Mary Elizabeth Ellis – on 20 years of 'Always Sunny’ and waking up next to Charlie Day

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson

Guest: Mary Elizabeth Ellis

Episode Date: January 27, 2026
Location: Ceviche Project, East Side LA
Main Theme:
A candid, laughter-filled conversation about navigating 20 years of marriage and creative partnership, the journey of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the realities of raising a child in Hollywood, changing perspectives on career longevity, and examining the power of friendship, family, and vulnerability in show business.

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1. Setting the Table: Warmth and Wine

• Jesse welcomes Mary Elizabeth Ellis to dinner at Ceviche Project, excited to break bread and dive right in. Mary opts for a mocktail; Jesse is “okay with wine” ([03:15]).
• The two joke about being East Siders and their love for fresh seafood and creative cuisine, joking and riffing with the server.

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2. Love Story Origin: Early Days with Charlie Day

• How Mary and Charlie Met:

  • Met in early 20s through theater friends in New York. “I was 22, and he was 25. So I think we were like, let's have sex and that will be enough of this. And then we were like, oh, wait, yeah.” – Mary ([05:15])
  • Mary attended a play starring Charlie, “Throwdown,” then partied after with friends: “There was some drunk Irish dude, like, hitting on me at the bar. And Charlie was like, I'll pretend to be your boyfriend. So it was like that very cute, young, like, innocent.” ([06:01])
  • First night together: “We hooked up, but nothing too lascivious. And then like, woke up the next morning, and he was like, oh, shit, I'm late for work.” ([06:44])

• Those Early New York Apartment Days:

  • Describes gritty Lower East Side living, window “just like the diapers that people, you know... it was not classy.” ([08:56])
  • “Charlie lived in the closet as his room for a while, but by the time I got there... He had graduated to a real [room].” – Mary ([09:19])
  • Mentions living with Jimmy Simpson and connections to Melanie Lynskey, Jason Ritter, reinforcing the “everyone knows everyone” vibe ([09:32])

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3. Courtship, Commitment, and Career

• Long-Distance and Moving to LA:

  • Did long distance (“like a year”) between New York and LA while Mary did plays, then Charlie and Jimmy moved to LA ([10:39])
  • “Both cities... were full of, like, eligible single people. And you're like, no, we're gonna make this work.” – Jesse ([11:05])

• Marrying Young and Building a Family:

  • “It will be our 20th wedding anniversary next year.” – Mary ([12:17])
  • “You have a son, right?” “Almost 14 year old.” ([11:44])
  • Jesse reflects on the arc: “From those dirty apartments... now we have a 14 year old... I find it incredibly moving.” ([11:49])

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4. Navigating Showbiz and the Hustle

• Showbiz Roller Coaster:

  • “It's like being a gambling addict. Like, when it's working, you're like, this is great... and then you forget the times that were so hard.” – Mary ([16:14])
  • On It's Always Sunny as an anchor: “It's never been like, ‘oh, my God, I had zero work this year’ because we always had that.” ([16:08])
  • “Before [A Man on the Inside] I was like, I don't know if I still like this enough... the rejection’s just so hard.” ([16:34])

• Show Longevity and Evolution:

  • Jesse draws parallels to Modern Family: “If you go back to the early episodes of Always Sunny... you’re tiny, tiny little people.” ([18:18])
  • Mary on audience reactions: “People come up and they're like an adult human being, and they're like, ‘oh, my God, I grew up on you.’ And you're like, 'Oh, shut the fuck up. But thank you so much.'” ([02:29], [18:48])

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5. Comedy, Influence, and a Changing Industry

• Influencing a Generation:

  • “How cool is it to be able to have been... part of what influenced... what people find funny for so long.” – Mary ([19:12])
  • On generational shifts: “Russell, our son, sometimes will be like, watch this thing on YouTube... and we're like, I don't get the joke.” ([19:32])

• Adapting to New Comedy:

  • Jesse and Mary discuss how Judd Apatow surrounds himself with “new young talent” to keep up with shifting comic tastes. “Comedy is moving so quickly... I don’t necessarily know what’s funny now.” ([20:05])
  • Mary: “Watching new comedy shows to try to keep up as well.” ([20:32])

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6. Legends at the Table: Danny DeVito, Ted Danson, & Mary Steenburgen

• On Danny DeVito’s Energy:

  • “It’s gotta also be crazy, like, oh, I've shared... 20 years of my career with this guy, with a legend...” – Jesse ([20:42])
  • “He was like 62 when we started, because he came in on season two... and that he’s 80 and he still has that much energy!” – Mary ([21:10])

• Working with Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen:

  • “Having a career in this keeps you young... you’re having to learn all these lines and stay on top of what you’re doing...” ([21:24])
  • “Both of them are so vulnerable and open... Some people are able to shine it out all the time and... some people are like, 'You’ll get what I give you.'” (Mary, contrasting with Sean Penn) ([22:03])

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7. Hollywood Parenting, Privacy, and Balance

• Raising a Teen in Hollywood:
  • “Only one time [our son] was having a crazy meltdown in an airport... someone came up and was like, ‘can I get a picture?’ And I was like, ‘no, no, no, no,’” ([25:54])
  • On Hollywood school life: “He goes to school with, like, Jason Bateman’s kid... Johnny Knoxville's kid... so like, it's not super weird. The Rock’s kids go to that school... Also, like me, your parents aren’t that important, like...” ([26:31])
  • “You’re a private citizen. And now he’s old enough, he’s like, I don’t care.” ([26:30])

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8. Evolving With Age and Perspective

• A New Appreciation of Age & Family:

  • Jesse: “I feel so much... fully realized as a 50 year old than I did as a 40 year old... the box of my family is a really lovely place to be.” ([29:36])
  • Mary: “I think the way that my son has mirrored my shit back to me... make me look at things in a way I probably couldn't have if I were just on my own.” ([30:52])
  • “Do I want my entire body pulled up like pantyhose? Yes. Just pull it all the way up.” ([31:51])

• Industry Instability and Why Theater Still Excites:

  • “The changes from when we came in and started... everything’s so weird and wild and different... That’s why theater is exciting right now.” – Mary ([32:08])

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9. Admiration, Mentoring, and Friendship

• Mentorship and Peer Support:

  • Jesse admires Nathan Lane: “I could really, like, grill him about... straddling a career in theater and television... someone who’s been queer, openly queer in this industry for a long time...” ([37:53])
  • Shares hilarious dinner anecdote: Nathan Lane, in front of Jesse’s son who says, “Guess what I have,” replies: “Hepatitis.” ([40:20])
  • Mary: “I really appreciate the contemporary women I have come up with... it feels really nice that the tides have turned and now it's like, women supporting women.” ([37:27])

• On Children of Actors Joining the Fold:

  • Mary and Jesse chat about the new generation coming up, referencing Dan Levy and Catherine O’Hara: “Must be so amazing. So cool. For sure. Raise the next generation.” ([41:15])

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10. Notable Quotes & Standout Moments

Classic, Candid Quotes

• “People come up and they're like an adult human being, and they're like, ‘oh, my God, I grew up on you.’ And you're like, 'Oh, shut the fuck up. But thank you so much.’” – Mary ([02:29], [18:48])
• “It's like being a gambling addict... when it’s working, you’re like, this is great... then you forget the times that were so hard.” – Mary ([16:14])
• “He lived in the closet as his room for a while, but by the time I got there...” – Mary ([09:19])
• “Do I want my entire body pulled up like pantyhose? Yes. Just pull it all the way up.” – Mary ([31:51])
• “Nathan [Lane] was like, ‘Oh, God,’ as if he was being stopped on the street by a fan. He's like, ‘Oh, God.’ I was like, Nathan, he's a five year old. Like, let it rest.” – Jesse ([40:01])
• “Guess what I have.” “Hepatitis.” (Jesse’s son & Nathan Lane, [40:20])

Memorable Segment Timestamps

• [05:15] – Mary recounts meeting Charlie Day
• [11:16] – Long-distance, marriage, and reflection on 25 years together
• [16:08] – The stabilizing force of It's Always Sunny
• [18:48] – On the weirdness of fans “growing up” on the show
• [21:10] – Danny DeVito’s age and energy
• [25:54] – Parenting and privacy in LA
• [29:36] – Jesse on turning 50, finding joy in family
• [31:51] – Mary’s humor on aging and “pantyhose surgery”
• [37:53] – Jesse on Nathan Lane as a mentor
• [40:20] – Nathan Lane’s hepatitis joke

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11. Final Thoughts

Dinner’s on Me delivers a heartfelt, free-flowing conversation between actor-friends who have spent lives on and off screen embracing change, unexpected turns, and the humor in both struggle and success. Mary Elizabeth Ellis is candid about the sacrifices and rewards of show business, partnership, and parenthood; Jesse Tyler Ferguson brings warmth and camaraderie, reflecting on life milestones and the joy found in friendship and family.

The episode radiates authenticity, resilience, and gratitude—themes as nourishing as the ceviche on their table.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

People come up and they're like an adult human being, and they're like, oh, my God, I grew up on you. And you're like, oh, shut the fuck up. But thank you so much. But also, shut the fuck up.

[A]

Yeah, this is. Dinner's on me. And I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. So today we are at ceviche project in LA's east side. It's off of Hyperion and Silver Lake. I have been wanting to try this place for so long. Ceviche Project has become this go to spot for East Siders, for crudos and ceviches, of course. And this is gonna be perfect for my guest today because she's not only an Eastsider, but also a pescatarian. I'm so excited to try this place. Okay, let's get to the conversation.

[C]

Welcome. How are you guys today?

[A]

So good. How are you?

[C]

Excellent. Thank you so much. Can I offer you a glass of wine, A mocktail?

[A]

I think I'm okay with wine right now.

[B]

I'll try a mocktail.

[A]

Yeah. With sparkling water. Very, very. Oh, you know, I will have that.

[C]

Excellent. I'll be back.

[B]

I might need something with the right fish. The fish hat with lunch lunch. Fish.

[A]

Lunch fish.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Definitely. Popular dishes are the scallops on a half shell, if you like that. The tuna cones, the campachi tostada. Also the. The. The belly of the tuna, the sashimi, the callo diaches escalo from Mexico. And I definitely recommend the special ceviche.

[A]

That we have, which is their special.

[C]

The snapper from Dorado with the leche de tigre. It's very, very nice. With persimmon jicama and cucumbers.

[A]

Okay, we'll definitely get that.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Let's see. I would also love. I want to try that tuna cone. Cone.

[B]

Yeah, Sounds amazing.

[A]

Let's see. Okay. Okay. I want. Also, you talked about one of the tostadas.

[C]

Yeah. The King can Pachi is fantastic. Villa is on the critical Valley Times favorite. The to sashimi. And the special I would definitely recommend. And if you like scallops, I will definitely recommend scallop.

[A]

Bring that out.

[C]

Bring it out. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people, like, just trust me and like, just send me whatever.

[B]

Yeah, let's do it. I'm a costume allergies now.

[C]

Right. Fantastic.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

First of all, I want to know about. I mean, you're in a relationship with another actor.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Charlie Day.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I have dated actors, and I found it very challenging when you and Charli got Together. Was that a discussion that you had? Was it just sort of like it was gonna happen regardless?

[B]

I mean, we were so. I was 22, and he was 25. So I think we were like, let's have sex, and that will be enough of this. And then we were like, oh, wait, yeah.

[A]

Did you meet on a. On a job?

[B]

I was doing a play in New York. Like, so I moved here from Santa Maria because everything I had was in my car. You know, it was sort of like, do I go to New York? Do I come to L. A? And then I got that job. I had friends who'd started a theater company in Chicago called the House Theater. So I was like, maybe Chicago, but I feel like Chicago's not it for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was living here. I had friends who were in New York, and they were like, one of them wrote a play. The other one was directing it. The director of the play had gone to Williamstown, and Charlie had gone to Williamstown Theater Festival.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So the friend who was directing it was like, I have these friends who are doing this play. So I went and saw this play called Throwdown, about a yo yo competition that Charlie was in. And he had been shooting third watch, that show that was happening in New York for a while. So he, like, to get to the show, and after the show, like, everyone went out to a bar. So we were all, like, drinking and stuff. And, yeah, he, like, hit on me. Like, there was some drunk Irish dude, like, hitting on me at the bar. And Charlie was like, I'll pretend to be your boyfriend. So it was like that very cute, young, like, innocent. And we, like, hooked up that night. And so we just sort of were like, I don't know. It was really nice.

[A]

You. You hooked up.

[B]

We hooked up, but nothing too lascivious. And then, like, woke up the next morning, and he was like, oh, shit, I'm late for work. And at the time, he was the voice of ifc, like, tonight on ifc.

[A]

Hilarious.

[B]

Yes. So he was like, I got to go to this job. And I just like, you know, it was like, that time of life where you're like, well, I don't have anything to do until rehearsal at, like, 5pm So I just, like, hung out at his house, and he.

[A]

What neighborhood did he live in?

[B]

He lived in the. Where the Lower east side tenement Museum is. He lived in that building?

[C]

No.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So you're, like, kind of a.

[B]

At the time, it was.

[A]

I placed you around, like, the early 2001. Okay. So you were in downtown Lower east side.

[B]

Lower east side. Like, you know, the kind of thing where, like. And everyone's smoking still, like, smoking inside because it's too cold to go outside. And, like, they were on the, like, not ground floor, but of the inside of a building.

[A]

You know, vestibule.

[B]

Well, the. Not the, like, entrance, but the foyer hole in the middle of a building.

[A]

Like, if you're looking from above, where.

[B]

The orphans and Annie have to walk in a circle, the.

[A]

The. The courtyard. Not courtyard. Shaft way. The Shaft way. Yeah, we all know about the shaft way. The building.

[B]

Oh, that's so pretty.

[C]

Your first dish. The toro uni cone.

[B]

That's a lot of uni. How do you feel about that?

[C]

Very small uni. It's very good. So the cone, like, you can slide it out of the paper.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And then there's avocado in the bottom.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And enjoy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm excited.

[B]

Pretty.

[A]

Cheers.

[B]

Cheers. Oh, don't eat your paper. Hey, enjoy that for it. I'm just going to dump it in my. My bag. Dump your bag.

[A]

Okay. That is really good.

[B]

That's delicious.

[A]

Why were we talking about the vegetable? The vegetables?

[B]

Because they lived on that floor. So, like, you would open the window and it would be just like the diapers that people, you know, it was not classy.

[A]

I love stories about early New York apartments.

[B]

Yeah, Just, like, so gross and so small. And I think Charlie lived in the closet as his room for a while, but by the time I got there. And so when I went to his house.

[A]

So wait, when you hooked up, were you in that little closet room?

[B]

No, he had gotten. He had graduated to a real.

[A]

To the futon and the farmer.

[B]

Yes, exactly. And he lived with Jimmy Simpson. Do you know Jimmy?

[A]

I do know Jimmy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So they were roommates. They had met at Williamstown, I think. And Jimmy was dating Melanie Lynskey at the time.

[A]

Yes. My friend Jason Ritter's current wife.

[B]

Yes, yes. I love both of them. Current. Current. Love both of them so much.

[A]

I love them both.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he, like, picked up a guitar that night and, like, started just like, oh, whatever. I'm scared. Who plays guitar? You know? And he played, like, this random song. That's one of my favorite songs that was like, how do you know to be of use by Smaug? Like, incredible. And I don't know. And then we just. I lived here. We did long distance for a little while, and then he and Jimmy moved out here, and we're looking for apartments together and just were, like, the lowest of the low. Hanging fruit. Because from New York, you're like, well, I don't know, there's no diapers out the window. And I'm like, you can get, like, a window here in your room.

[A]

Get better at yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And so Charlie moved down and they lived together for a little while, and then we, like, moved in.

[A]

And were you. So you did, like, long distance dating for a little while?

[B]

For like a year. I went and did another play. I did Killer Joe.

[A]

Not that place.

[B]

So good.

[A]

Where'd you do that?

[B]

At Artist Repertory Theater in Portland.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Portland has great theater scene.

[A]

Yeah, they do.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So it was cool to do that. Yeah.

[A]

So interesting. So, I mean, it's kind of. I don't know. I'm always fascinated with, like, people in their early 20s, like, attempting long distance.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

When you don't have to. I mean, you both lived in cities that were, like, full of, like, eligible single people. And you're like, no, we're gonna, like, make this for you. And that's great.

[B]

I mean, I definitely was like, you're not my boyfriend. And he was like, okay. And then I was like, oh, okay. That's kind of attractive. That, like, he's like, whatever. Sure. But I will. I mean, we both were. But I was so young, like just out of college, you know.

[A]

Yeah, it's. I mean, do you step back? Because I know, you know, now you've been married. You've been together for like a quarter of a century.

[B]

Yeah. Longer than I haven't been with him.

[A]

That's wild.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you have a son, right?

[B]

Almost 14 year old.

[A]

Okay. Crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, you know when you carry time with someone and you can, like, really think back of, like, those. Those, like, early dirty apartments with the diapers out the window, and then, like, you can be like. And also now we have a 14 year old. And, like, it's kind of amazing and astonishing. I'm like, I find it incredibly moving. It's so moving that you can, you know, share that life so fully with someone. I mean, it doesn't always work out that way, but, like, I mean, 25 years is an accomplishment.

[B]

Yeah, it is. I mean, it is. It will be our 20th wedding anniversary next year.

[A]

That's incredible.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you got very young.

[B]

I was 26.

[A]

That's young. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, we discuss navigating the ups and downs of show business and what it's like to work with greats like Ted Danson, Mary steenburgen. And Danny DeVito. Okay. Be right back.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

And we're back with more dinners on me.

[C]

All right, so this is the Dora ceviche.

[B]

So, so pretty.

[A]

It's so gorgeous.

[C]

Leche de tigre, which is made of the chiles that I tell you from the farmer's market. Not spicy at all. Fruity and persimmon. Jicama and cucumber. There's some tostadas here.

[A]

It's just pure corn. Yes.

[C]

Gluten free. And enjoy.

[B]

Beautiful.

[A]

The colors are so.

[B]

They really are insane.

[A]

That's so beautiful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just feel like being an actor, choosing to be in this industry is so hard. And like I said, I've dated actors very briefly before I ever had success. But to navigate this industry with someone and then to both have success within it and then also to raise a 14 year old or to raise a kid to who's now 14 in a city like L. A. Yeah. I mean, which is so different than Mississippi.

[B]

So different.

[A]

I mean, and yet to be at, you know, the 25 year mark, it's really. I don't know that, like, what have the lows been? Like, have there been. Do you feel like there are times where it's like, this is definitely, like.

[B]

Why am I still trying to do this? I don't want to do this anymore. The rejection doesn't feel worth, like, the auditioning, you know, and putting myself out there. I definitely. I mean, look, we also have this, like, super special thing of having had It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia for 20 years.

[A]

Yeah, we talked about it.

[B]

Shot season one the year before Charlie and I got married. I was 25.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

And I'm 46, so we've been doing it for so long that, like, also having had that to hold us. So it was. It's never been like, oh, my God, I had zero work this year because we always had that, you know, So I feel really lucky for that. It is that thing too. Right. Of like, it's like being a gambling addict. Like, when it's working, you're like, this is great. It's always been great. It's so great. And then when you're. You forget, like, the times that were so hard. But right before, I'm doing A Man on the Inside right now with Mike Sher and Ted Danson, and I do think, like, kind of right before it, I was like, I don't know if. I don't know if I still like this enough to. The rejection's just so hard. And it just feels like that thing where you're like, I've been doing this for so long. Will the hustle ever end? But it won't. It's a lifestyle choice.

[A]

It's part of the gig.

[B]

Yeah. Of being like, what's the next thing gonna be? And if there's downtime, you know, or people are like, oh, my God, I loved you so much. Congratulations on your award. What are you doing next? And you're like, just looking at my award. Can I just look at my award?

[A]

You know, taking a beat.

[B]

Yeah. And it doesn't feel like there's time for that sometimes. But I think as I get older, it's like, okay. Things come in waves and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And there is, like, now I, like, crave downtime, too, to be like, maybe I'll draw or maybe I'll write something, or maybe I'll, like, make something with clay, you know? And I feel really lucky that I get to do that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it? I mean, I was watching just some, like, a retrospective of Always Sunny and Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Let's use the whole title. Why not? And what struck me, and I sort of felt this a little bit with Modern Family. Just have it being 11 years, specifically.

[B]

With the kids, you know?

[A]

Cause you really watch the kids grow up. But I mean, if you go back to the early episodes of Always Sunny in Philadelphia, you all are like Muppet babies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're tiny, tiny little people.

[B]

We are.

[C]

And.

[A]

It'S gotta be so crazy to have this, like, basically like a photo album or like a slideshow of your. Of a, you know, 20 years of your life that also is shared with the world.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Right. It is. It's so interesting. And now, and I bet this has happened to you too, that people come up and they're like an adult human being, and they're like, oh, my God, I grew up on you. And you're like, oh, shut the up. But thank you so much. Yeah. Because that means that I'm. I've been doing this for 20 years. Yeah.

[A]

Right. Yeah.

[B]

But it is. It's cool. And. And I mean, I don't know if this is, like, over inflated ego stuff too, but, you know, Charlie and I talk about, like, how cool is it to be able to have been, like, part of what influenced, like, people's comedy, like, what people find funny for so long, you know?

[A]

Right.

[B]

And as people come up, too, and, you know, your kids aren't, I'm sure, into yet, but, like, Russell, our son will sometimes be like, watch this thing on YouTube. Like, it's so funny. And then he shows it to us and we're like, I don't get. I don't get the joke. Like, what's the.

[A]

But that's the crazy thing is that comedy, I think, really does change.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, Judd Apatow, I remember him saying, like, when he directs things now, or if he's a part of something now, he really likes to surround himself with new young talent. Because comedy is moving so quickly.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That he's like. He's like, I don't necessarily know what's funny now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I need them to tell me what's funny so I can keep up with, you know, how to create.

[B]

Yes. And also wanting to be there. Like, well, there's. Is there still, like a. Can we, like, have a setup for the joke before we knock it down? Like, what's the. Yeah. What's the timing on things? And I do like, watching new comedy shows to try to to try to keep up as well.

[A]

Right. Yeah, Yeah, I do, too. I don't know if I necessarily understand what's always happening.

[B]

Yeah, agree.

[A]

I'm such a huge fan of Danny DeVito. I just. I think he's such a treasure.

[B]

He's amazing.

[A]

I mean, it's gotta also be crazy, like, oh, I've shared, you know, 20 years of my career with this guy, with a legend. With a legend who, like, within that 20 years, has also, like, created new milestones in his legacy and was only.

[B]

60 when we started and is 81 years old.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. So I think he was, like, 60, maybe 2 when we started, because he came in on season two and so funny, too, to be, like, 60s old and then be like, right as we're approaching it.

[A]

Yeah. And then.

[B]

Yeah. And that he's 80 and he still has that much energy. And that's how it is working with Ted Danson, too. Like, you're like, oh, I think having a career in this keeps you young, too, because, like, you're having to learn all these lines and stay on top of what you're doing and really driving a show, you know, I fully believe that for sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What are other things that about both Ted DANSON and Danny DeVito that, like, would surprise us? Because I feel like we all think we know these people so well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I grew up. I grew up on them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just said the thing that we hate people say to us, but I did grow up on them.

[B]

Yeah, we did. Yeah.

[A]

And I. I don't know. I feel like I haven't totally figured out, but I'm sure.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I do think both of them are so, like, vulnerable and open. It's not like a. I mean, I'm like. I could probably say this on here, because I'm sure Sean Penn's probably not watching podcasts all the time, but I met Sean Penn once. Like, I was doing licorice pizza, and he had a part in it, and the woman who was the hair person had worked with him a lot, and I really like her, Lori. So she was like, emmy, do you need to come in and get your hair done? Because Sean's in the trailer, and he was just very, like, focused, like, sort.

[A]

Of closed down, you know, Someone who likes.

[B]

This is so good, by the way.

[C]

With a fresh melon, shallot and ginger, and a spicy ponzu here. I can move this, but it's not that spicy.

[A]

It's not spicy.

[B]

Smells so good.

[A]

But the.

[C]

The sauce is, like, really, really good.

[B]

Oh, my God. That.

[A]

The presentation is so beautiful.

[B]

Beautiful. Thank you.

[A]

So he was super focused.

[B]

So he was just like, yeah, like, doing his thing in the trailer, like, very focused. And Lori's like, sean, this is Emmy. And he's like, hello. Like, lights up. Hello. So nice to meet you. I'm Sean. And I'm like, oh, hi, Sean, I'm Emmy. It's nice to meet you. And he's like. And like, closes back down. And I'm like, okay, I guess that interaction is finished now, you know? So I think, I think just like all humans, right, Some people are able to like, shine it out all the time and be like, this is who I am. I'm totally vulnerable. I'm totally open. And some people are like, you'll get what I give you. And the rest of it's like for me and for, you know, right now.

[A]

Let's take a quick break, but don't go anywhere. When we return, Mary tells me about how she and her husband Charlie Day navigate raising a teenager in Hollywood. And I share what it's like to have Nathan Lane at a family dinner. Okay, be right back.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

This year's tax changes better not get caught snoozing. Miss one deduction, lose thousands. Not amusing.

[B]

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Don't worry, tax filers, if money is tight, get $100 from Jackson Hewitt so you'll sleep better at night. Limited time offer for new clients. Participating locations only. [e-mail]. And we're back with more dinners on Main. Talk to me about, like, parenting in la. I mean, do people stop you and Charlie together and like, say things about being fans and how do you deal with your kids seeing or your son seeing that?

[B]

Yeah, I think for a while he didn't kind of notice it. And honestly, only one time he was having a crazy meltdown in an airport and I was holding him and he was like screaming and crying and someone came up to me and was like, can I get a picture? And I was like, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

But I feel like normally people are like, super nice and Because Sunny has always felt like a, I don't know, edgy, like not in the middle kind of thing. Like when people come up, it feels like, oh, you're cool. Like if you.

[A]

No, for sure.

[B]

You know, and then there was a. And then there got to be a time where people would be like, can I get a picture of both of you? And Russell would be like, I'm gonna get in it. And we're always like, yeah, you're a private citizen. And now he's old enough, he's like, I don't care. And one thing that's cool about living in LA is that like, he goes to school with like, Jason Bateman's kid and like PJ's kid, Johnny Knoxville's kid, you know, so like, you're not. It's not super weird to have like, the parents that act because, like, a lot of people's parents act, you know, and like the Rocks kids go to that school. So like, also like me, your parents aren't that important, like.

[A]

Right, Exactly.

[B]

We're trying to get to the Rock, please. Thank you so much.

[A]

Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I never thought about it that way. That it actually is nice for them to have friends that they can commiserate about that with. Like.

[B]

Yeah, like your parents are.

[A]

What do our parents do? Why do they.

[B]

Why are they on location?

[A]

Wigs and pretend to be other people.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So weird.

[B]

And they're like always gone. They're like always on location and like, you know.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

Because when you think about moving somewhere else, you're like, where am I going?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Where did your husband grow up?

[A]

Close. Simi Valley.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, so he's like a lot of his family's still very close.

[B]

That's very nice.

[A]

We have this lovely setup where, you know, the kids have their grandparents really near and nearby, and their uncles and cousins are all close. So that's. That's.

[B]

That's incredible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're. You were born in Montana. Did you grow up in Montana?

[A]

How did you know that?

[B]

The Internet.

[A]

I didn't grow up in Montana. I was born there. And then we moved to Albuquerque shortly after I was born.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And that's where I was.

[B]

So you grew up in Albuquerque? Yeah, I was just in Santa Fe.

[A]

Were you?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What were you doing there?

[B]

My friend's 50th birthday. God, that place is amazing.

[A]

It really is. Where did you guys go?

[B]

Well, I had gone. I had gone to. I had done a summer in Taosu. They have, like, a summer. They have, like, a program in Taos. And it was so gorgeous and so special. And I had never been to New Mexico before, and, like, that landscape. Landscape and the cloud shadows and just expansiveness and watching the storms roll in. It's just so gorgeous.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

All right, so this is our most popular tostada here, the Campachi tostada. So feel free just to, like, put your fork and then we'll break and then just like.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Pieces. So it's a Campachi avocado in the bottom, grapefruit, Bradley sprout, and a little.

[A]

Bit of trout roast.

[C]

Me. Wow.

[A]

You guys enjoy. Thank you. Yeah, it's needle.

[B]

I'm good right now. Not me.

[A]

I'm good.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Wait, are. Have you turned 50 yet?

[C]

No.

[A]

Coming up.

[B]

I'm 46, so I'll be 47 next year.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

God, you're so young, baby.

[A]

You are really.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I just had a 50th this year.

[B]

Happy birthday.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

I got to tell you, I. And maybe it's part of. It's like just being a dad now. I feel so much happier, not happier fully realized as a 50 year old than I did as a 40 year old. And, you know, the past, like, year has been really. The last two years have been really lovely. Like, it's been nice sort of coming out on the other end of this and like turning 50 and sort of feeling, I don't know, a little bit like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon. A little. In a weird way, like, I just. I really loved being 50, and I just. I'm happy with. With where my life is. I mean, I would, like. You know, I think we all, like, want anyone in this. In the entertainment Business, I feel like, wants more and, like, more opportunity and more, you know, you want people to look at you in a more full way. I feel like, you know, this industry puts people in boxes a lot, and that's still something that I struggle with. But, you know, personally, I'm like, the box of my family, like, is a really lovely place to be.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. So having kids, I think, like, my friends who don't have kids who are still so, like, do I have kids? Sometimes I'm like, don't do it. Yeah, totally. Because it is a lifetime commitment of, like, raising a person and showing up and doing that work, but there is also nothing more fulfilling. Like. And I feel like the way that my son has mirrored my shit back to me, you know, it's to make me look at things in a way that I probably couldn't have if I were just, like, on my own. Same with my partner, you know, same with Charlie. Like, oh, it's not cute when I act like that. Or, like, that's actually hurtful when I. When my own pain that I'm, like, trying to deal with comes out at that person. It is cool getting older. I mean. Yeah. Do I want my entire body to be pulled up like pantyhose? Yes. Just pull it all the way up.

[A]

You live in la.

[B]

We can do that.

[A]

There's a doctor who will make the body.

[B]

The pantyhose. I got the pantyhose surgery. They just pull it off. We were joking about that. Like, and then they tied in a knot at the top and cut it off, and then you have, like, a bump it.

[A]

That's right. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Like, it's weird to watch your body get older, but it's also. It also is just, like, I don't know, lovely. So the industry, I mean, the changes from when we came in and started, and even from, like, doing 24 episodes of television, it's so weird and wild and different. And I do feel like everyone's sort of on, like, unsteady footing of, like, what is this? What are we in? What are we going into? I don't know. I do think that's why theater is exciting right now, too.

[A]

Totally.

[C]

Right, Friends, how you guys doing?

[A]

So good.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

This is like a siva scudo with a chile morita sauce and olive oil and lemon salt and cheese.

[B]

So pretty.

[C]

Enjoy it.

[A]

I do love your new show. I think it's so great.

[B]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

And I. I was meant to do a play with Mary Steenbergen at Williamstown.

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

She was meant to play my mother, and I was so excited. She had to drop out, and I forgot to meet her.

[B]

What year was this?

[A]

This was 2000. It was the year before the pandemic. So 2019. Was it because she was. No, it was because she was doing her show, but that's no, 2019. And then I went to an event for Kristen Bell, who's a buddy of mine, and she and Ted Danson are buds from the Good Place.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And so I finally got to meet her there, and I was like, she's not gonna remember. Like, that. She probably. Like, that was probably something that she passed on. Didn't even look at the cast. She came right up to me. She's like, I am so upset that I had to drop out of that play. And she was so lovely.

[B]

She really is.

[A]

So she's joined the show this season, right?

[B]

She did the show this season, yeah. She plays, like, Ted's new love interest.

[A]

So sweet.

[B]

Because in the first season, he loses his wife, who's my mom, but we never meet that character. Yeah. And, yeah, I mean, working with Ted is. Was cool, but working with Mary, especially as a woman, like, and growing up watching her, and she was always so cool but interesting and. Yeah.

[A]

Do you mean. I don't know. Do you ever see, like, parallels in, like, you are also in a relationship with someone that you worked closely with, that you have. Have worked closely with.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And have built, you know, a huge life with and have had great success with in this industry. And then, you know, you look at someone like Ted and Mary, and, you know, here they are, like, what. What an amazing thing to have, like, this life together, and then, like, have this thing come up in, like, the later part of your life that you get to work together and, like, rekindle love on screen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's really special.

[B]

It's so special. And I feel like most of the publicity of this season was, like, their love story. Like, everyone being like, it's so cool that you guys are getting to work together. How. How did you fall in love? And, I mean, he's. He's so. They just. You know, you have a thing in a relationship, too, right, where he's, like, so into her, like a little puppy kind of, and she's like, teddy, you know, stop it. And it's so fun to be around that and see it. And it's interesting, too, right? Because, like, in most careers, people are, like, looking to retirement, and for us, we're like, oh, my God, I hope I'm still getting to do that when I'm Or I do. Do you feel that way?

[A]

Like, oh, 100%. I mean, I find stories like this. When you see people like Danny DeVito and Ted Danson who are having these opportunities, I think that's with Ed o' Neill as well. Played my dad, A Modern Family. Like, you know, he never thought that after Modern, after Married With Children, that he would have any sort of success like that. And to have something that actually not only matched Married with Children, but that he was sort of critically celebrated in a way that he never was. Married with Children really gives me, you know, I don't want to say hope, because it's not like I will be sad if I don't get that, but it gives me, like, excitement about what could come, like, potentially could happen for any of us.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's really. It's really awesome. Do you have people that you. You look to to, like, guide you through, you know, this life and being an artist?

[B]

That's a great question. I. I don't talk to, like, someone like Mary Steenburgen or someone, but I totally should. I mean, I would say it's more contemporaries, right? Like, people who came up in ucb, where we get to sort of commiserate together and be like, this is hard. This is hard. But, like, it feels really nice because I feel like, too, I came up in a time where like. Like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, where we were, like, just trying to rip women down and, like, be so judgmental of them. And, like, it feels really nice that the tides kind of turned and now it's like, women supporting women and, like, cheering for each other seems to be more the vibe. And I really appreciate, like, the contemporary women that I have come up with.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How about you?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I always talk about Nathan Lane as someone that I really admire.

[B]

I mean, amazing.

[A]

Had to look up to and was so lucky that our paths crossed. And I was able to, you know, I can call him a friend and, like, I. I could really, like, you know, grill him about, you know, how he straddled a career in theater and television and film and just, you know, someone who's, you know, been queer, openly queer in this industry for a long time and ungratefully grew up in very different times or up to this industry in very different times. But, you know, I find a lot of his advice to be.

[C]

So funny.

[A]

Because I don't even think he's, like, trying to give me advice, but I think just, like, his sort of, like, sense of humor and, you know, willingness to just be himself around me is like, I, I. I can take things from all that. He. He came to. He came to our house the other, like, a few weeks ago for dinner. He was in town shooting something, and we've been trying to meet for dinner, and it was just easier. I was like, do you just want me to cook for you? I'll cook for you. And he came over. He's like, do you mind if I bring Pam Adlon along as well? And I know Pam a little bit. He's like, yes, please bring Pam. I love her. And so I told my kids. I was like, you know, my friend Nathan's coming over and he's bringing our friend Pam. And I was like, you know Nathan. Of course you've listened to him. You've listened to Lion King. Like, you know his voice from Lion King. So I played, like, Hakuna Matata. And, like, on the way to school, they were like, singing Hakuna Matata. I was like, this is Nathan. This is coming to dinner. So that evening, Nathan comes over with Pam, and. And Nathan comes in, and my son goes, I know who you are. He called him Athan. Athan. I know who you are. You're from hakuna Matata. You're from lion King. And Nathan was like, oh, God. As if he was being stopped on the street by a fan. He's like, oh, God. I was like, nathan, he's a five year old. Like, let it rest.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then Beckett went off into his room and came back with something hidden behind his back. And he's like, ethan, Ethan, Ethan, guess what I have. And Nathan goes, hepatitis.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

I loved him so much for just being authentically himself. Like, he's like, I don't mind kids, but I also don't relate to them. And I'm gonna. I hear an opportunity for a joke, and this is what I'm gonna do. This is slide in. Yeah, it's gonna slide in.

[B]

And was it hepatitis that your son had brought you? I have hepatitis?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Behind his back?

[A]

Yeah, behind his back.

[B]

Surprise.

[A]

Yeah, it's really funny.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

Funny.

[B]

Yeah, it is. I know. It is funny when the world's mixed. And it must be so wild for people whose kids, because we have so many friends whose kids now want to be actors, and they're, like, starting to act, and that's how I felt about, like, Dan Levy, probably.

[A]

Yeah, Dan's a really good friend of mine. Yeah.

[B]

I just was always like, oh, my God. Catherine O'. Hara has known this person since he was born and like to be able to fire her.

[A]

Yeah. And be her son.

[B]

Yeah. Must be so amazing.

[A]

So cool. For sure.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm like, great, let's raise the next generation.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Put us in there. Great things.

[A]

My kids seem very funny, so get on it. Thanks for doing this.

[B]

Oh, my God, I'm so happy to.

[A]

Next week on Dinner's on Me. You know him from the Bachelor, from coming out. Colton. He's a best selling author, he's a podcast host, and he's on the new season of the Traitors. It's Colton Underwood and if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me. Plus, as a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click try free at the top of the Dinners on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinners on Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is is Alyssa Midcalf. Sam Baer engineered this episode, Hansdale. She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balance Kalasny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.