo. His family's never asked me how he met.

[Weezy]

Really?

[Mandy]

But this is interesting because. Okay, so this is how I found out. He didn't. He not ashamed. Ashamed. But we had a different story. I met my man on hedge, summer of 2023. Our first date was at Soho House meat packing. So we are watching on the cruise, this couples game. And in the couples games, they say, where did you first meet? Now, some of these couples, they wanted the date and time, whatever. So the girl next to us is just being playful. She's like, where'd y' all meet? We said it the same time, and it was two different answers. So I'm like, nico, we met on Hinge. He's like, our first meet was at Soho House. We did not meet on Hinge. We met at Soho House. So I'm laughing. The girl's laughing. He's being playful. He's just like, bruh. Like, I'm not gonna tell niggas we met on Hinge. And I'm like, for real? And he's like, I don't care. But at the same time, like, I wish we met in real life. And I think it's because of how people view dating apps. Because at the end of the day, were you desperate when you were on there, or was it just sex? Or maybe they think the relationship's not that serious. And the other thing, I don't know. If his family asked, I would have said it, but I don't think he's. My man's not hiding it. We've never had a conversation like, don't you dare tell anybody. He just be rolling his eyes when we talk about it. But I wonder if. Let's just say this dude's family is not going to take the relationship serious, maybe. Or they're going to judge him. Like, you couldn't go out and meet somebody? Like, who knows? I can only understand certain scenarios because whether they be religious or from a certain background, they might look at it as Ridiculous to meet somebody online, I guess.

[Weezy]

I guess it could just be the dating app thing, but I wonder, like, if it's religious, if they have certain traditions in their family. To me, online dating is not taboo anymore. Like, it's literally the way people date now. And to know that she just turned 30 and they met two years ago, it's just like, bro, you're in your 20s. Like, I don't see anything wrong with dating apps. What's also funny is, like, I loved the origin stories of my last two exes, both of which I met online, but not in dating apps. Like, I met one literally during the pandemic on Zoom. I loved telling that's a cool.

[Mandy]

We met on Zoom because it was very pandemic.

[Weezy]

And then, I'm not gonna lie, me and my ex, the actor bae, bro, we loved telling people how we met and how. I was like, yeah, I was watching this movie he was in, and I thought he was cute. So I looked up the cast, and then I found his Instagram and liked his pictures.

[Mandy]

I guess I forgot that I didn't know that. I just.

[Weezy]

Bro, that is so. No girl we met.

[Mandy]

I was watching the movie he was.

[Weezy]

In, bro, I watched the movie he was in, and I was like, oh, he cute.

[Mandy]

Now, let me see what he look like at home.

[Weezy]

Yeah, like, oh, he cute.

[Mandy]

And I literally better in person.

[Weezy]

And then I Googled the cast. And then, mind you, I ain't even know the N had an accent till we got on the phone. I was like, nigga, you was American in the movie. Or you was speaking English, but not English. English. Like, dead ass. But, yeah, no, we told. Like, even when I went to a movie premiere recently with him. Yeah, but that was a cute origin story, sharing that.

[Mandy]

I mean, it's not I met on.

[Weezy]

Tinder, but to me, that's the story I met on Tinder, period. Like, literally. It's not that. It's not even a long way. Like, we met on Tinder. The origin story of even just saying that, that's it. I don't know if anything is wrong with that now.

[Mandy]

I mean, I've been to two hinge weddings, bro.

[Weezy]

That's my thing. The idea of. Okay, then I guess the advice. How would you. Actually, I have a question for the listener. Why the fuck does it matter?

[Mandy]

I was gonna say, I wouldn't care.

[Weezy]

If you realize that people aren't even really asking how y' all met. Why does it matter? I also think what you could do is not harp on it so much, because if A lot of people aren't asking, I think, literally, make it a part of your speech at the wedding. If he feels like they gonna have so much to say. Bitch, bring it up at the wedding. I can't believe we're walking down the aisle, we're cutting our cake, and we are married. And we met on Hinge. Like, at that point. Like, make it a gag if it really means that much to you, but.

[Mandy]

Do the first date thing like my nigga been doing. We messing around. I mean, here's.

[Weezy]

Okay, I'm not mad at that.

[Mandy]

Like, told people together. Especially, like, when we're on dates with women, we're like. We say Hinge. And actually, the most recent girl we slept with. Hold on. I remember came first. But that one bitch who had a boyfriend, she met her man on Hinge, too. And we were, like, connecting about dating apps and joking about it. But I think that it's per audience, and so I go front. If my man really was like, I really don't want my family to know, I wouldn't care. And the reason being is, like, you know your people. You know the shit they be saying. Maybe he already lied. Maybe he told his family, like, yo, my girl.

[Weezy]

Oh, I didn't even think of that. Maybe he told them a completely different story.

[Mandy]

Yes.

[Weezy]

And so at this point, it'll look corny and lame. They really gonna talk about his ass if you come in with a different story.

[Mandy]

You know, I actually had that kind of opposite thing happen with a friend of mine who met a girl at a club, and she don't like telling people that she was working that night at the club. And he be like, bro, I'm so fucking tired of, like, me and her having a craft shit. Because he says, like, I know the truth, but he's like, we'd just be on vacation and shit. And she'll, like, just randomly say some shit that ain't real. And he's like, bruh, you a bottle girl. Who cares? Like, who gives a fuck? Mandy, tell me how much you hate getting a fee on something.

[Weezy]

I hate it. Especially the ones that are hidden. The ones where you see there's a total, and then next thing you know, there's a fee at the end. Like rentals for the weekend and concert tickets.

[Mandy]

For me, it's a missed payment because, girl, we've been busy, okay? And honestly, every dollar counts for me. I got vacations to go on.

[Weezy]

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[Mandy]

O N S. Okay, can I tell you my favorite part? Forget the fee girl. Getting paid two days early. That's what I'm talking about. Up to two days early with direct deposit.

[Weezy]

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[Mandy]

It's just always so convenient considering you never know what time zone you in. It might be 3am we in the club. We need that card to work the tools. Helping me with just balance updates and letting me know where I'm at in real time. That's what I'm talking about.

[Weezy]

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[Weezy]

Is there someone that you've met that you are embarrassed by how y' all met? Like, let me tell you what happened. So you.

[Mandy]

I wish I had a different.

[Weezy]

Oh well. The first time we actually met in person was a fight that's the point.

[Mandy]

That's very embarrassing. Hey, how did you meet the co author to your New York Times bestseller? Well, we were fucking with the same guy. And.

[Weezy]

And, no, you was not even fucking with. That was your ex. You was mad he moved on with me.

[Mandy]

Randy, continue on.

[Weezy]

Damn. You know what's crazy? So I was at a bar. I meet this couple, and they're like. As soon as I walk in, he's like, yo, I was just trying to tell her to. That I'm gonna bring her to Jamaica, bitch, for the hedonism trip that I'm doing on Labor Day weekend. So he was like, it's so crazy you're here. Let me get you a drink. Da, da da. So we sitting here talking to them. They are hilarious. They've been fucking with each other for 10 years, but she still fucked with both her baby daddies, and so she fucked with all three of them. And they all know about each other and all this shit. It was crazy. Anyways, we go to asking, hey, how did y' all meet? When I tell you. He grabbed her leg. So hard to not say how. And then me and my best friend was just like, all right, now we interested. You know why? You know how I think they met? And he didn't want to say it. Hmm. Bitch, I'm convinced. Which. This one may be worse than Hinge and Tinder. I think they met on Seeking Arrangement.

[Mandy]

Oh, you can still say online.

[Weezy]

Yeah, but maybe she could have just said online. All I know is Seeking Arrangement got brought up in the conversation. And she was like, bitch, how you know about that site? What you know about that site? And I'm just like, oh, bitch, you don't know who you talking to. I knew about that site when I was 18 years old before I could drink. Ho. Let's be very clear. Yeah. So I can see that being. I could see that could be an embarrassing way to meet a partner.

[Mandy]

So not a partner, but one of my homegirls shout out to B. Hampton. There was a dude that introduced her and I. Because he said, my homegirl, Brittany and you are just alike. Y' all are gonna love each other. Actually, we were born one day apart. It is crazy because Alex is the same way.

[Weezy]

I'm 317.

[Mandy]

Alex Media is 318. Brittany Hampton, 3 16. So he's like, oh, you'll love Brittany Hampton. Da da da da. Y' all are just like that. Y' all got the same vibe. Where have I heard this before? This nigga I used to fuck with told me, yo, have you ever heard of a girl named Brittany Hampton? It's so funny, because now everybody's gonna Google her or look her up on ig. I'm like, no. Why? He's like, nah, you just kind of remind me of her. So, boom. My homeboy introduced me to Britney. Her and her vibing, da da da. I'm like, you know, someone else told me I would get along with you. She said, who? I said, his name. She was like, girl, don't tell me you was that nigga, too. I was like, oh, my God. She's like, wheezy, what the fuck? How is this nigga? She's like. And then we sitting there trying to go through stories like, bitch, when he told you about me, she's like, april? I was like, may.

[Weezy]

Yeah. The nigga probably was fucking with the.

[Mandy]

Both of us and was like, nah, they got the same energy, bitch. Fast forward. I go on a date with a dude in la, and if you guys remember this, if you're OG listeners of Horrible decisions, there was a guy I went on a first date with that held up my phone to see where the fingerprint was because he said he could guess my password. He was a virgin. So at this time, I'm just getting on the scene in la, and I'm calling Brittany, like, oh, my God, girl. I went on this crazy date and I tell her about him. I was like, he was so fine, though. But he's a virgin. She said, bitch, don't tell me his name is. I'm like, bruh, I always fought the same nigga. And we almost fought another nigga. She was like, girl, he is so fine. She's like, I was really sitting there. I think they went to church and everything, because Brittany's a church girl.

[Weezy]

I'm still waiting to hear. Is it how y' all met? Like, how did y' all meet?

[Mandy]

We. The way we met is because we were introduced.

[Weezy]

Oh, you're talking about Britney. I was trying to hear how you met the guys.

[Mandy]

Oh, no, no, no. To me, I'm saying it's not a partner, but it's a friend. Because basically said, we the same, dog. I'm telling you, that shit is so crazy. And when I. Which is crazy because she introduced me to Kenya Barris because she was working on sets and shit. And she was like, oh, you gotta be my friend, Weezy, she's funny. Blah, blah, blah. But what I was thinking to myself was, like, yo, no one ever asked me and Brittany how we know each other, but if they did, would we.

[Weezy]

Be like, so the introduction would be, we were both fucking the same nigga, and they said that we should be friends.

[Mandy]

Yes.

[Weezy]

Wow. That's funny. Now I don't think I have any.

[Mandy]

Like, I don't know if she was fucking up. Maybe they were just dating. Can't say anyone. Don't even know if my friends had sex before. She was dating a virgin as well.

[Weezy]

Oh, my God. I, I. It's so weird because how important is an origin story of who you're dating? Is that a, is that an important part of a relationship?

[Mandy]

It's only important in if he used to fuck your homeboy. I mean, you used to fuck his.

[Weezy]

Homeboy, like, daddy or like, something like that.

[Mandy]

That's when you got a lot that right.

[Weezy]

I don't think you need to lie about a ditch.

[Mandy]

I feel like my man got one in his family. No, no, no, no, no. I think it was a N he.

[Weezy]

Knew, but, I mean, I'm not going to lie.

[Mandy]

Passed around. And then that girl ended up becoming someone's fiance.

[Weezy]

Oh, I was going to say there are, if there are some instances of niggas, I fuck that if we ended up being together, I don't think I would share the origin stories. Like, there's certain n that I met. Like, I remember, and maybe y' all will read it. I don't know how much I put in the book, but, like, when I was young, I had a nigga on the, on the Golden State Warriors. I'll never forget it. He brought me out, and we had already been fucking with each other for a couple years.

[Mandy]

Oh, Lord.

[Weezy]

He brought me to Golden State, went to the game, ended up going out, but with, like, some of the teammates. And bitch, when I tell you he introduced me as a friend. I ended up talking to three of his teammates and fucking two of them stop me. And did and did. Because I said, oh, I'm just a friend. Well, then if I'm just a friend, nigga. They slid straight into my MySpace messages, and I sure did entertain them. And let me tell you, one of them ended up being my first pegging story that's in the goddamn book. So I, I like to say it worked out well for me.

[Mandy]

You know, I just read that story again yesterday because I wanted to read the book start to finish.

[Weezy]

Like, how people read it, are experiencing it.

[Mandy]

Because I was reading your chapters as they were coming in. Probably like you read mine. Like, we read them as they come in. But now I was like, I want to feel the emotion back to back. And I Remember reading that? Were you talking about the Porsche or something? Or however the Nick was thinking?

[Weezy]

Oh, yeah, he picked me up in a porch.

[Mandy]

Girl, I was, like, so crazy. Like, just when I was going back and forth. And then my man was like, oh, I want to go and reread the book in full now as well. So we on the phone today. He said, man, I'm sitting here thinking, my baby wrote a book. It's like I'm opening this up. Talking about Nate was perfect. He had a big dick and a job. He said, I was so tired of this. I was like, listen, I was like, when you get tired of me, just go to Mandy's. And then, you know, give yourself a break. And then I was like, go read about Mandy Pagan first. Cause you feel like I ain't that bad.

[Weezy]

Oh, my God.

[Mandy]

Yeah, I was a Q and A.

[Weezy]

I think that that would be that. To me, though, like, if you fucked. If you fucked on somebody and met, like, they friend and then ended up fucking their friend and. And then y' all got together, the origin story would have to be changed up. Tinder, Hinge everything. But Seeking Arrangement or Ashley Madison. I think online wise, it's fine to say y' all met on. On a. On an app.

[Mandy]

Yeah. I mean, unless you were, like, a sex worker. Or if maybe if he doesn't want people to know you're a stripper or shit like that. I've been watching 90 Day Fiance's Tell all, and, like, there's so much shame around. There's a throuple on there for the first time, and one of them, the throuple, the girlfriend, is a stripper from Tijuana, and they've blended families. She's got children. They've got children. And it seems like the way that they met is such a large conversation online, and it becomes the reason that when something goes wrong in their relationship, people then revert back and say, oh, well, it's because you met like this. So maybe that has a lot to do with why your partner is trying to hide it. But at the end of the day, girl, I. I would play along for me, if I just don't care. I ain't gonna do it with my family or my friends. But if you're. If you're that bent out of shape about your own family, whatever, I don't give a fuck.

[Weezy]

Yeah. And he just needs to get over.

[Mandy]

It because not everybody's as open like.

[Weezy]

Or.

[Mandy]

Or they don't talk about things as much. You know what I mean? Like, my man be in front of me and my mom, and he'd be looking like, what? You told her we was there? Why did you tell her we were at the sex club? I'd be like, whatever.

[Weezy]

Yeah, that's me. I'm an oversharer, though. But I would say for you writing in, asking about it, I honestly think it's not that big of a deal. That would be my thing. And if that's something that he doesn't want to share with his family again, and everything else is so great about him, and he's this great guy, I actually wouldn't harp on that. That sound like, to me, you just want to find something to complain about.

[Mandy]

Right.

[Weezy]

That's it. That's what I feel. Anyways, hope we helped by sharing all of our stories because we didn't really give you advice this week, but cares, I would say just don't care. Anyways, we are looking forward to seeing all of you guys in person at the NHB Tour. Go ahead, because we still horrible. Get your tickets, NHB tour.com and we'll see you there. And we'll see you next time.

[Mandy]

Bye, everybody.

[Weezy]

Bye, guys.

[Mandy]

This is an I Heart podcast.