Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: Decisions, Decisions
Episode: You've Got Decisions: Am I a Hater or Bitter? (ft. Eddin & Wolf)
Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF (a.k.a. Ashala & Crystal in episode), with guests Eddin & Wolf
Release Date: October 15, 2025

Overview

This lively episode of "Decisions, Decisions" blends sex-positive curiosity with candid talk about boundaries and friendship drama. Hosts Mandii B and WeezyWTF (Crystal), joined by Eddin and Wolf, kick off with some "kinks & fetishes you may not know," then turn to the listener dilemma of the week: when your longtime best friend starts secretly sleeping with your brother. The group debates whether the listener is justified in feeling weird, bitter, or if everyone’s just being a little messy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kinks and Fetishes: The ABCs of Mother Earth (00:36-09:40)

• Unusual Fetishes Breakdown:
  • Actorasty (00:36): Sexual arousal from sunlight/sun rays.
  • Aquaphilia (01:44): Sex or arousal involving water.
  • Brontophilia (01:53): Sexual attraction to thunderstorms.
  • Chasmophilia (03:26): Arousal by crevices/caverns/valleys.
• Personal Anecdotes:
  • Crystal recounts having sex in a (man-made) cave in Jamaica, reflecting on chasmophilia.
  • Ashala expresses genuine identification with brontophilia:

    “The way I rub my pussy when it's raining… time to, like, go play with myself. When I hear that goddamn rain and thunder, my whole body shuts down. And I just get horny.” – Ashala (02:19)

• Tactile Exploration (05:02): The gang chats about bringing new textures into the bedroom—silk sheets, cool or warm massage oils, lube from the fridge, etc.

  “Silk sheets give a way different feeling when you're having sex on your body… you slide a little bit more.” – Ashala (05:02)

• Role-play and Mishaps:
  • Crystal shares a recent sensory-driven role-play gone awry (she used lube by mistake):

    “Once it went on his body, I knew it wasn't vitamin E. And I started to feel how thick it was… But, you know, I was still at it.” – Crystal (08:47)

2. Relationship Roundtable: The "You've Got Decisions" Listener Dilemma (09:41-28:00)

The Situation

• Listener’s Email (18:22):
  • Best friends for 20 years.
  • Listener’s friend breaks up with a toxic boyfriend of 15 years.
  • Friend is now sleeping with listener’s brother, whom she also refers to as her "brother".
  • Listener finds out by walking in on her friend at her brother’s house. Friend doesn’t speak, and there's an awkward silence.
  • Sisters have confronted friend and say it's weird/awkward.
  • The question: Is the listener being bitter, a hater, or justifiably weirded out?

Group Reaction & Analysis

• Initial Reaction:
  • Eddin: “I don’t think you’re either [a hater or bitter]. Shorty’s being kind of weird.” (19:35)
  • Crystal: “When girls start sleeping with one of the homeboys… there becomes this weird energy.” (19:54)
• Expectations Around Disclosure:
  • Consensus that if it’s a close friend and family member, it’s weirder if they hide it (21:54-24:10).
  • Crystal: “If Andre and Breonda started fucking… I actually think he would tell me... There’s tension... it gets weird and messy.” (25:15)
  • Ashala: “The secret of who we fucking needs to be a secret. It ain't your business.” (25:51)
• Omission vs. Lying:
  • Ashala: "There's a difference between lying and omitting." (28:49)
  • The group debates: Is not telling an active lie, or just avoiding an awkward conversation?
  • Crystal pushes: “At some point, it does become a bit of a lie... omitting and lying...” (29:21)
• Anecdotes and Relatability:
  • Both Crystal and Ashala share stories of secret hook-ups within their circle and reflect on how secrecy changes group dynamics (24:18-30:26).
• Navigating Disclosure:
  • The importance of context:
    • If it’s casual/fling, discretion is more expected.
    • If it’s ongoing and among super close friends or business partners, transparency may be needed.

    “If we are that close… there’s a lie for me. I’m not saying anyone needs permission, but hiding it feels weird.” – Crystal (26:29)

  • On approaching the topic:

    “If you tell someone without discussing with the person you’re fucking, now I got a problem.” – Ashala (27:00)

• Gender & Social Norms:
  • If dynamics were reversed (a guy’s sister vs. a woman’s brother), expectations would shift due to patriarchy, purity narratives, etc. (32:13-32:41).

3. Resolutions & Final Thoughts (31:24-33:56)

• Verdicts:
  • Ashala: “She’s weird and she needs to get over it… As my best friend of 20 years, I wish you’d have let me know. Hope he treats you well. If he don’t, I’ma fuck him up. Y’ all have fun.” (31:25)
  • D (Wolf): “She broke a girl code the minute she didn’t speak to her.” (31:45)
  • Ultimately both Ashala and Crystal agree both parties are being “weird” for not communicating.
  • General takeaway:
    • Adults don’t “owe” each other details about consensual hookups, but in very close, lifelong friendships, secrecy invites drama.

    “There’s a difference between lying and omitting… but if you feel left out, just say it and move on.” – Ashala (28:49/31:25)

4. Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Fetishes:
  • “Fucking in the water. Aqua… Oh, yeah, you know.” – Crystal (01:44)
  • “Brontophilia is the fetish when someone gets extremely aroused by thunderstorms.” – Ashala (01:58)
• Friendship/Family Boundaries:
  • “If you're a patron, we'll get to yours first, so make sure you follow us...” – Ashala (33:24)
  • “I don’t want to know my business, huh? But that’s what I’m saying—I tell people when I’m fucking people… until I’m ready for the lashes I was gonna get from my friends.” – Ashala (24:18)
• On Secrets:
  • “I would love… yo, I love little secrets...” – Ashala (30:47)
• Gender Double Standards:
  • “If this was men and it was a yo sister, it would have been different.” – Crystal (32:13)
  • “That’s because of the patriarchy and how they view purity in terms of sisters not being able to be hoes.” – Ashala (32:20)

Important Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | Description | |-------------------------------------|--------------|----------------------------------------------| | Fetish & Kink Round | 00:36–09:40 | Unusual sexual fetishes, personal stories | | Listener Dilemma: Hater or Bitter? | 18:22–30:47 | The friendship/family drama unfolds | | Group Discussion: Secrecy & Norms | 24:00–33:00 | Secrets, “girl code”, omitting vs lying | | Final Thoughts & Listener Takeaways | 31:24–33:56 | Resolutions, advice, normalized boundaries |

Tone & Language

True to the podcast’s reputation, the conversation is ultra-candid, irreverent, and laced with raunchy humor. The hosts keep things real, sometimes cutting each other off, or arguing playfully, but always circling back to the importance of honesty, sex positivity, and unlearning outdated relationship norms.

Conclusion

“Decisions, Decisions” provides a hilarious, authentic window into the intersection of sex, friendship, and boundaries. In this episode, the co-hosts and guests don’t offer a black-and-white answer but instead point out everyone’s “weirdness” when open communication is missing—whether it’s a hidden fetish, a secret office romance, or your best friend sleeping with your brother. If you’re dealing with messy friend/family entanglements, their advice rings clear: awkwardness is inevitable, but owning your feelings and having honest conversations can help move everyone forward.