TROIAN BELLISARIO — on dating Patrick J. Adams long distance while on hit shows and having her second child in a parking garage

Summary

Episode Summary: TROIAN BELLISARIO — on Dating Patrick J. Adams Long Distance While on Hit Shows and Having Her Second Child in a Parking Garage

Posted on March 4, 2025

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Introduction

In this heartfelt and candid episode of Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson, host Jesse Tyler Ferguson sits down with acclaimed actress Troian Bellisario, best known for her role in "Pretty Little Liars." Produced by Sony Music Entertainment and A Kid Named Beckett Productions, the conversation delves deep into Troian's personal and professional life, offering listeners an intimate glimpse into her experiences navigating the complexities of acting, relationships, and motherhood.

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Early Career and Family Background

Troian begins by sharing insights into her upbringing in a family deeply entrenched in the television industry. Her father, a prolific creator and showrunner behind iconic series such as "Magnum P.I.", "Airwolf", "Quantum Leap", "NCIS", "JAG", and the short-lived "First Monday," played a significant role in shaping her career.

[12:13] Troian Bellisario: "For Magnum PI, Airwolf, Quantum Leap, NCIS, JAG, this other show that was first lived, short-lived, called First Monday. Like all of those shows were his creations."

Jesse notes the overlap between Troian’s father's work and Dick Wolf’s productions, leading to Elliot Wolf, Dick’s son, becoming an executive producer and writer for Troian’s current project, "On Call."

[12:25] Troian Bellisario: "Elliott Wolf is one of our executive producers, our writers, and our showrunners of On Call."

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Transition to "Pretty Little Liars"

Despite being aware of "Pretty Little Liars" through discussions with colleagues like Eric Stonestreet and Sofia Vergara, Troian admits she only watched the pilot after befriending Jesse’s then-co-star, Patrick J. Adams.

[03:14 - 03:20] Jesse Tyler Ferguson: "I was late to the game.... Emma recounts, 'I know you’re using firearms and running around in bulletproof vests...'"

Troian discusses the intensive training she underwent to prepare for her role, highlighting the stark contrast between her glamorous role in "Pretty Little Liars" and her current position as a beat cop in "On Call."

[10:00] Troian Bellisario: "It's a half-hour drama and it's kind of like a procedural. You gotta solve the case by the end of the episode."

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Managing a Long-Distance Relationship with Patrick J. Adams

Troian and Jesse delve into Troian’s relationship with Patrick J. Adams, chronicling the challenges they faced while maintaining a long-distance relationship during the early years of their career.

[20:38] Troian Bellisario: "So Patrick came home at like, 10 or something... and I went into labor four hours later."

They discuss the logistics of balancing demanding shooting schedules, frequent travel, and early career stages while fostering a strong partnership. Troian shares humorous anecdotes about the disconnection periods they experienced, emphasizing the resilience required to sustain their bond.

[22:44] Jesse Tyler Ferguson: "It's a testament to how much... commitment to one another."

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Imposter Syndrome and Personal Growth

Both hosts touch upon the pervasive issue of imposter syndrome, with Troian revealing her struggles despite her evident successes.

[32:16] Jesse Tyler Ferguson: "You have to have an answer for everything. And everybody's gonna turn to you."

Troian offers practical advice to Jesse, who is contemplating directing his first feature film, encouraging him to embrace the role with confidence and draw upon his empathetic nature as an actor.

[35:04] Troian Bellisario: "Get in the habit of really getting in everybody's business... It all feeds your ideas."

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A Remarkable Labor Story

The episode reaches a poignant and dramatic climax as Troian recounts the extraordinary circumstances surrounding the birth of her second child, Elliot. Amidst Patrick’s work commitments during the COVID-19 pandemic, Troian found herself in labor in their car’s parking garage, leading to an unforgettable birthing experience.

[41:21] Troian Bellisario: "So I had just graduated college... I just crawled into the bathroom and... went into labor."

[42:29] Troian Bellisario: "It was the week before her due date and it's like three days before he's supposed to come home."

As Patrick rushed back, Troian’s unexpected transformation during labor turned the parking garage into a chaotic yet joyful scene.

[46:30] Troian Bellisario: "Cause I was giving birth and I thought, I don't know if I passed out... my hands were in the child's seat, and my butt was, like, facing the dash."

The couple humorously references their experience with security footage, underscoring the surreal nature of the event.

[47:21] Troian Bellisario: "We found out it was his first day on the job."

Patrick received honorary scrubs for his heroic yet messy intervention, preserving the memory as a cherished family story.

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Closing Thoughts

The episode concludes with Troian reaffirming the strength of her relationship and the profound joy and challenges of motherhood. Jesse expresses his admiration for Troian’s resilience and the deep connection she shares with Patrick.

[48:40] Jesse Tyler Ferguson: "I'm absolutely gonna do it. Dinner is on me."

[48:42] Troian Bellisario: "That's ridiculous."

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Notable Quotes

• Troian Bellisario [12:44]: "You have to have an answer for everything. And everybody's gonna turn to you."
• Jesse Tyler Ferguson [25:08]: "That is awesome."
• Troian Bellisario [46:30]: "Cause I was giving birth and I thought, I don't know if I passed out."

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Conclusion

This episode of Dinner’s on Me offers a blend of humor, vulnerability, and inspiring storytelling. Troian Bellisario's openness about her personal struggles, career transitions, and miraculous birth story provides listeners with a profound appreciation of the complexities behind the public personas of Hollywood actors. Jesse Tyler Ferguson masterfully navigates the conversation, ensuring that Troian's experiences resonate deeply with the audience.

For more engaging conversations and exclusive content, consider subscribing to Dinner’s on Me PLUS on Apple Podcasts to access new episodes one week early and enjoy an ad-free experience.

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Produced by Sony Music Entertainment and A Kid Named Beckett Productions. Follow more great podcasts at sonymusic.com/podcasts and on Twitter @sonypodcasts.

Transcript

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The other day, I was making lemonade with my sons, Beckett and Sully, and Beckett is a little bit of a perfectionist. I'm not sure where he gets that from. It's me. It's definitely me. But he was getting really upset about the seeds falling into the juice, and it was turning into a bit of high drama. Now, listen, there's an easier way to do this. Who knew? Wonderful seedless lemons are a 100% naturally seedless lemon variety. They're juicy, zesty, bright, and everything you love about lemons, minus the See, that's right. No more seeds floating in your lemonade or Diet Coke or getting caught in your teeth when you take a bite of salad. Frankly, that's just a hazard. Wonderful seedless lemons are available nationwide at retailers such as Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Walmart, Kroger, as well as select Costco outlets. Look for wonderful seedless lemons at your local retailer or visit wonderfulseedlesslemons.com to learn more. February is here, which means some of you snowbirds are packing up and heading somewhere warmer. I've been traveling a lot myself. I'm actually scouting some spots for a very special upcoming episode of Dinners on Me. And let's just say Salt Lake City is looking very promising, all thanks to Airbnb. And if you're leaving town for the season, why not let your home do a little work while you're off enjoying the sunshine? With Airbnb's new local co hosting feature, you can have a trusted local take care of everything, guest messages, check ins, even keeping things stylish so you can relax knowing your home and your guests are in good hands. So go ahead, chase that warm weather and let your home do the work for you. Visit Airbnb.com host for more information. Hi, it's Jesse. Today on the show. You know her from Pretty Little Liars and her latest Amazon prime series on call. It's Troy and Bellisario.

[Troian Bellisario]

I started animorphing into a full feral animal in the front seat of the car. Yeah. Howling.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Cause you were giving birth.

[Troian Bellisario]

Cause I was giving birth.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

This is Dinner's on Me. And I'm your host, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. The hair and makeup team is the heartbeat of almost every television and film set. It's the first stop for the actors, usually at a painfully early hour of the morning, where we roll out of bed and into the chair to be transformed. It's also where some of the best conversations the hair and makeup trailer. One of my favorite parts of any workday is Settling into that chair, coffee in hand, mask patches under my eyes, and more often than not, red dye in my beard. Yes, without a little maintenance, my red beard is actually pretty gray. Some of my most memorable chats happened in the Modern Family hair and makeup trailer, surrounded by the talented cast that I love so much. I remember one morning in particular listening to Sofia Vergara, Sarah Hyland, and Eric Stonestreet passionately dissect the latest episode of their new favorite show, Pretty Little Liars. They were obsessed, insisting that I had to start watching immediately, but for whatever reason, I never did. There's only so much TV one can fit into a week, and my plate was already very full with RuPaul's Drag Race, raising Hope, the Walking Dead, and Downton Abbey. Flash forward more than a decade, and I finally watched the pilot of Pretty Little Liars, but only because I became friends with one of its stars, Troian Belisario. Our paths crossed thanks to her husband, Patrick Adams, my co star in the Broadway revival of Take Me Out. Patrick was also a guest on Dinners on Me a few months ago, giving us the rare chance to have bookended conversations with a couple I greatly admire. Though Troian and I have spent countless hours together in group settings, we've never had one on one time until now. And I was so thrilled to take her out for a meal, chat about her Amazon prime show on call, and finally confess just how late I was to discovering the show that that launched her career, Pretty Little Liars. Hi.

[Troian Bellisario]

Which side am I coming to?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Here. Hello. Hello. I brought Troy and Belisario to Lupiat Kitchen in Los Feliz. It's in its fifth year serving the neighborhood, and the cafe is run by local filmmakers Ben Proudfoot, Brandon Somerhalder and David Bolin, who also collaborate next door at the Oscar winning Breakwater Studios. Loupiat Kitchen feels like a little Parisian escape with cozy tables, warm lighting, and the kind of atmosphere that makes you want to linger over a latte and some of their beloved soft scraps scrambled eggs. It's got this charming French vibe and it's right in her neighborhood. I thought, why not break bread with Troyan over a little slice of Paris in our own backyard? Okay, let's get to the conversation. Are you unimpressed for today?

[Troian Bellisario]

I was. This morning I was on KCAL TV and I had these really big, like diamond Y earrings and I was like, I'm gonna take these off. And right before I left I was like, I can't take these off. And I was Kind of doing that, like, panic thing.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Have you ever. What do you mean you can't take them off?

[Troian Bellisario]

I couldn't figure out how to take them off. Oh, there were safety buttons.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Wait, now why would. Oh, I was gonna say, how would you get stuck in earrings?

[Troian Bellisario]

Exactly. Why would you ever get stuck in earrings? That's the dumbest thing in the world.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Do they really?

[Troian Bellisario]

Like, there's like, a safety release, but you can't see it behind your earlobe.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Because if it's a diamond, you don't want to fall out.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yes, exactly. And I just never had fancy enough earrings that they have their own safety release button.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Hilarious.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah. So first time for you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You deserve those earrings. Jane Lynch. One year when she was hosting the Emmys, we were walking out with her and I was like, you did so incredible. And she was, like, really distracted. She's like, I'm just really upset right now. I was like, why? You did incredible. She's like, no, I lost a pair of, like, million dollar earrings that were put on her. And like, she was nervous about, like, owing money.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Can you imagine?

[Troian Bellisario]

I mean, that's terrifying. Every time that they've, like, put something on me and they're like, by the way, this has its own security guard. And you're like, what?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

Why are you giving it to me?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Don't.

[Troian Bellisario]

Don't. Please don't put this on me.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I like to roll. So, like, I like the lowest profile. Like, I don't want to roll with anyone. I barely sometimes want to go anywhere with Justin, so I don't want a security guard, like, following me too.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah, totally. Or just following, like, your wrist around for the cufflinks.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's really all they care about. I've never worn anything that expensive that's required one, but I've been. I've been tempted to.

[Troian Bellisario]

I mean, always.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm starving.

[Troian Bellisario]

Because I am starving as well.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Just did a pilates class.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, yeah. Well, then let's get some food in you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm starved.

[Troian Bellisario]

Let's see. I mean, I'm definitely doing something with eggs. I have to. Sorry.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Hi. Oh, remember, hit your spot, Hit your mark.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, hi. So have you guys dined with us before?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes, we have been. A long time ago.

[Troian Bellisario]

All right, well, welcome back. Some new, exciting adjustments to the menu. So give it a look. See if you have any questions, let me know.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I definitely want some coffee, but I also want something refreshing and bub.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, we can do that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Is your lemonade sparkling?

[Troian Bellisario]

It's not. It's actually homemade.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Ooh. Yeah, I'll do it.

[Troian Bellisario]

Squeeze it on the premises.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I want premise squeezed lemonade, and I'm also gonna have some sparkling water as well.

[Troian Bellisario]

All right, I'm the same thing. And then maybe we can make it sparkly. Great. So two lemonades and a big sparkling waterfall. Yeah, we'll show that. I'll be right back with that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Thank you. Ooh, I'm gonna have to know what that cake of the day is, too.

[Troian Bellisario]

Okay, so what are you thinking?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I think I might go with. I do love a club sandwich, but the quiche is sounding really good too.

[Troian Bellisario]

I'm doing the quiche to get the quiche. If you want a bite of the quiche.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I just want a bite of it.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yes. Okay, then you get it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm gonna do the club. Yeah. I was thinking we never have had quality time together, so this is finally.

[Troian Bellisario]

It's very, very exciting.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Last time I saw you, I did not get any quality time with you because it was at your incredible Boxing Day party.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, my God. Thank you so much for coming to that and enduring the madness.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So last year, we came and we had to leave before white elephants.

[Troian Bellisario]

The game.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes, the game. Which I was. So I wasn't prepared for how insane your white elephant gets.

[Troian Bellisario]

You weren't.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So to explain white elephants, like, everyone brings a wrapped gift, usually under, like.

[Troian Bellisario]

Under $20 or $30 or something.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And what I always seem to remember is that it's usually like, something ridiculous that you want to get rid of. But with your group, it was really great stuff.

[Troian Bellisario]

When we decided to throw a Boxing Day party, I think the first year was last year, we were like, well, let's do a white elephant. Both of us were like, what is a white elephant?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look up the rules.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah. So we had to look up the rules and so that everybody kind of comes with their own idea, which is sometimes you want to do a total joke, and then other people will bring, like, very, very nice things. Your gifts were lovely.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

A Taylor Swift sweater.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yes. Which was a.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Which was a huge hit.

[Troian Bellisario]

Very, very desired item.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The person who won that item left the room so it couldn't be stolen.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah. It was a little bit dodgy. I will say she fully went missing, which is totally inappropriate because there were, like, several young girls in that room as well that just totally got shafted.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, that's right. There was children playing and adults playing. And the person that won the Taylor Swift sweater.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Was an adult firmly in adulthood and.

[Troian Bellisario]

Then just closed it. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

She was like, oh, I was sort of Saying like, where is that Taylor Swift sweater? I'd like to maybe steal it. That's part of the game. You can steal gifts for a little while.

[Troian Bellisario]

You're supposed to steal gifts.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You're supposed to. Right.

[Troian Bellisario]

And then the other big ticket item was the chicken purse, which did get called back into the room.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes, that's right. I brought the chicken purse as well.

[Troian Bellisario]

You did?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. That was my gift as well.

[Troian Bellisario]

These are amazing gifts.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Yeah. It was so fun. But I did not get to see you at all that night. So this is making me happy to see you.

[Troian Bellisario]

I'm very, very excited.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I know. You are promoting your new show. Have you seen On Call? Have you seen all eight episodes?

[Troian Bellisario]

I have, yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

What do you think? I mean, this is a.

[Troian Bellisario]

It's a cop show.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's Dick Wolf who's like the king of.

[Troian Bellisario]

He's the king of procedurals. But it's 30 minutes only.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

It's a half hour drama and it's kind of like, you know, procedural. You gotta solve the case by the end of the episode. And this one is really just about two cops kind of going from call to call to call. And there are long standing, like through lines of the characters that, you know, there's one major thing that happens that, you know, some of the crimes have to do with. But it's not like we close an episode and have solved a crime. Like, we can't solve crime. We're beat cops.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Right.

[Troian Bellisario]

You know, so it's a little bit more of like an episodic, like, character driven thing, which is really out of the box for Dick Wolf production.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Sure. Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

It's. It's crazy. It's so fast paced and it's really a huge change for me.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Like, totally different.

[Troian Bellisario]

Totally different.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, did you have to. I mean, from what I, what I, what I watch. I mean, you're, you know, you're using firearms and, you know, you're running around in like bulletproof vests and. I mean.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Training.

[Troian Bellisario]

All the gear. Yeah. But it was super fast. Even though it was bizarre because it was like we were cast. We were up and shooting like two weeks later, maybe a week and a half. So we got training in there as best we could and then we were kind of doing, you know, trial by fire. Like, do you remember what to say? Do you remember how to stand? Do you. So it was, it was a really wonderful experience and it was just also so new for me to be a. Playing somebody my age.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I know. I want to talk about that.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah, that was a big change. And playing somebody that's totally like Pretty Little Liars was entirely glam. You know, it was all about the makeup, all about the clothes, all about the hair and the drama within that container. And this was like, you know, they do not give a shit about. All right, are we ready to order some food to start?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes, yes.

[Troian Bellisario]

Do you want to go first?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, sure. I'm going to do the Le Club, please.

[Troian Bellisario]

Excellent choice. I'm going to do the vegetarian quiche du jour to do the spinach and goat cheese one. Absolutely. It also comes with some zucchini, if that's okay. That's great. Fantastic. All right, I'll put those in. You want to hold on to the menus? Yes, please.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Before I talk about Pretty Little Liars, I want to. Your dad was also heavily involved in Magnum PI Was it? Was he. What capacity was so.

[Troian Bellisario]

He was so. For Magnum PI For Airwolf, Quantum Leap, ncis, jag, this other show that was first lived, short lived, called First Monday. Like all of those shows were his creations.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Wow.

[Troian Bellisario]

Wrote, produced, directed some episodes, but yeah, created.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

So, like, when we're talking about your dad and someone like Dick Wolfe, like, they're of this, like, kind of. Do they know each other? Were they.

[Troian Bellisario]

So I asked my dad about this because they are like neighbors in Montecito. And it is sort of hilarious because I. So Elliott Wolf is one of our executive producers, our writers, and our showrunners of On Call. So Elliot being Dick's son, I, like have sat down with him and I'm like, can we talk about our dads and just compare childhoods? And they do know each other. They have, like past. Like, they've not really ever had like a sit down meeting. But there are a lot of like bizarro Venn diagram things that.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, both of them created massive shows.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

In kind of similar genres at similar times. Totally.

[Troian Bellisario]

I mean, I mean, like 80s TV, like dominate.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Can I pour you some of this?

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, yes. Thank you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I think it's really fascinating.

[Troian Bellisario]

It is really weird, but like, for my dad, it's because he's always been working on so many things. Like, I remember when I was first on Pretty Little Liars and I was like living at my dad's house. Cause I had just graduated college, so I didn't really have enough money to like move out on my own.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

So I was like living in my childhood bedroom for the first season.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Are you serious? Oh, my God.

[Troian Bellisario]

I love that. Until I moved in with Patrick. Thank God.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

I moved in with Patrick, but there were some moments when I would, like, leave my childhood bedroom to go to.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Set to play a teenager.

[Troian Bellisario]

To play a teenager. And I would come home and have dinner with my dad, and he was like, how was set today? And, like, we would compare. When I told him, I was like, oh. He would ask me what the Nielsen rating for the like for the show was. He'd be like, so what's your rating? Like, what's going on? And I would tell him, and he's like, okay, that's good. And then he would, like, look up his Nielsen rating. I was like, this is. I have to get out of here.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That is bonkers.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah, it was pretty bonkers.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But it's so funny because, like, I mean, as an artist, I never want to know that stuff, but sometimes it would get thrown in my face, like, people would be talking about ratings. But to, like, go home and have a parent who literally is part of that world as an executive and is a showrunner and a creator, like, I mean, that's gotta be so wild. Your parents were both pretty protective of you.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Like, you know, you had to earn your way in.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, his big thing, both him and my mother were. I wasn't.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Your mother was an actress? Yes.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah, my mother was primarily an actress. And then when she had me, and then she came on and started creating Quantum Leap with my dad. They were co creators and writers, and then she kind of moved over more into the writing, directing, producing side. But their big thing for me was you are not allowed to leave school and you're not allowed to. You have to graduate college before you can do any of this. So it was really, like, wonderful. I got to go on a few auditions and do a few things when I was younger, but I was never allowed to, like, take a series or even audition for something like that. So it wasn't until I fully graduated college that they were like, great, join the workforce. Like, get out there. So that was really cool.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Troian talks to me about what it was like to play a teenager alongside actual teenagers in Pretty Little Liars and how she and now husband Patrick J. Adams managed the early days of their relationship while working in different countries. Okay, be right back. This episode of Dinners on Me is brought to you by Nissan. These days, it feels like the world and our lives are moving at hyperspeed. I mean, that's why I love doing this podcast. It's a chance to slow down, to truly connect with another human being and to enjoy the feeling of actually being in the present moment. On that note, I am very excited that Dinners On Me is partnering with Nissan because Nissan understands that sometimes the greatest rush comes from not rushing at all. And with the all new Nissan Murano, you can enjoy an unapologetic refuge amidst the daily hustle and bustle of life. The Nissan Murano is not just a vehicle, it's a space where you can a beat to catch your breath and re energize to be in the present moment. And trust me, this is the moment you'll want to be in and drive in. The Nissan Murano features an elevated modern interior design and a bold new exterior look. Plus the expansive panoramic moonroof adds tons of natural light to the roomy cabin with massaging leather appointed seats to help melt away the tension of the day and ambient mood lighting with 64 color options to set the vibe just right. What's not to love? So thanks again to Nissan for sponsoring this episode of Dinners on Me and for reminding us to take a moment and breathe. Learn more about the all new nissan [e-mail] Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting and massaging leather appointed seats are optional features.

[Troian Bellisario]

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[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And we're back with more Dinners on Me. Well, it's interesting because, you know, you were just saying you with Pretty Little Liars.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You were working with people who were substantially younger than you. Yes. But you had already had the experience of going to school and I know. Sasha. Tell me how to say her last name.

[Troian Bellisario]

Sasha. Peterse.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Did you say her last name?

[Troian Bellisario]

Peterse.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Is it Peterson?

[Troian Bellisario]

Peterson. Sorry, it's like it's in my head.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's like a French name.

[Troian Bellisario]

You said Peterson.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I was like, what?

[Troian Bellisario]

Peters? It's very difficult to pronounce.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Petersa.

[Troian Bellisario]

Petersa.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Peterse.

[Troian Bellisario]

Now I feel like I'm saying it wrong. I'm so sorry, Sasha.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No, you're saying it right.

[Troian Bellisario]

I think it's Petersa.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Petersa. Sasha. Yeah, yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

She's gonna call me after this and be like, pierre.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, no. Actually, I worked with her. She's so lovely.

[Troian Bellisario]

She's the best.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

We did a movie called Ivy and Bean together. I didn't actually get to have any scenes with her, but I met her on set and she's so lovely. And the first thing she said to me when she met me, she's like, I'm really good friends with Troy and she is the best. But when she started. When you started the show, she was over a decade younger than you and you guys were playing contemporaries.

[Troian Bellisario]

It's crazy.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That is wild. To me.

[Troian Bellisario]

It is wild. And she was lying at the time. So she told me. Cause I was 23. I just turned 24, maybe. Yeah. And she had said that she was 14.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And how old were the characters?

[Troian Bellisario]

We were 16. And we would do flashbacks to 15 or something or. No, maybe we started at 15 flashbacks to 14, then it would go from there. And it turned out she was 11 and a half.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, yeah. My God.

[Troian Bellisario]

That bitch was like, I didn't know. And so at the table read, I knew she was. I thought she was 14. Actually, the table read, I didn't know. I thought she was in her 20s.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

What?

[Troian Bellisario]

Yep.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, my God. Talk about versatility.

[Troian Bellisario]

She was insane. Cause she was just so, like, mature in the way she carried herself. So anyways, I told her in the bathroom after we did the first table read. I was like, God, it was so crazy. You, like, brought me back to the mean girls in eighth grade. And she was like, no, thanks. And I didn't realize she was yet to be in eighth grade. She's just wild.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That is unbelievable to me.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Had you already met Patrick by the time it started? So you were like in a serious relationship? Well, early.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah. Ish. I mean, as serious as you can be when you're like 23. Yeah, yeah, 27 or something.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Well, it turned out to be pretty serious. I mean, it turned out to be pretty serious. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, you're in such a different place.

[Troian Bellisario]

But I was in such. Especially because the first year, Patrick and I were trying to working out whether or not we were in a relationship. And then he got suits. And then it was like the first year of him being in suits and me being on the second year of pll, we were pretty much in a solid, committed, long distance relationship. So I would shoot PLL and like, on Friday night or Saturday morning after we worked a Friday, like get on a flight to go see him, watch the sun come up.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

On Warner Brothers, I heard that term. The people who told me told me about that because we never had.

[Troian Bellisario]

You never had a Friday, did you?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The people who told me about Fridays was the cast of Glee, because we were all at the same time, and they were like, have you guys. Do you ever have Fridays? I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about, but that's when you work. You're called the afternoon on a Friday, and you work until Saturday morning. I was like, are you kidding me?

[Troian Bellisario]

I can't believe.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean.

[Troian Bellisario]

But of course, on your show, you wouldn't. Well, you have kids on the show and you don't need to because you were working those amazing hours.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, we worked great hours. So you were working really, really hard on that show.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah, I learned Pretty Little Liars, which is stupid because now I'm on another show which shoots mainly at night. But, like, I was like, never take a vampire show and never take a teen mystery show, because you are always working at night on a Friday.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, it's so true. It's so true. I am fascinated to talk to you about that. Because, you know Patrick, you know, he talked a lot about those seven years.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's one thing to, like, have a long distance relationship. It's another thing to do it as actors. It's another thing to do it while you're working and both have steady jobs. I mean, it's sort of a testament to how much I think, probably work you put into it. But, you know, commitment to one another. Because you're also still getting to know each other at this time.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, totally.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I mean, I just. I find it really, because I was looking at the timeline of your relationship. It's like, oh, you guys were together for a long time before you got married. It's like, that's because you were working and having a long distance relationship.

[Troian Bellisario]

Totally. We always used to joke that, like, the number of in room hours is real low. Like, we're basically just dating.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

And sometimes, you know, what we came to give ourselves the permission to do is like, sometimes you would see each other and just have a fight. Like, that was the. You know, you always imagine when you're in a long distance relationship, like, we're gonna have this incredible weekend together and it's gonna be romantic, top to bottom, and you're gonna have sex in every room and you're only gonna eat the finest of food. And it's like, I would land. We'd both be exhausted. We'd immediately pick a fight with each Other. And then it was like. Then we were just like, well, what do we do now? You know, like, I guess we go eat, you know, and then slowly you'd, like, make up and you'd be like, oh, my God, I really love this person. And then you'd go on a plane. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Do you ever feel like when you come back, like, there's almost like a getting to know you process again? Like, for sure it's not. I've always found that was so bizarre. Like, I guess.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Like.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah. We call it the re entry period.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

You know, because you are. Well, you've been living apart, so you've been living on your own and you form your own habits. Like, when he comes home from shooting on location, does he take his coffee the same way? You know, maybe I've gotten used to waking up and going for a run, and, like, all of a sudden there's somebody in my bed that I want to spend time with. But I'm like, well, this is what I do. And that's really hard to navigate with the kids.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

Can I ask you when you go do? Because I haven't done theater since our kids were born, and you obviously have done a lot. What's it like doing theater when kids. Cause, like, it's just so weird. Actually, I have friends. They're just like, I can't believe we were maniacs that were, like, doing theater until 11pm Troian.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

When 8 o'clock comes and, like, I know people are getting on stage and I'm getting into bed, I'm like, how. How do you do that? I'm going to do that. I'm about to do two plays next year. I don't know how I'm gonna do it.

[Troian Bellisario]

What happens to your schedule?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Like, what? It's. Everything's upended. I mean, with being on stage and that process of getting to be on stage. Just that rehearsal process is so demanding.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That it really does leech out any energy you have. And it's really hard. Yeah. It's why I'm grateful that there are short runs with theater.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And that it's just something that you put your head down. And I love doing it so much. I make it work. And also the payoff of then getting to have the days free with my kids is so wonderful.

[Troian Bellisario]

That is awesome.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And also, I got to bring Beckett to the theater, and he got to stand on a Broadway stage and ask questions about all the props. And that was so exciting for him. That's so cool. You were just talking about Theater was the last thing that you did on stage. The play that you met Patrick in, or.

[Troian Bellisario]

No, it was actually, hilariously, another play that I was with Patrick in. But that was the last thing I did on stage, which was a play called the Last Match. It was like the tennis player.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah. He told me about this. Yeah. That's where he had his infamous panic attack. Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

So I had just graduated college. He had. You know, we'd both just gone to usc, but we didn't know each other at usc.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Okay.

[Troian Bellisario]

And we met, started falling in love with each other. And then I had to leave that show to go shoot the pilot of Pretty Little Liars. And so I was really devastated. Cause I actually thought I was, like, falling in love with this guy. And I was like, oh, fuck. And I was falling in love with the show, and I really wanted to do theater. And so it was kind of an amazing thing to me. When I came back and we started a relationship, it was really surprising to me. Very exciting for me. And then later, when we did the Last match, that was when he had his first panic attack.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

How long did you. So you'd been together for?

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, my God. We just had our anniversary. Hold on. It's eight years married, 15 years together.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, wow.

[Troian Bellisario]

Again in the room. Three, tops.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Exactly. We're such lovers. Yeah. Honeymoon phase. What was your reaction? Did you know that something was going on with him when that happened?

[Troian Bellisario]

So it was really. I wish that I had. When I look back on the first time it happened, because he says, I don't know if you remember, in the conversation you had with him, he started having it on stage. And then I came on to do maybe our first scene together. And he said he remembered, like, with his eyes, like, begging me to stop the show or just begging me to do something. But I'm in a scene with him, like, I don't know. And I remember in the scene, I think I'm, like, telling him that I'm pregnant. And, like, all of it. So there's, like, a lot of emotions for me. And I just, like, walk off the stage, and then I'm, like, going on with the play. And it wasn't until I think intermission that he came back, and he was like. Did you not see that? I was, like, dripping sweat and I am dying up. And I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. And it was horrible, because it's not even like you're dealing with somebody who's dealing with an injury, you know, and you can have sympathy but you can't have empathy. Cause you're not in the panic with them. And so when they're going through something, whether it's. Thank you. Perfect timing for veggie quiche.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, right.

[Troian Bellisario]

They're going through something. Veggie quiche. Oh, thank you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

All right now. Thanks. Just a few clip tests. Oh, there's some.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah. Do you have any?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, it's.

[Troian Bellisario]

It's like, how do you tell them you're gonna be okay? Because they literally. They feel like they're having a heart attack.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

And you can't tell someone not to panic. It's like telling someone not to be depressed or not to be angry. Like, you can't deny their feeling. You can just sit with them and say, I'm here. And the other thing that I will say is, I think. Because I don't know how you. If you and Justin do this, but, like, I have a very, like, sympathetic nervous system.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes.

[Troian Bellisario]

Do you do that, too? And so I'll notice, like, if Patrick will come into a room and he's anxious, I suddenly am like, oh, why do I want to throw up? Like, it's just, like, immediate same. Yeah. So it can be.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm so tied into that.

[Troian Bellisario]

So tied in. And so it's painful, but you don't know how to help them move through it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, I get it. And I think that's just part of why, you know, if people find each other who have that connection, it's such a marriage can be such a wonderful thing or just any sort of partnership, because you have that person who can really intuitively just know.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You must have been. Not to talk about. We're going to start talking about Patrick after this, by the way. But you must have been so proud of him to see him conquer that fear and stand on stage on Broadway, you know, doing a play that not only required nudity, but, like, self. Direct address to an audience.

[Troian Bellisario]

Direct address. Opening.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Opening the play.

[Troian Bellisario]

The play.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And also being brilliant in it.

[Troian Bellisario]

It was so, like, I could like, cry talking about it. Because when he was telling me about all of these things, all of the panic and the anxiety, and he was genuinely afraid. What if I never can do theater? And so to watch him up there was the most incredible thing. Because like you said, when he's having a panic moment, it doesn't.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You don't know.

[Troian Bellisario]

You don't know.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's why I'm so glad to see that you were, like, literally looking in his eyes. Because I had no scenes with him until the very end of the play. So I would always just watch him on the monitor backstage, which was a grainy television set from, like 1972. But to actually be on stage and not even know, and, you know, you're obviously very. At that point in time, you were very connected to him. And so I'm glad to know that I'm not crazy and thinking that he was hiding it incredibly well.

[Troian Bellisario]

Incredibly well.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You know, there's a whole storm going on, you know. Now for a quick break, but don't go away. When we come back, Troian tells me she too feels like an imposter sometimes, a health hazard on the set of Pretty Little Liars, and a labor story that truly seems right out of a movie. Okay, be right back. Hey, it's me, Jon Lovett, host of Love it or Leave It, America's number one late night political gay live comedy podcast. Each week I break down the biggest and dumbest stories in politics to help you keep up with and laugh at the news. It's amazing to think how much the show has changed. We're always pushing to make sure that we're doing a show you can't find anywhere else. And this season, that's what I hope you'll find, not only in the jokes at the top of the show, but also in the interviews and segments we'll be doing with an incredible lineup of guests. I'm really excited to talk to, listen to episodes of Love it or Leave it every Saturday or watch on YouTube or come to a live show in LA. You'll be amazed by what we cut.

[Troian Bellisario]

MSNBC presents a new original podcast hosted by Jen Psaki. Each week, she and her guests explore.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

How the Democratic Party is facing this political moment and where it's headed next.

[Troian Bellisario]

There's probably both messaging and policy issues, but as you look to kind of where the Democratic Party is, do you think it's more a messaging issue, more a policy issue? The Blueprint with Jen Psaki. New episodes drop every Monday.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Listen now. And we're back with more dinners on me. You've talked a lot about, like, having anxiety as well, and that must be something you two have connected on. I mean, something that Patrick and I talk about a lot is imposter syndrome. And I was surprised to hear that you also feel like you, you know, all the time suffer from that as well, because I feel like you do everything really well. I can throw yourself so many things.

[Troian Bellisario]

I, I mean, I appreciate that, but I wonder if that's like, a part of it, you know, that kind of feeling, of never, never rest. Like, never sit back and take it for granted. Like, I. Yeah, every day on this, too. Like, on. On call, I would show up every day and do every take. And afterwards, I was like, okay, they're coming over and they're not just going to give me a note. They're going to tell me, like, this was a horrible mistake. And I don't know what you think you're doing here, but this isn't working.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You also. I mean, I'm about to. Well, I've been asked to direct a feature film. You have? In the fall.

[Troian Bellisario]

What?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. I'm having a hard time, like, fully embracing it because I know, like, a million things can happen. But I've been thinking about you a lot because I feel like you switch roles so effortlessly. Like, you've written so many great things, you've directed so many great things, you've acted in, the things that you've directed and written. Like, I want to know, like, where did that confidence come from? Or is that just all, like, fake it until you make it?

[Troian Bellisario]

Definitely a lot of that. But a lot of it mostly came from my parents, from my dad, particularly when he was telling me about, you know, I don't know if you're going to have a career in acting. He was like, so you need to have, you know, all of these other backup plans, and you need to know how to do lots of other things. I had. I mean, I had a really wonderful director on Pretty Little Liars who was primarily an actor, and then she transferred into being a director, and she was, like, real honest with me. She was like, you're young now. You won't be young forever. And sometimes when you're not so young, it's harder to get in front of the camera. So she was like, learn how to do this. And that really stayed with me in terms of just, like, be able to do everything. Because like we talked about earlier, though, it's very, very lucky to get to go from job to job to job. And sometimes, in my experience, my career, I've had to make most of my jobs happen.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. You know. Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

So that's why, for me, the writing, the directing, that's all kind of come out of a. I want to work. And I know it's statistically not going to always be in front of the camera.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

There's just so many days I remember showing up to work on Modern Family, and I'd be like, they'd be. I know this scene is really complicated. There's, like a million people involved and like, we'd be blocking it. I would just be thinking, I am so glad I'm not in charge of having to direct all this. And now I'm like, I'm gonna be that person.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yep.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And I'm excited by that challenge and terribly nerfed. I have a lot of imposter syndrome because I've also never directed anything before, at least not on that level.

[Troian Bellisario]

Here's my advice to you.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Please.

[Troian Bellisario]

Okay. Acting, it's gonna be great. You will be great talking to actors because you understand what they're going through. You will have endless amounts of sympathy. You just walk in and you get to be like, purely intellectually creative.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

So that's really freeing.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

The thing that I learned, and this is only from doing a short film, directing a short film versus the episodes of television that I've directed. The buck stops with you. And it starts with you. And that is overwhelming. It's like, I think, what was that? Was it nine? That musical that Daniel Day Lewis was in?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Uh huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

Right. And Judi Dench is like. She's like, what is it being a director? It's saying, yes, this, no, this, yes, this, no, this, yes. You know, And I think about that a lot because you have to know, you have to have an answer. It doesn't matter if it's the right answer or if it's a good answer, but you have to have an answer for everything. And everybody's gonna turn to you. And I remember the first time I was shooting my short film, which was like, literally, we shot it in our house. It was like me and five other people. It couldn't have been more low stress. And somebody turned to me and asked me a question about a shirt, like, should it be red or blue? And they were like, well, what's your color palette? And I was like, what? Like, I just hadn't thought about it because I'd always had a wardrobe department that was working on their own, kind of like, you know what I mean? Like, well, it's gotta be blue because this is her palette and this is. And I just hadn't thought about that at all. And so I constantly was kind of like, overwhelmed by all of the possibilities of like, you haven't thought about this. So I would say, just get in the habit of really getting in everybody's business. Get with all of your keys. And no question is too small, no idea is too silly to be like, I really love this texture for this character. It all feeds your ideas, and that's what you have to do as a director.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's great advice. No, I'm excited. I'll let you know.

[Troian Bellisario]

I want to hear more about this when you are ready to share.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You know, I just want to mention one thing that I wanted to say earlier. You know, when I first heard about Pretty Little Liars, it was in the hair and makeup trailer of Modern Family because Eric Stonestreet and Sofia Vergara were obsessed with it.

[Troian Bellisario]

No, they weren't.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes, they were. They came in and they would, like, talk about it non stop. And Eric was like, you have got. And Eric's like, you have got to watch the show. You've got to watch the show. And I don't know why I never got around to watching it, but I started watching it, I guess after I met you. And like, I.

[Troian Bellisario]

What?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, so I was late to the game. I haven't gotten. I haven't finished it. But there are alerts that I've learned about just from doing the research that I'm like, on the show. I got thrown into the. I was like, you have an evil twin bananas.

[Troian Bellisario]

She's British, by the way. She's British.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I was like, I am definitely got to catch up because, like, this is. There's so many things that I feel like I know too much now. I have to see how it all comes together. It's like someone gave me all the ingredients. I was like, that can't make a pie. Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

You were like, no, it does.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's going to make a pie. I'm like, okay, I got to see how this pie is made.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah, it's really wild. There are genuinely plot twists that I'm sure if you told me about, I would be like, I don't remember that happening. How did that happen? Because it was so circuitous. Scooby Doo, you know what I mean? Like, it was. Everybody was a bad guy at one point. It's such a wild time capsule for me, you know? And every time I do see a little bit. I really have not rewatched any of it, but I'll often see, like, pictures on social media. And I'm just like, that's insane. Because along with each one of those pictures, and I'm sure you do this with Modern Family. Like, you have a vivid memory of what it was like to shoot that day. Maybe what even was going on in.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Your personal life and some pictures, you're like, I don't remember that day at all.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yes. Oh, yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Zero recollection.

[Troian Bellisario]

Like, what was I doing? Yeah, I remember just feeling. Did you have this. Cause you guys shot on a lot of the same sets, right?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yep.

[Troian Bellisario]

I mean, you're. Did you have that feeling that your home was like. Your home?

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes. Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

I mean, I slept on every surface of Spencer's, like, kitchen, living room, bedroom. Like, the number of naps I actually took in Spencer's bed was weird.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, I have Ty Burrell coming on the show soon, so I'm gonna have to remind him about this. But he. And on his set, he would hide things in cabinets and then forget about them. And then, like, literally 11 years later, he would open up a cabinet and there'd be, like, a moldy cup of, like. He's like, oh, I remember putting that there back at season two. Like a fully. Like a fully moldy coffee cup.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, my God. That's a nightmare.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Just like, artifacts.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yes, artifacts. Yeah. We had. Hilariously for that, there was a jar of granola on Spencer's counter from season one until season seven. And our running joke was like, when we wrap, somebody's gonna have to eat that. And we got the pot up to, like. I think nobody would go because nobody actually wanted to. So I think we got up to, like, $300, but nobody would take it.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

No.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah. It's basically mummified granola.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I also. Can we please touch on the insane way that Elliot, your second, came into this world?

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, sure.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

It's still insane. It's still insane.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I cannot wait till she's old enough for you to tell it to her.

[Troian Bellisario]

Well, she. I mean, she has heard the story. She does not compute the story.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Of course not.

[Troian Bellisario]

No. But if you tell her, you say, elliot, where were you born? She. In the car. In the car.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

But what's crazy to me is that Patrick was away working. Yes. I mean, it seems. And I feel like when you were telling me this is the first time that you were really, like, your body was like, not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Yeah, I'm gonna wait until Patrick gets back. Just like, so.

[Troian Bellisario]

So the first time when I was pregnant with Aurora, and I guess this happens with a lot of. With a lot of women. First time is like, she was fully a week late. And so I had the experience of poor, you know, poor Patrick, who had never become a dad before. He stared at me for seven days like I was a goddamn bomb. And I was like, you gotta stop looking at me. Like, it was like every time we would, like, go out to eat, and he was like, this might be our last meal. Is children free? And I was like, you have to stop. Like, I Can't handle this. It was just so much pressure. And then so when the second time around with Elliot, he was gonna take a job. And the weird thing about the jobs during COVID especially, cause it was a job in Canada, was that you had to do that 10 day quarantine.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yep.

[Troian Bellisario]

And then if you left. So if, let's say I went into labor early and he was like, I'm getting on a flight, you have to re quarantine. You literally would have to re quarantine. And he was doing it. It was a very small film. And so he would not have, he would have completely blown their film. They didn't have the budget to extend for that time. So it was kind of one of those things where it was like a big risk for the film. And we were talking to my obgyn and he was like, okay, so when does Patrick come back? And I was like, four days before my due date. And he was like, uh huh. And I was like, yeah, but Aurora was so late. Like, I'm probably gonna be late again.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Did you have a discussion with Patrick, like you might miss the birth or was that like not even talked about?

[Troian Bellisario]

It was never even like acknowledged because he was like, should I not do this? And I was like, no, you're not going to miss the birth. I think I just straight up willed it. Like that's a very me thing to do. I'm just like, it's not happening. You're going to make it back and it'll be fine. It's the week before her due date and it's like three days before he's supposed to come home. And I start having, I think they're Braxton Hicks contractions, which are practice contractions, basically. So I'm just like laying in bed at night and it's me and Aurora. Aurora's two at the time.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

And my mom was supposed to come over once Patrick came home so that if I needed to go to the hospital, she could watch Aurora. And Patrick was like, do you think maybe your mom should come over? And I was like, no, totally fine. Cause I don't need to go to the hospital anytime soon. And he was like, okay, whatever you say, babe. And as the days got closer, I realized that I was just, I think, like willing Elliot to stay inside my body. I was just like, this is not happening. And then he landed at, he landed at like, I don't know, 10 or something. Crawled into bed at midnight exactly and hugged me and passed out. And then I went into labor four hours later.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Wow.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah. Cause I, I mean, I'm sure the. Whatever it was, you know, the oxytocin or like whatever it was that I. From that hug, just knowing like, I'm safe. Yeah, it's okay now. I don't have to keep waiting.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Your body released a little bit. Yeah, absolutely.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah. Yeah. So.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And then it was a mad dash.

[Troian Bellisario]

It wasn't quite a mad dash. Cause again, I was still very stubborn. I crawled into the bathroom and I remember he like kind of Woke up at 4:30 and was like, where? What are you doing? And I was like, don't worry about it. And I went into the bathroom and I just sat in the shower for two hours maybe sat in the shower. And I was pretty much fully in labor. But with Aurora it had been 27 hours. And so I told Patrick, I was like, you just got home, we know it's gonna be a day. So like, just get some sleep and I'll be fine. And then at around 6:30, I was like, okay, yeah, we should definitely go to the hospital. And so we get in the car, we were calling our doula, calling our doctor, and you know, he was like, here she is, she's on speakerphone. And I was moaning and they were like, yep, she's in labor. Can't wait to see you. And we were like, what's. What's the birth plan? He was like, do you. What do you want to do? And the one thing that I remember saying was I said, I just want either you or me to catch the baby. We didn't know at the time whether it was a boy or a girl. We were just, you know, wanted to be surprised and said I. And he was like, do what now? And I was like, I just really like, I can either pull the baby up or you can catch the baby and then you can pull the baby out. And he was basically like, okay, like, sure. And then we got to the hospital and as soon as he pushed the ticket for the turnstile, that was when like I started like anamorphing into a full feral animal in the front seat of the car. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And like just.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, like I flipped myself over onto all fours and started just howling.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah. Cause you were giving birth.

[Troian Bellisario]

Cause I was giving birth and I thought, I don't know if I passed out. I feel like I must have. Cause I kind of like collapsed. But I remember immediately hearing her cry. And I thought, it's okay. Cause she's crying, that means that she's getting air.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

And this was still in the parking garage, in the parking Lot.

[Troian Bellisario]

This is still in the car. I am, like, my hands were in the child's seat, and my butt was, like, facing the dash.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Troian Bellisario]

And Patrick Hatter still attached to me via the umbilical cord.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I forget you. I feel like you were both telling me that you were trying to get security. Security footage.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, we definitely.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Did you ever. Did you ever get it?

[Troian Bellisario]

We did, yes.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes.

[Troian Bellisario]

We are very much not allowed to share that in a public way, but we share it to each other. I mean, it's. It's the classiest security footage. Cause you can't see me. Literally. It's just a wonderful shot of our car and Patrick diving into the car, appearing, turning around to the poor valet gentleman who couldn't have done anything. And we found out it was his first day on the job.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Oh, my God.

[Troian Bellisario]

And you see Patrick just basically being like, you know, and then he turns around, and then he reappears with a baby. And he was just covered in afterbirth. The car was covered in afterbirth. And then he came up to me, and they. The hospital actually gave him honorary scrubs because they were just laughing at his jeans and his sweater. We still have pictures. It looks like a full crime scene.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It's such a good story.

[Troian Bellisario]

It was. I mean, it's unbelievable.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

It really is.

[Troian Bellisario]

And it's the best because she's healthy and she's amazing, and she's such a. I call her my bull in a china shop because she's a little tourist that literally just like.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yeah, I can't wait to see what she does.

[Troian Bellisario]

Shot out in the world because of.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

The way she came. She entered this world.

[Troian Bellisario]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Really quite remarkable.

[Troian Bellisario]

It was. It was amazing.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm gonna turn over a new leaf, and I'm gonna say that today, dinner's on me.

[Troian Bellisario]

No.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

Yes.

[Troian Bellisario]

You don't have to.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

I'm absolutely gonna do it. Dinner is on me.

[Troian Bellisario]

That's ridiculous.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

That's 20 years rest.

[Troian Bellisario]

Oh, my gosh. Thank you. So I hope I'm not setting a precedent for anything.

[Jesse Tyler Ferguson]

You probably are. This episode of Dinners on Me was recorded at Loupiat Kitchen in Los Feliz, California. Next week on Dinners on Me. You know him from his six seasons on NBC's Community and more recently, helming the Fox comedy Animal Control, which debuted its third season in January. It's Joel McHale. We'll get into his start hosting the iconic pop culture show the Soup. Lying about his height to get on Will and Grace and his appreciation for drag queens. And if you don't want to wait until next week to listen, you can download that episode right now by subscribing to Dinners on Me. As a subscriber, not only do you get access to new episodes one week early, you'll also be able to listen completely ad free. Just click Try Free at the top of the Dinners on Me show page on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Dinner is on Me is a production of Sony Music Entertainment and a kid named Beckett Productions. It's hosted by me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. It's executive produced by me and Jonathan Hirsch. Our showrunner is Joanna Clay. Our associate producer is Angela Vang. Sam Baer engineered this episode. Hans Dale. She composed our theme music. Our head of production is Sammy Allison. Special thanks to Tameka Balance Kolasny and Justin Makita. I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Join me next week.