PATRICK J. ADAMS — on new wave of "Suits” fans and coping with stage anxiety

Summary

Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson Episode: PATRICK J. ADAMS — on new wave of "Suits” fans and coping with stage anxiety Release Date: November 26, 2024

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I. Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of Dinner’s on Me, host Jesse Tyler Ferguson sits down with actor Patrick J. Adams, best known for his role as Mike Ross in the hit series Suits. The conversation delves deep into Patrick's experiences in the entertainment industry, his personal struggles with stage anxiety, and his journey towards mental well-being.

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II. Friendship and How They Met

Jesse and Patrick share the origins of their friendship, which blossomed while performing together on Broadway in the revival of Richard Greenberg's play Take Me Out. Jesse reminisces about their first encounter years earlier, highlighting a story that paints Jesse as "a barrel of fun."

Patrick J. Adams [02:34]: "It certainly reached a whole new audience of people, you know, and I felt it in the world, going through the airport or whatever."

Jesse Tyler Ferguson [04:39]: "I know, this makes me look like a fallen aperol spritz. It's beautiful."

The two navigate through humorous anecdotes about their initial interactions and the hurdles they faced in forming a close bond.

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III. "Take Me Out" and Coping with Stage Anxiety

Central to their discussion is Patrick's Broadway debut in Take Me Out, where he played the pivotal role of Kippy, the narrator. Patrick opens up about battling severe stage fright and performance anxiety during the play's run.

Patrick J. Adams [16:06]: "I was on stage one night. It was one of these plays where you're on the whole time... I managed to stay on stage and finish the play, but it was a nightmare."

Jesse expresses awe at Patrick's ability to maintain a strong performance despite his internal struggles.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson [24:22]: "You had several monologues in the play... like, how do I carve?"

Patrick reflects on the duality of his experience—how fear both fueled his consistency and sometimes hindered his ability to relax and improvise on stage.

Patrick J. Adams [25:02]: "That was the consistency. It was funny you'd bring up the consistency, because I was like, it is true."

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IV. Departure from "Suits"

Patrick discusses his decision to leave Suits after seven seasons. He felt that his character's arc had reached its natural conclusion, and he sought to explore new opportunities and focus on his personal life.

Patrick J. Adams [32:40]: "I knew it was the right thing for my marriage... the longer I stayed in Toronto... the longer I was putting on hold this life that I knew I wanted."

He emphasizes the importance of prioritizing his relationship and future family over continuing a role that had fulfilled its purpose.

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V. Personal Life: Long-Distance Marriage and Parenthood

The conversation shifts to Patrick's long-distance relationship with his wife, Troian Bellisario, during their respective acting careers. They elaborate on the challenges and resilience required to maintain their bond over seven years apart.

Patrick J. Adams [37:07]: "We were both on set all the time, working all the time... we had this unique perspective on what the other one was going through."

Patrick shares how this experience strengthened their communication and mutual support, ultimately leading to a stronger marriage and fatherhood.

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VI. Coping with Mental Health and Sobriety

Patrick candidly discusses his struggles with depression and alcoholism during his tenure on Suits. He reveals how these challenges affected his personal life and professional performance, leading to a pivotal decision to quit drinking.

Patrick J. Adams [38:03]: "The best thing I think I ever did for myself was stop, stop drinking. It just needed to happen in order for all these other things to happen."

Jesse acknowledges Patrick's bravery and the positive impact of his sobriety on his life and relationships.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson [38:24]: "You have been someone that I've talked to a lot about that... I appreciate the way you take care of yourself."

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VII. Reflections on Acting and Imposter Syndrome

Both Jesse and Patrick delve into their shared experiences with imposter syndrome and the pressures of the acting profession. Patrick highlights the difference between their coping mechanisms—his own struggle with internal anxiety versus Jesse's more open approach.

Patrick J. Adams [25:33]: "Jesse is an example to me of the exact opposite of what I'm talking about... he has a level of confidence and calm."

They discuss how personal growth and prioritizing mental health have reshaped their perspectives and approaches to their careers.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson [39:04]: "I've been a theater actor since I was, you know, a young kid... and I feel like I've gotten more relaxed into it."

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VIII. Conclusion

The episode wraps up with mutual acknowledgments of each other's strengths and the positive influence they've had on one another's lives. Jesse praises Patrick's resilience and the profound changes he's made towards living a more present and fulfilling life, while Patrick commends Jesse for his support and friendship.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson [43:54]: "You're an inspiration. You've definitely inspired me to look at my life and make changes."

As they conclude their meal at Marco Polo in Silver Lake, their genuine camaraderie and shared experiences leave listeners with a profound sense of connection and admiration for both Jesse and Patrick.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisement segments and non-content portions of the transcript, focusing solely on the substantive conversations between Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Patrick J. Adams.

Transcript

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The other day I was making lemonade with my sons, Beckett and Sully, and Beckett is a little bit of a perfectionist. I'm not sure where he gets that from. It's me. It's definitely me. But he was getting really upset about the seeds falling into the juice and it was turning into a bit of high drama. Now listen, there's an easier way to do this. Who knew? Wonderful seedless lemons are a 100% naturally seedless lemon variety. They're juicy, zesty, bright, and everything you love about lemons. Minus the seeds. That's right. No more seeds floating in your lemonade or Diet Coke or getting caught in your teeth when you take a bite of salad. I mean, frankly, that's just a hazard. Wonderful seedless lemons are available nationwide at retailers such as Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Walmart, Kroger, as well as select Costco outlets. Look for wonderful seedless lemons at your local retailer or visit wonderfulseedlesslemons.com to learn more. Hey, it's Jesse. So I've got a bit of a crazy life. I have two kids under five, two dogs, a husband, a busy career. And I also just added another thing to my to do list. Hosting on Airbnb. Now, to be honest, I haven't yet pulled the trigger because I'm getting a little overwhelmed with everything I would need to do to be on top of everything as a host. I'd want to put gorgeous photos up to show off the amazing space. I would want to make sure that I'm as responsive as possible to guests and anticipate any questions or needs they might have. You know, you gotta get those good reviews. Plus I gotta make sure that the house is in tip top shape, linens are clean, everything is pristine for when they arrive. See, I'm. I'm already tired just thinking about it. It's like a part time job. That's why I'm so excited about Airbnb's new co host feature. Now I can hire a local co host to handle all the details while I'm away. They can create my listing, manage reservations, communicate with guest, and even style my space. So it's perfect for every guest. It's like having a trusted friend who's really good at this stuff. Just take care of everything. I can focus on my family and my work, knowing that my home and my guests are in great hands. Find a co [e-mail] host hi, it's Jesse today on the show. You know him as Mike Ross from Suits or his New Suits Rewatch podcast Sidebar. I know him as my Broadway co star in Take Me Out. It's Patrick J. Adams.

[Patrick J. Adams]

It certainly reached a whole new audience of people, you know, and I felt it in the world, going through the airport or whatever. I was like, suddenly people were interested in Mike Ross again. I was like, what's happening? I thought this was over. Yeah, this is.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Dinner's on me. And I'm your host, Jussie Tyler Ferguson. Patrick J. Adams, or Patrick Adams, as I call him, or Patrick Jadams. Actually, I've referred to him Patrick Jadams before. He and I became very close while we were performing together on Broadway in the revival of Richard Greenberg's play Take Me Out. Now, Patrick will tell you that we actually met years earlier in a story that makes me look like a barrel of fun. You'll hear that story later in the play we did together. Patrick played the pivotal role of Kippy, who is really the narrator of the story. The play unfolds through his remembrance of the events. It's a remarkably difficult role to play, mainly because the whole story lies on his ability to connect with the audience from moment one. He has to be accessible, likable, and charismatic while delivering most of the action of the play. And he also has to step in and out of the play as both an observer and an active, pivotal character. Now, I think any stage actor who has played a role like this, one that jumps from storyteller to one of its protagonists, knows how difficult this feat actually is. Patrick not only played this part beautifully, but he did it while battling his own crippling stage fright and performance anxiety, something he opened up to me about as the run of the play went on. Now, I absolutely love this guy so much and consider him one of my closest newer friends. And listen for me, as I get older, and I'm gonna be 50 next year, as I get older, I find it harder and harder to make new friends. I don't know. It takes someone really special like Patrick to make their way into my heart, and I don't know he did that effortlessly. Is that Patricia?

[Patrick J. Adams]

We're wearing the same thing. Oh, is it day? Look at us.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I took Patrick to Marco Polo, an Italian eatery nestled inside the Silver Lake Pool and Inn. It was the day after the Dodgers won the World Series, and this was the perfect way to celebrate. The sunny poolside patio spills into a gorgeous dining area that is so bright and airy, you feel like you've stepped into a European vacation without ever leaving the city. The menu Leans Italian, but with a California twist. In short, that means there's something for everyone from handmade pasta to prawns to fried chicken sandwiches. And as you'll hear from Patrick and me, they have delicious non alcoholic spritzes as well. Something that's surprisingly hard to nail. But I don't know. This one was a home run. Get it? See? World Series, take me out baseball. Home run. Okay, whatever. Right? Let's just get to the conversation.

[Patrick J. Adams]

How are you?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm really good. This has been our, like, fourth. Third. Fourth attempt.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I had Covid. You had Covid the last time, which.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I think was, you know.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Well, first of all, let's go back. I guilted you into doing this for so long, and then when you actually offered himself.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And then when I had Zachary Quinto, he was a mutual friend of both of ours. I had him on the guilt. You doubled down on the guilt after you had him? After I had him on.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I think I made you feel more guilty after Jesse.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Well, he was one of my very first guests. Right.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Because he started as being basically a human being and he should be your first guest, but because we had just done the play, I was like, okay, now you're dead to me. And then you had Zach Quinto on, and you doubled down and then you asked me to do it, and I was like, oh, no, it's a joke. You shouldn't put me on this. I don't have anything.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then do you want to know what? You can hold this over my head. Zach Quinto actually came on for a second time. He's been on twice now.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Well, this has been great. Thank you guys so much for watching. You had Quinto twice.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Because for Brilliant Minds.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. We want to talk about brilliant minds. Yeah, yeah. And also wanted to see what new.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Vocabulary he had to say.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I wanted to see what new vocabulary words he was using.

[Patrick J. Adams]

What did you get? Do you have any good ones? I've been catching his press tour on Brilliant Minds. He is a very good speaker. He's a great speaker. I don't know how he does it, but he just pulls out.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I know, but you said that you were upset that I didn't. That I invited Jesse Williams to the Dodgers game. I was.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Oh, yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And not you.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Was that a World Series game?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

First game of the World Series, yes.

[Patrick J. Adams]

So we did a play about baseball.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's right.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I don't know if you remember that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Vaguely remember you.

[Patrick J. Adams]

And it was a big part of our lives and really the foundation of our.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Of our friendship.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Of our undying love for one another. And then you went to the World Series recently, First game. Yeah, with Jesse, who played the star.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Player of the play.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I don't know why we have to throw the word star around. So figuring. And I don't recall getting an invitation, and I just saw it on a text chain on our baseball text.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, we have a cat interrupt. But I see you way more than I suggested. That's the thing. I never see Jesse.

[Patrick J. Adams]

So you only want to take him to the fancy things. I'm like your private friend. Yeah, Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I don't want anyone to know about.

[Patrick J. Adams]

This, but when you. It's too secret. Well, you know what? The jokes, it turns out it's fine because I don't actually watch baseball. Know how to enjoy a baseball game.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Hi. How are you?

[Sincha]

Sorry, I didn't mean to.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, it's fine. Please.

[Sincha]

Nice to meet you. I'm Sincha.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Nice to meet you.

[Patrick J. Adams]

What's your name? What is that? What kind of name?

[Sincha]

Portuguese. Brazilian. Brazilian.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's a beautiful name.

[Sincha]

Yeah. Welcome to Marco Polo.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

My husband is Portuguese.

[Sincha]

Of course.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Well, did you say your husband's Portuguese?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Justin's Portuguese.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I didn't know that.

[Sincha]

Yeah, yeah. We already have water on the table. I have the first question for you. Do you have any dietary restrictions or allergies at all?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

What's making you dizzy these days, Patrick? God, no.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I eat everything.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, I don't have any dietary restrictions. Perfect.

[Sincha]

That makes it super easy.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I eat it all, and it all looks.

[Sincha]

A few recommendations?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes, please.

[Sincha]

And then we can go from there.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Okay.

[Sincha]

It's your first time here, right?

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Cool.

[Sincha]

Welcome, guys.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Thank you.

[Sincha]

So I definitely recommend the focaccia, guys. It's really nice. Oh, it's got some rosemary, tomatoes, olive oil. Super tasty. The grilled prawns, if you like seafood, definitely go for that one. It does have the salsa verde and the pistachios on top. Then for a salad, I would recommend either the cucumber and avocado salad or the andive Caesar. Moving on to pasta, I would say the linguine bungoli with clams is amazing, as well as the pacola vodka if you want something a little more creamy.

[Patrick J. Adams]

How do you normally do this? Do you normally just, like, order up? Just. Just get a murderer's row of delicious food?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. And then I say, you know what? Dinner's on me.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Oh, you're paying for this, too.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Oh, that's great. We'll get one of everything.

[Sincha]

That always works.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Out too. No. Can we get the focaccia? Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yes, of course. Focaccia. What about grilled prawns? That sounded good.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. I'll have to grow prawns. I was kind of eyeing the Italian chop salad. Yep.

[Sincha]

It's really good.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yep. You were just eyeing it, but you weren't sure.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, I think I want that.

[Patrick J. Adams]

But you're going to do it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Share it with me if you want. What are you having?

[Patrick J. Adams]

I'm going to do the bongo, but again, we should share it and have some together.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I want some of that. I want some of that.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Oh, and then I saw you had like spritzes or something.

[Sincha]

In the front we have liars and Malfi sp. That's non alcoholic. Super delicious. We serve that on ice in a ball glass. And we also have a non alcoholic Peroni.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Let's do the spritz.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That spritz sounds nice.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Why don't we just get a couple of spritzes?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Let's do it.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Just a couple of guys having a spritz.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

A couple dudes catching up over spritzes.

[Patrick J. Adams]

In their blue French painter.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Jack in their blue workman outfits.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I love it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, my God. It's really funny.

[Patrick J. Adams]

That is funny.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You already mentioned that. Take me out store. Our friendship.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Our friendship began. Well, no. Do we want to tell the story of how we actually met? Because it doesn't paint you in the best.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. But I'm willing to be vulnerable. Also, I don't remember the event, the sequence of events as you recorded.

[Patrick J. Adams]

So it's not memorable.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I do remember vaguely meeting you. Why don't you just tell the story? Let me just.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I'm gonna tell it as nicely as possible. You can tell it as well. I don't have a judgment about it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

As nicely as possible.

[Patrick J. Adams]

What's that hotel in New York where the Titanic passengers.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The Jane Street Hotel.

[Patrick J. Adams]

The Jane Street Hotel. I was meeting Zach at the bar there to come say hello and walked into the bar to find him. And you guys were there together having a chat. And I said hi and introduced myself. Here's what I think happened. You were at the height of Modern Family at that moment. And I think when that happens, people, you get stopped and recognized a lot by people. And in comes this guy that sort of knows Zach and immediately was like, hey, really good to meet you and introduce you. I think you thought I might be just a sort of random person coming and bothering you and your friend Zach. I don't think you fully understood.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I didn't put it together that I.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Was, like, a friend of Zach's, that your Modern Family fame was not an issue for me. So you just were. You were a touch standoffish in the moment.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's what you said. Yes, I did say to you afterwards. I was like. I wasn't sure. I feel like what happened was probably this is when Zach was. Was. He wasn't in a committed relationship. I love that we're talking about Zach.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I don't remember that. I don't remember that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I feel like Zach was not in a committed relationship, and he. I was meeting a lot of guys he was sort of dating, and I thought maybe this was, like, his most recent fling. And I was like, I'm not gonna get to know you too well until.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Like, I'm honored that you would cast me in that role, you know, because Zach, you know, he's got a lot of beautiful men. He has, in his time, had a lot of beautiful men in his life.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But was this when had suits already started at this point?

[Patrick J. Adams]

I think so. Yes. Yes. All right. Again, I don't remember, like, the exact timeline.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I just.

[Patrick J. Adams]

But I remember I was like, well, that guy doesn't like me. And when I found out we were going to do the play together, I went, oh, he doesn't like me. And when I told you this story.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

For the first time, it was in rehearsal.

[Patrick J. Adams]

You were mortified.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Mortified, yes. You don't want to be told that, like, someone had a bad experience before.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Of course not. But I never took it personally. Just that's what I was going to say. Although I give you a lot of crap for it, I always was like, no, it's a weird thing when someone shows up out of nowhere and interrupts your drink with your friend. So, yeah, it's okay. We let it go.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But we became extremely close in that process. Oh, my God. This looks like a fallen aperol spritz. It's beautiful.

[Patrick J. Adams]

And Amalfi.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And Amalfi spritz.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Thank you so much.

[Sincha]

You're very welcome.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

We do.

[Patrick J. Adams]

We should do this on Vega. Let's take this on the road. Thank you so much. Cheers. Thanks.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

We do, like, we look like a very fashionable gay couple on vacation in the Amalfi coast. Oh, not my straw.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Ciao.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Ciao.

[Patrick J. Adams]

What episode are we on right now?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, God, like, 75 or something.

[Patrick J. Adams]

It feels like a 75. What's it like being on the 75th episode of your podcast? I'm just starting a podcast.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I know.

[Patrick J. Adams]

So what's It.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I've got. I feel like I've gotten more relaxed into it.

[Patrick J. Adams]

You've chill now.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. I mean, I was. I know you probably can relate to this, but I had. Because we've talked about this. I have. I have terrible, terrible imposter syndrome. And I just felt like when we were.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Because you don't.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I always talk about how nervous I am about everything, which is essentially imposter syndrome.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I just do a better job of hiding it. You're very. You're very vocal, very open. No, I mean that you can. You're communicative.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yes, I talk about.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You talk about it, which is great.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I have to. The only way I can.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You have to get it out. Yeah, I'm not.

[Patrick J. Adams]

But you don't have it anymore.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I do still have. I have it around this.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Because this was new.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

This was new. But I've gotten. But it's eased up. But do you have it ever at.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Work anymore, getting onto a set or going.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I had to take me out because.

[Patrick J. Adams]

That part was so famous.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That part was, in my mind, famously played by an actor who won a Tony Award for it, whose performance I vividly remembered. Got it.

[Patrick J. Adams]

But I was always like, oh, he's got it figured out. I'll just do what he does.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, I definitely feel comfortable on stage and it's. It's. I probably feel more comfortable on stage than I do in front of a camera, but I still feel like each job sets brings its own set of, you know, neuroses. Like, I just.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Even after all those years on Modern Family, you say you feel more. You more comfortable on stage.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, because I was 11 years in the same part. Like, for me, I think it's just like, how do I carve? And that actually makes me more nervous to play parts now because people know me as this character for 11 years, I have to work extra hard to crawl out from that hole to like, make people look at me in a different way. I feel like I have more work to do.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So it's actually sometimes that very job that was so successful is what makes me feel like I have imposter syndrome.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Sometimes the thing. I have it everywhere. You know me, how nervous I am about everything all the time. And I'm on a new job right now, and I'm nervous every day. It's not getting any better every single day. But I do find that once I actually get to work, like, once it begins, it's all anticipatory. But once I actually get to there and we start doing the Scene, and we do the first take, and we're going. I'm fine.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Now we're in the doing of it. We're not in the thinking about it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

But what's interesting is that wasn't the case with theater when we did the play, you know, which.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Because you kind of have to do and think at the same time. Yes.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I was just like, on stage. I kept being like, well, let's just get to stage, and the play will begin and it'll be okay. And the play would begin, and sometimes. Some days I'd be fine, and then other days I would just be in my head.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Okay, let's back up a little bit. Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah. Let's go.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Take Me out was your Broadway debut, but not your theatrical debut.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You've been on stage before?

[Patrick J. Adams]

Many times. Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You told me a very. I mean, it was a crazy story of something that happened to you on stage.

[Patrick J. Adams]

The panic attack.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The panic attack. And it made you very afraid to get back on stage, specifically on Broadway. Those look incredible.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Wow.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Those prawns. My God.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Oh, my goodness. Unbelievable.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Gorgeous. Thank you.

[Patrick J. Adams]

That looks so good.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Wait, you know what? I have to pee so bad.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Can we all come?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, Come on. Let's take this to the restroom. I'll be right back. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Patrick tells me about the nightmarish performance that kept him away from theater. Getting back on stage in Take Me out, and what led him to walking away from suits. Okay, be right back. So recently I've gotten back into somewhat of a consistent workout routine. But one thing I did realize, and I'm embarrassed to say this, is that some of my athleisure wear was looking a little worse for wear. I ended up doing a little refresh with some items from Quince. I got a few of the Flow knit Breeze performance tees and polo shirts. They're super comfy and lightweight. They look really great. And fun fact, the fabric is made from recycled water bottles. All right, but we gotta talk about the price. These shirts feel just as nice as the name brand shirts I have that were quadruple the price. Okay, how is this possible? Let me tell you. Quint's partners directly with factories, cutting out the cost of the middleman and passing the savings directly on to you. And I appreciate that they only work with factories that have safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices. Upgrade your wardrobe with pieces made to last with Quince. Go to Quince.com JTF for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C-E.com JTF to get free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a year, people. Quince.com JTF this episode is brought to.

[Patrick J. Adams]

You by Google Gemini. With the Gemini app, you can talk live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things, like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city, or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 to use Gemini live.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And we're back with more dinners on me. Oh, I'm back. I did not wash my hands. No, just kidding. I did.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I know that's a lie because you have water all over the front of your pants.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I know. I know. Because it splashed up. No, that was me urinating myself because I had to go that bad. I was thinking, like, when you sat down, I was like, I probably should have peed first. They're gorgeous. I just dropped some.

[Patrick J. Adams]

No.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Thank God.

[Patrick J. Adams]

These are great.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Wait, where's my napkin? Here it is. Okay. Will you sort of go back and tell that story?

[Patrick J. Adams]

Tell the story of being members on.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Stage, of having your worst moment ever on stage.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Will you tell the worst story of your life?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yes. Not the longest version of it, because who needs to hear that? But I did a play with Troian, my wife, down at the Old Globe in San Diego. It was in between seasons of Suits, when I was in that period of shooting a big fancy TV show where you're like, I need to do something that makes me feel creative and excited. In between. We went down to the Old Globe to do a play together. It was a new play, which I think as we were rehearsing it, both Troyan and I discovered we weren't in love with the play. And I think the playwright, each other.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, my God, you heard it here first. This.

[Patrick J. Adams]

We weren't in love with the play. And I think the people who were making the play, the writer and the director, were not really in love with us. Like, it was not a great fit. And anyway, I was on stage one night. It was one of these plays where you're on. When you get on stage, you're on stage the whole time. No one leaves or the two men. Me and the other guy didn't leave. I went out for the first part of the play. I went to open my mouth and I forgot the line for a second, which happens to all of us go up on the line. But for some reason on that night, didn't sleep well. The night before, whatever it was, I had a panic attack. The idea that I could forget the line flooded my body and I suddenly was like. It was one of these out of body experiences where I was suddenly seeing myself through the eyeballs of everybody in the theater. I started, I couldn't, I didn't understand where I was. I didn't know how to move, I didn't know how to speak. And I'm in the middle of a play, we're talking, doing the scene, but I'm moving towards the exit as I'm talking. And as I get to the exit and I'm still saying the lines, something in my head goes, if you leave the stage, you're going to have to come back and that's going to be 10 times worse. Like if you leave the stage, this is going to become a thing. So I managed to stay on stage and finish the play, but it was a nightmare. And what had been a really fun, always scary, always nerve wracking, but a really fun, amazing thing that I'd love to do, which is be on stage, suddenly became a nightmare. And the way that panic attacks work, I learned after that, is that once it's happened once, you can repeat it over and over again just by thinking about it. So I would get to the theater and feel good and be like, I think we're good. I'm not gonna have a panic attack. And as soon as I'd have that thought, I'd be flooded with it again. So it was like, don't think about the elephant in the room. Well, of course I'm gonna think about the elephant. And I would have a panic attack. And so every night I was repeating it. So that had been six years prior to Take Me out. And I was fairly certain I would never do a play again. I was like, if that's what it's like, I can't do it. And so when Scott Ellis, the director, came and asked me to do Take Me out, it was the same thing I told him. I don't know that. I was like, I love that you're asking me and it would be an honor. I just don't know that I can do it. But he said, this is your chance to fix that, essentially. And so I was terrified. Obviously, the idea of facing that down, let alone in a play where we had to be naked every night, you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Had to be fully naked. That's right. You also had to start off the play with direct address to the audience, which you told me is kind of your worst nightmare.

[Patrick J. Adams]

It was the panic. I had a panic in a direct address in a play about sports. So that was it. That was. Take Me out was about facing that down, and it was never comfortable.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, I mean, it's interesting as I watched you through that entire process, you know, and you came first of all, day one with. You were completely memorized.

[Patrick J. Adams]

So. Well, I mean, that was just the fear, right? I was like, I can't.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You're overly prepared. Overly prepared.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But it was also one of those things where we started rehearsal, the pandemic happened. We stopped. We had, like, basically a year and a half to think about. About it, and then all came back.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I was so happy about the pandemic.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, I know you remember that because.

[Patrick J. Adams]

We were, like, two weeks from having an audience, and I was, like, starting to get panicky. I was. I heard about this pandemic that was coming. I was like, please, please, I need to go home. I don't want to go home.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, God. You were talking about it way before anyone else was.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yes, I was. But, yeah, I never got comfortable. You know, like, usually when I'm facing down a fear, you find a repetitiveness. But there was something about Broadway, the first experience of that, the new audience every single night. Also, I struggled, you know, I struggled with that part a bit. It was a struggle to, like, get lost in it, enjoy that part of the process, have no ego about it. But at the same time, like, wouldn't give it up for the world because it was an incredible group of people.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's interesting. I mean, we were a very tight cast, and there was a lot of support within the company. And a lot of us, you know, would watch backstage on the monitor, and, you know, we'd watch you do your. You had several monologues in the play. And we've always just found your performance to be so, like, strong and consistent. And, like, you would come off and be like, God, I was so dizzy. I don't remember anything. I was on the brink of it. I had a panic. I was having a panic attack the entire time. Like, well, Jesus. I mean. I mean, if you could do that during a panic attack. I don't. Like, I truly didn't understand how you were.

[Patrick J. Adams]

That was the consistency. It was funny you'd bring up. You'd mentioned the consistency, because I was like, it is true. Like, I. And it makes no sense. I'm Going out there thinking I'm gonna die, like, it's all gonna go wrong and I'm gonna drop the ball. And yet, because I'm so scared of it, it never happens.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

At times it's too wooden. Like, it's too planned. Like, what I want as an actor is to be really relaxed. Like, watching you every night, you had the beats and the things you'd figured out, but you were also relaxed enough that things would happen and you would roll with it, and new things would come out of that that were amazing to watch. My fear would keep me consistent, but it would also keep me sometimes from, like, relaxing enough to just let something happen and, like, go with it. There were certain nights where I'd get there and I'd feel it, but few and far between. It's interesting.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And, I mean, you know, Jesse's talked about this. He still makes fun of him, himself for it, but, like, he would. He would go up on his lines all the time, at least, like, once a week. But he, you know, he navigated through it in his own way.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Jesse is an example to me of the exact opposite of what I'm talking about, which is, like, a level of. And I don't know what's going on in Jesse's head. And everybody has their own things, but he has a level of confidence and calm and faith that it's all going to be fine no matter what.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

That I would just be in awe of. And we shared a dressing room, so it was like, the two of us, this, like, energy of, like, me bouncing off the walls.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Your side of the dressing room, what looked like the.

[Patrick J. Adams]

The Rainforest cafe.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So many Mr. Steamers music and just soft lighting. And Jesse's side was like a boy.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Just, like, got a couple pictures, and I'm gonna take a nap.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

There's also, I mean, talking about the nudity in the play. One of my favorite moments of the entire experience was when we were in the technical rehearsal for the play, which is, you know, we were on stage, they were working. And the nudity takes place in this play because it's about a baseball team. And there's several scenes that take place in the showers, and you have these conversations while you're showering with other men on stage. So they were working in the water. You know, you all were wearing bathing suits while we were attacking, so you don't have to stand there naked. And then it was like, the day that Scott Ellis, our director, was like, okay, so today's the day. I think that we're all just Going to go for it, Go for it. So, you know, the scene takes place. All these people parade, all these baseball players parade onto stage, you being one of them. And you take off your towels and you are the only one naked.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Wait, I don't even really.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Like, I'm the only one who got the mem.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You were the only one who was like, okay, I'm actually gonna go. I'm gonna go do this. I guess maybe Scott, like, put it out in a way, like, if you feel comfortable, go ahead. And you were like, yeah, let's go. I think we're all doing it together.

[Patrick J. Adams]

The one guy who's not comfortable is the one guy that's like.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And you stopped rehearsal and you said.

[Patrick J. Adams]

What are we doing? What are we doing?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You don't remember this?

[Patrick J. Adams]

I've clearly blocked it out. Sounds like something I would block out.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You're like, I thought we were. I thought we were doing this. What's the deal? Like, every other guy on stage was wearing a bathing suit. And then they all were like, okay, okay, we'll do it. And like, they took off their shoes.

[Patrick J. Adams]

It was a nice. It was really. I mean, I'd. I think that part of it in its entirety, I blocked out because it was almost so I am the least exhibitionist person in the world. I do not. I don't want my clothes off.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I want to wear all my clothes. I want layers. And so to have to be in front of that many people every night, it was so intense that I do feel like I had to go into a different. It's almost weird because while you would think that would be the most nerve wracking part of. Of the night, it was so intense that I think I actually truly had to leave my body every night.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Wow.

[Patrick J. Adams]

And like, I don't remember it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's pretty admirable though, when you. When you look back into how you started this experience and it is your.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Broadway debut, it's like the perfect storm of everything.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And yet you fucking killed it. You were incredible.

[Patrick J. Adams]

And it was the experience of a lifetime. And we all made friends and. And the truth is, I love theater. Like, I love it. And so the idea that it wouldn't be a part of my life anymore was so sad.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Can we get a few more share plates? I'm going to put this one aside. Thank you so much. Saucy, saucy, saucy. Those are delicious, by the way. First of all, we're on the same page or something. What?

[Patrick J. Adams]

I don't have a one thing that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

We'Re on the same page about one thing.

[Patrick J. Adams]

What?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I've just now started to watch Suits.

[Patrick J. Adams]

You're watching it?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Right now? Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Oh, wow.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And I didn't know that you didn't watch Suits.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah. Never seen it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And you're watching it now for the first time as part of this Rewatch podcast that you started with Sarah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Well, you can imagine why I'm not watching Suits. Absolutely. Would you watch Modern Family?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I would, I think because I was such a fan of the ensemble.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I felt like I had to. I wanted to watch what they were doing, and so I had to sort of watch myself as well.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I could see that. I mean, an amazing group of people.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But you never watched. You said you'd watched the pilot.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Obviously, I watched the pilot. I'd seen a few episodes, but I could not watch it with any consistency. I would get two in my head. And then something about the resurgence a couple of years ago, and then seeing that all these people were doing these rewatch shows and thinking, like, wait a minute, is that we could do that? Like, it would be fun to a. I love podcasts, and I love being able to sit and talk to Sarah and other people along the way, but, like, to formalize the process of it, to be able to, like.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Like it's an assignment for it.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah. Like, just this thing that we've put on the shelf and pretended it was just sort of over. Now we get to face it and, like, create a dialogue around it, and it suddenly isn't this. This. This sort of shadowy thing in the back anymore.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, the show was on USA originally, but it did well, right? It was doing well for usa.

[Patrick J. Adams]

It did really well. Yeah. I don't. But I don't think we did anything like what just happened on Netflix a couple of summers ago.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right. So, yeah. What. I mean, was it during the pandemic that people were sort of finding the show again?

[Patrick J. Adams]

It wasn't the pandemic. It was. That was the Office. Right. I think the Office was like, kind of what happened in the Pandemic. And then our show did a similar thing during the strike, but it certainly reached a whole new audience of people, and all the people who watched it the first time watched it again. So it was just, you know, and I felt it in the world, going through the airport or whatever. I was like, suddenly people were interested in Mike Ross again. I was like, what's happening? I thought this was over. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Because it was pretty far in your rearview mirror.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah. At that point where I Was, like, really comfortable having it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Well, I think we're both proud of what we put out.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Well, you know, I don't know that I was before. And I think what we're doing with the podcast is maybe trying to check into that a little bit more. The pride. Not pride solely, but gratitude. Enjoy around it and be like, look at what we did. This is really good.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Now, the show ran for nine seasons, but you left after seven, right?

[Patrick J. Adams]

I left at seven, yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I don't know if you ever told me why you did that.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I mean, it was a bunch of different things. Mostly I felt. I. I felt done, I guess the character. The show starts, obviously you're watching it now, you know, very much like, my character has a lie and a secret, and he's in this firm. Right. So there just was all this sort of interesting stuff to play for a guy who was lying and hiding out, and the only person who knew his secret is this other guy. And over the course of seven seasons, that was all peeled away and everybody knew everything. So by the end of the seventh season, I was just a lawyer at a law firm, and Megan was obviously on the show. And we at that point were. I think we got married at the end of the seventh season. Spoiler alert. It just all had happened, and I was like, where do we go from here?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Meghan Markle, by the way, we should have specified.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I'm not sure if you've heard of Meghan Markle. So, like, we, you know, I knew she was leaving, obviously, and I was like, the only reason to do this is money. I talked to him. I remember talking to my mom.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Know, thinking that she would be like, well, you got to do this. It's like, financially, you have to do this. It's responsible. Just you've already put in this much time, put in two more years. But really she was the one that was like, is the only reason you're doing this for money? I was like, that would be the only reason to stay at this point.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right.

[Patrick J. Adams]

And again, I loved everybody. It wasn't like I had any problem. It was just like, I've done it. You know, when you reach the end of a thing, there's nothing more. I don't know what else to offer. And she said, then you should go. You should be done.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I think it's great. I think if you feel like you're at that place where you sort of given what you can give and you feel comfortable moving on.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think about the money, do you think about the money that Gabriel made in those last two years? But, but at the same time, like, no, you know, I never regretted the decision for a second. I knew it was the right thing. I knew it was the right thing for my marriage, which I was not married at the time, but we were getting married. We got married in 2016 and like, we had been away from each other for seven years. We've been together the whole time. Suits had been on and I was like, time, like we had been long distance for long enough. It was time for us to start our lives. We wanted to get married, we wanted to, to be together. We wanted to have kids, which we knew would take, you know, a couple of years before we were comfortable doing that. So it was the longer I stayed in Toronto doing that show too, the longer I was, like, putting on hold this life that I knew I wanted.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

And it was time to realize that, like, money is great, but it wasn't, you know, I'd made enough money that I could go and, like, have my life now.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Patrick tells me about how he dealt with neuroses and nudity on stage, coping with seven years of long distance with wife Troian Bellisario, and how thankful he is not to be 25 anymore. Okay, be right back. This episode is brought to you by Dutch Bros. Get stoked for all the holly jolly vibes this season at Dutch Bros. Stay cozy with returning winter faves.

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[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

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[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Remember to ask for Botox cosmetic by name. To see for yourself and learn more, visit botoxcosmetic.com that's BotoxCosmetic. And we're back with more dinners on me. How much of a conscious effort did it take to maintain a seven year relationship? Long distance, I mean.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Well, the gift of that was that she was on a show too, right? She was doing Pretty Little Liars. And so for us, we were having this shared experience in a way. Different shows, different people, different struggles, but also similar things coming up. And so we had this, like, unique. Even though we were far away, we had this unique perspective on what the other one was going through. Like, we could get it. You know, we got exactly what was happening, and we were both really busy. Like, it wasn't like one person was sitting at home and not working while the other person, you know, which creates a real different dynamic. Like, we were both on set all the time, working all the time, and our seasons usually lined up. So, like, when she stopped, her season was usually around where mine would stop. So we would get, like, three or four months to be together and go travel and do whatever we wanted to do, and then we'd both go back to work and be so busy that you didn't have time.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That sounds awesome.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Actually, now that we look back all the time, that's the only tattoo I have on my body is, you know, that from. We both have seven years on our body because, you know, it felt like a prison sentence when we were doing it. But now when stuff that, like, rocks other couples doesn't have any effect on us.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

We have all of our own problems, and it's not perfect, but, like, our resilience and our ability to communicate when we need to communicate and, like, move through things quickly is a direct result, I think, of having to maintain a relationship over so much distance and so much time. Yeah. And it's. It ended up being a real gift. It was very hard, very painful at times, very close to not working out, and just, you know, the distance almost consumed us. But the fact that we survived it, I think, made us way stronger.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. I have looked to you a lot because I'm on a journey to, like, have a better relationship with my mental health, and I'm rethinking my relationship with alcohol. You have been someone that I've talked to a lot about that, because I think that you. I appreciate the way you take care of yourself. Thank you. And I'm glad I'm doing it. Like, I'm doing things I need to do to take care of myself.

[Patrick J. Adams]

You feel good?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I do. I do. I feel like, specifically being a dad of young kids, which, you know, we both are.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's helped me stay present in a way that, you know, as an actor, when you sometimes are present, you know, we're talking about, like, being away from family for a while, and, like, you know, you want every moment that you spend with your children specifically and your spouse to be completely, I don't know, you want to be completely present for those moments.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And sometimes, sometimes, sometimes you want to go away.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Sometimes you deeply don't want to be present. But yes, the hope is that you want to be as present as possible.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, that's right. And I do feel like for me it's definitely refocused my, I don't know, I guess, ability to be present in the moment with them, which I think has been important for me.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Everything you said is exactly kind of what happened to me too. And I guess off of our suits conversation, you know, the other thing that wasn't mentioned was I wasn't taking good care of my mental health and I was drinking too much. Come the end of seventh season, like I was in a zone of living a pretty unexamined life, was pretty miserable, was, sorry, getting over a cold, of course I always have a cold, was, I would say, pretty depressed. And I didn't have the tools to deal with that depression beyond just spending money and drinking too much, you know, and not really knowing how to talk about it or in therapy sort of, but not really doing it. You know what I mean? Like, there are all these things that I knew I needed to probably be doing and I wasn't doing. And so that was another big part. In addition to everything that we were talking about was like, it's time to go home. It's time to go home and like do some work and change some things up. Especially if I was gonna get married and have kids. Now I went home and didn't do a lot of that work right away.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Took a few years, but for the same reasons you just described. Had a baby and was seeing that I was still trying to live my life as a 25 year old and doing my patterns of like how I would numb myself and take care of myself and you know, deal with my insecurity and my fears and they just weren't working and they were taking a toll on, on my relationship for sure. But also just making me like a very not present father. And that for me was a breaking point. When I was like, I think I should stop drinking, probably because I don't want to be that dad. You know, I was missing it. But the best thing I think I ever did for myself was stop, stop drinking. It just needed to happen in order for all these other things to happen. There was really no way I was gonna take my mental health seriously, take my physical health seriously, work on my marriage, work on My friendships, you know, deal with my fears and my anxiety. I just couldn't have done any of it if alcohol was still in the picture.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You know, when we first started Take Me out in the hiatus that we were, when we all shut down for Covid and we were not in rehearsal is when you made a lot of changes in your life.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah, that's when I stopped drinking.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And when we came back to the play, you know, a lot of those vices that you had to manage, your anxiety were not accessible to you. What was that like? Because you. I mean, we spoke so much about how hard, you know, it was for you to get back on stage and, you know, and the culture around doing theater. You know, you go out with your cast after the show and you celebrate, and you have friends who come to the show and you go get drinks and like, that. I mean, that's what I would do. I've been a theater actor since I was, you know, a young kid. And that's like, what you. That's what you do.

[Patrick J. Adams]

That's what you do. That's what you look forward to.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, truly.

[Patrick J. Adams]

And I think for good reason, that it actually unwinds you. You've just come off this really ecstatic, crazy wired thing. And getting a couple of drinks actually does physically allow you to calm down.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're. I mean, adrenaline doesn't actually leave your body. It's like three in the morning anyway, so you get off stage.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah, yeah, that was hard. Yeah, that was hard. But again, it was like, at that point, I was so dialed into, like, this, I. Maybe it was a bit of, like, suffering is how you grow. So there was a bit of a. Bit of a, like, yeah, this sucks. But even more clear, because I want it so bad that I'm doing the right thing at the time. So I feel like that time of my life is so firmly over, and anytime I drift into the like. Yeah, but what if I. It's the same feeling of, like, what if I could be 20 again? It's like, you can't.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right.

[Patrick J. Adams]

It's not gonna work. Whatever idea you have of, like, what that is, is over now. And I have this new, beautiful existence with new relationships and people that rely on me in a way that they couldn't totally rely on me before, and two little beautiful children who I get to hang out with and try and be a good dad to, and can always be better. There's always better, more work to do there, you know, a career. Thank God that I still have an. Opportunities to do that. So, yeah, it was, it was a hard transition, but I think it's the best thing that I ever did.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Well, you're an inspiration. You've definitely, like, inspired me to. To look at my life and make changes. And I know. I really appreciate your friendship and your guidance through all that. You're the first person I called when I was feeling like I wanted to make changes.

[Patrick J. Adams]

So that really moved me because, like, I'm always surprised when anybody calls me for anything because it is a moment like that where you go, oh, my God, I can be helpful. Like, yeah, anyone wants my help or idea about something. I've put you on such a pedestal in so many ways that when you called me to chat about that, I was very moved and felt like it felt serious. Like, like, oh, don't mess this up. You got to help. How do I help?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You've done an incredible job.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Thank you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm really happy that you have this podcast. I'm glad they're watching your work because you are really good on it. I'm also excited that this podcast exists because I actually, I am. I am watching the show and I kind of love that there's a companion podcast that I love that you're watching it.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I have watched your show, so I'm.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Glad you didn't know each other. We didn't. We weren't.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Yeah, I wasn't watching it for you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I obviously had no idea who you are.

[Patrick J. Adams]

In fact, you were the. We were the worst part of it. I had to fast forward through your stuff. No, I loved it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Thanks for doing this.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Thanks for having me.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm glad it finally worked out. Glad you're healthy enough, you're in town, you're. You're willing.

[Patrick J. Adams]

I'm planning again for another two weeks. Two, three weeks.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Good. Yeah, good.

[Patrick J. Adams]

Why do I get so sick?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You get sick all. You're like the tiniest little baby bird.

[Patrick J. Adams]

But I'm not. I'm strong. I'm made of strong stuff.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I had to feed you your meal with a baby dropper. This episode of Dinners on Me was recorded at Marco Polo at Silver Lake Pool and Inn in Silver Lake, California. Next week on Dinners on Me. You know her from her Oscar winning performance in the film Pollock and her Oscar nominated turn in the movie mystic river as well as her new kids podcast Snoreys. It's Marcia Gay Harden. We'll talk about her time as an original cast member in Angels in America on Broadway, being a mom to three queer kids, and her physical fight with a director over a wig. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners On Me. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinners on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinners on Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Angela Vanguard. Sam Baer engineered this episode, Hans Dale. She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tamika Balance Kolasny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.