Decisions, Decisions - "You've Got Decisions: This White Guy Kept Me On Read?"

Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF (Ish and Hope participate) Date: October 22, 2025 Duration (content): ~02:10–29:34

Episode Overview

In this candid and humorous episode of "Decisions, Decisions," Mandii B, joined by friends Ish and Hope, explores the complexities of non-traditional relationships—focusing on communication struggles, body image, and navigating interracial and kink dynamics in modern dating. The episode features a raw retelling of Mandii's own relationship spat over food and accountability, followed by listener Q&A centering on dating a submissive white man and advice for women exploring their sexuality and dominance for the first time.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Relationship Conflicts: Food, Accountability, and Autonomy

(02:10–13:20)

• Mandii shares a story: After recent weight loss, Mandii finds herself in a small argument with her partner about post-dinner snacking (popcorn and Raisinets), feeling judged for wanting a snack (“I can’t have popcorn now?” – Mandii, 03:31).
• Discussion escalates: Her partner claims he’s invested in her health, equating their bodies to a shared responsibility. (“That’s my body too. We’re talking about having a baby…your body’s my body.” – Mandii, impersonating her partner, 03:47).
• Mandii resists being ‘kept accountable’: She’s frustrated with the implication she can't make her own choices; the conversation turns combative.
• Awkward intimacy moment: After the argument, Mandii tries to initiate makeup sex, partner declines, revealing tension remains (“I’m good actually.” – Mandii's partner, 06:50).
• Underlying issues: Both share sacrifices in the relationship; Mandii’s partner changed his diet for her but now feels Mandii is not reciprocating (“I was vegan…I changed for you.” – reported by Mandii, 06:55).
• Reflection: Group reflects on the emotional complexity of food judgment, historically unhealthy weight loss, and the mental toll of accountability in relationships (“If someone’s watching food habits, that’s going to start a weird thing in my head.” – Mandii, 10:29).

Notable Quotes

• “You wanna make the choices you wanna make, but you basically feel like you need me to indulge. And I’m not gonna indulge with you every time…” – Mandii (relating her partner’s words, 03:15)
• “I don’t need you to keep me accountable. Shut the fuck up.” – Mandii (04:04)
• “That was crazy.” – Hope (in response to the ‘take your pills’ joke, 05:44)

2. Listener Q&A: Navigating Kinky, Interracial Dating & Being Left on Read

(13:21–29:34)

Listener’s Situation

• Background: A 24-year-old Black woman, new to kink, has a promising (submissive) vibe interaction with a white guy but he hasn’t texted her back. Unsure how to reach out, she wants advice on being more forward, especially on how to pursue a sub/domme scenario given her inexperience.
• Summary: “I want to follow up...how should I proceed even if he isn’t a sub? Not going to lie, I want to fuck him, but I’ve never been so forward before.” (15:36)

Hosts’ Advice

• Mandii on first moves: She recommends being playfully dramatic to reinitiate contact, suggesting sending a cute selfie with a sarcastic “waiting by the phone” message, referencing the fun from their previous encounter (16:48–17:21).
  • “Niggas forget you’re fine. They meet people all the time.” (17:17)
• Ish on standing out: Notes men often have many numbers and may use generic nicknames, advocating for women asserting their identity (17:25–18:16).
• Discussion on labels and dominance:
  • They parse the difference between being dominant, bratty, and outright aggressive in first texts. Mandii leans towards bratty/flirty; Ish prefers a more direct, confident approach without overplaying the domme angle, especially for someone new to kink (23:02–25:13).
  • Mandii: “More than you want to be bratty. Think of the word bratty as your guide...” (23:40)
  • Ish: “Bratty to me always comes later.” (24:39)
• Practical texting advice:
  • Mandii: Flirt with a hint of ‘annoyed’ about not hearing from him, play on their sexual tension from before.
  • Ish: Keep it simple but direct; avoid launching into full dom/sub “BDSM” language with someone you’ve just met.
• General kink/dating advice: For young, inexperienced people, don’t force BDSM themes immediately—build rapport first, and assess interest/compatibility gently (26:29–27:35).
  • “I would just lead with, ‘Hey, it was really nice meeting you the other night...when can I see you again?’ Leave out the BDSM topics and conversations altogether.” – Ish (26:35)
  • “It could be tricky to lean into or look at every relationship dynamic in a BDSM way without really knowing how confident you are in where you stand in the B, the D, the S, and the M.” – Ish (27:10)

Segment Gems

• On white men and kink: Hosts lightly joke that “white guys give sub energy,” and highlight cultural differences in expectations and approaches to dominance (15:52–16:14).
  • “Sometimes I feel like also, white guys are a little bit more trepidatious, like when they meet a Black woman, because they're like, ooh, are you into me? Are you not? So then you think it’s sub energy because it’s not very dominant.” – Mandii (16:03)
• Memory and phone names: Anecdotes about generic phone nicknames (e.g., “Mandy Light Skin”), posing questions about visibility and dating in a crowded field (17:22–18:16).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |---|---|---| | 03:47 | Mandii (as boyfriend) | “That’s my body too. We’re talking about having a baby...your body’s my body.” | | 05:44 | Hope | “Whoa…that’s crazy” (reacting to Mandii’s partner suggesting she take pills to calm down) | | 16:03 | Mandii | “White guys are a little bit more trepidatious...So then you think it's sub energy because it's not very dominant.” | | 17:17 | Mandii | “Niggas forget you’re fine. They meet people all the time.” | | 24:39 | Ish | “Bratty to me always comes later… Even my main nigga now, it took me four years to be able to be a brat with him.” | | 26:35 | Ish | “I would just lead with, ‘Hey, it was really nice meeting you the other night...When can I see you again?’ Leave out the BDSM topics and conversations altogether.” | | 27:10 | Ish | “It could be tricky to lean into or look at every relationship dynamic in a BDSM way without really knowing how confident you are in where you stand in the B, the D, the S, and the M.” |

Key Takeaways

• Communication in Relationships: Accountability versus autonomy is a major tension, especially concerning health, weight, and shared life goals.
• Self-Awareness & Body Image: Mandii highlights the delicate line between support and judgment, especially after weight loss journeys rooted in negative self-image.
• Navigating New Kinks & Dating Dynamics: When exploring dominance/submission or interracial dating for the first time, start simple—flirt, connect, and build trust before leaning heavily into labels and roles.
• Being Forward in Dating: There are many ways to rekindle contact; balance playfulness, directness, and a hint of flirtatious brattiness, tailored to your comfort and the unique dynamic.
• Advice for Young Women Exploring Sexuality: Don’t rush into BDSM identity or “play” with new partners; instead, approach new relationships openly, honestly, and without pressure to define everything immediately.

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Relationship argument & body image: 02:10–13:20
• Listener’s question + advice on texting a “submissive” white guy: 13:21–29:34
• Advice on asserting identity & standing out in a crowd: 17:22–18:16
• Discussion on dominance, brattiness, and BDSM for beginners: 23:02–27:35

Tone & Style

True to the show's hallmark, the conversation is lively, unfiltered, and peppered with laughter. Mandii, Ish, and Hope mix personal storytelling, practical advice, and blunt—but deeply empathetic—commentary, always advocating self-love, honest communication, and fun along the way.

For more messy, real, and surprisingly sage dating advice, connect on Patreon and join the next candid conversation about modern romance.