You've Got Decisons: Am I a Hater or Bitter? (ft. Eddin & Wolf)

Summary

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Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: Decisions, Decisions
Episode: You've Got Decisions: Am I a Hater or Bitter? (ft. Eddin & Wolf)
Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF (a.k.a. Ashala & Crystal in episode), with guests Eddin & Wolf
Release Date: October 15, 2025

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Overview

This lively episode of "Decisions, Decisions" blends sex-positive curiosity with candid talk about boundaries and friendship drama. Hosts Mandii B and WeezyWTF (Crystal), joined by Eddin and Wolf, kick off with some "kinks & fetishes you may not know," then turn to the listener dilemma of the week: when your longtime best friend starts secretly sleeping with your brother. The group debates whether the listener is justified in feeling weird, bitter, or if everyone’s just being a little messy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kinks and Fetishes: The ABCs of Mother Earth (00:36-09:40)

• Unusual Fetishes Breakdown:
  • Actorasty (00:36): Sexual arousal from sunlight/sun rays.
  • Aquaphilia (01:44): Sex or arousal involving water.
  • Brontophilia (01:53): Sexual attraction to thunderstorms.
  • Chasmophilia (03:26): Arousal by crevices/caverns/valleys.
• Personal Anecdotes:
  • Crystal recounts having sex in a (man-made) cave in Jamaica, reflecting on chasmophilia.
  • Ashala expresses genuine identification with brontophilia:

    “The way I rub my pussy when it's raining… time to, like, go play with myself. When I hear that goddamn rain and thunder, my whole body shuts down. And I just get horny.” – Ashala (02:19)

• Tactile Exploration (05:02): The gang chats about bringing new textures into the bedroom—silk sheets, cool or warm massage oils, lube from the fridge, etc.

  “Silk sheets give a way different feeling when you're having sex on your body… you slide a little bit more.” – Ashala (05:02)

• Role-play and Mishaps:
  • Crystal shares a recent sensory-driven role-play gone awry (she used lube by mistake):

    “Once it went on his body, I knew it wasn't vitamin E. And I started to feel how thick it was… But, you know, I was still at it.” – Crystal (08:47)

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2. Relationship Roundtable: The "You've Got Decisions" Listener Dilemma (09:41-28:00)

The Situation

• Listener’s Email (18:22):
  • Best friends for 20 years.
  • Listener’s friend breaks up with a toxic boyfriend of 15 years.
  • Friend is now sleeping with listener’s brother, whom she also refers to as her "brother".
  • Listener finds out by walking in on her friend at her brother’s house. Friend doesn’t speak, and there's an awkward silence.
  • Sisters have confronted friend and say it's weird/awkward.
  • The question: Is the listener being bitter, a hater, or justifiably weirded out?

Group Reaction & Analysis

• Initial Reaction:
  • Eddin: “I don’t think you’re either [a hater or bitter]. Shorty’s being kind of weird.” (19:35)
  • Crystal: “When girls start sleeping with one of the homeboys… there becomes this weird energy.” (19:54)
• Expectations Around Disclosure:
  • Consensus that if it’s a close friend and family member, it’s weirder if they hide it (21:54-24:10).
  • Crystal: “If Andre and Breonda started fucking… I actually think he would tell me... There’s tension... it gets weird and messy.” (25:15)
  • Ashala: “The secret of who we fucking needs to be a secret. It ain't your business.” (25:51)
• Omission vs. Lying:
  • Ashala: "There's a difference between lying and omitting." (28:49)
  • The group debates: Is not telling an active lie, or just avoiding an awkward conversation?
  • Crystal pushes: “At some point, it does become a bit of a lie... omitting and lying...” (29:21)
• Anecdotes and Relatability:
  • Both Crystal and Ashala share stories of secret hook-ups within their circle and reflect on how secrecy changes group dynamics (24:18-30:26).
• Navigating Disclosure:
  • The importance of context:
    • If it’s casual/fling, discretion is more expected.
    • If it’s ongoing and among super close friends or business partners, transparency may be needed.

    “If we are that close… there’s a lie for me. I’m not saying anyone needs permission, but hiding it feels weird.” – Crystal (26:29)

  • On approaching the topic:

    “If you tell someone without discussing with the person you’re fucking, now I got a problem.” – Ashala (27:00)

• Gender & Social Norms:
  • If dynamics were reversed (a guy’s sister vs. a woman’s brother), expectations would shift due to patriarchy, purity narratives, etc. (32:13-32:41).

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3. Resolutions & Final Thoughts (31:24-33:56)

• Verdicts:
  • Ashala: “She’s weird and she needs to get over it… As my best friend of 20 years, I wish you’d have let me know. Hope he treats you well. If he don’t, I’ma fuck him up. Y’ all have fun.” (31:25)
  • D (Wolf): “She broke a girl code the minute she didn’t speak to her.” (31:45)
  • Ultimately both Ashala and Crystal agree both parties are being “weird” for not communicating.
  • General takeaway:
    • Adults don’t “owe” each other details about consensual hookups, but in very close, lifelong friendships, secrecy invites drama.

    “There’s a difference between lying and omitting… but if you feel left out, just say it and move on.” – Ashala (28:49/31:25)

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4. Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Fetishes:
  • “Fucking in the water. Aqua… Oh, yeah, you know.” – Crystal (01:44)
  • “Brontophilia is the fetish when someone gets extremely aroused by thunderstorms.” – Ashala (01:58)
• Friendship/Family Boundaries:
  • “If you're a patron, we'll get to yours first, so make sure you follow us...” – Ashala (33:24)
  • “I don’t want to know my business, huh? But that’s what I’m saying—I tell people when I’m fucking people… until I’m ready for the lashes I was gonna get from my friends.” – Ashala (24:18)
• On Secrets:
  • “I would love… yo, I love little secrets...” – Ashala (30:47)
• Gender Double Standards:
  • “If this was men and it was a yo sister, it would have been different.” – Crystal (32:13)
  • “That’s because of the patriarchy and how they view purity in terms of sisters not being able to be hoes.” – Ashala (32:20)

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | Description | |-------------------------------------|--------------|----------------------------------------------| | Fetish & Kink Round | 00:36–09:40 | Unusual sexual fetishes, personal stories | | Listener Dilemma: Hater or Bitter? | 18:22–30:47 | The friendship/family drama unfolds | | Group Discussion: Secrecy & Norms | 24:00–33:00 | Secrets, “girl code”, omitting vs lying | | Final Thoughts & Listener Takeaways | 31:24–33:56 | Resolutions, advice, normalized boundaries |

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Tone & Language

True to the podcast’s reputation, the conversation is ultra-candid, irreverent, and laced with raunchy humor. The hosts keep things real, sometimes cutting each other off, or arguing playfully, but always circling back to the importance of honesty, sex positivity, and unlearning outdated relationship norms.

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Conclusion

“Decisions, Decisions” provides a hilarious, authentic window into the intersection of sex, friendship, and boundaries. In this episode, the co-hosts and guests don’t offer a black-and-white answer but instead point out everyone’s “weirdness” when open communication is missing—whether it’s a hidden fetish, a secret office romance, or your best friend sleeping with your brother. If you’re dealing with messy friend/family entanglements, their advice rings clear: awkwardness is inevitable, but owning your feelings and having honest conversations can help move everyone forward.

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Transcript

[Ashala]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Ashala]

All right, let's get into our kick of the week, y'. All. We are going to do the ABCs of Mother Earth. I looked up these kinks slash fetishes that I'm like, damn. I don't know if we've ever talked about it, because what the fuck? So the first one, and I want y' all to guess what y' all think it is based on Latin roots and shit. So actorasty fetish. What do you think that means? Actorasty. And I don't know if I'm saying it right, but that's how it's spelled. A C, T, I, R, A S, T, Y. Actorasty fetish. All right? Y' all hoes don't know.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Ashala]

So does the sexual fetish known when someone is aroused by the rays of the sun. Therefore, someone with this fetish would love being intimate outdoors or under a large window on a sunny afternoon.

[Crystal]

What is the sun connected to acne?

[Ashala]

I don't know. I just thought y' all might know Latin roots. I don't know. This next one, though, mind you. The other A1. Vitamin D. The other A1 was way too easy. Y' all would've got it. Aquaphilia.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Ashala]

Fucking in the water. Aqua. Oh, yeah, you know. All right, so this next one, brontophilia. And this has nothing to do with LeBron James.

[Crystal]

Damn, I've heard this before.

[D]

It sounds too tough.

[Ashala]

Brontophilia. So that means there's some anal play going on. This. Actually, I think I'm a brontophiliac. I don't know if that's the word, but this is me. So brontophilia is the fetish when someone gets extremely aroused by thunderstorms.

[Crystal]

What the fuck? Yes.

[Ashala]

Oh, I ain't gonna hold you.

[Crystal]

Okay. But I do.

[Ashala]

The way I rub my pussy when it's raining, I be, oh, my God, time to, like, go play with myself. When I hear that goddamn rain and thunder, my whole body shuts down. And I just get horny. Why?

[E]

Because you. Your body knows there's nothing else you.

[Ashala]

Can do right now, right?

[E]

You can't go outside.

[Crystal]

You gotta know what I just said. So I went to Mexico to get this dental shit done. Long story short, one of the days it was crazy thundering. So my nigga wakes up and he's like, damn, that sucks. And I was like, bro, we're on vacation to do nothing.

[Ashala]

Now rain is.

[Crystal]

We are actually in the best place. So we come outside and it's an all inclusive reward. And you could tell they stress and they'll know what activities to do for people. They're like, oh, I'm so Saudi, you know? You guys having a good day? I'm like, we are having a fucking nigga. I had that sex glaze on my face, you know, the little dried up come. It look a little white. It looked like I had some eczema flakes.

[Ashala]

Just semen. I love when it rains. Give it to me. All right, and now for C. Let's see if y' all can get this. This one was strange. Chasmophilia, by the way.

[Crystal]

It had something to avoid.

[Ashala]

It's all about mother Earth. Uh, chasmophilia, by the way. I love that there's kinks that we still don't know that I saw. And I was like, what the fuck? I don't think we ever talked about other kinks. Close.

[Crystal]

What'd you say?

[E]

No, I'm just saying.

[Ashala]

No, Weasley was closer.

[Crystal]

I'm thinking of something like feeling the ground, like, grounding.

[Ashala]

Close. Chasmophilia is an unusual and interesting fetish. What it means is that one is aroused by crevices, caverns and valleys.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Ashala]

Literally, maybe a bitch want. Which, to be fair, I did fuck in a cave in. In. In Jamaica. Now I don't. I haven't been to Grand Canyon yet, so. So I don't know if my mind would be turned on by wanting to fuck in the canyon.

[Crystal]

Were other people in the. Like, how big is the cave? Like, you can't. The cave is wet.

[Ashala]

The cave is like the size of this room that we're in. And there was a waterfall, like, blocking it. So it's a really dark cave. The waterfall's coming down and we.

[Crystal]

No bats in it?

[Ashala]

No, no bats. We was the only ones in it. It's like a man made one. It was at the nude pool. Oh, so it was like a fake cave.

[Crystal]

So it was a clean cave, but.

[Ashala]

It was giving cave.

[Crystal]

No, because, like, you know, when you go on vacation, you start walking with them pool shoes.

[Ashala]

Yeah, no, no, no. I'm giving that scared. It was given a cave in a pool.

[Crystal]

Like, I'd rather fuck a sex.

[Ashala]

A built. A built cave. All right, so for the hood of this one I found online, and I was like, never thought of it this way. This is called tactile exploration. So this is when. And this is a real vanilla tip, by the way, for y'.

[Crystal]

All.

[Ashala]

So when I read it, I was like, oh, I. I never thought about that. But, yes, this is great because I feel it when I'm in other people's bed. So tactile exploration is the introduction of varied textures in the bedroom where you would have sex. So you could either do this through bedding, you could do it through clothing or even accessories. So for. So for example, silk sheets. I ain't going to hold you. Gives a way different thing, a way different feeling when you're having sex on your body. Like, silk sheets. I had a nigga with silk sheets, and I was like, this nigga is a whore. Because it felt like I just knew. I said, oh, you have to be a slut. First off, what nigga has silk sheets? But also, it made me feel like, why the fuck don't I have silk sheets? Because silk sheets a on your body. Like, you slide a little bit more and you don't feel like. Mind you, it just doesn't feel as rough. But also, it's cold.

[Crystal]

I'm, like, wondering right now if those silk sheets things was recent, right? Somebody listening to this. Like, hold on. That nigga and Mandy live in Atlanta, bruh.

[Ashala]

Yeah, silk sheets. I was like, oh, I need to do this.

[Crystal]

I actually thought men were whores for having silk pillowcases, because that's part that.

[Ashala]

No, that's you. Well, unless he got dreads or hair, then it is for him if he got braids or dreads. I'm not even thinking it's for a bitch. I'm thinking, this nigga cares about his locks. I hope so. They do. Okay. Another way to incorporate this is with temperature play. So warmed or cooled objects to stimulate nerve endings. Now, this is the tip that I found so interesting because I never thought about it. Oh, that was my mom's tip. She did do that, didn't she?

[Crystal]

Mm.

[Ashala]

So a cool tip for this would be for those of you with lube now. Yes, the. Sometimes you just keep it in your drawer. You keep it around. Well, the tip is to actually place one of your lubes in the fridge, place them in the fridge. And it says, instead of just applying it to your genitals, this could be a fun way for you to incorporate a cold sensation all over the body.

[Crystal]

Okay, so maybe just massage oil in the fridge.

[Ashala]

Well, it said Astro Glide liquid in the fridge, but I wonder.

[Crystal]

I accidentally massaged my nigga with lube once instead of.

[Ashala]

Oh, shit.

[Crystal]

Because it's just dark. And I'm.

[Ashala]

I was about to ask you what was. I'm just. It does get a little sick after a while.

[Crystal]

Okay. We just did this role play, and it was so dumb. It was only three days ago, but basically, he got out the shower. Yeah. I think he told me he wanted to do more role play while we were at dinner. I'm like, is there anything you want? It was the part of that conversation I was saying on our last episode, do anything you want. And he was like, I just don't want no's. Like, I want us to do weird shit to each other's bodies. Like, I want everything to feel like a yes all the time. And I'm like, okay. So I got out the shower, and he was laying down on a towel. I think he was like, lotioning up after his shower. And so I got out in heels and panties, and I was like, sir, thank you so much for coming to the student massage class. I hope I do well. I might mess up, but I'm hoping that I can please you. So he's just looking at me like, what the fuck is wrong with this bitch? So I laid him down, and I put the towel over his eyes, and I turned the lights down because for some reason, for me, I get nervous when the lights are bright.

[Ashala]

Okay?

[Crystal]

I'm just like, you like the mood, bro.

[Ashala]

You got the mood set of.

[Crystal]

Also, like, I got that one scar from when I got fucked up. You know what I'm saying? I got green on my knee for him to bruise it. Like, it's just too much. So I turned the light down. Now I can't see lube or oil. And they kind of, you know, so.

[Ashala]

And they do different things.

[Crystal]

Once it went on his body, I knew it wasn't vitamin E. And I started to feel how thick it was. And then it got hair. So it was. But, you know, I was still at it. Also, he was, like, really good of an actor. Too good. And it started to make me laugh.

[Ashala]

Because what was he acting like?

[Crystal]

I was like. He was like, oh, not there. Not there. Right? Like, basically saying I wasn't doing any good. I was like, oh, no. Well, is this Better. So I started to suck his dick, and he was like, my wife doesn't let me do that.

[Ashala]

That's true. You just got a little taste of the horrible decisions Patreon. But why stop there? Tap in for the full, uncut and way nastier episodes over on patreon. Go to patreon.com horrible decisions and unlock all the messy tea, wild stories and bonus content you won't hear any where else. And now here's you've got decision.

[Crystal]

If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?

[Ashala]

You've got decisions. You've got decisions, period.

[Crystal]

Hi, everybody. Welcome back. It's hump day. Have you humped?

[E]

Oh, yes, I have.

[Ashala]

You humped this morning?

[E]

Not this.

[Crystal]

Wait, let's see who humped the most recently? Oh, for sure. Me.

[E]

Well, yeah, this morning for sure.

[Ashala]

You.

[Crystal]

You humped today?

[E]

This morning.

[Crystal]

You humped this morning?

[Ashala]

No, I didn't hump today, but over the last month, for sure.

[Crystal]

Wait, we're seeing who did it the most recent.

[E]

I did this morning.

[Crystal]

You had sex this morning?

[E]

I did.

[Crystal]

I had sex two days ago.

[Ashala]

Oh, no. All of y' all beat me then.

[Crystal]

Wolf, like a week ago.

[Ashala]

Mine was, like, four days ago.

[E]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Crystal]

Damn, you got some pussy this morning?

[Ashala]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Did you release?

[E]

Yes. Thank you for asking me.

[Ashala]

I didn't know.

[Crystal]

So you know we're in the company of semen retention type.

[E]

No, I mean, that. That's fair. I mean, how long do you retain Wolf?

[D]

What do you mean?

[Crystal]

Also, Wolf has never told me this. I'm guessing this from the berries in his posts and his hair.

[D]

Give me more.

[E]

Are you guessing? Are you guessing?

[Crystal]

Do you do semen retention? Like, do you not release?

[D]

I try not to.

[E]

Yeah. Like, the longest I've gone and maybe in the last year was probably like two weeks.

[Crystal]

My nigga, you being predictable is fun. Yesterday, Wolf Poaches posted some conscious rap. He's like, I just discovered this artist. I'm like, yeah, okay.

[Ashala]

He discovered you the artist. I'm curious.

[D]

A from Atlanta. His name? Marco. Plus, he hard.

[Ashala]

Oh, with the dreads?

[D]

Yeah, with the dreads.

[Ashala]

Yeah, he's attractive.

[Crystal]

Is he also vegan?

[Ashala]

No. It's funny because I was on. I was on Twitch, and I ended up talking about, like, the music that I like, So I was talking about the Joyner Lucas record, Nevermind, mvm, but it has Maya in the video, so I did a whole breakdown of how dope I thought that was. But Also how you could be a fucking attractive ass man. And when you realize that you a fuck nigga, immediately in the video he started looking unattractive by what Maya was rapping about. So then I go from that to be like in this record reminded me of my favorite record from J. Cole called Loved Ones. So then I go and I talk about Loved Ones. Let's talk about a goddamn girl getting pregnant and a nigga wanting her to have an abortion.

[D]

My dad loves that song.

[Ashala]

That takes me then I love that song.

[Crystal]

My dad loves that song.

[E]

It's nuts.

[Ashala]

That then takes me to a new conscious rapper. Which is why I asked you who it was that I just. I fell in love with. Love his music and his name. He goes by Ben Reilly, but also heroman or Hero man or he has like an alter. He has like an alter alter ego. So anyways, I'm playing this music and when I tell you, everyone in the chat was like, I don't know what I expected, but I didn't think to you for you to like conscious rap.

[D]

Me too. A couple times with that.

[Ashala]

You and I don't. I don't like that you do this because you and I like the same. He said you city draw, bro.

[D]

Like the J. Cole, like appreciation.

[Ashala]

I took you to the Larry June thing. Like, I love.

[D]

No, you got good sex.

[Ashala]

I like Nick.

[Crystal]

Larry June's a conscious guy.

[Ashala]

Larry June conscious enough. Larry June is like. And he light skinned, so he looks like he should be toxic. But his music is like vegan bitch. You gonna be happy. You gonna drink a smoothie.

[E]

You gonna drive this car. Ride your bike like, ride your bike.

[Ashala]

Drop the top. He is so like people actually conscious.

[Crystal]

Rap is great for a city bike, I'll say that. Oh, for sure. I'm not a consc? But I type in Lupe fiasco and it just let the shit show up.

[D]

That's a good thing.

[Ashala]

For real? Yeah, I think, I think the only guy that I really, really like that's not super conscious rap, but actually he is because he be tying in little bible verses is Kevin Gates. He just. His public life, his personal life is toxic. But his music is like, he be talking some real ass shit.

[D]

Matured for sure.

[Crystal]

You know, I will tell you, I've been seeing a lot of Cardi B Shame on the Internet over the last few years.

[Ashala]

You got a different algorithm, baby. They praising her ass online.

[Crystal]

I. I see people talking shit about Stephan and the girls and.

[Ashala]

Oh, well, no, that's what we talking shit about.

[Crystal]

Yeah, that's What? I'm talking about a lot. Oh, not her album. No, no, no. But I was going to say if anybody needs to be shamed, it has to be Britney Renner. We really glazed over that. We're worried about Cardi, the rich bitch who had her fourth kid.

[Ashala]

Who cares?

[Crystal]

Brittany Renner was a Muslim and went back to. Nah, I'm talking about Job dog the whole time. I mean, hold on.

[Ashala]

Jackie Chrissy said you still be hoeing under that hijab. Jackie Chrissy called that thing out.

[Crystal]

And then when she's sitting here posting like, oh my God, the way that. That whole shit where her baby daddy went, like, I be wanting to be here for the hoes. And I got Britney's little book when she was on her little hoe run to support ho.

[Ashala]

Not too much on her. Cause I want her on the spot.

[Crystal]

I do.

[Ashala]

But like I want Brittany Renner on this goddamn podcast.

[Crystal]

And also love with Britney did that.

[Ashala]

Was gonna bleep them though. We not gonna use that. Them words here.

[Crystal]

Nobody cares about them niggas. But no, there's no, there's no way. There's got to be a cross. I'm. I'm sorry. Like, I, I would hope that that audience wouldn't even dare click on this. But I say all this to say Brittany Rivers has had some great moments in her life in the hijab. 45 days was not one of them for me.

[Ashala]

Okay, can I be honest?

[Crystal]

I would have left it on a little bit longer.

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[Ashala]

I'll be honest with y'.

[Crystal]

All.

[Ashala]

I'd wear a hijab for Kevin Gates. Nah, like, I feel like that would be great. He makes you squirt mad times. I feel like he eats your ass and do spitballs.

[Crystal]

I don't think he need the hijab for.

[Ashala]

I'm not going to hold you. I would wear a hijab for Kevin Gates.

[Crystal]

Sorry, guys, I don't mean to do. On my phone. I'm just contacting Black Effect. Unless y' all can talk about me.

[Ashala]

In the goddamn YouTube comment, I'mma be up here like Ashala or whatever.

[Crystal]

They're going to start making cookie videos. This is turkey bacon.

[E]

She about to eat. Go like this.

[Crystal]

Bitch, if you start washing. You know you got. You can't do your nails like that.

[Ashala]

Why I can't do my nails like this?

[Crystal]

Because you have to pray.

[Ashala]

No rhinestones.

[Crystal]

No. You have to pray with clean hands. No polish, no nothing.

[Ashala]

These is clean, bitch. I will do headset.

[Crystal]

I think I might have said this on a pod recently. I found out about the nail polish thing. Cause there was this girl that I used to work with. And whenever she was on her period, she'd be like, let's get pedicures. Cause she could paint her toes. Because you can't do it on your period. Cause that's considered unclean, too.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[Ashala]

Well, Kevin Gates eating my ass is unclean. But I'mma be wearing that hijab. He gonna pull it from the back. Cause you know I ain't got no hair. Be like, oh, pull my hijab, daddy.

[D]

Hey, nobody was eating ass until Kevin Gates don't get enough credit.

[Crystal]

That's not true, Jan. She said you got booty like groceries.

[D]

She got that from him, though.

[Crystal]

Out of here.

[Ashala]

Wait, she got that. Wait, she got.

[E]

Now, please, wol. I'm. I'm on the set with them, not you.

[Ashala]

Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Kevin G. Like the E Booty Train.

[D]

He started the booty eat.

[Crystal]

No, he started a car. He did not start.

[E]

He did start a car. His figures.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[D]

Just like Wayne got.

[Ashala]

You know why he did that? Cuz they was probably clean. I'm just saying. Anywho, y', all, bro, when I saw that clip, we gonna help our good sis out. Our good sis would like to know, is she a Hater or bitter. Either way, let's see which one she is. Either one is good, which lets me know.

[Crystal]

Love the title.

[Ashala]

She's self aware that she is. Whatever she feel right now ain't right. Hello.

[E]

Thank you. Thank you for starting like that.

[Ashala]

So I have a friend and we have been friends for almost 20 years.

[Crystal]

Damn.

[Ashala]

Recently she broke up with her toxic boyfriend of 15 years last week.

[E]

Good for you.

[Ashala]

Well, here's the part where folks are calling me bitter. She is now sleeping with my brother, who she also calls, quote, unquote, brother. And the way I found out is one day I went to his house and she was sitting on his couch. I asked her what was she doing there, and she didn't answer. And the whole time I was there, she didn't say a word to me. She basically looked like a random bitch at my brother house. And we're best friends. We haven't really talked since. And she is saying that I'm not talking to her because of him, mind you. We never had a conversation about it at all. And my sisters told her the whole situation is weird and awkward. Now, am I bitter or a hater? Because I separated from the whole situation. Mind you, we are in our mid-30s.

[E]

I think she's.

[Crystal]

I don't think you're either.

[E]

I don't think. Yeah. Not. Yeah. Cause I mean, you're. You go to your brother's house, she's there, she ignores you. She also. I don't care about her calling her brother also brother at the same time. It doesn't matter. Yeah, it'd be like that. But I don't think she's really a hater or bitter there. I think that shorty's being kind of weird for me.

[Crystal]

I think when girls, like, start sleeping with, let's just say one of the homeboys or maybe like a coworker of yours or like a friend that you introduced them to, there becomes this, like, weird energy. Like, I've noticed it over time when it's come to, like, Alex hasn't really been super single, I guess. Like he. He was single for a bit at the start of our friendship. But I'm noticing it now with Jeff at dropouts. Like, a bitch might want to be put on to him or they might start acting funny or they'll hit him up and he'd be like, ain't this your homegirl? And I'm like, I mean, my homegirl. Like, bitch, you just gonna ask me about the nigga?

[E]

Well, what's the expectation? So is the expectation that she. So she should have went through her homegirl.

[Crystal]

I think it's just when there's a connection. Other two. So, for example, let's just say you had a homeboy, and maybe y' all went out tonight to a bar and you and his friend connected after. But this is a homeboy you talk to almost every day, kind of hiding. It could get weird.

[E]

That's weird.

[Crystal]

So when you have a really close friend that kind of like, does a little I. From what I'm hearing, they're super close. And it's awkward that she's not bringing up this or that it was hidden.

[Ashala]

To me, the only reason why I think it would be awkward is if for whatever reason she knows or they've talked about how her brother is a terrible catch. Like, if her brother is a whole ass fuck boy. Fuck ass nigga. And you just broke up with a toxic partner of 15 years. To me, I don't think you're bitter or a hater, but I think you have the right to feel like bitch. Now you with my toxic ass ain't good for shit, brother. To me, though, I do feel like it's not that you're bitter or that you're a hater. I think both of you bitches are weird because now both of y' all bitches are just randomly not talking to each other. Bitch, you weird, too. Is she weird for not talking to you? To be fair, you can call her weird, but if she sat in that house and you didn't say a word to her either. Again, both of y' all are weird. But to be fair, giving grace to your friend. And I don't even like inviting that bitch to the cookout often, I don't like that whole grace. But she was probably embarrassed. She was probably embarrassed because if you've known her for 20 years, that means she know your brother for about 20 years. So to me, I think there's probably a level of embarrassment there that she wasn't ready to share. And to be fair, as friends, we have to acknowledge there's a lot of times where we're dealing with men and people that we're sleeping with that don't get to meet our friends. Like, that's a common thing. So I get it. Maybe you feeling away. Cause it's your actual brother. But there's a lot of men that my friends date or fudge or have been fudgeing for a long time. And I never get.

[Crystal]

Yeah, you're going to tell me when it's my family. I know that we don't owe anybody anything, but I believe I'm owed that.

[E]

But is she wrong for wanting to fuck her brother? And it doesn't really matter if he ain't shit either, right? If she just came out of this toxic.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I don't think the ain't shit thing.

[E]

Does it matter? What if she just wanted some dick? That's what I was just thinking.

[Crystal]

I just think the weird part is, like, if I'm fucking your brother, let's just say, yeah, it's your brother, and. And we work together, right. And you end up seeing me somewhere with him. You don't need to hit me first. I need to be like, I didn't. Sorry I didn't say anything. I thought it was kind of weird. I need to call you first. Yeah, I believe that's owed. It's not like she fucked your home.

[E]

Like, even if they just fucking. Even if y' all just fucking, bro.

[Crystal]

I need to hit you up and.

[Ashala]

Tell you why I go call you if I'm just fucking your family member.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Ashala]

I don't think that we just fucking.

[D]

Yeah, I don't think you need to know.

[Ashala]

I don't think you need to know.

[Crystal]

You don't need to know. But if you run into us and it's weird, I should give you a.

[Ashala]

Call maybe that we shouldn't be running into, like, I think that's what I'm saying. Like, it got awkward because maybe this has been happening and she got caught. So there was an embarrassment there. But I don't think that she had to tell her that she was fucking her brother.

[Crystal]

Maybe she didn't have to.

[Ashala]

If someone comes around and starts fucking my sisters, like, I have two sisters. That ain't my business unless she want to tell me or he want to tell me.

[Crystal]

But who are your two closest guy best friends?

[Ashala]

I mean, I would say Ish. And what is the guy doing? Oh, everyone else is gay, so they don't count. Okay.

[Crystal]

If Ish started fucking your sister, you would not be weirded out by.

[Ashala]

If Ish has a woman. Yeah. A fiance that I would respect.

[E]

Well, let's just take that out.

[Ashala]

But if he was single and he came and met my. Even my best friend. Let's be very clear. I go to my best friend. I go to my sister. They're in Florida.

[Crystal]

So if Ish and Crystal started fucking, you wouldn't be like, no one said anything to me, and I'm just around y' all niggas.

[Ashala]

I'm not gonna hold you.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Ashala]

No, I don't Want to know my business, huh? But that's what I'm saying. I tell people when I'm fucking people, like, to be fair. Do you know what's crazy? Crystal was just kind of. She wasn't mad because she got it, but there was a nigga that I was fucking, and I shouldn't have been fucking him. And I kept it to myself until I was ready for the lashes that I was gonna get from my friends. This nigga that I shouldn't have been.

[D]

Fucking, as you should.

[Ashala]

And so I waited on my own time to say when I was done fucking that like, you know what I mean?

[Crystal]

Two close friends, right?

[Ashala]

Two close friends fucking. That ain't my business.

[Crystal]

Okay, let's just say my homeboy Andre, that's one of my close homeboys, right? And Breonda start. Fuck, man.

[Ashala]

If me and Andre start fucking tomorrow, not telling each other, do they need to tell you? And I'll work with you.

[E]

They need to tell you, right? I mean, yeah, he likely, but we.

[Crystal]

Just done type of friends. But I'm gonna be honest with you. If Andre and Breonda started fucking, I actually think he would tell me about Mandy before Breonda, because there's. There's tension with Mandy, and I.

[D]

If he didn't tell you, you would feel away about it, right?

[Crystal]

Hello. Did y' all see how I acted when I thought Alex was lying to me about this whole, like, do we need to go back to that moment?

[Ashala]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[E]

That was one of my.

[Crystal]

But I was like, oh, so we're all. I genuinely thought it was true.

[Ashala]

Yeah, okay.

[Crystal]

You can think that my reaction was real.

[Better Picks Ad]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Yeah. So what I'm saying, you can roll your eyes. My reaction was real.

[Ashala]

If I.

[Crystal]

If I was genuinely thinking it was. I wasn't acting like that was a real reaction I had, right? To me, if Andre and Breonda start fucking in my head, I'm like, there's a secret going on that I don't know about. I'm hanging out with this one, I'm hanging out with this one, and they're, like, doing this weird shit.

[Ashala]

The secret of who we fucking needs to be a secret. It ain't your business.

[Crystal]

There are two people I hang out with every day. To me, it gets weird and messy.

[E]

Still not your business.

[Ashala]

It's still not your business.

[E]

I guess I agree. I can be honest with you.

[Crystal]

I actually don't give a fuck. I've seen motherfuckers around each other. I own a business with her. I get money with this nigga. We putting each other on. And now I just have no idea of this thing going on.

[D]

Your kids, though, you don't pay their bills.

[E]

It's the secret. It's the underlying secret.

[Crystal]

I do, though. I work with Breonda. Yes, Deeply. Right. So to me, like, it gets super messy, as if it would be Mandy too. That's my coworker. So now you can't pull up to.

[E]

A show anymore, business wise, where it messes up for you.

[D]

Business wise?

[Crystal]

Fuck yeah.

[D]

I'm with you business.

[Crystal]

But also the closeness, too, of like a secret. I don't know. I mean, I don't really care how. It's not to anybody. Y' all can drag me in the comments. If we are that close to where we talk every day and I talk to these two people every day, I feel like there's a lie for me. I don't. I'm not saying no one has ever asked for permission. That's stupid. I'm just saying, like, hiding it feels weird.

[E]

What would be the better way to go about it then, right? So it's like, let's say if I do one fuck said friend, am I supposed to ask for permission? No, we start supposed to, like, throw a little. Little match in there to see if it lights up. Like, what do I do?

[Ashala]

See, what's crazy about that is if that is a conversation between us, if we're fucking and you tell one of our close friends that we're fucking without conversing with me that you're gonna tell, I'm gonna have a problem with you telling people that we have this relationship or we have, or we fucked. Maybe we just fucked once and I don't want no one to know we ever fucked because maybe it was a mistake. Maybe we'll never do it again. And if you go out and tell somebody, especially a close friend or anyone that we know that we fucked and that wasn't a conversation with me, whether we were gonna tell or not, bitch, now I got a problem. Because I think it does. That's not something.

[Crystal]

I think it does have to be a convo, actually, with the two.

[Ashala]

With the two people.

[Crystal]

No, no, I'm saying, like, they need to.

[Ashala]

If the brother. If the brother and your friend. Back to the listener. If the brother and your friend both decided this was something that they were going to keep on the low because they didn't feel like they wanted to involve you because they didn't know what this was and they didn't want all the outside noise being brought into their decisions as Grown as adults. You brought up that everyone's in their mid-30s. Yes, bitch, you're weird.

[E]

They kind of sucked for that because it's like, why the fuck did you not coordinate that properly if you knew she was coming over?

[Ashala]

She might not have known this.

[Crystal]

It's a. Oh, it's her brother. Maybe she popped up.

[Ashala]

She probably just popped up.

[E]

But then even, hey, why did he.

[Crystal]

By the way, this actually did happen to me, and it's a sore spot because I was lied to. And we were around each other every day for, like, at least two weeks, and I'm just like, why are these niggas being weird? I'm also coming from.

[E]

I mean, that's where it kind of sucks.

[Crystal]

I've already felt it too. I don't want to give too much detail, but basically I was in a situation with two people for a few days where I was the only one that didn't know this thing. Good night, y'.

[D]

All.

[Crystal]

And then they're, like, sneaking around to me. It's hella weird that, like, we a little too old for you to be fucking.

[E]

They probably had fun with that, though. That's probably the fun. That lied within it. It was sneaking around.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Ashala]

There's a difference between lying and omitting.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[E]

Like, no, no, no.

[Ashala]

They're. They're the difference.

[E]

They're omitting there, they're omitting there.

[Ashala]

They weren't lying.

[Crystal]

Imagine you're on a trip with two people, okay. And the two people are unavailable. Are you like, oh, okay, I'm gonna go to bed.

[E]

A trip of you three.

[Crystal]

Just imagine just you three. You could say that.

[E]

Oh, that sucks.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[E]

I'd be kind of tight.

[Ashala]

Why is the third wheel not get no pussy?

[Crystal]

Yeah, well, I.

[E]

Well, I'm trying to figure out maybe I want to do shit with my friends, and y' all fuck it.

[Crystal]

Literally.

[E]

Just let me know we cool enough.

[Crystal]

But I also think at some point, it does become a bit of a lie. Like, omitting and lying.

[E]

I guess it's intent kind of right now, when.

[Crystal]

When it came out, let people have. Was so awkward because I had to ask.

[E]

Oh, okay.

[Better Picks Ad]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

I mean, I'm like, bro, so we just not gonna go out again? Oh, y' all are.

[E]

So when they told you. I have to ask. I'm so sorry. What was your. What was your initial reaction? And who told you out of the two?

[Crystal]

They both. Oh, I said it at the same time. I was like, are y' all fucking? Cause nobody's. I'm so confused.

[E]

And what was their reaction?

[Crystal]

We are out. We can't go out. Oh, shit. One of them was super remorseful. They were like, fuck, this was so dumb. Why would I lie? And the other one was just like, oh, we have to cut it, because we're all gonna be friends through you. And this is gonna be weird. So I don't know what to do. It ruins the trip. But that's the thing, though. Like, I think sometimes when sex gets in the way between adults and they don't know how to, like, make it chill or casual, you could feel that energy. And normally, when you're fucking women, that's gonna happen.

[E]

So how could they approach you with that then? I'm sure it just happens, like, spontaneously, right? Or impulsively. We've all had those women.

[Ashala]

That's what I'm saying. I don't care.

[Crystal]

Right.

[E]

But then when would have they told you?

[Crystal]

Maybe after the 8th or 10th day of the trip.

[Ashala]

Say something to me.

[E]

It's weird, but it's also fun because, like, you know, it's our little secret.

[Ashala]

I would love. Yo, I love little secret.

[E]

I went with All American Rejects.

[Ashala]

That's how. Oh, sorry, I can't feel my dirty.

[Crystal]

That's All American Rejects?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

That's where you went with it?

[E]

Yeah. I'm sorry. High school.

[Ashala]

This is a black champ.

[E]

I understand there's black women that like All American Rejects. I'm sure.

[Crystal]

I don't even want to admit that. That's.

[Ashala]

Wait, is it. You probably only know that because they were just on Costa. Not streaming.

[Crystal]

No, they were on Kaiser training.

[Ashala]

High school performing.

[E]

Yeah, they were. They were performing. It's actually kind of crazy.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Ashala]

Wow.

[E]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Kaisannot is our new Oprah.

[Ashala]

All right.

[E]

You know, that's actually a funny take.

[Crystal]

I don't know how he is when Kaisanat starts getting more white people on their watch.

[E]

Is she bitter or she hates Kaiser?

[Crystal]

Not better than call her daddy for pr.

[Ashala]

She. She's weird. She's weird and she needs to get over it. And she needs to take the steps of admitting, hey, I feel left out of this. I wish I would have known. As my best friend of 20 years, I wish he would have let me know. Hope he treats you well. And if he don't, I'mma fuck him up. Y' all have fun.

[Crystal]

She's supposed to say it.

[Ashala]

She needs to say something.

[D]

Oh, yeah, the girl. She broke a girl code the minute she didn't speak to her. That's the way.

[Crystal]

Oh, see, that's what? That's What I was going to say, I feel like the other one, because she didn't speak.

[Ashala]

Yeah, but then they both sat there and didn't speak to each other and then haven't spoke since. I mean, so they both weird.

[E]

Yeah, but they're both weird.

[Ashala]

They're both weird.

[E]

But what if they're not confrontational? Like, what do you want to do?

[Ashala]

Well, yeah. Why you got confrontation with me? Because of who I'm. That's crazy. Yeah, I was gonna say your brother got. It might be good.

[Crystal]

You know, if this was men and it was a yo sister, it would have been different.

[Ashala]

Well, that's because of the patriarchy and how they view purity in terms of sisters not being able to be hoes, even though niggas know when they sister's a hoe.

[Crystal]

Like, I'm gonna be real with you. Like, the way that men are like, yeah, it's men and their sisters are different.

[D]

I got a sister and, like, I would be shocked for sure. But it's like that as long. Listen long, it ain't no crazy going on and I gotta step in and, like, defend her honor, right?

[Ashala]

Yeah, I agree.

[D]

Whatever she want to do with her.

[Ashala]

That's true. Especially in your mid-30s.

[E]

That's the only reason.

[D]

No, I'm just saying that's the only reason.

[E]

It was not because of her and her dignity is because you wanted to slide.

[D]

No, no, no. That ain't it. That ain't it.

[Ashala]

Damn it. I mean, shit, my sister dating my old basketball teammate, and she ain't come to me and be like, yeah, we used to play basketball together, and now.

[E]

That'S my sister basketball team.

[Ashala]

I mean, we played. We played. We played aau. We played two years in middle school and we played a year in high school.

[Crystal]

When's the last time you spoke to the person she's dating?

[Ashala]

It don't matter. We were teammates.

[Crystal]

I definitely been like, bitch, guess who I'm fucking now?

[Ashala]

Yeah, well, I mean, I think I saw it on Facebook. Anyways, if you guys have a question and want us to call you weird and delusional, go ahead and send your questions here so we can call you out for your [e-mail] Also, if you're a patron, we'll get to yours first, so make sure you follow us. Patreon.com Horrible decisions. Because horrible Decisions is still here. That's right. Every week on Tuesday.

[Crystal]

I was telling you he was reading it.

[Ashala]

That's right.

[Crystal]

It still dropped.

[Ashala]

Well, you know, I got my little radio voice now. Your girl got a radio show. Anyways, if you're in Atlanta, check me out. Six, eight Saturdays. Hot. 1079. Boom. And this is another. You got decisions, do you? Puss ass hoes next week.

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[Ashala]

This is an iHeart podcast.