Alexander Skarsgard — on imposter syndrome and channeling a kinky gay biker

Summary

Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson Episode: Alexander Skarsgård — on Imposter Syndrome and Channeling a Kinky Gay Biker Release Date: June 24, 2025

In this engaging episode of Dinner’s on Me, host Jesse Tyler Ferguson sits down with acclaimed actor Alexander Skarsgård for an intimate conversation over a delightful meal at Boca di Lupo in London’s vibrant Soho district. The discussion delves deep into Skarsgård’s diverse career, personal experiences, and the challenges of navigating fame and self-doubt in the entertainment industry.

1. Introduction and Background

Jesse begins by expressing his admiration for Skarsgård’s work, particularly highlighting his performances in Succession, Big Little Lies, and the new Apple series Murderbot. He shares his excitement about connecting with Skarsgård during his press tour in London.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson (02:47): "I loved him on Succession, on Big Little Lies, but I was really impressed by his new TV show, Murderbot..."

2. Relocating Back to Stockholm

The conversation shifts to Skarsgård’s recent move back to Stockholm after two decades in the United States. Skarsgård reflects on the emotional return to his roots and the comfort of being close to family.

Alexander Skarsgård (05:07): "It feels like coming home. My childhood friends still live in that neighborhood. That's incredible."

3. Early Acting Career and Military Experience

Skarsgård recounts his early foray into acting as a child in Sweden, which was more accidental than planned. He also discusses his time in the military, detailing how it shaped his discipline and teamwork skills.

Alexander Skarsgård (06:19): "I retired as a 13-year-old. I felt like I've done it all. I've proven myself."

4. Navigating Prestigious Projects

Discussing his role in HBO’s Generation Kill, Skarsgård shares the anxiety he felt during filming, doubting his place in such a high-caliber project. His honesty about facing self-doubt resonates with many aspiring actors.

Alexander Skarsgård (35:25): "I was like, surely, you know, they're gonna watch someone else for this... I kept waiting for them to reshoot."

5. Cultural Differences in Performances

A significant portion of the dialogue explores the contrast between American and British audiences, especially regarding standing ovations. Skarsgård critiques the often insincere nature of prolonged applause in the US compared to the more reserved British response.

Alexander Skarsgård (11:00): "It feels very, very off... It doesn't feel genuine."

6. The Making of Pillion and Embracing Unconventional Roles

Skarsgård discusses his role in the film Pillion, an unconventional love story involving BDSM and a gay biker gang. He highlights the importance of taking creative risks and supporting emerging filmmakers.

Alexander Skarsgård (20:52): "They had me at BDSM. It was such an unconventional love story... I believe in his vision."

7. Relating to Murderbot and Personal Traits

Delving into Murderbot, Skarsgård connects with his character's social awkwardness and desire for solitude, drawing parallels to his own experiences of needing personal space despite being in the spotlight.

Alexander Skarsgård (26:21): "I have been known, when we're throwing house parties, I will disappear to the bathroom and just sit for 15 minutes."

8. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

A candid discussion on imposter syndrome reveals Skarsgård’s ongoing battle with self-doubt, even after achieving significant success. He emphasizes the importance of perseverance and self-acceptance in overcoming these feelings.

Alexander Skarsgård (40:37): "I really do have moments that I'm like, I feel like a fraud, an imposter."

9. Memorable Moments and Career Highlights

The duo reminisces about memorable experiences, such as working on iconic music videos and enduring challenging roles. Skarsgård shares his fear during Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video shoot, showcasing his vulnerability.

Alexander Skarsgård (31:44): "I was like, keep watching, guys. I'm just gonna run to the bathroom."

10. Closing Reflections and Future Plans

As the meal concludes, Skarsgård reflects on his growth as an actor and looks forward to future projects. Jesse and Alexander express mutual admiration, ending the conversation on a heartfelt note.

Alexander Skarsgård (48:26): "This has been a great lunch. I really enjoyed."

Notable Quotes:

• Alexander Skarsgård on Military Experience:

  "I joined that unit and was there for a year and a half in the archipelago outside of Stockholm. I learned a lot about myself." [41:53]

• On Standing Ovations:

  "If someone was clapping for anything for 20 minutes, I'd be like, what's wrong with you?" [11:00]

• Regarding Pillion:

  "It was such a beautifully scripted relationship... I believe in his vision of that." [23:05]

Conclusion

This episode of Dinner’s on Me offers a profound look into Alexander Skarsgård’s journey through the entertainment industry, his personal struggles with imposter syndrome, and his commitment to diverse and meaningful roles. Jesse Tyler Ferguson masterfully navigates the conversation, allowing listeners to gain authentic insights into one of Hollywood’s most versatile actors.

Transcript

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Now you know I love a good brunch. Whether it's a laid back Sunday with my husband Justin and the kids or a full on feast with a bunch of my friends, I just love it. And when it comes to putting together the perfect spread, Whole Foods Market is my go to. They've got everything you need to make your brunch extra special. Smoked salmon?

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Check.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Buttery, flaky quiche? You bet. And don't even get me started on the fresh berries. I said don't. Seriously, don't get me started on them. Oh, you already did. Okay, now let's talk drinks. Whole Foods Market has the best cold pressed orange juice, bar none. It's perfect for mimosas or just sipping straight while you flip pancakes. And if you really want to impress, grab a berry chantilly cake or some warm hot cross buns to finish brunch on a sweet note and just tell people you baked it. Now, if you want to host, but you're also short on time like we all are, no worries. Just order Whole Foods Market catering. From bagel and lox platters to deli salads, they've got you covered. You just have to order 48 hours in advance, pick it up and voila, brunch is served. No one will know you got a little help from our friends over at Whole Foods. It's all about the hacks, people. It'll be our little secret. Make Whole Foods Market your destination for all spring gatherings. Hey, it's Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Being in London this season has been such an adventure. Not just for me, but for my whole family. Justin and I recently packed up the kids for a whirlwind trip to Disneyland Paris. And watching them experience it all for the first time was pure magic. Of course, we also got to see the Eiffel Tower, which was what Beckett said he wanted to see when he came to London. Got to work on that geography a little bit. These little getaways are what memories are made of. But as any parent knows, they take planning. And that's why I love Airbnb's co hosting feature. If you're traveling for a few days or a few weeks, listing your space on Airbnb is such a smart move. And with their co hosting feature, you don't even have to manage the details. A trusted local co host can handle guest communications, check ins and everything el so you could be present for moments that really matter. Let your home work for you while you're away making memories. Go to airbnb.com host to find out more. Hi It's Jesse today on the show. You know him from True Blood, Big Little Lies, Succession. And as the star of the new Apple show, Murderbot, it's Alexander Skarsgrd.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

They start this like BDSM sub dom relationship and it's like a love story, but it's also like kinky and weird and I don't know, they had me at bdsm.

Yeah, you had me at bdsm.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

This is Dinner's on Me and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. So I have never met Alexander Skarsgard, but I have been a big fan of his for quite some time. I loved him on Succession, on Bigelow Lies, but I was really impressed by his new TV show, Murderbot, which I just started watching. In Murderbot, Skarsgrd plays a self aware security Android who has hacked into his own programming to gain free will. It's so weird and strange and bizarre and funny and fresh and new. It blends sci fi action with workplace comedy somehow. I don't know how they do it. It's miraculous. It has a great cast. And of course, Skarsgrd, in the middle of all that. He's an Emmy and Golden Globe award winning actor for his role on Big Little Lies, which was also such a surprise performance for me. He was incredible in succession. I mean, one of the greatest TV shows of all time. He comes from this iconic filmmaking family, which I'm so excited to talk with him about. I'm so excited that he's in London while I'm here. He's passing through, he's doing press for Murderbot and I'm grabbing him, I believe, before he hops on an airplane to go off to someplace else. And so I suggested we go to this restaurant, Boca D. Lupo, which apparently he's also a really big fan of. Boca di Lupo is like a love letter to Italy. It's loud and it's joyful. It's carb loaded in the best ways. It's tucked away in Soho, which is the neighborhood that I usually would always stay in when I was traveling to London as a tourist. So I know this, this neighborhood pretty well. It has one of those perfect marble bar countertops for having, you know, dinner for one at or, you know, eavesdropping on conversations over espresso martinis. I love this place. Alexander's dad apparently also really loves this place and he's a regular here, so I think he's just on his way around the corner.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Hello.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Hi.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

I heard your voice before I saw you that Is a very regular, recognizable. Do you live here?

No, I live in Stockholm.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Moved from New York to Stockholm two years ago. You did.

I assume you love that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Stockholm.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Yeah, I was born there. In my entire fam. I was the. So I left for the states about 20 years ago.

Yeah.

And then I've been obviously like popping home to see friends and family as often as I can, but I haven't had a. A base there since the early 2000s and it was just, it was time I was ready to kind of relocate and have my base back home.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Like, what's it like going back to.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Stockholm like, you know, with, you know, a career under your belt now and like, it must be different 20 years later.

Yeah. But also not really. Like my. We still kind of. My two brothers live in the apartment we grew up in. They split that into two apartments. So like they live there with their families. And my dad is a block away, my other brother's a block away. So everyone lives in like in Sotomalam in South Stockholm? Pretty much. Yeah. Where I grew up. So I love it because it feels like coming. I mean, it is coming home, but in my heart it feels like coming home. I'm landing there and I'm just like walking around the streets. I grew up and like my childhood friends still live in that neighborhood. So it's like. That's incredible. It really is. Yeah.

And you went to military school, right?

And not a school, but I was in the military.

Okay.

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And this was after you.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

You had act. You've been acting for a while in, In Sweden, right?

Well, not really. I. I did a couple of things when I was a kid, but with no intention of ever becoming an actor. It was, it wasn't like I was a child actor in the kind of the Hollywood sense of like, oh, here's my agent and here's my headshot and I can tap dance. It was like my dad's friend was a Director, needed a 7 year old kid for his movie, and I happened to be around and he's like, hey, do you want to. Do you want to do this? And I had no idea what I was talking about. Sure. And then I did that and then that led to something. So I did the occasional film or television job between like 7 and 13. And then I quit when I was 13 and was just. I wanted to be like, focused on.

Retired.

I retired as a 13 year old. I felt like I've done it all. I've proven myself.

Yeah.

Yeah. Hello.

How are you?

[Waitstaff]

Good to see you. I'M good. How about you?

[Alexander Skarsgård]

I'm very good, thank you.

[Waitstaff]

We've got some bread and focaccia.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Thank you.

Thank you.

[Waitstaff]

Are we going to have some water to begin your meal with?

[Alexander Skarsgård]

I would love some sparkling water.

Yeah, I do. Sparkling too. Thank you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Are you hungry?

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Yeah, I'm hungry. I'll eat.

Are you on a diet?

No, definitely. Absolutely not. No, no.

Are you in the middle of a. Are you in a middle of a press day today?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've done. Yeah. It's been kind of a whirlwind of. I was in New York last week for Murderbot Press and then went to Cannes for three days for.

Oh, I know. I saw the boots. High thigh boots. These thigh high boots that you were wearing. Yeah, they were fantastic. You made quite a splash. I mean, my husband sent me the Instagram post. He's like, will you please talk to him about these?

Yeah. Kinky fisherman.

Yeah, yeah. Is that what you called it?

Yeah, Yeah.

I loved it. I've never seen anyone really pull that off. Yeah, I think we're ready. You came at a great time because. Cause he was just having to talk about thigh high boots. I'm going to have. You go first.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You go first.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

I'll do the sea bream carpaccio and then the entree size, the big spaghetti with spider crab and a large spaghetti with a crumb. Yeah.

[Waitstaff]

Beautiful.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Yeah.

[Waitstaff]

Sounds like a good pan.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Thank you very much.

[Waitstaff]

You're welcome.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

I'm gonna do the octopus, tomato, celery, basil salad and the ravioli with butter and sage.

Beautiful.

[Waitstaff]

Would you like any side dish or a salad on the side, maybe with your pastas? We got the salads on the bottom here.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

We got the lettuce or maybe some of the asparagus. The grilled asparagus. Quite nice.

[Waitstaff]

Lovely.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Your pee is going to smell so bad.

I know on the airplane. People are going to love that.

I think asparagus is good for me.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I don't need salad. Salad.

[Waitstaff]

And in case you like any wine pairing on something, I'll send the Somalia.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Thank you very much.

[Waitstaff]

Enjoy your meal.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Thank you so much.

Is it fun? I've been to other film festivals, but what's different? Like, I feel like Cannes. Like, I mean, it's a whole other thing. I mean, it's like a really fancy.

It was the first time I had a movie there.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Really?

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I've been in a movie that premiered at Cannes, Larson Trier's Melancholia. But I was shooting True Blood in LA at the time and they couldn't get me out so I missed it. So this was the first time I was there with a movie. I was there like years ago with some friends during the festival, but had no business being there really.

You were festival crashers?

We were festival crashers, yeah. We were able to kind of, through a friend of a friend of a friend, get into like a big Lord of the Rings party. And this was like back in the day when they would spend like, you know, $3 million on a party. So. So they can. They turned like an old castle up in the hills into Middle Earth. So it's like, it was incredible. Incredible. But yeah, but I again, I had no business being there at all really. So this was my first experience to be there with a film. And yeah, it was extraordinary. It was.

I feel like when anytime something premieres there we go, that we get a timed standing ovation like this. This movie received a 18 minute standing ovation.

I find that so ridiculous.

So weird.

Cuz it's also like most of the people in the room, it's a combination obviously of people that aren't associated with the film, but a lot of people in the room, you know, worked on the film. They know someone who worked on the film. So. So like a quite mediocre film can get a really.

Yeah.

So like. And if, if I ran a studio, I would be like, I'd pay 20 people to be like, you know what? Go to this and then just stand and keep going for 25 minutes. Just keep up. Can you imagine? I mean, people will be. Feel awkward and they can be like, I can't stop whenever, like these 20 people are screaming and clapping. So all right, great.

I mean if someone was clapping for anything for 20 minutes, I'd be like, what's wrong with you? Yeah, we have to stop.

No, I mean there's a life to live. But that to kind of gauge how good a movie is by that is that it feels very, very off.

Because, well, it's, you know, I just a little sidebar about just that type of behavior. You know, I'm on stage now here in London and like I've. I've done theater a lot in New York and I feel like in America people stand for everything. They, they love to applaud every. Like they feel like if they've gone and they need to show that they've spent their money well and they need to applaud and they need to stand up and standing ovations sort of, I guess even though like you're upset when you don't get one, it's. They kind of stop meaning something, you know, it doesn't feel genuine. And here I feel like the Brits really. It's not that they refuse to stand, but, like, they're not gonna. They really won't do it unless they want to. And our show, the show that I'm doing right now is very polarizing. It's surrealist. It's abstract, it's strange. Some people really love it, some people really hate it. And I have seen people in, like, you know, the front row stay in their seats while everyone stands around them, or, like, pockets of people standing around them, and they're like, nope, I'm staying. I'll clap. Like, I know you worked really hard, but I am not standing up. And I kind of love that.

Have you seen people leave?

Some people have left at intermission. I don't think anyone's left during the show, but I think I've seen. I've come back and seen some seats empty, but most people stay.

Why?

I mean, I kind of love that. It's, like, polarizing and it's pushing the boundary and, like, you know, I don't know. I like that it's. It's causing people feel uncomfortable.

Yeah. So I remember I did. I think it was who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf in Stockholm, like, 20 years ago. One of my first jobs, and definitely one of my first theater jobs.

And did you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You did that play?

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Yeah.

Okay, so you play Nick the kid. What's the guy's name?

Nick and honey. Yeah. Yeah. I think it was a pretty decent production. I think so. I mean, this was a long time ago, but I remember, like, being a young, very insecure actor, and one night, like, someone saw two, like, a couple whisper to each other, and you could tell, like, they were just like, should we. Should we not.

Should we?

Should. And then they, like, started getting up. And the most enduring intermission was, like, as we were trying to, like, I had, like, had this moment and they snuck out. And that kind of just kind of crushed me, like, my self confidence. I was like, oh, yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it's hard.

Yeah. If someone's, like, in the front row, you know, with their arms crossed and not feeling it, like, all my energy goes, like, my focus goes to that person. Everyone else could be having a great time, but for some reason, like, how do I win over that guy? I'm a people pleaser, but does that give you.

Does that crush you? Or do you go the other way? Because that person is still in the room, so you can still win him or her over. So that could also go in a different direction where it gives you more energy to be like, you know what? You're bored. But I'm gonna.

I'm gonna try harder.

I'm gonna entertain you, my friend. You're gonna. By the end of the night, you're gonna be standing, screaming.

Nothing's better than an actor pushing for someone's approval.

The desperation.

Yeah. No, I mean, it's just I'm. I have a pretty thick skin with that stuff. Just because you have to be if you're gonna be on stage. But.

But did you always. Even when you started out, when you first started out?

I've gotten better at. I think I used to let it, like, really upset me. I remember I was doing this show about a spelling bee on Broadway. It's called the 25th annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. And Jason Schwartzman came to see the show, and he's just, like, I think, programmed to, like, be, like, very stoic and, like, almost like a garden gnome. Like, just, like, no expression at all.

Yeah.

And he sat in the front row, and he was. I mean, he's also famous, and, like, I knew who he was, so we all were, like, kind of looking, checking in on him, and he was just, like, not giving us anything. And we started to get the giggles about it because it was like, how do we. How do we make Jason Schwartzman smile? And so we were all trying really hard, and, you know, he ended up loving the show and, like, actually giving us a standing ovation. Oh, really? I think he sent a note back afterwards and saying how much he loved it. But it just, like, goes to show, like, you know, we can't judge people on how they're enjoying something. Like, maybe that's just was him. Like, he was internally laughing hysterically.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You know, you can't hear smiles Alexander. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Alexander tells me about befriending a BDSM biker gang and how he relates to his robot character on his new Apple TV series, Murderbot. Okay, be right back. You know, dinners on me is all about gathering around a table, good food, great company, and, you know, feeling at home. But let's be honest, it's hard to really relax when you don't feel safe in your own space. And that's why I love Simplisafe. It's the kind of peace of mind that lets you focus on what matters, whether it's catching up over pasta with a friend or just enjoying a quiet night in I've been using SimpliSafe for a while now, and it really has changed the way I think about home security. Here's the thing, most systems kick in after a break in, but SimpliSafe's new Active Guard Outdoor Protection actually helps stop crime before it happens. Their AI powered cameras and live monitoring agents detect suspicious activity and if someone is lurking around, they'll speak to them in real time, shine spotlights, and they can even call the police. I mean, how proactive is that? No contracts, no hidden fees, just real protection. It's no Wonder CNET named SimpliSafe the best home security system of 2025. So if you want to protect your home while you focus on what makes it feel like a home, family, friends, or the perfect roast chicken, SimpliSafe has you covered. Visit simplisafe.com Jesse to claim 50% off a new system with professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. That's SimpliSafe safe.com Jesse S I M P L-I S A F E.com Jesse there's no safe like simply Safe. You know, back when Modern Family ended, I was suddenly managing my own projects. One of those things I was also trying to manage was my calendar. So I will double book something so fast. Don't even test me. There are times when I actually literally had recordings for this podcast and then.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

I would like double book a lunch.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

With someone on the other side of town or like forget to pick up my kids. I didn't forget. I just, you know, put it in my calendar that I was supposed to pick up the kids. They got picked up.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Don't worry.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

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[Alexander Skarsgård]

So anyway, how is it being at cam with the film first?

Now, let me tell you about the standing ovation we got and how sincere it was. How many minutes we got?

Yeah, yeah.

Because that. No, it was incredibly special and it was definitely very memorable and an experience I'll never forget. The film I was there with is called Pillion and it's one of those low budget film by a first time filmmaker that I was just lucky to find. Sometimes when you have incoming offers, they're projects that your agents aren't really haven't read or are that familiar with. And this was one of them that came was like, hey, here's a bunch of things. And so it was like five scripts attached to one email. And I remember, like just glancing over the others, and it was just nothing that piqued my interest. And then at the end of it was Pillion by this like, Harry Lytton. I'd never heard of him, but it was something about the logline. It sounded so. Because it was like, oh, this like, wallflower named Colin goes to the local pub and meets Ray and who's there with this like, motorcycle gang and they start this like BDSM sub dom relationship. And it's like a love story, but it's also like kinky and weird and I don't know it. They had me at bdsm.

Yeah, you had me at bdsm.

I was just like, I was hooked. It was just such a. Such an unconventional love story. It was funny and, but also like genuine and heartfelt and sweet. And then let's begin here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

[Waitstaff]

You're welcome.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Here you go.

[Waitstaff]

The sea, bream, carpaccio, rosemary oil and orange.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Beautiful salad.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Thank you.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Thank you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Thank you.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Very nice.

Okay. Pretty.

Yeah, that's how I got involved. I. I was like, I want to talk to this guy Harry. And he was at the time like 30 years old and had done a short film called Ren Boys that I then watched and was really impressed by. And I was really impressed by him and his approach, his vision for the movie. And so that's how I got involved. And we shot it here in London last year. And it was just the most fun, incredible experience we had. So the rest of the bikers were from GB mcc Gay Biker motorcycle club. So they. They were real gay bikers. And. And they also. Speaking of the experience at Cannes, like, they drove down and came down to Cannes. So they were there at the premiere on their bikes. Yeah, a bunch of them. A bunch of them flew down. And I love those guys. And I'm also so grateful for how they kind of invited us in and. And kind of showed us their world. So to share that moment at Cannes with them and at a big party the night after the screening was. It felt really special because it was. Again, it's like a movie that when I signed on and even when I shot it, I was like, I believe in this guy. But I can't say that I was cocky enough to be like, I think we're going to go to Cannes with this. You don't really expect that.

Well, talk about that, like, leap of faith, because I think that's really, you know, it says a lot about you as an. As an artist. I hate the. I hate calling people artists, but it does say a lot about you as an artist. Like, that you are willing to take a chance on someone who hasn't necessarily proven themselves. But, like, we all have been in that place where, you know, we want someone to take a chance on us.

Well, I'd be more insecure and scared if it was a project by a very established director that I didn't emotionally connect to. That, to me, would be scarier. I'd be like, I don't feel this. I don't feel like I don't jump out of bed. Super excited in the morning to be like, oh, you know what? I'm gonna go work on this one. I just, again, fell in love with the script and the character of Rey. So I was just so excited to take that on. And obviously you have to have trust and feel confidence in the person at the helm, the director. But I just really felt that with Harry, in our conversation, I was like, yes, it's his first film, but clearly know how he wants to tell this story, and I believe in his vision of that. So to me, it didn't feel brave or I was just like, you know what? This. I'm gonna have a blast on this. And I really think that it'll be an incredible experience to. To collaborate with this guy. And it really was, you know, I.

Know you're on a press tour for Murderbot as well and have people, because I'm so aware of this when I have to do, you know, a junket, a million people asking about the thigh high boots.

Well, it's a kinky gay biker movie.

Yeah.

BDSM Sub Dom. You know, my character wears a lot of black leather, white leather, and cream leather in the film, so it just felt appropriate to kind of have a little bit of leather.

Yeah.

Or a lot on the carpet as well.

I love it.

Yeah.

It's so great. I was able to watch a few episodes of Murderbot, and I really, really love it. It's so. I've never seen something in that genre with that tone. It's. I mean, I want you to sort of describe it, but it's almost like a workplace comedy, but it's also about. It's, like, futuristic and it's sci fi. It's very unique.

Yeah. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was. It's based on a book series called the Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells that I wasn't familiar with when I was sent the script. Just prior to that, I'd done the Northman and infinity pool 2. Quite intense, tonally quite dark, dark project. So I think I was. I was ready to do something a bit more. Not lighter, necessarily, but slightly more comedic in tone, I think. So I was like, this might not be for me right now. Like, this feels, like, really intense. And maybe it's also like, just the name Murderbot. I was like, is this gonna be like Terminator or Robocop? Like, is it that type of, like, you know, great characters, but definitely, like, more testosterone filled, you know? And I was like, I, again, having just done the Northman, which is, like, pure testosterone, I was like, I need a break from that.

Yeah.

So I was just so pleasantly surprised when I started reading it. And, you know, you meet this character who's, like, socially awkward and zero amount of adrenaline or testosterone and just, like, wants to be left alone to watch soap operas.

Yeah.

And there was just something really sweet about that awkwardness and the interaction with the space hippies that it's been assigned to protect. It felt like you said a little bit of workplace comedy set in space, and there was something really different about that. So that got me quite excited.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I really related to just, like, the social awkwardness and, like, wanting to be left alone. I have been known, when we're throwing house parties, I will disappear to the bathroom in my bedroom and just sit for 15 minutes and hide.

She didn't breathe.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Just breathe.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

And then I'll come out refreshed, having meditated a moment. I kind of just need to unplug for a minute to make my way through the night. Like, I I just, I, I can't be on all the time, right?

Well, Murabot never wants to be on.

No, I know.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's like.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Coming from a huge family, we didn't really have that luxury. It was like non stop, like constant noise and people and chaos. So.

Yeah, yeah.

To me that's kind of. You kind of have to find somehow peace within that chaos in a way, like, you know.

Yeah. I don't know. Some people find a lot of comfort around having tons of people around. And I do like, like, I remember when I was a kid, I loved like going to bed and hearing like a party in the other room. You know what I mean?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Like, I love knowing that there are.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

People around that sound still to this day, like, like that makes me like so happy and comfortable.

My favorite was always I wanted the door to be open and my parents and grandparents would often play cards and that was my favorite sound of them, like talking, having a good time, playing cards out there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Alexander tells me about the hit music video that haunted his childhood. And he unpacks the dark, complicated dynamic he built with co star Nicole Kidman on Big Little Lies. Okay, be right back. Vacation season is nearly upon us and this year, you know, I'm treating myself to luxe upgrades that I deserve with Quince's high quality travel essentials at fair prices. Think lightweight loungewear that's perfect for those long haul flights or premium luggage options. The best part, all Quint's Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quints cuts out the costs of the middleman and passes the savings on to us. And Quints only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I just love that. I've been eyeing their expandable carry on hard shell suitcase which comes in four sizes and a bunch of colors. It's just so nice to be able to get an extra inch of packing space in if I need it. I love options. I also just had a tab open for the Nappa leather duffel bag which for under $200 feels like a steal. For your next trip, treat yourself to luxe upgrades you deserve from quints. Go to quints.com JTF for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com JTF to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com JTF hello, everyone. We're Jamie and Sophie. You may remember us from Newlyweds and then Newlyweds.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

But now, guys, things are about to get even wilder as we take on our biggest adventure yet.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Becoming parents.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Newlyweds is now Nearly Parents. And we're bringing you the same honest, heartwarming takes on our journey to parenthood. I guess.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Join us as we find out what it really means to recover a family.

While trying not to kill each other.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Get ready for Nearly Parents, your favorite new podcast. And we're back with more dinners on me.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

We have something in common in that we both have been in music videos by very popular artists. All right, I did Taylor Swift's you need to calm down video with a lot of people. I mean, it wasn't just me. It was like, you have a very featured role in Lady Gaga's paparazzi video. Like, and so much so that your names in the, like, the opening credits of the. I'm not. I was like, in this. You need to come down video with, like, every other, like, the Queer Eye.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Guys were in it.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Ellen DeGeneres was in it. It was like, what's.

I haven't. What's the storyline? What'd you guys do with.

It's basically. Basically like a gay anthem for her. Okay, you know the song. You need to calm down. You're being too loud.

I've heard the song, but I haven't seen the video.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I know. I never. I used to watch music videos, like.

MTV back in the day.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, exactly.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

And that just doesn't really exist anymore.

I had a VHS of, like, mtv. I didn't have MTV growing up. We had a VHS of music videos. So we would sit and watch and I loved it, but. And then there was Thriller. Michael Jackson's Thriller was on it. And it scared me so much.

Terrifying.

But I was. I remember watching the four hour VHS music video with my uncle, who was like, at the time maybe like in his early twenties and his then girlfriend, and I loved it. But then when the Thriller video came on, I could not stay in the room. But I also didn't want to be like a little kid who's like, this is scary. So I was like, keep watching, guys. I'm just gonna run to the bathroom. And then I went out and it's a really long video.

It is. It's like 12 minutes long.

And I was like standing outside the living room going like, damn, this goes on forever. Like, I told him, and you gotta run, P. I'll be right back. I was like, I can't come back.

It turned into a poop.

Yeah. I was like. I remember, like, hovering. Hovering outside, waiting for the video to end, and it never did.

That's so funny. But I do love the paparazzi video. I think it's. I mean, that was like, Lady Gaga. I mean, obviously, she's incredible, and she has such an astonishing career already, but that was off of her first album when she was.

You know, I didn't know who she was. Really?

Really?

No. I just remember that when. So Jonah Zacher Lund, the director of the music video, is a fellow Swede and an old friend, had just started shooting True Blood. I think we, like, had just started the second season of the show. Oh, that was delicious. Thank you.

Do you want to try some of this?

I'm good. Thank you. Thank you so much. So, yeah, he. He called me. We both lived in LA at the time, and he was like, hey, I'm doing this music video for this, for Lady Gaga. And I was like, who? But I love Jonas. He's a dear friend. And it was like, you know, he's like, it'll be one day. It's. It's a weekend. We're shooting it in Malibu. Do you want to come have fun? I was like. And he told me the premise of the story is that, you know, I try to kill her and then she kills me, and, you know, it's like a really weird, twisted love story.

Yeah.

And she thought it was super fun, so, of course I said yes.

Yeah, it's fun to think about because she was so new at that time, and, like, I don't think anyone imagined, you know, that she'd be, like, an Oscar nominee a few times over. Like, it's. You know, she's very talented, incredible. I also had so many friends in True Blood on. Everyone that I know who did that show with you speaks so highly of you and says how incredibly sweet you are? Dennis o' Hara was just telling me stories the other day about how every time you finish a take, you'd be like, fuck, yeah.

Sounds very humble.

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, would you consider that sort.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Of like, the thing that. That's. That's when I first, like, I. I knew who you were, but, like, that was the first time I sort of saw you in something mainstream.

Oh, yeah. No, I. For sure. That was the. The first thing that I did that kind of hit the zeitgeist in a way that. And I don't want my credits prior to that were. It was basically two scenes in Zoolander.

That's what I mean. That's. That's how I.

My very first job, which is a.

Great movie, great two.

Two great scenes and a great film. So that was a great start. But then after that, I auditioned for everything, but I couldn't get a job. I couldn't book anything till 2007 when I got Generation Kill, which was a limited series for HBO by the guys who did the Wire.

Yeah.

On David Simon and Ed Burns. And so that was an incredible experience and incredibly scary because I threw out that I thought they were. Because it was such a prestigious project, you know, with those guys, hbo. And it was one of the lead roles. It's about the war in Iraq. And I was so convinced that they were going to fire me that I was like. It wasn't like, I was slightly worried. I was like, they are gonna.

Why did you think?

Because I was like, I think like, after, between Zoolander and in. In Generation Kill, I auditioned for a lot and not booked anything. And then the one project I booked, Generation Kill, it's like such a prestigious show. And I was like, surely, you know, they're gonna watch someone else for this, you know, So I remember like the first month, every day of the shoot, I was like, waiting for them to come knocking and be like, yep, you can go home now. And I remember starting to calculate how much money HBO would have spent, like, how much would it cost to replace me? Because I was like, oh, no, they're gonna reshoot. And then we did. We had a couple of big battle scenes. And I was like. My thought coming out of those wasn't. Wasn't like, oh, wow, that went well. That was great. I was like, okay, that's a lot of money spent. So maybe they're. They can't afford to replace me now.

Walking on eggshells for like.

I think we were deep into the show, maybe like three months into the show before I started kind of finding my stride and settling in and be like, you know what? I think it's like. I think.

Thank you.

They're probably not gonna reshoot. Oh, beautiful. Thank you very much. Thank you. They're probably not gonna reshoot four full episodes.

It's interesting that you had that moment of like, self doubt while you're working. I mean, did you ever go back and watch Generation Kill? Do you watch your work ever if you don't have to? I mean, obviously, if you're at a screening at Cannes and you want to Count how many minutes you're watching.

I'm not like Jesse Eisenberg, who's like, he doesn't want to watch his work.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I know that he did an episode of Modern Family because he was a.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Fan of the show.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

He's like, I really want to watch.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

This episode, but will you cut out my scenes?

Yeah.

So we sent him that, the episode he was in with his scenes cut out so we could watch it.

So I don't know what. Because I did a movie with Jesse and I adore him and it was an incredible experience. But at the premiere, he would be like, you know, we do the red carpet, walk in, introduce the movie, get the hell out of there, and then come back two hours later, you know? Yeah, he's like, how was it? But now that he's directing and he's in his own movies, like, how does he.

He has to watch himself.

He's like, ah, yeah, yeah, no, I can watch. And I like. Like, watching Pillion at Canvas was an incredible experience. I'm really glad I was in the room and stayed for that.

Did you watch Generation Kill? Do you know, do you, like, see yourself being not confident, or is it something that was completely internalized?

Yeah, no, it was. It's been a while. I watched it when it came out, and then I re watched it maybe 10 years ago, five years, seven years ago, something like that, and it was okay to watch it. Like, I didn't. I can see that I'm inexperienced and that I'm insecure.

Yeah.

But the writing is so good and the other actors are so good that I think it's like, it kind of makes up for it a bit.

I mean, I always love to hear people who I admire say that, you know, they have those moments because, you know, I look at performances like what you did in Big Little Lies, which was, you know, you can't do if you have any self doubt, you know, that is. It's an incredible performance. Performance, obviously. I mean, you won every award there is to win for it.

Very deservedly quite riddled with self doubt. Yeah, I definitely didn't go into that with complete confidence.

It was such a departure for you too, I think. I mean, it's.

Well, yeah, I didn't. Again, I didn't go into it with complete confidence or like. Or like, I can do this. It was just. Again, it was such a beautifully scripted relationship. So it was there on the page and an opportunity to explore that with.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Come on.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Nicole Kidman, like, one of the greatest. So that got me incredibly excited. Wow. What a. What a privilege to go deep and explore this very, very complicated, dark relationship with. With Nicole Kidman, you know, was probably built, I would say, definitely build up more self confidence than when I did Generation Kill. But I can still, definitely, still have moments that I'm like, I feel like a fraud, an imposter.

Yeah. I love that you also have worked with Nicole a few times. I say Nicole like I know her. I don't.

Nikki.

Nikki. Nick Nicks.

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Big.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

I'm a big fan of hers. I love that, you know, you did. Is it called North? North.

The Northman. Yeah.

Yeah, the Northman. With her as well.

Yeah, it was just working with her on Big Little L was such an extraordinary experience. So when there was an opportunity to explore another very, very disturbing relationship this time. Mother Son Insetsu's story.

Yeah.

Nicole was obviously the first one we wanted to go out to because it was like, I was just thrilled to kind of collaborate with her again on something.

[Waitstaff]

How is your food going?

[Alexander Skarsgård]

I think I'm done.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Thank you. Yeah, it's delicious. Really delicious. Thank you. Can. That should be for a double espresso.

Oh, can I have one too? Thank you.

Thank you.

And maybe I'll take a little milk on the side. A little milk.

Thank you.

I am curious since we have a little bit more time still getting coffee. What. What it was like being in military at such a young age. Is that. I mean, it's. Is it something in Sweden that's pretty common? Like, if you're a.

It wasn't. I mean, I guess when I. It was technically still mandatory to do military service, but it was quite easy to get out of it if you wanted, and a lot of people got out of it. I was at a place in life where I come from a very bohemian family of pacifists and didn't want to be an actor at the time. I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up in. In an urban area in South Stockholm. So not very outdoorsy. Like, we weren't like. Like most Swedes go skiing in the winter or out sailing in the summer, and we didn't need a either, you know, so there was something. And I was walking down the street and some recruiter gave me this pamphlet from this SAC Yak, which was the name of the unit. And of course, they made the pamphlet look like James Bond stuff. It was like, really cool. It was like diving, kayaking, falling off, jumping off boats and helicopters. It was like, you know, and I was like, all right, this is exactly what I want to do because I knew that I knew. Didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew I didn't want to be an actor. I don't, I can't say that it was like to rebel against my dad or my bohemian family, but it was again, I just was like, I want to go my own way. I want to do something different. Like, this sounds like a, an adventure, like an ex. That could be an interesting experience. So I joined that unit and was there for a year and a half in the archipelago outside of Stockholm. Andy, I'm, I think in hindsight I'm glad I did it. I think I learned a lot about myself and it was quite nice because we were, I was a team leader and it was just four of us. We were very, it's basically a very small unit. We were so, we were quite independent in a way. So, yes, we did. We went through, like the, you know, the whole drill sergeant, you know, the kind of the, the boot camp stuff. Yeah. To start with. But thank you so much. Of course, having had that experience is helpful. Well, definitely. I know when you play a Marine like in Generation Kill or I've done played a soldier a couple of other times and of course it makes it. It's helpful to have had this.

This reminds. I might have told the story already on a pocket I. The podcast. I auditioned for Band of Brothers and I auditioned to play one of the soldiers and it just was like, not a match. I mean, I, I, I like, like, I would have really just loved an ounce of like the history that you had with, like, being in the military. Like, I just, anything I could grab onto, I had nothing to grasp onto. Alex. It was bad. I, I remember having to say something about women's genitalia that begins with the word P. But in my head I heard it like, yes, pussy. Like, I just, like, I was like, it was like nothing. Like, what was happening in my head was not, I was not connected to it just, it did not work. And I was like, they see right through all this. I get out of this room. You are not.

But going in, going into the audition, did you feel like, you know what, I could be right for this?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Nope.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

It was, it was one of those.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Things where I was like, I, I.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Am new to this agency. I just, I just got to la. I, I'm on a show that people are excited about. I got to. I, I've gotta like, take every opportunity.

Were you walk working on something at the time?

I. It wasn't Modern Family. It was something Else.

Okay, but you were working. You were working on something that.

And I felt like I. I have to take these opportunities because people want to see me. It's a great casting director for hbo. I don't remember her name. It was just.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

I did not go in with confidence either.

That, though, because again, in those years between Zoolander and Generation Kill, when I lived in LA but didn't book a job, those were the. I found those experience. They were horrible. When. When you go in for something that you know you're not right for and you're not connecting with a character at all, but you're at a place where you feel like you can't say no to the audition because you're like, it's.

The message to your representatives.

Yeah. I felt like I was always on the cusp of being fired by my agents. So when they called about something and they were excited about the project, like, you know, this is like this courtroom drama. It's amazing. You're perfect for it. Like, oh, I have an audition in three weeks. They're giving me an audition. If I say no to this, they're probably going to drop me. So I got to go in. But I got. I don't connect to the role. I'm completely wrong for it.

Yeah. I would have. I would have loved just an ounce of military confidence in that moment, and.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I did not have it.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Yes.

Yes. I mean, I feel like I probably did sound like that I was really trying to butch it up, but, like, it was just. Didn't work.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Did not work.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Nope.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Didn't get it.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Didn't book it. Never even came close.

Really.

No, no, no, no. I have very few auditions that I'm like, ooh, that one hurt. That one's the one that stings a little bit. It's really embedded in my memory. Memory is like, a very uncomfortable moment for me. It also felt like I was being asked to play some, like, talk. Like, it was toxic masculinity. I was being asked to play, and it's just like, that's what I was afraid of, is, like, a kid. So it's like I'm asked to do this thing that, like, was put on me and, like, I don't know, it all just felt very bad.

I get a little PTSD because I remember the feeling of coming back to my little shitty apartment in la, you know, crying in the shower, going like that, you know, after a day like that, because I just. I just felt filthy in my soul for, like, in, like, also, like, zero confidence. I was like, I'm the worst actor in the world, and I also have no dignity because I go in and audition for this stuff that I. I'm wasting their time. I'm like, wasting. I mean, it's just like. It's a rough feeling.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's a rough.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Listen, it's a rough, weird business. Like I said at the beginning of this conversation, it's a weird thing that we do.

It is. It sure is.

It's a very weird thing. But, you know, I'm glad you found your way back to. Because you're really good, you know, saying that you didn't want to be an actor. I'm glad that, you know, you had that change of heart because I really love just watching you and everything you've done. I think you're a great actor, and you've always started surprising me and doing interesting things. I cannot wait to see this film with Pedro Pascal. And I'm really loving Murderbot.

Thank you. I'm really happy to hear that.

Yeah.

This has been a great lunch. I really enjoyed.

Thanks for doing this for your trip.

To Stockholm, and I'm really gonna try if. Hopefully I'll be back before you guys end of the run, so I can see you and Dennis. Be lovely to get together with Dennis again. It's been so long, you know.

Yeah.

Please send him a big, big kiss for me tonight.

I will. Open mouth.

Open. 100%. Yeah.

A little tongue.

Yeah, yeah. And a little cupping.

Yeah, Just a little cupping. I love all.

Yeah. I adore that man.

Yeah, he's pretty great. He loves you, too. Anyway, thanks for doing this.

Thank you. My pleasure. See you soon.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Alexander Skarsgård]

Yes.

Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

This episode of Dinner's on Me was recorded at Boca di Lupo in London. Soho. Next week on Dinners on Me, she's the voice behind iconic hit singles like Unwritten, Pocket Full of Sunshine, and these words. It's Natasha Bedingfield. We'll get into the backstory of the iconic single Unwritten, also known as the theme song of the Hills. Her conservative religious upbringing and an embarrassing moment with Sia that taught her an important lesson. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me. Plus, as a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click try free at the top of the Dinners On Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today, Dinners On Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our producer in the UK is Grace Laker. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Baer engineered this episode, Hansdale. She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika, Balance Kalasny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.