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Sydnee Washington
This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.
Michelle Buteau
This is wheezy. WTF from Decisions decisions ladies. Let's talk about taking control of our sexual health. That's grown woman energy. You may think HIV affects someone else somewhere else, but the truth is it's impacting our community and some of us are being hit harder than others. Black women make up just 13% of the women in the US yet account for nearly half of new HIV diagnoses amongst women. Taking care of ourselves is community care. Know your options, ask questions and protect your peace and your body that's using your power. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.
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Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available@public.com disclosures your pet is
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Michelle Buteau
If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?
Sydnee Washington
You've got decisions. You got decisions.
Michelle Buteau
I do too.
Sydnee Washington
Welcome gu to another you got decisions where we answer your letters with our unofficial expert advice.
Michelle Buteau
I thought you're gonna say cheese.
Sydnee Washington
Listen, I still don't know why you guys really want our advice. I know we lived a life that a lot of you guys want, but we made mistakes along the way too, so.
Michelle Buteau
Oh, we did.
Sydnee Washington
We did. We absolutely did. We absolutely did. Anyways, guys, before we get started though, we are hitting the stage, baby. June 9th. That's a Tuesday in New York City. Stoney hall, one night only. Come join us because horrible Decisions is back, baby.
Michelle Buteau
And listen, we cannot wait to act a fool. Let me not can you? Because I can't wait.
Sydnee Washington
What you gonna do? You gonna drink breast milk again from the front row? You gonna lick a titty? What you gonna do? That was petty because y' all ain't gonna see my coochie pants are not being split.
Michelle Buteau
This. That was unnecessary.
Sydnee Washington
It wasn't weird draws. I'm just gonna wear draws.
Michelle Buteau
So I wouldn't eat drink breast milk again because I was too dumb to realize that I was putting myself at risk.
Sydnee Washington
A whole lot of risk.
Michelle Buteau
Because I was a little bit of a dumb dumb back then. But today I would do.
Sydnee Washington
You would do what? I would give my own. You gotta be pregnant to have breast milk. I wouldn't take the breast milk, but
Michelle Buteau
I would give it out. Especially if it was like a fan that we've been fucking with for a long time.
Sydnee Washington
You know what?
Michelle Buteau
Anyways, I wouldn't publicly put my breast milk titty In a nigga's mouth, though, a woman, I would
Sydnee Washington
say it's the same thing as cheating. You're cheating either way.
Michelle Buteau
I'm not cheating. I'm in an open relation.
Sydnee Washington
Oh, okay.
Michelle Buteau
I just mean, like, publicly. I couldn't do it with a nigga. They'd roast me forever.
Sydnee Washington
Okay, valid. You gotta do that shit. Just like, oh, I've never even. I ran into Jazzy when we were in la, and she was like, bitch, you really let that nigga Spectacular spit in your mouth. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, I'm never gonna let it, like, be lived down, but also, let me go. Just go ahead and put it out in the universe and solicit Usher, Chris Brown. I plan on attending. I'll do a small market. I'm down.
Michelle Buteau
What if not?
Sydnee Washington
I'll do a small market, baby. I did Greensboro, and I loved how I just. I ran the whole arena. Okay. It wasn't given this bullshit ass State Farm bullshit.
Michelle Buteau
Do you think that they could see the spit or they didn't know until they watched it later. I wondered that.
Sydnee Washington
I was like, oh, oh, girl, they're in the arena, bitch. I was on the big screen. They could see.
Michelle Buteau
No, I know, but could they see the spit?
Sydnee Washington
They didn't know that it was honey. They thought it was spit, which was where it became. Because it was brown. And I'm like, it was honey, y'. All. This wasn't brown. Phlegm.
Michelle Buteau
I wish we could have seen the honey bottle. It wouldn't have made it better.
Sydnee Washington
It wouldn't. Yomi. Yomi didn't capture him putting it in his mouth or it's captured. It just wasn't made into the edit because it was like a 90s.
Michelle Buteau
Did he approve the edit?
Sydnee Washington
No, he didn't approve the edit. It's so funny because when I landed in Ghana, he FaceTimed me and was like, I don't know what type of publicist you have, but goddamn, that shit was everywhere. And I was like, yeah, I know, I know, I know. Well, here we are. You wanted to go viral. Anyways, if you want to send a letter to us, make sure you send it to decisionspodmail.com Also, if you want to attend our live show on June 9th in New York City, get your tickets now@sonyhall.com. now, y', all, we talking about one of the topics that your girl is a pro at, so I feel like I can actually help here.
Michelle Buteau
No, she didn't. I'm a pro.
Sydnee Washington
Listen, the title of this one is Spin the Block or go back to being blocked. Okay, that's cute. Hear me out.
Michelle Buteau
I like that they funny.
Sydnee Washington
I done been both. I done done both. So, boom, let's get into it. Hey, babes. So I opened up Pandora's box by unblocking an ex. Oh, bitch, there you go. You unblock an ex. It's just saying you want to get fucked again. That's all it's saying.
Michelle Buteau
Because then you got to say something so they know they unblocked.
Sydnee Washington
You're missing the dick, literally. And she unblocked the ex because he messaged. Oh. And then she said, because he messaged me within 48 hours of unblocking. And now I don't know if I should be on this ride again. Backstory. I met this man when I was 20, and he was 31. All right there, Mama. I'm 28 and he's 39. He's from Boston, and I'm from Portland. We met on Tinder in 2018 while he was on a business trip in Portland. He knew my age, but I didn't know his. His profile said he was 28, and I found out years later his age was off. And while I was hurt by the dishonesty, it didn't turn me completely off from him. And that's three years. But also, men lying about their age is weird, but here we go. Let's keep going.
Michelle Buteau
That is common.
Sydnee Washington
I've always liked older men, and I guess I chopped it up to him being insecure. To me, he was wealthy, wise, and worldly. We had a hell of a situationship. Five years of infrequent but intense romance and us catching quarterly flights. But not feelings.
Michelle Buteau
Okay.
Sydnee Washington
Eventually, though, I did fall for him and even tried to communicate it. But he never seemed to want to take the conversation or me seriously. Once I turned 25, I came to the conclusion that our situationship would be nothing more than that. And I chose to cut contact with him after he had. After we had our millionth argument about him wanting me exclusively to himself but not wanting to define our relationship.
Michelle Buteau
I know he got good dick if he did. All that.
Sydnee Washington
Girl, eh? Yes. Subjective. In my brain. I needed to grow up and become more mature, and he needed to learn about his emotions before we could deal with each other. Three years later, I compare other men I date to him. I think about him regularly, and I can't help but wonder what things would have been like had we met when I was older. Would he have taken a 28 year old more seriously? So I unblocked him with the desire to snoop and see what he's been up to but had no plans to reach out. The desire and curiosity was obviously matched because within two days I got a DM from him and by day three we're spending three plus hours on the phone catching up about life, love and our what ifs. Like no time had passed at all. He told me about the lessons he learned from his previous relationship, details about a recent health scare and the revelations that came with that, and how he knows he should have been more considerate of my feelings when I was around. Ooh girl. I had a similar conversation. So many things that I wanted to hear. I'm remaining cool and open minded about the situation because I don't want to get my hopes up. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't giddy about him telling me he wants to come to Oregon and see me soon. When I had cut contact with him years ago, I had had this thought. What if we met again later down the road? Would it be the same non serious non committal bullshit or would I have an approved man in my hands? Surely he has had the time to realize what he's missing, right? I'm not expecting three perfect, but maybe it was the reset that we needed. Here's the questions. I guess what I really want to know is should I stay cool and open minded to a fresh start or should I block this mass hole again before I subject myself to another shitty situationship? Does getting older really count towards being wiser or am I just wishful thinking? Any advice or perspective on this is appreciated.
Michelle Buteau
Thanks babes.
Sydnee Washington
Now I guess I'll start with this because I'm fat queen and this was. It's actually funny because I actually semi attempted to also so I tried to double back I don't know like three niggas last year. One being the one that you know from Orlando that I was dealing with when I was like 19:20 Q. I
Michelle Buteau
was like don't we say his name Q. Okay yeah.
Sydnee Washington
And it's crazy because even though you
Michelle Buteau
know what made you want to double back with Q?
Sydnee Washington
Oh because I was thrown. He's the only person in my 20s that like I had genuinely even just considered like moving in with like at that point he figured you wanted me to move down back to Florida and he was the only person in my twenties I genuinely considered it with. He had bomb ass dick. We never were official but it's because we A didn't really ever lock down in the same city for quite long enough. He Hated Atlanta. We got a little bit more serious when I was in Miami and New York to Florida. That distance was a lot at the time, especially because I was poor. And then, I'll never forget it, I went down to Florida when we were really considering things, when New York just didn't seem to fully be working out, I went down to Florida, stayed with him for a week, and it was just like, oh, my God. Mind you, our age difference is 11 years. So when I was 20, I think he was like 31, 32. And I'll never forget it. First off, he didn't drink, so us hanging out was like, he thought I was just this wild child. And then at the time, he were ya. I mean, I was. He also felt like the sex we had was very porn sex. And I was like, well, nigga, it take two to tango, nigga, the fuck? And then the third part is how I dressed. He thought I dressed young. He hated my crop tops. And. Oh, girl, we had a whole talk about it because that's all I packed.
Michelle Buteau
You need to send me him again so I can see what he looks like.
Sydnee Washington
Because he.
Michelle Buteau
He looks.
Sydnee Washington
He. He still kind of looks great. He put on a little bit of weight, but he's a grown man.
Michelle Buteau
No, he was always guy. But I mean, I want to see his clothes. If he was talking about yours, his
Sydnee Washington
clothes are like, well, this was when I was 20, so, bitch, I'm wearing like little itty bitty clothes. Yeah, this is what happened when I was 20. Now he actually hits me up and thinks I'm like, the dopest, coolest. He's so proud. He knew I would be all this, blah, blah, blah.
Michelle Buteau
I hate when n slack that shit, girl.
Sydnee Washington
But what's crazy is, what is this now? 15 years later, 14 years later, we've been on conversations and I just don't think I see it. But throughout this last decade, I've absolutely thought, like, what if we met now? He still doesn't have kids. I still think he's a great guy. He does drink now, so I feel like we'd have a lot more fun together.
Michelle Buteau
Back at it, nigga.
Sydnee Washington
Bitch, I be like, what do you mean? You just got drunk with so and so. Y' all know I have been going through it with my hair, all the bleach, not getting the right moisture to my scalp. And since switching over to baskin lather, let me tell y', all, my hair has never felt so soft and scalp so hydrated. And that's probably because the stimulating scalp and hair balm nourishes and hydrates from the inside out with 100% natural ingredients. Now, when used regularly, users have seen results in as little as 33 months. They also have a really dope hydrating hair mist that keeps any hair type soft, shiny and hydrated. And ladies, it's 2026. We know the importance of having healthy, flourishing locks, okay? And we can only do that with using the right products. What else I love about Baskin Lather is that they are black owned and family operated. So hair care here starts with family love. The history behind how this brand started is also super dope. When a dermatologist misdiagnosed CEO Shayna's younger sister and said her hair may never grow back, the family basically took things into their own hands. And today her hair is down to her hips. You hear me? So explore the viral bestsellers and products of healthier hair of all types. From Basque and Lather, go to bask and lather co.com and use code decisions for 20% off. That's 20% off at bask and lather co.com code decisions.
Michelle Buteau
This is wheezy. Wtf? From decisions decisions.
Sydnee Washington
You know, a lot of us grew
Michelle Buteau
up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health. Learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just
Sydnee Washington
don't trust your partner.
Michelle Buteau
It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences, it's Mandy B.
Sydnee Washington
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the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index, and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comDisclosures
Sydnee Washington
for me I believe in right person, wrong time. I would suggest you to see what it's like, especially now that you're older with this person. However, even though he's addressing the places in which he's grown, I would be curious to see if the way that you've thought about him and have compared how this man made you feel with all these other people, if you at all crossed his mind as well. Because even though he's been in a relationship, even though he had a health care, even though he's older, if you weren't someone that he genuinely sat and saw long term or saw to take serious and just viewed you as fun, if over these last few years then have those same thoughts about you. I don't know if setting yourself up for failure by hoping just because y' all are older that this can be something is the way to go for it. However, if you're mature and you believe he's more Mature. If you don't want a situationship again, I think you need to be very adamant on what you would like from him before he hops on that flight to Oregon.
Michelle Buteau
So you asked if it was wishful thinking. She said she's 25 years old, correct?
Sydnee Washington
No, no, no, she's 28 now.
Michelle Buteau
28.
Sydnee Washington
She's 28. He's 39.
Michelle Buteau
Okay, I, I think that sometimes. This is going to sound harsh, but I have a few people in my life that have doubled back to people that they've made us hate. And one of which I just talked about on an episode, I think it may have been on a recent episode a few weeks ago, but basically about how a homegirl of mine with a kid double back to someone that treated her really poorly. And I think a few things happen to us after dating bad men. We spend way too much time time trying to get over them. We spend a lot of time comparing them to the next guy we date. Spend a lot of time healing, blaming ourselves for being in that predicament. And then once we're feeling better, we never really put ourselves out there to have more options. So then we kind of go back to that option that was terrible. And I think exploring different people is really important. Before sitting and thinking about what could have been with someone you once had a connection with, do you know, I
Sydnee Washington
think that she could have done that in the past three years. They haven't spoken in three years.
Michelle Buteau
I don't know if she did, like, I don't know if she did, but if, and, and again, you could be hearing this and be like, oh, I was over that nigga, I was off that nigga, I didn't worry about it, blah, blah, blah, you know. But for you to write in a long letter, to have blocked him means that there was some pain. Like there's been a lot. You said you all argued bad. Like, I don't know, it's tough for me. There's another thing that I really believe strong now that I'm in a healthier relationship about arguing. Often I see from my friends that have long term happy marriages, my friends that are happier and happier relationships, and even from my own, that the arguments aren't that bad, that the arguments don't get to a point of disrespect or breaking up and, or never this moment
Sydnee Washington
of like these, they were never committed. She did say a millionth argument, however, she started dating him at 20, so 20 to 25, I can just imagine you.
Michelle Buteau
No, he was still 30, 32 or something.
Sydnee Washington
Well, but that's what I'm saying. I think her being 28, I even can look at myself at 28. I had graduated college. I was an accountant. Who I was at 28, there were so many men.
Michelle Buteau
He was 32.
Sydnee Washington
He's. He. No, he's 39 now. He was 31. But yeah, I mean, even that though, like, I just dated someone who was 35, who I don't think, bitch, I got a homeboy that's 45.
Michelle Buteau
But what I'm saying is, like, there's not that much growth in it.
Sydnee Washington
I mean, like, in eight years, 28, there's a ton of growth that takes place.
Michelle Buteau
Sure. But also,
Sydnee Washington
I don't think a man between 30 and 39 changes as much as a woman between 20 and 28.
Michelle Buteau
And if she had to block them, that's what I'm saying.
Sydnee Washington
Maybe we bought niggas for. For nothing. I don't know.
Michelle Buteau
I don't have faith on this. I'm happy about new. I think New N is where it's at. And it's been three years. There couldn't have been that much that he's grown. And I think the other thing too, with past relationships is people tend to bring up old shit often hold on to the past. If you want to try it, try it. I'm not trying to be negative Nancy about it. I just. I really believe we don't put ourselves out there enough. And I think when we start thinking about wanting to double back, it's because of our options. We don't feel like we have good options. So we go back to an okay option from the past.
Sydnee Washington
I mean, I think as someone who's double backed, it's not to me as much about new options as much as it's about, unfortunately, sticking to the rivers and lakes that you're used to. And so for me, I was literally just on the front with my homeboy today, and I was like, at 35, I think whoever I would be with right now would be someone I met in my life 10, 15 years ago. Especially being that when I moved to Atlanta, even the three guys immediately. Well, two of the three guys that I was meeting, I had met previously. It was the N Jordan, it was Scientist bae. And you guys didn't know the one that I spent my birthday with, he was a 9 to 5 nigga, another PhD guy. And so I literally even said I was like, what's crazy is even moving to another city, I felt like, you know, going back to people that I was familiar with actually felt safer than meeting someone new. Especially being in a city like Atlanta. I don't know what it's like to date in Portland. I do also think if he's still in Boston, Bitch, look at the flights. The flights alone would keep me from considering a cross country long distance relationship.
Michelle Buteau
What that 39 year old nigga do.
Sydnee Washington
Look at the goddamn flights. Unless this man has a lot of money to be able to afford his commute or your commute to him, baby, these flights ain't no hoe. So to me, we are in a different economy, which I would say that would make me a little bit more hesitant on really pursuing this. Seriously. Because these cross country flights is expensive now. I don't think you should.
Michelle Buteau
Why would this be fun? Because you get to build a lot of like connection over the phone and spending time getting to learn each other. That's the one.
Sydnee Washington
That's where I think you need to ask the questions you really want to know to gauge where he's at currently before he hops on that flight. And if you feel like he still just senses some man, I really want to see you and kick it like how we used to. If that's not what you want, you gotta be strong enough to be like. I need more intention than that. I don't think it's good for us to see each other. That's.
Michelle Buteau
I agree with that. That's good.
Sydnee Washington
It's you, girl. Don't sit here and put him in the driver's seat. What do you want? What do you want his answers to be? How do you want him to show up for you? And if his answers don't align with what you want, you have to be strong enough to. It don't even need to be a block.
Michelle Buteau
It's hard to be strong when you
Sydnee Washington
want to keep that bay, bitch, just keep the nigga at bay. Anyways, if you want our advice, and by the way, we just gave you two different sets of advice, so do as you. I know, but yeah. Nonetheless, if you are listening to this and you want us to give you advice, make sure you email us decisionspodmail.com
Michelle Buteau
now you may not want us to give you advice since we was a little bit off. One was one way.
Sydnee Washington
One was that you can get literally
Michelle Buteau
two different sides of the coin.
Sydnee Washington
Yep.
Michelle Buteau
I think that makes it even better.
Sydnee Washington
Yep. Also again, if you want to see us live, Horrible Decisions is taking the stage. June 9, New York City at Sony Hall. Get your tickets now sonyhall.com we will see you there. And until next time, bitch, remember you got decisions, hopefully.
Michelle Buteau
Bye Everybody. See you June 9th.
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Sydnee Washington
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Sydnee Washington
this is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.
Podcast: Decisions, Decisions
Hosts: Mandii B and WeezyWTF
Release Date: May 27, 2026
Produced By: The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartPodcasts
This episode tackles the relatable and tricky topic of "spinning the block"—revisiting an old romantic connection or unblocking an ex. With their signature humor and candor, Mandii B and WeezyWTF (joined by guest host Michelle Buteau) read a letter from a listener, dissect the nuances of non-traditional relationships, and debate whether it's wise to retry an old situationship, especially when time and maturity might have changed things for both people involved.
The hosts share personal anecdotes about doubling back to significant exes, explore growth (or the lack thereof) with age, and offer two distinct perspectives on rekindling romance with someone from the past.
[07:20 – 11:42]
[11:45 – 15:00]
[19:43 – 24:40]
[22:16 – 24:03]
[24:40 – 26:45]
[27:10 – 28:06]
Candid, humorous, and unapologetically real. The hosts keep it light even discussing emotionally heavy material. Their advice alternates between tough love, practical realism, and encouragement to embrace growth and clarity.
This episode offers a multi-faceted, relatable discussion about revisiting past relationships. Mandii B and WeezyWTF (with Michelle) provide both empathy and challenge for listeners considering whether to "spin the block." They recommend self-reflection, honest communication, and clarity about what you’re truly seeking in a partner—while reminding listeners not to let nostalgia or comfort dictate relationship choices. Although they disagree at times, their dual perspectives deliver a rich, nuanced conversation for anyone wrestling with whether to give an old flame another shot.