BRIDGET EVERETT — on saying goodbye to "Somebody Somewhere” and avoiding auditions at all costs

Summary

Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson: Bridget Everett on Saying Goodbye to "Somebody Somewhere” and Avoiding Auditions at All Costs

In this heartfelt and engaging episode of Dinner’s on Me, host Jesse Tyler Ferguson sits down with the multifaceted performer Bridget Everett to delve deep into her acclaimed HBO series Somebody Somewhere. Recorded at Salt's Cure in Hollywood, California, the conversation spans Bridget's illustrious career, personal struggles, and the profound impact of her latest project.

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1. Introduction to Bridget Everett

Jesse Tyler Ferguson warmly welcomes Bridget Everett, reminiscing about their first encounter at a karaoke night in New York's East Village. Jesse reflects on Bridget's meteoric rise in the entertainment industry, drawing parallels between her early performances and iconic figures like Bette Midler.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson [02:51]: "Bridget has always been a true original...I remember her early success being compared to the rise of Bette Midler."

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2. The Creation and Impact of Somebody Somewhere

Bridget shares the genesis of Somebody Somewhere, emphasizing the show's autobiographical roots and its reflection of her personal experiences. The series, which recently concluded its third and final season, has garnered critical acclaim, including a Peabody Award and a perfect score on Rotten Tomatoes.

Bridget Everett [02:31]: "I felt like what I was doing was trying to tell a human story, not like exploit myself."

Jesse elaborates on the show's significance, highlighting how it serves as a narrative marker for Bridget's life and allows her to express her vulnerabilities authentically.

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3. Navigating Personal Loss and Grief

A poignant segment of the conversation revolves around Bridget's personal losses, including the passing of her sister and father. The discussion delves into how these experiences shaped her portrayal of grief in her show and her coping mechanisms.

Bridget Everett [12:38]: "Most of us just sort of fade away. And, you know, and... there's nothing like it."

Bridget poignantly describes a scene from Somebody Somewhere where her character grapples with her sister's death, mirroring Bridget's own journey through grief.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson [42:05]: "It's like you gave your sister the most impressive...in a really beautiful way, in a very nuanced way."

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4. Relationships and Support Systems in the Industry

The episode highlights Bridget's close-knit relationships within the entertainment world, particularly her mentorship under Michael Patrick King. She credits him for his unwavering support and pivotal role in her career.

Bridget Everett [31:21]: "Michael...he has been instrumental in my life. He saw something in me before anybody else did."

Bridget also touches upon her interactions with other industry figures like Cynthia Nixon and Howard Stern, illustrating the network of support that has bolstered her career.

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5. Challenges with Auditions and Career Choices

Bridget candidly discusses her aversion to auditions, describing them as nerve-wracking experiences that undermine her confidence. Despite her success, she finds the audition process daunting and prefers roles to seek her out rather than pursuing them.

Bridget Everett [34:01]: "I can't do it. I'm too nervous. I'm just not. I can't do auditions."

This vulnerability adds depth to her persona, showcasing the human side of a celebrated performer.

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6. Reflections on Somebody Somewhere and Personal Growth

Bridget reflects on how Somebody Somewhere allowed her to channel her personal struggles into her art, fostering a sense of authenticity and connection with her audience. She expresses gratitude for the opportunity to tell her story in her own way, free from exploitation.

Bridget Everett [40:11]: "I feel so lucky that I got to do something and express it the exact way I wanted to."

Jesse draws parallels between Bridget's experiences and his own, particularly in how both have used their platforms to explore and express personal narratives.

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7. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the conversation winds down, Bridget and Jesse share personal anecdotes and express mutual admiration. Bridget humorously recounts her creative approach to handling her mother's ashes, highlighting her unique perspective even in moments of sorrow.

Bridget Everett [47:26]: "She likes to be left alone."

The episode concludes with Jesse teasing the next guest, Kathy Bates, promising another insightful and entertaining conversation.

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Notable Quotes:

• Bridget Everett [07:15]: "I was on stage for 90 minutes to two hours, sweat my tits off, and Nicole just comes out there and steals the whole show."

• Jesse Tyler Ferguson [19:13]: "It's one of the reasons I think you resonated so deeply in that character. I think there was just an undercurrent of understanding..."

• Bridget Everett [37:28]: "What a mistake."

• Jesse Tyler Ferguson [44:24]: "Grief is hard."

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Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson offers an intimate glimpse into Bridget Everett's life, showcasing her resilience, talent, and the authentic storytelling that has endeared her to audiences worldwide. This episode is a must-listen for fans seeking to understand the depth behind Bridget's captivating performances and her journey through personal and professional landscapes.

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Production Credits:

Dinner’s on Me is produced by Sony Music Entertainment and A Kid Named Beckett Productions, with executive production led by Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Jonathan Hirsch. Special thanks to Joanna Clay, Angela Vang, Sam Baer, Hansdale, Sami Allison, Tameka Balance, Kolasny, and Justin Makita for their contributions.

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Subscribe and Stay Updated:

To never miss an episode of Dinner’s on Me, subscribe to Dinner’s on Me PLUS for early access and an ad-free experience. Visit the show page on Apple Podcasts and click ‘Try Free’ to start your free trial today.

Transcript

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The other day, I was making lemonade with my sons, Beckett and Sully, and Beckett is a little bit of a perfectionist. I'm not sure where he gets that from. It's me. It's definitely me. But he was getting really upset about the seeds falling into the juice, and it was turning into a bit of high drama. Now, listen, there's an easier way to do this. Who knew? Wonderful seedless lemons are a 100% naturally seedless lemon variety. They're juicy, zesty, bright, and everything you love about lemons, minus the. See, that's right. No more seeds floating in your lemonade or Diet Coke or getting caught in your teeth when you take a bite of salad. Frankly, that's just a hazard. Wonderful seedless lemons are available nationwide at retailers such as Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Walmart, Kroger, as well as select Costco outlets. Look for wonderful seedless lemons at your local retailer or visit wonderfulseedlesslemons.com to learn more. Hey, it's Jesse. Now I have a question for you. Have you thought about hosting on Airbnb? I know so many of my listeners have such interesting lives. Maybe you're a traveling nurse running from hospital to hospital, or a touring musician, a pilot, a truck driver. I mean, there are so many jobs that take us away from our homes for long stretches of time. And even though there's perks in traveling, I love it. It's sometimes a bummer to be gone for extended periods and know that no one is there to enjoy the space we've put so much of ourselves into. So I come back to my initial question. Have you thought about hosting on Airbnb? Whether it's your whole home or just an unused space within your home, you have an Airbnb. I'm telling you, I know your next thought. Well, that's a lot of work. I got to make a listing. I got to make sure the house is clean, be by my phone in case I need anything. Ah. Well, let me tell you, Airbnb has a solution for you. With Airbnb's new co host feature, you can now hire a local co host who handles everything from start to finish. They can manage your communicate with guests, handle the reservations, and even make sure your place looks amazing for every stay. So you know you're not stuck worrying about last minute questions while you're in, I don't know, a completely different time zone. Find a co [e-mail] host hi, it's Jesse today on the show. You know her from the charming and hilarious show on hbo. Somebody somewhere. It's Bridget Everett.

[Bridget Everett]

I think there's something like in cabaret, and a lot of things when people talk about their experiences can feel a little masturbatory in a way. But I felt like what I was doing was trying to tell a human story, not like exploit myself, you know what I mean? And I feel so lucky that I got to do something and express it the exact way I wanted to.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

This is Dinner is on Me, and I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I have been lucky enough to be a part of the entertainment business for almost 35 years. I'm gonna be 50 next year now. Those distant early years are full of memories that feel like fever dreams. So I am so grateful that I am still in contact with many of those people that were part of my early days in New York. So many of them are doing incredible things with their lives. And one of the best parts of doing this podcast is that it has occasionally offered me full circle moments with some of those early friends I ran around with in my when I get to have them on this podcast as a guest now. In 1998, I walked into an East Village karaoke bar to see a cabaret singer my friend was obsessed with. 26 years later, that very singer, Bridget Everett, is with me having a meal and reminiscing about the season finale of her critically acclaimed television show that she stars in that also happens to be based on her life. Bridget has always been a true original. She has molded her skill as an entertainer in the downtown cabaret scene, picking fans like Sarah Jessica Parker, amy Sedaris, Patti LuPone, Michael Patrick King. The latter even took her under his wing and worked with her to develop her first fully realized solo show called At Least It's Pink. I remember her early success being compared to the rise of Bette Midler. And her shows in New York were always critically lauded. Sold out hot tickets. It also felt like every time I checked back in on Bridget, there was a new show, an exciting pilot, or a dramatic role in a film. I was always wowed by the moves she was making. Wowed, but never surprised. Because when I first saw her at that East Village karaoke bar, I remember thinking, this person is a star and is going to have a wild ride of a career. Now I knew I wanted to have Bridget on this podcast. When I learned her autobiographical show on hbo, somebody somewhere was going into its third and final season. I love this show so much and I'm not the only one. The entire program was critically lauded and won A Peabody. Aw. It even has a perfect 100 fresh score on Rotten Tomatoes, which I guess it means it has zero Rotten Tomatoes. I don't know. Someone has to explain that to me. It was so serendipitous that Bridget and I met up for a meal just a few days after the series finale of Somebody Somewhere aired.

[Bridget Everett]

Oh, my God, let me turn this thing off. Oh, do we? How does it work? You pretend like you're ordering or something.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

If you've watched an episode of Somebody Somewhere, and, well, listen, if you haven't, please stop this episode and go watch it. It is so sweet and so special. But watching the show, you know how important brunch is. The show's cafe is like central perk in Friends, where Bridget's character Sam, often orders up French toast for the table. So I thought I had to bring Bridget to a spot that has long held a reputation for a killer brunch since its opening nearly 15 years ago. Salt's Cure in Hollywood. Salt's Cure also has that same scrappy energy I admire in Bridget. Everything is made in house, from the bread and crackers to the sausages and bacon. There's a can do spirit in the commitment of the staff, who have a passion for honest food without frills. Okay, let's get to the conversation. I just came in from Vancouver.

[Bridget Everett]

Were you at Taylor Swift?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I was at Taylor Swift's last show.

[Bridget Everett]

How was that? Oh, you've got all the things on.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

These are just the bracelets I got while I was in the airport coming home.

[Bridget Everett]

Oh, like, people were giving them to you or something.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I've only been to Vancouver once before, and it was great. I liked working there, but it was a totally different experience because it was like. The entire city was like. It was like Disneyland. But Taylor Swift just everybody. Like, I went to a Barry's Boot Camp, and they have usually a sign that says, like, smoothies here. And it was like. But it was, like, done in, like, friendship bracelet fonts.

[Bridget Everett]

Oh, my God.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And, like, at the airport, there was, like, a thing that says welcome to the aerosol at the airport.

[Bridget Everett]

Can you imagine just being such a. I mean, just taking over the world like that?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Truly. And then I read that, like, she brought in more to the economy in Vancouver than the Olympics did.

[Bridget Everett]

Oh, my God.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I know.

[Bridget Everett]

Oh, my God.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I know. Yes.

[Bridget Everett]

I'm gonna have a club soda, please.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'll have a Topo Chico, too.

[Bridget Everett]

Oh, is it called Topo Chico? Is that what you get? That's so exciting. Ooh, that makes me poop. Right.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

A better makes me so gassy. Do you need a poop?

[Bridget Everett]

No, I just don't need any help farting, that's all. Oh, gosh. Well, you do have a fart joke. Are we live? Are we rolling?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, we've been going since you parked.

[Bridget Everett]

Fuck. I just wanna. Before we go any further, I'm really sorry about your mom. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry. I don't know if you wanna talk about that, but.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, no, it's fine. Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

Okay to bring it up. Sorry.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, thank you. I appreciate it. I actually, I do wanna talk to you about it because, you know, you've lost a parent, too.

[Bridget Everett]

You bought both now and a sister.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And a sister and a dog. So you win.

[Bridget Everett]

So you win. And a. So who else?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Truly.

[Bridget Everett]

Truly.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You're racking them up.

[Bridget Everett]

Racking them up.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

It's not a competition, but.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And we got bingo over here.

[Bridget Everett]

Okay, so Taylor Swift, Vancouver. Okay.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah. Anyway.

[Bridget Everett]

All right.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's why I'm wearing friendship bracelets. But, yeah, so we. We saw the show. It was fantastic. It was incredible. Jenna Fisher was at the. The concert in our area as well. And halfway through the concert, she just looked at me and she goes, I'm getting really stressed out. Like, how does she handle her emails? How does she handle her text messages? I was like, don't worry about Jenna. You could sleep tonight. She's not gonna have to. Like, she's like. I just imagine if she gets off stage, she's gonna have, like 900 text messages and she's gonna feel like she needs to answer those. I was like, I just. Right now I need to calm down.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And we all need to calm down about our text messages. And I just guarantee you it's gonna be okay. Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, come over here. Come over here. Come over here. Yeah. Okay. Now, what would you recommend? So we're known for our breakfast, specifically our griddle cakes. Okay. You should get those for the table. For the table.

[Bridget Everett]

For the table, maybe. Legend goes that our owner at 6, his mom was really hungover one morning and he looked in the fridge and got together everything to make pancakes. But they were his original twist on it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So those are the griddle cakes. Okay.

[Bridget Everett]

Okay. Those for the table.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

For the table. We're quoting her show.

[Bridget Everett]

Okay. And then any of our salads are.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Really good, especially with salmon. If you're into kind of like a lighter lunchtime vibe, I think I might do that.

[Bridget Everett]

I'd like that sunflower crunch. I'll take it with you. Know, some sort of protein. Surprise me. Surprise you? Well, not really, but not duck. But anything else is good.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Okay, I'm gonna have the grain bowl. I think I'm gonna do it with salmon. The salmon's really good. Yeah. Okay, perfect.

[Bridget Everett]

I thought you weren't gonna order, and you had, like. This was, like, sort of my foray into Onlyfans, and it was gonna be people watching, people that like to watch me eat. I'm seriously trying to think. I'm like, what's the best way to hustle some cash? Yeah. You know, I'm not very good at small talk, so if you wanna bring it at once, you can. We'd love to have real conversationalists on this podcast. And then you called me. What a mistake.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, because we just thought, let's do. Let's give ourselves a challenge this week. Thank you. You were a fantastic conversationalist. You're actually shyer than most people I think would believe. Yeah, that's what I think.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah. I think I am.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

I mean, I know you, but, like, I still, like, just feel like in life, I'm. I don't enjoy talking. No. I like talking to people. But I don't know what's happened to me. Like, I was just back in Kansas and I was talking to people. Cause that's what people in Kansas do. But in New York, I put my headphones on and I just sort of, like, look down at the ground, look at my dog. And I actually have fake conversations on the phone all the time.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

All the time?

[Bridget Everett]

All the time. And not even. Because I'm trying to, like, not talk to people. I just like to pretend I'm really busy. Well, then that way, like, if you walk around the corner and you run into somebody you don't want to talk to, you, you're already in conversation, you're on.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So just in preparation, just in case.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's amazing. Wait, Bridget, I just watched episode seven of season three. Is that the finale?

[Bridget Everett]

Oh, you did? You watched?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes.

[Bridget Everett]

Did you watch all the stuff before? Do you know what's happened?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes, I watched the whole show. I thought I texted you when I watched our watch.

[Bridget Everett]

I did, but I black out. You know, when somebody says anything nice or connects in any way, I just black out. But, yeah, to answer your question, that's the end of the show for the.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, my God. How do you feel?

[Bridget Everett]

I'm really sad. You know, I'm depressed.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And so the finale must have just, like, aired a few days ago, then.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah, it aired two days ago. Is it Tuesday.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I don't even know it's Tuesday now.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah, Yeah. I. The cast and I all went back to Manhattan, Kansas, where I'm from and where the show set. And we did a finale watch party, and then I took them around to all the spots, and so it was like sort of a victory lap for us and kind of a way to collectively celebrate slash mourn. And then we all watched it together. And the place that they. They did this old theater they're trying. The Wareham Theater. My hometown, where they're trying to, like, you know, bring back to life is Manhattan, Kansas. Manhattan, Kansas. Yeah. And it was like a rock concert in there. Like, people were so hyped, and I don't. You know, there's many people haven't seen the finale, but there's a moment at the end that sort of like. And everybody was on their feet, like, for the whole end. And I turned around, I was just, like, you know, weeping, because this show's very personal to me, and you don't really get a chance to. I mean, people in New York stop you, but, like, to get that experience of the people that live there. And I don't know. There's nothing like it. Yeah. So I'm emotional. I'm not gonna cry out, you know, right now. I'll cry with you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I cry watching the show. I think it's so beautiful. I mean, and I do know how close it is to you. I mean, basically, it's the story of, like, what your life might have been had you not left your hometown. And it has a cast of people I have loved so much for so long. I don't know how much of this was. Was your doing or if it was just truly the casting director, but that cast of Jeff Hiller and Mary Katherine Garrison and Marie Hill, Tim Bagley. Yes. Oh, my God.

[Bridget Everett]

So good. They're all good.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's so good. But it's all these people who have been, you know, kicking it around in New York for so long, and it was so gratifying to see them with you in this incredible piece of.

[Bridget Everett]

I think that's, like, work. Part of what? Oh, my God.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes.

[Bridget Everett]

I ordered these to go one time. I had them delivered by. Whatever. It's the only time I ever had them. And they were so good. Delivered like, you know, after sitting in a box for 30 minutes. I can't imagine what they're gonna be like fresh out the gate.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

What if you're like, can you take them back and just, like, let them sit there for, like, 10 minutes? I kind of like that.

[Bridget Everett]

It's the only way I know that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Bridget tells me about the stellar cast of Somebody Somewhere, which includes folks that were super core to her start as a cabaret singer in New York and we'll get into the first time I witnessed her performing because witnessed is honestly the only word I can use to describe it. Okay, be right back. New Year, new you Wellness is especially top of mind for me this holiday season. After weeks of indulgent meals and late nights, I realized my body was begging for a reset and Whole Foods Market is the perfect partner for that. They're your go to for high quality ingredients from organic produce to no antibiotics ever meats. Did you know Whole foods bans over 300 questionable ingredients from their foods and 150 from their supplements. Plus they offer over 40 organic options. Looking to up your protein game? Grab sustainable wild caught sockeye salmon, organic chicken breasts or their famous rotisserie chicken. Perfect for busy weeknights and for those taking a dry January refresh with alcohol free drinks like Athletic Brewing Beer or Mingles Paloma Cocktail. They're delicious. Save time with meal hacks like salad kits ready to cook veggies and ready to heat soups. All available for pickup or delivery. Terms apply to all sales, pickup and delivery. Make Whole Foods Market the home for your wellness routine. Hi, this is Jesse, host of the podcast Dinners on Me. The holidays are always hectic and by the time January rolls around, I am craving simple, healthy meals that don't take hours to prepare. That's where Whole Foods Markets meal hacks come in. Last week, after a long day at work, I grabbed one of their salad kits. I paired it with one of their famous rotisserie chickens and dinner was done in under 10 minutes. No stress, no mess, just good food made eas. And the best part? It's all high quality. No questionable ingredients. Just fresh wholesome options that I can feel great about eating. Their ready to cook veggies and heat and serve soups are lifesavers as well. Whether I'm in a rush to hit the gym or I just want some extra time to play with my kids, Whole Foods helps me spend less time in the kitchen and more time doing what I love. Whole Foods makes it easy to stick to my wellness goals without sacrificing flavor or time. Terms apply to all sales, pickup and delivery. Make Whole Foods Market the home in your wellness routine. And we're back with more dinners on me. No, but you're Saying, oh, like the cast. Yeah, yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

What's so great about it is, you know, I feel like we're all kind of like, Mary Catherine was successful on Broadway and we were roommates. I don't know if you remember that, but we lived together for, like, eight or ten years. I was waiting tables, and she was on Broadway. And how's your. For the table work? Do you like to cut and put on your plate or you just eat from the thing?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I can eat from the thing.

[Bridget Everett]

Okay.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

How do you like to do it?

[Bridget Everett]

I don't care.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You can do it.

[Bridget Everett]

I'm really flexible. That's one thing that nobody's ever said about me. Oh, you're so flexible, Bridget. Not in mind, body, or spirit. Let me just get a bite of this, and then I can talk more about my feelings because I've just really been eating. Is this one of your spots? Do you come here?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I've been here, but I've never had this.

[Bridget Everett]

What? What?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Mm.

[Bridget Everett]

What?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's hotter than lava right now. But it is so good.

[Bridget Everett]

I don't care. Burn me, burn me, baby. Oh, my God. You know, a lot of times you go, and they're, like, so fluffy, and then you just, like, sort of taste like a. You know, like, all the flour in it. But this is just like. They're, like, thin and crispy.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah. So good.

[Bridget Everett]

Okay, good. But, yeah, you know, and. And Murray gave me my first gig, like, 20 years ago or something like that when I got a deal with hbo. Short story long, Carolyn Strauss and I reached out to Paul Thuring and Hannah Boss, and they came up with the idea for the pilot. But the. But the only thing that they had in the script was, and Murray Hill is Frederic Coco. And, like, you know, that just. It was very emotional for me because we've been kicking around for a long time and seeing a lot of our friends go on to do great things and very excited for everybody. We're just like, I guess we'll just be in the clubs and we're gonna be the club people that, you know, people come back and see when they're coming back from whatever. But.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And the actor who played your father, who was so wonderful, passed away after the first season, Right? Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

Mike Hagerty, another great kind of person who's knocked around for a long time. He sounded incredible, you know, as an overboard. And, like.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. And friends.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah. Friends. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The superintendent friends. Yeah. Did he remind you of your dad in any way?

[Bridget Everett]

No, he was.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, no.

[Bridget Everett]

My dad and I were. I guess what's the clinical word, not close.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Okay, yeah, got it, got it, got it.

[Bridget Everett]

You know, this is. This is kind of like the dream of a father.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

But he walked in the room when I came to LA to, like, read with the father people. And as soon as he walked in the room, I started crying because it's kind of like what I always. Just a feeling I got from him. Like, I always dreamt of having a connection with a father like that. And we had a very. Just instant connection.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And, yeah, you have been through, I mean, a lot of loss. In fact, the impetus for your characters, the starting off point in the pilot, is that your sister dies of cancer and you end up moving into her old home. And, you know, you have another sister played by Mary Catherine, who you have a tricky relationship with. Your mom's an alcoholic. You're. You know, it's. The show begins from a point of grief. And I know you lost your sister and your father. Kind of been close proximity, like a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

But, yeah, I didn't, you know, come up with the idea of the world. Paul and Hannah did. And they so was like, you know, she sings. She has a sister who's died. So I was like, fuck, if we're gonna be talking about a dead sister and my love of music and, like, real friendship, like, this is. This is gonna be a problem. This is gonna be very emotional in a way.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, because, like, that's, like, all stuff that you can tap into in real life. Like.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah, I'm no chameleon, you know, I can. If it feels real, then I can do it. But, like, I'm. No, like, what? Like Tilda Swinton or somebody.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Patty Cakes. You did. You kind of transformed. You were pretty phenomenal.

[Bridget Everett]

It was the nails.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Let me back up a little bit because I. I was trying to remember the first time we met. And I remember pretty vividly it was at a karaoke night in the East Village that Murray was maybe hosting and you were performing at. And I think I was dragged along by Zach Schaeffer and Jason Egan and maybe even T.R. knight. And they're like, come see my friend Bridget. And I went, that was the first time I sort of witnessed you doing your thing. But it was in a very.

[Bridget Everett]

I mean, this is a great way to say it. Just witnessed.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, it washed over me.

[Bridget Everett]

I was like, what?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

What is going on? That's the first time you did your thing on me. But it was so incredible to see these shows and you told stories about your life, but still with this sort of like, reckless abandon of, like, this unhinged cabaret performance. And it was just. It was all very, very exciting every time I got to see you do something. And I'm just thrilled I got to see you in that sort of, like, early seat of a. I miss that stuff.

[Bridget Everett]

I miss, like. I was just thinking about that the other day, like, how, like, you know, you could be a little more lawless in those days and a little more off the rails. And I miss those like, kind of smaller club things, but I. But those are like. That was my Juilliard, I guess.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

You know.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

The back room of the cock was my Juilliard. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, sort of mine too.

[Bridget Everett]

Wait, did you go to school for a while?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I went to the American Musical and Dramatic Academy. Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

Is that what I said?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And you studied opera?

[Bridget Everett]

I did.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Which is so crazy to me, isn't so weird. I've never heard you sing opera.

[Bridget Everett]

I can't do it anymore. I mean, I just, like, it took so much discipline. Like, I could never be in a bar that was smoky. I could never, like, I was a swimmer in the chlorine. Like, my cords are very sensitive. So I found a style of singing that matched my lifestyle.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Hard.

[Bridget Everett]

Hard, hard. Yeah, hard. That's right.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, my God. I. I got to see rock bottom. I remember at Joe's Pub because I vividly remember Cool Escola in a diaper. Uh huh. That was one of the first times I saw them on stage.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah. Cole was playing like, my unborn fetus, I guess.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right, right.

[Bridget Everett]

And then came up on the stage and diapers and a bald cap. And I was like, I'm out here for 90 minutes to two hours, sweat my tits off, and Nicole just comes out there and steals the whole show. But you know what? Good.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I vividly remember it. I. I think, you know, when I think of cabaret and certainly I actually took a cabaret class at amda.

[Bridget Everett]

A cabaret class?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

There's a cabaret class done A cabaret. Like a. I have.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I did like, a little thing at Joe's Pub.

[Bridget Everett]

Okay.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I remember we had to do a cabaret presentation at 88s. Remember 88s?

[Bridget Everett]

Yes. Oh, wow, look at that. Thank you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Thank you. This looks delicious. I can't remember, do you guys want.

[Bridget Everett]

Any hot sauce, salt and pepper? I'll have hot sauce, salt and pepper, please. Thank you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But we. We had to, like, perform one song, and it was part of, like, cabaret showcase. And anyway, when I think of cabaret, I sort of think of that, you know, very buttoned up man at a piano singing in a smoky bar, you know. But the cabaret that I think, you know, you are speaking of that you sort of embodied that in Justin. Vivian Bond embodied. And Murray Hill and Kola Scola is this sort of. It's almost. Well, and you're compared to her a lot. But more like what Bette Midler was doing, you know, in the bathhouse with Barry Manilow. And there was something sort of dangerous about it. Yeah, that's like when I was, like, just leaving school and starting to, like, try and work. So that was, like, the New York that I really fondly remember, because that was the New York I started exploring about, like, oh, what is this? What are some of the things I could do and who were some of my inspirations? And I was going downtown to find those people who inspired me. And you were.

[Bridget Everett]

And going to Herb shows.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Absolutely.

[Bridget Everett]

That was like the Christmas shows that they did.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah. You know, a lot of people that were in that kind of world, and I was like, this is what I've been looking for this whole time. That did not exist in Kansas and it did not exist in Arizona when I went to Arizona State. And how much time did you kill.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Between leaving college and, like, coming to New York? What did you do with that time?

[Bridget Everett]

Four years, Something like that. I was like. I was waiting tables, singing in karaoke bars. Originally, when I was going to karaoke bars, I would kind of, like, sit back and make fun of people. And then I did it once. I was like, oh, my God. Like, that was my awakening. You know, I used to wait on a lot of the baseball players. They had the Cactus League down there, like, the, you know, the spring training. And they would have me sing the national anthem. I was like, well, this is as far as I'm going to get. And every time I've done something, I'm like, well, this is as far as I'm gonna get. And maybe with somebody somewhere, I'm like, this is as far as I'm gonna get, which is a great place to be. But, you know, I just sort of always kind of go with what's right in front of me.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, you kind of have to. I think I love the stories of you juggling between, you know, your job as a waitress and doing your shows at night and being very successful. I mean, you were doing. I mean, I remember you were always, like, in Time Out New York, and, like, the New York Times was, like, always raving about every time you're on stage, but during this same time, you were still waiting tables. Yeah. And you said something about how, like, you wanted to work uptown. Cause you didn't necessarily want to mix your audience.

[Bridget Everett]

I tried to keep the worlds apart by, like, you know, 60 bucks, 80 bucks or whatever. And it mostly works, you know, but, like, occasionally somebody would come in, and I had, like, a very loyal, great audience, but it was, like, small and it was. You know, but they were just downtown mostly. And then every once in a while, somebody would come in, and I would just. I would be humiliated. But there's nothing wrong with, like. But I didn't see it that way at the time.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I definitely could relate to that. I remember I met Jane Krakowski randomly outside of. She was doing Company on Broadway, and she came out of the stage door, and she, like, kind of recognized me, and she was like, I know you from somewhere. I was like, oh, I don't think we do. And then I was working up at the. Ironically, on the Airboys side. You're old, stomping around. I was working at the Star, where I was working at the Starbucks on 84th and Broadway. And she comes in to get her coffee, and she's like, oh, this is where I know you from.

[Bridget Everett]

Oh, see? Like that. And I was.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So. I was a bit mortified, but at the same time, I'm like, she wasn't mortified. And she was like, you know, yeah, it's in here.

[Bridget Everett]

It's nothing. And New York and every place is full of people that are doing things to get from A to Z. But, you know, there was a moment where I was. Not a moment I went to. I was in the Hamptons staying. You know, I was at this dinner party in the Hamptons, and I was waiting tables. But I was also, you know, pretty. Doing a lot of stuff at Joe's Pub and a lot of cabaret or whatever. Anyway, we were at this famous person's house with a lot of famous people. And one of those famous people was Howard Stern. And I ended up sitting next to him in this circle, and he starts talking to me, and I was like, he's like, so. And he was very nice, you know, and he was like, so what do you do? I was like, oh, I'm a waitress. Anyway, he's gone on to talk. He talked about. On his show one time, he was like. Because he was talking about somebody somewhere, and his wife likes the show, and he talks about it, and he's like, you know, I met her, and she introduced herself as a waitress. And what was she. Was she trying to punk me or something? And I was like, no, that's just how I saw myself. Do you know what I mean? I just thought of myself that way, even though I was like really successful in terms of a downtown cabaret artist. And so I don't know, I was like, I hope I run across him again one day so I can sort of explain why.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But it's interesting that he, he, he remembered you.

[Bridget Everett]

I know.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Well, it's that tricky thing, you know, I certainly understand it. And you know, the, the first eight years of my career were me piecing together money to pay the rent. And it's like you don't necessarily, I mean, in your heart you identify yourself as the thing you're passionate about.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But you know, I think when people ask like what you do, it's like, how do you pay the rent?

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

How do you make, you know.

[Bridget Everett]

Exactly.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And what do you do to pay the bills?

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah, but that doesn't.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Hopefully will someday, but.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah, and it shouldn't, you know, you shouldn't let that minimize your worth. Like, don't, don't let my example be the way. But I mean, I've definitely changed since I've done the show. I'm like, I can call myself a writer, a producer, a Peabody Award winner, a Peabody Award winner and an actor. I feel like I can say that now. You know, I feel like there's.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It.

[Bridget Everett]

It's not. I still think of myself mostly as a singer, but I can say I do those things because I pay my bills now. And you know, I bought myself this shirt with that money.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

This costs many penny.

[Bridget Everett]

I can go out to dinner. I don't have to check my balance first, you know.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, we'll talk about Bridget's close knit relationship with Sex and the City. And just like that, writer and director Michael Patrick King, who has been one of her champions and co conspirators since her early days performing in gay bars. He also produced her first one woman cabaret show, At Least It's Pink at the ars Nova in 2007. Okay, be right back. In 2017, it felt like drugs were everywhere in the news. So I started a podcast called On Drugs. We covered a lot of ground over two seasons, but there are still so.

[Bridget Everett]

Many more stories to tell. I'm Jeff Turner and I'm back with.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Season three of On Drugs.

[Bridget Everett]

And this time it's gonna get personal. I don't know who sober Jeff is.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I don't even know if I like that guy On Drugs is Available now, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bridget Everett]

Hey, everybody, it's Hoda Kotb, and I would love for you to join me for new episodes of my podcast, Making Space. Each week I'm having conversations with authors, actors, speakers, and dear friends of mine, folks who are seeking the truth, compassion, and self discovery. I promise you will leave these talks stronger and inspired to make space in your own life for growth and change. To start listening, just search Making Space wherever you get your podcasts and follow for new episodes every Wednesday.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And we're back with more dinners on me. And I know Michael Patrick King is so, so proud of you. He talks about you at any opportunity he can, he gets. I've become recently sort of friendly with him. I wouldn't say friendly with him. I have. I'm friends with him. In fact, I feel like I just missed you. One of his dinner parties. You were staying with him, I think.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And you had just left and Cynthia Nixon. I got Cynthia Nixon instead.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but Michael's like. He's one of those people that I kind of wait to hear from after I do something. Like, to hear after an episode, there's like five people I want to hear from him, and he's one of them. He just matters to me. He's like a mentor to me. He saw something in me before anybody else did. And a lot of. When you're younger in New York, a lot of people come sniffing around and they come to your shows or whatever, and they're like, oh, you know, we should do something, but they don't mean it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You know, this was obviously Michael Patrick King, when you first met him, was pretty. Was he fresh off of Sex and the City, or was he in the midst of.

[Bridget Everett]

No, the Comeback had just been canceled.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The Comeback had just been canceled.

[Bridget Everett]

So anyway. But Michael Patrick Hinks saw me do this. I did my show at the Aspen Comedy Festival, and I was like, this is my big break, whatever I did in this huge venue. And, you know, there were those that stayed, but there were those that left. And I was backstage crying and Jon. Jon Battles was there. Do you know John.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

John Battles? I just saw him a few weeks ago.

[Bridget Everett]

Our friend John John. I just, like, went backstage and collapsed into his arms. You know, I'm not. I wasn't like somebody who shared my emotions at that time, but, like, I just had to. I was like, I just shit the bed. In front of all. In front of all Hollywood.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You thought you hadn't done a while.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah. And then Michael And Craig came backstage, and he was just, like, beaming, you know? I mean, he really has been instrumental in my life.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

And he gave me a bag from Marc Jacobs when we did. It was my first fancy purse.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, really?

[Bridget Everett]

He did?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That was like, a gift for baby show.

[Bridget Everett]

He said, the card. I'll never forget it. A star deserves a slightly better bag. That's so sweet. I had some piece of shit from the Gap that, like, I'd had for so long that, you know, like, it was threadbare and whatever, but I thought it was. That was cute.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That is so sweet.

[Bridget Everett]

It wasn't.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's so nice of him. Aw, he's a good guy. I really like him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's such a fan of yours.

[Bridget Everett]

This is impressive. You don't even have, like, a list of notes or anything. You're just pulling my hair from you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, I feel the earth move. Okay. No, like, I have this.

[Bridget Everett]

Oh, you do that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Let's see, what else.

[Bridget Everett]

When I'm on set, I put my sides in my pocket. Cause I feel like they seep up through my body into my brain. I'm serious.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Wait. Oh, audition. I have to think about auditions. You hate to audition.

[Bridget Everett]

I don't. Yeah, you don't audition. I mean, almost never. Really, like, even, like, really good ones, I'll just. I'll get out of. Like, I just.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You just snake your way out of them.

[Bridget Everett]

I can't do it. I'm too nervous. I'm just not. I can't do. I'm not good at auditions. If I audition for something, I will not get the part. So they either have to offer it to me or I'm just not gonna do it, because I just don't. I can't. I can't. I'm, like, right now.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I see you, like, going through it.

[Bridget Everett]

Just talking about it. I cannot. I mean, I've tried. Like, I auditioned for Jerry Seinfeld, had me audition for the Pop up with the Pop Tart movie.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

And he was like, come. You know, just come and, you know, read with me. And. Well, it's just me, you know? And I. I know him, and he's been very nice to me.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. You're on Comedians to Cars. Yeah, Comedians in Cars getting coffee.

[Bridget Everett]

I've been at their house for dinner. I've been to Vacation with the family. I love them. But I was like, absolutely not. Like, I'm like, I can't.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You said no.

[Bridget Everett]

I'm like, so. He's like, okay, then put it on tape. So my Friend Zach came over, and we worked on this one scene for, like, four hours. But the idea of, like, auditioning for somebody, like, it just. It gets in my head too much. Like, I can't. My shoulders are so tight right now. Like, I don't know. I do think that I should take one of those beta blockers. Maybe that'll help me. But right now, literally, if Scorsese sent me 10 pages and was like, all you gotta do is just read them. Just read them.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And it's the part of a.

[Bridget Everett]

It's a part of a lifetime.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's a part of a lifetime. It's about this woman who works in a club. She's a singer. She likes motorboat people. I don't know. I think it might be right for you. You won't do it?

[Bridget Everett]

No. Interesting call, Rebel Wilson. But, you know, you're somebody that can just show up, and they're like, action. And you're like, razzle dazzle. JTF never disappoints.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No. I'm disappointed a few times. A few times. I also just love that these opportunities you've been given, both Sam and Somebody somewhere, and also in Patty Cakes are these very grounded individuals that really don't have anything. They're so different from your onstage Persona.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes. You can go quiet, you can go meaningful. I've seen you sing ballads and. And it's beautiful. And, you know, you're like that. You're the clown that also knows how to break a heart, too. But it's just interesting to me that these opportunities have found you strictly because of your work on stage.

[Bridget Everett]

And they're so different. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And so I just feel like it's interesting just to point out that people see that range in you.

[Bridget Everett]

It is interesting because sometimes, like, I remember, like, I sort of. I'm having that energy right now of, like, having the conversation with Carolyn Strauss, who's, you know, is kind of the. I think of her of the mother as the mother of somebody somewhere. To me, she's a Holly or. Well, she is a Hollywood legend. Not just to me. She know Game of Thrones and the Last of Us and Chernobyl. She was at HBO during Sex and the City. And Soprano's like, she's the real deal. And she's incredibly generous and smart and funny. And she also was behind the pilot with the Lovey Moore pilot. Like, she's just always seen something in me that I wasn't really sure was there.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

What is it? I mean, to have this big moment, this show behind you. Now. I mean, it's gotta feel so. I mean, most people don't have these big opportunities to happen in their life, and it's also based on so much personal stuff in their life. That's a very unique thing to what you've done and what you've created.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And it's one of the reasons I think, you resonated so deeply in that character. I think there was just an undercurrent of understanding of, first of all, that place, that family, that sorrow that she'd been through, you know, her love of dogs, like, all this stuff, like, lives in you so vibrantly as just you. To get to play a part like that. I. Sometimes I'm so thankful for Modern Family because I got to live out some of my fantasies of. I was bullied heavily as a child, and I got to use some of these photos of me at the age where I was so heavily bullied in flashback sequences. And there was something so empowering about the fact that I got to take this version of myself that people were just mean and hated and for no reason, and I got to use it in such a positive way on such a big platform. And I was like, I hope these people are seeing this version of me and, like, being celebrated.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I don't know. I just thought about you a lot when I was sort of, like, thinking about the parallels of your life and that show.

[Bridget Everett]

I love that, like, even sitting here, like, talking about it, I feel like we're sort of talking about my life in third person in a way. Do you know what I mean? The. The experience of it felt very small, but, like, what. What it is outside of that, you know, like, the filming of it, the writing of it, the. The. Just the day to day of it felt very small, very personal. Like we were a tiny little family. And then people see it and then they want to talk about it, and you're like, this is a. I don't feel like I'm. I feel like I'm talking about somebody else's life in a way. But I don't think I'll ever have an experience like this again. I'm just happy I got to have it in the first place because it was developed for me and I got to put. Really put my stamp on it. I really. The. More the seasons. You know, as the seasons went on, I put more and more of myself in a. You know, more. More writing, more story, more of me, more of, you know, things I've struggled with. Loneliness, self worth, grief, and really tell it in my way. Like, I Remember doing it, and I was just like. I felt so naked. And I think there's something, like, in cabaret. And a lot of things when people talk about their experiences can feel a little masturbatory in a way. But I felt like. I just felt like what I was doing was trying to just tell a human story, not, like, exploit myself. You know what I mean? And people write me, and I was like, I'm not the only one that feels this exact kind of way.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Is that incredible?

[Bridget Everett]

And it feels. I feel so lucky that I got to do something and express it the exact way I wanted to.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And also, Murray. Murray Hill, you know, a character living in that.

[Bridget Everett]

Another guy.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, just another guy.

[Bridget Everett]

He gave this speech the other night. I'll have to send it to you or post it or something. But, like, he just. Yeah. So Murray got up and talked about how it was such an incredible experience for him to just play a guy, you know, like a trans man living in America, living in a small town. And not about his pain or his whatever, just him. Him being. And, you know, I feel like Murray spends a lot of his time just walking into a room, and sometimes he has to sort of change people's hearts and minds, you know, and he never stops every day. He just always shows up. He's always an ambassador for his community. And I can't imagine how exhausting that might be. So for him to do it on this kind of scale is because you can't help but love him.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, he's the greatest. He's so great.

[Bridget Everett]

I mean, we drive each other crazy and everything, but he's my. He's my brother.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I also want to say this, and I hope it's not too gross, but there's a scene that really moved me. When you go to your sister's grave and there's just this plastic little sign there, like, your mom hadn't ordered the gravestone yet. She didn't want to deal with it. You thought she'd dealt with it. She hadn't dealt with it. No one in the family really wants to deal with this. Your sister's passing. And it's just this really sad. It's a sad and funny moment because it's like you're like, oh, for fuck's sake. Like, really, Mom? But, you know, it's also sad because it's like this person's life is being marked by a tiny little plastic.

[Bridget Everett]

But I think what it's supposed to. You know, what it's supposed to represent is that this is a family that doesn't talk about it. They don't deal with it. It's just like. And that is parallel to my own family's experience. Never really talked about my sister. The only way that we talk about my dad or my sister, my mom, at this point is, like, joking. And that's just the way that we handle things. So through the show, it's been kind of nice to actually face some real grief.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Well, what I wanted to say is it's like you almost. It's like you gave your sister the most impressive. Your real sister passed away the most impressive. Because this show, I think, acts as a bit of a marker for her life. And it's in a really beautiful way, in a very nuanced way that most people don't get to be remembered by.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah, most of us just sort of fade away. And, you know, and. And there's another scene in this last season that was also sort of dealing with when you stop thinking about him every day. And the, you know, like, I can still hear my mom's laugh, like, very clearly. I have a lot of videos and stuff, but with my sister, it was, like, kind of before the phone and the videos and whatever. And so I have to kind of remember that. And when that's the. When the memory of them starts to slip away, it's like. That's almost as bad as, like, when you lose it in the beginning. But, you know, I know it's. The grief is a little fresh for you right now, but.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Well, yeah, I mean, I was just gonna say. I was like, I. You know, I've been in my mom's apartment sort of cleaning out stuff and, you know, making those hard decisions about, like, what to donate, what to try and keep, and what to deal with later. And, you know, it is hard. And I'm so grateful that, you know, I have memories of her. And we do have photos and voice memos, and I've saved all that stuff. But it's almost comforting to know that that grief doesn't go away, because I feel. I don't know, I think it was with Andrew Garfield, who was talking about his mom who had passed, and he was saying, that feeling of grief is the love that I had for her. That's what's reminding me of the love I had for her. And so I do feel like there is comfort in grieving, if you can look at it that way.

[Bridget Everett]

I agree with that. I feel like. And I feel like, you know, I don't know where you are in it, but I feel like it's so nice to be able to talk to other people that are in a similar position. It just feels. Even if it's not family, whoever it is. Like, sometimes. I was talking to Jeffrey Richmond. I hope he doesn't mind me telling.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You this, but he loves being talked about.

[Bridget Everett]

But, you know, he's a producer and writer on Modern Family, and we're also friends, and he. His mom passed away recently, and he said something. I was like. He's like, there's nobody that will ever look at me again the way that she did. You know, the way that. Like, that's the way I felt about my mom was like, I was her favorite person. You know what I mean? And when she died, that was, like, the hardest thing for me. I was like, nobody's ever gonna look at me like that again. But I still feel it. Like, you think you lose it. You think it's gone now, but it's. I always feel it. Like, I was in the. Oh, Jesus. I was. Jesus Christ. I was in the room at the finale, and I was like, she's looking at me. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't go away.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. So anyway, my mom, when she was deciding to go onto hospice, and it was gonna be like morphine and all this stuff, and, you know, they were explaining to her, like, you're gonna sleep a lot, and you're not gonna be as present. And. And my mom looked at us, and she goes, do you guys think I'm being selfish? And we're like, no, this is what you feel like you need to do. And then she looked at us. Me and my. I happened to be with my siblings, and we were all together, and we're never all together. We happen to all be together for this conversation. And she looked at us and very plainly just said, I'm gonna miss you, kids. And, like, she looked at us in such a. Like, it was just a really simple way. And that was. I think about that all the time, but when you're talking about the way your parents look at you, it's like the way she looked at us and, like, really saw us, and, like, the only way a mother that a mother can look at her children and just in her own way, said, I'm gonna miss this as well. It was just. And I'm glad we all were there for that. Yeah. Yeah. Grief is hard.

[Bridget Everett]

It's real hard.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's a long, lonely road.

[Bridget Everett]

It is. But there's a lot of, you know, a lot of laughter and a lot of ways to keep working through it. This is so Fucked up. This is. But my brother had my mom's ashes. And they're like. I'm like, well, do you want them? No, give them to Bridget. You know, she's a favorite. And I was like, yeah, I should have him. I was the favorite. But I was like, I don't think you can fly with them. So. So right now she is on a cross country road trip in the back of a pod.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

We cannot fly with them.

[Bridget Everett]

I didn't know that. No, I didn't think so. So I put her in this pod, which is with all her other belongings, like her silver and her silver china and stuff. And so they're like, you put your mom in a pod? And I was like, she's fine.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Bridget Everett]

Yeah, she would love it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

She's like you. She likes to be left alone.

[Bridget Everett]

She likes to be left alone.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's so funny. I love that. I am so happy you did this.

[Bridget Everett]

Thank you for having me. It's really.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I really adore you and I haven't seen you in so long.

[Bridget Everett]

I know.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's been a really long time.

[Bridget Everett]

We'll have to get on the short list for one of those Michael Patrick King dinner parties.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

She wants to throw it in our honor. This episode of Dinners On Me was recorded at Salt's Cure in Hollywood, California. Next week on Dinners On Me, you know her from films like Titanic, Misery, and her latest foray as leading lady of a network television series, playing Matlock in the Paramount reboot, Matlock, it's Kathy Bates. We'll get into what it was like winning an Oscar right out of the gate in Misery, How Ryan Murphy reignited her career and that one dream she had about Meryl Streep. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me. Plus, as a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click Try free at the top of the Dinners on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinner is on Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Angela Vang. Sam Baer engineered this episode, Hansdale. She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sami Allison. Special thanks to Tameka Balance Kolasny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse. Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.