You've Got Decisions: To Leave, Or Not To Leave?

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Decisions, Decisions" Episode: You've Got Decisions: To Leave, Or Not To Leave? Release Date: July 2, 2025 Hosts: Mandii B and WeezyWTF Produced By: The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts

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Introduction

In this episode of "Decisions, Decisions," hosts Mandii B and WeezyWTF delve into the intricate and emotionally charged topic of whether to stay in or leave a relationship fraught with significant challenges. The episode, titled "You've Got Decisions: To Leave, Or Not To Leave?", addresses the complexities that arise when a partner faces serious health issues, specifically cancer, and how it impacts intimacy and the overall relationship dynamic.

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Listener's Dilemma: A 37-Year-Old's Struggle

At the core of this episode is a heartfelt question from a listener:

"Hi. I'm a new listener and have enjoyed listening to your pod. It helps break up my boring ass days at work. So thank you. I'm writing today for some insight on what to do with my relationship... I'm a 37 year old female and my partner is 54, male. We've been together for two and a half years. He's recently battled stage two prostate cancer... Since the surgery, we haven't had any vaginal sex. He hasn't had an erection since before the surgery... I've been celibate three times prior to this for more than a year each time, but that was by my choice."

(Timestamp: [02:21])

The listener expresses her deep frustration and emotional turmoil over the deteriorating intimacy in her relationship following her partner’s battle with prostate cancer. She grapples with the guilt of potentially leaving him, fearing she'll be labeled as the one who abandoned a cancer patient, yet she yearns for the intimacy that has vanished since his surgery.

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Hosts' Response and Discussion

Initial Reaction and Empathy

Mandii and Weezy begin by acknowledging the gravity of the situation. Weezy emphasizes the importance of considering whether the relationship aligns with the listener’s long-term vision, especially given the added strain of health issues.

Weezy: "If this isn't someone that you see yourself long standing, staying with, to me. I hate, I want the guilt."
(Timestamp: [08:22])

Mandii echoes the sentiment, highlighting the need for grace and understanding towards someone undergoing such a traumatic experience.

Mandii: "So it's like, I think maybe giving Grace to the person that's going through something way more traumatic because maybe this isn't the best version of himself."
(Timestamp: [08:42])

Setting Boundaries and Communication

The hosts stress the importance of setting clear boundaries and communicating needs effectively. They suggest establishing a timeframe to address issues rather than prolonging discomfort.

Weezy: "How long do you extend that grace?"
(Timestamp: [08:51])

Mandii: "I would set a time frame from when I'm acknowledging that they're doing something wrong."
(Timestamp: [08:53])

They advocate for direct communication about how the partner's behavior affects the relationship, emphasizing that it's not solely about sex but about the overall connection and mutual support.

Mandii: "I need more connection. And the reason you need to make sure you say it's not about sex is because that's the literal thing that he can't do."
(Timestamp: [14:00])

Balancing Compassion and Self-Care

Mandii and Weezy explore the delicate balance between being compassionate towards a partner’s health struggles and prioritizing one’s own emotional and physical needs. They discuss the potential for continued dissatisfaction and the emotional toll it can take.

Mandii: "I need more connection... that's his reality now. And he may have more grumpier or more grumpier days than not because of his health."
(Timestamp: [20:34])

Weezy underscores the importance of self-preservation, encouraging listeners to consider their own well-being and to make decisions that honor their needs without succumbing to societal pressures or guilt.

Weezy: "When you're young, sometimes you gotta choose yourself, bro."
(Timestamp: [20:35])

Challenging Societal Narratives

The hosts confront societal expectations surrounding relationships, particularly the stigmas associated with being unmarried or without children later in life. They advocate for personal agency and rejecting harmful narratives that dictate one’s worth based on marital or familial status.

Weezy: "The narrative that you're old, without a wife or a husband does not mean that you a fucked up person or that you suck or that you're unwanted."
(Timestamp: [21:32])

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Personal Anecdotes and Broader Reflections

Throughout the episode, Mandii shares personal stories about her parents’ long-term marriage and the sacrifices made in the name of love and partnership. She reflects on the enduring commitment required in relationships, especially when faced with life-altering circumstances.

Mandii: "This to me, is when you can... be selfless."
(Timestamp: [18:07])

Weezy adds insights about the unpredictability of health conditions and the importance of realistic expectations in relationships, reiterating that enduring love must adapt to changing realities.

Weezy: "Cancer comes back even after you beat it sometimes. Like, it's a very big possibility."
(Timestamp: [20:34])

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Conclusion and Final Advice

Mandii and Weezy conclude by reinforcing the listener’s autonomy in making difficult relationship decisions. They emphasize that choosing to leave a relationship out of self-care is valid and that maintaining one’s mental and emotional health should take precedence over societal or self-imposed obligations.

Weezy: "If it doesn't work for you, leave. And I think that we have to as people be fine with just leaving people because we don't want to deal with their health."
(Timestamp: [26:14])

They advocate for honest self-assessment and courage to make tough choices, reminding listeners that it's possible to support a partner while also honoring one's own needs.

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Notable Quotes

• WeezyWTF: "When you're young, sometimes you gotta choose yourself, bro."
  (Timestamp: [20:35])

• Mandii B: "I need more connection. And the reason you need to make sure you say it's not about sex is because that's the literal thing that he can't do."
  (Timestamp: [14:00])

• WeezyWTF: "The narrative that you're old, without a wife or a husband does not mean that you a fucked up person or that you suck or that you're unwanted."
  (Timestamp: [21:32])

---

Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Mandii and Weezy encourage listeners to engage further by submitting their own letters for advice and to join their Patreon community for exclusive content. They also promote their book, "No Holds Barred: A Dual Manifesto of Sexual Exploration and Power," celebrating its success and urging listeners to share photos with the book to be featured on their platforms.

Mandii B: "Go buy the book 'No Holds Barred, a Dual Manifesto of Sexual Exploration and Power,' and stay tuned."
(Timestamp: [26:30])

The episode provides a candid and empathetic exploration of the difficult decision to stay or leave a relationship affected by serious health issues, offering listeners both practical advice and emotional support.

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Tags: #RelationshipAdvice #HealthAndRelationships #IntimacyIssues #DecisionMaking #SelfCare #CancerSurvivorship

Transcript

[A]

This is an Iheart podcast if you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?

[B]

You've got decisions. It's another hump day. It's another you got decisions. Babe, babe, babe, babe. Y' all will hear about that later. Um, anyways, welcome to another your Got Decisions, y' all. Our book is out.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

It's literally out. You can literally if you don't have it yet. Bit too late. But you. There's always time. You can get it now.

[A]

Also, I've been telling people my stories. If you're in the store, if you don't order it online, if you go to the store, please send us what it looks like in the store. Is it new and noteworthy? Is it in the sex and psychology section? Because we're number one on Amazon.

[B]

Yeah, medical psychology, General sexual health as well.

[A]

I was like.

[B]

I'm like, yeah. All the different categories are really interesting that we're being put into on Amazon.

[A]

Wait, let me click on it and just see. Just so you know, it's crazy. No, no holds barred has been out now for how many hours?

[B]

Well, while we're recording this, it's release date. But when y' all hear this, it's been out for a whole week.

[A]

Number one new release in sex instruction.

[B]

Yeah, uh huh.

[A]

We'll take that. What else? Number one in new releases.

[B]

Okay, I'll take that one.

[A]

I'll take that one for sure. Then there's literature and fiction in erotica. Take that. We're number two. Some other fuck nigga, we don't know. Number one, we number two in erotica releases and some other medical shit. Medical. Wait till they open it up.

[B]

Medical. Well, we do talk about anatomy.

[A]

Maybe medicinal.

[B]

We talk. No, we talk anatomy. That's science.

[A]

Sure, sure.

[B]

But anyways, y' all do Holds bars. A dual manifesto, sexual exploration and power is out. Not only do we want to see what our books look like on the shelves, when you're going to the bookstores. If y' all can please take a picture with our book and send it to me. Only if you want to repost it over the next couple weeks, I'm going to just be posting all of the Whorehive members with their books on our Decisions decisions page. So please, please, please, if you have the book, take a picture with it, smile, be cute and send that to me. Bi. Put it in the tits.

[A]

Actually just take it like this.

[B]

No. Cause we can't post it like that.

[A]

But I can do Something else with it.

[B]

Here we go. All right. Well, this week I thought it was only right to read this question from our listener because sounds very close to a chapter in Weezy's book. When do you know you stayed too long? Well, this one says, my question is to leave or not to leave. Hi. I'm a new listener and have enjoyed listening to your pod. It helps break up my boring ass days at work. So thank you. I'm writing today for some insight on what to do with my relationship. Mm, Lord, here we go. I'm a 37 year old female and my partner is 54, male. We've been together for two and a half years. He's recently battled stage two prostate cancer. He opted to have the surgery instead of chemo, which I wasn't a fan of. The recovery time for the surgery is extremely slow. Prior to his diagnosis, we had the best sex life. It was sexy, spontaneous, and freaky as fuck. Since the surgery, we haven't had any vaginal sex. He hasn't had an erection since before the surgery in November of 2024. That was the last time we had sex. I've been celibate since then. For context, I've been celibate three times prior to this for more than a year each time, but that was by my choice.

[A]

How old is she?

[B]

Jesus. 37. Surgery was seven months ago and he is in remission, which I'm so happy about. He finished physical therapy a couple of months ago, but hasn't continued to do any exercises at home like he should. You know how black men are. If they feel they are better, then they are. But he doesn't understand. He's healing from the inside out. For the first few months, he would pleasure me with his hands, mouth and toys. It's been about two months since he's done any of that. I would even suck his soft dick just so he wouldn't feel left out. I've tried to explain to him that I'm in need of intimacy, and intimacy can be more than sex. I can't remember the last time he's kissed me or held my hand. On top of the lack of intimacy, he's gotten increasingly grumpier and rude. Well, duh, bitch.

[A]

Cause he ain't.

[B]

He ain't fucking. Anyway. I love him so much, but I'm getting tired. I want to walk away before I cheat because I'm not that type of person. Also, I don't want to be the girl who left the cancer patient. Any advice that you can give me on how to handle this situation would be appreciated.

[A]

Leave the cancer patient. At least he's a real cancer patient. Because Mandy's was a lot.

[B]

All right, Facts. At least he had real cancer.

[A]

That's interesting.

[B]

So common, by the way, people faking that. Faking cancer. Yeah, I heard it's a thing.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because you get attention and you get sympathy and empathy and people care about you when you want attention.

[A]

You should only fake a pregnancy so you can get money.

[B]

No faking pregnancy. He's saying people fake cancer.

[A]

Yeah, I'm faking pregnancy. Get your $500. I get it. But kids are.

[B]

You are down and out if you got a fake. Which you was when you did that. Cause you did it.

[A]

I needed it.

[B]

I'm not telling. I ain't telling the girls to fake a pregnancy for $500. I'm telling them, keep a test around.

[A]

And you already know.

[B]

I'm telling them, if you don't open your legs at all, you better be able to get $500 from me.

[A]

No, I will say this. I was just watching this movie called the Room Next Door, and it's with Julianne Moore, who I think is so sexy, I don't know why. And then some other white lady chilled or something. But it was about a woman with cancer, and she was like, the first scene, I had to stop watching a movie on a plane because, you know, planes make you cry. I don't know if they do.

[B]

Oh, I love crying on a plane.

[A]

So it starts, and she's like, how are you? But not like how people say, how are you? Like, really, how are you? She's like, some days I'm euphoric because I'm alive. And then other days I'm depressed because I survived. Like, I was ready to die, but I was this, I was that. I really don't know. The ebbs and flows. And maybe one day we talk to get to talk to Krystal, you know, just a little bit, I thought.

[B]

I hear every day. I know.

[A]

No, I'm saying, like, just us as, you know, listeners of the show.

[B]

She would never come on here. Well, regardless. Yeah. We could have another cancer survivor discuss it. I mean, I think if y' all listen to. Last year, I had three people simultaneously be diagnosed with breast cancer. And I'd like to say all three are in remission. Like, they all beat it. They rang the bell, but they all lost their hair. Double mastectomies, had to go through chemo. One is now being told she has to go into radiation, which she doesn't want to do.

[A]

Were they all. It all was hereditary.

[B]

I mean, I don't know the backstory, but they all got it. I know, I know my best friend, like, it ran in her family. And then I know we also just saw Ananda Lewis pass from breast cancer. It's something that's happening to women much younger. This guy being in remission from prostate cancer. Prostate cancer gets most of our Black men, especially 50 plus, which is why they say that y' all need to go check your colons is, you know, when you reach a certain age. We lost combat Jack from cancer. So I mean, these cancers are running rampant specifically in our communities. And so I can understand as we're aging, that is not something, you know, when you get married, right. Till death do us part through sickness and health. I don't know if any of us have really had the conversations about sticking through non marital relationships with someone battling something like that. It's a lot mentally. If you are someone who is very sexual, you feel guilty for leaving them because of their diagnosis or what they're dealing with. And unfortunately, I know you said it jokingly. If this isn't someone that you see yourself long standing, staying with, to me.

[A]

I hate, I want the guilt.

[B]

I hate that the guilt eats you up because now you're staying with him because you feel like, damn, I'm gonna be a shitty person for leaving a cancer patient. But all of the things you're dealing with, you're not being pleased with physically. You're not even receiving the intimacy. And he's probably showing up grumpier and more rude. I mean, because of how he doesn't feel like himself either.

[A]

So it's like, I think maybe giving Grace to the person that's going through something way more traumatic because maybe this isn't the best version of himself. And maybe if it happened to you, you'd want Grace as well.

[B]

She's seven months in. Let me ask you, how long do you extend that grace? Cause you a freak asshole who like to get fucked too, so they don't have an open relationship. How long are you waiting, holding out?

[A]

I would set a time frame from when I'm acknowledging that they're doing something wrong.

[B]

Okay. So.

[A]

So I'm not gonna wait another few months without telling you something's wrong.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I would come to the table and say, hey, you're doing X, Y, Z.

[B]

Wait. Yeah. How are you. How are you saying it? I wanna know how you're making.

[A]

It's. You're making it harder for me to enjoy being in this relationship. And I wanna let you know some of the flaws I'm seeing and what's really difficult for me now.

[B]

He responds, this is what I just. Hold on, let's dialogue this out. And he's like, you know, I just, like, went through cancer. Chemo wasn't easy. Like, I don't have any control over how my body is healing.

[A]

I know that you're depressed. I know that you're going through xyz. I'm telling you, this is how you're treating me, okay? So I'm going to stick your. But I need you to try to take care of yourself better, that I can be a good partner to you because we can't both drown. Like, how am I gonna be a support system? Actually, I just had this conversation. We were out to dinner with some friends in Paris, and one of them said that when they cheated on their partner, they gave their partner warning before it happened. I'm like, oh, whoa, wait, what? Wait, it was.

[B]

Specifically, what is a warning to tell your partner before you cheat?

[A]

No, I thought this was crazy.

[B]

What was the warning? I only share it.

[A]

The person said, look, I understand you worked late nights. I think his wife was a waitress.

[B]

Ok?

[A]

He was like, but to the point where we're not having sex at night because you get home and you're exhausted. Understandable, understandable. In the day, you need more rest. When do we ever prioritize sex at all? I'm letting you know this is a need. And right now we barely have sex once a week. I need to have sex at least twice a week. That's my minimum.

[B]

And if you don't give it to me, I'mma step out on you.

[A]

They didn't say that. But he said we need to get back to the drawing board on what this relationship looks like if we can at least have sex together in this house.

[B]

That was not a warning.

[A]

I think it's a what?

[B]

Because that didn't come with a time frame, bro. Like, if you just bring it to me, how long between you saying that to you cheating?

[A]

Because if you come next time. So apparently I was like, what's the time frame?

[B]

Yeah, what's the time frame?

[A]

So the next thing happens, person loses their job, like a month or two later. He made a joke. On the bright side, we could fuck now. We got time to spend. I don't know if he said, we could fuck now. She said, that's a shitty thing to say to me because I'm depressed and now I really don't feel like being around you. Apparently it went to 90 days. He cheated. Now, I. I'm not gonna lie to you. To me. That's enough. And I don't think lying is right. I think he should have broken up with her. But yes, when he told the story, I was like, did you really say that? He was like, yeah, I did.

[B]

He's like, so wait, she went from not fucking him?

[A]

You're only 32 years old.

[B]

She went from not fucking him because of his job. No, no, no, wait. Because of her job to then not fucking him because she was depressed because she lost her job. So she might not have just been a sexual being like that.

[A]

Well, you know what this makes me think of? Not having sex because you got cancer now you're not having sex because you're depressed about the cancer?

[B]

Well, no, he's not physically being able to get hard. Sorry.

[A]

Not being sexual. They're not kissing. They're not doing anything.

[B]

Well, that's, I guess, the different thing, right? If they had a healthy sex life. This reminds me of, like, when I was fucking 24, seven months.

[A]

What do you know?

[B]

But also when they've been together for two and a half years. But also it reminds me of, like, my relationship with 24, 7 and a lot of people I was fucking in my 20s where we had healthy sex lives. Zero intimacy for a man who can show up really well in the bedroom sexually. And maybe you don't even acknowledge the need for intimacy because you getting fucked through the mattress so much.

[A]

He says he doesn't hold my hand or kiss me anymore, but no, he.

[B]

Doesn'T do it at all. She didn't say anymore. So what I'm saying is maybe she didn't get the intimacy, but because now she's not getting the sex, she's like, I would like at least the intimacy. I'm not getting either.

[A]

You ain't gonna be if we can't.

[B]

Let her be too long. But she could be a man that might not be intimate. Like, there's a lot of men that don't know how to show up as an intimate lover. Like, without putting the dick down.

[A]

Yeah. The warning. Give him the warning about. And then from the warning.

[B]

So the warning is, you gotta get your mental health together and show me intimacy, or else.

[A]

Yes. You have to say the things that you need. Hey. In this relationship. And I think it's very fair to tell someone just had prostate cancer. This is not about sex in this conversation.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

I need more connection. And the reason you need to make sure you say it's not about sex is because that's the literal thing that he can't do.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And that would be fucked up.

[B]

That would be fucked up. I agree.

[A]

That's worse than leaving the cancer patient, by the way.

[B]

I agree.

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[B]

I mean I also think that so she's 37, he's 52. I think that there has to be. And I know that we talk about dating with intention, we talk about being with partners. I know a lot of people do date with the hope of marriage or you know, the hierarchy of what's next in this relationship. I think that she should sit with over the past two and a half years, maybe even leaving out the fact that you're holding him down through the cancer thing. Is this person someone that you see yourself with because through, through sickness and health. Like that's the thing that I realized too. Even when you go into remission from cancer, oh baby, there's still checkups, there's certain medications that you have to take. It is a part of your new life to where if say something else comes back like is this something you'd willing to deal with again? Like to me you have to acknowledge someone's health condition when you are dating them.

[A]

By the way, this is making me think a lot about my parents. So my mom hasn't had sex in a few years obviously because of my dad. And she said a few years ago when it happened, I want to say he got sick in 2020. Yeah, cause I was with Old Bae, she said maybe like six months out. My mom never had a job. My dad always took care of everything. And she started working at a store. And this was before I was making a lot more money to where she didn't have to work. But basically she was like, listen, your dad took care of me his whole life, and this is what I'm meant to do. She's like, there was never anything that we didn't have that we didn't want. He was loving to me, like, this is what I meant to do. And it was very sweet coming from a house hut wife who, frankly, my mom can't figure out anything in my computer. And she's always had to remind herself these things sometimes. And recently, I was actually there with my partner and my mom. We're visiting my dad, and he just got grumpy out of nowhere. And it happens, like, with bits of dimension. You just get angry, get mad. My mom starts to say to me, this is. I will do anything for him. And I don't know if she's saying it out loud for herself. Like, you know, this is a hard life that he's got right now. This is a hard life that I've got. Like, I have to go visit my husband. I still feel young. I still feel like I could do things. Like, I have to be there for him. And of course, the next day, maybe he has a good day, right? And I think my parents were together for 29 years before this happened. Now they're together 35 years, 29 years of their marriage, of healthiness, right? That to me, is when you can. I don't want to use the word owe someone, but when you can be selfless.

[B]

Two and a half years and you and you 37, girl, you. You still in your pride. He 52, you. Half a century. Like, I think that you. You have to decide if this is something that you can mentally know that in your mind, you may have to ride this roller coaster again. Because you're on this roller coaster now with him through being not only a cancer survivor, but someone who now has to really like.

[A]

And I can't imagine take care of his health and the intimacy part, because something my man told me recently, he's like, your parents kiss so much that, like, I've never seen anything like this. My dad can't roll the wheelchair, bitch. He be like, come here. Like, you know, intimacy can still exist in this weird way. He'll smack her butt. Like, it's just.

[B]

No intimacy could show up in so.

[A]

Many different ways that they haven't had sex in years. And, like. And my mom tells this joke. So my dad. The last vacation I got to put him on a plane for travel on someone who's older is just. It just wipes them out. I've been able. It was great to be able to take them on the beach, but it was a lot for him. So she told him the next day that they had sex. He's like, no, we didn't. We really did. And so my mom's like, yes, it was so good. You don't remember, but my dad was exhausted. So sometimes I hear her still telling her about this night. You remember we were in Mexico and Gila left the room, and he's like, I think. I think I remember Jewel. I think I know what you're talking about. Like. Cause he needs to know that he still had that. And it's like, when people really love and care about you and they're able to put that aside, they want to show up in those ways. And. And so for her to have a partner like this, it's sweet, right? But to know that, like, this partner, this dude, is watching you stick with him through, you know, through all of that and still.

[B]

Cause, girl, you know you ain't had sex in seven months, bitch. So do he. So you to not have. Bitch, girl, you done sucked that gummy dick knowing it wasn't gonna get hard. Like, you didn't even try to just give him some ounce of pleasure. And I think that she's acknowledging as well, like, okay, I get it. He's going through this thing. The healing phase is taking much longer. That's probably what's adding to him being grumpier and ruder. But I don't think that we. And when I say we, it's. Human beings have to be subjected to certain treatment, like, by people. And so, yeah, you only go through.

[A]

Something so long, bitch.

[B]

As human beings. Like, bro, there has to be something where you put yourself first. Like, consider yourself, what do you want? And if this doesn't work for you, if long term, you feel like, damn, I don't think I could do this again. Well, the reality is you might have to deal with this again. Like, cancer comes back even after you beat it sometimes. Like, it's a very big possibility. And so I just think that with knowing his health status, you're young enough, I think, and you're not tied through marriage to consider yourself. And it could sound harsh, it could sound fucking really selfish. But I think, like, bro, when you young, sometimes you gotta choose yourself, bro. Two and a half years. You had a good ride, bitch, and.

[A]

Let'S talk about it. That nigga 52 and ain't got no wives.

[B]

Don't do that. Don't do that.

[A]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[B]

Why you did that? Don't do that. He's probably an asshole. No, but I don't like that because look at old bae. Don't like that. Don't do that. Because you forties, it don't matter. Don't do that. Don't do that.

[A]

Nobody wants your name.

[B]

That's terrible. You're literally being the person, like, when I get 50 with no kids, no husband, ain't nothing wrong with me. This is what I chose.

[A]

All right, so he might have chosen.

[B]

It don't mean he an asshole. He don't mean I don't like that because I know that we put that same stigma on women who are older, who are unwed, with no children. I'm not gonna allow that narrative to go on any of my platforms. Is he a dick? Because I'm not gonna talk.

[A]

He a little dick.

[B]

He could be. He could be. But the narrative that you're old, without a wife or a husband or without kids does not mean that you a fucked up person or that you suck or that you're unwanted or no one wants you. I just hate hearing that narrative because I see it in the comments. I see that we're going to grow old lonely. Like, bro, this is my decision as a human being and I would never sit here. I'm a hypocrite on a lot of things, but I'm not a hypocrite to be on some. You old, you ain't got no. No wife, you ain't got no kids. You a shitty ass person. Because people make those decisions for themselves. Sorry. Clearly got triggered. I'm just not going to be narrative for men or women over 50 who aren't married and who don't have kids, because I have a friend right now who is unmarried with no kids. I have friends right now who can't have kids. And I would just hate for the narrative in a couple of years because they're all approaching 40. For it to be that, you know, they suck as people, especially knowing we're talking about cancer. There's people that can't have kids after going through things. So, yeah, I know triggered, but just want to make sure I don't believe that.

[A]

Well, I'm not talking about people with no children or like mishaps or anything like that. I'm Being facetious. And I do think he's probably a dick.

[B]

And why you say that?

[A]

Because he's treating her like one.

[B]

He just had cancer and can't get his dick hard. Like, bro, you get grumpy sometimes. I kind of be a dick after that too. Bro, you get grumpy sometimes. He hasn't had.

[A]

I didn't tell her to stay with him, Manny.

[B]

I'm not saying that because. I'm just saying I'm not.

[A]

He's being a dick.

[B]

Well, because he just fucking beat cancer. Like, as a friend who some days Crystal didn't feel the best, some days another friend was like, why the fuck am I here? And didn't want to be here. Like beating cancer is a blessing. You just talked about the show. There's going to be some days that are really hard and, and sometimes they may not know that they're treating the people around them like shit. But to me, that's why I leaned into it as a health thing. There's a lot of things that come with people who navigate all types of things. So whether it's cancer, whether it's mental health issues, whether it's any sort of level of diagnosis that requires medication, like you as a person can decide whether to stay with them or not. I think that being guilted for staying with them or staying with people who don't treat you well, that's a whole nother like way of looking at that. I don't think anyone should put up with it. I don't think you should guilt yourself for staying. If it doesn't work for you, leave. And I think that we have to as people be fine with just leaving people because we don't want to deal with their health. Not that they're dicks, not that they suck as people because she loved them, they had fun up until the cancer. But when people have to deal with like health shit, bro, they become different people. They become different people. So I don't want to put any labels of people being shitty ass people. When people have life changing moments like cancer, where they beat it, where they thought that they might be dying, where now it changes their whole bodies, where maybe now they have to decide or realize, damn, I can't have kids now, Damn, I'm having hot flashes now. Damn, my breasts aren't even mine anymore and now I gotta like how I look in shirts. And maybe I woke up this morning and fucking hate that I have these fake breasts in like. I understand the mental capacity of like what it feels like to technically become a whole new person after cancer. And so for me, I would say you as a partner, leave if you don't want to be the support system or you don't have the patience or capacity to be there for him and be okay with that. I don't think you deserve to be dating someone who's grumpy or nasty to you. But just know that this is his reality now. And he may have more grumpier or more grumpier days than not because of his health. And so look at the health thing. I don't think any of us have to sit here and not admit that we don't have the capacity to deal with someone's health issues. It's a lot. And so you have to sit with that. Do you have the capacity to weather through the storm with this man's health? Yes or no? And if you don't choose yourself and leave him and wish him the best and maybe maintain a friendship, because when you break up with someone, you can still be friends with them, even if he may feel away.

[A]

Go listen to our Patreon episode in one week.

[B]

Go listen to the Patreon. Y' all. Go ahead. Feel free.

[A]

Anyone that's ever sent us a ygd, please send us in your updates. We want to. Everybody gets invested. We all want to know what's going on. Our listeners want to know what's going on. We want to know if you took our advice or if you didn't.

[B]

It's funny, we had an update, but I think it was from one of the ones you did, so we ain't read it. But there's an update in the email that I don't think we. We didn't touch that right In Atlanta. Oh, with the company diet, maybe there was an update, though. We was like, oh, I don't even know what this talking about.

[A]

Ttt.

[B]

Anyways, guys, if you have a letter that you want us to read and give you our advice, and maybe you get two, three different bits of advice because we three different people with three different perspectives, go ahead and send us your letter. Send it to decisionspodmail.com and of course, if you're a patron, just go ahead and DM us in the messages. I've been trying to pull some stuff out of there too. Make sure you join us on Patreon. That's patreon.com horribledecisions if you wanna catch the full video of this episode and get more content. Anyways, guys, go buy the book no holds barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. And stay tuned. Email's coming announcement on Patreon and our Instagram pages and our pages. There's some changes happening to our tour.

[A]

Updated dates.

[B]

We got some updated dates. We got some updated tea, some updated things. Just stay tuned, guys. Also, catch us at Essence Festival. We'll see you all there.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

This is an I Heart podcast.