← Decisions, Decisions
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- [00:00]
Weezy
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- [00:42]
Mandy
If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what? You've got decisions.
- [00:54]
Weezy
You've got decisions, baby. And I do too.
- [01:00]
Mandy
Oh, my God, guys, I wish you could delete that.
- [01:02]
Weezy
Well, I am just trying to come up with a jingle because I came up decisions.
- [01:07]
Mandy
Ding.
- [01:08]
Weezy
I mean, you can do that too. But that's not a jingle. Like the way these jingles be making money. Do you know how much money fudgeing Justin Timberlake made from the goddamn McDonald's jingle? Like, there is maybe some money. There is some money in jingles, Hunter. And so if anybody want to use my jingles, baby, go ahead and cut that check.
- [01:29]
Mandy
Funny about you bringing up Justin Timberlake. Someone was bringing him up yesterday and I said, oh, my God, I'm going to go see the Backstreet Boys in Vegas.
- [01:37]
Weezy
Oh, you're embarrassing. You would be. You would be somebody who. I said, you're no longer welcome because what the fudge? Oh, you should see. I am.
- [01:47]
Mandy
My point was the era.
- [01:49]
Weezy
No, bitch, it doesn't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I am very highly disappointed. Like, very. I literally am doing this thing with my friends where I play like five seconds of the intro of a Backstreet voice song and they have to know the song. Otherwise, no, bitch, you're not welcome.
- [02:06]
Mandy
Oh, you're going to go.
- [02:07]
Weezy
Oh, bitch.
- [02:07]
Mandy
Duh.
- [02:08]
Weezy
It's literally the weekend of our goddamn Vegas show. That's why when you like, you were like, do we have to go to Vegas? Oh, yeah. Bitch Whore. Hive. Anyone listening right now? If you guys want to join us in Las Vegas, we finally got a Saturday show. NHB tour.com. i'm looking to do some little where that Sunday is the Backstreet Boys concert. So maybe Thanksgiving, bring your ass to Vegas. Plan to be a whole Friday Saturday. Sunday. But Sunday we going to see the motherfucking Backstreet Boys at the Sphere. Saturday, you getting your hoes barred, all of them, at the no Holes bar tour. And then Friday is where you could just be a ho ho because you just landed and do the drugs all you want.
- [02:58]
Mandy
Being that it's in the Sphere, I keep trying to figure out, do I get fucked up on shrooms or not? Do I want to have them bring out, like, the medical wheelchair or not? Because it's a very overwhelming thing if you take a look at it. Anybody Google the Las Vegas Sphere? Craziest production. Like, it's basically a globe you sit in and it just washes over you. I'm telling you, I don't know what.
- [03:20]
Weezy
BSB about to do.
- [03:21]
Mandy
But all.
- [03:24]
Weezy
All I know is I'm. I'm hyped to see them whites. Okay? And I know I don't speak heavily of them very often on this podcast. Y' all know I just raved about Jake Gyllenhaal, but y' all are. Y' all have known my love for him already, so got to see him. And y' all know, I mean, not to toot my own horn, but AJ has actually sung me Happy birthday personally, so.
- [03:48]
Mandy
Oh, that's right.
- [03:49]
Weezy
I'm like, bitch, I'm gonna hit aj. Like, hey. I know. There was no, like, hey, let me get backstage real quick. Let me say hi to the mother. Okay, um, anyway, that's enough. We're gonna start off with a quick one. We're gonna. We're gonna drop y' all a quick two piece this Wednesday. Um, just because one is like, girl, come on, we gonna. We gonna. We gonna help you out, but there's not much to say. And then the. The next one is a little bit more vanilla. Um, so this first one, by the way, if you want us to answer your questions, go ahead and email us decisionspodmail.com. this first one is titled I Can't Get My Nut. Hey, y' all. I'm a 21 year old lesbian college student, still a virgin, and I've never really had a good experience with masturbation. I just started for the first time ever. Recently, I've tried to use my fingers, a bullet, and even the rose toy, but I haven't felt much pleasure or ever reached an orgasm. I enjoy watching porn that's made with the female gaze in mind. Stuff that actually feels intimate and focuses on women's pleasure and. And it definitely turns me on mentally, but I've never been able to physically make myself feel good. I've been numerous. Oh, I've been nervous about trying a dildo since I'm worried it might be painful. Any tips on how to get more comfortable with my body and hopefully start enjoying the experience more? And most importantly, getting my first nuts.
- [05:23]
Mandy
Well, the dildo going in is a little too advanced.
- [05:27]
Weezy
Yeah. Especially if you're identifying as a lesbian and probably haven't had any sort of penetration. I'm not sure if that is what I would recommend off the top. However, I do actually have a chapter about this. How can I expect you to please me if I can't please myself? Is the first chapter in no holds barred. And the crazy thing about it is a lot of us often assume that in masturbation, in order to receive pleasure, it has to be insertion in vagina or playing of the clit. And the fact of the matter is you could have so many other, like, erogenous zones on you that could cause you to orgasm. I don't know if you've guys gone back through the catalog, but I remember talking about receiving an ear orgasm on the podcast because this guy just breathed in my ear and bitch, my whole body, baby, was fucking for me.
- [06:29]
Mandy
I had a yoni massage, like a vulva massage without fingers inside of me was just literally the outer area of my vagina. No clitoral stimuli stimulation either. And I. I don't know if we're exploring enough on our own bodies before masturbation. So the first thing I was thinking when you said that, I was like, oh, girl, nice music. Dimly light your room and oil your body up and just touch different places.
- [06:55]
Weezy
Your body. Yep.
- [06:57]
Mandy
Like, and being. Sometimes when we're not comfortable with our body all the way, I just really, like, went through some crazy weight changes with switching birth control and whatever and feeling uncomfortable. I realized I hadn't touched my stomach and my hips in like a month because I just hated looking at them. And then finally when I did it a few nights ago, I was like, oh, my God. Like, it's been so long since I've touched my own body because I've just been uncomfortable in it. Like, we've got to. And I think that brain is one that doesn't understand their body. Like, you need to figure out how to touch yourself slowly, how to use your nails, just how to be more playful. But when it comes to penetrative toys, I've never really heard anyone say they've used those before. Actual penetrative sex with man or woman. Because you may never. I mean, you're Lesbian. So penetrative sex with a man probably won't happen. It will happen with a woman. So if you'd like to you lose your virginity with a woman in that way, I would wait until you get there. Like, just practice first knowing your vagina outside of.
- [08:02]
Weezy
I would say there's nothing wrong, though, if you want to use a dildo just to prepare yourself if you plan to get strapped by another woman. Like, I don't see. I don't see that being a bad thing. Because to be fair, I'm. I feel like one of God's chosen, but only because I also like dick. I orgasm through penetration, like I've talked about on this pod. Not really enjoying, like, oral sex as much and only really being able to come, like, with my clit by myself, honestly. But I come so hard with penetration. And maybe that could be you as well. I mean, even though you're. You're lesbian, you can absolutely still enjoy the pleasure of penetration through a dildo or a strap or any of the other toys that are present too. I'm not against that. I do like what Weezy said in feeling your whole body. And I just want to add one more tip. If you're worried about the. The painfulness that may come with a dildo because you haven't been penetrated. This is going to sound weird, but one of the ways that I come the hardest, and it's because I am such more of a visual and psychological masturbator, while I'm watching porn, I talk and make noises. So I direct the people or I act like they're my partner and I'm receiving pleasure from watching them in the act. So I kind of role play while watching porn. And that turns me on so much. Just talking. I moan, hearing myself, just hearing myself, which is ironic because I fucking talk for a living. And I know some of y' all are sick of hearing me, but hearing myself, like, guide the people in porn as if I'm in the room is something that almost immediately makes me come. And so I know we talk about sex in the physical way. There's a way that you can masturbate psychologically that will make you fucking come and bitch, go straight to sleep. That's how I go to sleep almost every night. So that would be my second bit.
- [10:08]
Mandy
Be some more sexuality going on with yourself, with your head. Like, most people that are masturbating often and doing it successfully are kind of practicing sexual thoughts more than others. Like, most times that I'm hearing women go through scenarios like this, they aren't necessarily thinking about sex as often and not finding themselves as horny doesn't mean you aren't horny. It just means like, it may not be top of mind. You actually really do have to dedicate time to finding out what you like because we push sex aside a lot in a relationship and with ourselves. Like, I can't tell you the last time I masturbated. I just haven't set out time to do it. I haven't been thinking about. It has nothing to do with the fact that I have a boyfriend. We should 100% still be, you know, pleasing ourselves. So I think we all just kind of like slip up.
- [10:59]
Weezy
Yeah, I agree. Well, I hope that we were able to help you or anyone else facing this problem. We're going to go to this second one. We're going to make it a little bit more vanilla, not so sex based. But hopefully this relates to some of you guys listening too. Hi Weezy and Mandy. Hoping you both could share some insight around being the only entrepreneur friend. For context, I'm taking over my mom's business and because she's from a different generation, that has meant full rebranding, new marketing, finding new accounts, et cetera. It's been so much work on my part, but super rewarding and I'm so excited about the future and what we're building. I just found out my three best friends are doing a Euro trip without me. And although I've come to be okay with being the friend that can't always attend things, I also can't help but feeling like I'm missing out. And at the same time, none of them understand this chapter I'm in right now. Since I'm the only entrepreneur friend, any advice on dealing with this is so appreciated. Did you deal with this while growing your businesses with gratitude? And that's the question?
- [12:14]
Mandy
Yeah, I don't know if I ever dealt with. Oh, I guess. Yeah, I guess right now. But mostly my LA friends, they're like newer friends. I think they need like more availability from me. They don't want to bother me. Like, friends feel like they're putting pressure on me. And sometimes I think it also depends. Like, okay, we've all been there, every single person. I have a bunch of friends I haven't called in weeks or months. But at the same time, we're both not putting in the effort. That doesn't really mean they go anywhere. Sometimes things can be like seasonal. Me and Vinnie just realized we hadn't been on a FaceTime in a month and we Just made the time to do it. We're tattooed on each other twice. That doesn't mean that this isn't my brother or I didn't put him inside of no holes barred. Like, I love Vinnie, but we just go through moments. People go through moments where they kind of just forget. And I think if you haven't been keeping up with your friends, now, if you were with these bitches doing brunch every Sunday and then they left you out, that's a different story. But in this context, who cares? They love you. They care about you. Maybe you guys haven't been keeping up as much as you should. Don't feel like you're sacrificing business and friends. You're only making more time for yourself and building yourself. And sometimes that free time that you may have been spending with your friends going towards you can seem like, all right, our girl's on her shit right now, but don't look at it in a bad way.
- [13:43]
Weezy
Look at it. I also want to add, because this is how I am. There's only so many times I can invite a friend before I stop. Because every time I invite them, they say no. Or every time I invite them, they can't make it. Or every time I invite them, they're late. Like, there's a. There's a few things that'll keep me from just being like, oh, this person just isn't available right now. So if these three friends have been doing that and they plan this European trip, I think you should look at the consideration as well. Like, I get that maybe you would have liked the invite, but you followed it up with, I'm okay with being the friend that always can't attend things. So I think you have to sit with what it means for you to be this entrepreneur and get into the passion of what this business entails. The fact that you're literally going to be doing a full rebranding, new marketing, and diving into this. I don't want you to hold against your friends the moments that you can't share with them at this very moment. But also understand that you are the person that hasn't been able to attend things because you're taking on this load. So. And so I think that that's. That's the number one question as well, for entrepreneurs or people who work a lot. Right. Is that work, life, balance. And so I don't want you to feel as though these friends aren't showing up for you in a time that you can't attend something that they've been able to make time for simply because now you guys don't have that same schedule. Um, I can't say that I've necessarily dealt with this only because I consider sex workers entrepreneurs. And so my entire adulthood has been filled with friends starting businesses or using their self as businesses. So I haven't really had to deal with too much of the up, up and downs of friends having a nine to five and me having a more flippant schedule.
- [15:43]
Mandy
A lot of my friends is a commodity. So you're not spending money maybe as much on branding and shit. For example, like, it's. Think of someone that's maybe doing a service. Let's say you're a closet organizer or a sex worker. These are both things that you got to show up for. Maybe you're not spending big money on, like, items or. You know what I mean? Like things you need to sell. Like, all of them could kind of look different. But maybe she's spending a lot building this new business and her friends are just trying to be respectful.
- [16:13]
Weezy
That's what I said. That's if they just didn't even invite you, it could very well be that as well. It could be a money thing. It could be your availability. I just let into availability because she literally said, I can't always attend things. So that leads me to believe that you're aware that you're in this chapter, but you've also maybe been invited to a few things and also couldn't make it. Two things can be true. I think you should express to your friends and, hey, guys, I know, I know I can't always make things, but it would just mean a lot to me to be extended the invite. Because as a friend, there could be times then, okay, we gonna invite this hoe knowing she can't come, but we still wanna consider her. So that's. That could also be a thing too. We talk about communication with relationships all the time. I think communication in friendships is just as important. And so if you're feeling left out, I'm not telling you you can't. You can't feel that way. Everyone is entitled to feel how they want, but then you need to communicate. Hey, I'm in this transitional spot. I'm. This is a lot on me right now, but it would mean a lot if I still just was extended the invite. That would be my advice to you.
- [17:20]
Mandy
Being an adult means being honest about your feelings. Like, shout out to my friends Nia and Stephanie. They both live in la. They're my friends that became friends. These bitches was Doing shit the other day, going to lunch. And they did it in the group chat, like, that we all share. And I'm laughing to myself because I'm like, oh, I already know they like, like, ah, wheezy can't come. Hahaha. But I felt included whether they know it or not, for some reason, putting me in the group chat. Them. I'm five minutes away. I'm all the way in New York. I can't be with y' all right now on Melrose. But it was kind of cute to include me because I voiced once I was jealous. Now 98% of me is being facetious. 2% of me wishes I was with my friends. However, at the end of the day when I just made that joke about being jealous or whatever, it's because I know I'm too busy to go hang out with y' all right now. But I love that my two friends found this in each other and I like just keeping up with them. So there's a world of you being like, all right, y' all, I can't make it to Europe, but, like, I need the tea. I want the updates when y' all hit Paris or wherever they're going, like, you know, letting them know something like that. Because there may be a world where they felt like you couldn't go. And they feel weird to bring it up too, because they don't want to make you feel bad. So figure out what makes you feel most comfortable as far as, like, sharing how you feel. Is it flat out making the joke so that they know it? Is it saying it? Because I know that's it's very vulnerable to tell someone. I feel left out. And I think girls can get super catty. You know, Mandy and I are 34 years old and a lot of our friends, we've had a long time, but I don't know your age. But I found I struggled sometimes with women friendships in my younger twenties that I don't anymore. If I see five of my homegirls hanging out, I don't think them hoes talking about me, you know what I'm saying? Like, when you're younger, sometimes you, you, you, you, you go through these ebbs and flows of friendship and sisterhood. Takes a while to figure out. Sometimes your real friends, it takes a while to figure out. And I think depending on what level you're at sharing it with the closest person to you in that group would. Would be helpful. Maybe not everybody, but just one. Because I really do believe women have had experiences with other women that kind of deter them from sharing their emotions. I think that's inevitable. We've all had a friend go through it, even if it hasn't been us. So, yeah, like making sure, you know, you do have a strong backing with someone so that you don't have to do this thing of keeping it inside.
- [19:53]
Weezy
I agree. And then I think just as an entrepreneur, the last tidbit of advice, like I said, would be to separate the two. Growing a business is like having a baby. So, and knowing that you have to do the full rebrand and full, full shake up of this business, think of this as a, as a brand new baby. And that's what it is. And so there has to be a way where you can separate what you want to do in your personal life and doing the needed and necessary investment to make sure that this business succeeds. And you just have to know as an entrepreneur that you're going to miss out on some trips, you're going to miss out on some events, you gonna miss out on some fucking brunches.
- [20:36]
Mandy
But I don't know what a bunch of.
- [20:38]
Weezy
You'll get to a point where this is why you're. You're working this hard and spending so much time is so that you can provide yourself that free time in the future to do all the things that you want first class would have with a lay flat. Okay, so good luck. Write us in. Hopefully you have that conversation with your friends. Thank you guys so much for writing in. If you want to send your letters in, email us decisionspodmail.com and if you want to see the full video of this, make sure you go ahead and join us over on Patreon. That's patreon.com backslash. Horrible decisions, baby. Horrible Decisions hasn't gone anywhere. You could get it for as little as $5 a month. And you get the video for this and you get an extra episode every week. So you got every Monday, Decisions, Decisions. Every Tuesday, horrible Decisions. And then every Wednesday you got decisions puts the hoe. Um, anyways, thank you guys so much. Make sure you pre order our book no Host Bard A Dual manifesto of Sexual exploration and power.
- [21:51]
Mandy
All right, Jingle bell.
- [21:52]
Weezy
All right, guys. And we will see y' all next week and on tour. NHB tour.com See you there. This is an I Heart podcast.