You've Got Decisons: He's an Inmate..I'm a CO..HELP! (Ft. Deante)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Decisions, Decisions

Episode: "You've Got Decisions: He's an Inmate... I'm a CO... HELP! (Ft. Deante)"

Released: September 10, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF
Guest: Deante (from Grits and Eggs podcast)

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Overview:

This episode of Decisions, Decisions dives deep into messy, boundary-pushing relationship dilemmas, tackling a listener's letter about falling for an inmate while working as a corrections officer. Mandii, Weezy, and guest Deante bring their signature humor, irreverence, and realness to a thorny question about ethics, attraction, and whether love can—or should—overcome major red flags.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Exploring Sexual Boundaries & Kinks ([01:04–06:00])

• Hosts candidly discuss personal sexual boundaries and what kinks make a partner ineligible:
  • Mandii and Weezy share their “hard nos” in dating, such as cross-dressing and “diaper play.”
  • There’s frank talk about what sexual acts are turn-ons and turn-offs and how everyone’s lines are drawn differently.
  • Notable humor about the arbitrariness of what people will and “will never” tolerate.
  • Quote:

    “You’re like, he can shit on me, but he cannot wear a pair of stockings. Like, nigga, what?!” – Mandii B (03:37)

2. Generation Z and “Gray-Sexuality” ([07:00–11:00])

• The hosts address Gen Z’s embrace of sexual identity nuance, specifically the term “graysexual,” a gray area between asexual and allosexual.
  • Discussion includes skepticism about the constant labeling of sexual identity and whether “graysexual” is just naming normal sex-drive fluctuations.
  • The conversation turns playful (and a little exasperated) over sexuality labels.
  • Quote:

    “She’s my friend that hates all the terms of everything… she just wants to keep it like, bitch, you’re either gay or you’re straight.” – Mandii B (09:58)

• Double Standards Questioned:
  • Can a woman identify as straight but occasionally hook up with women, and would the same allowance be made if a man occasionally hooked up with men? (10:47)

3. Hoe Trip Tips & Storytelling ([11:10–12:10])

• “Ho trip” etiquette—how to stay safe, get your needs met, and clarify trip dynamics before arrival.
  • Main tip: Know the ratio of men to women, and ask about payment or expectations ahead of time.
  • Quote:

    “Now why I say you need to know the ratio is because unfortunately the men on the trip are going to expect to be with women on trip…. Not all the girls are going to get to go with him.” – Mandii B (11:35)

4. Main Dilemma Letter: Inmate/CO Relationship ([12:10–32:30])

Letter Recap: ([13:25–14:12])

• Listener (“29, Black female, CO”) started crushing on a “fine” inmate (“40, Black male, jailed for domestic violence”).
• Admits the relationship is illegal and unethical but took steps to pursue him after his release.
• She slips him her number before he leaves, then meets up immediately after he’s out.

Hosts’ Analysis & Commentary:

• Mandii & Weezy’s Shock & Skepticism:

  • Immediate disbelief over the choice, given his conviction and the professional risk as a CO.
  • Questioning the “mind-blowing sex” narrative, and the reliability of the domestic violence story.
  • Quote:

    “He out there fucking for freedom.” – Deante (12:36)

  • They process the letter in real time, calling out the red flags (“hobosexual,” i.e., man seeking shelter) and the dangers of romanticizing men with violent records.
  • Intense debate over whether the writer is making excuses for him, especially after reading his police reports (17:00).

• Notable Quotes:

  • “You already know the answer. You just want to be told about.” – Mandii B (12:50)
  • “He just beat her up.” (16:14)
    “No, she next.” – Deante & Mandii B
  • “That’s what women do… they know!” – Mandii B (16:23)
  • “You in? Oh, you already in it. Just go marry this nigga, bitch.” – Deante (24:42)

• Debunking the Letter’s Logic:

  • Questioning the writer’s assertion that the ex “set him up” and calling out the pattern of minimizing red flags.
  • Discussion about the letter-writer subsidizing the ex-inmate (paying for Uber, hotel rooms), and whether he’s just manipulating her for resources.
  • “He’s a hobosexual. He needs somewhere to live. That’s why he’s hitting her.” – Mandii B (19:36)
  • Deante doubts the man's story about the halfway house and “not being guilty,” pointing out how legal processes work and how people can rationalize bad decisions (25:42–26:36).

• Tough Love & Roasting:

  • The hosts speculate about the writer’s self-esteem, appearance, and reasoning (“I want to call her. When you provide that much context, that's how you know—bitch, you trying to talk yourself out of knowing you doing something dumb.” – Mandii B 32:23)
  • Playful but pointed jabs about COs, and broader social commentary on prison relationships.

5. Concluding Thoughts & Advice ([32:30–33:20])

• General consensus: The writer is already too deep; she's making rationalizations for a bad idea.
• It’s not worth risking job, safety, or self-esteem for this relationship.
  • Quotes:
    • “All you’re doing is giving all the reasons to justify it to yourself.” – Mandii B (32:23)
    • “She is love after lockup, this bitch is a dodo bird.” – Deante (26:18)

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Notable Memorable Moments & Quotes

• "For freedom is crazy. But also, here's the address." – Mandii B (12:40)
• “He fucked the dog shit out of her… That she would have took—” – Deante (19:33)
• Commentary on “halfway house” vs. “jail”: “You don’t get into a program unless you get convicted… He’s convicted. He in a halfway house.” – Deante (26:08)
• Mandii’s checklist for hotels and the level of a man: “If you go to a hotel and the door is on the outside, baby, you either dating a broke ass, bum ass…” (31:05)

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Important Timestamps

• Sex Kinks & Boundaries: 01:04–06:00
• Discussion of "Gray-Sexuality": 07:00–11:00
• Hoe Trip Story/Tip: 11:10–12:10
• Listener Letter Reading & Analysis: 13:25–32:30
  • Letter summary: 13:25–14:12
  • Domestic violence backstory: 16:14–17:41
  • Hotel/sex encounter: 18:00–18:48
  • Pay for Uber, boundaries: 18:48–19:08
  • Halfway house, status update: 20:04–20:46
  • Hosts’ commentary & skepticism: 21:09–26:36
  • Final advice & tough love: 32:23–33:20

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Tone & Style

• Candid, raw, and unfiltered: The hosts do not mince words and speak with humor and tough love.
• Playful roasting: They poke fun at the letter-writer for what they see as naïveté or willful ignorance but balance this with relatable real-life anecdotes.
• No-nonsense advice: No effort is made to sugarcoat the realities or the risks involved.

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Takeaway Guidance

• Listen to your gut, not your libido—especially when red flags and professional boundaries are at stake.
• Don’t romanticize someone with a “complicated” story when your instincts or official records tell a worrying story.
• Thoroughly investigate anyone’s background if their story doesn't add up.
• Pay attention to whether you’re giving reasons or excuses—and whether you’re seeking validation for a path you know is reckless.

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Final Thoughts

The episode is a wild, entertaining, and cautionary ride. The hosts remind listeners that, in matters of love and lust, some boundaries exist for good reason—and the truth may not be as sexy as the fantasy.

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For more messy advice and exclusive episodes, join their Patreon or send your dilemmas for “You've Got Decisions.”

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Before we get into today's episode, we've got to celebrate the Black Effect Podcast network. It's turning five. Five years of powerful voices, unforgettable moments, and a community that keeps growing. This is the power of the platform. Now let's get into it. That's a stretch. What if he was like, baby, I just want to bend over. Not a finger, not a tongue, not a dildo. He just want a little chili pepper in his ass. I mean, we got it, but it doesn't mean that I'm necessarily going to. You are definitely not someone that I'm going to be in a relationship with. Wait a second. You draw a line judging. Wait, can we talk about that? Can we talk about then Is there because people ask me that about pegging, like, wait, you would be with a guy that lets you do that? I'm like, yeah, that would be nice. There are certain kinks that if a man brings up, makes him ineligible to be a partner to be with me. Why? Like what, What. What are some. I'm not. I'm not being with someone that I'm an ass. I'm just not. Okay, same. I'm not. I think one king for me, which is probably really strange for others, but I wouldn't be with someone who, like, I don't know what the name of it is, but the ones that want to be in, like, diapers and be on the floor and eat, I'm not. I couldn't. No, it's hard. It's a hard no, it's a hard. No. I mean, okay, I'm not going to that. But I wouldn't be in a relationship with somebody like that. And this is going to be y'. All. Y' all listening on you. You know, I could probably do that. I could, like, depending on the drunk night, like, how many shrooms, how many. Whatever I could do, I could do. I could do, like. I could do, like, scat, play, pissing, pegging, all that. I think for me, you know, we're not gonna get her face. She goes, you know what? You know, my line with draws draw at cross dressing. I don't think I could be with a. Because I like masculinity so much with men. I don't think I could be with a man who wants to put on fishnets and thongs and dresses. I couldn't do that either. I couldn't do that. Like, I think that that would actually make me unattractive to him. It's just so funny how, like, people create, like, where everyone's boundary is. You're like, he can shit on me, but he cannot wear pair stockings. Like, nigga. What? It's just so weird. I'm like, how you say. No, I'm just saying us as humans, we rationalize what is okay to us and acceptable to us. And then the other things is hard style comfortable with. I was just saying it's the same thing, right? As, like, what we're into, even physically, you know, like, it's our. We're willing to do sexually. It's the same concept. But it's just so funny how everybody has these different boundaries. And it's like, oh, no, I wouldn't. Yeah, but I would be turned off. I think that's when you get into, like, what turns you on and what turns you off. Yeah. Like a man in the diaper on the floor, and you got a bull iron. Nice and dragged. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, straight racing. Straight racing Pussy. What are you doing? Pussy just not leaking. And I think that's what. How I would feel about a man wanting to dress up as a woman. Like, wearing a wig. None of that makes no. Which is crazy because I like very attractive men. Like, they be pretty. I like pretty niggas. Like, I said her. I thought she was scared to say that. I know. I like pretty girls. I call them pretty. I call them pretty. Cause it's funny. I sent her this nigga started liking my Instagram yesterday. I sent her her first thought. Yep, that's your type. Like, cuz, it's so different. But I like. I like a little pretty n. Oh, by the Way we're out the DMs. He didn't ask for my number. Moving fast here. Moving fast. I like moving fast. I like moving fast. If you know what you want, go for it. I like moving fast. All right, let's get into our vanilla shit. Vanilla shit. Y' all know, is our sex in the news and y' all the way. I might need an eye roll count from y'. All. I know this is gonna piss y' all off. So Gen Z's latest obsession, they are now coming out as gray sexual. What does it mean and how are they discovering they're gray? Let's get into it. They're not gay, they're gray. A surprising number of people are choosing to identify now as gray sexual, with many now sharing the moment they realized when they were gray. Gray sexuality exists in what many describe as a gray area between allosexual, which is experiencing regular sexual attraction, and asexual experiencing none. Those who identify as gray sexual may feel sexual attraction rarely, inconsistently, or only under specific circumstances. There's a growing community of over currently 8,300 members that are talking about them experiencing this. And I don't the size. They can hear y'. All. The mic one one user posted and explained that they had spent much of their life assuming they were just a late bloomer, saying that crushes came decades apart, rarely lasted long, and they often didn't feel sexual attraction even to their own boyfriend. Another person says, gray sexual is not. I just don't fancy it tonight. For me, it's being completely devoid of sexual desires in bouts which can last months. And then one day waking up and realizing they have the instinct that it returned that they want to fuck. And so it's like, I guess an up and down ebb and flow of having even the desire to have sex and not feeling the desire at all in any capacity. And see, now you may think you gray sexual. Oh, sometimes I want to all the time, sometimes I don't. Yeah, I think they just trying to throw names on it. They're just trying to classify everything. If you're not here, you gotta be here and here. Like it's just like, I think that's normal. I don't, I don't think every individual wants to. Every day, all day. I think, yeah, but I do masturbate. Everything with not having sex, that's how I go to sleep. Okay, we not the judgment, but to me that's some level of sex. Masturbation is still a sexual desire. Or for me to just come in that way or release in that way? Or do you think that maybe you just got accustomed to it for so long that this. It could just be a habit. It could just be a habit. It could just be a habit. Very much so. Um. It's funny because I brought this up knowing that you were gonna come on the mic. Cause you be. So I'm gonna call you out. It's okay. She's my friend that hates all. All the terms of everything. She just don't like language expounding sometimes. Cause she's from Florida too. So I think she just wanted to keep it like, bitch, you're either gay or you're straight. There's nothing. Shit. Oh, you too? Cause what are we doing? I can't keep up. I know. And I'm not. I can't keep. You said you're not, and I'm not. Okay. So how do y'. All. I can't even remember all this stuff. You just identify as straight. Yeah. How do you identify? But I'm not. I don't feel like I'm bisexual just because I will have sex with a woman every now. Oh my. You catch me on a good night. Maybe you might come home. But. Or not now. Would you be in a. Really. Okay. Absolutely not. Okay. Absolutely. So I'm not. Question. Let's flip the script. Because love that you identify as straight, but may eat some coochie. So do you. Would you allow a man to identify as straight, but sometimes he'll suck some dick? And would you be fine with that? No. No. Girl, we used to debate this artifact. I don't care. I do. She'll come in my room with a strap on on and be like. Be so excited. And I'd be like, you know he's gay, right? He is not. Just because he might like a little ass play does not mean he's gay. Well, what does it mean? It means he's. He could be bisexual. Some. No, it means he likes his asshole stimulated the same way y' all would put a pepper in an ass. Now you judging if I want to put a dildo. Pepper in the ass is a sensation. That's not sensation. They're getting milk. No, milking is a thing. They get their prostate milked. There's a sensation there when anything goes into a man's ass. But they're doing it for the burning. That's why it's peppermint. They're doing it for the milking of the prostate. And it has to be touched to be milked. Are they getting penetrated with the Ginger or do they just place the ginger in so it's not spicy? Yeah, now you're getting real. Two different things. Now we're playing semantic. Two different things. Something is going in the ass. But it's hot things, so it gives. It's like the mint peppermint shampoo. It makes your scalp tingle. I can make the dildo hot with the hot and cold lube. I'm just saying it could bring sensation. No penetration makes. That's a whole different. That's a whole different world. Fine. Okay. All right. Anyways, the hors d' oeuvre, I want to do differently because I want us to share stories and I let y' all know what stories y' all gotta bring to the pod. But with it our hor d', oeuvre, we give tips. So within the story time, I want you to give a tip to the audience. So, like, I'll start off first. So for me, and the tips are going to be around dating and hoe trips. That's the hoarder. So I'll start off with my story so y' all can see how it goes. I'll make it quick. My tip is if you are invited on a whole trip or if you are set to delegate a whole trip to draw everything out before you get there by that, are you getting paid? Ask what the money or the rate is out the gate. It's also important to ask how many men are going to be there and how many women are going to be there. Because if there's more women than men, you may get off skate free and not have to do anything on the trip. Now why I say you need to know the ratio is because unfortunately the men on the trip are going to expect to be with women on the trip. And so say you're on a trip with the main boss guy who's paying for everything. Not all the girls are going to get to go with him. However, unless you're in my situation where that did happen, surprisingly. So you just got a little taste of the horrible decisions Patreon. But why stop there? Tap in for the full, uncut and way nastier episodes over on patreon. Go to patreon.com horribledecisions and unlock all the messy tea, wild stories and bonus content you won't hear any where else. And now here's you've got decisions. If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what? You've got decisions. Hey guys. Welcome to you Got decisions, and you do puss. And so even though you might make the wrong one. Welcome back. It's another hump day, and we are joined by. By Deonce from the Grits and Eggs podcast. He here to also help us help y'. All. Cause y' all be having some motherfucking issues. We are very tired of you hoes asking us about. He got two baby mamas, and, yeah, he's married, but I just feel like we have a connection.

[D]

Bitch, we've been going through that. Shawna just hit us up and said he's a habitually incarcerated man. Like, girl, girl.

[A]

What?

[D]

Keep going to jail.

[A]

But I know they did good, bitch.

[D]

I was like, he out there fucking for freedom.

[A]

For freedom is crazy. But also, here's the address. Here's the thing. Whether it's your friends, whether it's your mama, whether it's your sister, whether it's your brother, at this point, when people send in questions asking for advice, you already know the answer. You just want to be told about. She told me one article. We got time. If you could pull up one of yours, that'd be funny. I want that inmate. Shit. I want the tea. Well, this one, this one. We're going to get right into it because it is a little long, but it's t. All right, so let's get into it. He's an inmate. I'm a co. Help. Hey, Mandy and Weezy. I love this show. It's literally changed my life. I've been a patron and faithful weekly listener for the past two years. This is a bit long, but please help. So stay with me here. I see both of y' all on your phones, but.

[D]

My bad, My bad.

[A]

Okay. It's okay. It's okay. Only because it is a little long, but I'm going to make sure I pick out the details here, okay? So I'm a CEO and I work in a jail. I met this inmate, and from the first time I saw him, I was like, damn, this nigga fine as fuck. Bitch is in jail. I'm already back.

[D]

Hold on.

[A]

If you weren't in jail, you'd be pointing out fine. I mean, okay, you can point out fine niggas, but you're not supposed to, like, feel anything. Just acknowledge. That's crazy.

[D]

Hold on.

[A]

She said jail. She didn't say prison. So it's giving Rikers. Okay. Who can you take out? Given local. It's given local. Okay. I'm going to wrap up my. Okay. I know that it is one, very illegal and two, very unethical. To ever even consider getting involved with an inmate.

[D]

And that's what make it hot.

[A]

A little context. I'm a 29, black female, single, and he just turned 40 while he was in jail. Black male. He was in jail for a couple months. And the whole time, I didn't break any laws or sneak in his room like I really wanted to, but we definitely would make eyes at each other. And I would go out of my way to go to the pod he was in, not the podcast. The whole time. The whole time he was telling me to give him my phone number and my first name, and I refused because, hell, I need my job. I got bills. Right before he went to court where he was pretty sure he was going to get out, I finally slipped my. I finally slipped in my name and phone number. And lo and behold, maybe an hour after he got released, he hit me on Facebook. That day, bitch, that day I got off work and called him and he told me to come see him. So I took off my uniform shirt and drove over to the address he sent me. Now, please remember when I said before you could keep reading this. Lol. This man is fine as fuck. He gets in my car with his backpack and says, where are we going? I told him I would come see him, but I never said anything about taking him anywhere with me while he was in jail. I would ask him what he was gonna do or where he was gonna go when he got out, and he said that he would be going to the largest city that's about an hour from us because that's where he lived. I know that he lost his apartment and his job because he was in jail, but I guess I was just slow and didn't realize that he probably wouldn't have a place to stay when he got out. I knew not to take him to my house because although he's fine, he also just got out of jail. And I really didn't know him like that. So I just got a room and I went there with him. Oh, did I mention that he was in jail for domestic violence? The size of the room. Bitch ain't in jail, bruh. That means it was bad. That means, like, charges was pressed, assault. He ain't doing a little grip. No, that was bad. But.

[D]

He just beat her up.

[A]

But he was only in there for four months. It just happened.

[D]

No, she next.

[A]

Okay, here we go. Here we go. And this is where your question came in. Was it jail or prison? But considering he didn't get any serious prison time, I hate to say this but it wasn't that bad. Quote, unquote. While he was in jail, I read over all his police reports and looked at the evidence. And I do have to say that it seems like. Hold on. No, this is the cr. But you know what's crazy? This is what women do when they're with. They know. Do I need to sit there? She ain't saying one. We need it. Okay, so here, let's go into the police reports because this is the good. I read over the police reports and looked at the evidence, and I do have to say that it seemed like his ex got mad because he said he didn't want to be with her anymore and she set him up. Oh, you sound like a stupid bitch. She stole a 29. Bitch. Hold on, hold on. She stole a few thousand dollars from him. And when he confronted her about it, she said she wasn't giving it back and started pushing past him. So he pushed her back. And when he did that, she ran to the car and called the cops.

[D]

I'm not giving you nothing. They could beat her up.

[A]

He went outside after her, telling her to give him his money back, and then she ran him over with her car. Weren't we just talking about bitches running over with cars?

[D]

How the he.

[A]

Cause she lying.

[D]

Hold on.

[A]

When he first got to jail, he was taken to the hospital because of his injuries. He was all banged up and scraped up all over the place. She didn't have any visible marks on her. But still, he got sent to jail, so the situation is a little questionable. I don't know if I believe this all the way. Me neither. Me neither. Okay, here we go with her asking the questions.

[D]

She telling us how she wanted to be. Yeah.

[A]

So back to it. We spent the night together. I was fresh off of a 12 hour shift. So sweaty and gross. But he didn't care. He pulled me close to him and then on top of him. And when I tell you he had the best sex and the best experience of my life, I still have flashbacks. Imagine, fresh out of jail, haven't had none in a couple months. Dick. Mind blowing.

[D]

Y' all both in there. Dirty fucking like all that dirty ass.

[A]

I mean, maybe. Maybe. They took a shower in the hotel. The next day, she said no. The next day I had to go to work at 5am So I left. He sent a message saying. Saying after I got off, he needed me to take him to another city. I was questioning myself a little bit like, what the hell did I get myself into? And I honestly didn't want to Be in a car with him for an hour to another city. I know nothing about this, man.

[D]

You just fuck, but you just.

[A]

No shit. This is how women think. Stop it. Don't not eat. You bet. She fucked Rob.

[D]

Yeah, bro.

[A]

Hold on, hold on. Even worse. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Even worse. She didn't want to drive an hour to another city with him. She says, but I sent him money to take an Uber. Here we go. I don't think this is real anymore.

[D]

Yeah, this can't be real.

[A]

No, not. This is how bitches be moving. Well, I don't want this type of people on our child. Even though the sex was mind blowing, I told myself, I'm tripping, I need to stop. So I didn't reach back out to him, but he didn't stop reaching out to me. Finally, I answered my phone after about three days. Bitch, you let it go three hours. Hold on. No, this is really evident. Hold on. And he said, I'm going to tell.

[D]

You how I know it's not.

[A]

Hold on, hold on.

[D]

He fucked the dog shit out of her. Like that she would have took.

[A]

No, he's a hobosexual. He needs somewhere to live. That's why he's hitting her. She, in her mind is like, I don't know this. I don't trust him. I'm not gonna be in a car with him for an hour. Bro, you could give a some that you don't know, but to be in a car with him for an hour is a little longer. Okay, hold on, let me finish.

[D]

Let the most dangerous. I mean, maybe if you driving, you can.

[A]

Finally, I answered my phone after about three days and he said that he made it to the other city and he got into a program that helps people that are transitioning out of jail. He said he had friends and family that were willing to help him, but he's a man and he needs to stand on his own feet. And didn't want to take anything from anybody, which is why he chose to go to the program instead of stay with someone. So he has a place to stay, he has a job that he would be starting that following Monday. He told me that he was really feeling me. He knew that he was in a fucked up position right then, but give him some time and he would shake back. He thanked me for getting in the room and getting the Uber and he said he would not ask me for anything else but time to get himself together. Fast forward about three weeks and we're still talking almost every day.

[D]

Shit sound like a Novel.

[A]

Oh, it is. It is. A thousand dollars. We only got two pairs. You also don't have anything when you get back.

[D]

Get what I'm saying?

[A]

Four months ain't that long, bitch.

[D]

My privacy won't be hard too. Your motion don't stop after no four months.

[A]

Four. A lot of money. Four months. But if someone could steal thousands. Four months for a lot of. For somebody who lost their apartment, who may not be able to now get a place cuz they ain't got no pay stuff.

[D]

Okay, but n. With Motion got connections.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think he's a nigga with that much motion. So why did he have that much money to steal? I mean, to have $2,000 to steal? Maybe he. Maybe it was income tax time, bitch. Maybe he has some kids to claim. Like there's ways niggas come up off of a couple thousand dollars. Like let's have no place to go. He's a terrible person. Four months. It's possible. Well, let's see, bro. Who ain't got nowhere to go after four months? Un. A lot of people don't. I mean, I mean, maybe, maybe.

[D]

But you also talking about like he fine he all this and that. He got great sex, he has some hoes now.

[A]

He got some opt. I agree with that.

[D]

He probably told them like, I got it figured out so he can go knock her off like, well, let's see.

[B]

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[C]

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[A]

He texts me as soon as he wakes up in the morning and then facetimes me every evening as soon as he gets off and we talk for hours. Not only is this man physically attractive, he Is also the more we talk about his life and what he had accomplished before the situation happened. I think I'm falling for him.

[D]

This whole line.

[A]

He is such a sweetheart. He talks to me so nice. He does never bring up anything solitary unless I do. And he keeps telling me that I don't have to put my life on hold, but I give him a chance, he would add so much happiness and joy to my life. He's still in the program working and has a solid bitch. He has a solid six month plan to save some money, buy a car and move out back into his own place. The program is very strict so they have specific visitation hours in a big visitation room. So sex is completely out of the question. But I still drove out last weekend to see him. As soon as I sat down, he put my feet in his lap and started rubbing them and. Thank you. I'm sorry, we're right at the end. We sat and talked and laughed like crazy for three hours. We talked about our lives, how we raised our. How we were raised, our past and where we want to go in the future. It's absolutely amazing. We still talks and text. We still talk and text every day. And he tells me that me being open to talk to him while he's down is what's making him, is what's going to make him give me the world once he gets back on his feet. He just needs time. Niggas do be lying. But he's also showing that he's striving to get better and on his feet and do better. Here we go. He's also very clear and direct about what he wants with me and with us. Once he gets quote unquote back up. Here's her question. My question is, do you, do you think it's worth pursuing something with him?

[D]

You in? Oh, you already in it. Just go marry this nigga, bitch. Go marry him.

[A]

Go marry him. It's crazy. Who you think is worth what, bro?

[D]

You already been through, dumbass.

[A]

It's only been a couple. That was the question. Do you think it's worth pursuing something with him or am I making a very dumb decision?

[D]

You're already pursuing it, so what are you talking about, worth?

[A]

Real quick, real quick.

[D]

You found your husband in a prison.

[A]

You know what's crazy? Now here's my thing. Real question. Let's take it off of this now. When he start beating your ass. Here's my thing, my thing.

[D]

Like how we getting over the domestic violence.

[A]

Domestic violence. But here's my thing.

[D]

It's some shit like you just can't overlook, you know, she really.

[A]

Okay, first off, she read the. The case. She thinks it's questionable. She think it's questionable without a reasonable doubt. She said there's a reasonable doubt. She said there is a reasonable doubt that he committed this domestic violence. She is reasonable doubt. You know, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[D]

Hold on, hold on. Hold. Hold the fuck on. You don't go to a program after you get out the county if you didn't get convicted. That's prison. He was in prison before. She lying.

[A]

She said jail.

[D]

Do you know how many times I've been to jail?

[A]

I don't know the. Let me look up her email.

[D]

I've been to jail, so I don't know the prison.

[A]

She must be ugly.

[D]

I'm not even trying to brag about that.

[A]

She ain't got to be ugly. Yeah, that's some ugly bitch. You don't.

[D]

You don't. You don't get into a program unless you get convicted. Yeah, that's convicted. He convicted, fella.

[A]

Oh, he's convicted.

[D]

He's convicted. He in a halfway house. In a halfway house.

[A]

That is a halfway house.

[D]

You don't get into a program unless you've been convicted. So this. This motherfucker is lying. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

She. She is love.

[A]

After lockup, this bitch is a dodo bird. Okay, so then let me ask you a random question.

[D]

I mean, only because.

[A]

Hold on.

[D]

That's too deep.

[A]

But based on what you said. Based on what you said. She said that because he's in this halfway house, we're programmed. They haven't been able to fuck. He's also clearly an hour away. All they do is text every day.

[D]

He need an address when he get.

[A]

Out of the house. Right, Right. But are you really that deep in. If you just texting a nigga every day, that don't mean y' all together or that he's the one for you or that you need to be married. I got a headache a little bit.

[D]

And I'm telling you, nothing but time. And he need that address for his parole officer, so he gonna bump right back to the city, and he gonna. And it's a good look. Like, yeah, my ex here. My. My partner is a correctional officer. You know what I'm saying? All that.

[A]

Are you allowed to. But that's. Are you allowed to date them when you get out? Isn't. Couldn't she lose her job? Do you think she give a shit?

[D]

She don't care nothing about. This is not A smart person.

[A]

I'll be honest with you. You don't do that. That's our little situation. Let me. Here's what. Here's what I'm gonna tell you. I think she's ugly. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm on the same face as you. Tell you something.

[D]

You can't get no dick on the street.

[A]

You can't get. I know bad bitches that have held down while in jail. So I'm not gonna say that.

[D]

She.

[A]

Made that in jail. Now she holding him down.

[D]

That you know that met the while he was locked up and she know him before that.

[A]

Oh, while he was locked up and she didn't l before. Okay, I would like to plead my ugly case. This is genuinely why I believe she's unattractive.

[D]

All the hoes ugly.

[A]

They are now number one. No, you can be a with confidence and get. Let me tell you something. When a could get you like this.

[D]

Cuz it's some fine when you sister.

[A]

Let me tell you something.

[D]

Some fine peach cobbler.

[A]

You know I love 90 Day Fiance and what happened? What do they get every time they in Nigeria ugly. That don't get nobody else. I don't believe there is a woman in the world that could be this duped if they were attractive. Not attractive. Confident, insecure, low self esteem. He got your ass. Cause you ain't about to tell me.

[D]

He that you finna be an address. I already know what she look like.

[A]

Not you already know what she look like. I think her hair is crunchy. That's what I see. What is wait, what is crunchy?

[D]

Hair dry. This one I'm seeing. What I'm seeing is you not on.

[A]

The mic, so you gotta shut the fuck up.

[D]

Slick back, ponytail, no edges. You did sleep. Back ponytail, no edges. Body just got gravity on it.

[A]

Why are we doing this?

[D]

Even if she could be big or small, but it's gravity on that body. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

First of all, I don't think she real.

[D]

The skin hitting all the wrong.

[A]

She's real. This is. This is a very real story. It's not with that email. I think first off the fact that maybe she just had more words than normal.

[D]

I'm gonna keep it real.

[A]

This sounds very real.

[D]

This the thing about it, it's too much explanation and it's. And it's too much lying because you telling me the nigga ain't. The nigga ain't guilty, but the court of law found him guilty.

[A]

No, no, no, and you said the court of law found him guilty. But let's be very clear in terms of how black people are tried in the court of law and what justice really looks like. She's saying she read the case. She doesn't feel like she's guilty.

[D]

But the court, she not a person.

[A]

Hold on.

[D]

Time out. CEOs is getting access to prisoner files and just reading.

[A]

I'm not gonna lie. That too. I mean, honestly though, it do be online.

[D]

No, but if he went to trial.

[A]

That all is online for you to read. It's public record.

[D]

You're doing too much.

[A]

It's public record when she started online. Read the public records. Ladies, if you are dating a who was locked up jail, prison, went to court, went to trial, Read the whole transcript.

[D]

She's exonerating that for her own purposes.

[A]

Stop using legal jargon when this is a field. And you know what I'm gonna say, Deonce. I wanted to know what kind of hotel it was too, because I could picture it.

[D]

I was thinking about that, you know.

[A]

When the AC be on the window. Yeah, that's what I heard. Y' all really think she was at the La Quinta shop? Yes, I do. Cos be making some money when I do overtime.

[D]

It was a whole.

[A]

Why are you looking at me? Cos make money.

[D]

Cause you're about to take care of two adults. And now she gotta take care of this nigga.

[A]

Cos make money. That bitch probably got a discount.

[D]

I'm talking red roof. Like, she really went red roof. Like what I was. Hotel was on the outside. It was the hallway. Yeah. It wasn't. No, no, no, no.

[A]

Oh, the door's on the hallway.

[D]

I'mma tell you that when you open up the door, you outside.

[A]

I ain't gonna lie. I ain't gon the exterior balcony, by the way. By the way, ladies, that's what I. If you want to know the level of what your is on or the type of you about to. If you go to a hotel and the door is on the outside, baby, you either dating a broke ass bum ass or your ain't up the party get you in ind.

[D]

L's motel. I mean the Lowe's Hotel.

[A]

I thought I. Yeah, you.

[D]

I thought I was at 9. I brought both the ass flowers.

[A]

Wait, you really cute. Okay. You bought them flowers after?

[D]

No, before.

[A]

Well, yes. You go and know you got. I'll be like, he love us. I'm not playing with you. All right?

[D]

The love was real. A lot of love in that room.

[A]

So you got Gang bang.

[D]

Yeah, judge me for it.

[A]

Y' all will have more context on that when Deontay's episode comes out. We gonna call it Grits and Legs.

[D]

No. It's our third down, third and final.

[A]

There we go. There we go. Well, yeah, if you want to say.

[D]

The Sicilian Stallion.

[A]

Oh, my God, that's not a bad name. I'm not doing that. All y' all can suck my dick from the back. I'm not Sicilian and I'm not a white woman. Anyhow, if y' all want to send your letters into us so that we could give you our unofficial, unsolicited, terrible advice, because what do we know? Please email us decisionspodmail.com next time. Don't send us a Reddit thread, please. No, this was her story. There's no way. You know what? I like that. Give a little backstory. She. Here's the thing. I want to call her. When you provide that much context, that's how you know. Bitch, you trying to talk yourself out of knowing you doing something dumb. That's all that is. She said, my question is, and then.

[D]

She'S CEO, so she ain't even good at typing.

[A]

She now she not good at typing. CEOs are smart. They gotta have degrees.

[D]

No, you don't. You ain't gotta degree to be no goddamn.

[A]

That's why the police in America are so. All right. Anyways, shout out to the CEOs listening.

[D]

An extra bag and a blade.

[A]

Curious. And make sure you go to our book, no Holes Bard, where if you get it, this is another episode. If you want to see the full video of this, because it's chaotic, you can watch these niggas dap in front of me. Go ahead and join our Patreon. Patreon.com backslash Horrible decisions. You can watch all of the. You got decisions in video over there. Thank you guys for tuning in. See y' all next week, pussy ass hoes. Bye. Thanks for listening and celebrating Five years of the Black Effect Podcast Network with us. Keep following, sharing, and streaming, because the next five years are about to be even bigger.

[B]

Want to win cash while watching sports? All it takes is three simple steps. Download the Better app, pick more or less on player stats, watch the games, and win some cash. It's that simple. Better Picks is available in 33 states, including Texas, California, and. And Georgia. Download the Better app today. That's better. B E T R and get a free $10. No deposit necessary. Must be 21 or older. In a jurisdiction where Better Picks operates, terms and conditions apply. Better picks. Sports just got better.

[C]

Stop settling for weak sound. It's time to level up your game and bring the boom. Hit the town with the ultra durable LG X Boom portable speaker and enjoy vibrant and sound wherever you go. Elevate your listening experience to new heights because let's be real, your music deserves it. The future of sound is now with LG XBoom and for a limited time save [e-mail] with code fall25. Bring the Boom XBoom this is an iHeart podcast.