You've Got Decisions: This White Guy Kept Me On Read?

Summary

---

Decisions, Decisions - "You've Got Decisions: This White Guy Kept Me On Read?"

Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF (Ish and Hope participate) Date: October 22, 2025 Duration (content): ~02:10–29:34

---

Episode Overview

In this candid and humorous episode of "Decisions, Decisions," Mandii B, joined by friends Ish and Hope, explores the complexities of non-traditional relationships—focusing on communication struggles, body image, and navigating interracial and kink dynamics in modern dating. The episode features a raw retelling of Mandii's own relationship spat over food and accountability, followed by listener Q&A centering on dating a submissive white man and advice for women exploring their sexuality and dominance for the first time.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Relationship Conflicts: Food, Accountability, and Autonomy

(02:10–13:20)

• Mandii shares a story: After recent weight loss, Mandii finds herself in a small argument with her partner about post-dinner snacking (popcorn and Raisinets), feeling judged for wanting a snack (“I can’t have popcorn now?” – Mandii, 03:31).
• Discussion escalates: Her partner claims he’s invested in her health, equating their bodies to a shared responsibility. (“That’s my body too. We’re talking about having a baby…your body’s my body.” – Mandii, impersonating her partner, 03:47).
• Mandii resists being ‘kept accountable’: She’s frustrated with the implication she can't make her own choices; the conversation turns combative.
• Awkward intimacy moment: After the argument, Mandii tries to initiate makeup sex, partner declines, revealing tension remains (“I’m good actually.” – Mandii's partner, 06:50).
• Underlying issues: Both share sacrifices in the relationship; Mandii’s partner changed his diet for her but now feels Mandii is not reciprocating (“I was vegan…I changed for you.” – reported by Mandii, 06:55).
• Reflection: Group reflects on the emotional complexity of food judgment, historically unhealthy weight loss, and the mental toll of accountability in relationships (“If someone’s watching food habits, that’s going to start a weird thing in my head.” – Mandii, 10:29).

Notable Quotes

• “You wanna make the choices you wanna make, but you basically feel like you need me to indulge. And I’m not gonna indulge with you every time…” – Mandii (relating her partner’s words, 03:15)
• “I don’t need you to keep me accountable. Shut the fuck up.” – Mandii (04:04)
• “That was crazy.” – Hope (in response to the ‘take your pills’ joke, 05:44)

---

2. Listener Q&A: Navigating Kinky, Interracial Dating & Being Left on Read

(13:21–29:34)

Listener’s Situation

• Background: A 24-year-old Black woman, new to kink, has a promising (submissive) vibe interaction with a white guy but he hasn’t texted her back. Unsure how to reach out, she wants advice on being more forward, especially on how to pursue a sub/domme scenario given her inexperience.
• Summary: “I want to follow up...how should I proceed even if he isn’t a sub? Not going to lie, I want to fuck him, but I’ve never been so forward before.” (15:36)

Hosts’ Advice

• Mandii on first moves: She recommends being playfully dramatic to reinitiate contact, suggesting sending a cute selfie with a sarcastic “waiting by the phone” message, referencing the fun from their previous encounter (16:48–17:21).
  • “Niggas forget you’re fine. They meet people all the time.” (17:17)
• Ish on standing out: Notes men often have many numbers and may use generic nicknames, advocating for women asserting their identity (17:25–18:16).
• Discussion on labels and dominance:
  • They parse the difference between being dominant, bratty, and outright aggressive in first texts. Mandii leans towards bratty/flirty; Ish prefers a more direct, confident approach without overplaying the domme angle, especially for someone new to kink (23:02–25:13).
  • Mandii: “More than you want to be bratty. Think of the word bratty as your guide...” (23:40)
  • Ish: “Bratty to me always comes later.” (24:39)
• Practical texting advice:
  • Mandii: Flirt with a hint of ‘annoyed’ about not hearing from him, play on their sexual tension from before.
  • Ish: Keep it simple but direct; avoid launching into full dom/sub “BDSM” language with someone you’ve just met.
• General kink/dating advice: For young, inexperienced people, don’t force BDSM themes immediately—build rapport first, and assess interest/compatibility gently (26:29–27:35).
  • “I would just lead with, ‘Hey, it was really nice meeting you the other night...when can I see you again?’ Leave out the BDSM topics and conversations altogether.” – Ish (26:35)
  • “It could be tricky to lean into or look at every relationship dynamic in a BDSM way without really knowing how confident you are in where you stand in the B, the D, the S, and the M.” – Ish (27:10)

Segment Gems

• On white men and kink: Hosts lightly joke that “white guys give sub energy,” and highlight cultural differences in expectations and approaches to dominance (15:52–16:14).
  • “Sometimes I feel like also, white guys are a little bit more trepidatious, like when they meet a Black woman, because they're like, ooh, are you into me? Are you not? So then you think it’s sub energy because it’s not very dominant.” – Mandii (16:03)
• Memory and phone names: Anecdotes about generic phone nicknames (e.g., “Mandy Light Skin”), posing questions about visibility and dating in a crowded field (17:22–18:16).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |---|---|---| | 03:47 | Mandii (as boyfriend) | “That’s my body too. We’re talking about having a baby...your body’s my body.” | | 05:44 | Hope | “Whoa…that’s crazy” (reacting to Mandii’s partner suggesting she take pills to calm down) | | 16:03 | Mandii | “White guys are a little bit more trepidatious...So then you think it's sub energy because it's not very dominant.” | | 17:17 | Mandii | “Niggas forget you’re fine. They meet people all the time.” | | 24:39 | Ish | “Bratty to me always comes later… Even my main nigga now, it took me four years to be able to be a brat with him.” | | 26:35 | Ish | “I would just lead with, ‘Hey, it was really nice meeting you the other night...When can I see you again?’ Leave out the BDSM topics and conversations altogether.” | | 27:10 | Ish | “It could be tricky to lean into or look at every relationship dynamic in a BDSM way without really knowing how confident you are in where you stand in the B, the D, the S, and the M.” |

---

Key Takeaways

• Communication in Relationships: Accountability versus autonomy is a major tension, especially concerning health, weight, and shared life goals.
• Self-Awareness & Body Image: Mandii highlights the delicate line between support and judgment, especially after weight loss journeys rooted in negative self-image.
• Navigating New Kinks & Dating Dynamics: When exploring dominance/submission or interracial dating for the first time, start simple—flirt, connect, and build trust before leaning heavily into labels and roles.
• Being Forward in Dating: There are many ways to rekindle contact; balance playfulness, directness, and a hint of flirtatious brattiness, tailored to your comfort and the unique dynamic.
• Advice for Young Women Exploring Sexuality: Don’t rush into BDSM identity or “play” with new partners; instead, approach new relationships openly, honestly, and without pressure to define everything immediately.

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Relationship argument & body image: 02:10–13:20
• Listener’s question + advice on texting a “submissive” white guy: 13:21–29:34
• Advice on asserting identity & standing out in a crowd: 17:22–18:16
• Discussion on dominance, brattiness, and BDSM for beginners: 23:02–27:35

---

Tone & Style

True to the show's hallmark, the conversation is lively, unfiltered, and peppered with laughter. Mandii, Ish, and Hope mix personal storytelling, practical advice, and blunt—but deeply empathetic—commentary, always advocating self-love, honest communication, and fun along the way.

---

For more messy, real, and surprisingly sage dating advice, connect on Patreon and join the next candid conversation about modern romance.

Transcript

[Mandy]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Bobby Bones]

Hey, it's Bobby from the Bobby Bones Show. I had an incredible time at this year's iHeartRadio music festival and even got the chance to hang out with Diplo and Bailey Zimmerman while I was there. How did Ashes come together? Diplo?

[Diplo]

I pulled up real quick. He was about to leave on tour. You're about to jump in your tour bus and we had like three hours.

[Bailey Zimmerman]

It was really cool. He literally just like randomly showed up to my house and I'm like, oh, hey Diplo, what are you doing? He's like, I have a song that I want to show you. And I was like, okay, you can.

[Bobby Bones]

Listen to the full episode out now, wherever you get your podcast. And big shout out to my friends at Hyundai for making this possible. Had a blast cruising around festival weekend in the all new Palisade hybrid you.

[HBCU First Look Announcer]

Don'T want to miss Actress and producer Marci Martin and top HBCU alumni in the film industry at the HBCU First look film festival happening November 6th through the 8th at Howard University. It's three days full of masterclasses, panels, networking and film screenings, all designed to elevate future storytellers. Grab your [e-mail] Download the HBCU First look app to stay on top of all updates and follow us on social media.

[Mandy]

Bcufirstlook not everybody can be good at.

[Better Picks Announcer]

Fantasy football and at Better. We understand that. That's why we're giving away a free $10 just for signing up. Download the Better App, Pick more or less on player stats, watch the games and win some cash. It's that simple. Better Picks is available in 33 states, including Texas, California and Georgia. Download the Better App today. That's better. B E T R and get a free $10. No deposit necessary. Must be 21 or older. In a jurisdiction where Better Picks operates, terms and conditions apply. Better Picks Sports just got better.

[NFL Network Announcer]

The NFL International games continue on NFL Network and here our stars come out in the morning. Week 10 Bajan Robinson and the Falcons touchdown Atlanta take on Daniel Jones and the Colts in Berlin.

[Mandy]

Fireworks in the fourth quarter.

[NFL Network Announcer]

Then in week 11, Jaden Daniels in Sanders touchdown once again, face Tua and the Dolphins in Madrid snooze off. Game on. It's Sunday morning football continues November 9th at 9:30 Eastern only on NFL Network.

[Mandy]

So we had a nice day. We went out by home. Gila, my homegirl Gila and her husband. It was his birthday. I recently lost a bunch of weight from doing a bunch of unhealthy shit. Taking these crazy pills from a gas station. That's what he called them. But it's really a health food store. But it's not English, but it's a health food store that's next to a beauty supply store on Pico. And it's got Chinese letters on it. I don't know what's in it, but it makes you not eat food. So he wasn't really happy with that and was like, I want you to get healthier habits. So whatever. I lost the weight. So we're on the couch watching Hunting Wives, and I'd go get popcorn and Raisinets and I'd bring it back. And I said, do you want some? And he looked at me like, no. It kept watching tv. I was like, oh, you want fruit or something? No, Keila, I don't need to eat right now. Mind you. I know why he said it like that, because we just had sugar fish. I don't need to eat right now. Really gives. You need to eat right now. So I'm like, hold on. So I paused the screen. I'm like, what the fuck is that? He's like, nothing. You feel judged? I'm not judging you. I said, how you know I feel judged if you wasn't judging me, Nigga, I was like, at the end of the day, we all know that I gained weight because the birth control was making me eat everything and I was craving everything. But I'm not gonna be in this place with you where I'm uncomfortable to eat a fucking snack. I fucking worked out this morning. Like, I can't have popcorn now. He's like, you wanna make the choices you wanna make, but you basically feel like you need me to indulge. And I'm not gonna indulge with you every time you need to have a snack. I don't need to eat. We just ate. You wanna have popcorn, Feel free. I was like, nah. The way that you're talking to me is like, you need to be this accountability person for me. I don't need you to be accountable. I'm my own person. This is my body. He goes, ah, that's my body too. We talking about having a baby. We're gonna be together forever. Your body's my body. If I was sitting here chain smoking cigarettes and doing crazy shit, wouldn't you be telling me, don't put certain things in my body? And I'm like, so I can't put popcorn in my body? He's like, I'm not saying it's popcorn. But if you want to choose to eat late and do certain things, I'm going to make sure to always hold you accountable when this is the stuff you said you don't want to do. So then we got into this thing of, nigga, I don't need you to keep me accountable. Shut the fuck up. He's like, I'm not going to shut the fuck up. When two months ago you were depressed, talking about, oh, my God, I hate myself. No, I'm going to make sure you stay on point. Because now you're in this place of loving yourself again. So that made me feel bad. Cause I'm like, I always love myself. I always been a bad bitch. Even when I had a little 20 pounds on. So then we start arguing. We start arguing. We start arguing. And, you know, he's very quiet, is he not?

[Hope]

Yes.

[Mandy]

I never heard this man. Very quiet. So he's sitting there and I'm eating the popcorn, and he goes, you know what I think you want? I think you would like a man who just says yes to you. I think you want a yes man. Oh, I lost it. Don't tell me what type of nigga I need. Nigga, who the fuck you need? Now you want a bitch who don't eat. That's what you want. Okay, go to one of holes. And I don't need you to tell me what I need because I got you. So what the fuck you gonna do? Fuck you. So now I'm mad. So now I get up. And now, you know when they start laughing, when you get mad. And that really pissed me off. So I'm.

[Ish]

That's what I do. You already know that's my shit.

[Mandy]

I'm like, oh, you about to. I'm about to whoop his ass. So I go in the kitchen. I. I start washing dishes. I'm doing something else. And he gets in the cabinet. Now he's going through the cabinet. Now there's vitamins and shit in there, Advil, whatever, and some of my stuff. And he said. I said, what do you want? I'm just looking for those pills that you need to calm you down.

[Hope]

Whoa.

[Mandy]

I just.

[Ish]

Fighting words. Whoa, that's crazy.

[Mandy]

I said, excuse me? Yeah, that's. That's what I need. I don't know what it's called because, you know, Xanax is also like, zypos up. Anyway, so I wanted to get mad, but then I started laughing because I was like, oh, he really think he funny. I start laughing. He started laughing. Now he go on the couch I go sit on the couch, Popcorn's still there and his boxers are on and his legs open so I see the tip of the dick. So I was like, okay, let me suck it, let's make up. I put my hand towards his dick. He goes, I'm good, actually. What? You, you fucking hoe, nigga. We fuck all the time, four times a day and these other hoes and now you don't want no pussy. I was like, so now you don't want to fuck me? He said, I just realized we are in this relationship because I've changed my eating habits for you. I was vegan. I didn't eat red meat. I never ate this fried shit all the time. And. And so basically if I never changed that, we wouldn't be together. So now I'm trying to go back into healthy shit and you won't let me. So what the fuck? I'm like, okay, so now you want to tell me you want to go be with a bitch who vegan.

[Ish]

Go be with a biggie, bitch. Yes.

[Mandy]

So now I'm mad. He's like, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that I've changed something for you and you don't want to change anything. I don't need to change anything. I'm going to eat fucking popcorn. You don't need to eat it. He's like, that's not true. If I started this relationship and I was actually raw plant based vegan like I was, we would never be together because of the way you like to eat. I'm just telling you I've made changes. I'm like, so basically you telling me I need to change. So I'm like, you know what, you're pissing me off. So Gila's husband, because it was his birthday that night, going to a strip club. So I hit the group chat with all four of us. I'm like, hey, are we all gonna go have drinks? That was an hour. When we wasn't fighting, I was like, let's go to Dimala. He's like, I'm going with the boys. So he used to ask mommy, oh, you want to come? I was like, you know what? Because we don't argue and kick each other out or do any of that. I was like, I think you should go to strip club with Nag. Go have a good time so we could have a little space. Now I was flying to LA the next day because this was only a few days ago. So he started getting dressed and then I got out the shower and I was like, I can't believe you're going.

[Hope]

What the fuck is wrong with you?

[Ish]

Everything, bruh.

[Mandy]

I could. That's crazy. I want you to go, but I also just feel like I'm mad because we were supposed to have a fucking date night. But you ain't shit, bruh.

[Hope]

You're crazy.

[Mandy]

I know.

[Ish]

This is every story. You're crazy.

[Mandy]

So now he's looking at me. I'm like, I'm not saying that you shouldn't go to strip club. It's just that I wanted to go out. And I'm like, really mad because this is all a bullshit fight. And now you're going to strip club where I'm going to be at home reading a fucking book. So then he looking at me like, I don't know what to do. So I called Brianna. She was out with one of her gay friends.

[Ish]

I'm like, where you at? She's like, I'm not. We're just.

[Mandy]

We're at the house. I'm like, let's go out. Then I'm like, we're in bed right now. Hang up on this bitch. I get my book. I'm sitting there with Nina. Now this nigga getting up and he putting on his good little fit too. The fucking tabbies and shit and his little fucking shirt. Fuck you. So he comes over to give me a kiss, and I'm like, ugh, I hate him. Whatever. So he's gone for 30 minutes. They only text each other, I love you. I'm like, all right, we're gonna make it. He comes home, and it wasn't lately, but whatever time it was, he want to fuck. And I'm just like, no, because we're in a fight, right? And I'm sleep n you. Whoa.

[Ish]

So then, bruh, when I heard this the first time, I was just like, you know, I can't even say that. And this is why I'm not saying nothing. Now I'm gonna let the audience make all the faces for me, bro. What? What?

[Hope]

You dead ass.

[Ish]

Oh, she did that.

[Mandy]

How was I supposed to fuck him at five in the morning when I was sleeping?

[Hope]

Nigga, all the shit leading up to that is, bruh, you told him shit was all you. Like, usually an argument, there's like two sides. And, like, one person's a little unreasonable.

[Mandy]

I will tell you my.

[Hope]

The other person, this whole shit was just.

[Mandy]

Well, I will tell you why I reacted this way. He ain't do a single thing about some reason a single thing. Did he not. Why are you laughing? At me because I'm getting food out. You gotta remember, bruh, I just lost this weight.

[Ish]

But if he just also, as a partner dealt with someone who was depressed because they were overweight, there's a thing to where, okay, well, you finally are in a good place now. I can see where I don't want you to be depressed because you feel overweight again.

[Mandy]

Now that of course, is why he's doing that, and I understand that. But I can't get to a place where I start hiding truth from you. Feeling judged and feeling like shit.

[Hope]

He ain't say nothing. He gave you a little eye roll and said, okay.

[Ish]

And he also said, ok, I don't want the popcorn with you. You eat it. But I don't want to eat just because you eat it.

[Hope]

But you felt the way, right?

[Mandy]

But anyone's taking into account that if someone's watching food habits, like that's going to start a weird thing in my head. First of all, I already did some unhealthy shit to get here, okay? If we're going to be honest about it, being in a place where you're feeling guilty about food. And I'm now like, bro, I'm working out a lot, A lot. I'm really trying my best to not only maintain the weight, but cut up. Like, I've never taken creatine and macros. Did all this shit, counted things before I got a food scale. One would think it's for cocaine. It's not. It's for food in my house. And you can got. You've got to understand what it's like because you were dating a vegan and she changed. So imagine if it's like you started looking at her different or she started looking at you like it doesn't feel good.

[Hope]

Yeah, but he didn't say anything to make you change. He just said, hey, I'm not judge.

[Ish]

In this, in popcorn and rice.

[Mandy]

But the look and the whole thing of, I mean, you guys could take it how you want. But I don't believe he wasn't. He was judging me about the food.

[Hope]

But he's. It's more. It's coming from a place like, hey, I'm disappointed that you're making. Choosing to do things that you know is going to make you feel bad.

[Mandy]

Okay. That's actually what really hurts my feelings the most. I'm allowed to have balance and indulge.

[Hope]

And he's allowed to feel disappointed.

[Mandy]

No, he's not. I. All I do is have popcorn watching a movie with you.

[Ish]

But everything, if you just 8:30.

[Mandy]

It wasn't like I was.

[Hope]

You just ate food and now you're about to consume food that has no nutritional.

[Mandy]

So when you go to dinner in a movie, do you not get popcorn after the dinner? What's wrong with me having popcorn?

[Hope]

I personally usually don't.

[Mandy]

So, like, I'm dead.

[Hope]

There's nothing wrong.

[Mandy]

But I really don't think there's anything wrong with having a snack or indulging in something as long as you're living and eating healthy. So to me, now that, like, mind you, for the last two months, while losing the weight, bro, I've completely changed my diet. Like I did intermittent fasting. I only ate between 11 to 7. Like, it was really, really hard.

[Hope]

Okay.

[Mandy]

And not even drinking alcohol one second.

[Hope]

So he has two options. He can either just ignore you making what in his eyes is a bad decision. And I think you would agree would be a bad.

[Mandy]

Yeah.

[Hope]

Food decision.

[Mandy]

No, actually, no. So that's. That is where the length. That's where the wires are crossing in the argument. I don't think having popcorn is bad now that I'm at a healthier.

[Hope]

And Raisinets.

[Ish]

No, I think.

[Mandy]

I don't care if I had a fucking slice of pizza.

[Ish]

But that's.

[Mandy]

I think you're allowed to have balance. It's like, so then why not judge somebody for drinking alcohol late at night?

[Ish]

You just got a little taste of the horrible Decisions Patreon. But why stop there? Tap in. For the full, uncut and way nastier episodes over on patreon, go to patreon.com horribledecisions and and unlock all the messy tea, wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. And now here's yous've Got Decision.

[Mandy]

If you would like to have us answer your questions, if you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?

[Ish]

You've got Decisions. You've got decisions.

[Mandy]

What's up with y'? All? It's a hump day. This is our you got Decisions, our segment that we made an episode for you every single week. We answer one of your questions you send to us. If you want to get your question prioritized, you got to DM it to us on patreon patreon.com backslash horrible decisions where the show never died.

[Ish]

Or you can also send us your [e-mail] now we're going to get right into it this week because we're not going to hold you too long. This actually comes from a Patreon member who, right?

[Mandy]

Oh, Lord.

[Ish]

Hey, girlies. I'll keep this as short as I can, but you both have helped me in my journey into my womanhood as I approach 24 years old. Before I drop my question, I'd appreciate any general advice you'd give to someone my age. I'd also love advice from the both of you.

[Mandy]

Okay.

[Ish]

I met this guy as a server at a celebrity chef restaurant in D.C. i'm a black woman from Miami, thick as fuck, and the best way I could tell describe him is as a skinny but cultured white guy. Long story short, we hung out after his shift, and he gave me submissive vibes. When I gave him my number, he told me to Apple pay myself whatever I wanted. And the convo after was so flirty, and he's really funny. I've never fucked a white guy or honestly had anything other than vanilla sex and toys. However, I know that I'm kinkier than I let on, and all I would need is a man to make me feel safe enough to explore that. Naturally, I'm more of a sub, but he gave me. He wanted to be my sub.

[Mandy]

Yo, bitch.

[Ish]

He was saying things like, whatever I call him, he'll respond, I'm his queen, etc. Anyways, that was literally all 24 hours of our encounter, and I want to follow up. He didn't text me the next day, so I want to reach out because I want to explore this more. How should I proceed even if he isn't a sub? Not going to lie, I. I want to fuck him, but I've never been so forward before. Any advice is helpful.

[Mandy]

I feel like Mandy's looking at me because he's white, and I don't know what to say.

[Ish]

However, I feel like that's why she think he a sub, because I think white men give me sub all the time. Because I ain't never been with a white man. To me, I always feel like I could just rough up a white man.

[Mandy]

Sometimes I feel like also, white guys are a little bit more trepidatious, like when they meet a black woman, because they're like, ooh, are you into me? Are you not? So then you think it's sub energy because it's not very dominant, but. Hmm.

[Ish]

By the way, fuck you for saying that he gave you his Apple pay and told you to Apple pay yourself, whatever. And you ain't tell us how much you Apple paid yourself because that would let me know what you think of.

[Mandy]

Yourself, because I'm also. That's what makes Me think, okay, she's trying to come to him with like this, how much it's going to be to sub B R s out because the AFO pay comment is throwing me.

[Ish]

It's not giving me that she wants the sex work because she said he didn't hit me the next day. But not going to lie, I still want to fuck him. So it's not giving that she wants to charge at all or make it any type of thing. I think she said that to allude to his submissiveness.

[Mandy]

So whenever I haven't gotten a text back, I'm not going for it. Works every single time. I've never been rejected by this, but it's not necessarily something I would always recommend. But I like to be a little fake dramatic. I'll say things like, waiting by the phone for you to text me has been really annoying, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I'll send a cute picture of me looking sad. And then they always have to respond because here's the thing. Niggas forget you fine. They meet people all the time. One of my homeboys told me he gets so many numbers that sometimes he has to write in the notes, like what they had on. So he remembered a bitch.

[Ish]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I had to. My boyfriend, I had to change my name in his phone. He had Mandy Light Skin. I said, I don't like this name. And I said, and how many Mandy's do you have? Oh, none. So then I should be able to stand alone. You putting Mandy Light Skin is crazy, bro. I made him change my name on.

[Mandy]

And off for years that I talked about on the show. My name was Gigi Blue in his phone. And I said what? He's like, the day I met you, you was wearing a blue bathing suit at Soho House and you told me your name was Gigi. I was like, bro, Mandy light skin is crazy. You can. No, Gigi, blue is worse.

[Ish]

No, it's not. Why are you talking about my skin color? I felt away. And you couldn't have put thick ass, pretty smile, blonde hair. Like, nigga, light skin is so generic.

[Mandy]

I saw Gila podcast once, bruh.

[Ish]

I'm sorry, light skin is generic as. And I felt like he didn't really know know me very well.

[HBCU First Look Announcer]

You don't want to miss actress and producer Marci Martin and top HBCU alumni in the film industry at the HBCU First Look Film Festival, happening November 6th through the 8th at Howard University. It's three days full of masterclasses, panels, networking and film screenings all designed to elevate future storytellers. Grab your [e-mail], download the HBCU First look app to stay on top of all updates and follow us on social media at HBCU First Look.

[Bobby Bones]

Hey, it's Bobby from the Bobby Bones show. I had an incredible time at this year's iHeartRadio music festival and even got the chance to hang out with Diplo and Bailey Zimmerman while I was there. Check this out. So how did Ashes come together? Diplo?

[Diplo]

Well, I kind of briefly met Bailey, I think at Morgan's show, one of them. And I think he's just a guy in Nashville. He's cool as hell and I had a new kind of sound I wanted to do and I think he's the one guy that could carry it. And I came to his house, I had a show, I pulled up real quick, he was about to leave on tour, you're about to jump in your tour bus and we had like three hours play the record for him. We kind of like got a scratch and then he handled it on his own on the road.

[Bailey Zimmerman]

Yeah, it was really cool. He really just like randomly showed up to my house and I'm like, oh hey Diplo, what are you doing? He's like I have a song that I want to show you. And I was like, okay. And then now we're here playing it live.

[Bobby Bones]

You can listen to the full episode out now wherever you get your podcasts and big shout out to my friends at Hyundai for making this possible. Had a blast cruising around festival weekend in the all new Palisade hybrid.

[Annabe Sofa Advertiser]

Time for a sofa upgrade. Visit washablesofas.com and discover Annabe where designer style meets budget friendly prices. With sofas starting at $699, Anabe brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly. Perfect for both small and large spaces, Anibe is the only machine washable sofa inside and out. Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy. Liquid simply slides right off. Designed for custom comfort, our high resilience foam lets you choose between a sink in feel or a supportive memory foam blend. Plus our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years. Don't compromise quality for price. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30 day money back guarantee. Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns. Shop [e-mail] Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Better Picks Announcer]

Have you ever turned $1 into $10,000? I doubt it, but now you can. On Better Picks. Download the Better app, pick more or less on player stats, watch the games, and win some cash. It's that simple. Better Picks is available in 33 states, including Texas, California, and Georgia. Download the Better App today. That's better. B E T R and get a free $10. No deposit necessary. Must be 21 or older. In a jurisdiction where Better Picks operates, terms and conditions apply. Better Picks. Sports just got better.

[Mandy]

Well, here's the thing. For the text, if you want to, you gotta start off gate the flirt. The first gotta be, whether it be the emoji. The emojis gotta have the tongue. It's gotta be, oh yeah, you gotta get the emoji. It's gotta be something that happened that night. If you're trying to lean into like the sexual energy, you gotta bring the sexual energy because for the most part men are pretty much gonna try to be respectful because they're all scared of getting me tud right now. So it's the gif, it's the photo of you. It's a sexy moment from that night or even saying something like bringing it back. I can't think of what you wrote because I'm really hungry. My brain's broken. But whatever he was saying to you that night, be like, remember when you xyz, how come we haven't followed up on that, I'm ready things like that, that it's so hard for us.

[Ish]

And I think that that's the, that's actually the, the first part. You said that you're normally sub leaning into dominance. Looks like you taking that first step then, like in the most subtle way. I think women often look at being submissive as being the one that is getting chased. And in this essence, if he didn't hit you back and bitch, if you want that dick and you want a little pink, you don't have to go get it. You got to go get it. And what that looked like is you hitting him up and being like, hey, so when's your next day off? Because I'm trying to see you. Where are you taking me? I think that's what you should also lean into. Don't be too dominant to where it seemed like you trying to take him out. If he don't already lay with like Apple Pay, lean into that. That might be a part of his kick. He might be, he might want to be financially dominated Something good.

[Mandy]

A piece of advice that you just gave. I was thinking about it when you were talking is you said don't be too dominant.

[Ish]

No, I didn't say don't be too dominant.

[Mandy]

Don't be too much. You did.

[Ish]

No, no, no, no. I said in terms of if you think he's a sub. I didn't say that. I said you got to lean into the dominance. And what I'm saying is to make sure that. And that's why I was leaning into the fin dom of it. If he pull apple pay. What I was going to say was that you should tell him, when are you taking me out? I'd like to go here. Don't be like, don't ask him to go out. Like, I was going to lean into being full fledged dominant. If you want to be dominant, not outside of taking him out, be like, so when you taking me out, I'm free to stay.

[Mandy]

You taking me out. Here's a better thing to start off with. When I I heard you saying don't be too something, I was going to say don't be too forthcoming. More than you want to be bratty. Think of the word bratty as your guys for how you'll start off with being dominant. Because if you're not naturally that bitch, it can come off kind of weird or you'll go too hard or it just won't feel natural. Definitely be bratty girl. Bratty is a part of dominating and you can amp it up once he gives it back to you. So maybe like she really don't know how to start. So I would definitely start off with one the text. Got to be annoyed with him in some way. But sexually flirting, annoyed that he hasn't hit you. Annoyed that he didn't follow up on something from that date. Also, like Mandy said, recommending you need to be telling me XYZ where we're going. It's been 48 hours. Like, amp up the flirting with the brattiness. I haven't had a man yet that doesn't like my little brat shit. But that's only when men are super attracted to you and it's very clear. Oh yeah.

[Ish]

No, you can't just be it that so I wouldn't lead someone. I. I'm fine with being a brat once you get to know someone. Like, my advice would not be to be a brat out the gate. Which is why I'm like, just be dominant and forthcoming. Like, when you taking me out? When am I seeing you like and not making it seem like you're asking him out, like, oh, my God, I can't. Like, I would just be dominant in. In that way. Bratty to me always comes later. I don't get to show my bratty ways. Like, even my main nigga now. It took me four years to be able to be a brat with him to where I felt comfortable that it would result in. In what I wanted from him.

[Mandy]

I guess brat looks different to us.

[Ish]

So to me, Brad looks different for niggas. Like, to me, Brady, especially in an era where all these niggas complain about a bitch asking for too much or.

[Mandy]

To saying that I think being dominant and being too demanding can look different to men too. So I guess that's why we have two different opinions on that.

[Ish]

Like, I think, yeah. So there you go. You got two different options to go. You could be a brat, or you could be the dom that you want to be with the sub, or you could be the dom brat. Which at the time, it hasn't worked for me. That's more subby. So to me, I guess that's why I'm leaning on her being stronger, because she said he gave off sub vibes. I honestly think too, before leaning into all this BDSM terms, which a lot of people, I guess, like to do now, you really don't know this nigga. You literally said you met him at a restaurant. You don't know him. You don't know how he's in the bedroom. You don't know technically how he wants to show up in any sort of relationship. So honestly, I would just lead with the, hey, it was really nice meeting you the other night. I don't want us to be strangers, so don't be a stranger. When can I see you again? Leave out the BDSM topics and conversations altogether. I know we led very sexually, and again, I think that those are things that unless you're meeting someone in the lifestyle on the scene or have a rapport with them, some of these things could be like, off put.

[Mandy]

Ish.

[Ish]

So then I would just say not taking a step into bdsm. Out the gate. Second time you got damn text. This nigga literally just not a nigger because he white, but literally just express that you're interested, you really liked his energy and you want to see him again. How soon can you see him again? That removes you being too dominant. It removes the brightness of it and you coming off as all the things that men are also sharing that they don't like at the moment. So I would say for anyone listening at 24 years old, if you aren't really sure the space that you're in in terms of bdsm, it could be tricky to lean into or look at every relationship dynamic in a BDSM way without really knowing how confident you are in where you stand in the B, the D, the S, and the M. That would be like my full fledged advice to also, considering that you're 24 and you think you're a sub, never been a dom, that would be my advice to you overall. And then you can lean into the other things that Weezy and I said later on once. You actually continue seeing this nigga?

[Mandy]

Yes. Breaking that first text ice is tough. The other day we were at a table. Actually, it was that same Fashion week table where I was bitching about Obey. My homeboy was like, yo, we ran into someone and he was like, damn, that was like one of my top top three. I was like, nigga, you said I was on your top three. Pussy, that was your top. Like, who the fuck is one and two? He's like, all right, maybe she was. And I'm like, so what are you gonna do? How do you, like, hit her up? You're in the same city. You both don't live here. He lives in London. Like, hit this bitch up. So he's like, how do I do this? So we're now all going around the table because their last interaction wasn't necessarily the best.

[Ish]

Okay.

[Mandy]

He's like, where do I go from here? And I'm like, in my head. You gotta go basic. It was good seeing you. You've been on my mind. Next person.

[Ish]

Definitely basic.

[Mandy]

Next person's like, say, think about the last time.

[Ish]

Miss that pussy.

[Mandy]

That nigga. Don't worry. Did the slam. He go, that don't work. That don't work. Good seeing you again with the heart works. And I'll tell you why, period. Don't.

[Ish]

I don't want a nigga depending on for him to go straight to, I miss that pussy or I miss how that pussy feels. And all these that are getting it now. Do too, nigga. Like, make me feel as a woman, Miss. Because of my presence, not because of my pussy.

[Mandy]

Love it bad.

[Ish]

We. I know already. I know.

[Mandy]

Thanks. I know now what else you should know is that there is more content from you. And you can also see this on video. All you have to do is go to patreon.com backslash horrible decisions to get the tea, to get the views, to see how cute we are, and to send in your question to us and we're gonna give it to you straight. Include a picture too. I want to see what look like.

[Ish]

And thank you guys so much for tuning in to yet another episode. You got decisions, Hope.

[Mandy]

Bye, y'. All.

[Ish]

See you next week. Pump Day. Bye.

[HBCU First Look Announcer]

You don't want to miss Actress and producer Marci Martin and top HBCU alumni in the film industry at the HBCU First look film festival happening November 6th through the 8th at Howard University. It's three days full of masterclasses, panels, networking and film screenings, all designed to elevate future storytellers. Grab your [e-mail], download the HBCU First look app to stay on top of all updates and follow us on social media at hbcufirstlook.

[Bobby Bones]

Hey, it's Bobby from the Bobby Bones Show. I had an incredible time at this year's iHeartRadio music festival and even got the chance to hang out with Diplo and Bailey Zimmerman while I was there. How did Ashes come together? Diplo?

[Diplo]

I pulled up real quick. He was about to leave on tour. You're about to jump in your tour bus and we had like three hours.

[Bailey Zimmerman]

It was really cool. He really just like randomly showed up to my house. I'm like, oh, hey Diplo, what are you doing? He's like, I have a song that I want to show you. And I was like, okay, you can.

[Bobby Bones]

Listen to the full episode out now, wherever you get your podcasts. And big shout out to my friends at Hyundai for making this possible. Had a blast cruising around festival weekend in the all new Palisade hybrid.

[Mandy]

Do you like free money?

[NFL Network Announcer]

Well, today's your lucky day. Better Picks is offering a free $10.

[Mandy]

Just for signing up. Download the Better app, pick more or less on your favorite player's stats, watch.

[NFL Network Announcer]

The games and win some cash. It's that simple. Better picks available in 33 states, including.

[Mandy]

Texas, California and Georgia. Download the Better App today.

[NFL Network Announcer]

That's Better Betr and get a free $10.

[Mandy]

No deposit necessary.

[NFL Network Announcer]

Must be 21 or older.

[Mandy]

In a jurisdiction where Better Picks operates.

[NFL Network Announcer]

Terms and conditions apply.

[Mandy]

Better Picks Sports just got better.

[NFL Network Announcer]

The NFL International games continue on NFL Network and here our stars come out in the morning. Week 10, Bajan Robinson and the Falcons take on Daniel Jones and the Colts in Berlin.

[Mandy]

Fireworks in the fourth quarter.

[NFL Network Announcer]

Then in week 11, Jaden Daniels and the Commanders took down one again. Face Tua and the Dolphins in Madrid. Snooze off. Game on. It's Sunday morning Football continues November 9th at 9:30 Eastern only on NFL Network.

[Mandy]

This is an I heart podcast.