You've Got Decisons: Dry Spell Cure ASAP

Summary

Decisions, Decisions: Episode Summary - "You've Got Decisions: Dry Spell Cure ASAP"

In this engaging episode of "Decisions, Decisions" hosted by Mandii B and WeezyWTF from The Black Effect and iHeartPodcasts, the dynamic duo tackles a common yet often uncomfortable topic: navigating dry spells in long-term relationships. Released on August 13, 2025, the episode delves deep into strategies for rekindling intimacy and maintaining a vibrant romantic connection.

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1. Listener's Dilemma: Understanding the Dry Spell

The episode centers around a heartfelt question from a listener experiencing recurrent dry spells with her long-term boyfriend. She shares her struggles with balancing differing work schedules, which often leave little room for intimacy. Despite enjoying quality time together during days off, physical connection remains sparse, leading her to seek advice on how to reignite the spark without resorting to scheduling sex or using substances like mushrooms.

Listener's Message Highlights:

• Duration Together: Dating for three years, living together for a year and a half.
• Work Dynamics: Listener works mornings; boyfriend works nights, causing mismatched schedules.
• Quality Time vs. Intimacy: Enjoys activities like watching shows and playing games, but lacks sexual connection.
• Desired Outcome: Seeks fun and playful ways to get in the mood and prevent frequent dry spells.

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2. Hosts' Immediate Reactions and Relatability

Mandii and Devon immediately resonate with the listener’s predicament, infusing the conversation with humor and personal anecdotes. They empathize with the challenge of maintaining passion amidst busy lives and shifting routines.

Notable Quote:

• Mandii (07:20): "I have sex every day, but I wouldn't say it's spicy."

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3. Practical Strategies to Rekindle Intimacy

The hosts transition into offering actionable advice, emphasizing the importance of intentionality and creativity in fostering a healthy sexual relationship.

A. Personal Scheduling for Intimacy

Mandii suggests taking control by creating a personal schedule dedicated to intimacy, rather than relying on shared calendars that may feel impersonal or corny.

Notable Quote:

• Mandii (08:30): "I would make your own fucking calendar. Don't make a calendar where he's sharing it. I would make a calendar that literally tells yourself you need to be doing this shit."

B. Spicing Up Date Nights

Devon emphasizes the significance of transforming date nights into sensual experiences. By selecting environments that naturally set a romantic or sexy mood, couples can naturally enhance their physical connection.

Notable Quote:

• Devon (09:58): "Set a date night with intent to suck his dick on the car ride home."

C. Incorporating Sex Toys and Accessories

Introducing sex toys tailored to personal interests can inject novelty and excitement into the bedroom. Devon shares her experience with unique and personalized toys, making intimacy more playful and engaging.

Notable Quote:

• Devon (19:07): "What you can do is, like, pop out with your partner and tell them to fuck me with this dildo."

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4. Personal Anecdotes: Learning from Experience

Mandii and Devon share their own experiences with maintaining passion in long-term relationships. They discuss the challenges of falling into routine and the importance of stepping outside comfort zones to keep the romance alive.

Notable Quote:

• Mandii (10:21): "If someone takes me to a champagne piano bar, baby, I'm like, why are we still here? I want to put it in my mouth."

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5. Creative Suggestions: Transforming Outings into Opportunities for Intimacy

The hosts propose visiting establishments that inherently carry a sexy vibe, such as low-pressure strip clubs or burlesque bars. These environments can serve as catalysts for heightened sensuality and open the door for more intimate encounters.

Notable Quote:

• Mandii (14:35): "Strip clubs to me are very non-threatening for spicing up relationships because... you're experiencing this together."

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6. Enhancing Communication: The Power of Dirty Talk

Effective communication, especially in the form of dirty talk, plays a crucial role in maintaining sexual excitement. Mandii discusses the importance of verbalizing desires and fantasies to keep the dialogue about intimacy open and engaging.

Notable Quote:

• Mandii (18:11): "Step our dirty talk up too, bitch."

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7. Empowerment: Taking Charge of Your Sexual Journey

Both hosts emphasize the importance of proactiveness in relationships. By taking the initiative to plan romantic or sensual activities, individuals can break free from complacency and foster a more passionate connection.

Notable Quote:

• Devon (18:03): "Set the mood outside of the bedroom."

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8. Conclusion: Encouragement and Community Engagement

Mandii and Devon wrap up the episode by encouraging listeners to implement the discussed strategies and share their success stories. They also invite the audience to engage further through their Patreon, fostering a supportive community around shared experiences and solutions.

Final Thoughts:

• Mandii (21:27): "Happy hump day."
• Call to Action: Listeners are encouraged to submit their questions and join the Patreon for more in-depth discussions and video content.

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Key Takeaways

• Intentional Planning: Taking charge by scheduling personal intimacy can prevent routines from stifling passion.
• Creative Outings: Visiting sensual venues can naturally enhance the romantic atmosphere and lead to increased physical connection.
• Open Communication: Incorporating dirty talk and expressing desires openly can elevate the sexual experience.
• Use of Sex Toys: Introducing personalized sex toys can add novelty and excitement to the relationship.
• Proactive Engagement: Actively seeking ways to rekindle intimacy ensures a vibrant and fulfilling romantic relationship.

This episode of "Decisions, Decisions" offers a blend of humor, authenticity, and practical advice, making it a valuable resource for anyone looking to navigate and overcome dry spells in their relationships.

Transcript

[Mandy]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Weezy]

Ice Cube's big three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS. With playoff elimination on the line. The most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win to make the playoffs. And breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Six teams are allowed for four spots, and all must win. There's no crying in the big three. And the no holds barred action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific. Presented by iHeart.

[Mandy]

If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?

[Devon]

You've got decisions. You've got decisions, baby. And I do, too. I'm gonna try to come up with a jingle.

[Mandy]

Okay. All I know is.

[Devon]

Listen. All I know is I was listening to all of these interviews about clips, and apparently they bought themselves out of their deal. And I was like, wait, Pusha T got that much money? And, girl, apparently he made the jingle. I'm loving it. For McDonald's and cops.

[Mandy]

I saw that on. Was it Family Feud? There was an episode of something where it talks about Pusha T. No, it was an episode of Her Vaccine.

[Devon]

I'm like. I was like, family Feud was talking.

[Mandy]

About Pusha T. We did an episode of ways that people Got Rich that were like a surprise Dr. Dre we featured because it's just like, Beats. He got rich as fuck from Beats. But the nigga. Yes. And Pusha T was on there, and we were like, yes.

[Devon]

So when I saw, I was like, wait, Pusha T got coins like that? And bitch, when I went. When I heard what I heard, I was like, oh, bitch, I'm about to make some jingles. Like, I know we. We doing cute. We're New York Times bestsellers and all. We have this podcast. But I'm like, bitch, I'm Okay.

[Mandy]

Let's. Let's go. Let's, let's.

[Devon]

Let's get a. You got decisions, Django.

[Mandy]

Oh, no. I was going to give you a random company. Okay, ready?

[Devon]

Random company. Okay.

[Mandy]

1, 2, 3. Cvs.

[Devon]

The receipts are long.

[Mandy]

That's good.

[Devon]

That's okay. Random company. Planned Parenthood.

[Mandy]

Don't want to keep it.

[Devon]

No worries.

[Mandy]

Hey, ain't got no money. Oh, I lost it.

[Devon]

I think we need to get into some improv classes. Anyways, guys, we want to thank you all once again for helping us become New York Times. Bestsellers. However, if you have not yet, please go and get our book, no holds Barred. A dual manifesto of sexual exploration or power and power not or bitch. And by the way, always like to let y' all know that we see y'.

[Weezy]

All.

[Devon]

I just want to say, Devonnette Isaac, you are the only one star review on Amazon and it is only because you received the book damaged. And so if you can DM me, Weezy, this book came like it was stepped on by a dinosaur. And I feel so bad.

[Mandy]

Oh, no.

[Devon]

I uploaded a picture and I'm like, oh, my God, it looks you.

[Mandy]

Cut it out, Devin.

[Devon]

That's why I'm like, listen, Devon and Isaac, if you can literally reach out to my Instagram, Weezy's Instagram, or the decisions, Decisions Instagram. I want to make sure I get you a brand new book and I want to get it to you signed, honey. Because I am so sorry that Amazon did you dirty like that. But also, bitch, go back and give us five stars, ho. Because the words ain't messed up is just the book binding of it. God damn.

[Mandy]

By the way, speaking of signed books walked into random stores today. I want to give a shout out to PNT Knitwear on the Lower east side. I walked in there to buy a book that Tracy from the Stackspot recommended. I was like, by the way, can I sign some books? And they were like, hype.

[Devon]

She was like, hell yeah.

[Mandy]

Can I take some pictures of these out of books? I'm like, yeah. So I started signing. We're having fun, bitch. They all sold right there.

[Devon]

Oh, wow.

[Mandy]

I'll take it.

[Devon]

Personalize my shit. I was like, okay, that is dope. That is really, really dope.

[Mandy]

It feels special to, like, sign something and then someone's got to run and go get it. I was going to post it and be like, come grab this signed copy. I wrote secret messages on different pages.

[Devon]

It's so funny. Mero does something like that where he'll sign something or leave like a pair of Knicks tickets somewhere in the city. And literally you have to just go to the place and find it, but.

[Mandy]

They'Re yours and it kind of like real life.

[Devon]

I love stuff like that. It reminds me of J. Cole's Dollar in a Dream tour. They just always became scavenger hunts. And today we are going to help a Whorehive member and Patreon member. Y' all know that if you want to see the video of youf Got Decisions, just join us over on Patreon. It's patreon.com horrible decisions. But we are going to help our girl out because she is in a dry spell right now and she's looking for a cure. Oh. So let's get into it. Hey, Mandy and Weezy, I love you too. I was excited for the rebrand. However, I couldn't leave Horrible Decisions alone, so I've become a Patreon member. That's what the rest of y' all gotta do. Okay? Horrible Decisions isn't anywhere. It's just $5 a month. Now, I also had the pleasure of meeting y' all in 2020, right before the pandemic happened when you guys came to Houston. Anyway, let's get to it. I'll try to keep it short.

[Mandy]

Keep it short, bitch. Cause I'm gonna get lost. I got $80.

[Devon]

She kept it short. She kept it short, I promise you. So my boyfriend and I have been living together for a year and a half. However, we've been dating for three years. For context, I'm 32 and he's 40. I love him a lot and he is literally the sweetest ever. Unfortunately, we find ourselves in dry spells a lot. I work in the morning and he works at night. Like, literally. I get home when he is starting his shift and he gets home when I'm in deep sleep. When we have a few days off together, it seems like we are really just enjoying each other's company. And sex is not on the brain for me at least. Maybe I'm the problem being that quality time is one of my love languages. It seems like we just get lost in between us catching up on shows and and playing our favorite game, Sims in 2K. I suggested scheduling sex and he thought sex on the calendar was corny. His suggestion was trying mushrooms. However, I didn't want to be dependent on something like that to get the juices flowing. When we were long distance, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. But that's obvious why we would go weeks without seeing each other. My question is, what are some tips to try to get each other in the mood in a fun, playful way? Or try to stop the dry spells from happening so frequently? I'm not used to taking charge and I honestly think we both waiting for someone to pounce. I feel like we are getting too comfortable with each other and I want to bring the spark back. Love y'. All. You both make me laugh. Can't wait to hear what you have to say. By the way, she did take off all the easy things for us to say. No planning on the calendar. No additive of Drugs. So here we go.

[Mandy]

So I'mma be honest. I have sex every day, but I wouldn't say it's spicy. And is he still here?

[Devon]

Babe.

[Mandy]

I've been needing to do some shit. Bitch. Damn it. He's here. Never mind. Nothing. I'm podcasting. Okay, this is what I was going to say, y'.

[Devon]

All.

[Mandy]

I was going to say that I realized I'd be needing to do extra shit because I'd be giving pussy at night when I really feel like that kind of gets you in a little bit of a routine that's not necessarily great. I see there at night, right before bed. So I've been planning to wear lingerie and just come out in heels. And I keep forgetting to do it because we get caught up in a good fucking movie or we just get tired and then just end up being like, I don't. Like, I don't want to put this on. I will say this. I would make your own fucking calendar. Don't make a calendar where he's sharing it. I would make a calendar that literally tells yourself you need to be doing this shit. Because last night it hit me and I was like, damn, when is the last time I fucked this nigga without a T shirt that didn't have fucking stains on it? Like, I just be throwing a place. You know what I'm saying? And that's not necessarily what keeps a relationship healthy either. Like, having regular sex is cool, but sometimes it could turn into going through the motions. So I think it's almost akin to being in a rut. It's almost just like doing it. Because, like, all right, let's. Let's put ourselves to sleep. So I would recommend doing a calendar for yourself. Like, we talk about in no Holds Barge, setting boundaries, because nobody else is going to set them for you. Bitch. Set a fucking schedule. Because if he's thinking it's corny, you actually have to do this. You don't want to play Sims that bad, bitch. Get yourself some D. That's what I.

[Devon]

Was going to say. Like, in terms of even the fact that your days off together are spent playing video games, I think you should be kind of more. Clearly, you said neither of y' all like to take charge, but I think setting up a date night, like, if y' all have been together now for three years and now you feel like you're just getting bored. I think to bring back the excitement of going out, getting a date, and making it to however you used to fuck when y' all were long distance relationships in a long distance relationship and whatever used to turn y' all on. Maybe try to switch that back on. So set a date night with intent to suck his dick on the car ride home. Like have the intent to set, set up the play and then execute at the end. I think like a lot of times.

[Mandy]

You can't think that like a date night is a basic thing to do. No, because you actually have to get real hype for the date night. Find something that's sexy. Maybe it's a show where you live, maybe it's even a lounge that just feels sexy. Put on lingerie underneath the clothes for the intent to fuck. I've realized I don't know if you can agree the second I would even.

[Devon]

Say, even when you're not in a.

[Mandy]

Relationship, this ain't even boyfriend shit to me. It could even be niggas that I've been fucking for years. The second you got one really good round where it kind of like changed your normal shit, whether it be lingerie or a different position or in the car or a different room, then it spices up the next sex. Like, I just think you guys aren't probably having a spicy enough moment. That's really what it is. Because maybe you both are just good with f ing once a week.

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[Weezy]

The reviews and ratings are in and Ice Cube's big three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS. With playoff elimination on the line, the stars will be flocking to Los Angeles to witness the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson Must win over Houston to make the playoffs. Reeling from last week's savage beating at the hands of Chicago's possessed Montrez hero. Last time these teams met, Miami beat Houston, but they are a dangerous team having their manhood at stake. Then breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Will LA avenge their previous shocking loss to perennial basketball Boston rivals? To survive, six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. Don't miss the Big three, the three on three basketball league everyone is talking about. There's no crying in the big three. And the no hold spot action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific, followed by two games on Vice starting at 6:30 Eastern. Presented by iHeart.

[Devon]

My mind just went to something really spicy and I mean we like 12 minutes in, so I think we could start being like a little bit more graphic. I've been having a thing lately where even if they don't fuck me, or maybe they're tired or something like that, I really have been enjoying pulling out a dildo and telling my partner to fuck me with it. I did it with this guy in la. I used to do it with my ex, like in the morning if I still wanted to be fucked. And he just didn't have all that energy for me. Like, I'd be like, well, here you go. And I'd be like, fuck me with this. So to me, there you go, you can put it. Oh yeah. I'd be like, okay, well if you ain't got enough dick for me, I got a dick for me. Okay? And all you gotta do is operate it. But I think that again, I mean, this could seem very simple, but pulling out toys. Weezy said the possibility of you creating your own calendar and him not knowing. But maybe again, instead of sitting in front of the TV watching shows and playing video games, maybe you literally set up field trips. Take a goddamn trip to the goddamn sex tour. Take a and pick some things out for y' all to try or do. Like a night out at the strip club. Like I think always being in spaces that that just remind you that sex can be fun and sex can be on the table in more ways than just the traditional route. Then I think it brings the excitement and the spark back. And if you're looking for the spark, I think a field trip to the sex store is always like, you pick a toy and he gets a pick.

[Mandy]

I have a place that's like a low pressure strip club.

[Devon]

Low pressure strip club.

[Mandy]

Bro, if anyone lives in New York, you have to go to the strip club. It is called Pumps New York. It is in Williamsburg and it's kind of like death metal tattooed. It's weird, but it's like kind of grungy so it's cheap. If you sit at the bar, you have to tip each girl a dollar. It's just, and it's like a bikini titty bar type of vibe. But at the same time it's just like, whatever, we're in Williamsburg for the day, let's go to Pumps. And sometimes just being around the girls and being able to comment and, and obviously in good ways, you know, just being like, ooh, this one's sexy. I like this. I like that. That should be fun. You just gotta gotta remind yourself. And strip clubs to me are very non threatening for spicing up relationships. Because hey, you're going home together, you're, you're experiencing this together. And this is, this bitch's job is to turn y' all on. So it's like just literally go and be used.

[Devon]

Okay, you wait, you just gave a place suggestion. I have two. One for la, one for New York. So it's not a strip club. It's not a strip club. Neither of them are strip clubs. But in New York I would suggest bathtub.

[Mandy]

Bathtub gin.

[Devon]

I love bathtub gin. Especially like, it's just the ambiance. Make sure you get a table because otherwise you'll be standing at the bar and you're not going to get the full experience. But bathtub gin is really cute. And then in la, it's one of the places now I feel bad because I take any nigga that I meet in LA now.

[Mandy]

Oh God.

[Devon]

La Salta. Now Mr. Wanderlust, it's downtown inside of it, like the AC Hotel. It's like there's like eight floors of stuff. But Mr. Wanderlust, when you walk in, there's a woman on an aerial hoop that's like in a burlesque outfit. And if you go early enough, they actually have a burlesque performer that comes out from the center of the bar, behind the bar, literally unsuspecting. And it's just sexy. They do live music, but the ambiance is hot. And then if you even want to either dumb down the night, you can go to the Rooftop and chill and drink, or there's a club inside. And I'm not even going to tell you, the last time I went in there, I ended up making out with a bitch and almost had a threesome. So literally, it's just one of these. I haven't even told that story yet. I'm probably going to share that on the Patreon, but it was the last time I was in la. Almost.

[Mandy]

Boy, did that tell it.

[Devon]

It was crazy. But yeah. So Mr. Wanderlust in LA and then bathtub Gin in New York. I don't think it has to be a full blown strip club, but any setting that you have to kind of dress up feels sexy. There's sexy people, there's like titty tassels. You drink a cute cocktail, it just sets the. The vibe to, I want to suck your dick at the end of the night. And so anytime I'm on a date, if a nigga take me to a champagne piano bar, baby, I'm like, why are we still here? I want to put it in my mouth. And so I suggest going to those type of spaces too. And so I think that that's the great thing, Weezy. And I just let you know, like, a lot of people when they think about getting spicy and, you know, not having sex, so much of it starts outside of the bedroom, bro.

[Mandy]

Right?

[Devon]

It starts out of the bedroom, set the mood outside of the bedroom.

[Mandy]

And I think that also.

[Devon]

You think.

[Mandy]

Of getting spicy as the tools, the things to bring in. I really believe getting spicy is the energy. Like, for me, like. Like, even I'm making the comment, oh, we're just fucking before bed a lot. I need to just do xyz, actually, to be honest with you, I was spicing shit up. Cause I was talking crazy last night, bitch. And I'm telling you, sometimes we got to step our dirty talk up too, bitch. I started Googling shit. I was like, let me say something crazy.

[Devon]

You were googling dirty talk. I was like.

[Mandy]

Because I was, like, wanting to do an episode around dirty talk and where it comes from. And I was like, oh, this could be cool. But then I was like, what would I use for myself? And one of the things I saw was if someone's fucking you and you want to, like, start sucking dick, it was, let me taste how you make me feel. I want to taste what you're doing to me. I was like, ooh.

[Devon]

Okay, well, now I'm going to overshare something.

[Mandy]

I think he was looking at me. He was confused. He was, like, about to hand me.

[Devon]

My own coochie juice.

[Mandy]

He was really lost.

[Devon]

I'm going to overshare something. But this is also something if you want to get a little accessory. I recently went to the sex store because I was like, ooh, I'm going to show out with my little boo. So I was like, I'm going to show out. They had a butt plug that was, like, something that, you know, fit him. And so I don't know if, you know, if you go online, you can Google butt plugs. So if he's, like, a basketball fan, you can get a butt plug with a basketball. If you. If he's a football fan, you could have a football basketball. They also have butt plugs with sports teams, bro. Like, you could almost get anything at the end of a butt plug. And so if you want to, like, make it exciting. What? Why are you covering your face, bro? Hold on. Because you're laughing. Do not. Do not say what this is a picture of, but I'm going to show you the butt plug I just bought, and it was cute.

[Mandy]

Don't say what it's a picture of. They're going to see you, though.

[Devon]

No, no, no, no. I'm sending. I'm texting it to you. I'm not saying, but there's, like, mad different things that you can get in butt plug form that could be specific to the person.

[Mandy]

Oh, this is cute, right?

[Devon]

So I was like, I got something special for you, and I bent over, and it was a butt plug of something he liked.

[Mandy]

So the box of where Mandy got it from, it says booty Spa. That's all I see. Ah.

[Devon]

Well, they have a lot of options online. So if you could even customize some of your sex toys for your partner, I would absolutely recommend to do that as well, because that's a good way to spice it up and let him know that you're intentional and that you pay attention to detail. So, yeah, that would be my. That would be my last. My last bit of advice. We hope that this helps you. We hope that you get out of this dry spell, and we hope that, you know, you write us back and say you've been having the best sex of your life with your partner three years. Yay. If you want to send your questions into us, we will answer it here on you Got Decisions. Make sure you send it over to decisionspodmail.com we'll see you next week, everybody.

[Mandy]

Bye. Happy hump day.

[Devon]

Bye.

[Weezy]

Ice Cube's big three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS. With playoff elimination on the line, the most physical, fiercest, and competitive basketball in the world, Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win to make the playoffs. And breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a Duoda match for both teams. Six teams are alive for four spots and all must win. There's no crying in the big three and the no holds bar action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific. Presented by iHeart.

[Mandy]

This is an iHeart podcast.