Luke MacFarlane — on fixing broken things and being ‘dada’ to Tess

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson"
Episode: Luke MacFarlane — on fixing broken things and being ‘dada’ to Tess
Release Date: May 13, 2025

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Introduction and Friendship Origins

Jesse Tyler Ferguson welcomes listeners to an intimate episode of Dinner’s on Me featuring longtime friend and talented actor Luke MacFarlane. Jesse reminisces about their deep-rooted friendship that spans over two decades, tracing back to their early days together in Christopher Shinn's play "Where Do We Live?" at the Vineyard Theater in 2003.

Jesse (03:22): "We met in, I want to say, 2003. We were fresh face, 20-somethings cast together in Christopher Shinn's play."

Their bond was cemented through shared dreams and aspirations, despite Luke's subsequent move to Los Angeles for a television opportunity. The friendship endured as Jesse later relocated west, with Luke being among the first to be contacted.

Career Journeys and Growth

The conversation delves into Luke's remarkable career trajectory, highlighting his versatile roles in both theater and television. Jesse expresses pride in Luke's evolution not just as an artist but also as a dedicated father.

Jesse (04:15): "What's meant the most is watching him grow. Not just as an artist, but as a human and now as a dad."

Luke shares insights into his role as a lead in Hallmark's Home is Where the Heart Is, emphasizing his passion for woodworking and home renovation—a passion that seamlessly integrates into his professional endeavors.

Parenthood and Family Dynamics

A significant portion of their discussion centers around parenthood. Jesse and Luke compare their experiences raising sons, Sully and Tess, respectively. They laugh over their children's adorable attempts at language and the playful dynamics of naming parental roles.

Luke (24:00): "She started calling me Dada."

Jesse (25:31): "I was like, why did you have to share that? And...but they have to."

Their shared journey into fatherhood strengthens their bond, allowing them to find common ground in navigating the joys and challenges of raising young children amidst their busy careers.

Renovation Passion and Woodworking

Luke passionately discusses his love for home renovation and woodworking. He recounts the transformation of his Craftsman home in Los Angeles, a project that reflects his dedication to craftsmanship and design.

Luke (34:11): "I built something specific because I also think I kind of wanted to leave everybody with something that I actually really built."

Jesse appreciates Luke's hands-on approach, recalling moments where Luke's meticulous nature shines through, both professionally and personally.

Jesse (43:22): "The weights you lift are a tad heavier than mine, but there was a little shelf in the gym that was maybe a little crooked or a little wobbly. And you came in, your eye went right to it. The next day, you came in with your toolbox. You fixed it for them."

Coming Out and Industry Reflections

The conversation takes a poignant turn as Luke shares his experience of coming out during his early acting career. He reflects on the challenges and mental health aspects associated with being open about his sexuality in the entertainment industry.

Luke (48:35): "I really do think I was just trying to do it for my mental health."

Jesse relates by sharing his own journey of acceptance and the impact of portraying gay characters on Modern Family. They discuss the evolving landscape of the entertainment industry, noting increased acceptance and representation for queer actors.

Jesse (49:35): "I'm really glad that I started a lot of conversations or got to be part of starting conversations."

Their dialogue underscores the importance of authenticity and the positive changes occurring within the industry, fostering a more inclusive environment for future generations.

Future Endeavors and Closing Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Jesse expresses heartfelt gratitude for Luke's enduring friendship and the shared experiences that have enriched both their lives. They look forward to Luke's upcoming home renovation show, celebrating the blend of his creative passions with his professional work.

Jesse (54:01): "I am so grateful to have you in my life. I'm so happy that we have this friendship."

Luke (54:47): "No, Jesse, the exact same to you as well. I don't have a ton of really super close actor friends, too, so it's really nice to know somebody for a long time."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jesse on Early Friendship:
  "We met in, I want to say, 2003. We were fresh face, 20-somethings cast together in Christopher Shinn's play."
  [03:22]

• Jesse on Watching Luke Grow:
  "What's meant the most is watching him grow. Not just as an artist, but as a human and now as a dad."
  [04:15]

• Luke on DIY Passion:
  "I built something specific because I also think I kind of wanted to leave everybody with something that I actually really built."
  [34:11]

• Jesse on Friendship and Fatherhood:
  "I am so grateful to have you in my life. I'm so happy that we have this friendship."
  [54:01]

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Conclusion

This episode of Dinner’s on Me offers a heartfelt exploration of friendship, personal growth, and the intertwining of professional passions with family life. Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Luke MacFarlane share candid conversations that highlight their enduring bond, mutual support, and the shared journey of navigating love, career, and parenthood in the ever-evolving landscape of the entertainment industry.

Transcript

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

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[Luke McFarlane]

But I've known you so long that we used to exchange VHS tapes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's right, that's right. Back when people used to use VHS tapes.

[Luke McFarlane]

That's right.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

We don't have to say anything more about that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Nope. We just exchanged VHS tapes. And you can draw your own conclusions.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yes, we can.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

This is Dinner's on Me. And I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I have made a lot of friends being in this business, but few friendships go as far back and as deep as the one I have with Luke McFarlane. We met in, I want to say, 2003. We were fresh face, 20 somethings cast together in Christopher Shinn's play Where Do We Live? At the Vineyard Theater. We were in a new play in a new city with new dreams, and Luke and I were all in. We were sharing a tiny dressing room and big hopes for the future. And soon after the play, Luke moved to Los Angeles for a TV job. But whatever bond we built under off Broadway stage lights stuck. When I eventually made my way back west, Luke was one of the first people I called. I'm pretty sure that my first meal in Los Angeles was with him. At El Compadre, no less. The same spot where I later recorded a Dinner's on Me episode with Nolan Gould. Full circle moment, anyone? Luke's career has soared in the most incredible ways. But what's meant the most is watching him grow. Not just as an artist, but as a human and now as a dad. A few months ago, we grabbed breakfast with our kids and, you know, once upon a time we'd meet for beers after a curtain call of the show and talk about the cute guy in the front row. Now we're meeting and talking about picky eaters and pediatricians. His daughter Tess is just a few months younger than my son Sully. And seeing them play while we sip coffee feels like a beautiful, chaotic continuation of a friendship that's grown up right alongside us. And Luke isn't just a great actor. He's basically a handsome Canadian Swiss army Knife. The man renovated his own house, which he now shares with his partner Hig and their adorable daughter Tess. And oh, oh. And when my son Beckett was born, Luke built his crib, like with tools from wood. My younger son Sullivan's now sleeping in it, so it's officially become a family heirloom. Thanks, Uncle Luke. I've been saying for years that he needs a show about woodworking and giving back. So, no, I can't take credit for his new show, home is where the heart is. But I can say I saw it coming. I'm just so proud to see him building something beautiful. As always.

[Luke McFarlane]

Hi.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Hi.

[Luke McFarlane]

Good to see you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I brought Luke to Kazan in Beverly Hills, a Michelin guide gym founded by noodle aficionado Ryu Esobe. It just so happened to have been one of those rare, moody, rainy days in Los Angeles. Yes, they do happen here. And there's honestly no better excuse to dive into a warm bowl of ramen. Known for his devotion to handcrafted noodles and meticulously balanced broths, Esobe has turned Kazan into a sanctuary for ramen lovers. Each bowl of ramen at Kazan is a little masterpiece anchored by their house made noodles. But as good as the ramen was, the real soul warmer was catching up with Luke. Listen, we've been friends for about 20 years now, and I love any excuse to spend time with him. Okay, let's get to the conversation. Last time we had dinner together, do you remember?

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah. We went to Benihana with Benihana.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And was it relaxing?

[Luke McFarlane]

Well, I feel like I needed to communicate. You know, it's a Saturday, you're busy with a kid, and like, Justin sent me a text. He's like, meet us out for dinner. I was like, yep. Yeah, I didn't read the text until I pulled up and I was like, it's Benihana. I'm bringing an 18 month year old to Benihana. But it was just.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The cook's perfect. Tested great.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah, she's a lot. There's like a very hot, dangerous thing.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, we're sitting around a literal stove.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

By the way, because I didn't read the text that said we're going to Benihana. Justin had written, it's very theatrical. So in my head I was like, oh, we're going to like a Rainforest Cafe type place, so.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, you did. You did see on the text about today that this is a podcast that we're recording, right?

[Luke McFarlane]

Oh, yes. Okay, good. Absolutely.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, I missed that part. I thought I was just having lunch.

[Luke McFarlane]

Why are there microphones here? I totally missed that part. Oh, I. And why are these people here?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, my God. I'm so happy we're finally doing this.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah. Really? Thank you for having me. I'm. I'm excited.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Look at this photo I found of the two of us. I was just. I was just looking up pictures of us.

[Luke McFarlane]

It's gonna make me nervous.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, you're gonna love this.

[Luke McFarlane]

No, it's so funny.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Look at this. Oh, my. Look.

[Luke McFarlane]

Oh, my God.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

God.

[Luke McFarlane]

Oh, my.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

20, 25.

[Luke McFarlane]

That's actually a really.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's a really sweet picture.

[Luke McFarlane]

You have to show that to me. I've known you so long that we used to exchange VHS tapes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's right.

[Luke McFarlane]

That's right. Back when people used.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's right.

[Luke McFarlane]

That's right. That's right.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

We don't have to say anything more about that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No. People just exchange VHS tapes and you can draw your own conclusions.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yes, we can.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But no, I was just. Yeah, it's been 20. I was looking where do we live? Which is a play we met on. Yes. So it's been. This is our 21st year knowing one another. Wow. I know.

[Luke McFarlane]

It's also crazy because that seems like yesterday, like, that first rehearsal. I have such vivid memories of that rehearsal process.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, me too.

[Luke McFarlane]

Going through it also, I think there's something about those, like, early experiences where you really do feel, fuse and bond together in a different kind of way.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Absolutely. Hi. Come on.

[C]

Hi, guys. Welcome to Kazan.

[Luke McFarlane]

Hi.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Thank you.

[C]

So happy to have you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

We've uploaded our menus to our phones.

[Luke McFarlane]

I like to hear what.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But I do want to hear what some of your specials are.

[C]

So we're known for our noodles. We make them all in house. That's our specialty. So from the entrees, we have soba dishes. Those all have chicken broth, and we put truffle in them. So it's a more fusion style. I would recommend definitely trying the signature number one. That's our first original dish.

[Luke McFarlane]

Okay.

[C]

So it comes with our homemade thin noodles, truffle chicken broth, and it's topped with chashu. That's slow cooked, made in house. And also handmade wontons.

[Luke McFarlane]

Beautiful.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That sounds incredible.

[Luke McFarlane]

It also looks beautiful.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Can we get some of the small things too, before?

[C]

Oh, yeah, the appetizers. So the wings are really amazing. I recommend the sake crispy wings. Also. Our salads are awesome. I love the Kazan salad.

[Luke McFarlane]

Can we do some, like, sharing?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Yes, totally.

[Luke McFarlane]

Tell me about. Is this cashew supreme the future of chicken broth? What is this?

[C]

So that one is a truffle chicken broth with our soy flavor added. It has a little bit of sliced chili, and then served with a soft boiled egg and pork chop. I really recommend that one as well. It's very similar to the signature.

[Luke McFarlane]

I see. Okay.

[C]

But comes with the egg.

[Luke McFarlane]

Comes with the egg. I see a hard boiled egg. And I'm always just excited.

[C]

And we also have ramen dishes, which. Those are more traditional. They have tonkatsu pork broth. No truffle.

[Luke McFarlane]

I feel like something without truffle bite. Just to have a different.

[C]

Yeah, you can always get, like, one of each broth and share as much.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Maybe I'll try your signature number one.

[Luke McFarlane]

And I'll do the.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Do you want to do the ramen?

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah, I was the. Leah. Leah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Lei.

[Luke McFarlane]

Lei. Sorry. Lei ramen.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And do you want to try the lotus root chips? Yes, I want to try those lotus root chips.

[C]

Lotus root chips.

[Luke McFarlane]

Okay, great. Done.

[C]

Okay, perfect. We'll get that all started for you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Thank you so much. But that was such a special time. You had just graduated from Juilliard, I feel like months earlier.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You know, right out of school and, like, getting a pretty prominent lead role in a, you know, high profile off Broadway play at the Vineyard, I'm sure was absolutely.

[Luke McFarlane]

That was. Yeah, you're. You're making yourself as a professional actor. But there's also that element of. It was like the first time my family was going to kind of come and see me, you know, and I remember very clearly my dad coming. You know, you've just gone to Juilliard. You're excited, and he watches a, you know, an intense.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It was a pretty intense play.

[Luke McFarlane]

It was an intense play. It was beautiful and meaningful and kind of the dialogue was very sort of naturalistic and.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Well, and also for your first play, first time being on stage, there was. It was asking a lot of you as an actor. And, you know, there was a lot of sex and nudity.

[Luke McFarlane]

Simulated drug use. Yeah. Smoking and stuff.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I remember we did cocaine on stage, and we actually smoked snorted powdered milk.

[Luke McFarlane]

Good heavens.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And I was like, I don't know if that was necessary. I don't think, like, anyone was close enough to actually see the powder go up our nose. But I remember giving myself, like, basically a yeast infection in my nose because I had. Was snorting so much powdered milk.

[Luke McFarlane]

Oh, my gosh. My character was a cigarette smoker, so I was like, I'm gonna smoke. Smoke cigarettes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You had already been smoking cigarettes, right?

[Luke McFarlane]

No, I had never Was that the first time you smoked in high school? I never. Never smoked. And then I was like, yeah, I got to do this. And I specifically remember, like, two weeks into, like, getting into character, going like, whoa, cigarettes are very addicting. Yeah, yeah. Turns out, yeah. Yeah. It took me a long time to quit.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Well, first of all, like, what did your parents think about that play when they came to see it? Because I don't think my parents actually saw that one.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah. My dad, I think, was in a little bit of shock in a way that I didn't entirely anticipate. And he was very concerned about my character's behavior. And he asked.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

He was.

[Luke McFarlane]

Because my character in the play, if you remember, has kind of a one night stand with a guy that, you know, is a little bit transactional. It's not very loving. My dad was really concerned about that character that I had the one night stand stand with. So it was a really revealing, I think, aspect of my dad. He's a very caring guy.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

At this point in in your life, you. You've been out to your parents?

[Luke McFarlane]

Absolutely.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Okay.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah. Yeah. I came out in my second year at Juilliard.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Okay.

[Luke McFarlane]

Came home for Christmas, told mom and dad. So they knew, and they knew about the play. They're always very open, and they're always super encouraging of any artistic pursuits.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So, I mean, it's, you know, it's. It was an intense play. And also, I know, like, my family, they went through their own process with me being gay. And, you know, my dad even asked me, you know, while I was doing Modern Family. He's like, I just don't always understand why you have to play so many gay parts. And it opened up a whole conversation between the two of us and started at a whole other level of our relationship because I had to sort of explain to him why it was important for me to play this role because socially, I wanted to be able to portray a gay man on television. And I felt like it was gonna do wonderful things for the marriage equality movement, which it did. But, you know, it was one thing for him to accept. Accept me being gay quietly, but it was another thing for me then to be doing that on a major network television show.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And there are steps of acceptance and.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So I just. I can imagine that for your parents, you know, come to see their. Their kid in his first, you know, professional job, and it's like, there's onstage sex and there's like, you know, it's a lot.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah, it is, totally. And, you know, it's a generational thing, too. There was, I think, similarly to your dad, who's like, I have no problem with it, but it's nobody's business and you don't need to talk about it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right.

[Luke McFarlane]

Which I think was the sort of way, you know, my dad's generation, for sure.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And it's also something I think my parents. I'm sure your parents were the same way. You know, their careers didn't beg for us to be so open with ourselves. And, you know, even I'm still learning how to open up in ways like I still, you know, have to keep parts of myself private. But yet, you know, we're expected in this industry to go on talk shows and talk about our personal life and to, you know, expose parts of ourselves for roles. And, you know, it's something that I think for my dad specifically, was it's still a hard thing for him to understand. You know, if I go on a talk show and tell a story about the family, it's like, why did you have to share that? And, you know, I was like, well, because it's a charming story about my life, and, like, I'm just sharing a little bit of myself with people who want to know something about me.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And it's tricky.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah, it's totally tricky. We have a weird job.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's a very strange job.

[Luke McFarlane]

It's a strange job.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Specifically after I did a play with Martha Plimpton. She's like, basically what we do is, like, go on stage, speak loudly, and wear dead people's hair.

[Luke McFarlane]

It's so true.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Wear wigs.

[Luke McFarlane]

It's so true.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Luke opens up about his life as a new dad. And we hear how his toddler, Tess, prefers to call her D Ads. Okay, be right back. All right, let's talk about something near and dear to my heart. Building the perfect sandwich. And yes, yes, I take this very seriously. Step one, you need a great bread. Fresh, crusty, Something with character. Step two, Boar's Head Oven Gold Turkey, always. It's juicy, it's flavorful. It's the backbone of this operation. Step three, a few slices of Boar's Head Smoke Master Ham, because I like to mix it up. It adds a slow smoked beechwood flavor that makes your taste buds just, you know, do a little dance. Step four, cheese, sharp cheddar if I'm feeling bold. Creamy Swiss if I'm feeling fancy. Step five, a swipe of Dijon crisp lettuce, thin sliced tomato, and maybe a pickle or Two, you know, for drama, layer it all up, cut it in half diagonally, obviously, and you got a sandwich that's perfectly crafted. Thanks to Boar's Head. Every bite tastes like it was made with care. Because it was. So if you're ready to level up your sandwich game, trust me, start at the deli counter. Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at your local Boar's Head deli counter. Boar's Head committed to crafts since 1905. Between traveling to record dinners on me. Whether it's a sit down in LA or takeout in Salt Lake City, I'm away from home a lot these days. And as someone who's a little type A about safety, I finally decided to upgrade our home security. Especially after reading that break ins are more likely to happen during the day than at night. Yeah, that little FBI fact really got me. So I got Simplisafe and I went all in with the Elite package, also known as the Beacon. It's their most comprehensive system. Cameras, sensors, smart locks, the whole thing. I set it up quickly and now when I'm off recording with a guest, I know my home is being watched over. Simplisafe's monitoring agents can spot trouble, talk through the camera flash spotlights, even call the police before someone gets inside. No long term contracts, no hidden fees, and monitoring starts at just about a dollar a day. Plus there's a 60 day money back guarantee. Visit simplisafe.com Jesse to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. That's SimpliSafe.com Jesse S I M P L-I S A F E.com Jesse S. There's no safe like simply safe. And we're back with more dinners on me. First of all, I'm so grateful that you came into my life when you did because we have remained extremely close. But also there was a point when you moved to la and I was like, oh, I don't know if I'm going to see you as much. And we did a pretty good job of staying in touch. You know, you got really exciting theater work and film work pretty soon after we did the play together. And I was excited for you to move to la. I was really sad because I was like, you know, it's hard when you're that age to find relationships that are meaningful and feel real in this business.

[Luke McFarlane]

To people that are sort of on a similar track.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, you meet a lot of people, but there's not a ton of people like, oh, that's gonna Be a lifer for me. And I felt like, oh, Luke is. I feel like a real connection with him.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And so I was so happy that, you know, after you moved to la, we were able to maintain a friendship. And then eventually I joined you out here and you were, like, the first person that I contacted and you were taking me out to. To dinners and I was meeting your friends, and so I met Michael Urie for the first time. Yeah, absolutely.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, we were just talking about that.

[Luke McFarlane]

I. Yes, he was just. Yes, the podcast. He. He was a classmate of mine, so I've known Michael a very long time as well. I remember when I first made out there, because you made me a cd.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Did I?

[Luke McFarlane]

Yes, you burned me a cd and the music I was listening to at that time was like soup. John Stevens.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Salad time. Thank you. This looks gorgeous.

[Luke McFarlane]

Thank you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Thanks so much.

[Luke McFarlane]

I don't know if you remember this, but I was filming Brothers and Sisters when you came and did your network test for. All right, I remember.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

For Modern Family. For the Modern Family, yeah. I remember coming over to visit your set.

[Luke McFarlane]

I do. And I remember that was right before you went in and.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's right, I came to visit the set.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And you introduced me to Sally Field. It was the first time I met Sally Field. You're like, my friends just tested for a sitcom and everyone's like, oh, yeah, well.

[Luke McFarlane]

And turns out that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Turns out it went pretty well 11 years later. Yeah, yeah, that's right. I mean, I know for me, moving out to la, having, you know, done only theater.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah. I think my feeling about LA was always like, oh, it's an inevitability. It's where you have to go eventually. But never convinced myself that I was going to stay.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, Neither, you know, I just have. Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah. But I've really come to love this place. I think there's so many aspects of myself, and specifically as it comes to building and design and woodworking, that LA had. Had become the place where I. I want to be. And I can explore those things a little more easily than I know I'd be able to do in New York. So.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

But, yeah, it took some time. My partner Haig, is still not convinced that L. A is where he wants to be.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, I get it. I totally agree with Hag, and I'm.

[Luke McFarlane]

Always, you know, you know, I was like, patience, like, L. A takes a long time to sort of reveal itself to you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

When you first met hig, yeah. You were already in the process of wanting to have a kid.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah, it's hard, like. And I sort of. This is very meta, but I sort of always want. Protect Higgin that. Yeah. In this conversation, because for sure, I knew I wanted to have a kid for a very, very long time. And when I met Hig, I let him know that, so it kind of moved his timeline forward. But I'll tell you something. When you're getting to know somebody and you let them know pretty clearly right off the bat, this is important to me.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

It's a pretty quick way of finding out if they're interested in that. And he immediately was family, and being a parent was something that he also wanted to do. So, yeah, the timeline happened probably faster than most people's. You know, I don't know how long you. And I can't remember how long you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, Justin and I would always say he wanted to do five years of being married.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And we had already been together for three. Three years at that point. So then he. He wants to just be married for five years before we even thought about having kids. And it was like, after five years, I was like, justin, remember, like, we got to start this. I'm getting old, and I really wanted to be a not. I wanted to be a dad that was young enough to, like, be able to do things with my kids.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And, you know, I was kind of wanted. I knew I wanted two kids, and so I thought, if we don't start this soon, first of all, I might not get to have two children. But I also just. I might just feel like I've started too late. But, you know, I'm really glad that we did have those five years of just being married.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I feel like a lot of things happen in that time. Oh, my gosh.

[Luke McFarlane]

We've done amazing things together.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. No, for sure. I mean, how has it been watching someone. You. Because for me, like, half of the joy of parenthood is watching Justin become a dad and seeing how the kids connect with him. How has it been with Hig, like, with your different styles of parenting?

[Luke McFarlane]

He's gonna get. He's gonna get upset when I tell this story. We were very sort of, like, open about, like, we're gonna let Tess figure out who she's gonna call dada and who she's gonna call papa. We didn't kind of make that decision, which, in hindsight, was. We both wanted to be dada. We did want to say it is.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The better of the two. And I'm saying that, as a pop on, Justin got the better of the two.

[Luke McFarlane]

Well, it was really funny because, like, I didn't want to commit to it. He didn't want to commit to it. Like, she'll tell us, which is really not the way it works.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

She doesn't even know how to speak.

[Luke McFarlane]

Exactly.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

She doesn't know how to drink water yet.

[Luke McFarlane]

She started calling me Dada.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You were so happy.

[Luke McFarlane]

I know. And I was like, well, you know, that's what Daz did. And she is calling Hig. Hig.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So is such a cute name. It is easy to say.

[Luke McFarlane]

Fun to say. It's a fun name to say. And that's why. And she says it with, like, so much love.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Of course.

[Luke McFarlane]

So we're. We're working on Papa Hig, Papa Hay. You know, which I think is actually adorable.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Totally. No, Becca instantly call me Papa and now I love it. But at the beginning I was like, I don't know about that. And now Justin's doing the thing where he's calling me Papa, which I'm like, I don't know if I like this wrinkle.

[Luke McFarlane]

But I don't know. But like, when do we come up with these associations? Like, why is Papa.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

I always think of Papa as like, kind of like a grandpa German, kind of gray bearded, for sure.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You know the story about when I was. I don't know if I've ever told this on the podcast when I. So, okay. When Sully was about to be born, I realized we needed a second set of like, Diaper Genies, new small diapers and all this stuff. So I did a big Target run and I'm loading up, you know, my stuff onto the. The checkout counter, and the woman who's checking me out, she goes, oh, my goodness. Is this your first grandkid?

[Luke McFarlane]

No.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And I started crying.

[Luke McFarlane]

Oh.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I said, well, I started crying. I said, why? Why would you assume it's my. I'm. It's a grandkid. And she immediately felt terrible.

[Luke McFarlane]

Oh.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But it was like the very beginning of her checking me out. So it was like, I'm so sorry. But she's like scanning things and she's like, for like, literally the next seven minutes, she was just apologizing to me and I was trying to make her feel, oh, that is. Feel better.

[Luke McFarlane]

That's a good scene. I really like that scene.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It is. It felt like something out of a. Out of a sitcom or like, you know, Curb youb Enthusiasm or something. Like, I was like, can't believe. And I really was upset. And I came home and I told Justin, and then he was making Me feel better. He's like, well, you know, I mean, you're wearing a hat and your beard's a little gray right now. Look how brown it is right now, by the way. So brown on. Hi.

[C]

Hi. So first up is the signature number one. Okay, just a reminder. This is the truffle based chicken broth with soy flavor added. It has our homemade thin noodle wons with pork and shrimp inside and then two slices of chashu.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Okay, got it.

[C]

We have one more coming, so I'll bring extra bowls.

[Luke McFarlane]

Thank you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I was going to say something else funny that's happened when you're talking about Hig being called Higgins. Justin's mom was over, and Justin's dad calls my mother in law honey. Hey, honey. Hey, honey. And so Beckett the other day was trying to get grandma's attention. He's like, hey, honey. And just started calling her honey, which is really cute.

[Luke McFarlane]

You want to top off, honey? He's like, pouring coffee.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Honey, can you help me with this Lego? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

That's really sweet.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Okay, here's a couple of eggs.

[Luke McFarlane]

Oh, nice. Thank you. I love a hard boiled egg.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So, speaking of, you know, I begin.

[Luke McFarlane]

What? Go ahead, begin. Every day with six hard boiled eggs.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Six?

[Luke McFarlane]

Six hard boiled eggs. I've been doing that for years.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Farts are unacceptable. Truly.

[Luke McFarlane]

How do you know that?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Because I've been around you and you've had to pass gas.

[C]

Okay, we have our last entree. This is the Lei ramen. So it's a spicy pork broth with mixed onions on top. Pork chashu. And again, our homemade thin noodles.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

They look delicious.

[C]

Enjoy.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, we get into Luke's love for craftsmanship and how it even followed him into the labor and delivery room when Tess was being born. And we talk about getting married to men on network television before it was even legal. Okay, be right back. So picture this. You're running a business, and suddenly you realize, oh, no, you need to hire someone. Like yesterday. You've been there, right? But don't panic. I got you covered. Just use Indeed. Why waste time on other job sites hoping someone notices your post? Indeed's Sponsored Jobs helps you stand out and hire the right person and fast. Here's how it works. Sponsored Jobs bumps your post to the top of the page for all the right candidates. That gets your post in front of the eyes of the people you actually want to hire. Indeed just makes hiring so much easier. I remember a time when finding the right person felt like A full time job in itself. If only I'd used Indeed back then, I could have avoided so much stress and maybe even found time to, I don't know, go to cooking school. Oh, and also, there's no strings attached. With Indeed sponsored jobs, there are no monthly subscriptions or long term contracts. You only pay for results. Want to know how fast they are? In the time it's taken me to tell you this, 23 hires were made on Indeed. 23. Yeah. That's pretty impressive. There's no need to wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. So I'm here in London, knee deep in rehearsals for Here We Are at the National Theater, the late, great Stephen Sondheim's final musical. And it's been an incredible experience so far. But between the long days of learning lyrics and blocking scenes, I've come to appreciate a good system that makes everything run smoothly. Like Airbnb's co hosting feature. Now, if you're a host and you're juggling life like I am right now, a local co host can handle the details while you focus on your big projects. They can manage guest communication, check ins, and everything in between. So whether you're hosting while traveling or simply need some help, you can rest easy knowing someone reliable is looking after your place. And the best part, these co hosts are local pros who know your area inside and out, ensuring your guests have an unforgettable stay. And you can focus on what matters most. So whether you're looking to host or need a hand while you're away, find a co [e-mail] host and we're back with more dinners on me. I still cannot believe that you made the most beautiful crib for Beckett and now slowly sleeping in it.

[Luke McFarlane]

Oh, that makes me really happy.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So beautiful. Thank you. You know, you made it, obviously, before you had Tess. And I remember you saying, if I ever have a daughter, I might take it back. I was like, absolutely. And then of course, you're like, no, I want to make her new one. And so you made Tess a new crib.

[Luke McFarlane]

I did.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And I just remember, you know, Tess had arrived and she was in a little bassinet for a while, and you were running very behind on this crib. And I was like, at some point, you're going to need to create a crib for your child. Yes, there's a now a timeline. I was like, do you want your crib back that you made for us?

[Luke McFarlane]

That's very sweet of you for. I think it was also like, I just wanted to go through that process. But, yes. Tess wasn't in her. She was in the bassinet for almost six months. She was a big baby. Silly. What kind of.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I feel like she was quickly outgrowing that.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we got it done. She's very happy in her crib. I remember, I remember you telling me that Beckett, when he got a bed, finally, that he was sad to leave the crib. That made me very happy.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That he enjoyed, in fact, when Sully finally. Because in the next, like, six months or so, he's probably gonna be out of his crib. Like, I don't. I don't know what. It's not the type of crib that I can just.

[Luke McFarlane]

You give it to me. Give it it to somebody else.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's so beautiful. And it's. It's has a Shakespeare quote carved into it.

[Luke McFarlane]

Oh, my gosh. It does. That's right.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Gorgeous. It's not like a quib that you can just hand to someone. It has to be someone very special.

[Luke McFarlane]

Give it to somebody. I, I, I, I love that I.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Have to give it to, like, someone who's, like, going to birth the second coming of Christ.

[Luke McFarlane]

Like, oh, wow, Mary.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. And, you know, Justin and I had always been saying, luke, you have to do some sort of a home reno show or a woodworking show. I mean, you, you also. Let me just back up a little bit. I was with you when you went to go look at the house that you now live in, and you were, like, you know, wanting friends, opinions about this new house you were about to buy. And let me tell you what, it was a shitbox. And I was like, I don't understand how you're seeing something in this place. I mean, it had incredible bones. It is this beautiful Craftsman home. And you could see that there was potential for something beautiful there. But, I mean, it was under a lot of wear and tear and a lot of abuse. I don't know. It felt like it had been through a lot. I remember carpet glued down to the front patio.

[Luke McFarlane]

I still laugh. I remember you stepped up onto the front patio, and they had this horrible green 1960s carpet glued to it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Glued.

[Luke McFarlane]

And also it was ripped in places, so they had duct tape.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It was, like, duct taped. That's right.

[Luke McFarlane]

But I remember you looking at me and going, are you gonna keep the duct tape?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

I still think about that, but I just.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I was like, I just saw such a huge project, and obviously that's what you saw too, and you loved that challenge. And what you did to that house, I mean, obviously you had to bring some people in to help with some special specialty stuff, but you really. You did.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So much of that work.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, your fingerprints are all over that renovation. And it is such a beautiful home. And I just. Knowing that you have this potential and obviously seeing, you know, your love of woodworking sort of blossom with these projects. You know, I remember. I think the first thing you made was a rocking chair, right? Yes.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So, you know, Justin, I realized you have to. There has to be something that you do in the renovation space or the woodworking space. And I'm so excited that now that finally exists.

[Luke McFarlane]

I really appreciate that. And I remember specifically the first time you brought it up to me, I remember, like, Justin saying, you have to do something with this, like. And I think you can relate to this, though, too, being somebody that also sort of, you know, has your side passions with food and. Is it sometimes hard as an actor to figure out what that balance is going to be about?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Absolutely.

[Luke McFarlane]

The things that you do for fun and the things that you do as an actor and how to.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

For yourself.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah, and for yourself. And how to balance all that stuff.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Out and the interesting way that those two things can overlap, I think eventually.

[Luke McFarlane]

Once you sort of figure it out and what. Maybe you have a little bit more understanding about where your career is and how you're seen and understood, and maybe just confident about the fact that, like, I'm gonna be an actor, it's. It's okay, this. But going back to, like, the house, I. Ever since I was a kid, I don't know what this says about me. I'm sure something very psychedelic, technological. But I remember driving home and we used to pass this wreck of a house on my drive home from, like, grade school as a kid. And I used to say to my mom and dad, that's my dream house. And they're like, what?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, wow.

[Luke McFarlane]

And I think it was because it was broken and it needed to be fixed up. And there's something about process that I really enjoy. I like seeing my way through a problem. I think sets, as an actor sometimes like that, you know, you show up and you're like, like, okay, we have two hours. We got five different angles we gotta shoot. So it's kind of like seeing your way through a process and a challenge. I really like. I really like doing that. And the house was. The house that I bought in LA was completely that. And I stepped in the first time I saw that house, and I was like, oh, I Can see my way through this. Like, I know what I need to do. When I first went into the house, I knew that the architect was a prominent architect architect in Los Angeles. His name was Albert C. Martin, and Albert C. Martin and Associates designed City hall here in Los Angeles. His son designed the Department of Water and Power. They designed what is now the Academy Museum. So it's an architectural firm that is, in fact, still around. And the original founding member of the architectural firm built my house, and it had been in the same family. So once I kind of did a lot of work. You kind of make an application to the city, and they say, all right, don't change too much of it. We want to keep this as a. As a monument to sort of, you know, 115 years ago in Los Angeles. Right. And I'm proud to be sort of the steward of that, for sure.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Really cool. I know you had already had, like, such a great relationship with Hallmark. You know, you've done so many. So many films with them. I think it's like 20 films you've done with them now or something. It's been. It's a lot.

[Luke McFarlane]

Might not be 20, but very, very.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm gonna say 20. By the time this airs, it's gonna be 26, probably. No, you've done a lot with them. And I know. I know that's been such a blessing and to have. You know, they love you. And obviously the. The. The films have such a following and people love those. And by the way, I as say, I mentioned, I. I just shot my first Christmas film with the Jonas Brothers and in Toronto, and I could. I was like, oh, yeah, I see. See the charm of, like, these sort of Christmas films. And.

[Luke McFarlane]

And you played Santa.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I played Santa Claus. A hot version of Santa Claus, of course.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

But like, also with a glow up. Do you know how long I had to work my ass off to get the opportunity to play somebody as sacred as Chris Gringo? It was my 17th film at all.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's so funny.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah, that's great. I. They're fun to make. There's like a joy. The holiday season.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I.

[Luke McFarlane]

The first time I did a Hallmark movie, I had no idea. I really didn't really understand the brand. I didn't know them. I remember thinking, what. What is this script? It's very sweet. And I had no idea that it would just become this relationship that has existed. I'm so grateful to them. And when the idea to produce a home renovation show for their streaming platform, Hallmark plus, came out, me and this producer, Jessica, had this idea. They loved it. And I'm really proud that I get to continue my relationship with. In Hollywood, very rarely do you work for the same company for 15 years.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, you know, that's very rare.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah. And that they've been willing to grow with me through all these different stages of my career. It's very cool.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, it's absolutely perfect that you get to do this with them. So tell me about the concept of this show.

[Luke McFarlane]

So Home is Where the Heart Is is a show where people have inherited homes, whether through an aunt, an uncle, a loved one, a mom or dad. Sometimes they've passed away, Sometimes they've just moved to a different place. They pass it on to a relative. So these are homes that belong to somebody else and are now being passed to somebody else. And so the challenge of our show is how do you honor the people that were there before while making the space your own? So it's really a show about redefining a space that kind of maybe had different memories at different times for you. And the show is very much a conversation about who these people are and trying to reflect that in design and building. One of the aspects of the show is there's Luke's build is part of everything. So I build something specific because I also think I kind of wanted to leave everybody with something that I actually really built. So in our first episode, I made a little butcher block table to go in their kind of Victorian style home, which felt like an appropriate sort of thing to have in a Victorian style home. But always tried to do that. And it was very hands on. And showing up 12 hours before the family's supposed to come and looking around and going like, are you kidding me?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

How are we gonna get this?

[Luke McFarlane]

We have so much done. Like, trying to find people to come in to do laboring, you know, last minute. And also, it's really interesting. I. I'm not. I'm very hands on. And so, like, I was like, hey, are you comfortable putting a crown molding up here? The guy will be like, yeah, no problem, no problem. And I'll come back and be like, are you kidding me? Like, that was very hard for me to let go of, like, the core quality of the work and the expectation of the work. Right. So always fighting because it's so personal when you're taking someone's home.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

And putting color on the wall and putting up paper and moving furniture and sometimes taking apart old pieces of furniture to repurpose it. Like, it's People's stuff. And they really.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. They're trusting you with that.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah, yeah. And one of my big takeaways is how grateful people are and how rare it is for someone to say like, hey, we're going to give you a little makeover. Like people don't have money to spend on a little makeover for their house. They were all very, very grateful.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's such a gift.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah. I should also mention the show would not have worked because I'm a woodworker, I'm a builder, I'm a kind of contractor. Olivia Westbrook is a full on professional designer and she is an Atlanta native. We filmed all in Atlanta. She knew how to find a couch in a pin. She knew how to get a painter. She knew how to get a spray guy. And she's a professional designer. That's what she does for a living. And so it's really Olivia and I working very hard to give something that people will feel like is reflective of who they are.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah. One of my favorite shows, it's such comfort TV for me is Trading Spaces.

[Luke McFarlane]

Oh, yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And talk about like people going in with big swings and like, not sure if the homeowners are gonna like this. There's a. Oh, yeah. There's one of the clips that's been making the rounds recently of the family and the brown pile. Yes. They hate the room so much. She has to leave the room, but her microphone's still on and she's just bawling in the other room. And Paige Davis, God bless you, the host of the show, she's just like, how do I navigate this situation? I have crying homeowners.

[Luke McFarlane]

In all fairness in that clip.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

I mean, the room was horrible.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The whole room was awful.

[Luke McFarlane]

Awful. Like I don't know what they were. I feel like my dad would design that room.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It could be very good.

[Luke McFarlane]

Lots of straight lines. Brown, six by six tile is terrible.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm gonna say like 65% of the time it was not great. No, totally.

[Luke McFarlane]

It's hard to do things well. And I'm pretty particular about things like you can't. I feel like everybody thinks they can just do it. There's a short lived HGTV show where it was people trying to sort of do their own renovation projects.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, God.

[Luke McFarlane]

And it had this really sad, depressive. Like nothing was finished. Everything kind of was like crooked and a little bit wrong. And, you know, because I do believe in craftsmanship and I will say that was a big challenge of the show too, is because you're making TV you never quite have enough time. And Olivia and I were often kind of like, oh, boy, this is going to be very hard to get done quickly.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, I'm just going to let people in on your eye. This is a little anecdote about Luke. Luke and I. I know you can absolutely tell by if you put us side by side, but we work out at the same gym sometimes.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The weights you lift are a tad heavier than mine, but there was a little shelf in the gym that was maybe a little crooked or a little wobbly. And you came in, your eye went right to it. The next day, you came in with your toolbox. You fixed it for them. Oh, my God.

[Luke McFarlane]

That reminds me of the story, actually, when we were waiting at the hospital for Tess to be born. And Tess took her time. She took her time. So we were there, like, five days, and one of the nursing stations had those, like, you know, Formica counters with the cabinets on it. And one of the cabinets was just, like. The door was, like, hanging off. And I just went to the nurse. I was like, you have to let me fix that. I came by the next day with my screwdriver. I realigned all the sort of Euro hinges.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So you guys had nervous energy.

[Luke McFarlane]

But it's funny, I just. I'm. I'm obsessed with how things are made. I've always been that way.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I. I have been in stores with you, and you're like, you'll get on your hands and knees, crawl under a table, and like, oh, they've dovetailed this.

[Luke McFarlane]

Like, I think the sort of last room to do in my house was something I kind of finally did, the master bathroom. And it was the first time Haig was really around me while I was. You know, I had built the cabinets and laid the tile, and. And he was like, I've never seen you more crazy.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I remember when you were renovating your kitchen, and it was just.

[Luke McFarlane]

It was. It was crazy. I was, like, losing weight. I remember Sally Field saying to me, you're very skinny.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You're very skinny.

[Luke McFarlane]

I think I finished a renovation of the house, and I was like, yikes, I better take care of myself.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

And I knew that Brothers and Sisters was coming to an end, so I, like, started working out.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right. So you were renovating this house. You bought the house, and we're renovating at the end. During your entire time on Brothers and Sisters and.

[Luke McFarlane]

And Sisters, Correct. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's interesting. I think I forgot that wrinkle.

[Luke McFarlane]

Remember, that show was also. That cast was gigantic.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. It's A big ensemble show. Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

No one really worked. Like, I would often have only three days of work a week, you know.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

24 episodes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The same with Modern Family, I guess. Yeah. Something we share in common, and actually, you preceded me in this, is that we both got to get married on network television.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yes. To men.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

To men. Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

And have kids.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And have children. Yes, I know. And, you know, I think for Modern Family, they always talk about how revolutionary it was. I think maybe for a sitcom it was. But, you know, you and Matthew's character got married, like, six years before Mitch ever did.

[Luke McFarlane]

Is that right?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I think so.

[Luke McFarlane]

Well, I remember we got married before Prop A.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes.

[Luke McFarlane]

Was even in dispute. So.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

It's always funny to think about those things. And I'm still always surprised the number of people that, you know, remember and come up to you and say how important and meaningful that is. And it's. It's often the kids. The kids, the guys, the gay men who are like, 10 years younger than me that remember watching the show with their mom when they were probably like, 14, 15. Yeah. And they're the ones very prominent that that's when the conversation started. That's when, like, mom was like, maybe my son's gay, you know, but they haven't started to ask the questions of each other. So, like, you know, if good art is the beginning of a conversation, I feel so lucky that I started a lot of conversations or got to be part of starting conversations.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's so meaningful and so great that you could be a part of a show that I think touched so many people's lives and that that relationship was in people. People's living rooms. And I think for so many kids, and I hear this, and I certainly think about this with myself, is, you know, I'm glad that I could be a character or even just an actor and a person in life that people can look up to and be aspirational towards and be like, I recognize myself in not only Mitch's, you know, relationship with Cameron, but also, like, Jesse's relationship with Justin. Like, I. You know, that's always extremely meaningful. I feel like it was around. Was it around the brothers and sisters timeline that you decided. I mean, again, you'd been out to all your friends, but it was the first time you talked about it in the press.

[Luke McFarlane]

So I had the show that brought me to Los Angeles was this, you know, very macho military show. And I never really talked about it in any of the press I did for that show, and I was kind of half in half, out on the set. And I kind of was like, I don't want to ever do that again. When I first joined the cast of Brothers and Sisters, I was just a guest star. Yeah. I wasn't supposed to stick around. And then so they told me at the end of first season, we'd like to make Scotty a series regular. And then I knew at that moment, I was like, oh, I'm. I'm gonna have to do press again. And I never really, you know, as a guest star, they don't, you know, you don't really have to do press.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No.

[Luke McFarlane]

And then so I was like, okay, I'm gonna come out. And it was very simple. And it was very simple. And that was a long time ago. That was 18 years ago.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Very long time ago. Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

I'm always amazed that people give a damn because you're really just doing things. I think, or I at least believe this at the time. I really do think I was just trying to do it for my mental health, because I had spent five months on a show where I hadn't talked about it and felt afraid. And I think that affects your work as an actor.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

I think it affects your personal relationships. So, yeah. Yeah, it was. It was a different time. And then, of course, you know, the thing that people immediately come out and you have to learn to sort of take this with a grain of salt is like, well, of course he's gay. He didn't have to say it. And you're like, oh, yeah, that's definitely.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

What they said about me. Like, yeah, we know, honey.

[Luke McFarlane]

Which is like, it doesn't rise to the moment. It doesn't sort of, you know, I mean, if Lindsey Graham comes out.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right, Right.

[Luke McFarlane]

Okay, then I will say, yes, honey.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

We all knew, but, like, you know, you were talking about it being something for your mental health, which I completely relate to. And also, you know, as I'm having these conversations and I'm meeting so many people now who are queer in the entertainment industry, I'm even thinking, like, in the music industry, like Chapel Roan, for example, we're just, you know, it's right out of the gate, they're like, this is who I am. And it seems so much less revolutionary, which is, I think, really exciting and great.

[Luke McFarlane]

We grew up in a different time.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Like, absolutely.

[Luke McFarlane]

I. You know, I grew up in small town and, you know, trying to figure out what your identity is. And, like, there was so much, like, coded signaling for things. There used to be these, like, workout magazines that I was like, oh, these Workout magazines are, like, really great. I really like, you know, because I want to work out.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

And then, like, the older I got, I was like, they were clearly designed.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

For gay people.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

To look at, like, hot dudes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

You know, And I was like. But that was. That was the generation.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

It was sort of. It wasn't stated. It was kind of understood. It was signaled but not discussed.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right.

[Luke McFarlane]

You know, and, like, they all looked.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Like Fabio a little bit.

[Luke McFarlane]

Absolutely. It was like, well, that was the era of Chippendale, too. I. I got to work with Marlo Thomas. That's another wonderful thing about Hallmark is I got to work with all these wonderful. Sheryl Lee Roth, Marlo Thomas, Jean Smart, you know, so, like, these wonderful people come to Hallmark.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

Anyway, beside the point. When I met Marlo Thomas, who was married to Phil Donahue, I said to Marlo Thomas. This is going to be very strange story, but Donahue was, like, big part of my childhood. I remember coming home from school, and we were kind of Latin key kids, so we just kind of let ourselves in. And one episode on Donahue, it was the Chippendale Dancers, and there were these, like, Chippendale Dancers performing for, like, the thing. And I remember at the end of the episode, Donahue looks at the camera like, I don't know how the ratings are going to be, but I think we all had a lot of fun. I remember going like, I had a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. And I didn't know it at the time, but I was like. I kind of wanted to be like them, but I sort of wanted to be with them.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

But it's all going to the time we lived in where, like, it was signaled but not said.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

You know, and. Yeah, I'm glad we're moving past that. Like, people like Chapel Roan can just say it, you know.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Absolutely. You have had such a great career after, you know, coming out, and you've got, like, you. You're just mentioning a platonic. Where you play. You know, you're married to Rose Byrne and you're playing these straight parts still, I mean, which is great. And I'm so thrilled that, you know, you are getting opportunity. I feel like so many people are scared about coming out because they feel like those opportunities might go away. Yeah. How do you feel like the industry is in this moment? Because I don't know how to answer that question.

[Luke McFarlane]

I don't know how to answer that. I really don't. Like, I think as long as we just keep imagining what it is we want for ourselves. We'll get it because we're actors. I think if we just keep focusing on the work, like, there will always be opportunities. We just have to keep delivering. You know, we just have to keep being good. That is. That is the assignment, I think.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and, you know, you also had such a great opportunity to be a part of, you know, a major motion picture playing a gay part with bros. Yeah. You know that Billy Eichner sort of tailored that role to you. Yeah, I know. I spoke to. Spoke to you a lot about that because you knew that you were going to do that. And then the pandemic happened, and then it was, like, you know, delayed, and you weren't sure if it was ever going to come back. And it was this thing that you desperately wanted to do for so long. So when it finally was happening, I was just so happy that you were actually getting to do it.

[Luke McFarlane]

You know, when you look at the checklist of a career, like, I'm sure you said to yourself, like, I want to be on Broadway. Okay. I want to do a straight play on Broadway. Okay. I want to be a series regular on a television show. And so one of those things on the list for me was like, I really want to be the lead of a feature film.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

So, like, that was a huge part of it, too. I was like, I really want to be a leader.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And a romcom.

[Luke McFarlane]

And a romcom, which I had, like, weird. Who would have thought that, like, Hallmark would have led me to feature film romcom, you know, but.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right.

[Luke McFarlane]

I certainly learned a lot from the Hallmark romcom world.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

I am so grateful to Hallmark, like, truly, like. And even going back to this question of, like, being out, like, Hallmarks embrace that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

You know, we really can't. You can't make the jokes about Hallmark being sort of not aware of, like, the time they live in. They're very, like, I played gay characters for Hallmark now.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Luke McFarlane]

So.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it is such a testament to, like, people are willing to.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Get lost in fantasy and, like, actors are able to play different types of parts and, like.

[Luke McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Maybe we're all overthinking things a bit too much. You know, I mean, as actors now, we've certainly talked about this privately. Like, we want the opportunity to do everything.

[Luke McFarlane]

Absolutely. And we don't want to tell people they can't do things. Just, like, we don't want to be told we can't do things.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Exactly, exactly. Listen, I am so grateful to have you in my life. I'm so happy that we have this friendship. You truly are one of the people that I'm like. I so. I love you so much, and I just. I really consider you to be one of my best friends. And the fact that we're going through fatherhood together is such a joy for me. One of the first meals I was able to take Sully out with me, just to me and him. You joined us with Tess and I was like, I cannot believe we're just here with our. I know our kids, like, chilling at a restaurant in Larchmont. It just. I'm so happy we're doing this together. And thank you so much for doing this and coming on. And I cannot wait to see the renovation show. I knew it was going to happen. It was just a matter of time.

[Luke McFarlane]

Well, thank you. No, Jesse, the exact same to you as well. I don't have a ton of really super close actor friends, too, so it's really nice to know somebody for a long time because we get to talk about. Get to talk about the biz in a way that like someone who really, you know, have some similar experiences. So, yeah, I really appreciate it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You. You're very valuable to me. You're valuable to me.

[Luke McFarlane]

Is that where you're going? Let's try that again.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You're valuable to me. That's why Dinner's on Me. Oh. This episode of Dinner's On Me was recorded at Kazan in Beverly Hills. Next week on Dinners On Me. You know her as the iconic Nina Van Horne in Just Shoot Me, Victoria Chase in Hot in Cleveland. And more recently, from Apple TV's shrinking, it's Wendy Malik. We'll get into Wendy's life living on a ranch in the mountains with her miniature donkey, sharing the screen with Harrison Ford, and the insightful life lessons she learned from Betty White. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me. Plus, as a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click Try free at the top of the Dinners on Me show page on Apple Podcasts. To start your free trial today, Dinners on Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Baer engineered this episode. Hans Dale she composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tameka Balance Kolasny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week. All right, let's talk about something near and dear to my heart. Building the perfect sandwich. And yes, yes, I take this very seriously. Step one, you need a great bread. Fresh, crusty, something with character. Step two, Boar's Head Oven Gold turkey. Always. It's juicy, it's flavorful. It's the backbone of this operation. Step three, a few slices of Boar's Head Smoke Master ham. Because I like to mix it up. It adds a slow smoked beechwood flavor that makes your taste buds just, you know, do a little dance. Step four, cheese sharp cheddar if I'm feeling bold. Creamy Swiss if I'm feeling fancy. Step five, a swipe of Dijon crisp lettuce, thin sliced tomato, and maybe a pickle or two, you know, for drama. Layer it all up. Cut it in half diagonally, obviously. And you gotta sandwich. Sandwich that's perfectly crafted. Thanks to Boar's Head. Every bite tastes like it was made with care. Because it was. So if you're ready to level up your sandwich game, trust me, start at the deli counter. Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at your local Boar's Head deli counter. Boar's Head, committed to crafts since 1905.