You've Got Decisions: What Did He Say??

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Decisions, Decisions
Episode: You’ve Got Decisions: What Did He Say??
Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF
Original Air Date: February 25, 2026

This episode dives into the candid, comedic, and sometimes chaotic world of modern, non-traditional relationships, focusing on the awkward realities, body changes during sex, cross-cultural dating dilemmas, and the challenges of honest communication with partners. Mandii and Weezy blend humor with real-life stories and listener dilemmas, offering advice, laughs, and their unapologetic perspectives on sex, boundaries, and love in their 30s.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Body Changes and Sex in Your 30s

Timestamps: 01:18–06:14

• Mandii and Weezy discuss the physical "hiccups" that can come with sex as they age.
  • Weezy feels less sexy due to recent body changes.
    • "I almost feel like I'm not as attractive because I have so many little hiccups along the way to sex now." – Weezy (01:34)
  • Physical discomforts during sex: needing cushions for their knees, experiencing locked jaw, and getting muscle cramps.
    • Mandii describes using popsicle sticks after a dentist visit to deal with lockjaw—making sex awkward and funny. (03:40–04:10)
    • Both share stories about losing sexual stamina and how their bodies need longer recovery:
      • "The adrenaline really gets me through sex right now... but after, bitch, I have to watch my shows on a yoga mat." – Mandii (05:53)

2. Faking Orgasms and Being “Lazy” in Bed

Timestamps: 06:11–08:45

• The duo gets real about not always being up for high-energy sex, sometimes faking orgasms to end an uncomfortable situation, or just “playing dead” to get out of being on top.
  • "I faked my first orgasm with my boyfriend... It was not cause of anything he was doing wrong. It's cause I was on top and I needed to stop." – Weezy (06:19)
  • "I do it for like, bitch, not even 15 seconds... and then I just played dead, bro." – Mandii (07:27–07:34)

3. Sex Positions That Demand Too Much

Timestamps: 08:06–10:16

• Outlandish sexual requests and body limits prompt laughter and solidarity.
  • Mandii and Weezy discuss the need to admit when a sexual position isn’t working for their bodies anymore.
    • Holding positions for a partner can feel like a workout class
    • "Holding the back of my fucking calves while standing up and needing to balance myself while taking a dick? Oh no, absolutely not." – Weezy (08:32)
    • Discussion about simultaneous muscle cramps and oral sex/massage improvisation for relief.

4. Behind-the-Scenes of Podcast Clips

Timestamps: 10:44–12:16

• The anxiety of podcast clips being chosen that make them look “unfuckable” or extremely real.
  • Mandii bemoans their podcast’s editor for picking out the most “damning” or outlandish soundbites for social media.
    • "You're going to make people not want to fuck me at all." – Mandii (11:15)

5. Listener Dilemma: Cross-Cultural Love and Language Barriers

Timestamps: 14:29–26:58

• A 38-year-old woman writes in: she’s dating a 29-year-old African immigrant coworker who speaks little English. The sex is great, but communication is all through Google Translate. He wants marriage and children; she doesn’t want kids and is self-conscious about the cultural and age gap.
  • “He is dicking me the fuck down… but I don't understand shit this nigga be talking about.” – Listener Letter (16:09)
  • Mandii’s take:
    • Enjoy the thrill, but make it clear (via Google Translate!) that she can’t offer kids or marriage.
    • “If he decides to stay, that’s on him. His bad for wasting his time when you can’t give him what he want.” (19:27)
  • Weezy’s take:
    • Sees the communication barrier as possibly helpful for hot sex and fewer awkward conversations.
    • Warns, however, not to mislead about future intentions, especially regarding having kids. “Letting them think you’re going to change your mind is kind of fucked up.” (20:37–20:52)
    • Suggests learning more of his language if she’s really interested (“You better hop your ass on Rosetta Stone.” – Mandii, 23:12)
  • Cultural Anxiety:
    • The listener’s nerves about meeting his family and the stigma of being older and not sharing a language.
    • The hosts share personal anecdotes about age differences and family judgment, ultimately stressing that compatibility in life goals (kids, marriage) is more important.

6. Dating With Mismatched Relationship Goals

Timestamps: 24:30–26:58

• Hosts unpack how, even when everything feels right (sex, affection), being on the same page about family is essential.
  • “I will fight this to the death. I do not think people that have different family plans and ideals should be dating each other.” – Weezy (25:34)
  • “I told y’all, I’m looking for a healthy, fun relationship that I can create good memories. That’s it.” – Mandii (26:45–26:58)

7. Societal Pressure, Proposals, and Value Judgments

Timestamps: 27:14–28:43

• The value placed on relationships, marriage, and motherhood by the outside world.
  • Mandii and Weezy discuss the pressure women face to prove themselves through proposals and babies, and how men weaponize this to diminish women’s worth.
    • “It’s the patriarchy, bitch. They will make you feel like your value is nothing if you ain’t got a baby or… Ain’t even popped the question to you.” – Mandii (27:48)

8. Quirky Updates & “Get Your Rent Paid” Wisdom

Timestamps: 28:43–32:51

• Updates on previous listener dilemmas involving Valentine’s Day drama and “getting your rent paid” by toxic men.
  • Advice includes keeping options open: “Get your rent paid, but have another nigga.” – Weezy (32:30)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sex & Age:

  • “Now you can’t even suck... are you getting lockjaw because you removed the braces?” — Mandii (02:34)
  • “Three minutes is a very long time when you can't be a mouth breather.” — Weezy (03:05)

• On Faking It:

  • “I faked my first orgasm with my boyfriend… I was on top and it was like, backwards too, Bitch, I'm getting tired.” — Weezy (06:19)
  • “I just... left my legs open for him to insert me. But, bitch, I was not gonna be on top anymore.” — Mandii (07:47)

• On Cross-Cultural Sex:

  • “Baby, the only thing that translates correctly to me is them moans.” — Listener Letter (17:10)
  • “Giving somebody the pussy that you can't even talk to is a little crazy.” — Mandii (18:24)

• On Mismatched Goals:

  • “Letting them think you’re going to change your mind is kind of fucked up.” — Weezy (20:37)
  • “I do not think people that have different family plans and ideals should be dating each other.” — Weezy (25:34)

• On Expectations & Pressure:

  • “It’s the patriarchy, bitch. They will make you feel like your value is nothing if you ain’t got a baby or a… Ain’t even popped the question to you.” — Mandii (27:48)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Body changes and sex "hiccups": 01:18–06:14
• Faking orgasms & "dead fish" moves: 06:11–08:45
• Sexual positions as a workout: 08:06–10:16
• Listener Dilemma: Language barrier and love: 14:29–26:58
• Cultural anxiety and family judgment: 24:30–26:58
• On societal expectations around marriage: 27:14–28:43
• Previous dilemma updates; "get your rent paid": 28:43–32:51

---

Closing Thoughts

Mandii and Weezy give listeners an unfiltered peek into the real challenges of dating as adults—body quirks, mismatched energy, societal pressures, culture clashes, and the constant negotiation between one’s desires and what others expect. Candid, raunchy, and empathetic, this episode is a testament to seeking authenticity, having honest conversations (even through Google Translate!), and never sacrificing your boundaries or desires for someone else’s expectations.

Transcript

[A]

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human. Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Horrible. This is y. It's bonus, bitch.

[B]

I feel so professional with a laptop.

[A]

Yeah. No, this looks crazy. It's like I never see you look professional.

[B]

Hello. Yes, you did. On our church episode. That y' all will hear soon. Yeah,

[A]

that looks churchy. Not professional. But also me saying you look professional while also I'm looking at your titties. You're offering underboob. Coochie lips. You are giving.

[B]

You see my coochie lips?

[A]

No, but when you bent over on the episode, I said, bitch, I saw a coochie lip.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And now you got the. I ain't gonna hold you. I feel like I might have to watch for a nip slip. Your tits are.

[B]

Oh, let me check.

[A]

They are. Ow. There you go. Okay, okay.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

That little naked wardrobe. I don't know if y' all be going on there. They got their little 25 Tuesday.

[A]

No, this is. You know, this is an audio thing. Okay. She just want me. Okay. Yeah, y', all, she's standing up. She says she a skinny. Cause she glued. That's why it's heavy on me.

[B]

Yeah, I fit this dress a few weeks ago.

[A]

Well, now you're. Now you're fitting it.

[B]

Yeah. As you guys know, last week my stomach was all fucked up. And it's ironic because I wrote this outline before all that happened, but I was like, oh, I want to talk in my catch up about body changes, bitch.

[A]

Okay, we can do that.

[B]

Because I almost feel like I'm not as attractive because I have so many little hiccups along the way to sex now.

[A]

Like, hiccups along the way to sex. Just.

[B]

I feel like I can't be sexy the whole way through. So, you know, we do our monthly date night. So I'm just like, ooh, I'm gonna make mine, like, super nasty and sexy. So we're talking crazy to each other. And he was like, yeah, get on your fucking knees and, like, let me fuck your face. And I was like, okay, hold on. Had to get a pillow.

[A]

Here you go. You just wanted to say pillow to

[B]

make sure I could put my knees on that motherfucker.

[A]

And then why?

[B]

Cause, bitch, that's gonna start hurting. I ain't gonna be down there that long without my knees hurting.

[A]

Okay, so you're mad that you thought about your knees hurting before you said.

[B]

No, no, it's just a few other things.

[A]

Okay, I'm listening.

[B]

So then he's like, no, no, no. Get your ass over here. And I'm like, baby, but I need the cushion. He's like, okay. And I could see the dick getting soft a little bit while I go get the cushion. Okay, now where I am the dick sucking champion. I've been getting a little bit of lockdown lately.

[A]

Not you getting worse as age, but your whole body falling apart, bitch. Girl, first your allergies, now you. Now you can't even suck. Are you getting locked up because you removed the braces? Do you think that that has something to do with it?

[B]

I guess I'm like, relearning how to use my mouth. But basically what happens was I'm holding over my mouth for my mouth to get. And, like, while I'm holding the shit open. Now it's just open by itself, bitch. And it got stuck.

[A]

Your mouth got stuck open.

[B]

It took. I just want to say three minutes is a very long time when you can't be a mouth breather.

[A]

It wouldn't close, bro.

[B]

It was so fucking bad. And at first I think he was laughing because he didn't realize what was really happening. I'm just sitting there with it open and I'm drooling. He's like, okay. And then he was like, no, no, no, suck it. And I'm like, ran to the bathroom, bro. I start googling, like, how to. And basically, like, you have to actually meditate and, like, get your fucking brain relaxed so your brain will talk to your mouth to close. Dude, it was fucking now.

[A]

When I had locked jaw, it didn't work like that. I literally had to. But my was tight. My was tight. So I had to, like, stack popsicle sticks and physically stretch my mouth.

[B]

So how are you breathing and eating?

[A]

I mean, through a straw. I was drinking, but my mouth, like. But it came after a dentist appointment, and I was like, bitch, y' all fucked up something in my mouth. But they gave me popsicle sticks, and I had to, like, literally, while I was watching tv, put one popsicle in. Put in. I was stacking popsicle sticks to pry my mouth open.

[B]

And I had to, like, how are you talking?

[A]

I mean, you don't need to open your mouth that wide.

[B]

Oh, right, right, right.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, bitch, I'm not walking around. Ah, put your dick in my mouth, bro.

[B]

What's.

[A]

My mouth wouldn't open, mind you.

[B]

So that whole scenario happens, right? So then we trying to have another little bit of a sexy moment, and I'm on the edge of the bed getting fucked, and we're having, like, such good, deep, intimate sex, too, which made it even worse. So I'm like, half on the edge of the bed, and we're in the new house, and I'm kind of like, straining back, you know? And he's like, oh, I'm looking at the mountains, baby. This is so beautiful. You're so beautiful. Da, da, da. And he's talking to me and shit. But right when he's doing this, I

[A]

realize, like, damn,

[B]

bruh, I was a little uncomfortable. You know what I'm saying? Cause I'm in this position getting out. I'm like, hold on. So mind you, he's like, grab me. Hold on to me. Because he was trying to keep me on the bed, but I needed to hold onto my neck. Like, you know when you do a crunch and you gotta make sure you secure the back of the head so that your shit don't get stuck.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

And then he started getting soft and

[A]

he was like, I could tell you're uncomfortable.

[B]

And I was like, please stop acting like I'm the problem.

[A]

You know what's crazy? My body. I don't feel it when I'm almost 35, when I'm getting. When I. Bitch, I am 35. I don't feel anything until after. So, like, dear sex bitch, I'm just wanting you to enter all of my orifices. I want you to just move me whichever way you think my body could go. I let them just do whatever. But after. And a couple days after, bitch, I'm in pain, so they don't know I'm in pain until.

[B]

And you don't know I got the yoga' cause your adrenaline so bad.

[A]

No. Yeah, the adrenaline. I think my adrenaline really gets me through sex right now. Like, my body does things that it doesn't on its own. Like, they need to, like, move my legs all the way back and do all the things. But bitch after bitch, I have to watch my shows on a yoga mat. Oh, my God, that's terrible. It's terrible.

[B]

Not the old decisions, bitch. Bitch, then let me tell you how I faked my first orgasm with my boyfriend.

[A]

All because this is the clip. This is the clip. No, I. You faking an orgasm with your nigga, that means you, bruh.

[B]

It was not cause of anything he was doing wrong. It's cause I was on top and I needed to stop. I was on top and it was like, backwards too, Bitch, I'm getting tired. And you know what makes it worse? When a nigga be like, well, yeah, keep me, keep me, keep Throwing that ass back. No, I can't keep going. So I was like, oh, my God, how can I make this stop without him thinking I'm a failure? I'm like, I get it. Orgasm. So here go me. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God, it's so good. I'm a cone. Oh, my God, it was so good. I had to.

[A]

And you know what's crazy? I. Recently, he didn't even notice.

[B]

He just started turning me around. Oh, yeah, you can't take no more dick. I was like, nope, can't.

[A]

You know what's crazy?

[B]

I am.

[A]

This is going to make people be like, who the fuck wants to fuck her? So I just got on top recently,

[B]

and, you know, I don't get on top on the couch. You said

[A]

no. Oh, this was like, in the bed. So I get on top. I ain't gonna hold you. And I do it for like, bitch, not even 15 seconds.

[B]

How many seconds?

[A]

Not even 15 seconds. But all I know is that I just went like this,

[B]

which I just

[A]

fell to the side and it played dead. It was like, oh, fuck me from the side, bitch. I literally fell off that nigga dick and just, like, played dead, bro.

[B]

I'mma tell you right now, I just,

[A]

like, left my legs open for him to insert me. But, bitch, I was not gonna be on top anymore.

[B]

It's a good thing. We gotta hive. Cause they gonna be like, damn, these

[A]

hoes giving up, bitch. I was like. Like, I didn't. I didn't care what he was saying. I just, like, fell off the dick. Like, like, literally, like, fell off the

[B]

D. And was like, niggas do some shit. Do you know what I didn't want to do recently? And I was like, is he fucking high? First of all, I was bent over trying to be cute, like in the mirror, right? He's like, damn, you look so good. And I was like, oh, do I? And he was like, stay right there. And I'm like, stay right there. So now I gotta stay holding my legs.

[A]

I'm not gonna lie. This is giving $45 here. You are doing a lot for me.

[B]

I'm holding the back of my fucking calves while standing up and needing to balance myself while taking a dick. Oh, no, absolutely not.

[A]

I never.

[B]

Let me tell you, when I swiped that nigga, right? Never knew it was gonna turn into that much work.

[A]

Yeah, well, I just had morning sex the other day and got a cramp in my. In my calf. So I had to stop fucking fucking so he could run because it was like a Charley horse Cramp, like, where it was like, you know what you get? You knew the ones here. Like, I was like, oh, I can't move my leg. Can't move my leg. And he literally had to massage the cramp out of my calf in the morning, but it was like, it's morning. Maybe I need water.

[B]

Maybe I need. When I go through these shit, through these shits, like, little, like, I don't know, like, uncomfortable moments. My man keeps talking shit and keeps doing dirty talk while it's getting fixed. And I think it's not for me

[A]

now, because recently, maybe it's to keep his dick hard. I think it is.

[B]

He's like, yeah, you think I give a fuck? While he's, like, fixing it.

[A]

Oh, no. I will literally have a dick in my mouth while you massage my calf muscle out of being hurt.

[B]

Now, how you gonna suck a dick and get your leg all the way up there?

[A]

He's first off, his dick could be in my mouth, and he's reaching down to massage my thing.

[B]

Can you get your leg up that high? Cause I can't.

[A]

No, no, no, listen, Hear me out. Yeah, show it to me. Hear me out.

[B]

Show me how a n gonna massage.

[A]

I'm laying down like this. Oh, my leg. His dick is right here, and he's bent down rubbing my calf.

[B]

It can happen like a 69. Hello.

[A]

Y' all better get with the goddamn anatomy of what's available to us.

[B]

Oh, actually, you know what? If you're bent over on a bed

[A]

and you ready, I'm five one. All of my niggas are six' four. Plus they're huge. Their arms can literally extend through my whole body without moving.

[B]

Oh, that's convenient for you.

[A]

Yeah, it is big. You just got a little taste of the horrible decisions, Patreon. But why stop there? Tap in for the full, uncut, and way nastier episodes over on patreon. Go to patreon.com horrible decisions and unlock all the messy tea, wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. And now here's you've got decision.

[B]

If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?

[A]

You've got decisions. What's up? Don't know if you know, but you got decision.

[B]

That's not the one.

[A]

No.

[B]

Slim aggressive, bro. There was a clip a few weeks ago, and you said, I made that nigga bust two nuts.

[A]

I said, okay, Atlanta, I'm not going to hold you. I said it in the Group chat. Eden counts your fucking days the way that he hops in our group chat to pick out the fucking worst clips possible. I literally said, eden, you're going to make people not want to fuck me at all. You know what? Let's.

[B]

Yes. And it'll be like, hey, ladies.

[A]

Wheezy.

[B]

Do you remember when you said you faked an orgasm? Can I make that the cliff? Also, Mandy, when you said you fucked

[A]

up, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[B]

And they were FaceTiming and jacking off. What do you think of that, bruh?

[A]

Then he said, can I. Can I tell them how you got off the dick in 15 seconds? I said, you want that to be the clip? After I said, I need my pussy destroyed and hurting so that I don't fuck another n right after them. Like, no one's gonna want to fuck me, bro. What are you doing?

[B]

I'm gonna be real with you. This is not in our best interest, this show. It's not.

[A]

You know. No, no, bro, hold on. When I shared my story, you said, we'll never end this show as long as you want your pussy beat to smithereens.

[B]

No, really? That's how I felt. But what's even crazier, y', all, I would say once a quarter, me and my got to have a conversation about something I said on the show. And he's like, hold on.

[A]

Damn. See, here I go. Once a quarter, I allow anal sex.

[B]

Like, we've had some wild. You know what? It just comes across insane. I don't even want to tell y' all what shit. But there was a clip.

[A]

Oh, I'm not gonna lie. You guys have a story coming for you on the Patreon. If you guys want to hear some wild fucking shit. All I need you to do is not only head on over to [e-mail] horribledecisions, but go ahead and Google search Tokyo Valentino. I, on Patreon, will talk about.

[B]

Oh, oh, the text club.

[A]

Whoa. I don't even want to call it that, but we'll get into that on a Horrible Decisions episode. Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Oh, yeah. No, it was wild. My God, it was wild.

[B]

Like, too much.

[A]

It allowed me to realize all the people that are like, what are these amazing sex clubs you go to? Because, boy, and I was like, oh, I've been spoiled in New York.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

But I'll let y' all know about that over on the Patreon.

[B]

It was so crazy that how. Like, how the rest of sex clubs can. Yeah, I know. You know it was crazy for random sex club in a city once. Just for fun. Just a Google which is a thing. Just a quick Reddit or a quick Google and I was like if I look like I was paid to be here, I have to leave.

[A]

We'll get when I say bitch, y' all gotta hear about it. Y' all gotta hear about it.

[B]

Uh oh go.

[A]

Some of y' all may be interested. I feel like men might be interested in this place. But we'll talk about it over on the Patreon if you want. If you want to send over a dilemma, a problem you're having. If you want us to tell you you ain't shit or he ain't shit, go ahead and write [e-mail] yeah.

[B]

Cause that's what we finna say.

[A]

You a patron. We leading with you ain't shit.

[B]

He never been shit. But go ahead.

[A]

Let's get into this. The title of this episode. What did he say? We'll get into it. First of all, let me say love you bitches down. I started listening to you beautiful ladies when see the God had y' all on Breakfast Club promoting your book. I started listening on Amazon, maxed out my episodes there and started looking for more. I bought the book and now I'm on Patreon going through older episodes.

[B]

Oh I love getting a little fun addiction. Yeah.

[A]

By the way she shouted out my body bodying over on the gram. She said okay, okay the situation I need advice on. Here we go. I'm a 38 year old woman and there was this man I would always see that we always locked eyes and smiled at when I would be picking up my routes at work.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I delivered for UPS and he is a driver as well. I never thought anything of it. Just casual flirting. By the time I saw him for the fourth time, it was clear he wanted to talk to me and I just couldn't understand why he didn't have the balls to do so. Me being the forward bitch that I am. I said fuck it because we had time to kill one day while loading our trucks and I shot my shot. He just started staring at me and smiling like a goofy. So I'm like whoops, totally read that wrong.

[B]

Oh no.

[A]

Next thing I know, this nigga pulls out a translator for me to talk into.

[B]

Why don't you be in the song?

[A]

I said like what? The nigga don't even speak English. Boom. Bet. Ok, he is African and newly off the boat. That sounds bad, but whatever. He is 29 with no kids and Legit. Only been here a little over a year. The English that he knows is very, very bad.

[B]

I wonder what he speaks.

[A]

However. Oh, we're getting to that. However, I gave him my number anyway because it's easier for him to translate via text. Fast forward this nigga is dicking me the fuck down. It's good and the stamina is unmatched but I don't understand shit this nigga be talking about. Oh Lord, he cooks for me like full meals. I've met his friends and they don't speak English so I just be there trying to translate. When it's just us around each other we are using the hell out of Google Translate and I'm starting to feel dumb. He said he is looking for more and that I give him the impression this is just sex but he wants wife and kids. First of all, I'm old by by the way. She says first of all I'm old coochie and I'm about to be closed for babies. She did say at the top of this letter she's 38.

[B]

Girlfriend.

[A]

However, he has invited me back home to South Africa and even to New York where his family made it to live. I can't help but think how embarrassed would my grown ass be telling his mom I'm his girlfriend and don't speak a lick of French and almost 10 years older than her son. Is this tacky? Should I leave it at sex or should I get the fuck out of there knowing we aren't compatible and he wants more? Baby, the only thing that translates she said baby. The only thing that translates correctly to me is them moans. He is an absolute sweetheart and it's not like I wouldn't be in a relationship, but fucking really? Too many cards stacked against me. Anyways, I love y' all regardless if y' all go in on me. Just really wanted to get this out to someone that ain't too judgy cuz my girlfriends definitely don't know.

[B]

I don't know why we would go in on her for what?

[A]

I mean, first off, wheezy, you be going in on the girls.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I ain't gonna hold you. Giving somebody the pussy that you can't even talk to is a little crazy.

[B]

Like you literally said, I am so all for that.

[A]

Well, yeah, you like accents and other language. I don't. So to me, if I can't understand you, I gotta be like, huh, I think it's hot.

[B]

Okay, so here's another reason that I kind of like what she doing. Okay, to me, he making a lot

[A]

of sense into me.

[B]

Because she is having a thrill at the fact that like. And also keep in mind the fact that y' all don't speak the same language is probably why y' all are having great sex too. Because you don't know all these niggas. This nigga's thoughts, he don't have enough time to be able to say something stupid. He got to like actually be premeditated when he hits you up.

[A]

Yeah, he gotta text it.

[B]

I mean, look, we get cozy when we're. We get cozy, we get comfortable, we start to feel safer. You know, relationships like, as if they come if they don't. Once you start somebody you're comfortable with, what the else can you do?

[A]

Like, girl, I don't even like reading subtitles to movies that I don't understand. I don't even watch. I don't even like watching dubbed film because what the fuck is this? Like, I don't know if I. To me, here's the thing. We always talk about letting people have their own choices, right? Yeah, if you want. And now this is about to be a toxic take. And I don't care if he want wife and kids. And you've let him know that the coochie shop is closed so he can't get kids from you and you like the sex. But you think this is all too complicated to really get into a relationship with him. Bitch, leave it up to him. His bad for wasting his time when you can't give him what he want. But I think in the meantime you could have fun. But I do think you need to make it clear with Google Translate that you can't give him a marriage or a baby. And if he decides to stay, the same way when bitches decide to say when a nigga say I'm not looking for nothing serious and they just hope it changes. But then, hey, let him stay around till it doesn't work anymore for him.

[B]

Okay, there is another thing I would say as well, as long as you've been clear that you're uninterested. Like dating people that want children and even letting them think for a second you're going to change your mind is kind of fucked up.

[A]

Yeah, I don't do that. I let niggas know I'll kill their babies. So you gotta be say that in Google Translate. Okay, so state lines to suck it out or also, I'm old. It's baby powder in this uterus. I don't know if I could even have babies right now. Like, and maybe that's even too American to say, you gotta. Hey, hey. The put his clothes. No, baby, come out between my legs.

[B]

Oh. Or Amanda, Listen, I have been waiting to promo this, okay? Y' all know I work with them. I have been waiting for this project to drop for years. They've worked so hard to make this. From the visionary creator Kenya Barris, from Blackish comes Big Age, the hilarious and heartwarming audible original comedy about love, aging, and finding your way into love's next chapter. Big Age stars comedy legends Jennifer Lewis, Cedric Entertainer and Niecy Nash Betts. Big H follows the recently retired couple Dot and Butch Watts reluctant relocation to their new Florida home, Sunset Gardens, which is a senior community that's anything but relaxing and embarrass retirement community. Dot and Butch encounter a parade of unforgettable personalities who push their 50 year marriage to the limit. There's Butch's flirtatious ex flame Ethel, who's Niecy Nash, spiritually possessed neighbors, pesky pill pushing couples. And the ferociously competitive Steven Aider. Through its blend of outrageous comedy and touching revelations, Big Age explores what it means to grow older without growing old at heart. Listen to Kenya Barris new laugh out loud audible original comedy Big Age. Big Age Age does funny Things. Go to audible.com Big AgeSeries to start with. Listening today, what I would say, I agree. I think that's admirable. Like, I think it's kind of like dating somebody that doesn't want a relationship and you're like, well, you know, we'll see where it goes. That's fucked up. But if you flat out. Because, I mean, I'm only guessing from your message. You said this pro, this shop probably going to close soon. I'm not. Well, also, you don't want to have a kid. Nobody that you can't really like.

[A]

Right? You can't even communicate.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Without Google Translate.

[B]

Now.

[A]

Now, to me, if you do like this, man, this is not an ad. You better hop your ass on Rosetta Stone. Like, you might need to take the step to learn his language a little better. And you may need to, instead of just fucking the whole time you're together, maybe teach that nigga some English when he's cooking your meals. Make sure he's saying chicken and rice crowds. Like, teach him the American words for even the foods. And like, teach him something.

[B]

Now, I do honestly think it sounds like to me you need to get out there and start with other. And here's why I say that. Oh, God, you real comfortable right now. And next thing you know, that dick gonna feel so good. And then you're gonna be like, oh, yeah, come in me, daddy. And he gonna understand that. He didn't understand even more diabolical.

[A]

And if you not fucking A raw, you can't speak to bro.

[B]

Now that I don't agree with

[A]

what

[B]

on my chart in English can be translated. You want that dick, you get that dick. But what I'm saying to you is I do think if you got yourself to a position where you were stuck, you would feel even worse. You know what I mean?

[A]

So now I do wanna know for a fact.

[B]

You don't want no damn baby. And I don't know if he knows for a fact.

[A]

Yeah, I do wanna take the second part of this letter that I found interesting, okay. That I've caught myself being in the dilemma of. Right. Especially when I was dating actor bae, so. And other guys. I've literally not dated certain guys because of this. I found it interesting that her thought process also went to, what is his mother gonna think of me? I'm 10 years older than him, can't speak their language. Like, is she gonna judge me? And I've felt that way with certain people as well. Like, I wonder if because I was 10 years older than Actobay, but you.

[B]

You thought his mom would judge if you don't want you?

[A]

His family was the sweetest. His family was great and loved me for their son. But in terms of, like, maybe a super religious man, I would be nervous going to a nigga family who go to church every Sunday and go to Bible study and live by the Bible, because that's not me.

[B]

I actually wouldn't mind that. Like, my boyfriend's parents are really religious when we pray before meals, and him and I don't do any of that stuff. But what I would say is I don't feel crazy about it because he's not that person. So I feel like, okay, but. But the problem is you're dating a man that wants things you don't want. And I. I am someone that is very. I will fight this to the death. I do not think people that have different family plans and ideals should be dating each other.

[A]

Shut up. I'm gonna date. Who the fuck I wanna date. Damn.

[B]

I mean, look, y' all have nigga.

[A]

A lot of these niggas want kids, and it won't be for me.

[B]

But you also have said you. You're not looking for lifetime.

[A]

First off, stop it.

[B]

Why you?

[A]

I will be with whoever, however, forever long meets, whether it's lifetime. I'll be with my. I'll be with niggas for a long time.

[B]

You basically had a boyfriend and told us on the show. Yeah, till the wheels fall off. That's pretty much how you said it.

[A]

Sorry that I'm logical.

[B]

You would say things like, I'm having a good time right now. What is everybody's problem? We was like, okay, this is how

[A]

I'm going to explain every relationship I get in until this podcast ends. I told y' all I'm looking for a healthy, fun relationship, that I can create good memories. That's it.

[B]

Wait, now I remember when you said that. That's when I was like, create memories.

[A]

Memories in a healthy, fun environment.

[B]

I leaving a. He said that to me. I just want to create some memory. You what, bro?

[A]

That's it. You don't want to create memories with your.

[B]

That's all you want to do.

[A]

What else is there to do?

[B]

Wipe me up.

[A]

Oh, I'll take a ring. Kind of. I'll take a nice ring.

[B]

Mindy Z, you already had a man drop down on his knees.

[A]

Y' all gotta check the patreon to hear more about that. I'm not gonna lie. I do feel like now I could be like, well, I done been proposed to. So since y' all bitches want to talk shit. Have you been proposed to? Even though.

[B]

Did you know one of my homegirls got into it with a dude she was dating, and he said something like

[A]

that, and I was like, oh, oh, it's the patriarchy, bitch. They will make you feel like your value is nothing if you ain't got a baby or a. Ain't even popped the question to you.

[B]

They were in an argument, and he was like, you know, you're 39 years old and you've never even been mar. So I was like, excuse me.

[A]

She still gave him.

[B]

They ran a fight. I don't know what she did, but I just was like, you know, when a. Just. Here's the other thing I would like to say. I think what men fail to realize a lot of times that kind of is hurting women because we aren't explaining it enough. You don't need to prove your loyalty to A if you want to leave a. Because he ain't shit. That should be worn like a badge of honor. And I was thinking about that a lot during Valentine's Day week. Like, one of my friends was having a hard time because she was recently single on Valentine's Day, and I was like, bro, but he was cheating on you. And Begging for you back. And you left him because.

[A]

Wait a second. Wait a second. What's the update before we get out of here on the mama who was on the deathbed for Valentine's Day? Tell me, did she see him? Did she not see him? We need a quick update on this because it don't make sense to talk about Valentine's Day in March. We need the update on what happened here.

[B]

One moment.

[A]

What happened?

[B]

All right, I just texted her. I'm going to read a bitch.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

My text. February 14, 1:30pm Thinking about you, my girl. I hope you're doing well. You look so beautiful on your stories. I hope you're spending your day having fun in bed. Rotting, eating, watching tv, having fun, whatever. Call me if you want to talk. Okay. You can refer. Okay. You can read it.

[A]

Not after you done read it.

[B]

Hey, so I guess instead of telling you what I'm doing, I'll just send you this photo. The photo is her and his feet together in bed. I said, oh, mom's alive. Question mark.

[A]

You're petty.

[B]

She said, after he told me the lies, which I feel that were about his mom, he called me and did say that he had a lot of plans for spending time with her, but he realizes this is important to me and he decided to show up for me. I'm really grateful, but at the same time, I'm not letting it go past me that he could have been lying about the mom. But if we think about it, wheezy, what if she really is sick? And what if she really is on lifestyle? Then I wrote back, let's talk on February 16th. I'm going to let you enjoy your weekend, sis. Here's the. Here's the thing. She's right.

[A]

These be playing.

[B]

I actually do think his mom is. What I don't believe is that he needed to go see her February 12th and said that on January 30th, he.

[A]

He changed that flight from Cabo and said, I'll do that another time. Yeah. Without you, I don't know.

[B]

I think. And remember Mandy, she cut.

[A]

She brought.

[B]

She cut it off. So then he was like, all right, I'm finna. I guess.

[A]

But do we know if those were really his feet? It could have been a side nigga.

[B]

No, no, no. It's him.

[A]

It was his feet. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Because she's not gonna lie to me about it. Like, she's like, yo, I'm back with this. But I think that at the end of the day, do to you whatever they feel like you will allow.

[A]

And okay, Valid.

[B]

Being that she is getting cash from the situation. You know, this is an athlete we're talking about here. I think that's why she succumbed to the bullshit.

[A]

My friend did the same thing this weekend, so I can't say shit. Literally called me in excitement. She was coming home at 11am in the morning after we went out, and she was like. I said, damn, girl, what parties you hit up, like, la? Close early. She was like, no, girl, he popped in on me. He surprised me, and I'm like, girl, it's All Star Weekend. He ain't come for you. He gotta work.

[B]

You did not say that.

[A]

I did say that, but she had already told the ball player yes, and she had already told me how, like, toxic the situation was and how she was healing just to tell me I'm unhealed. I like this toxic shit. I said, girl, I don't want to hear about it no more because you done crashed out over niggas before and this is so unhealthy. I don't support it. But get your rent paid, girl. I guess.

[B]

No, but get your rent paid. Okay, get your rent paid, girl, but have another nigga.

[A]

You said what?

[B]

Get your rent paid, but have another nigga. Like, that's the thing. Like, if you're going to stay with somebody because the situation is beneficial to you.

[A]

Oh, no, no. I mean, we'll see. She's getting flown out by someone else this week, so we'll see. Yeah, you know, yeah, sure.

[B]

See, hoes can be happy. Mandy,

[A]

we not doing that. Anyways, guys, thank you all for tuning in to another you Got Decisions. If you want us to read about your dilemma and give you the best advice that you could get anywhere on the Internet, send us your dilemma over at you. Oh, DecisionsPod. I was gonna say, you got decisions again, decisionspodmail.com and if you wanna watch this full video, head on over to our Patreon. That's patreon.com horribledecisions, where you also still get a Horrible Decisions episode every motherfuckin week. Thanks, y', all for tuning in to you Got Motherfucking Decisions. Puts a whole back. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.