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Mike Mitchell
This is a headgun podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com doughboysmedia hey, buddy.
Tiger Weger
Our long national nightmare is over. At long last, The Munch Madness 2026 finale is actually happening. This is not a drill. This is not a prank. This is not a segment from the new Jackass film. No, this is real life. And you know what? The finale is happening live on Saturday, July 11. That's right. 7:11. Never forget. Or for those of you outside of the US, 11 7, isn't it? I understand you do dates differently, and actually the way you do it makes more sense. But whatever. The 711 thing doesn't make sense unless you order it the way Americans do. And honestly, if you want to say like, 911 is 11 9, I think that's a little disrespectful. So how dare you? That's how you're going to honor Steve Ranazizi's memory, by saying 11 9. Because that's how you do it across the pond. I mean, if a similar thing happened to you, God forbid, I would never mock your calendar and retaliation. Anyway, let's take our minds off of that by talking about the Munch Madness 2026 finale. It will be on July 11th from 7 to 11pm Eastern. It's 4 to 8pm Pacific. Think about that. What kind of synergy is that? 7 11. From 7 to 11, we're gonna have a pre show, we're gonna have the main show, we're gonna have a post show. And answering your questions live. All this is gonna be happening. We're gonna get closure on the Dodiac and Commissioner Susser, who's been kidnapped and held hostage this entire time since March. He has a family and a career. He's a commissioner of the Doughboys. What's he been doing in that dungeon? He's probably lonely, probably hungry, probably lost a few pounds, to be honest. I'm not saying you should like being starved by a serial killer is a good diet, but I'm saying it's a thing that some people could use as an approach. May not be the right move for everyone, but it could be the right move for you. But I don't want to trivialize his peril. We love Commissioner Susser and we hope he's brought back safe. And we hope the Dodiac is brought to justice. Much Madness finale for 2026 is happening on July 11th from 7 to 11pm Eastern. Tickets@birdfuck.com live. You can also get tickets@doughboys podcast.com live if birdfuck.com is filtered by your work's fucking filter or whatever. I don't know why you're watching this at work or listening to this at work, but some people are apparently got nothing better to do. I mean, what is your job anyway? Were you just listening to Doughboys? That's what you're doing. You're collecting a check. These are billable hours. You're listening to me doing this ad read. I mean, really, you should give us your money by going to birdfuck.comlive or doughboyspodcast.com live and buying tickets for the Munch Madness 2026 live finale. We'll see you there, buddy.
Mike Mitchell
Wow.
Tiger Weger
This episode is brought to you by booking.com booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the US So you can find exactly what you're booking for.
Mike Mitchell
There's something for everyone wise, even those who are impossible to please. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, your sleep light rise early. Mom, I know that. Or your high maintenance group chat. I know that as well. It's called the Doughboys group chat. You can find exactly what you're booking for.
Tiger Weger
Mitch, you and I travel a lot together.
Mike Mitchell
It's true touring.
Tiger Weger
And we found that we have some particular needs for ourselves and for our staff who makes the show possible.
Mike Mitchell
That's right.
Tiger Weger
What we're always looking for is a big kitchen. We're always looking for places where you can prepare food at the place. We always want nice bathrooms.
Mike Mitchell
We want big old bathrooms.
Tiger Weger
And we want a nice TV so we can watch evening movies. And if we can find our perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can.
Mike Mitchell
That's right, Wygs. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com, booking. Yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. Do it.
Tiger Weger
Hey, buddy. If you're traveling this summer, here's a real travel hack. Don't wait until you land to start learning the new language. Instead, try Babbel. What I like about Babbel is it's built for real life. Not vocab lists, not verb charts, but real conversation practice. And that's what you need when you're traveling. Lessons are quick, practical, and built by more than 200 language experts. They have interactive dialogue, personalized reviews, even podcasts, all designed to get you speaking quickly and confidently. And unlike cramming before a trip, Babbel fits into your actual schedule. Coffee break, commute, or a few minutes before bed, Babbel's award winning app has sold over 25 million subscriptions and is backed by a 14 day money back guarantee. I've used Babel myself, use it to learn Spanish and hey, I like that app quite a bit. If you've got summer travel coming up, now's the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now Babbel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to babbel.com doughboys that's Babbel B-A-B-B-E-L.com doughboys for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. In 2003, American audiences fell in love with a charming Australian celebrity named Paul Hogan. No, not that one. This Paul Hogan was the butler on the reality dating show Joe Millionaire, in which impoverished hunk Evan Marriott was the plant in the producer's scheme to deceive female contestants into courting who they thought was the moneyed man of their dreams. Hogan's presence naturally evoked Yankee nostalgia for his 80s name twin Australian comedian Paul Hogan. That Hogan had a 12 season run of his eponymous hit sketch comedy show and in which he portrayed recurring characters like Leo Wanker, George, Fungus and Donger, making it the most highbrow series in Australian television history. The Paul Hogan show led to the 1986 global box office smash and Oscar nominee Crocodile Dundee, a reptile out of water story that made a pre me meme out of that's Not a Knife. Crocodile Dundee and Hogan became patient 0A and 0B for an American obsession with its similarly drunk and racist but oddly gunless down under counterpart. And the Aussie invasion led a quartet of Tampa, Florida investors who'd never even visited the country to select it as the theme for their chain steakhouse concept. Opened in 1988, the cartoonish Australian Mad Libs menu and Cracker Barrel by way of Brisbane interior decorating was accompanied by an Australian pastiche ad campaign akin to the Foster's Australian for beer commercials today. Overseen by its parent company, Bloomin Brands, which also owns Carrabba's Bonefish Grill and Fleming Steakhouse, the Steakery is hemorrhaging locations in recent years, but if history is a guide, it's only a matter of time before the brand gets a boost from the next Paul Hogan. This week on Doughboys. Hello down under as we return to Outback Steakhouse. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co Host Goon in 60 seconds, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell.
Mike Mitchell
I It's saying that Goon. I know what gooning.
Tiger Weger
You know what gooning is? Yeah. That 60 second duration is enough for you to goon.
Mike Mitchell
Gooning is, that's a funny thing. It's. It's like it's edging, basically. Right. Is what gooning is.
Tiger Weger
It can be. There's a lot, there's a lot of dimensions to it. I mean, our guests can maybe illuminate things, but I, my, my understanding is that, that you have a lot of points. Porno up at once and then it's kind of a marathon porno session where part of it is just like, how much pornography can I consume at one time? And also how long can I extend the, the pleasure and I guess hot
Mike Mitchell
grunties up on the screen.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, it's up to you. Whatever your taste is, you know, I think it's kind of, I think the gooning community is kind of neutral on whatever porno you're into. It's more just about the, the spirit of gooning community.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
It exists.
Amelia Marino
Yeah. There's a culture around gooning.
Tiger Weger
There's a whole culture around it.
Mike Mitchell
There's a culture around gooning.
Emma Erdbrink
No, I think it's a, it's like goofing around.
Tiger Weger
It's a fairly recent, like, I mean the word has existed. The idea of a goon has existed for a long time, but the idea of gooning is pretty recent.
Mike Mitchell
Quite the reveal up top. And you're just not saying, you're not saying nothing about it. This has been out.
Tiger Weger
This was on a previous episode.
Mike Mitchell
It was. And we didn't fucking talk about it.
Tiger Weger
No.
Emma Erdbrink
What the fuck?
Mike Mitchell
I tried. I, I quote, unquote, this is archaic language. Try to pimp you into it multiple times at a live show just recently.
Tiger Weger
And you denied me fully uncovered on the Joe Wengart episode. You said nothing. I had a short sleeve shirt the entire time.
Mike Mitchell
I didn't fucking notice.
Amelia Marino
I texted the group chat during that episode.
Emma Erdbrink
She did.
Amelia Marino
And I said, tattoos out. I said you should. Speaking of, I didn't even think that he had.
Mike Mitchell
I didn't think he had fucking short sleeves on. You didn't think I didn't notice. I didn't notice it was out.
Tiger Weger
You didn't think I had short sleeves on? The cat is out. I have a tiger tattoo on my, my forearm. New. New tiger tattoo. I'm tiger now. Yeah, it's. I, I like it quite a bit. Our artist is Ana Mendes, who works here in, in, in la.
Mike Mitchell
It's real.
Tiger Weger
It's real. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
It does exist. To quote the M and M's goon
Tiger Weger
in 60 seconds might be too generous. From Peter, a roasted bird.
Mike Mitchell
Okay, I can hold it for a minute.
Tiger Weger
We had a weird guy outside. There was a weird guy. It was really strange. So I get to where I saw
Mike Mitchell
the aftermath of this.
Emma Erdbrink
This. The.
Tiger Weger
We're at the studio, and a guy comes up, and I've not interacted with this man at all, but he comes to the main entrance, and I'm like, can I help you? And he points at Amelia, who's in the studio through the glass and says, I want her. And this guy is just like a guy with a dirty shirt who smells good on the sidewalk, honestly, may have been Mr. Right. No, he's.
Mike Mitchell
He's.
Tiger Weger
He's just like a smelly guy with a stained T shirt. And I'm like. And he doesn't speak much English. And I was like, I don't know what the fuck's going on.
Mike Mitchell
Hold on a second. You were. You're sure he was a smelly guy?
Tiger Weger
Yeah, he smell.
Mike Mitchell
I.
Tiger Weger
He smelled pretty bad.
Mike Mitchell
You got a good whiff, huh?
Tiger Weger
Yeah, I took a. I took a whiff. I mean, it's hard to miss.
Mike Mitchell
Now I'm. Now I'm self conscious that you're sniffing me when I walk in the door.
Tiger Weger
I sniff you all the time. You know, I smell great. I smell everybody.
Mike Mitchell
I smell everybody.
Tiger Weger
Everybody. You can't help but do it.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, so do I.
Emma Erdbrink
Actually, Smelling bad's, like, one of my biggest fears. So.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, I don't like to smell bad.
Tom Walker
I'm right there with you. Yeah, it's fucking hell to me, smelling bad. I actually ducked into the toilet of the restaurant that we went to today. Oh, no. I was beyond sniff. I was put, like, soap on my hands, soap on one hand, water on the other. One duck into a stall and just start rubbing under the pits.
Tiger Weger
Oh, that's a good.
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then halfway in, I was like, I didn't shut the door. Let's. Let's go ahead and shut that bad boy.
Amelia Marino
Call that an Italian shower.
Tom Walker
Really?
Tiger Weger
I've heard it called.
Tom Walker
I've heard. Who does? Italian people.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. Not surprised by that at all.
Tiger Weger
I've heard it called a horse bath, which is nice. That's fun.
Tom Walker
That's also been my experience, but I'm not racist towards Italians. And yet I hate those sex workers. Filthy little things, but yet I can't get enough this.
Tiger Weger
So this guy's like. Like, I want her.
Emma Erdbrink
I was like.
Tiger Weger
I was like, that's okay, buddy. Sorry. And then he's like, and then Emma comes out and is like, can I help you? I was like, oh, he's like the guy fixing the garage door.
Emma Erdbrink
He was here right before you guys got.
Tiger Weger
And I didn't see him at all.
Emma Erdbrink
His van was completely blocking the driveway. And Amelia went out, was like, do you mind moving up a little bit? Because we need to use the driveway. And I think that's why he came back and was like, the corpse.
Tiger Weger
Right? So he was. He thought you were in charge here because no one else works here except for Ryan, the intern, the lone employee who's been on the premises already.
Mike Mitchell
Miami still.
Tiger Weger
I think they're all in Miami.
Mike Mitchell
If. I think if he said to me, I want her, I'd be like, to kidnap. I wouldn't know what he was.
Tiger Weger
That's what I thought he was.
Emma Erdbrink
I was like.
Tiger Weger
As a creep. I was like, mitch is like, take her.
Mike Mitchell
No kidnap. Yeah, go ahead.
Tiger Weger
I thought this guy was a creep. So I'm like. I was just, like, trying to keep him out of the building. And apparently he actually was working.
Mike Mitchell
Working on something.
Emma Erdbrink
Who called to complain about the gate? Like, we did. Like, someone was about to get in trouble. And I was like, I don't know. I just work here. I don't even work here.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, none of us work here. We're just here.
Emma Erdbrink
I'm just here.
Amelia Marino
I didn't like his attitude.
Tiger Weger
No, I didn't like his attitude either.
Emma Erdbrink
It was rude.
Mike Mitchell
Maybe he hates headgum, too. Like, you, clearly.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, Understandably. We're having. We're having a great time. No problems with anyone who works here.
Mike Mitchell
Creep.
Tiger Weger
All of the producers on the same page. Creep.
Mike Mitchell
Salt and pepper and. And Radiohead, right? Or not Salt and pepper. Is it salt and pepper? So I. Cree. Is that. That right? So I creep.
Tiger Weger
Isn't that. Shoot.
Mike Mitchell
So I shoot. No. Shoop is different. Shoot. So ha. Isn't it.
Emma Erdbrink
Isn't that one too creepy by radio?
Tiger Weger
Yeah, that's the only creep I know. Is there another creep?
Mike Mitchell
I had a couple good characters. I was on fire starting off the show. We should have been. We should have been recording beforehand.
Emma Erdbrink
There's a tlc.
Mike Mitchell
Tlc, not salt.
Tiger Weger
Okay.
Emma Erdbrink
Yes.
Tom Walker
Okay.
Tiger Weger
I don't know that we were thinking
Emma Erdbrink
of the TLC song.
Mike Mitchell
Good song.
Tiger Weger
You get a favorite TLC member I was always a fan of.
Mike Mitchell
Who doesn't? Like Lisa left. Who left Die.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, Chili's pretty nice, though.
Mike Mitchell
Left eye. Rest in peace.
Tiger Weger
Correct Rip.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. Yeah.
Tom Walker
This is the first time I felt Young in, like, five years.
Mike Mitchell
Because we're talking, you know, T.L. you know waterfalls. You know waterfalls.
Tom Walker
No, I don't. I've got a pacifier in my mouth. I'm a baby.
Mike Mitchell
They know waterfalls and they're babies.
Tiger Weger
This may be more of a, of a, of a divide, the existence of the Pacific between our two nations than anything. It made me tlc.
Mike Mitchell
I should have known that. I do know that. My brain's mush. What do you want from me? But tlc. Left eye. I mean, I liked all three of them. Yeah, they all did a great job.
Tiger Weger
Yeah. God bless them.
Mike Mitchell
God bless them. I was, I was on fire before this started.
Tiger Weger
You were on fire?
Mike Mitchell
I had a pretty good marriage. Dr. Evil character.
Tiger Weger
Do you want to bust that out again? I can give you my ring.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Okay. I'm going to pass my wedding ring over to Tom. Do you mind if it's a little bit ringing?
Tom Walker
Okay. And just for this period, you're just on the market or. All right, There we go.
Mike Mitchell
30 seconds. Go for it. I mean, saying, do whatever you want for 30 seconds.
Tiger Weger
I just jack off.
Mike Mitchell
I can't now. I can't do it.
Tiger Weger
No, do it.
Mike Mitchell
Do it now. I can't do. Marry Dr. Evil.
Tom Walker
Do it. No.
Mike Mitchell
One married dollar.
Tiger Weger
Very good. Thanks, buddy.
Mike Mitchell
It got the same it got the same not funny response as the first time I did it, but it's pretty good.
Tiger Weger
It's pretty good.
Mike Mitchell
It's pretty fucking good.
Tom Walker
It's good.
Amelia Marino
You had another funny character too.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, yeah. Scottish Italian guy.
Tiger Weger
Oh, yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, I want some cop. I can't do it.
Tiger Weger
I couldn't do it.
Mike Mitchell
Donkey. I was trying to remember how to do the Scottish accent from Shrek. How does he, how does, how does the Scottish guy Shrek? Think Shrek.
Tiger Weger
Shrek, yeah.
Tom Walker
Think Shrek.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, Donkey. Oh, I want some gabagool.
Tiger Weger
That's good.
Tom Walker
That's a good character. It's really good, man.
Tiger Weger
Put them on your reel.
Amelia Marino
Both are Mike Myers.
Mike Mitchell
Both are Mike Myers. I can't do a Scottish accent.
Tiger Weger
Do you want to bite? Busting a love guru to do the trifecta.
Mike Mitchell
I, I'm done with after. I didn't get that. I, I, I went in for Apu replacements on the Simpsons.
Tiger Weger
They're casting a wide net they're casting
Mike Mitchell
a very wide net wise Howard. A trafficky la day today.
Tiger Weger
Now you know what else is new?
Mike Mitchell
I thought today was kind of was. It was a little bonkers out there today. Kind of a weird day, so I'm not surprised by the weird vibes.
Tiger Weger
More ponds. More bonkers than bonser.
Tom Walker
Yeah, I, I don't know what the.
Mike Mitchell
I was bombing for a while now.
Tiger Weger
I'm glad I learned the word. I learned the word bonzer from the Outback Steakhouse.
Tom Walker
You're pronouncing it with an er and I would love you to just put an A on the end.
Tiger Weger
Bonza.
Tom Walker
Yeah, there we go. No hard R on the bonza. It's really unsatisfying.
Tiger Weger
Me and Mitch are only hard Rs.
Amelia Marino
Okay.
Emma Erdbrink
All right.
Tom Walker
No worries.
Amelia Marino
No worries.
Tom Walker
Okay, that's fine.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Amelia Marino
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Okay.
Amelia Marino
Sorry.
Tom Walker
I'm new here.
Mike Mitchell
What is this he Scottish guy? Sounds like. Does he sound like that?
Amelia Marino
Yes.
Mike Mitchell
I'm squattish. That's it. Okay. All right.
Tom Walker
That's good. Yeah. They usually say of school that's what they lead with. And then they close with that as well.
Tiger Weger
But you're also Italian.
Tom Walker
I. Boy, what would that even sound like?
Tiger Weger
Yeah, really, really interesting.
Mike Mitchell
I'm Scottish.
Tom Walker
Okay.
Mike Mitchell
It's a weird. It's a weird day today.
Tiger Weger
It's a weird day today.
Mike Mitchell
It's a weird day today. By the way. Traffic all over the place. I fill up with my. The gas tank wags. $130.
Amelia Marino
Whoa.
Emma Erdbrink
I did that the other night. Hurt.
Mike Mitchell
And $30.
Emma Erdbrink
You have a bigger tank than I do.
Mike Mitchell
But my tank isn't even. It's not that big of. I mean, it's pretty. I think it's like 17 gallons or something. You know what I mean?
Emma Erdbrink
Mine's only 11, so.
Mike Mitchell
Okay. 130 bucks. 130 bucks.
Tiger Weger
Too much money, I say.
Mike Mitchell
I can't believe this is what. Not what I voted for Trump for. This is insane. I'm gonna hit him with a drop. That's what you want out of me, Wax. That's why you're looking at me.
Emma Erdbrink
Here it comes.
Tiger Weger
Why don't you wanna have a nice conversation? I don't feel like jacking off. Jerking off or cranking off? Jacking off. Jerking off. Cranking off. By the power of Grayskull. I have the pancakes. I don't feel like jacking off, jerking off or cranking off. I have the pancakes.
Mike Mitchell
Prepare to hehe. Howdy. Howdy to Spoon Nation.
Tiger Weger
Well, isn't that special?
Mike Mitchell
That's pretty good.
Tiger Weger
That's a really good one.
Mike Mitchell
What up Chat? This drop clocks in at 110 beats per minute.
Tiger Weger
Wow.
Mike Mitchell
Count D's nuts. That was good. Count these nuts.
Tiger Weger
Count these nuts.
Emma Erdbrink
Good work.
Tiger Weger
Well played. That's Count. That's Count Dropula using a. A pseudonym. Count.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, right. That's what it is.
Tiger Weger
Because the. The Count Dropula signature at the end is the. The. The fart.
Mike Mitchell
That's right. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I think so. I should know. I read these all the time and I should know that, but I don't. I don't know. Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Why?
Mike Mitchell
Because I almost ran over. I was. I was coming out of my. I was coming on my driveway. Yeah, I. I almost ran over CM Punk.
Tiger Weger
What?
Mike Mitchell
Oh, you weren't here. You weren't there when I told this.
Tom Walker
No. Yeah. He almost took out the Straight Edge superstar himself.
Mike Mitchell
I almost ran over CM Punk.
Emma Erdbrink
At your.
Tiger Weger
At your apartment?
Mike Mitchell
Yes. Yes.
Tiger Weger
Wow. So you're pulling out of the driveway.
Mike Mitchell
I'm pulling out of my driveway.
Tiger Weger
CM Punk happens to be walking in the neighborhood.
Mike Mitchell
Yes.
Tiger Weger
And you nearly hit him with your car.
Mike Mitchell
He was none the wiser. He didn't even. He didn't even glance up. But I wasn't paying attention to him. He should have been scared.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
And I almost. I almost killed Zampa.
Tiger Weger
He's that cool of a character. When you say almost killed, how close did you come?
Mike Mitchell
Close enough.
Tiger Weger
Was he. Was he walking?
Mike Mitchell
I bet you got a little bumper breeze. He didn't even notice it.
Tiger Weger
You. So you. You saw him too late that he was walking in front of your car and then he just continued walking?
Mike Mitchell
Yes, I was. I looked back to see if the garage door was closing. Looked around CM Punk right there were, you know, almost a splat on my windshield.
Tiger Weger
Oh, so you were front first.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, I was front first.
Tiger Weger
Oh, wow. That would have been traumatic.
Mike Mitchell
I know. And then I was saying that it would be like former twisted metal star goes and then starring in parentheses in question mark next to that. But former twisted metal star goes has off road. You know, is his off road Rampage kills CM Punk.
Tiger Weger
It's like when one of us dies of like some of heart disease. It'll be like fast food podcast.
Mike Mitchell
Yes.
Tiger Weger
Size of a heart attack.
Mike Mitchell
I know.
Tiger Weger
Don't do sort of set up for
Mike Mitchell
that, for God's sakes. When that happens, and it will happen at some point. Don't do that.
Tom Walker
That's really cute that you guys don't think you're gonna take each other.
Mike Mitchell
That's a good point.
Tiger Weger
I mean, you would have made the dirt sheets.
Mike Mitchell
I would have made. I would have made the dirt sheets.
Tom Walker
Meltzer would know the name Mike Mitchell.
Mike Mitchell
Meltzer would know. They would tie it to Samoa. I mean, like Samoa Joe I worked with.
Tiger Weger
He'd take heat.
Mike Mitchell
He would take heat. It would be a nightmare.
Tiger Weger
He'd have to make it into an angle.
Mike Mitchell
So look where you're walking CM Punk.
Tom Walker
Look, watch out, lest you might make Mike Mitchell a tidy bag of money. Get him back in the big leagues. You Logan Paul. I show speed.
Mike Mitchell
I. That's. That why you don't watch wrestling. But that is. I show speed.
Tiger Weger
I don't watch wrestling.
Mike Mitchell
You don't watch it anymore.
Tiger Weger
You can't say that. I check in with wrestling. I just, like. I'm not. I'm not following. I don't follow wwe.
Mike Mitchell
I did not know you get mad at this.
Tiger Weger
No, I'm just saying, like, it's not like I'm completely checked out. I just.
Mike Mitchell
I thought you were pretty checked out.
Tiger Weger
No, I mean, like, Logan Paul and I.
Mike Mitchell
And I show speed.
Tiger Weger
Are.
Mike Mitchell
Are wrestling a lot in the. In. In main event? They were. They were in WrestleMania, right?
Tom Walker
Yeah, I think so.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. Do you not watch?
Tom Walker
I mainly keep up with wrestling to check in on the guys that I like liked when I was a teenager to be like, are they still being treated well? All right, sweet. If Sami Zayn's good.
Mike Mitchell
Sami Zayn had a. Sami Zayn had just one little, little step back recently. He went on Kill Tony.
Tiger Weger
It got cut from the main broadcast.
Mike Mitchell
It got cut from the main broadcast.
Tom Walker
What do you say? Something like pro Palestinian or something. That's where they draw the line. God damn it.
Mike Mitchell
He did say something that I do think was like a. Like a. I like Sami Zayn and
Tiger Weger
I like Sami Zayn.
Mike Mitchell
Not everyone's supposed to. I think he. He is a funny guy. But also, not everyone should do stand up. I'm hearing that about myself too.
Tom Walker
There's a terrifying amount of people who are running towards open mic comedy, which I, you know, you're running as fast as you can to get away from it while you're doing it.
Mike Mitchell
Yes. 100.
Tom Walker
As a comedian. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
I remember Harris would always be like, I'm not like a real stand up. And I always be like, who cares? You're. You're like. You're like. Or he wouldn't. Sorry, I shouldn't say that because I do think Harris was a real standup, but he would be like, I'm like, not doing sets every night. And I'm like, right. Having a writing job and stuff like that. And I was like, that's cool. I like, you're. That. What are you doing?
Tiger Weger
That's a career path. I mean, some. Some standups are touring. Some standups end up writing or acting. It's fine.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. Yeah, whatever. Who cares? I'm not on stand up. Why? What Are you scared of saying who
Tiger Weger
cares, cuz Harris passed away?
Mike Mitchell
No, I. I care about that. For crying out loud.
Tom Walker
Wait, something happened to Harris?
Tiger Weger
Yeah, boy. Well, we'll catch up.
Mike Mitchell
How close were you guys?
Tom Walker
I thought we'd had a falling out years ago.
Mike Mitchell
Harris is fine then we'll talk to you after the show. Oh, boy. But no, I care about Harris. How dare you? How dare you?
Tiger Weger
I'm sorry. You care about, like, our friend dying and I care about pro wrestling.
Mike Mitchell
We'll leave it at that. Yeah, all right. Yeah, sure. That's even scales
Tiger Weger
rest in power. Harris level. One of the funniest.
Mike Mitchell
I acted the same way you did. You. You got more mad. That's why me saying that you didn't like rest. I know you did that, but I'm saying you still got more mad than I did about Harris. I had. I had a fake being mad about Harris for a second.
Tiger Weger
I wasn't actually mad.
Mike Mitchell
You weren't mad about wrestling?
Tiger Weger
No, I was just like. I was clarify.
Mike Mitchell
Well, all right then. That is.
Tom Walker
That is your whole time thinking about what it's going to be like, and it's more like it than you can ever imagine.
Mike Mitchell
You did doth protest a little. You got a little too upset about it.
Tiger Weger
Okay, fine. That's fine. I'll take.
Mike Mitchell
You don't watch it. You haven't. You haven't watched.
Tiger Weger
Especially when the NBA season is going.
Mike Mitchell
I haven't watched WWE in eons.
Tiger Weger
I never watched wwe. Yeah, but. Aw, check it out.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, we haven't done in a while. And also, you're not the only one. I mean, maybe it is time. Maybe it is a time in our lives to stop watching. To put away childish things. Is it time to put away the childish things? Or do you. Or like me, do you watch Super Mario Galaxy last night? Very late.
Tiger Weger
You know, I also watched the Mario movie, Emilia Marino. What was your superior rating?
Mike Mitchell
Oh, fucking shit.
Amelia Marino
I haven't seen Galaxy yet, but the other one. Yeah, from 2023. Five stars.
Tiger Weger
There you go.
Tom Walker
Wow.
Tiger Weger
Big fan.
Mike Mitchell
Fucking dumb Italian piece of shit. It's a fucking.
Emma Erdbrink
It is.
Mike Mitchell
It's. It is because he's an Italian plumber that you went so high on this.
Amelia Marino
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Because you gave mar. You gave The Muppet Movie 3.5 stars. Oh, shit. Wait. All right. No, we can talk about this.
Amelia Marino
I think so.
Mike Mitchell
It's come out. It's come out.
Tiger Weger
It came out. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
You gave The Muppet Movie 3.5 stars. You gave the Mario Movie 5 stars.
Amelia Marino
It just depends on My mood when I'm watching the movie or the experience I had or, you know, the circumstances surrounding the movie going. Experience. Maybe I was in a bad mood the day I saw the Muppets for movie. I also have a crush on Luigi.
Mike Mitchell
You have a crush on Luigi?
Amelia Marino
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
I was saying that you're getting too close to the. When you're reviewing and that it's spilled over into your movie reviews. Because I think that a 5 for a Mario movie and a 3.5 for the Muppet movie is out of control.
Tiger Weger
All this stuff is.
Mike Mitchell
Alex. Alex Furer texted me and said that he was. He said that he thanks me for support for defending the Muppet movie.
Tiger Weger
We all liked it.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah, I don't know what you were defending.
Tiger Weger
We all enjoyed it.
Emma Erdbrink
I saw it.
Mike Mitchell
All right, can I go off on the Mara movie for a second? I love. I love you. I know you went and did the thing.
Tom Walker
I don't care.
Tiger Weger
Go say whatever you want.
Mike Mitchell
Sorry.
Tiger Weger
You don't have to apologize to me.
Mike Mitchell
Sorry. I know that you. I know that you. Bow down to the man.
Tiger Weger
All right, our guest hosts, the great Australian Bake off on the podcast bigsofttitty Pe png. Tom Walker is here. Hi, Tom. Thanks so much for being here.
Tom Walker
Thank you so much for having me.
Tiger Weger
I'm so, so thrilled you made time for us. Visit from Australia. Of course. Visiting la.
Tom Walker
Yes.
Emma Erdbrink
Movie.
Mike Mitchell
Like the Mara movies. Insulting our children's intelligence.
Tom Walker
I'm. Children are pretty dumb, man.
Mike Mitchell
That's true.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
What.
Tom Walker
What do you. What are you watching when you grew up? Like, I was just looking at shapes and sounds.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Pratt, you're my boy. Jack Black is my boy. I love those guys.
Tom Walker
Oh, Chris Pratt is so funny. He's my favorite stand up.
Mike Mitchell
Chris Pratt is my favorite stand up.
Tom Walker
Yeah, I haven't. I haven't seen him do it, but I just know it's going to be
Tiger Weger
so fucking good if he did it. He'd be so good.
Mike Mitchell
Jack Black is my boy. I love Jack Black and I. Pratt was very nice to me when I filmed Tomorrow War. A nice enough man. And he is Mario.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
And I don't. Look, I'm going after those movies. I just saw Super Mario Galaxy last night and it's just not a movie in many ways.
Tiger Weger
Well, okay, so this is the thing. And have you seen this? The Mario Galaxy? No.
Mike Mitchell
I'm not in trouble. I can't make fun of the Mario.
Tom Walker
I'm specifically laughing at you saying that he had sold out and was sucking the corporate dick. And then you Backtracking and be like, obviously, of course, we love the stars. I mean, obviously, Chris Pratt can do no wrong. You know, I mean, the guy's. The guy's bankable movie star.
Mike Mitchell
A former friend of the pod, Chris Black. Jack Black. We haven't had on.
Tiger Weger
Wow.
Amelia Marino
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
We'll figure it out.
Mike Mitchell
Chris has been on, but what?
Tiger Weger
Yes, I, I, I. Apparently Miyamoto. Shigeru Miyamoto himself said that his. That he was almost thinking of this as like a collection of YouTube clips that it's like, almost. You think of a young kid watching it. They watch YouTube now and they just watch a bunch of short videos. So it kind of makes sense in the way the movie is structured because it's not really a traditional narrative. It's a bunch of disconnected set pieces that just kind of go from one to the other.
Mike Mitchell
Can I just say this? Mario turns into a baby in the movie in front of Peach.
Tiger Weger
He gets babality.
Mike Mitchell
He gets babality, turns to a baby, and then turns back into adult. And a Peach never says anything about it, which is kind of crazy.
Tom Walker
How long is it there between the baby and the adulting?
Mike Mitchell
Sorry. I mean, it is like. It's like, I don't. In that world. Maybe an hour or so. They encounter a dinosaur.
Tiger Weger
They do encounter a dinosaur.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. They encounter the T. Rex from Mario Odyssey. Didn't. Didn't you think that the T. Rex was going to be unbabified at the end to, like, get Bowser? I thought that because, like, the little baby T. Rex is with them.
Tiger Weger
Then you have to remember that part.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, yeah. You had to remember one part of the movie.
Tiger Weger
Again, kids are watching much of YouTube.
Mike Mitchell
You were just so horny seeing Fox. McLeod.
Tiger Weger
That's horny as.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, no, I can tell Lux is looking good. I got something for your other forearm, which will be convenient because you can just fucking look down as you jack himself off.
Tom Walker
Wow. Think of all the money you'll save on data.
Tiger Weger
Who is the. Who's. Who's the hottest Fox? Is it, Is it, is it McLeod? Is it the.
Mike Mitchell
What's the best Creep? You're gonna go Radiohead creep over TLC's creep?
Tiger Weger
I just don't know. They're the TLC one off the top of my head, so I'd probably go Radiohead by default. Not even the hugest, like, fan of that song, but, you know, it's a good song. Sure, I think. Okay, so we got Fox, McLeod. We got Nick Wilde from Zootopia.
Tom Walker
Fantastic Mr. Fox.
Tiger Weger
Fantastic Mr. Fox. And then we Got Robin Hood Fox.
Tom Walker
Robin Hood Fox clears for me. I mean, just like that's a such an easy. Oh, but Zootopia is so good.
Mike Mitchell
Is Robin Hood Fox a little Brit? Is he a little Brit?
Tom Walker
Pardon me
Tiger Weger
once more.
Mike Mitchell
Is Robin Hood Foxy a little British bitch? Is that his deal?
Tiger Weger
I don't think so. I don't remember him having a British voice.
Tom Walker
I believe him to be American.
Mike Mitchell
He's an American voice. Hell yeah. He's number one for me too.
Tom Walker
We even got your Robin Hood. We got your folk hero.
Tiger Weger
What have you gotten up to out here in the City of Angels?
Tom Walker
Oh my God. Thank you so much for asking. Of course. And absolutely to you as well. Uh, yeah, I'm letting you out to speak. Um, no, it's awesome being here. Of course. I'm out here meeting with a 24. A 24 year old twitch streamer I find very attractive.
Tiger Weger
Okay.
Tom Walker
Uh, no, I'm doing like a bunch of shit. Like I'm going to restaurants and cafes. Basically I'm out here because my friends at Stampdown are filming their special. And I realized that I could come out and watch it be filmed and also just kind of be a calming presence for them to have around. That's fun. Yeah. So I went to clown college with like Zack Zucker and Viggo Van and Johnny Woolley and all these freaks. All these horrid little freaks. And we did the Edinburgh Fringe with each other.
Mike Mitchell
Zack Zucker, one of the Zucker brothers.
Tom Walker
Or no different from them.
Mike Mitchell
Okay.
Tom Walker
Actually somehow not a Nepo baby from the Zucker dynasty, but was very close to being canceled for that.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, my God.
Tom Walker
Yeah. People were saying that he was like, oh, God, of course. This guy is getting, you know, prominence based on his name. And he's like, no, I'm just.
Mike Mitchell
I'm another Zucker. I'm a different Zucker.
Tom Walker
He's a different guy. Yeah, Zach's one of the funniest.
Mike Mitchell
And yeah, his name is Zack Zucker.
Tom Walker
His name is Zack Zucker, which is
Mike Mitchell
pretty damn good, bro.
Tom Walker
Zack Zucker and Viggo Van. Two real names and a performing duo par excellence.
Mike Mitchell
That's wild. Let's talk about Clown VV and zz. That's right. That's fucking cool.
Tiger Weger
Let's talk about clown college a little bit. So this was like a. This was not like the workshop that Amelia took. Although that. That's certainly like a thing that people do. This was more of. A little bit more intensive than that.
Mike Mitchell
Did you take any classes with Wag's dad as a Professor.
Tiger Weger
My dad is not a. My dad is not a clown. He was. He was a professor of chemistry in organic clowning.
Mike Mitchell
At all?
Tiger Weger
No, he didn't teach clowning.
Tom Walker
No. But I remember that I did kind of learn chemistry from him. I learned how to, like, run a hand down the back and, you know, kind of make eye contact. I think he was the guy who actually taught me the move of pressing someone up against the wall with. By their neck and then putting a hand behind. But I digress. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Break down the chemical compounds of, like, an animal balloon or something like that.
Tiger Weger
That is not clown.
Tom Walker
Doing a whole semester on different animals.
Mike Mitchell
Your dad doesn't even care that I say that.
Tiger Weger
He's.
Emma Erdbrink
He.
Mike Mitchell
We. We have fun.
Tiger Weger
We're having fun. I'm having fun. You having fun over there? We're all having fun.
Emma Erdbrink
Me too.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, we're having more blast.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
No classes from. All right, so you didn't. Wykestad wasn't a professor. No. Okay.
Tom Walker
No, he was a student, just like me. We went to. Look. Philippe Gollier, which is Philippe Gollier's school. He's just passed. You may know him as the guy in a clip with. Which is a baffling thing, which is him. Hillary Clinton and Natalie Palamides.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, yes.
Tom Walker
Yes. Talking about whether. What it takes for a woman to be clown.
Mike Mitchell
That locked my vote in for Hillary that day.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, wait, was it. Was it after she ran? Oh, shit.
Tom Walker
So that might be why she lost. Came in just a little bit too
Mike Mitchell
late over the line.
Tom Walker
But, yeah, I went there. So it's basically a place that you get yelled at by a old French guy for two years. And the whole thing is that they don't tell you how to do stuff. They just are like, yeah, that sucks. Do it differently.
Tiger Weger
Wow.
Tom Walker
It kind of simulates like doing comedy and like a sketch or open mic kind of thing.
Mike Mitchell
Sure.
Tom Walker
But it makes you listen to it because you, like, if you bomb, you do need to change something. But in this case, they're like, hey, just instead of like, you know, if you get up and bomb, you can kind of walk away from it. At clown college, like, if you bomb, they grab you back of your head and, like, push you into the shit and, like, rub your face in it. Just like. Just remember that that wasn't funny.
Mike Mitchell
What bits? What, like, what are you doing, like, high performance? Is it like a sort of high performance bits? Are you doing, like a thing where it's like a sound and movement sort of thing, or is it like you're Telling jokes or like, what is it?
Tom Walker
It's whatever. And that's the horrible thing about it, is literally one of the exercises is, like, there's an empty stage, and he says, somebody go up and make me laugh. And he's sitting there with a drum, and when he hits it, you have to stop and.
Mike Mitchell
Wow.
Tom Walker
And then he'll, like. And then he'll go around the class and be like, ah, you know, dumb. He was not funny, was he? Ah, goodness, no. He was not funny. Nick, do you think. You think Tommy's funny?
Tiger Weger
You laugh and you have to say, no, sir.
Tom Walker
That's right. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
And then if someone says, dancing for the man once again.
Tom Walker
Yeah. God, if Chris Pratt was up there, he'd be fucking making me laugh.
Mike Mitchell
Do you think the Mario movie is good, Nick?
Tiger Weger
The Scottish Italian guy?
Tom Walker
Yeah. Yeah. So I went to clown college with those guys. Yeah. And. Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Was this in Paris? Was this.
Tom Walker
Yeah, like an hour out of Paris by train. So it's in a place called eTamp, which is why their show is called Stamp Town, because ETAMP is like, stamps.
Tiger Weger
So you lived in France for two years going to clown college?
Tom Walker
I don't speak the language. I didn't learn shit. I've wasted my life.
Tiger Weger
That's wild.
Tom Walker
Yeah, it's weird.
Mike Mitchell
Did you. What did you do? Some people not graduate. Like, is it like you don't graduate?
Tom Walker
No. Here's the great thing about it. You don't need to audition or qualify. You just had to pay for the course.
Mike Mitchell
Okay.
Tom Walker
And now, Philippe Gollier, rest in peace, dead.
Tiger Weger
Wow.
Tom Walker
So now it's run by his wonderful wife, Mishko, who is a. An incredible teacher and an absolute terror. My. My main memory of her was her doing a movement course and at one point, making everybody run around and then catching a student and tripping her to the ground and then elbow dropping her. Oh, man, she fucking rocks. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Anyway, man, we got to open the Doughboys podcasting school.
Tom Walker
You guys would do so good. I mean, you would make so much evil.
Mike Mitchell
The smackerinos we'd make.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
That's the real way to monetize Amelia Marino. Is that what you just said?
Mike Mitchell
No, I did not. When I said smackerinos. I was not thinking about smacking Emilia Marino.
Amelia Marino
Cancel his ass.
Mike Mitchell
I was thinking about the smackerino. You know what I'm talking about? Cold, hard smackerino.
Tiger Weger
The real way to make money in this industry is to teach classes. So I think if we can, we can eventually.
Mike Mitchell
I think the real way to make money is to just, like, Cheat people is the.
Tiger Weger
I'm not, I'm saying we're saying the same thing in different words.
Mike Mitchell
I'm not saying college. That sounds like. Honestly, I.
Tom Walker
No, no, no, no, no, you're right.
Mike Mitchell
I took comedy classes. I took a lot of comedy classes, as did you. You took some comedy classes?
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
How do you think you end up coming up with Scottish, Italian guy?
Mike Mitchell
We'll teach it in the doughboys course, I think. Yes. The way that you make the most money is by cheating people in some ways.
Tom Walker
What's the worst class you guys ever did?
Mike Mitchell
Comedy class or no?
Tom Walker
Any. I remember I did a self tape class.
Mike Mitchell
And I did a self tape class as well.
Tom Walker
Yeah. At the end of it, it was, like, really strange because he got everyone to go around and tell, like, an emotional story from their life. And, like, everyone else was, like, crying and stuff based on, you know, them having, like, trauma and stuff. And I was like, I don't want to do this.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
So I just made up something that's,
Mike Mitchell
that's, that, that is.
Tiger Weger
What did you make up?
Tom Walker
I can't remember. I think I just said, like, ah, Yeah, I got dumped, which would never happen to me.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah.
Tom Walker
So, yeah, this girl, this gal dumped me. This dame got my heartstrings.
Mike Mitchell
And then you were like, I'm sad. Or you were, like, pretending to be sad about it, or I was going, boohoo.
Tom Walker
Yeah. No, but, like, it was, it was so clearly, like, it was meant. And it was like, oh. It was marketed the whole time as, like, what we're going to do at the end of this course. I need you to not tell anyone about it.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Even if you advise someone to take the class, I implore you, do not tell them what we do at the end of this course. And then, like, for the first, like, day or so, he was, like, hyping it up. And then it was just like, tell me the saddest shit that's ever happened to you. And it was like this weird love bombing or, like, you know, a huge emotion bomb going off at the end, which is just, like, supposed to kind of make people think about it. I don't know what's the worst classic guy's done.
Mike Mitchell
I think that for me, I won't say it because it will be. I can't say it exactly, but you can take different form.
Tom Walker
Okay.
Tiger Weger
You can, you can, you can.
Mike Mitchell
What?
Tom Walker
You said, did Pratt teach a course?
Mike Mitchell
No, I, I, I loved when I
Tiger Weger
worked with movie form.
Mike Mitchell
There is a movie form.
Tiger Weger
I know.
Mike Mitchell
This is, this is, this is what I'm saying is that there is like forms like this in improv. I'm thinking like I took a class that was like on one of those forms and I was like, I don't like this.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, I. I will say I can't
Mike Mitchell
say too much more.
Tiger Weger
I took, I took. I've taken like one or two acting classes in my life. When I thought I knew. I think I've taken two, two acting classes. The one I should be an actor because that's what people do out here. And then I realize I. I can't do it and don't really want to.
Mike Mitchell
You can do it.
Tiger Weger
Well, I don't want to. How about that? I don't want to.
Mike Mitchell
That's better.
Tiger Weger
And so. And there's enough people or you.
Mike Mitchell
I would have accepted or I stink at it.
Tiger Weger
I'm also. I also stink at it anyway.
Mike Mitchell
That's not true. He's good at it.
Tiger Weger
Then why would you have accepted it?
Mike Mitchell
Because I. Because I would have accepted that you think you stink at it.
Tom Walker
But why wouldn't you accept him saying that he can't do it?
Mike Mitchell
Cuz I want to hear him say that he. A thing that none of us want. Apparently. Bad breath for me, worse than the bad breath is the one I'm afraid of the most.
Tom Walker
Really.
Tiger Weger
So I went to this class. I went to. I went to it twice and then I just didn't go back. But it was like it was fine, it was whatever. But the second it was one of those places where it was exactly what you're describing about clowns, about clown class, where it was. I'll show, I'll tell you what you're doing wrong. But I'm not going to. I'm not going to give you anything that steer you in the right direction.
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tiger Weger
But there was a part where he was like did a magic trick to kind of impress everybody and then he fucked up the trick. And it was one of those things of like sometimes a magician's like, oh, I did it wrong. I guess this is your car. You know what I mean? That's part of a misdirect. And they have the prestige of it seemed like he was doing that, but he was like, no, I just did it wrong. So yeah, I usually do it right. And then that was it. He went back into class. It's like he totally lost everyone's respect.
Mike Mitchell
That's really good. It was an acting class.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Well why was he doing magic anyways?
Tiger Weger
These guys are probably all trying to their students.
Mike Mitchell
That's another Part of being in classes.
Tiger Weger
Another benefit.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom Walker
There's something about.
Mike Mitchell
I'm gonna tell people when I have it on for when I do. When I do marriage. Dr. Evil and I let people know. This is not my wedding ring.
Tiger Weger
Right, right, right.
Mike Mitchell
This is a prop wedding ring. You can once you want to me after I do this bit me.
Tom Walker
But you got like a snap release ring that you can just press a button on and it like falls off
Tiger Weger
your snap release ring with a button under your desk that locks the door.
Mike Mitchell
A lot of. I saw a lot of horny teachers in my time.
Tiger Weger
Yeah. I remember Alex Fernie, our buddy Alex Fernie. His joke about someone at UCB who had a reputation for dating their students. I said, he's fucked more students than no Child Left Behind.
Mike Mitchell
That's a good one, Bernie.
Tom Walker
That's good.
Mike Mitchell
I was never hot for teacher. I never had a moment where I was hot for teacher.
Tiger Weger
Really?
Mike Mitchell
Oh, there is actually. I can think of one now. I changed my mind. There is. Nah, not a ton. I had so many old teachers growing up that I like. There's one I'm now thinking of a substitute teacher that I. I thought was pretty.
Tiger Weger
Tom, you ever get a crush on a teacher?
Tom Walker
Thank you so much for asking.
Tiger Weger
Of course.
Tom Walker
Not a problem. And to you as well. No, I'm usually in love with my wife. Commonly.
Tiger Weger
You're our wife guy.
Mike Mitchell
You're a wife guy.
Tom Walker
Of course, now that I'm in la,
Mike Mitchell
I am the most honorable guy of all. The wife guy. Yes.
Tiger Weger
We love our wife.
Tom Walker
Famously immune from falling from grace. Yeah, no, I think I look, I think there's that one person in high school where like you see a teacher that's like close in age, that's not in their 30s, and you're like, oh, wow, you know what? Maybe I'll shampoo my hair in case Ms. Richards wants to fuck me later.
Tiger Weger
Right?
Tom Walker
Like just the. Yeah, the standard.
Mike Mitchell
You might want to throw a scream mask on and fuck it. This is an American story.
Tom Walker
Okay, thank you.
Tiger Weger
There was a gang bang involving a teacher who put on. Had the students wear scream masks while they pleasured her.
Tom Walker
Awesome.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, pretty cool.
Mike Mitchell
That's cool. Which led to me saying, do you like teachers? Boobies. And people didn't really like that.
Tiger Weger
They didn't care for it. I didn't care for it.
Mike Mitchell
I thought it was good too. There was. There was. There was a recent one where the lady just.
Tiger Weger
She.
Tom Walker
There was a reason.
Mike Mitchell
There's. I mean, they happen all the time in the States, unfortunately, But there was one. She was. She was. She was like 25. I mean, I'm not saying that's okay.
Tom Walker
She was not the worst thing that she was.
Mike Mitchell
She was a younger. She was a younger lady. She was like 25 and the kid was like 17. But her hus. She had a husband.
Tiger Weger
Oh boy.
Mike Mitchell
And then the husband has stayed with her. Like this is the one I was reading about just most recently. But there's a lot of these.
Tom Walker
Do you have like a Google alert?
Mike Mitchell
I do have. There is a Google alert.
Amelia Marino
Okay, cool.
Mike Mitchell
Cool.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, you mentioned. You mentioned your wife guy. I. I met your lovely wife Demi Lardner who co. Host. Co hosts BigSoft ID PNG with you. A Patreon. I subscribe to very, very funny show when she was visiting la. This was last year, I believe, maybe a couple years ago.
Mike Mitchell
Do you subscribe to it through Doughboys or.
Tiger Weger
No, no, it's my own Patreon.
Mike Mitchell
I would have. It would have been. It would have been. Could have been cool for both of us to subscribe because I.
Tiger Weger
You can also subscribe.
Tom Walker
That was kind of cool because you can tell that Mitch had his cake and ate it too because he could get mad at you either way.
Tiger Weger
So I emailed because I knew you were. You were out here in LA via our buddy Libby Watson, who also joined us for lunch, which we'll talk about. I emailed Demi for your number and she gave it to me. And so I texted your number and the text I received back was I have this written down verbatim. This is the worst thing tats ever happened to me. This is Demi and I gave you my number by accident. She gave. She gave me her own phone number.
Tom Walker
I love her so much.
Tiger Weger
That was great.
Tom Walker
Yeah. She was like the number. I know you're lucky. She just didn't give you like five, you know, like she is so. I love my wife very much.
Tiger Weger
She's great.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
One place, one thing Demi brought up while we were hanging IRL with her and Libby and Brendan James was her enthusiasm for. Not for doing the practice herself, but for. For knowing of people who have engaged in self sucking. My understanding is that you are also an auto fellatio enthusiast.
Tom Walker
I. Well, I don't do it myself but I do love the guys who engage in it. Yeah, they're really funny.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
I like no one.
Mike Mitchell
No one here does that shit.
Tom Walker
But yeah, I've got again want to emphasize I listen to the show. Yeah, no, I. I really like reading about the self suck guys because they just have so many. I mean it's like. It's a bunch of things. The, the posts on there are always the same. It's always like, hey, how do you do this? Hey, this really hurts. Should I stop? And the answer is yes. And they say, well, I don't think I'm gonna. And then the photography of it is always so miserably flawed that it borders on like art.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah.
Tom Walker
It is always flash on, middle of the night, way too close, red in the eyes like. It's so good, man. Every single time. I found a video the other day of a guy sucking himself off in a kayak and he was like in the water, he was really funny. To see a guy rocking from side to side. Have you ever seen a guy with his cock in his mouth lose his balance slightly? Because the mix of pleasure and fear. Intoxicating was.
Mike Mitchell
People are beautiful is all I have to say to that.
Tom Walker
There's so many different kinds of person to be in this world.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, that's what it is. People are amazing. That's what the whale says.
Tiger Weger
Was he like sort of like hunched over forward in like this. What would be the rowing position? Or was he more like laying on his back legs over his head, flat position?
Tom Walker
No, no, he was. He was sitting forward and then just like going glow down to his. His crotch was staying in the usual kayak space.
Tiger Weger
Got it. Got it.
Tom Walker
But he was, he was blessed with a magnificent penis, which he.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, sure.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, that's. I think that's a part of the equation.
Tiger Weger
I think there's a lot of guys.
Tom Walker
Yeah, there's a lot of guys on there being like, hey, well, I have an average small dick. Do you guys think I can do it? And there's a lot of big dick guys on there, giving them the benefit of the doubt and going like, well, anybody can give it a try.
Mike Mitchell
It's like you gotta be pretty flexible.
Tiger Weger
I feel like.
Tom Walker
Yeah, it's really. Some, Some people are starting on third base, you know.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Like they're. They only got a short dash to make it to home.
Mike Mitchell
I would need. I mean, I'm not flexible. I was just trying to see what it would. I'm. I was just testing my limits there.
Tiger Weger
Right.
Mike Mitchell
And I would. That's gigantic.
Tiger Weger
Imagine if you had that golf there.
Mike Mitchell
Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big a long ways to go with the whale. Just to be clear. The whale says people are amazing.
Tiger Weger
The whale says people are amazing. The whale does not self suck.
Mike Mitchell
The whale does not.
Tiger Weger
He has too much body mass. Although he is very, very into jacking off.
Tom Walker
Are you speaking About Pycon the Mighty Tulkun.
Tiger Weger
No, we're talking about the whale. We're talking about Brendan Fraser's Oscar winning performance.
Tom Walker
My bad. I mixed up my cinema whales.
Emma Erdbrink
All right.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, G. They came out the same year, though. Easy mistake.
Tom Walker
Oh, I wonder if Brandon auditioned for. Never mind. Probably not. They probably wanted to keep it cgi.
Tiger Weger
It was actually Payakan audition for the whale. Yeah, he booked Avatar. Way of Bond. There's a conflict. No, they just couldn't. He couldn't do both. It was a scheduling issue.
Tom Walker
I saw his tape, though. And then, you know, when they pressed the big eye up against the door for the meatball sub arriving, it was like, really beautiful.
Mike Mitchell
I can relate to that. That's actually probably the most relatable thing that would happen in the movie is a big eye going at the door when the meatball sub arrives. Everything else. Not that. Not that. Relatable. Candy bars and draws. Come on. That's like such a fat guy trope of like a draw full of candy bars.
Tiger Weger
You don't. You don't think that's like a. That's based in reality? I think people do that. I think people have a store.
Mike Mitchell
It's so. It's. It's.
Amelia Marino
It's.
Mike Mitchell
It's too on the. No, the. Like just a. I. I know that
Tiger Weger
movie is too on the nose. I agree.
Mike Mitchell
Yes. Yeah.
Tom Walker
Do you think it's a movie about a fat guy written by a thin person?
Mike Mitchell
Yes, I think that is the issue. That's the. I think that is the main issue.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Right.
Mike Mitchell
I think you, like, got chubby at one point, but, like, was just chubby.
Tom Walker
Right. Stolen Valor.
Mike Mitchell
I would take that. Would you take the whale class? Would you go on and get taught by the whale?
Tiger Weger
You mean, like his literature class? Whatever.
Mike Mitchell
How to float class. Would you do it?
Tiger Weger
Yeah, I'd love to learn how to float.
Mike Mitchell
Did you say what your. Your. Oh, yeah. Yours was an acting class and mine was. And wait, did you say what yours was?
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was talking about the self tape.
Mike Mitchell
Self tape.
Tiger Weger
Emma.
Mike Mitchell
Emily. Slating class. Have you ever taken a slating class?
Tom Walker
No.
Tiger Weger
Slating. That's like how to. To say your name.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
There are full classes.
Mike Mitchell
I think there are. I don't know. Maybe I'm making it up.
Emma Erdbrink
I mean, I believe someone's taking money for that.
Tom Walker
Yeah. 100. That's the type of thing you charge for. This is the secret, secret source to get your audition noticed. I started fucking around with my slates because I didn't believe that Anybody watched them? And nobody's called my bluff yet, but I started, like, adding sound effects in.
Mike Mitchell
That's good.
Tom Walker
Yeah, it's fun to do. They're watching a whole bunch of them. Why not?
Emma Erdbrink
Probably makes them remember you a little more. Right.
Mike Mitchell
You know what? I did a slate yesterday, so maybe there is a slay class. I did a slate and Irma walked through it and I was like, that's my cat Irma. And I was like, I'm gonna use that one because it's cute.
Tom Walker
Leave the camera on. Start yelling at her.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, yeah. What the are you doing?
Tom Walker
Stay out of my.
Mike Mitchell
What?
Tiger Weger
I think there's some of our audience probably doesn't know what a slate is. Do you want to. Mitch, as a professional actor, do you want to eliminate.
Mike Mitchell
Yes, I will tell you. Okay.
Emma Erdbrink
Hey.
Tiger Weger
Hi.
Mike Mitchell
My name is Mike Mitchell. I'm reading for the role of the whale. I'm 6 foot 3. I'm based in Los Angeles, California, and I do have a valid passport. Thank you. That's a.
Tom Walker
That was really good. Electric.
Tiger Weger
You should teach a slate class. Yeah, that was fucking good.
Tom Walker
How'd you remember all that?
Mike Mitchell
I can't wait to get my hands on those slate students.
Tiger Weger
I'm Amelia. Do you ever have a really bad glass?
Amelia Marino
I can't think of a. A bad class I've taken, but I. I did take my first ever acting class. Acting for TV class I took. They were like, okay, just slate. And I have, like a film background, so they're like, okay, give your slate. And I did this.
Mike Mitchell
I knew it. I knew it, I knew it. I knew you did that.
Tom Walker
Let's go.
Tiger Weger
Pretty good.
Amelia Marino
I mean, I didn't know.
Emma Erdbrink
You're not wrong with that either.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, yeah.
Emma Erdbrink
Skin slate. What do they call it?
Mike Mitchell
Did you just do that or did you say something?
Amelia Marino
I did this. And the whole class laughed at me. And I. And then they were like, okay. They explained it. I was like, okay. And I did. I did it for real.
Mike Mitchell
That's good.
Emma Erdbrink
You're like, oops, I have a film background. I can't think of, like, an acting class or anything I've ever taken that was bad. I had to take a sound class in college that was called Critical Listening. And it was a four hour night class once a week where the professor had, like, the most monotone voice in the world, and it would. He would, like, play white noise and amplify different frequencies, and we were supposed to, like, try to identify them to, like, train our ears. And it was the most.
Mike Mitchell
Most.
Emma Erdbrink
I like, could. I could still just like, pull my eyes out of my head thinking about it. It was the worst class in the world. I hated it. I used to get so high before it did help. Wow.
Tiger Weger
Sounds boring as it was.
Emma Erdbrink
So that's.
Mike Mitchell
That's. I took. I took in Ithaca. Did you take the class that was like, where you watch films and it's a six hour class, right? It's like from 4pm to 10pm, which
Amelia Marino
it's already, like, at 4pm that class is a movie. So it's fun, but it's.
Mike Mitchell
But, oh, we would watch like three movies.
Emma Erdbrink
Sometimes our screening period. Sometimes it was like, sometimes you got to watch a fun movie. And then sometimes it was like, here's a bunch of, like, old things that we study. And so you're like, this isn't as entertaining as much as it is. Yeah. Studying.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. It'd be like three Sergey Eisenstein movies. I'm like, I don't.
Amelia Marino
I liked it.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, you. That's bullshit.
Amelia Marino
What?
Mike Mitchell
I took a class. Some of it I took. I took a class at Boss BU for a summer, and then they showed us Chinatown and all that jazz. And I was like, this is so much fucking. And two classic movies. I was like, it's so much better than the.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Other. Hold on a second.
Tiger Weger
I bet a button just got.
Mike Mitchell
I'm doing something, too. I'm doing something with my shirt.
Tiger Weger
We're doing stuff. Don't look at us. We're doing stuff.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Emma Erdbrink
Cut to Jimmy.
Tiger Weger
We've.
Emma Erdbrink
So.
Tiger Weger
Okay, so you're.
Tom Walker
I'm looking at a picture of a naked guy.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, let me get.
Tom Walker
Oh, do you want to see it? It's pretty funny.
Tiger Weger
That guy's got a.
Mike Mitchell
No, no.
Tiger Weger
I mean, that guy's got a pretty. This is from Decent Hog.
Tom Walker
This is from a subreddit called Please Draw Me Not Safe for Work. So it's a bunch of people posting, like, very.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, that's a really. The thing is these are really unflattering angles.
Tom Walker
This is really good.
Mike Mitchell
Okay. I do have a bigger dick than that.
Tom Walker
No, A million percent.
Mike Mitchell
I do have a bigger dick than that guy.
Tom Walker
You truly cannot.
Emma Erdbrink
YouTube won't allow this, but airdrop it to us.
Tom Walker
It's really. It's really good.
Tiger Weger
You can show us on this blue.
Tom Walker
I think Amelia would really like this one.
Emma Erdbrink
You can share it.
Amelia Marino
I'll turn on my airdrop.
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike Mitchell
You getting. You're getting airdrop pornography. Just so you. Just so you're aware, he's sending you
Tiger Weger
pics of two naked older men.
Tom Walker
Yeah. Is that okay?
Amelia Marino
Yes, yes.
Emma Erdbrink
Okay.
Amelia Marino
You have my permission. I115.
Tom Walker
All right, well, I'll wait around.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, man, I really hope that you get that one right. Whoever. If you're airdropping someone and I'll just
Tom Walker
email that to Studio G Lift. All right. Yeah, we're good to go.
Tiger Weger
Can we get some. Can we get some dick rates?
Mike Mitchell
Dick rates?
Tiger Weger
Yeah, do some dick ratings.
Amelia Marino
Oh, like hatching print.
Mike Mitchell
Did you just ask our employees to give dick ratings?
Tiger Weger
Well, I mean, you're looking at these dicks. I mean, you don't have to do that, obviously.
Amelia Marino
Wait, I don't see it yet.
Tom Walker
I can't see you on airdrop. Oh, you know what it might be? Maybe you're not discoverable by me. Yeah, come on over and look.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, good. That's the thing to do when you
Mike Mitchell
get this dick rating. You better be nice.
Tom Walker
There's like a four photo run, so if you just swipe from here.
Tiger Weger
Okay, great. Emma and Amelia both came over two.
Mike Mitchell
I didn't see that one.
Tom Walker
Oh, yeah. And then swipe.
Mike Mitchell
That's fine.
Tom Walker
That one's good because it's a slightly silly one.
Amelia Marino
This is unfortunate.
Tom Walker
That one's fun.
Emma Erdbrink
Not helping themselves with that positioning.
Tom Walker
They're really not circumcised.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Can I see these again?
Emma Erdbrink
Not even chubbed up.
Tom Walker
That's right. He is not circumcised.
Emma Erdbrink
I. I think the.
Tiger Weger
This is. This is a thing, though. You've identified.
Mike Mitchell
He actually might be chubbed up a little bit. Honestly.
Tom Walker
He might be working on it.
Tiger Weger
He's not hard, but he's a little chubbed up.
Emma Erdbrink
Okay, that's fair.
Amelia Marino
That's fair.
Tiger Weger
I think the first guy is the
Mike Mitchell
first guy I identify with.
Tom Walker
Yeah. The side view is very beautiful. I think he has a gorgeous profile.
Emma Erdbrink
He's like holding up his.
Tiger Weger
He does look great.
Amelia Marino
I forget the context of these photos.
Tom Walker
Ruben esque. I think it was just Robert.
Mike Mitchell
I just want you to.
Amelia Marino
On the catching Prince, scale the guy on his back.
Mike Mitchell
Be nice.
Amelia Marino
D, he gets a D. That is great.
Tom Walker
D for dick. Yeah.
Emma Erdbrink
D for dick.
Tiger Weger
I get D's all around.
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike Mitchell
He might work with it. Who knows what the fuck he does.
Emma Erdbrink
He might work with it.
Mike Mitchell
Play off of him.
Tiger Weger
No one's crit. No one's. This guy hasn't even been identified.
Mike Mitchell
Lay off me.
Tiger Weger
You've identified something, though, which is that a lot of these men who post nude pics online, they are not good at knowing their angles.
Tom Walker
They get all the passion and none of the execution.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
And God bless them. They just don't know how to take a nude. Like, I think it's one of those things where a lot of them grew up in a culture where you didn't know. You didn't take photographs of yourself because it was just like not the done thing. And then they try and do it and I mean it's. You get some really horrific examples.
Tiger Weger
Look, I've tried to take feed pics and it's challenging to try to try to get them right.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
It's just like you. And I've looked at guides too. I was like, how to take good feedback. Cause I was like, man, this is not like a. It's not rocket science. But it's also not like super easy necessarily.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah. Your class on taking feet.
Tom Walker
I think feet picks would be really hard because there's so many angles where it's like, oh, this is going to look like monstrously large. I think in an unappealing way.
Mike Mitchell
It'd be funny if your feet were as small as that guy's dick was. You had little fucking tiny feet, little baby feet.
Tiger Weger
I feel like some freaks would love that.
Mike Mitchell
I'm sure they would. I mean, there's also a part. I mean, I think that maybe was a micro penis, but, but, but also I think that there is some. I think there's people who like to show that off. Are into. That are into people seeing them anyway.
Tiger Weger
No, this is an observation from our mutual friend Jesse Farrar, which is that there's an inverse bell curve of guys who like to show their dicks. And it's guys with very small dicks and then down to a regular size to guys with very large dicks.
Tom Walker
Yes.
Tiger Weger
Because the small dick guys have humiliation fetishes and the large dick guys are showing off.
Mike Mitchell
Off.
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah.
Mike Mitchell
We were saying this. I. I got blood drawn.
Tiger Weger
Yeah. You've taken off one sleeve of your. Your top layer, your flannel shirt to reveal that you have got blood drawn.
Mike Mitchell
I was going to pull that. And then what we found out at lunch slash dinner, whatever. The 4pm 4p.
Tom Walker
Yeah. It's kind of some kind of never meal, isn't it?
Tiger Weger
It's a weird. It was.
Mike Mitchell
Except there was a lot of old people in there having dinner at 4pm yeah.
Tom Walker
That was crazy.
Mike Mitchell
There was a lot of. There was a lot of older people. We were there at 4. 4pm Wigs.
Tiger Weger
Yes.
Mike Mitchell
You got a little late. You got. You're almost. What time did you get there? Almost five.
Tiger Weger
I was an hour late because my work went an hour long. I was supposed to get out, like, earlier than that. And it just kept going.
Mike Mitchell
Hey. All the minutes I've been like, take an hour off of them. We're getting close.
Tom Walker
We're almost even looking at the national debt turning back. Like, one second.
Tiger Weger
I want to talk about Outback Steakhouse, but. But were we going somewhere with this?
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Okay, go for it.
Mike Mitchell
Okay, I. That was like a verklempt.
Amelia Marino
Little.
Mike Mitchell
Little John. Is his name Lil John?
Tiger Weger
Little John, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike Mitchell
But also I was thinking, Lil John is from Robin Hood, isn't he? Wow, there's two Little Johns. Okay. I was going somewhere with it. We. What we found out is that people like to keep their band aid. Because I said this in Libby and Susser both were like. I was like, I got. I gave blood today. And I was like, I gotta take this thing off.
Tiger Weger
Wait, you gave blood? You donated?
Mike Mitchell
No, no, no. Fuck no. No. My blood is my blood. Never. I've donated blood before. Of course.
Tiger Weger
You had blood drawn for my.
Mike Mitchell
I had blood drawn today, yes, for my prp. That's what it was for. I've given blood. You should give blood.
Tiger Weger
You've given enough blood to earn pumping some of it back into your.
Mike Mitchell
I should win the Golden Dracula for as much blood as I've given.
Tom Walker
It's okay to keep some blood for daddy?
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. Yes. I guess I want to keep a little bit of blood for myself. But I found out. I said, I gotta get, I gotta get. I gotta take this off. And then we found out that people like to keep the bandage on when they give blood. And I said, it's almost like I
Tiger Weger
keep saying give blood. You mean just when your blood drawn?
Mike Mitchell
When your blood gets drawn. Yeah. No matter what. Whether it's giving blood or blood drawn. No matter what. Just they like to keep the band aid on. And I was like, oh, it's kind of like keeping on like the I voted sticker. But I never. I never even thought about this before. I was like, oh, sometimes I'll keep it on to, like, show. And I don't know, it's a little. A human show off thing.
Tiger Weger
It is like the I voted sticker. Yeah, y'.
Tom Walker
All.
Tiger Weger
Y' all got them high voted stickers over there?
Tom Walker
We have some of them. And then we also have the classic sausage. Sausage win bread.
Tiger Weger
Well, I'm a fake country sausage win bread.
Tom Walker
Sausage and bread.
Mike Mitchell
That's what you guys have instead of I voted.
Tom Walker
Yeah. There's sausage sizzle near the voting place. And it. You get like a sausage and a slice of square bread with Some burnt onions and you.
Mike Mitchell
So much better.
Tiger Weger
How do we not have that? I don't have hot dogs at polling
Tom Walker
places because people don't want you to vote. And I. I hate to say it, but we have compulsory voting and then. Yeah, if you go there on. On a red date, there's this.
Mike Mitchell
So you take a picture with the sausage, basically.
Tom Walker
Yes, often.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Emma Erdbrink
Yes.
Tom Walker
And the sausage tastes nice.
Mike Mitchell
Really.
Tom Walker
It's yummy to eat.
Mike Mitchell
But that's. That's wild to me because I would think maybe like the state sausage would be bad.
Tom Walker
It's not like a state sponsored sausage, but like, it. It'll be like a buck or two bucks and then like, it'll go towards a local cause or whatever. It's neat.
Mike Mitchell
My feed people like, Mitch is voting every day.
Tom Walker
It's really. He's really gumming up the rolls.
Mike Mitchell
But. But I thought it was an interesting thing.
Tiger Weger
That's an interesting observation.
Mike Mitchell
People like to wear the. The bandage.
Tiger Weger
I do it. I'll keep wearing it.
Emma Erdbrink
It.
Tom Walker
Even.
Tiger Weger
Even if it's healed.
Mike Mitchell
I think maybe it is a thing of like, oh, that's noble. Or you gave blood or, or. Or you, like, you get like.
Tom Walker
It gives you a backstory. It gives you that little extra zing to be able to remember you by.
Mike Mitchell
How do you say.
Tom Walker
Do you reckon you'll just, you know.
Mike Mitchell
You don't agree with that, how I use that word?
Tiger Weger
I'm just. I'm not sure if in this usage it quite applies.
Mike Mitchell
No, I will. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Neither of us know French.
Tom Walker
Is that. I don't know. Know what?
Mike Mitchell
Yes.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
So it works.
Tom Walker
Gives you that something special.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom Walker
Do you reckon you'll just start putting on bandages?
Mike Mitchell
I maybe. Honestly. There. There. There are some. Nelly used to wear a bandage on his face.
Tiger Weger
He sure did.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, so did.
Tiger Weger
So did. So did tlc. So did T. At least a left eye, Lopez.
Mike Mitchell
That's right.
Tom Walker
It'd be really good if next Doughboys episode you were turning up with like the big bandaged head and then like the thermometer coming out of the mouth.
Mike Mitchell
Like a guy who had something fall on his head.
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Full traction cast.
Tiger Weger
Tlc.
Mike Mitchell
Life is a herald.
Tiger Weger
It sure is. I think you should go mummy. I think that'd be a good look for you.
Mike Mitchell
You think I should be wrapped in tape?
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah, it's gauze.
Mike Mitchell
Be wrapped in gauze from head to toe.
Tiger Weger
No, just like a. Just like a mummy look. Could be fun. People would Talk about that.
Mike Mitchell
I mean, people would talk about it, but they would mostly like, this man isn't lost his mind.
Tom Walker
Do you see that new Lee Cronin, Mummy?
Tiger Weger
No. Did you?
Tom Walker
Yes.
Mike Mitchell
How was it?
Tom Walker
I'll never tell.
Mike Mitchell
I'm pulling it off.
Tiger Weger
Okay, go for it.
Tom Walker
Wow.
Tiger Weger
Shooting out.
Mike Mitchell
His blood is not going to start shooting out.
Tiger Weger
The band aid is off.
Mike Mitchell
I did get a little stinger today. There is a little bruise that's formed.
Tiger Weger
Wow.
Tom Walker
Wow.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Wow.
Tiger Weger
I want to talk about the Great Australian Bake Off. Now, of course, we're, of course, a friend of the show.
Tom Walker
The.
Tiger Weger
The host of the American counterpart, Zach Cherry, the Great Australian Bake Off. Like, you've been doing this for a couple seasons now. I don't know. I mean, it's. To me, the interesting thing is you're such a funny guy, but obviously there's such a contrast between the two credits. I introduced you with a podcast called Bigsoft Titty png and something as wholesome as the Great Australian Bake Off.
Tom Walker
Yeah, I have a prime special which includes a bit where I, like, mime sucking my own dick for three and a half. Half minutes. Right. Like, yeah, it's very. It's very different. The crucial element there is that the production staff on Great Australian Bake off did not know who I am and still do not. So that's basically the secret sauce. I think the direct quote I got. They had to do, like a due diligence check of all my socials and shit. And actually, I don't know that I've talked about this. When I. My. My management messaged me, being like, hey, I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but they're scanning your socials just so you know. I was like, oh, okay, cool. And then they got really mad at me because I posted with no context. I hate bread. And then a picture of. That's really good.
Mike Mitchell
You knew they were scanning social media.
Tom Walker
I knew that they were gonna, like, be looking at my tweets for, like, you know, cancelable objectionable stuff. And then I just posted a picture of a loaf of bread and yuck.
Mike Mitchell
And then my manager got.
Tom Walker
Got really mad at me.
Mike Mitchell
I was going to say, did they. Did they accuse you of some self sabotage there? In a way, yeah.
Tom Walker
100%, yeah. They got very, very mad at me. But then the. The official stance on big soft Titty from the production, they talked to me after I got the job. They were like, yeah, I tried to listen to that. Didn't really get it. And I Was like, that's perfect.
Tiger Weger
There you go.
Tom Walker
Yeah. As long as you got out of there before the self suck roundup started or like Demi started talking about how she had. Demi had to run out of the room to have diarrhea, which happens like, I mean, truly at like, even greater than Doughboys levels.
Mike Mitchell
We were talking about live shows, whether we ever had to do it. I believe I was talking about this with Betsy when we were. When we did our live show at. In San Jose.
Tiger Weger
Have you ever had to leave a show to take?
Mike Mitchell
And I have had to run off stage at UCB before to go to the bathroom. And here we've definitely.
Tiger Weger
We did number one or number two? Two.
Mike Mitchell
Number two.
Tiger Weger
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
That's never happened to you before?
Tiger Weger
No.
Tom Walker
What's the wiping situation like?
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
And you know that the crowd is out there chanting for Mike.
Mike Mitchell
I still am just gonna take my. I mean, like, there's nothing. I. I don't think I've ever like, left the stage where it was like, I'm like gonna this show over, like, right, Like. Like a birthday boy show where I was in a sketch or something. I don't think I've done that, but I have, like, in an improv show or like hosting a show, I think I've been like, all right, whatever. It's the next act. I'm out of here. Like, I gotta go. You know what I mean? Like, I've y. But only like, not many times. I've been close multiple times. I feel like it's a hard. It's a thing you don't think about. Yeah, Jay, it's. This must have happened. Jay Leno, I'm sure, has eaten some bad. You know, had a bad oyster.
Tiger Weger
Hey, Kevin, vamp a little bit for me.
Mike Mitchell
A little bit take.
Tom Walker
They leave his mic on.
Emma Erdbrink
I got go lay.
Tom Walker
Oh, God, I'm pooping in the toilet.
Mike Mitchell
He comes back, there's like talking about
Tiger Weger
it the whole time.
Mike Mitchell
There's like a brown spot between his chin. And people are like, does he.
Emma Erdbrink
Does he.
Mike Mitchell
Does he out of his shit.
Tiger Weger
Functional butthole there.
Mike Mitchell
Is that a function? Is that where his butthole.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Let me get with some wipe on there. Bending at a right angle to use the bidet.
Tiger Weger
Goes on this. Oh, oh, that little bit there. Jay, what are you doing?
Mike Mitchell
Oh, that's nasty. Jay.
Tiger Weger
Turns out it was. Was chocolate.
Mike Mitchell
It was chocolate.
Tiger Weger
A. A whale style chocolate drawer. And he was. He went back.
Mike Mitchell
When I was done with the chin, I got a piece of chocolate from my throat. That's what it was.
Tiger Weger
That's what it was. Mystery solved.
Amelia Marino
I ate it.
Tiger Weger
It got in my chin.
Tom Walker
You guys ever seen that Family Guy episode where they have the.
Mike Mitchell
They probably Guy?
Tiger Weger
Yes.
Emma Erdbrink
Oh, yeah.
Amelia Marino
The.
Tiger Weger
He's kind of a recurring character guy.
Tom Walker
Yeah, Just I think, yeah, he has
Emma Erdbrink
that kind of voice that, like, high pitched.
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we're just doing like Jay Leno for long enough, it kind of fears closer.
Mike Mitchell
We were looking up some Family Guy plot like plots today, and one of them was Brian starts talking with, like, in a Cuban accent because he stated like, a Cuban woman. That's like a.
Tiger Weger
That's like a Hilaria Baldwin sort of thing.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Wow.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. If I came in. If. If I came into Doughboys and just. And I was like, hey, Wags, how are you doing, baby? You think that you would. How long you think it would take you to be like, what are.
Tiger Weger
Is that your idea of a Cuban accent?
Mike Mitchell
No, I don't think Cubans sound like Elvis, to be clear.
Tiger Weger
I think I'd immediately be like, oh, hey, better to get Elvis.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. But then I was like, oh, okay. And then I just, like, kept talking like that. How long until you think that I, like, lost my mind?
Tiger Weger
I think. I just think you were doing a bit the whole time.
Mike Mitchell
The whole time. See, it would never work. It just wouldn't work.
Emma Erdbrink
I feel like at some point when we sat down to start the episode, we might be like, are you gonna do the episode in that voice or what are we doing?
Mike Mitchell
All right, let's go. If you were like, oh, baby.
Tiger Weger
If you were like, oh, what voice? What voice are you talking about?
Mike Mitchell
What voice are you talking about? Oh, Sula. What voice does it mean, Idaho to Spoon Nation? There's no. How long would you think, like, this is weird.
Tiger Weger
I. I probably just would do Colonel Tom bits. That's what I would go into.
Mike Mitchell
And I'd be like, oh, that's pretty good. Like, what you just. I mean, like, I think I. I wonder how many days it would take you to be like, Mitch is being weird.
Tiger Weger
Ah, he can't. He can't host the Doughboys podcast. Oh, he's white.
Mike Mitchell
I guess. Same question to me. For you. If you were talking like, turtle calm. Turtle calm.
Tiger Weger
Oh, boy.
Mike Mitchell
Colonel Tom Parker.
Tiger Weger
Colonel Tom Parker.
Mike Mitchell
If you came in, you're talking like Colonel Tom Parker. How long it would take me to think you lost your mind if you were just doing that?
Tiger Weger
I think for me it'd be sooner because that's not the kind of thing I would do. I wouldn't come in and be doing, like a. I'm also not the type
Mike Mitchell
of guy talking in Elvis voice for
Tiger Weger
a full episode, but you're more likely to do that than I am. Yeah, it's true, Especially in this context.
Tom Walker
This is a conversation that me and Demi have had where we're like, what would it take for us to realize that we have a fatal gas leak in our house?
Mike Mitchell
Yes.
Tom Walker
You know, and the answer is we wouldn't notice.
Mike Mitchell
That's what I'm. That's what I'm saying. I'm wondering how long. If I did an Elvis voice for a full episode, do you think by the second episode, when I came in here and started talking like that, would you be like, okay, something weird is happening?
Tiger Weger
If you did a second episode. Yeah. And then, yes, it would be a little bit off.
Mike Mitchell
Like, the next time I saw you, I was like, hey, there, wise. Then you'd be like, okay, something weird is here.
Tiger Weger
Even the same day. If you continued into a second episode, I'd be kind of like, are we. You're really doing this?
Mike Mitchell
And I'd be like, what are you talking about? And then you'd be.
Tiger Weger
Then I'd be like, oh, yeah, what's going on here?
Mike Mitchell
This is good. This is just good for me to know.
Emma Erdbrink
Okay.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
But now you've teed all this up, so now if you do that, I know that. That what your plan is.
Mike Mitchell
I'm. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to come in and do it. I'm just. This was just a thought experiment. I was wondering what would take for you to be like, you're being weird.
Tiger Weger
I mean, you're always being weird.
Emma Erdbrink
I bet. I bet. Amelia, I would say something first.
Mike Mitchell
Okay, that's fair.
Emma Erdbrink
Be like, are you okay? Did you just, like, watch an Elvis movie? What's going on?
Mike Mitchell
And if I just ignored it, how I was wondering how long it would, like, take you to. It's a crazy. We were just saying it was a crazy plot anyways. But I'm saying how long it would take you to think that I've actually lost my mind?
Tiger Weger
I mean, like, we've. I think we've settled it. I think you could do it if you did. If you. Context of an episode.
Emma Erdbrink
I think we already think you lost your.
Tiger Weger
If you did in the context of an episode, I think you were doing a bit. If you were just doing it in your real, real life and I saw you more than once and you were still doing it, I'd be like, what's going on? With Mitch.
Mike Mitchell
Yes.
Tiger Weger
And he'd probably text tus or something and being be like what the going on?
Mike Mitchell
Just talking like Elvis.
Tiger Weger
And then he wouldn't be able to reply because he's of course kidnapped by the Dodi act.
Mike Mitchell
Yes, yes, yes. Including today. He wasn't. He didn't come to Outback.
Tiger Weger
He definitely did not come to Outback Steakhouse. I until we have an Australian. Yes. I do want to ask before you Outback Steakhouse about your version.
Mike Mitchell
Was that not a fun thought experiment? I thought it was kind of fun.
Tiger Weger
Fun. It was fun and also confusing.
Mike Mitchell
It was confusing.
Tiger Weger
I think a little bit in terms of what your motivation was for. For doing this.
Mike Mitchell
Like to just think about. I just think it's an interesting thing to think about.
Tiger Weger
Okay, do what time do you agree?
Tom Walker
I was having fun.
Mike Mitchell
I was having fun too.
Tom Walker
Yeah, I was having a ball.
Mike Mitchell
See, I already thought even you just doing that once. I think that you've gone crazy.
Tiger Weger
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Mike Mitchell
Wow.
Tiger Weger
This episode is brought to you by booking.com booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the US you can find exactly what you're booking for. We all have different travel needs. What's right for a young family might not be right for a Gen Z friend group. Don't I know it. There's something for everyone, even those who are impossible to please. Perhaps your co host you travel with for podcast touring. Maybe it's someone who can never be happy. Or maybe that's me. Maybe I should look in the mirror. Either way, we're both struggling. But whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, your sleep light rise early mom, or your high maintenance group chat, you can find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com makes it easy to find a stay that's not just generically right or right for someone else, but ridiculously right for you and anyone you're booking for. Here's the thing. Our travel needs are particular. Talking about doughboys media because we travel with a team. We travel with guests who all have different needs. We're going to different cities. We want something predictable. But we also want a home base. We want a big kitchen. We want a separate room for people to watch TV while other people go to sleep. Because people are on different schedules, we want to make sure there's plenty of bathrooms. You know why? And having all that stuff, lots of bathrooms, nice TV for evening movies, and a good kitchen for snacking is something you can find on booking.com and if we can find our perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com booking yeah, book today on the site or on the app. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. For some, summer is their favorite season. Travel picks up, kids are out of school and adventure becomes the main focus. For others, juggling it can be difficult and may lead to overwhelm and counting down the minutes until the kids are back in school. Many also wonder whether they're wasting the sunny days perhaps tend to those kids who are out of school. I mean, it seems to be a big thing that's occupying you. Kids are out of school, they're going back to school. Both are points of stress. You know, my summer plans are to thrive and survive mostly just to be alive. I just want to get out there. I want to, you know, go to the pool, you know, maybe take my shirt off because I'm wearing some swim trunks. I'm gonna get in the pool and we get my shirt wet. So I don't know, I might get crazy, take my shirt off while I get my swim trunks on. That's not that crazy. Everyone does it. That's too crazy. I probably won't do it, but I am going to take care of myself during summer by continuing my therapy and also continuing to go to the gym. Both those things are essential mental and physical health, which are so intertwined. Therapy can help people better understand their needs, feel more confident setting boundaries, and create a version of summer that actually feels good. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. plus, BetterHelp handles initial matching so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire identifies your needs, and with 12 plus years of experience and a top match rate, they usually get it right the first time. And hey, if you're unhappy, you can switch therapists at any time from their tailored recommendations. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. Those are big numbers, and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com doughboys that's betterhelp. H-E L P.com doughboys. So Outback Steakhouse obviously has nothing really to do with Australia. It was a. It was a calculated gambit by three Americans who'd never actually been there.
Emma Erdbrink
Also.
Tiger Weger
But there's another Australian chain I want to ask about, which is. Which does have American origins. Burger King, which in Australia is named Hungry Jack.
Mike Mitchell
Yes, Jacks.
Tom Walker
Hungry Jacks.
Mike Mitchell
Are you.
Emma Erdbrink
Do you ever.
Tiger Weger
You ever. Are you a patron of a Hungry Jacks?
Tom Walker
It's literally one of the things that we make a devoted stop for when we have our American friends visit.
Mike Mitchell
Wow.
Tom Walker
So we went there with like, well, you know, with Pat Gill when he came to visit with. We took Libby and. And Stefan of the Golf Kings block party. Yeah. A friend to all. Worked on your wonderful show.
Mike Mitchell
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Tom Walker
And yeah, we took all those guys to Hungry Jacks for, I got to be honest, spurious logic. But because we were like, yeah, it's better for some reason, but it is.
Tiger Weger
I believe you.
Mike Mitchell
I believe you.
Tom Walker
Hungry Jacks is yummy.
Mike Mitchell
We like the Whopper there.
Tom Walker
They do.
Mike Mitchell
We like Burger King. We say BK is back.
Tiger Weger
I got the Hungry Jack's menu up here right now. They have A bistro whopper which seems to be a Whopper with a 100% flame grilled Aussie beef topped with melted Swiss cheese, grilled onions, peppercorn sauce, tomato lettuce and mayo on a toasted sesame bun. That looks absolutely toothsome. I'd eat that bad boy. This is what the show is.
Tom Walker
I know, but it's just so funny for a guy to turn around a picture of a hamburger and I eat that. It's like you just Google image searched big hamburger.
Mike Mitchell
Meanwhile me talking about if you're talking in an accent for days is crazy talk.
Tiger Weger
Angry Brey Wap Bry wrap. It's a little bit of mouthful. Angry Brey rap mornings fast and furious. Try the new angry Brey wrap stacked with our flame grilled sausage patties. Sizzling premium bacon, freshly cracked a egg, a golden crash hash brown, angry onions which I imagine are spicy. And a delicious spicy tomato relish all in tortilla. That looks pretty good.
Mike Mitchell
Can I ask you something?
Tom Walker
Pretty good.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Hey, can I ask you something?
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Are you okay?
Tiger Weger
We're just looking. I'm just looking at the Hungry Jack's menu to see what. What the commonalities are between the American menu. Their ltos are seem interesting.
Mike Mitchell
The biggest win. The biggest win for me would be being like something's wrong with wigs and having you taken out of here in a straight jacket.
Tiger Weger
Mitch, let me. You should take a look at this. Look at how many fucking burgers they got here.
Tom Walker
We do have a lot of burgers.
Tiger Weger
Look how many of those. Just keep scrolling. 1. They got a lot of options.
Mike Mitchell
That's more than our Burger King twigs. Yeah, they are quite toothsome. Hamburger double cheeseburger, triple cheeseburger. Just a lot of burger. Yeah, a lot of burger. Did you use a NORD VPN to get on here?
Tiger Weger
I. I sure did.
Mike Mitchell
Wow.
Tiger Weger
Promo code dough for something.
Emma Erdbrink
Promo code doughboys for an extra two months on the four months on the two year plan.
Tom Walker
Yeah, you can keep looking at that. You can get access to the. The ABC app. App where you can watch a. A variety of great programming.
Tiger Weger
Really fun.
Mike Mitchell
Now here's. Hey, we could watch the. The. The great Australian Bake Off. Correct or no, no, not on that.
Tom Walker
But you can watch Guymon spelling bee. That's a fun show.
Mike Mitchell
Okay. All right. Here we go. Yeah, here's something that didn't jump out to you when he looked at this. And now I do want to check if you're. You've lost your mind. There's a baconator at Hungry Jack that's
Tiger Weger
what I was going to say.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, you were?
Tiger Weger
There's a Baconator.
Mike Mitchell
There is a Baconator.
Tiger Weger
It's a Wendy's brand. Here. Wendy's has a. Has a Baconator burger, but it looks like the Baconator is a Hungry Jack's label.
Mike Mitchell
I don't know. I don't know if you meant to do this, but WAG somehow got those airdrop photos.
Tom Walker
I think they were already there.
Mike Mitchell
The ocean's he ocean. Eleven to the fucking.
Emma Erdbrink
Is Wendy's in Australia?
Tiger Weger
Great question.
Tom Walker
We don't have a Wendy's. Really?
Mike Mitchell
That's why it's going down the drain. It's going down. Wendy's is going down the drain here in the States.
Tom Walker
I'm sorry to hear that.
Mike Mitchell
It's very sad.
Tiger Weger
No, he says you call your chicken sandwiches a chicken burger.
Tom Walker
Yeah, that's fun. Hey, straight up, that's why you guys gave me Paris syndrome. Paris. I'm a longtime listener of this podcast. I heard you talk about the Wendy's chicken, the Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich for so long, I had no idea what it was because we would call it a chicken burger. I finally went to a Wendy's in like 2019. I walked across like a parking lot for what felt like 40 minutes. Got in there, ordered it. It was a burger. And I was just like, why'd I do this? It sucked.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
How dare you.
Mike Mitchell
We're sorry.
Tom Walker
It was a really.
Mike Mitchell
No, no, no. We should apologize for this.
Tom Walker
It was a beautiful moment of realizing, like, oh, yeah, it was just a burger this whole time.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, no, that's. I mean, that there is a lot of that, but, you know, you see a lot of that on Reddit and stuff too. Like, I read. I read about a guy I. After we had. After I had the new Whopper, I. I searched Whopper on Reddit and I. And I read about a guy who drove an hour to get the new Whopper. And I. And I was like, oh, I don't know if I would do that. Yeah, no, but look, we're as. We're bored creatures. Wigs. This is what happens.
Tiger Weger
I will say this is interesting. That seems like the dirty soda trend has made its way across the. The Pacific.
Tom Walker
It has.
Tiger Weger
It is a. You dive in, they have a blue lagoon with creamer. Of course, the. The LDS Church here, when they allowed for. For drinking soda, that opened the wind the way, you know, I. My understanding is that, that the people who are of Mormon faith, because they can't have coffee drinks, wanted a version of that. And that Leads to dirty soda, which leads to all these mix ins, like, you know, syrups and. And sugars and. And cream and. And sodas. Very, very strange to me.
Mike Mitchell
They named one after your favorite movie. It sounds like.
Tiger Weger
Sounds like Blue Lagoon, the movie with a 13 year old, skimpily dressed. Brook Shields is not my favorite movie. But I understand what you're trying to say there is that I am a pedophile. It's not true.
Mike Mitchell
You know what? That was a good breakdown of it all. You caught me red handed. You really gave a breakdown of it. That's what I was trying to say. You're right. But I have news for you.
Tiger Weger
Yes?
Mike Mitchell
Our guest tomorrow does not like soda.
Tiger Weger
You don't like soda?
Tom Walker
I'm not a soda fan.
Mike Mitchell
What do you.
Tiger Weger
What do you drink instead? So you notice you got a Lacroix there. So you're not averse to fizz?
Tom Walker
No, certainly not a carbonated water is.
Mike Mitchell
I open it at you T like.
Tom Walker
Tastes like the horrid screams of the devil himself. No. Yeah, like, I'm not a fan of soda. I'm not a fan of cola. Keep the black liquid away. No, don't enjoy it at me.
Mike Mitchell
Very good.
Tom Walker
No, it's not very good at all.
Mike Mitchell
I like the bubbles and I like the syrup.
Tiger Weger
God, you're also a soda skeptic.
Amelia Marino
Yeah, I'm not a big fan.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Let me guess. Lemon cello or some instead.
Amelia Marino
I mean, it is good. I don't really like.
Mike Mitchell
You're saying a limoncello is good?
Amelia Marino
It's good. Like if I'm gonna indulge in a sweet drink, it would be something like that.
Mike Mitchell
What about an Italian soda? Do you like Italian sodas?
Amelia Marino
I. Yeah, you do?
Mike Mitchell
I think you don't like soda, but you do like Italian sodas.
Amelia Marino
Yeah, but I. I would rather a pure Lacroix. Just like a flavorless sparkling water.
Tiger Weger
It's too sugary for you.
Amelia Marino
Yeah, I'm very sensitive to sweet things. And the only sweets I really like are like chocolate and ice cream.
Tiger Weger
So soda you say noda.
Amelia Marino
Yes.
Mike Mitchell
Cola you say soda you say.
Tiger Weger
No to cola, you say nola.
Amelia Marino
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Pop, you say Stop.
Mike Mitchell
Wait, what?
Amelia Marino
Wow.
Mike Mitchell
Hold on a second. You said yes to colas, you say nola.
Amelia Marino
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
That's good. Like New Orleans.
Tom Walker
He was on a run.
Mike Mitchell
All right, he was on a run.
Amelia Marino
Fair enough.
Tom Walker
That was incredible. Cola is not enchanted fizz.
Tiger Weger
Might as well be jizz.
Amelia Marino
Whoa.
Mike Mitchell
What? If you love jizz?
Tiger Weger
If you love jizz, that's fine. Then it's a bad.
Mike Mitchell
It should be like an I before E sort of thing. Except, you know what I'm saying? Like, like except if you're me, one
Tiger Weger
of those self suck guys who hate sodas. Like hey,
Mike Mitchell
whoa, his boat tips over.
Tiger Weger
Why?
Mike Mitchell
Exactly. So you don't like soda, but now that the dirty soda's over there is. Are you, are you more akin to try? More akin.
Emma Erdbrink
Whatever.
Mike Mitchell
Are you more likely to try?
Tom Walker
No, I just, I'm a water fan, man. I gotta have.
Tiger Weger
Water's pretty good.
Tom Walker
Yeah, it's good.
Tiger Weger
You big water bottle guy.
Tom Walker
Oh, I love big water bottle. Yeah, that's great.
Tiger Weger
Do you travel with it?
Tom Walker
I'm actually in the market for a water bottle because I tragically lost my most recent water bottle. It finally happened to me. It can happen to anyone.
Tiger Weger
Yeah. I tell you, I've had a lot of success with the Yeti. Not, not a, not a product that we endorse here on the Doughboys podcast.
Tom Walker
Not a sponsor.
Tiger Weger
Not a sponsor. But this is just pure brand enthusiasts enthusiasm.
Tom Walker
Yeah, I like water bottle very much.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, water bottle.
Tom Walker
I like water bottle. I like very much. Yes.
Tiger Weger
So Mitch is a water skeptic.
Mike Mitchell
You sound, you do sound insane. You sounds like you lost your mind. I do like water bottle.
Tom Walker
Water bottle. I like water bottle.
Tiger Weger
I like what's hard to understand.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, I get it, baby. I, I, I like water, but I like a little taste. Give me a little taste of something. All right, you know, I know. I get it. Gaia, she's delivered us this Beautiful treat of H2O. I get it, but come on, put some flavor in there, lady. Give me some, Give me, give me, give me a little something. You know what I mean? Yeah, something in there.
Tiger Weger
But you can put a little squeeze of lemon or lime in there.
Tom Walker
Is it okay when Mitch pets, pets the dog for emphasis or is that like generally frowned upon? She loves a but she's really sweet.
Mike Mitchell
She's a great dog.
Tom Walker
Good dog.
Mike Mitchell
I'm going to say this, okay. I Susser was let out of the Dodiac. He came in chains. But he did come today to, to Outback State.
Tiger Weger
He does get leave.
Mike Mitchell
He does get leave.
Tiger Weger
He takes advantage of it.
Mike Mitchell
He showed up a little after I showed up
Tiger Weger
and well before I showed
Mike Mitchell
up and then, and well before you, you showed up. And I just want you to know why. Because I said you want me to put in an order for you. This came directly from Sus. Yes, because Susser also had a hard out.
Tiger Weger
Well, he had to get back to the Dodiac.
Mike Mitchell
He had to get back to the doc.
Tiger Weger
He Misses his curfew. He's going to lose his privilege.
Mike Mitchell
Yes. Yeah, he had a. He had to be back with the Dodiac at 5:45.
Tiger Weger
Right.
Mike Mitchell
And I was just like, why the fuck did you come to this? If you're going to fucking run, what the fuck are you doing?
Tiger Weger
Because he wanted a free meal. He wanted to speed eat three quarters of a steak and then run out.
Mike Mitchell
It was crazy. He fucking sped, ate that fucking steak.
Tom Walker
It was like the only thing he's been training to do in isolation is speed eating.
Mike Mitchell
Me came, said, we need to put in the order. You were at work. I was like, like, you're gonna get mad at me for, like, being like, hey, can we put in the order? You didn't care.
Emma Erdbrink
I didn't care.
Tiger Weger
No. I sent my order over and it was great because it timed out because
Mike Mitchell
I did time out perfectly. But he just wanted his fucking free steak.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Bought the most expensive steak on the menu. As did I, but about the most expensive steak on the menu. Ate it in less than five minutes. I mean, like, maybe less than three minutes.
Tom Walker
Truly, we all looked away from him because we were talking to Nick, who just arrived. And then when we looked back, it was only when he said, all right, well. And you looked back and everything was. It was just plain.
Mike Mitchell
Everything was gone crazy.
Tiger Weger
Well, the broccoli was there.
Mike Mitchell
The broccoli was there. And I think I know why. Because he. He ordered the broccoli with cheese, I believe. And I think it just came as broccoli. So maybe that is why broccoli was still there. Maybe the cheese was there and I just didn't.
Tom Walker
Maybe he just sucked it off. Like it all came off in one sheet. Like when a magician, like, whips a tablecloth off a table, he just grabbed
Mike Mitchell
it, a sheet of cheese, and it's just broccoli. There's. It was. It was. It was. I don't want to call it impressive because it kind of pissed me off, but it was impressive. Yeah. And then he was gone wise very, very quick into this meal. He's back with the Dodiac now. But also, while you weren't there. I'm gonna say this too, Tom. I thought you were the one who requested to go to Outback Steakhouse. And Nick was like, we gotta go. It's gonna be a pain in the ass. Wigs. You're the one who actually asked him to go to Outback Steakhouse.
Tiger Weger
I pitched it because you didn't.
Mike Mitchell
You were like.
Tiger Weger
You were like, let me think on it a little bit. And I was like. Like, you know, I mean, I'll. I'll ask, is it racist if we go to Outback Steakhouse?
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
And you were like. You were like, oh, I'd totally go to that.
Mike Mitchell
But I thought you learned your lesson on your last podcast.
Tiger Weger
We found out.
Tom Walker
We found out.
Tiger Weger
That is good. We found out you went to Outback Steakhouse two days earlier.
Tom Walker
Yeah. I didn't know that you guys were
Tiger Weger
taking me, but you didn't tell me this.
Tom Walker
No, because I got. I was.
Emma Erdbrink
I.
Tom Walker
So Libby Watson, who was at the meal with us today, a mutual friend, past Doughboy's guest, pasta future. She and I were at Outback Steakhouse because I was like, oh, let's all go with Lewis. And, yeah, when we were at that meal, I got the message saying, like, so are you good to go to outback steakhouse at 4pm so in three days, I've eaten at Outback Steakhouse twice also.
Mike Mitchell
And you're here for three days, and there's great food here. And you did go to Quarter Sheets, which was great.
Tom Walker
It was lovely. Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Okay.
Mike Mitchell
Sorry.
Tom Walker
But it was also. And I haven't told you guys this. I did. I was really embarrassed at the idea of going to Outback Steakhouse as an Australian, so I did an American accent. The first visit. The first visit the guy pulled up at the table, I was like, yeah, actually, I was thinking of appetizers. And.
Mike Mitchell
Is this true?
Tom Walker
Yeah, like, we ordered, like, a round of drinks for the table. And he was like, all right, so I'm just gonna get some IDs. And I was like, all right, I got a driver's license or passport. And he was like, oh, let's go. Passport. I fill out my Australian driver's license and my Australian passport, and I feel humiliated.
Mike Mitchell
That's good.
Tom Walker
Pass him over. He does not make a scene of it. We get up to the point where we order a second round of drinks, and I finally, as he's like, would you like another beer? Like, actually, yeah, that would actually. I got to admit, man, I'm Australian. I'm sorry. I'm just doing a voice because I didn't. I was embarrassed to be here. And he was like, oh.
Mike Mitchell
And now he. Now, I bet you that guy's, like, not sure if now you're. This is the whole voice. Literally, this is life as a Harold. This is the voice thing, is the voice. This guy now is not sure if you're fucking crazy or if you're fucking with him or what the deal is.
Tom Walker
And then when we went Today the lady was like. I don't actually know. Is your voice, like, Australian or.
Mike Mitchell
She thought you were fucking around for doing a fake Australian accent. You were just only speaking Australian the entire time. She thought I was only speaking Australian?
Tom Walker
Yeah. Okay.
Mike Mitchell
You're only speaking with your normal accent the entire time.
Tiger Weger
It's the only place where. Or it's a place where people or Americans would do that sort of thing.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Like, they would go into an obnoxious sort of Australian accent for the fun of it.
Tom Walker
You think I have an obnoxious?
Tiger Weger
I don't think your accent is obnoxious. I think an American doing a cartoonish impression of it, much like I sound cartoonish. I don't think you're. I don't think you sound cartoonish. I am just comparing an American doing.
Mike Mitchell
I don't think it's cartoonish. I would never marry one of your kind, but fair enough.
Tom Walker
Yeah, Well, I kind of like a mud person.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, it's like an American.
Mike Mitchell
I do imagine.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Emma Erdbrink
No.
Tom Walker
Oh, the whole time. It's crazy.
Mike Mitchell
I'm joking.
Amelia Marino
You sound like a Harry Potter character.
Mike Mitchell
I. I like Australian accents. I think they're funny and cool.
Tom Walker
It is funny and cool, but it is, like, it's.
Mike Mitchell
It can be very cool sometimes.
Tom Walker
It's. Well, I don't know, man. It's weird getting, like, a health advice from a doctor or.
Mike Mitchell
That's okay. I can, like.
Tom Walker
And I say that as someone who just, like, watches a lot of tv, so you get kind of inured to American accents, and then, like, you're watching the pit, you know, Dr. Robbie just sounds so wise and everything. And I go to my doctor, and she's just like, yeah, I know. Have you tried antidepressants?
Tiger Weger
Mitchell, we're back at Outback Steakhouse. Our fourth ever episode of Doughboys was at Outback Steakhouse. Making it. John Gabriel making his first appearance on the podcast John Gabris. Look at that little. Little trip down memory line. Look at that. All that picture.
Amelia Marino
Sure.
Emma Erdbrink
Hell, yeah. Babies.
Tom Walker
Back in the day.
Tiger Weger
You look the same. You look. You're wearing the exact same wardrobe.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, I look. I thought I looked kind of fat in that photo you got, but.
Tiger Weger
Oh, well, okay. But, like. But. But I mean, like, in terms of like.
Mike Mitchell
But also, I gotten so fat that maybe I've lost weight to just.
Tiger Weger
You don't, like.
Emma Erdbrink
You've aged, though.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, that's nice.
Tiger Weger
It's this. You don't look like you've aged. You have the same beard. You have the same haircut, and you have the same Celtics hat you always wear.
Mike Mitchell
Let me see this bad boy.
Emma Erdbrink
Actually feel like looking at that earlier I was like, it feels like looking at this picture. All three of you, since that picture have like figured out your style, your, your vibe. Because like you're wearing jeans in that picture.
Tiger Weger
Oh, he was wearing long sleeve, A long sleeve shirt and jeans.
Emma Erdbrink
I don't think I've seen you wear jeans in like eight years.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, I don't wear, I don't wear jeans.
Mike Mitchell
I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to be honest with you. If I saw a news bulletin that would be attempt of an assassination of President Trump happened and this was the picture, I would not be surprised at all.
Tom Walker
I would be surprised because I feel like he would be saving it for the left wing candidate.
Mike Mitchell
You look like a, like an attempted assassin guy.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, sure, whatever. People have compared me to my, my passport photo to Jeffrey Dahmer's bugs, but this is very similar.
Mike Mitchell
You look, I've known you for a long time and you look so hokey in this picture. Like you like. And you, you're not like a hokey guy like this.
Tiger Weger
It's a different, it's a different look. I had like the, you know, the, the more of a Conover bouffant. Just kind of my, my hair, I had this wave that I did my hair in.
Mike Mitchell
By the way, I know my boy wouldn't miss.
Tiger Weger
Hell yeah.
Tom Walker
Wow.
Mike Mitchell
If he's out to, if he's out to assassin someone, he's gonna do it right.
Tiger Weger
Parody, fair use. But I used to wear long sleeve shirts and I used to. And I used to wear pants all the time. And that used to just be my, my look. And then a certain point I was like, you know what?
Emma Erdbrink
I.
Tiger Weger
Fun in the sun.
Mike Mitchell
I guess we shouldn't say stuff like this with a foreigner.
Tom Walker
Here I'm thinking about why you're getting confused. Because he's trying to work out how to pull up to Donald Trump when he's standing on the side of the road and ask. Getting him to lean into his car. Hanging around outside the White House with his arm in a cast, conspicuously trying to move a couch. Trying to work out how to get
Mike Mitchell
the President to come help him.
Tiger Weger
Here's an excerpt for my intro from that episode in 2015 team. In the late 1980s, nothing was bigger in America than Australia. The success of the films Crocodile Dundee and Young Einstein, along with music acts like In Excess and Midnight Oil, put the former PE colony at the forefront of American consciousness. In 1988, a group of Florida based restaurateurs saw an opportunity to capitalize on this trend, settling on an Australian theme for their new steakhouse concept. So yeah, they were in Florida, they were going to do a steakhouse anyway. And they were like, let's see. Australia's big. These movies are hits. And you know, like, let's. Let's fucking make an Australian chain. Why the not? Why the hell not? And so it ends up with this like Australian pastiche where they've just got like didgeridoos and kangaroos and boomerangs everywhere.
Tom Walker
The dishes are given completely nonsensical names.
Mike Mitchell
Yes.
Tom Walker
Alice Springs chicken is the three words that have never been put together in Australia. It is literally just like a city, right? The Sydney salad has absolutely no bearing on Sydney. Sydney, it's the Toowoomba. Whatever. Yeah, it's. It's mental. It's crazy.
Mike Mitchell
So as like kind of culturally insensitive as this restaurant was being, or I guess racist or whatever you want to say.
Tom Walker
Oh, to be clear, I don't give a shit because we don't have a culture like, well, go ahead and use white Australia up, dude. What fuel it gives you. It sucks.
Mike Mitchell
I was just going to say that as bad as the restaurant was being, Susser was being worse. When he was there, he asked you, I overheard him ask you, he said, do you think American kids have touched boomerangs less than Australian kids? It was before you got here.
Tiger Weger
Good question.
Emma Erdbrink
And then boomerangs have you touched in your life?
Tom Walker
I.
Mike Mitchell
Here's the thing though. In the 80s, boomerangs did become a thing. This is before you guys were around.
Tiger Weger
There was a craze.
Mike Mitchell
There was a craze. So I did, I like did have a boomerang.
Tiger Weger
Let me tell you, that motherfucker did not work.
Mike Mitchell
No, no, there's hard to. Hard to make it work.
Tom Walker
Hard to work.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's. Is that tick?
Emma Erdbrink
Tig. Is that Tig?
Mike Mitchell
Tig would love Tig. I love Tig.
Tiger Weger
We were at her wedding and Stephanie, I love you.
Mike Mitchell
I love them both. But Susser asked that. And then a saucer also asked if Tom and Libby knew if they knew each other or if Weger just invited Libby because she was British.
Tom Walker
I think he thought that maybe you'd invited her to keep an eye on me as a representative of the ruler of the Commonwealth.
Tiger Weger
Right, right.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, that's. Yes, that, that maybe that's what it was. I don't know. I, I don't, I don't know what your I don't know what your plan was, but your friends.
Tom Walker
Yeah, I, I was staying with Libby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mike Mitchell
I, by the speaking of the Brit accent, that's the smartest one of all. That's where people respect you the most. I mean it just, if you're like, then no, but if there's a lot
Tom Walker
of variance, wide variety of ways to sound British and some of them crazy.
Mike Mitchell
I think British acting. I think people always like, just respect British actors so much. I mean a lot of times these actors are very good.
Tom Walker
Well, yeah, it's the fact that they made it out of there.
Emma Erdbrink
Sure.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
There's so many British actors, man.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, yeah, I know, too many. But, but, but I'm saying like they, I feel like people are like what a performance when they hear a British actor just because they sound very dignified. Absolutely, yes. You don't think so?
Tiger Weger
No, I think so. I mean, I think, I think a posh British accent, like a, like an educated upper class twit sort of British accent. Americans are like, they fawn over that.
Mike Mitchell
Yes.
Tiger Weger
But if we, if we go all the way to, to Lord's a, you know, whatever, cockney rhyming slang sort of accent, then that's the sort of thing where it's, it, you know, it sounds, just sounds like it's their version of a hick. Right.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
If you've got like a Scouse accent, like Patty Pimblet or whatever. I'm not sure what other famous Scousers there are, but like I, I like all this.
Mike Mitchell
I'm, I'm digging what I'm hearing right now.
Tom Walker
Oh, Scouse is a hell of an accent, man. It's a drug.
Tiger Weger
Wow.
Tom Walker
Once you hear it, you can't hear anything else. It's the only music and sound you'll want in your life.
Mike Mitchell
I, I, I, I, I barely even know the Scouser.
Tom Walker
Oh, it's a beautiful person at like that's the kind of you're dealing with. It's so good. Sorry. To any Scouse people listening.
Mike Mitchell
What is what makes a Scouse?
Tom Walker
It's people from Liverpool. Unless it's not. That's in which case I never. Don't worry about it.
Mike Mitchell
Because that's that because that's one of the, that. Which Beetle was that? Was that. Which, which Beetle is they all from us? Oh, they're all from Liverpool.
Tiger Weger
I thought so.
Mike Mitchell
But they don't have the Scouse accent. None of the Beatles, none of the Beatles have Scouse accents. Oh.
Tiger Weger
Made our guests cry.
Tom Walker
I don't know Must be something about Australia. Australia.
Mike Mitchell
We were ranking. We were ranking Beatles the other. Oh, we talked about this.
Tiger Weger
You were ranking Beatles.
Mike Mitchell
No, you. In the. In that text, you said Abbey Road
Tiger Weger
is your least favorite Beatles album. I didn't say it was my least favorite album.
Mike Mitchell
You said you ranked it below sergeant Peppers.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, I like sergeant Peppers more than Abbey Road. I don't. I like Abby Road.
Mike Mitchell
Okay.
Tiger Weger
All right.
Mike Mitchell
Sorry. I just.
Tiger Weger
I. I Least favorite. Where's this coming from?
Mike Mitchell
I. I don't. We were ranking them. I don't know.
Tiger Weger
I was watching wrestling, listening to Abby Road, where. I see. When I start hearing this. This heresy from you.
Emma Erdbrink
You.
Tiger Weger
That's what it was up to at the time, Mitch.
Mike Mitchell
What the.
Tiger Weger
Aw, on the tv, she's so heavy playing for my stereo.
Mike Mitchell
I think that you're not listening to the Beatles. I think this motherfucker's not listening to the Beatles.
Tiger Weger
I'm listening to Beatles mean Mr. Mustard. Well, the Maxwell Silver Hammer. Come on. I know all these.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, you listen to those songs specifically?
Tiger Weger
No, I'm just saying we. I'm just listening. Tracks from. From Abbey Road.
Tom Walker
All right.
Mike Mitchell
I believe. I believe. I'm sorry. Sorry.
Tiger Weger
Here Comes the Sun.
Mike Mitchell
I love Here Comes the Sun. Yeah, well, I think some people think it's dorky. I didn't mean to. I. It seems like you're pissed at me.
Tiger Weger
You just said it's my least favorite.
Mike Mitchell
You said you've ranked it. But you said we were ranking albums. You said I'd actually put Abbey Road below sergeant Pepper. So for me, I thought that meant that was your bottom. Your. Your bottom, your least favorite beat.
Tiger Weger
I don't know. I think when you start going to, like, back to, like, Meet the Beatles, you know, if you start thinking of that era.
Mike Mitchell
Sure, sure. Okay. All right, Fair enough. Fair enough. Of the big ones.
Tiger Weger
I'd put Help lower than Abbey Road.
Mike Mitchell
Okay. All right, great. There we go.
Tiger Weger
Yellow. Yeah, it's lower.
Emma Erdbrink
All right.
Mike Mitchell
All right. That's all right. We cleared it up.
Tiger Weger
This doesn't have to be hostile.
Mike Mitchell
I. I agree with you.
Tiger Weger
I like Rubber Soul. I like Revolver, by the way.
Mike Mitchell
I agree with you. It does not have to be hostile.
Emma Erdbrink
Are we including solo albums? Like, was Wings a part of this conversation?
Mike Mitchell
Or, I mean, George Harrison, something different,
Tiger Weger
but yeah, I think. I think it's fair to t. Enter into the picture.
Mike Mitchell
Do you. Do you like the Beatles?
Tom Walker
Hell, no.
Tiger Weger
Love this.
Tom Walker
Oh, it all sucks. No, I don't know. Know it. I don't know it. I listen to cool, cool stuff.
Tiger Weger
What do you listen To.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. What is you. Is there an Australian band about me? Acdc? Is that the most. Are they New Zealand or are they Australia?
Tom Walker
No, they're Australian.
Mike Mitchell
They are Australian.
Tom Walker
They're kind of. Yeah. I. I don't know. I don't listen to that kind of stuff. I listen the. The chats. I don't know. 6 liter GTR. Whoever does that song.
Tiger Weger
Oh, so these are like cool.
Tom Walker
Amal and the Sniffers. It's a good Australian band.
Mike Mitchell
That sounds like an Australian.
Tom Walker
Alan. The stiffest is good.
Mike Mitchell
Alan and the Sniffers.
Tom Walker
Ammo.
Mike Mitchell
Ammo still pretty good.
Tom Walker
Yeah. They got a song about jerking on your squirter. Like it's. Yeah, it's good stuff.
Tiger Weger
I'm into that.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
You know who's your joy? What is it?
Tiger Weger
The Sniffers.
Mike Mitchell
These two sniffing sniff. Get sniffs of people when they walk in the doors. Yeah.
Tiger Weger
And I'm. I'm jerking on the squirters too.
Tom Walker
Who do you think is.
Mike Mitchell
That only means one thing.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
There's no, like, double meaning to that.
Tiger Weger
No. I know. The last time we reviewed outback was in 2021 during the pandemic. By sheer coincidence, our guest was our guest two weeks ago. Kevin's own Joe Wengart. Wengt came for our Zoom Outback episode. And let me just say this. This is an observation I made going through the Doughboys wiki and shout out to our buddy Vinod, who maintains it. We can see the insidification of everything in microcosm them via our declining fork scores for Outback Steakhouse. So 2015. Wer four, Mitch three and a half. Gabrius four. Good scores.
Tom Walker
Wow.
Tiger Weger
2018.
Mike Mitchell
I was. Wait, I was the holdout or you were the holdout.
Tiger Weger
You kept it out of the golden plate, which may not have existed at that point. It may not be canon yet.
Mike Mitchell
Fourth episode four.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah, I don't think so.
Mike Mitchell
Wow.
Tiger Weger
2018. Weiger, two and a half forks. Mitch, two and a half forks. Our guest, Leanne Bowen, three forks. 2021. Weiger one and a half forks. Mitch, 2 and a half forks. Joe Wengart two. So we're seeing a steady decline. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Interesting. Where has it gone Today? We're post pandemic.
Tiger Weger
We're post pandemic.
Mike Mitchell
Pick up a little bit from post pandemic.
Tiger Weger
We went in person to the Burbank location for an early dinner.
Mike Mitchell
That's right. Hangar 28.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
In this weirdly themed Burbank. It's right near Burbank Airport. The Empire Center. We love Burbank Airport. Everyone here except for Weiger loves Burbank.
Tiger Weger
I like Burbank Airport.
Mike Mitchell
You're never flying out of there because there's no Australian flights from Burbank.
Tom Walker
I. I love airport.
Mike Mitchell
You love Airport.
Amelia Marino
He loves Burbank.
Tiger Weger
I was having a good time there. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
You're. You're a Burbank boy, but you're a West. You're a West side guy. You want to be a Burbank boy, but you're a West side guy.
Tiger Weger
Why would I. What would they have against the Burbank airport? I hate it.
Mike Mitchell
Oh my God. It's another Beatles. Beatles wrestling. Burbank Airport.
Tiger Weger
We all had a great in airport.
Mike Mitchell
You live closer to the LAX airport.
Tiger Weger
I live closer to another airport.
Mike Mitchell
But you're not, you're not looking to go out of there. You're. You would always go out of lax.
Tiger Weger
It's, It's. Well, my work is thankfully right by Burbank now, so it makes sense in some ways. Like I wish I went to. I landed and went straight to the office, you know, from the live show from San Jose. But the, the like, like Burbank is just such a small.
Mike Mitchell
You're going up. You're going up to Burbank Airport. You got Abbey Road Blast and you got AEW playing on your iPhone.
Tiger Weger
You like Burbank Happening?
Mike Mitchell
Jesus Christ Shopping center. I.
Tiger Weger
But I do find the shopping center a little depressing cuz it's just. It's just like what America is, which is these, these gigantic sprawling surface parking lots and then just like dotted with like. And chain restaurants. What do you. What's making you nervous?
Mike Mitchell
Your behavior.
Emma Erdbrink
I think we've spent too much time together.
Tiger Weger
What does he mean my behavior is making you nervous? Nervous? Are you nervous? Are you nervous?
Tom Walker
No, I'm chill.
Tiger Weger
We're having fun.
Tom Walker
I've been all month.
Mike Mitchell
No, people usually are really nervous when you go. Are you nervous when you ask them that question?
Tiger Weger
Where's this coming from?
Emma Erdbrink
What behavior is making you nervous?
Tiger Weger
Yeah, what am I doing?
Mike Mitchell
I don't know.
Emma Erdbrink
It's getting worse.
Tiger Weger
Should we take a breather?
Mike Mitchell
If you'd like to.
Tom Walker
I feel like maybe I'm calm because I'm closer to y girl on the spectrum than I am middle. I think having a great time.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, I think the gate guy set you off. The smelly gate guy.
Tiger Weger
Oh, I was waiting for that guy to try something. I was swung on.
Mike Mitchell
Jesus Christ. If I was walking in and I saw you sucker punch the gate guy as I was walking in, I was
Amelia Marino
close to it all.
Tiger Weger
What the fuck put Yourself in my situation, a stinky man comes up to you.
Emma Erdbrink
Also, to be fair, people walk up to that door completely unprompted sometimes.
Tiger Weger
Sure.
Emma Erdbrink
And they like, hey, hold on a second.
Mike Mitchell
I know I am here.
Tiger Weger
So I'm thinking it's this guy.
Emma Erdbrink
That's what was happening when I saw this happening.
Tiger Weger
And I say, what do you like, can I help you? And he just points at one of the women who work here and says, I want her. I was unnerved. I was like, okay, this guy needs to get the fuck out of here.
Mike Mitchell
I would not immediately give that guy her.
Amelia Marino
Mitch would be like, how much?
Tom Walker
Yeah. You would bargain him up.
Mike Mitchell
You gotta think of a.
Tom Walker
All right, but we gotta have one of you. Yours.
Mike Mitchell
You gotta think of it from his perspective.
Tiger Weger
You're. You're sympathizing with King Kong here.
Mike Mitchell
You think of his perspective. He walks up a. A good smelling guy already. That's kind of an insult to him. This guy doesn't like Abby Road. He doesn't like wrestling. He hates the Burbank Airport. You're giving those vibes off.
Tiger Weger
I'm through with you.
Mike Mitchell
You're through with me.
Tom Walker
Weiker actually gave me a lift from the restaurant to the.
Mike Mitchell
That's true. He's got a new car. My car is stinky.
Tom Walker
And he had a barrel in his mouth. And he was kind of pulling the trigger every time he turned.
Mike Mitchell
Is today you're falling down?
Tiger Weger
No, I was having a good day.
Mike Mitchell
The gay guy was a weirdo.
Tiger Weger
The gate guy was weird. I was thrown off because we were supposed to get out an hour earlier. And then we just kept going. And I scheduled something around me being. Because I had. It was like. It was like 10 minutes from where I work to where the restaurant was.
Mike Mitchell
You're doing great. You're doing great.
Tom Walker
I'm doing.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, I thought I was.
Tom Walker
So I ordered the Sydney salad.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah, please.
Tom Walker
The Sydney salad with. With the crocktail, of course. Which is the limited time offer which came with a guest.
Mike Mitchell
Nervously. Nervously getting us back on subject.
Emma Erdbrink
You're right. You are more of a wack the way you just.
Amelia Marino
Right.
Tom Walker
Yeah,
Mike Mitchell
I like to live in the mud.
Tom Walker
I've taken the Radzauer a few times and let's just say we're in the money.
Mike Mitchell
How was that?
Tom Walker
We're pushing triple digis.
Mike Mitchell
You don't have to Dox's car. But how was that. How was that ride?
Tom Walker
I liked it. It was smooth. And here's how. Also another sign. Spectrum buddies. As I opened the door, I was like, what A satisfying door mechanism. And I heard Waika say over my shoulder, I know, right? Right. Both of us like Chunk.
Tiger Weger
It's a good door.
Tom Walker
Good door.
Mike Mitchell
I, I, I, I believe you. I believe you like it.
Tiger Weger
The crocktail is fed Commit vodka Midori Kiwi mango citrus juices with a shimmer and a crocodile to keep. You got that crocodile?
Tom Walker
I got that crocodile.
Tiger Weger
Wow.
Tom Walker
And.
Mike Mitchell
And it has Outback written on the bottom on its belly, which is cute.
Tom Walker
It's a branded croc, but you had some of it too, Mitch. And I think our. I, I took a sip of it and I was like, I don't know. What just happened happened.
Mike Mitchell
I, I, I agree with you. It was, it was like, what is this? What is. What is happening here? What's happening to me?
Tiger Weger
In what sense? I didn't, I didn't have any of it.
Tom Walker
It wasn't unpleasant, but it was, it was a, it was.
Mike Mitchell
I don't taste this taste almost ever sort of thing.
Tom Walker
It was like a new color. Not again, not in an unpleasant way, but it was just like, I don't know what, just a series of flavors happened, one after the other in such a confusing way that it felt like a binaural beat almost.
Mike Mitchell
Wow.
Tom Walker
It felt like something odd had happened, but again, not in any exemplary or extraordinary way. It was just really hard to categorize it.
Mike Mitchell
I agree 100%. I'm still laughing at. You're saying you're through with me trying
Tiger Weger
to do a podcast here. I got the strawberry Kiwi Rita, which you. That, you got that Mitch, which is the strawberry strawberries. You did take a sip of it just uses.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, you did take a sip of it. You did.
Tiger Weger
What did you think?
Mike Mitchell
I liked it. And Kiwis for New Zealanders.
Tom Walker
That's right.
Mike Mitchell
Not, not far from.
Tiger Weger
How fun is that?
Tom Walker
Our nearby neighbors.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, your nearby neighbors.
Tiger Weger
Canada of Australia.
Tom Walker
Yeah, straight up. The bettors. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, really? Is that, Is that the, Is that how you guys feel about New Zealanders?
Tom Walker
That's not like, I don't think that I'm the median Australian, but I, I enjoy every New Zealander that I've been lucky enough to, to meet.
Mike Mitchell
Is there, Is there any sort of rivalry between the two, you guys, or. No.
Tom Walker
Yeah, there's rugby rivalries. The sports rivalries.
Tiger Weger
You know, Lakers play in the Australian league. Correct. The basketball league.
Tom Walker
I was just thinking of that.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Yeah. And of course, Drew Timmy plays for the Lakers, right? Yes.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, of course.
Tom Walker
Drew.
Tiger Weger
Tim.
Mike Mitchell
Is it, Is it, Is that sort of. It's so it's a. You guys overall are friendly. You love each other.
Tom Walker
Yeah, we're not, like, angry at each other.
Mike Mitchell
Other, which we. It was like us in Canada until I guess that's kind of changed a little bit. Like. Yeah, that's changed.
Tom Walker
Yeah. You guys are kind of in the, you know, the lovers to enemies arc.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, they don't, I think, rightfully don't like us, which is. They shouldn't.
Tiger Weger
I mean. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, we don't like us.
Tom Walker
Can you go ahead and flip that dog's ear?
Mike Mitchell
Back of. I. But she is licking my hand.
Tom Walker
I really like that she's licking your hand, Jimmy.
Tiger Weger
Jimmy's ear is a little bit. There we go.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, there it is.
Tiger Weger
Does it bother her?
Emma Erdbrink
Do we. I don't know. Sometimes she has both of them up and I call it her shower cap because it looks like she has a shower cap like that. And I think it's cute. I also think sometimes she takes a nap and she has one up and I. I wonder if it's her, like, listening for movement. Like, she's like, I'm gonna take a nap, but I'll leave one ear out just in case. Like, I leave the room. And then she's like, I'm up. Let's go. Where are we going?
Tom Walker
It is crazy being a dog and me. Like, I wonder how much of your own ear you're hearing. Earring?
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah, like the flopping.
Tom Walker
Yeah. Flip flap, flip, flap. Flip, flop, flop.
Emma Erdbrink
You can talk. It's a safe space. You can tell us.
Tom Walker
Yeah, go on.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, man. If she talked.
Tom Walker
You guys ever do that thing where you lie down, make eye contact with your dog as a child and say, you can talk to me if you can? I won't tell anyone.
Emma Erdbrink
I do it to her every day.
Tom Walker
Dude, it's so cool. That hits. Wow, she's so dumb.
Mike Mitchell
Are you zooming in on her? She's.
Tiger Weger
She's a. She's a gorgeous pup.
Tom Walker
One day soon, Libby got.
Tiger Weger
Libby got a brew dog, but she did not get a Fosters.
Tom Walker
No.
Tiger Weger
What is the Foster's consumption like in Australia? Is it. Is it commonly drunk in there? Is it just like. This is like a fucking shitty beer? That's.
Tom Walker
Yeah. No, I would drink it. I don't, like, think I've seen it on offer in many pubs. It's just like, it's what Americans think we drink. And so it's over here.
Tiger Weger
We had. I remember we had Australian students visiting my high school, Long Beach Poly High. Homeless scholars and champions. Famous alumni include Snoop Dogg and Cameron Diaz.
Emma Erdbrink
The.
Tiger Weger
The Some Australian kids were visiting and we were. I was talking with one of them and he was like, really into Budweiser. He's like, budweiser is beer. That's what we drink over there. I was like, that's interesting. So like, Budweiser is your fosters. Because it's like, like a, like, not that Americans all drink Fosters, but it's just like there was the novelty of like, oh, foster's okay. Especially that big ass can.
Tom Walker
I think there was a run of like, like pop punk fans in Australia, which is like, I'm sure a very unsettling thing to imagine for you guys. Like an Australian scarf and is really upsetting, but like us being obsessed with like, pbr.
Tiger Weger
Oh, sure. Yeah.
Amelia Marino
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Which is really unsettling. Settling.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. I. I can't even do beer anymore. And that's why I got my. My Kiwi strawberry.
Tiger Weger
You've never read a lime or a beer man?
Mike Mitchell
No, I was a beer man for a very long time. I loved beer.
Tiger Weger
When did you stop being a beer man? Because I feel like most of the time I've known you, you have not been a beer man.
Mike Mitchell
Probably towards the end of my twenties and going like. I transferred over sour beers. Like, oh, I like sour beers. It's around 30 or so.
Tiger Weger
I always, I always think of you and I guess I knew you in your 20s, but I always think of you as being like more of a. A cocktail guy.
Mike Mitchell
I was a Bud.
Emma Erdbrink
I don't know.
Mike Mitchell
I was always drinking Bud Light.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, I guess you would. You would take. You would take down a Bud Light. And the lineup has, of course, Guinness and Bud Light.
Mike Mitchell
Bud Light ends it as part of it. Bud Light. I like, I would always. Yeah, that was always Bud Light or. Yeah, mostly just Bud Light. But I'm now I. Now I'm a cocktail guy or a cider, like, sweeter stuff.
Tiger Weger
But you did get a Bloomin Onion, which is kind of their signature.
Mike Mitchell
You got a bite of it. You kind of came towards the end.
Tiger Weger
It was almost all gone when I. You showed. Showed up. But, you know, I've had the Bloomin Onion a number of times. I think it's fun. I. I'm more of an Aussie cheese fries guy as far as the outback apps go. But I think the Bloomin Onion is a signature of their as and it's the way to. It's the way to go. This is. This is like, indicative of the kind of thing you were saying, Tom.
Mike Mitchell
I ain't commenting on anything. I. If you like the cheese fries.
Tom Walker
You know, I'm just baffled by an Aussie cheese fry.
Tiger Weger
They exist. I. Aussie cheese fries are Aussie cheese fries topped with melted Monterey Jack. You all got that? There's Right. Monterey Jack from Monterey, California. Cheddar and chopped bacon served with house made ranch dressing. That sounds Australian as fuck to me.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
They also have fried mozzarella boomerangs now, which I'd be. I was interested in, but this is like. Like they have the cucumber wings.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Yookaburra is just a bird. Right. Sydney shrooms and Gold coast coconut shrimps. They're just kind of assembling Australian geographic
Tom Walker
series of just random flora and fauna. It's a. It's a series of random things that if anyone was eating it in Australia, I would assume that they are trying to bomb a synagogue. Like it is. It is a series of random patriotism indicators.
Amelia Marino
Right.
Tom Walker
That are completely meaningless. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Susser was really angling to get. To get the kookaburra wings. He was like, now, I don't know if you guys have had the kookaburra wings. I was like, yeah, we have. We've had them a bunch. And he was like, okay. And it was like clear Susser was trying to get wings out of the. Out of that interaction.
Tom Walker
Kookaburras are cool. Do you guys know what a kookaburra is? It's like a kingfisher.
Mike Mitchell
No, but I did not know that. And also you told me, sold some. You dropped some platypus knowledge that made us all sad.
Tom Walker
Platypus venomous.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Yeah. Platypus has a poison on it. The male platypus has a spur on its hind leg that if it gets you, it'll hurt you for a long time.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, we were sad to hear that because we thought they were like. Oh, we thought they were the cool ones.
Tom Walker
They're still cool. They just have a lot of hate in their hearts.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
I think it's cool.
Tiger Weger
A venom spur is like a nice little like, like trick.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
You're not expecting that.
Tom Walker
No.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Boom. There you go. Go.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
It's like how like the, the, you know, the KGB would murder a guy.
Tom Walker
Yeah. Right.
Tiger Weger
Boom. Just kind of got you with a little spur.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Now you got. Now you got some sort of radium poisoning and you're gonna be dead in three days.
Tom Walker
It's like finding out that an antelope has like a poison tipped umbrella.
Amelia Marino
Right.
Tom Walker
That it carries around.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, that's. I mean, it's cool. You were kind of Saying that directly towards me when you were saying that I was getting nervous.
Tiger Weger
Murder you with a venomous spur.
Mike Mitchell
Don't. Don't murder me with a venomous. Do it with your. Do it with your hands, you copy coward.
Tiger Weger
If I can get him around your
Mike Mitchell
throat, I can't help it.
Tom Walker
Muscle memory kicks in.
Tiger Weger
I'm just smiling, stroking you off, sucking myself off.
Mike Mitchell
Would that be almost a percentage sign? I don't know. I was trying to think of what the. That would look like.
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah, it's.
Tiger Weger
What emoji is that? What did you think of the blooming onion?
Mike Mitchell
I gotta say this. If, if, if we're, if this is like a, an indicator of the economy and the, the incidentification of the world. I don't know, recession indicator, whatever it is, you would think that. I thought the blooming onion today was pretty good. I thought, I thought that it was. We've had it before and it's been a little too oily. I thought today's was decent. Some people though were so, so on. I feel like, I feel like. I felt like Susser was saying that the sauce wasn't good, good, but I thought that it was a very decent blooming Blooming onions.
Tiger Weger
It's certainly. I can't judge it because it was, it'd been sitting there for a while, was almost all gone. But my. But the chunks I had were greasy as hell. But are you.
Emma Erdbrink
Had you.
Tiger Weger
Did you. On your previous visit, did you get a blooming onion?
Tom Walker
I did. This is my second blooming onion in three days. And that I think is going to show up in an autopsy, no problem. I think if they saw that in my autopsy, they would just be like, yeah, no, okay. It was. He cost him some himself. Self harm. I think that like the blooming onion, I can't tell if it was good or not. I will say I would have finished that whole thing if you guys weren't there because it was like greasy and shitty and like crunchy and onion. But I don't think it was good. And it was certainly way too greasy. You know, it's one of those items that like, it looks fun enough and then you pull on it and it disintegrates even a little bit. And you're like, maybe it did suck.
Mike Mitchell
Maybe. I mean, because look, I'll just get right into it with wags. I got the down under Delmonico ribeye.
Tiger Weger
Yes.
Mike Mitchell
This 15 ounce bad boy. What do they say about it? Thick marble cut, known for its rich flavor and tenderness. This was one of the more expensive Steaks. And it wasn't the most expensive. It was about 35 bucks. I think there was a 45 on a bone in. I took my first bite of this and I was like, this is just not good meat. It just wasn't.
Tiger Weger
It was, it looked like low quality meat.
Mike Mitchell
It looked like low quality meat. They forgot my garlic butter, which they did bring to the table. I slathered the garlic butter on there and was like doing okay with it. I just was. I, I was, I was bummed out by the by because this is, this is a new cut they have on here. I was like, oh, it seems like this is going to be, this could be like a decent steak. Because look, a $35 steak, you can get an okay piece of meat for 35 bucks. You know what I mean? Like, that's 35 bucks isn't nothing. It's kind of expensive. I know we're in the unification of the world and I know 35 bucks means nothing. And if you get like a good steak at like a non chain restaurant is 85 bucks for like the basic and one that's like pretty decent. I don't know.
Tiger Weger
I think, I think taxonomically when we were trying to classify these restaurants and this was something we may have even hit upon in the Gabriel episode. This, this restaurant basically falls under Dad's birthday. Like it's like, like, like a dad comes here. It's like, oh, this is a special occasion restaurant. You're gonna spend a little bit more than you will at like an IHOP or a Denny's. But. And so you expected a little bit more for your dollar. But I just feel like the quality of it has declined enough. Where.
Mike Mitchell
So who's gonna go and do that?
Tiger Weger
And also this is the other thing of like the, the middle is kind of falling out of all these places. So like, like why not just go to a high end steakhouse or steak. One of the, you know, in some ways going out for a steak is a fool's errand because it's one of the easiest things to make in your home. Home. And, and it's one of the, the most cost savings you can have. Just get yourself a high, a high quality steak at the market and you know, a pan sear that some, you know, a pan roasted to finish it in the oven. You're sitting pretty.
Mike Mitchell
So why settle for an Abbey Road? You can have a White Album.
Tiger Weger
I like Abby Road, but I do like White Album better.
Mike Mitchell
Me too.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, so that's fine. So where we agree? So what's the problem?
Mike Mitchell
There's no problem.
Tiger Weger
Great. You got the fresh Sydney salad with steak, Tom.
Tom Walker
I did.
Tiger Weger
And this one you seem to really enjoy. This is mixed greens, arugula, cucumbers, tomato, bacon, pepitas.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Which are toasted pumpkin seeds, blue cheese crumbles, balsamic glaze, a choice of dressing, topped with steak. You got, like, an Italian dressing. It seemed like.
Tom Walker
Yeah, this felt like it. This felt like it kept the most Outback steakhouse out of the equation. Right. Like, it kept the most hands off of the bowl.
Mike Mitchell
You kind of got a. You kind of got a sal. You just. Yeah, you did get a salad.
Tom Walker
It was just straight up meat plus salad, which is like, oh, okay, I'm getting ingredient food. And that was good. It was good to get stuff that was just like, ingredient food and then a rich sauce. Yeah, I like that because previously I'd had the. On my first trip, I had the, like, 5 ounce sirloin and the Alice Springs chicken and fries. And we were trying to puzzle over what the meat tasted like. Me and Libby, and Libby came up with. She was just able to say, this just tastes like blood.
Mike Mitchell
Yes, it did. It did. My steak did have just a little bit of, like, blood or whatever. Like, it just felt like meat.
Tom Walker
And that's not to say that it was, like, rare. It was just like. No, this just tastes. It doesn't taste like the meat. I can only taste blood.
Tiger Weger
I remember Libby. I mean, Libby has relayed this to me as well, and her formulation was tasted of blood, which sounded worse to me.
Tom Walker
Yes, yes, that's right.
Tiger Weger
And that's just a British way of putting it. But tasted of blood.
Mike Mitchell
It tasted of blood.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Yeah. It was just straight up bad. The meat was bad, but then, like, chopped up into little steak medallions mixed through with, like, some. The crispy salad gave a little bit of relief, you know, it was. It was a meaningful sojourn from the attempts at flavor by the Outback Steakhouse Steakhouse Corporation, which I appreciated.
Tiger Weger
I had the burger, and this is the thing. Let me see exactly what it's called. I think it was called the. The. The. The Outback Burger. Is that what the. It was?
Mike Mitchell
I think it is, yeah.
Tiger Weger
I think it's the Outback Burger.
Mike Mitchell
Pound Outback Burger or something.
Tiger Weger
It was a big boy. Yeah, the half pound Outbacker. I apologize Burger. Half pound burger with pickles, lettuce, onion and tomato with your choice of cheese. Y' all got it with American cheese, which I appreciate this.
Mike Mitchell
Right. We. I ordered it for you.
Tiger Weger
I said with and with their fries, too. And hey, I like the Outback Steakhouse fries. That's the thing I will say. I, I think their fries are good quality for this kind of recipe restaurant. Libby did order a side of fries with their wedge salad. And as you pointed out, Tom, it was a poultry portion of fries.
Tom Walker
You could count the fries.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
And I'm no Rain Man. I could just easily sit there and count up the fries in.
Mike Mitchell
I mean, that would have before counted
Tiger Weger
fries in the podcast, but this felt like who was working the fryer was unkar plot because Libby got about one quarter portion. I should text Libby for a fork score. I'm gonna do that.
Mike Mitchell
That now.
Emma Erdbrink
Okay.
Mike Mitchell
Suser gave two and a half forks.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
And then he went back to the Dodiac doiak.
Tom Walker
Taking his phone, putting it in a yonder bag.
Mike Mitchell
Do you want to give your. Do you want to give your fork score? There was putting it in the bucket.
Tom Walker
Doc raises the bucket up.
Mike Mitchell
He does that instead of texting his family. Emily, I, I. There was a thing wax when I ordered your burger. There was this thing with the waitress that was like, like, where I was like, just so you know, I'm like, not ordering two meals. And then she kind of played into it too and was like, do you want, like, does he want fries? Or like was joking that, like, I was.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
But Susser was kind of annoying because I was like, what does he want? Is what temperatures. He wants burger. So I didn't know. So I just, I knew you. I said medium rare.
Emma Erdbrink
Right?
Tiger Weger
That's a, that's a totally fair.
Mike Mitchell
I didn't know. I know a lot about you. I don't know some things clearly, but I do know a lot about you. I do know. And I said medium rare. And then this is the thing that I questioned afterwards was I'm not going to get into wrestling or, or, or I'm not going to get into any of that stuff. Don't worry. I'm not going. I'm not going there. I am not going to go there. I'm not going to do it.
Tiger Weger
I'm not worried about it.
Mike Mitchell
I said, they said, what cheese do you want? And I didn't know. I was like, does he want a cheddar cheese? That's the only thing I was like, what do you want a cheddar over an American cheese?
Tiger Weger
Here's the thing. All I texted was because I didn't look at the menu closely, all I texted was outback burger. I had made peace with any decision you were going to make on my Behalf. I assumed it came with fries, so I'm glad you got fries. I like. As far as temperature, I did. We did choose fries, thank you very much. And whatever temperature that it came at, I would have been fine with. Medium rare is totally fine with me.
Mike Mitchell
Medium rare.
Tiger Weger
I know I probably ordered medium rare for a steak and medium for burger, but. But medium rare is totally fine. And I thought it was cooked well to temperature. I actually liked my burger. I cut that some bitch in half. I wolfed down one half pretty quickly, Susser style. Yeah, I thought it was pretty fucking good.
Tom Walker
Also. Just one. As long as we're talking about when you ordered the food, Mitch, I do want to make some time for the fact that you, during your order, said, okay, cool. And what I'll get is the. And then you said, your order. And then you said. I mean, he stole my order, so I'm mad at him, pointing at Susser.
Mike Mitchell
This is true.
Tom Walker
You immediately threw through. I said, stole your order, Susser.
Mike Mitchell
Well, to be clear, I did say, I'm gonna get the Delmonico, and then he did get the same thing. But did he steal it? I don't know if he stole it.
Tiger Weger
I don't think this is a thing to hold a grudge over.
Mike Mitchell
I'm not. I don't hold a grudge over it
Tiger Weger
because multiple people can order the same thing at a restaurant.
Mike Mitchell
I agree with that.
Tiger Weger
Okay.
Mike Mitchell
I. I see. I have no issue with that.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
And I think that you can tell from my. The way I'm responding that I'm not mad.
Tiger Weger
I can tell you're not mad. Isn't it interesting how the best way to prove that you're not mad is to say you're not mad?
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
I'm afraid of you today.
Tiger Weger
Why are you afraid of me? I'm a friendly guy. I'm your friend.
Mike Mitchell
I up. I up with the Happy Road. I up.
Tiger Weger
Everything's fine. It was just confused.
Mike Mitchell
I up today. I did great.
Tiger Weger
You're doing great. Don't worry. Hope that stinky gate guy comes back,
Tom Walker
swing on his, slipping him at 20 to say, I want him. Mitch, I'm sorry to keep Amelia. One of us has to go.
Mike Mitchell
I just. I see you choking the guy and be like, mitch, I like Happy Road. Just screaming at this guy, doing Jack
Tom Walker
Reacher moves on him, breaks on, break his legs.
Tiger Weger
You. You were disappointed by the steak.
Mike Mitchell
I was really, really disappointed.
Tiger Weger
Now you got some coconut shrimp on the side. Now, this is a thing we've talked about with Gabris. Another for another episode. Coconut shrimp Kind of. Kind of a Penthouse item.
Mike Mitchell
I think that it was one of
Tiger Weger
the floor is high for Libby said that coconut.
Mike Mitchell
Coconut shrimp was her bite of the night in the last visit.
Tom Walker
That's true.
Mike Mitchell
Two days ago.
Tom Walker
Or in the non canon appearance where of course Libby and Lewis and I went to Outback Steakhouse by ourselves. The coconut shrimp was Libby's bite of the night.
Tiger Weger
What was the timeline exactly? Because I proposed Outback Steakhouse to you. You said you'd do that.
Mike Mitchell
They were at the restaurant.
Tiger Weger
But you were at the restaurant when I did that. Because it was a separate text to confirm a time that came a little bit later.
Tom Walker
Yes, we were at that point at the restaurant and you had texted us like saying okay, cool. Do you want to go at 4pm? Yeah. On Monday at like. Yeah. 8:38pm we had just, just gone to the tail end of the meal.
Tiger Weger
Got it.
Tom Walker
Yep.
Tiger Weger
You could have said we're here now. Actually, can we do something else?
Tom Walker
I thought it'd be really funny to eat Outback that much.
Tiger Weger
I mean, it was funny that you didn't tell me. And then I showed up and you said I just came here. And Libby said the same thing. So I guess you were right.
Tom Walker
And also like, it's nice to it
Mike Mitchell
was to find this gate guy.
Tiger Weger
He replaces Drop King.
Tom Walker
Next episode. You can just rock up and have him wrapped up like a present for
Mike Mitchell
wer like National Lampoon's Christmas vacation.
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just, I don't know, put like a whole bunch of tops over one room like Dexter and have the gay guy in there, let him do whatever
Mike Mitchell
he needs to stinks in there. When you're done, let's just make sure
Tiger Weger
we really hit on the the T there a gate guy. That's what I'm looking. I want to fight a gate guy.
Mike Mitchell
Gate guy. Gate guy. Gate guy. Gate guy.
Tom Walker
Gate guy.
Mike Mitchell
Gate guy.
Tiger Weger
Gate guy.
Tom Walker
Gate guy.
Mike Mitchell
I. I thought the coconut shrimp was also one of my bites of the night.
Tiger Weger
I had one of your shrimps. You treated me to one of those,
Mike Mitchell
which was very kind of friendly to you.
Tiger Weger
I thought it was yumby. You were friendly to me.
Mike Mitchell
I meant to decide. I'm showing the world that I've confused him again.
Tiger Weger
I don't know what's going on.
Mike Mitchell
I'm with you a little bit. I did think Abby Road was your least favorite album of the Beatles. And then you corrected me. But then, yes, of course I was still trying to with you after the point. And then I did get scared that I actually made you mad. And now I can't tell where you're at in the world.
Tiger Weger
I can't tell where you're at Abby
Tom Walker
Road, actually a Beatles album. Or is this like a bit.
Tiger Weger
It is an album. Beatles album.
Tom Walker
All right, good. I'm all called. What up?
Mike Mitchell
A great ending. It has the. It has golden slumbers right R into.
Tiger Weger
I thought Her Majesty was the last one.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, it is. Oh, I got it wrong.
Tiger Weger
Her Majesty's a very nice girl, but she doesn't.
Mike Mitchell
Wait, what's the song before that, then? See, I don't even know.
Tiger Weger
I want to talk.
Mike Mitchell
Happy birthday. Pretty famous, actually. Wait, that is on the White Album, too.
Tom Walker
Oh, it is? I think so. Oh, I was just talking. I was trying to think of the most famous song.
Tiger Weger
I know I'm going to make her mine. Okay. Please, Please me was the. Was the first album with the Beatles. Now, Jack Allison was saying with the Beatles is actually low key slaps. I haven't revisited a while. Hard Days Night. Hard Days not as good. Beetles for sale. Help. I'd put all those from the early era before, like below Abby Road.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's Abbey Road has a Day in the Life.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
No, no, no, that's on. That's in sergeant Pepper.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, it's on sergeant Pepper.
Tiger Weger
That's what they said about sergeant Pepper that Day in the Life.
Mike Mitchell
I'm really up Beatles history. People are gonna get mad at me.
Emma Erdbrink
I don't think you don't even like
Mike Mitchell
to p. I don't. I. You know what if you said that I don't care. I do like them, but I don't care. But. But also I. I do like them, Emma. I do like them.
Tiger Weger
I'd put Yellow Submarine probably below Hard Days Night. Honestly, I'd put. I'd put. I think of the earlier Hard Days Night comes first. Hard Days Night. Help. Then I'd put Yellow Submarine back there. Even though that's from earlier then pro. You know, I. I just. Please, please be in with the Beatles. I have to. I and Beatles for sale. I don't even know what's on be tale.
Mike Mitchell
Been a while since the. So that's from Abby Road.
Tiger Weger
Yes. I. I really like Rubber Soul. That might be my number one.
Mike Mitchell
Okay.
Tiger Weger
And I really like Revolver.
Mike Mitchell
I think I feel like that's a
Tiger Weger
big and white album. I think that that might be my top three.
Mike Mitchell
White Album is my favorite album. And I think that's a nerdy answer, but I don't care.
Tiger Weger
It is a nerdy answer, but that's okay.
Tom Walker
When did you guys get into the Beatles.
Mike Mitchell
When I was younger, I think my mom and dad. I think that's a mom and dad game.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
As a mom.
Tiger Weger
Mom and dad. I think our parents of the right era, where they, like, grew up with the Beatles and so they had all the Beatles records. And so I was like. They were just in heavy circulation when I was a boy, and so I just got used to them.
Mike Mitchell
You did make fun of Beatles 1 and you said, like, that's, like, what the dorks had. And I did have Beatles. This is why I'm getting. Yeah, I know. I like it.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Nothing wrong with a greatest hits album.
Tom Walker
Why wouldn't you like every good song?
Mike Mitchell
I agree. And you said that Elvis has a really good greatest hits.
Tiger Weger
Elvis is great. Like. But Elvis was more of a singles art artist. Elvis had a really good greatest hits album. I agree.
Tom Walker
Elvis Presley.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Okay. Yeah, I'm up to date.
Tiger Weger
Hey, listen, that's what we're talking about right now. My greatest hits album. It's got that remix of A Little Less Conversation, y' all know, from Ocean's Eleven.
Mike Mitchell
I think you're crazy. Also, is it a full moon today or.
Emma Erdbrink
No, it was a few days ago.
Tom Walker
Yeah, that's. That stuff sticks around.
Mike Mitchell
That stuff sticks around. It does. It does.
Tiger Weger
Are like. That's one of the weirdos come out.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, there was. There was a, a, A sober. A DUI checkpoint yesterday.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah. UI and license checkpoint.
Tiger Weger
Wow. A, a, a full moon is what? The inciting incident for the events of the Thriller video.
Mike Mitchell
That's also true.
Tom Walker
Wow.
Mike Mitchell
Michael Jackson turns into. Oh, but then they're watching the movie. But then also, is there a full moon in when he turns into. Why does he turn into a zombie?
Tom Walker
He goes, no, he turns into a werewolf first.
Tiger Weger
And then he turns into a zombie. In the movie.
Tom Walker
Busy guy.
Tiger Weger
Busy guy. He's got a couple different things.
Mike Mitchell
He does.
Amelia Marino
Look.
Mike Mitchell
He does break the fourth wall and look into the camera at the end and Vincent Price laughs.
Tiger Weger
Very good.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
That's a good.
Tom Walker
You guys think he did all that
Tiger Weger
stuff, made some great records. According to the new film Michael. He did.
Tom Walker
Yes, absolutely.
Mike Mitchell
I've only. I. I just saw the first part of Michael, so I don't know really what you're referring to, But yeah, check out Michael. I think it will be in, like, Michael doesn't even.
Tiger Weger
Michael, the movie doesn't even mention there were allegations.
Tom Walker
It just goes like.
Tiger Weger
It doesn't even show him, like, spending. Being weird with.
Mike Mitchell
In fact, it shows him having a good time with children. Throughout the movie.
Tom Walker
I was trying to ask if you guys thought he was the guy in the Simpsons, but.
Tiger Weger
Okay, that's a good question. I think it was an impressionist.
Tom Walker
Okay, cool.
Mike Mitchell
I think it was Michael Jackson.
Tiger Weger
Michael Jackson, Impressionist.
Mike Mitchell
I think it was him.
Tiger Weger
Wow.
Tom Walker
All right.
Tiger Weger
I hope it was him.
Mike Mitchell
Split.
Tiger Weger
I think he really did music for his.
Mike Mitchell
And I think it was him.
Tiger Weger
That's awesome. I did do the music for sonic the Hedgehog 3. I heard he. I think he did do the.
Mike Mitchell
And I also think that that's real too. Yeah.
Tiger Weger
There's a Yuji Naka, the. The Sonic creator. There's a picture he posted of him in a helicopter over Neverland. And it was like. Yeah, because it's on his way to have Michael Jackson do the fucking soundtrack.
Mike Mitchell
Who do you think? Do you. Who do you think? Michael had a favorite Sonic character?
Tiger Weger
I think Pro Knuckles. Knuckles is a good bat. I wouldn't be surprised. I. I wouldn't be surprised if he like Miles Tails Prowler.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, he baby likes Tails.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, he probably.
Mike Mitchell
Tails is kind of like a little. Well, I'm not trying to say. Well, whatever. You What? I.
Tiger Weger
He's the most coded as a child.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, he's. I'm. Yes. He's a grou. In a way.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, he's kind of a gr.
Mike Mitchell
He's a little bit of. He's a little bit.
Tiger Weger
He's older than Grou.
Mike Mitchell
Come on. He is older than Grogu.
Tiger Weger
That was sick.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Amelia Marino
Wait. Michael Jackson would love grou. Because he's 50, but also a little kid.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
He's older than me. It's weird.
Tiger Weger
He's older than me. I thought my burger was pretty good. We got the Thunder from Down under as our dessert.
Mike Mitchell
Yes.
Tiger Weger
Oh, and I. I got the. I got the koala drink. Wait, let me get my. My koala. Yeah, I did. Why wouldn't I. I was nervous.
Mike Mitchell
I thought you left it.
Tiger Weger
Pretty sure I grabbed it.
Tom Walker
They kept emphasizing that we could take the things in our drinks with us. They.
Mike Mitchell
Did you take yours?
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Did you.
Tom Walker
I left it.
Mike Mitchell
You left it?
Tom Walker
I left my crocodile, I think.
Tiger Weger
Look at this little.
Mike Mitchell
Are you sad about that?
Tom Walker
Yeah, I am.
Mike Mitchell
I'm sad for you.
Tiger Weger
I dropped it.
Mike Mitchell
He spilled it. He spilled the thing from the drink.
Tiger Weger
It's gone. It's under Tom's chair.
Tom Walker
Okay.
Mike Mitchell
It's gone. Tom, you left your gator. I am actually kind of.
Tom Walker
I know. I understand. It's the. The koala is a little duckling that has been repurposed to have koala ears.
Tiger Weger
It comes floating in your drink, which is a lot of fun. But yeah, I got. I got like a koala lemonade, which was non alcoholic and it just had. Had. I don't even know what flavors. I couldn't even tell you. It was generally sweet.
Tom Walker
Yeah. This is the thing. They're kind of discombobulating drinks.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Mystifying.
Tiger Weger
Say hi to Wally and Irma.
Mike Mitchell
Wow. Oh, that's cute.
Tiger Weger
He's wishing him good day.
Mike Mitchell
What are you gonna do with that bad boy?
Tiger Weger
What do you mean, what are we gonna do with that bad boy?
Mike Mitchell
Oh, Jesus Christ. I didn't mean like you're gonna shove it up your asshole.
Tiger Weger
That's immediately what I thought.
Emma Erdbrink
That's me too. I was like, butt plug.
Tom Walker
Obviously it's got a little flat base on it, I guess.
Mike Mitchell
All right then. God bless him on his journey.
Tiger Weger
Just doesn't feel very deep.
Emma Erdbrink
We said, I have to go get my koala. And then he went to the bathroom.
Mike Mitchell
What are you gonna. What are you playing? Oh, we can keep it here as
Amelia Marino
a part of the.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, sure. You can be poured. The tableau.
Mike Mitchell
The tableau.
Tiger Weger
What fun is that? Thunder from down under.
Mike Mitchell
I loved it. So basically, Libby said this ice cream is bad.
Tiger Weger
It is bad quality ice cream.
Tom Walker
It's bad quality ice cream. The brownie is bad. However, it is a fundamentally cream ice cream and it's brownie.
Mike Mitchell
Let me read the ingredients. We. We get. We eat like fast food. I like when you get a dessert like this. Sometimes, like the ice cream is like. Like I said, has freezer burn or something. And I was like, the ice cream was tasting okay to me. I know it's not high quality or something.
Emma Erdbrink
This is the thing.
Tiger Weger
The ice cream was at least not freezer burned. Yes, that's damning with faint praise, but it's. It's like Cisco ice cream. It's like the kind of ice cream that comes in the. It's. It's not even like a. Like a. A good brand from the store. It's certainly not like a Haagen Dazs. An extra generous pecan brownie topped with rich vanilla ice cream or warm chocolate sauce. Chocolate safe shavings and whipped creams. That warm chocolate sauce just kind of Peter north over it. And I think the. The whipped cream, I mean, I like the chocolate shavings. I thought that was fun. I did not get much pecan from it. Did you get much pecan?
Mike Mitchell
No, I got one pecan.
Tiger Weger
I think there's very few pecans in it.
Mike Mitchell
I'm okay with That I don't need the nuts in the brownie. When I have a warm. When I have a warm brownie sundae, I just, like. I don't like to have any little pieces in there.
Tiger Weger
I promise. A pecan. I want a goddamn pecan.
Mike Mitchell
All right, take it out on the gate, guy.
Tiger Weger
What did you think of the.
Tom Walker
And we want to kind of want to hit that T.
Tiger Weger
What do you think of that Thunder from Down Under?
Tom Walker
It's fine. Yeah. You know, I think it's just, like, even more than the quality of the ingredients. What matters is just getting something that's, like, room temperature, cold and warm. Yeah, that's the hit.
Tiger Weger
Totally agree with you.
Tom Walker
God, it's good.
Tiger Weger
The contrast in temperatures was an absolute riot.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Who would have known that battle between ice and, you know, the ice and heat battle. The fire and ice battle.
Tiger Weger
That's what I was going to say. James Cameron himself.
Mike Mitchell
Yes, he's right.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, okay.
Mike Mitchell
He's very right.
Tom Walker
I got scared. We talking about assassinating people earlier? I thought you guys tipped them off.
Mike Mitchell
That was my bite of the night.
Tom Walker
Wow.
Mike Mitchell
The chocolate thunder from Down Under.
Tiger Weger
I think I like my burgundy.
Emma Erdbrink
Mmm.
Tiger Weger
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Mike Mitchell
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Tiger Weger
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Mike Mitchell
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Tiger Weger
Mitch, how has your sleep improved since you switched to Helix wigs?
Mike Mitchell
It's like night and night.
Tiger Weger
Day.
Mike Mitchell
It is like night and day. I'm getting better. More restful sleep. I'm feeling good. I got my CPAP mask on. I'm getting. I'm laying down. I'm falling asleep in seconds.
Tiger Weger
It's interesting that you say it's like night and day because sleep usually transitions from night into day.
Mike Mitchell
It's true. Wigs.
Tiger Weger
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Mike Mitchell
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Tiger Weger
Wow. Go to helix sleep.com doughboys for 20% off site wide. That's helixsleep.com doughboys for 20 percent off site wide.
Mike Mitchell
Make sure you enter our show name after Shopify check out so they know we sent you helixsleep.com doughboys and wives. Pretty soon you're going to be going, Hi, I'm Beck Bennett.
Tom Walker
I thought I was Beck Bennett.
Mike Mitchell
No, no, no, no.
Amelia Marino
Kyle Mooney.
Mike Mitchell
Yes.
Emma Erdbrink
Sorry about that.
Mike Mitchell
Exactly.
Amelia Marino
No, all good.
Mike Mitchell
All good.
Emma Erdbrink
Thanks, buddy. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
And we host the show what's our podcast here on Head Gum.
Tiger Weger
This podcast is brought to you by Square Spam.
Tom Walker
Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help help you stand out and make you look like a kick ass person online. Like you're skateboarding through the Internet or
Mike Mitchell
you're like you're surfing through the web.
Tom Walker
Squarespace gives you everything you need to
Tiger Weger
claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and
Tom Walker
get paid all in one place.
Mike Mitchell
I like that it's all in one place.
Tom Walker
I like that I don't have to go around, you know, to like different stores or something. It's just all in my. Well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like a. Do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or to like another type of website to upload? Yeah, no, it's all in one place. The video or the audio, like.
Tiger Weger
No, I want it makes it easy.
Tom Walker
Make it easy on me, please. Yes. And you can do all those things. Photos, videos, changing fonts, you know, I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. They're SEO tools, which I know what those are and their custom domains. Oh, let's come up with a domain right now. Let's see.
Tiger Weger
I wonder if it exists.
Tom Walker
Www.friendsmeeting friends. Friends meeting friends.com that's an original thing that we came up with. Friends meeting friends.
Amelia Marino
Friends.
Tom Walker
Anyway, so check out squarespace.comedgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HEADGUM. Save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it.
Tiger Weger
Let's get to our Fork score. Fork score. So, Tom, here's how this will work. We'll each go around. We'll give this a. A rating from 0 to 5. Forks. And any. Any closing thoughts you want to add? Ad your guest will begin with you. Your thoughts here, Fork score.
Tom Walker
Well, Outback Steakhouse. I'd heard about it for so long due to being in Australia, you get so much American culture. It's very strange to walk around your whole life knowing American street names. But not knowing what they are, what where they are, but like, knowing that Franklin is a street, knowing that Sunset Boulevard is a street of some kind and that there are places that there. Avax Steakhouse kind of occupied the same place in my mind where I knew it was a place and it was vaguely Australia themed. It is very strange to walk in there and see the manner of Australia theming. It is. As someone who is not, like, particularly patriotic in any way, seeing the. The various city names just appended to dishes on a menu with very little sense. And also, I think my favorite piece of Australia theming in the whole place were the bathrooms, which. Which had on the doors the sign, a weathered wooden sign that said blokes. And then right underneath that, a shiny metal sign that said men. And then over to the side, two additional signs that also said men. Just indicating zero faith in your clientele. To translate, the same thing was done for Sheilas. And then women, women, women. Like, just all over the place. No faith given to the client.
Tiger Weger
I mean, just. That's just too many men have stumbled into Sheila's.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Oh, I guess I'll have some Sheila's. Damn. Maybe that's what they call me. Yeah. Yeah, it was. It was pretty bad. I didn't. On my first visit, the meat tasted, as Libby said, of blood. My favorite thing about it was the big, tall glass of beer that I got because it's fun to hold a big mug. That's just a fundamental fact of human life.
Mike Mitchell
That's true.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
I.
Tom Walker
On my second visit, the salad was decent because it took a lot of the Outback Steakhouse prep out of their hands and made it into ingredient food. And it's nice to eat ingredients sometimes. So I think for me, this is gonna have to sit at. Oh, yeah. And I was baffled by my drink. So, I mean, you have to give some credit to the mystery. So with that in mind, I think I'm gonna settle on, uh, two out of five forks.
Tiger Weger
Two forks.
Tom Walker
And the reasoning for that is also because I paid for the meal with me, Libby and Lewis, and it came out to a staggering $160, which is, like, so much more than I paid for the other good meals that we've had in la. You know, I feel like you're paying for the familiarity if you go there. And I don't think you can, in your right mind, recommend that anyone go to Outback Steakhouse. Right. Like, who would go there, apart from someone who needs to not experience anything new in their life?
Tiger Weger
Right. I mean, I. I Was definitely got some sticker shock with the bill. That's a. That's a good observation.
Mike Mitchell
We dropped 300 bills today. Yeah, three or three bills. Sorry, not 300 bills.
Amelia Marino
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
I mean, geez Louise, 3,000 bucks.
Emma Erdbrink
You bought the outback.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. Wait, 300. Wait, three bills is 300. So 300 bills will be. Oh, man. That's not 900. Is that what it would be? No, 3,000 is. Wait, what?
Tiger Weger
Let's go take 300 times 300.
Mike Mitchell
Wait, that's what was in my head. So 300 bills. Three bills with 300. So 300 bills. Okay, 300.
Tom Walker
Add two extra zeros.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Okay.
Tiger Weger
90,000, right?
Amelia Marino
30,000.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Emma Erdbrink
300.
Tom Walker
300 bills is 30,000. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
You know, if you ate. If you ate everything on the. On the. What's it called? The Cheesecake Factory menu, it costs $10,000, so I.
Tiger Weger
Of money.
Tom Walker
Wow.
Mike Mitchell
So if we did that. If we did that, that's next year's much madness, and you and I both did it. It's a $20,000. We'll see what happens.
Tiger Weger
I think we should do breastrans. We'll talk about it. We've never done breasts.
Mike Mitchell
All right, now we're talking Sheila's. I.
Emma Erdbrink
This guy will come back.
Mike Mitchell
I. $300.
Tiger Weger
To.
Mike Mitchell
To be in the presence of Evan Suser as he ate his meal in two minutes was worth it to me.
Tiger Weger
Right?
Mike Mitchell
We got to see him, Sus, or our heart is with you. We love you.
Tiger Weger
Yeah. Stay safe.
Mike Mitchell
Stay safe. I. Look, I. I had a good time because of the people that were there.
Tiger Weger
Had a great time.
Mike Mitchell
I had a great time with you wags.
Tiger Weger
Wow.
Mike Mitchell
I. I did not like my steak. I thought the baked potato was actually just fine. It almost looked like a storefront baked potato. Like, like what you would look at to order a baked potato. That's what it looked like. You know, I'm saying, like. Like when they had, like, the ramen bowls of, like, what it's supposed to look like, and you're like. And it's just as, like, plastic or whatever. That's kind of what the baked potato looked like, and it just tasted fine.
Tom Walker
Was that part of your criticism, that the baked potato looked like a baked potato?
Mike Mitchell
Honestly? Kind of, yes. Because it was just, like. Looked like. It looked like a. Like a play baked potato. And then it tasted not as good as I wanted it to be.
Tom Walker
Right. It looked good, but it didn't match up to the appearance, and it just.
Mike Mitchell
It didn't match up to the appearance, no matter what. But the appearance also Just looked kind of like fake and plasticky.
Tom Walker
I see.
Mike Mitchell
I. My favorite thing was the dessert and the coconut shrimp. Those are my bites of the night wags. I got to go. Two and a quarter forks.
Tiger Weger
Two and a quarter forks. Wow.
Mike Mitchell
So lower than my last. Last, last fork.
Tiger Weger
Score. So our good friend Libby went one and a half forks and said that's taking into account the other meal, which I think she enjoyed less. Her. I think her wedge salad and side of fries she had today, she was a little bit more on board with.
Tom Walker
She liked the wed salad more than the meal that she had. Yes.
Tiger Weger
Suser went two and a half forks as we mentioned. I thought my burger was okay. I thought it was pretty good and I liked their fries. So from that standpoint point, it was a fine chain restaurant burger that, that, like, everything there cost too much money. Everything else was just so. I don't know. I mean, like, even the drink was just like, kind of like this. This vaguely sweet, syrupy, you know, amalgamation that is just like, why would I ever order this? Why would I order this over an iced tea or. Or a regular lemonade? You know, except for I get that little koala buddy, which is fun on. But I don't know. Outback sucks, right? And it used to be better. Yeah, it sucks. Why should we be giving this place any grace? It's just. It's just declined and it's going away. They charged us $3 for playing one of the games on the Zeos.
Mike Mitchell
This is true.
Tiger Weger
There's a game called Tablemate which is like, I don't know, something. Libby was like. Was like, let me show you this. It'll be quite corking. And then she, like, she played this game and then we got a $3 charge of the bill.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, I. We told her. I told her that and it broke her heart. I was like, you guys got charged for playing that game. She felt she was. I felt like she was deficit.
Tom Walker
Importantly. Yeah. The reason she knew that she wanted to show you that game was because I also paid for her to play that game. So she had already played that on my dime without me realizing it. And I did not get the.
Mike Mitchell
That is very good.
Tom Walker
I did not get the apology also. But yeah, she really liked that game.
Tiger Weger
She really liked it. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Anyway, three bucks to play a fucking mobile.
Tiger Weger
What the fuck did you know?
Tom Walker
Kids tell you, oh, by the way, this is going to cost you. It just shows you games.
Emma Erdbrink
Sneaky. But I mean, that's so many kids and parents.
Tiger Weger
That's the thing. And that strikes me as this place is, like, struggling. That's. Yeah, that's a way they can, like, make some cheap bucks. Is that that. Yeah. Some kid will be around with the screen and play this thing that looks like Pokemon Go, but it's actually called Poke Go.
Tom Walker
Yes.
Tiger Weger
And it's. It's a, you know, a complete.
Mike Mitchell
Is that what we were charged for? Was it the Poke Go?
Tiger Weger
I think it was Poke Go.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, we didn't even play it. We just looked at it too.
Tom Walker
Well, no, for the three bucks, you also get access to the full game library. So when I was there, I played like, a little mini golf game that the shitty Android tablet they were using couldn't fully power. So it was at, like, you know, 5fps, but it was still, like, you know, it had sort of physics.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. Oh, my God.
Tiger Weger
This.
Emma Erdbrink
This.
Tiger Weger
This sucked. I'm. I'm. I'm bummed that I was late, but I enjoyed the time I got to spend hanging out with everybody. And I'm.
Emma Erdbrink
I'm love.
Tiger Weger
I'm having a lovely time doing this episode.
Tom Walker
Me too.
Mike Mitchell
Why? Because you've had a long week.
Tiger Weger
I've had a long week, and it's gonna keep going.
Emma Erdbrink
It's Wednesday.
Tiger Weger
It's Wednesday. Gonna keep going.
Mike Mitchell
You've had. But you're over. You're over the hunt. Oh, no. You're recording your other pod tomorrow.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, two of them. They're ultimately champagne problems. I have to think of it this way.
Mike Mitchell
It's true. You just spoil a little too, when you think about it. I'm pushing your buttons.
Tiger Weger
Be careful, woman. Be careful.
Mike Mitchell
I love you. You're doing great. I know you've had a long week. I know you've had a long week.
Tom Walker
Is that the version of a compliment sandwich? It's really good.
Mike Mitchell
He knows that I'm with him.
Tiger Weger
What are we doing here? One fork.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, baby.
Tiger Weger
Outback.
Mike Mitchell
Don't take that out of me. Take it out on the chain rest.
Tiger Weger
That's what I just did.
Mike Mitchell
I love it.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Emma Erdbrink
All right.
Tiger Weger
That was a review of Outback Steak.
Mike Mitchell
Guy.
Tiger Weger
It's time for a segment.
Tom Walker
Guy, Gate guy.
Tiger Weger
I've got some chips and we're going to eat them all. It's chips. Inhale. Reschue Rangers Rap City Chips edition. Hit it, Emma. Rap City Chips. Rap City chips. Rap City chips. Rap Rap City chips. Rap City chips. Rap rap City chips. 10, 10, 10, 10, 20 in your mouth. Chips. 100 bugs on my tongue and salty to hits. Mitchy Mitch, you don't know who you're crunching with, okay? So this is Rap City Chips.
Mike Mitchell
I think that there was.
Tiger Weger
Can we do it again? I thought it was pretty good, Pretty perfect.
Amelia Marino
I know it was fun.
Tom Walker
You just wanted to do it again because it was a vibe.
Mike Mitchell
You also, by the way, I, I, we'll get into him for in a second here, but one of the most fun things is hearing you guys describe this song to Wig.
Amelia Marino
Yeah, the original by Tyga, but we said it's by Tyger.
Tiger Weger
I listened to the Tyga song a
Mike Mitchell
couple of times, but it was very fun hearing them.
Emma Erdbrink
I have a great image of Wagyu driving home last night at like 11pm just listening to Rap
Tom Walker
him in the car, switching between that and the White album, just blazing out of his mind, banging the whole time, swerving to the
Mike Mitchell
rhythm, throwing everyone out the window.
Tom Walker
Yeah, yeah, I'm done with this. White album can stay.
Tiger Weger
These are, these are Rap City Chips. W R A P City Chips. These were courtesy of a fan who
Emma Erdbrink
gave this to us. This was. We can probably look up the name. I don't remember the name, but these are from New Hampshire.
Tiger Weger
Yes, these are, these are New Hampshire. Emma's home state of New Hampshire. We have a sea salt and we have a white cheddar jalapeno, which I'm betting I'll enjoy because I'm a bit of a heat seeker. It says love at first crunch on these. I like that. Yeah, I, I honestly, I like that a lot. Let me go ahead and open this first one up and we will circulate. This is sea salt. I'll send this over to you, Spoon man.
Amelia Marino
I believe these are from Brantley P.
Tiger Weger
Thank you, Brantley P. Brantley P. This does seem to. To a scissors.
Mike Mitchell
Amelia, I want to. You dropped the chips. It's okay. It's okay. Wise. You are doing well. You've had, you have, you have a. This is hell. This is hell week for you.
Tom Walker
That's just a week, Mitch. Do you want me to pass me the scissors?
Tiger Weger
Next.
Tom Walker
And why, Gray, are you comfortable with him holding an edge weapon?
Mike Mitchell
There you go.
Tom Walker
Let me go ahead and grab this bad boy.
Emma Erdbrink
Thank you, Tom.
Mike Mitchell
Also, you're the thing that does also confuse me. You're going. Because he says mustard on the beat, yo.
Amelia Marino
On the beat? Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Does he say mustard on the beat, yo? He does that.
Amelia Marino
He's like, yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Or maybe I'm just thinking of the other song where he sings yo.
Emma Erdbrink
I think it depends on the song.
Tiger Weger
I think I was a little confused because the lyrics you sent over, which were well constructed, but they, I Think they had the Rap City Chips thing twice. Only twice before the mustard or. No, it had the.
Amelia Marino
They should have practiced it.
Tiger Weger
I think we should have practiced it, but I think came out great. No, it's great.
Tom Walker
Yeah. You know, like Jay Z and Jay Z and Kanye used to do that one song like a bunch of times. So maybe on the. For the episode, if you're looking to pad it out, you could just do it like, you know, and again. And then you do the Rap City jingle again.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Because we're only at 2 hours, 18 minutes, so we should probably pad this
Mike Mitchell
one out a little bit.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom Walker
Get another ad break in.
Emma Erdbrink
Rap City Chips.
Tiger Weger
Rap City Chips. Rap City Chips. Rap City chips. But that comes without a rhapsody. Chips underneath it. Or is it not.
Amelia Marino
I don't.
Tiger Weger
I don't think it has the Rap City chips underneath.
Emma Erdbrink
The beat is like just the DJs tag. So it kind of just in there. Yeah, I don't. I think it might be an isolation or. They. They're very close.
Mike Mitchell
Them describing the original song to you was the most fun. They're just telling you about the song
Amelia Marino
10, 10 twenties on your titties.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. And you're like, oh, okay.
Emma Erdbrink
I like that.
Tiger Weger
I did like it.
Mike Mitchell
I know.
Tom Walker
That makes sense. Something's got to be on the titties.
Emma Erdbrink
I believe one of the original lyrics was Salty Lips. And Weger was like, I'm to going change lips to tits because it had
Tiger Weger
titties in the song. I was like, we got to keep titties in there somewhere.
Mike Mitchell
I like that.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, yeah.
Emma Erdbrink
You got to keep titties in there somewhere.
Tiger Weger
And if you're eating sloppily, you might very well end up with salty tits.
Emma Erdbrink
It's true.
Tiger Weger
I certainly happen to me.
Emma Erdbrink
Ladies know. And I'm sure gentlemen too, with lower cut shirts. If you go to the movies and you're eating popcorn, when you get home, you take your broth full of popcorn.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, wow.
Tom Walker
Really?
Emma Erdbrink
Because you're not. You don't see it or feel it.
Tom Walker
Popcorn.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
What?
Tom Walker
I've eaten a lot of stuff that I found in, like, the. Oh, I shouldn't say this. I found a lot of. I've eaten, like, a lot of stuff that I found in the folds of my couch.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Tom Walker
Right, right. Who cares?
Mike Mitchell
Amelia likes that, not me. Or she's shocked by it.
Amelia Marino
I'm shocked.
Tom Walker
Really?
Amelia Marino
Yeah.
Tom Walker
I can't believe I got you offside. Oh, I gotta change everything. Yeah, that's bad.
Mike Mitchell
Weiss are good. Weiss, can you hand over the. I Don't have your trip tried them yet?
Tiger Weger
I haven't tried them yet.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, well then keep them and try them. Let me.
Tiger Weger
Okay, let me try these and then I'm gonna circulate.
Mike Mitchell
All right. Here.
Tiger Weger
Everything's going fine.
Emma Erdbrink
What do you need?
Amelia Marino
We could. We could take them later. Don't worry. You guys eat them first.
Mike Mitchell
The sea salt chips are good. It's just a very good classic potato flavor. You're getting there.
Emma Erdbrink
My mom buys these ones a lot in New Hampshire for like we will make or buy like French onion dip. Like these go really great with that. Will I take them to the beach?
Mike Mitchell
Emma, that's sounds like the perfect dip chip.
Tiger Weger
These white cheddar jalapeno are salty as. But they are good. They have just a little bit of burn. I like the cheese flavor.
Mike Mitchell
I think these are great. Now. Now we're talking the white cheddar jalapeno.
Tom Walker
Can I have another go with the white cheddar jalapeno? I can't taste anything yet.
Mike Mitchell
I mean, you can't really.
Tom Walker
Okay, good. It's very. It's very faint. It's like the lacroix of chips almost.
Tiger Weger
But. But I like that it's faint. I like that it's not overpowering.
Tom Walker
No, it's all about the tastes. You don't taste.
Mike Mitchell
These are both snacks for me.
Tiger Weger
Both snacks. Let me just say this. These are both better than anything we had at Outback as far as I'm concerned.
Mike Mitchell
100.
Tiger Weger
I'd rather eat these chips than a meal at Outback any day of the week.
Mike Mitchell
I agree. Augs.
Tiger Weger
Oh, thank you.
Mike Mitchell
100%.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, 100%.
Mike Mitchell
Also the. The last one that we tried was also really good.
Emma Erdbrink
They have a good. Yeah, we tried the. What did we try the sweet and salty ones last time.
Mike Mitchell
That's like their signature chip.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah. They have these how all their chips. The. It's Maybe it's russet potatoes or something that the kettle cookedness of them. They have such a good flavor, like base flavor.
Mike Mitchell
Tom basically nailed it. That it is kind of like the. The flavor is kind of a lacroix Roy level flavor, but still good.
Tiger Weger
I say snack and then major snack to the white cheddar jalapeno.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah. I love these.
Tom Walker
Okay. I really can't taste the difference between the white cheddar jalapeno and the sea salt, to be honest.
Tiger Weger
Well, what. What is your verdict? Even if they're both. They're both neutral to you?
Tom Walker
Pretty great. I got. You know what? I have a slight mouth heat. From the white cheddar jalapeno. But I, I truly yeah, it's really only on the aftertaste. It's, it's on the burn rather than the the initial crunch.
Mike Mitchell
Jimmy wants a chip. She wants. Can we give her a season salt chip?
Tom Walker
I think my, my verdict would be snack rather than the alternative, which of course is whack.
Tiger Weger
Yeah, I, I, I, I go snacks. These are snacks all around. Thank you so much, Brantley.
Tom Walker
Yeah, thank you, Brantley.
Tiger Weger
That was chips and hail. Rest you rangers just like a restaurant. We've our feedback. Feedback. Today's email is from Lindsay, AKA Princess Sloth from the do Score. Princess Sloth writes, when I was a kid, sometimes I would have mayonnaise and banana sandwiches. It wasn't just one adult who made this for me as a kid, which makes me think this was a more normal thing to eat back back then. After a quick Google search, this is more of a southern thing and began during the Great Depression. Sounds about right. Are there any foods you had as a kid that sound revolting to you as an adult? P.S. tomatoes, as Nick likes to call them, and mayonnaise are also a popular combo in the South. Thanks for all the joy you bring.
Mike Mitchell
Wait. Tomato and mayonnaise.
Tiger Weger
Tomatoes and mayonnaise. That's I tomato mayonnaise sandwich. I'd with that.
Tom Walker
That's really good.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Anything as a kid that I, I have.
Tiger Weger
I have two answers. One, and this isn't just because I developed a peanut allergy. This is a thing that I used to have that was like this is my fav treat peanut butter and marshmallow cream sandwich.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, it's not what I was you're gonna say.
Tiger Weger
Yeah but that, that, that to me sounds disgusting right now. It sounds way too sweetener Fluffer nutter sandwiches I loved. I was so like, oh my God, I get to have one of these
Emma Erdbrink
cream and peanut butter.
Tiger Weger
That's exactly what it is.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
No, that so that yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Emma Erdbrink
You're saying it was sounds disgusting to you now.
Tiger Weger
It sounds disgusting to you now. But having a fluffer nutter when I was a kid, I was like, oh my God.
Mike Mitchell
But if you had a fluffing outer now do you think you'd be like this is pretty damn good?
Tiger Weger
I don't know. I mean like because I I think if I got my got a peanut allergy anyway, my ideas are kid. Yeah, that's what I was saying. But my ideas of kid isn't that is like let's say it was like almond butter and something Or.
Mike Mitchell
Or
Tiger Weger
what's. What's a sunflower butter? Let's say sunflower butter and. And marshmallow cream. That, to me, just sounds gross now. And. And when I was a kid, I was like, if I ever get bigged, I could eat these all the time. And I have been big just because of how time progressed, and I am just not particularly interested in them. And I think another one is easy cheese. Y'.
Mike Mitchell
All.
Tiger Weger
Y' all know what easy cheese is?
Tom Walker
I don't have that. Is that like a spray aerosol cheese? That's something that I'm aware of only through children's television.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
As a kid, I thought it was. I was like, this is. I can't believe my parents are letting me get this. And I thought it was so good. And now when I think about it, like, that's the most processed, like, thing imaginable. It's. It seems disgusting to me. So those are two answers that come to mind.
Mike Mitchell
Those are both great answers. I honestly can't think. It is like, some gross, childish thing that is now, like, even erased from my memory, I'm sure is the answer. But my head did go to fluff. Like, a peanut butter and fluff sandwich for lunch is like, that's just too sweet.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
I would still eat one, but I wouldn't want it as my lunch or whatever.
Tiger Weger
But how about what. What about Bubba Chop chip with milk?
Mike Mitchell
Bubba Chop chip with milk. Still delicious.
Tiger Weger
Remind us what that is exactly.
Emma Erdbrink
It's good to say. I'm going to need a refresher.
Mike Mitchell
It's chocolate milk and a Bubba.
Tiger Weger
Got it.
Mike Mitchell
Bubba. Bubba Ju. It's Bubba Juice. Chop chip.
Tiger Weger
Bubba Juice. Chop chip with.
Mike Mitchell
With milk.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
And what is a Bubba Juice?
Mike Mitchell
Bubba Juice is my Bubba. So I was like, I want my Bubba juice.
Tom Walker
Okay.
Mike Mitchell
And then Chop chips, chocolate chip, and then with milk meant, like, make it chocolate milk.
Tiger Weger
They got. Mitch started on chocolate milk early.
Mike Mitchell
Bubba Juice. Chop. I mean, I was. I mean, also it was the 80s. I'm sure that I was drinking chocolate milk too early. I'm sure. Yeah, I guess I. I guess that that is the sort. Why that is, though now you're saying, say it like strawberry milk or something like that. You do go away from these things as you get older. It's sad. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not doing flavored milk as much as I used to. We have.
Tom Walker
We have quite a bit of flavored milk culture over in Australia.
Mike Mitchell
Really? Yeah.
Tom Walker
It's weirdly, like, quite a big, like, manual labor thing where maybe like, less now because, you know, everyone has their knowledge of like, you know, our protein maxing and. But like in, you know, early thousands and like nineties, the, the common thing was you'd see a tradie with like a big. A big m. Which is like a.
Tiger Weger
Our big.
Tom Walker
A big carton of chalky milk or like a strawberry milk or whatever. And that was just like. Yeah, well, I'm doing a hard day's work, so I have to have. You know. It's fuel. It's fuel.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. The muscle milks we have, we have that culture a little bit.
Tom Walker
Typically this had no protein added to it. It's just like chocolate milk. It's literally like child drink.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Milk tried to push that for a while that like you could get like, like, like there's a, there's a good source of calcium, of course. And it was like chocolate milk is like a good way to like, you know, it was like a good way to get your vitamins.
Tiger Weger
And I had chocolate milk at school every day. What were they doing to us?
Mike Mitchell
I did have a carton of chocolate milk almost every day as well. WS and only chocolate milk. Yeah.
Tom Walker
God. I think for me the. I know you guys heard fairy bread. That's the classic Australian snack that is just like, it's white bread, margarine or butter and then a sprinkling of hundreds of. And thousands which is a. Basically a circular sprinkle and that is the end of the recipe.
Mike Mitchell
Wow.
Tom Walker
Yeah. And so it's literally sugar sandwich. But an open faced sugar sandwich is a good way of describing fairy bread. And that's like what you would eat at essentially every birthday party until you were old enough to drink. Feels like. So like that's what it looks like.
Tiger Weger
Hey, I fuck with that.
Tom Walker
Yeah. Look, as a child this hits, but as an adult, if you ever have
Mike Mitchell
it, I've heard of this.
Tom Walker
Mental.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah, I just, I just weirdly was reading about this for some reason. I don't know why this is true.
Tiger Weger
It basically for our fraudulent listeners, looks like buttered white bread with funfetti on top.
Mike Mitchell
Maybe someone in the. Maybe someone on the Reddit sprinkles on top brought it up. But I just remembered a sandwich I got almost every day in elementary school. Not every day, but many, many days. And it was a bologna sandwich with ketchup on white bread.
Emma Erdbrink
I was going to say I ate
Tiger Weger
so much baloney as a kid, like
Emma Erdbrink
just right out of the bag from the grocery store, pieces of baloney. And the idea of doing that now kind of nasty yeah.
Mike Mitchell
The baloney itself. Like if you made me like a bologna and cheese sandwich, I'm sure I'd be like, this is great. Baloney. White bread. Like white wonder bread. Bologna and ketchup.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
In like that to me I'm like, that is pretty gnarly. I feel like. And that was like. I was like a child. But I loved it. I liked it. Liked ketchup.
Tom Walker
I used to eat so much tomato ketchup.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
Or Heinz as the UCB handbook would have a say.
Amelia Marino
There you go.
Tom Walker
I used to eat so much Heinz just like, you know, and tomato sauce sandwiches were so good.
Mike Mitchell
I damn the. The. It was like one slice of bologna, ketchup and, and white like it. And then like you were saying like a chocolate milk. Yeah. It was a wild time.
Tiger Weger
My buddy, my buddy got a dui, Not Mitch. And spent the night in prison.
Mike Mitchell
Thank you. And.
Tiger Weger
And spent the night in jail. And in the morning like the, the breakfast they gave him was two baloney sandwiches and two cartons of milk. And he was like in, in this drunk tank with a bunch of other guys. And he got there, he's like, he's just like looking at it. And then this big guy comes up to him and says, you want your baloney? He says, there you go. Just gave it to him.
Mike Mitchell
It was. It sounds like the guy. It sounds like stark Raving dad.
Tiger Weger
It did sound very much like stark Raving Dad. Sort of contrast between physical form and high pitched voice.
Mike Mitchell
The Michael Jackson character from his real
Tiger Weger
name is Leon Kampowski.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, that's right.
Tiger Weger
I forgot that.
Mike Mitchell
That's the reveal. Good question. Lisa, it's your birthday.
Tom Walker
Wow. Holy shit. It wasn't Michael Jackson. It was wise all along.
Tiger Weger
Bologna sandwich. Amelia, anything gross you ate as a kid that you wouldn't want now if
Amelia Marino
there was nothing in the fridge and I to had kind of like concoct something myself. I remember making like mustard bagels, like grocery store bagels. And if there was no cold cuts or anything, I would just put mustard on it.
Mike Mitchell
That was pretty nasty.
Tiger Weger
That does sound gross.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
I used to just eat like straight spoonfuls of sugar and salt.
Emma Erdbrink
I would do that with sugar. I would be like. Like if I made coffee sometimes I'd just be like, eh, a little sugar for me.
Tiger Weger
That's wild.
Emma Erdbrink
No wonder we were a fat kid.
Tom Walker
Yeah, right. See how chubby I was? Little fat. Going into the pantry to eat sugar out of the bag.
Tiger Weger
Mitch is queuing me for the mayo spoon, which I do.
Mike Mitchell
The mayo spoonful, but also I was gonna ask you songs in the key of Springfield. Would you rank that over any Beatles album and specifically Abbey Road?
Tiger Weger
Yes.
Tom Walker
Did the Beatles ever do the Botman?
Mike Mitchell
They should have.
Tiger Weger
They should have.
Mike Mitchell
They were on top of the building. They were on top of Moe's. They did play on top of Mo. Oh, no, wait. No, they didn't.
Tiger Weger
No, they didn't. Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
George Harrison drove by and saw.
Tiger Weger
Saw. It's been done.
Mike Mitchell
It's been done. He saw the B sharps doing it.
Tiger Weger
If you have a question regarding about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us@feedback birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-go-. That's 830-463-6844. Our producers, Emma Erdbrink. Our associate producers, Amelia Marino. Our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Doughboys merch@kinshipgoods.com doughboys and I believe we're on the other side of a recent tour. We got some live shows coming up in the fall. Look for those.
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah, we'll be in Texas in November. And yeah, keep an eye on birdfuck.com
Tiger Weger
and to get the Doughboys de weekly bonus episode, subscribe@patreon.com doughboys Tom Walker, such an absolute delight to have you in studio. Thank you so much for making time with us. As I mentioned, I'm a big, big soft titty PNG patreon subscriber. When I told Demi this, she just
Tom Walker
said, why, yes, it's really scary. So if you guys are wondering if w is having, like, cognitive decline issues, it's truly because of our podcast.
Emma Erdbrink
That's what we say about our podcast.
Tom Walker
So I really think we're making each other worse. Yeah, we're smoothing his brain out like beach glass. It's not a good thing to put your brain through, but yeah, check out, check out BigSoftTDY PNG. It's a podcast where we, I don't know, we do, like, miniature horse news and we do updates on self suck. Guys, we're both obsessed with the Black Eyed Peas, so we keep doing the Black Eyed Peas update on let's get up Updated. There's a. There's a lot of good stuff out there. And it's me and my sweet wife Demi. Also, I have a special app. By the time you're listening to this, it'll be up on YouTube. It's called My Treasures. My beautiful treasures. It's all about the guys I've gotten obsessed with over the years. In particular, a, a guy who I found who I got completely obsessed with because he kept a daily diary of his attempts to have a wet dream. And he kept that for six years.
Mike Mitchell
Wow.
Tom Walker
And I got obsessed with it. It enough. And I thought it was, like, valuable enough and funny enough that I. And also I was experiencing insomnia at the time. I went through and itemized every single day into a spreadsheet. So you'll hear the takeaways from that.
Mike Mitchell
That's good as hell.
Tom Walker
It's really fucking good. It's like. There's some really interesting human moments there.
Mike Mitchell
I hope I have one tonight.
Tom Walker
I wish that for you.
Mike Mitchell
Thank you.
Emma Erdbrink
You do keep us updated.
Tom Walker
Yeah.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah. Why not?
Tom Walker
Hey, check this out. I gift you one. I cast my spell.
Mike Mitchell
I love this.
Amelia Marino
Wow.
Tom Walker
Not a problem.
Mike Mitchell
I love it.
Tom Walker
Anyone else in the market? Nick.
Tiger Weger
Yeah. Right?
Emma Erdbrink
Yeah. Yeah. Throw it.
Mike Mitchell
Amelia's name.
Tom Walker
I gift you one.
Emma Erdbrink
Amelia.
Tom Walker
Amelia, I gift you one. Yes.
Mike Mitchell
Emma.
Tom Walker
One for you as well. And you, the viewer at home. You're welcome.
Mike Mitchell
Don't forget Jemmy.
Tom Walker
Oh, Jemmy. How could I forget the sweet dog? This is so cool. This is what Scott Adams was doing before he carked it.
Tiger Weger
I think I'll take a nap right now. Jimmy.
Tom Walker
Jimmy. You dirty dog.
Tiger Weger
Anything else you want to plug? You get your Twitch Stream? Very funny.
Tom Walker
Oh, yeah. Check out Twitch tv. Tom Walker. I do stupid shit on there. I did a thing where I flipped a coin until I got 10 heads in a row, but if I got 10 tails, it took eight hours. Man, it sucked.
Mike Mitchell
And then how close did you get? Like nine? A lot or no.
Tom Walker
So the deal was I flipped a coin until I got 10 heads in a row, but if it got 10 tails, the number went up by 1 1, and I got 10 tails immediately.
Mike Mitchell
Oh, my.
Tom Walker
And so I had to flip a coin until I got 11.
Mike Mitchell
That sucks.
Tom Walker
It was a hell of my own making.
Tiger Weger
Well, hey, we we over here. We call that the Doughboys podcast. Yeah, We've all got our burdens, bro.
Tom Walker
Sometimes the gilded cage is so shiny, you almost forget it's true. Feels good in here.
Tiger Weger
Yeah.
Tom Walker
And it's cool that nobody else works in the gilded cage.
Mike Mitchell
Mysteriously destroyed.
Tiger Weger
Really?
Mike Mitchell
It's not really gilded. It's kind of rusted. And there's a gate guy
Emma Erdbrink
that'll do
Tiger Weger
it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for the spoon. Mad Mitchell. I'm Tiger Weger. Happy eating.
Mike Mitchell
See ya. That was a Headgum podcast.
Tiger Weger
Hello.
Tom Walker
I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine.
Tiger Weger
Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to coming to.
Emma Erdbrink
That's what it is.
Tiger Weger
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Tom Walker
And I'm Jeff Tremaine.
Tiger Weger
Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new
Tom Walker
show now on Headgum.
Emma Erdbrink
Woo hoo.
Tom Walker
Woo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to
Tiger Weger
be really 90 minutes.
Mike Mitchell
Every minute over is a minute to go.
Tiger Weger
Apparently there's only so much butthole you can take. We're gonna take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits back. Bad behavior and even worse decisions.
Tom Walker
All of it.
Tiger Weger
Sometimes we don't make the right decisions. Jeff.
Tom Walker
I've noticed that every every so often
Tiger Weger
with guests like Spike Jones.
Tom Walker
I think let's commit to Jackass the podcast.
Tiger Weger
What was it going to be called?
Tom Walker
The Jackass Podcast. Jackass Podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly.
Tiger Weger
Steve O. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in clown makeup. Right? This fucking Chris Ponus.
Tom Walker
That shot of your butt just cruising up. I'm like, yeah, I got that on tv. God bless us.
Tiger Weger
Dave England.
Mike Mitchell
Yeah.
Tom Walker
When you come in and you're being
Mike Mitchell
really nice, I'm like, damn it.
Tom Walker
Something bad's gonna happen to me.
Tiger Weger
We man.
Tom Walker
Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted
Mike Mitchell
to kill me, like.
Tiger Weger
And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy.
Tom Walker
I left a nice surprise in the toilet for him every time.
Tiger Weger
Apparently he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocket Cast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts.
Tom Walker
Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo. Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.
Tiger Weger
Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and tik tok@jackassthepodcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.
Mike Mitchell
Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was Us now on Headgum.
Tiger Weger
Each episode we're going to go into
Amelia Marino
a deep dive from our show.
Tiger Weger
This is us.
Mike Mitchell
That's right.
Tiger Weger
We're going to go episode by episode.
Amelia Marino
We're also going to to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.
Mike Mitchell
Are we going to cry?
Tiger Weger
Yes, a little bit.
Mike Mitchell
Are we going to laugh a lot?
Tiger Weger
A whole lot.
Mike Mitchell
That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.
Release Date: June 18, 2026
Host(s): Mike “Spoonman” Mitchell & Nick “Tiger” Wiger
Guest: Tom Walker (Australian comedian, host of "BigSoftTitty PNG" and presenter of "Great Australian Bake Off")
Producer Team: Emma Erdbrink, Amelia Marino
Location: Live in-studio, Los Angeles
The boys return for their fourth official review of Outback Steakhouse—a mainstay of American faux-Aussie dining—joined by Australian comedian Tom Walker. The episode roams from chain restaurant nostalgia, outrageous improv, and international fast food, to a critical journey through Outback’s current menu. They also dig into what makes (and breaks) American and Australian food culture, reminisce about weird snacks from childhood, and, in classic Doughboys style, spiral into absurdity and playful bickering.
“Zero faith in your clientele to translate.” – Tom Walker ([143:00])
“If you bomb, they grab you by the back of your head, push you into the shit, and rub your face in it—just to remember that wasn’t funny.” – Tom Walker ([33:24])
Delmonico Ribeye:
Sydney Salad (with Steak):
Outback Burger: Wiger’s pick, with American cheese—“pretty good”; fries got strong praise for this tier of chain.
[101:53–102:49, 149:33–151:06]
Fork ratings for Outback, throughout Doughboys history, have steadily dropped:
“Outback sucks, right? And it used to be better. Why are we giving this place any grace? It’s just declined, and it’s going away.” – Wiger ([148:40])
Cost Discussion: Tom pays $160 (pre-tip) for 3 on a previous visit; this meal for several was $300+ (“sticker shock” [145:14]).
Tablet Games: They were upcharged $3 for simply launching a table video game—seen as pure “insidification” and a cheap ploy for revenue.
“Alice Springs Chicken is the three words that have never been put together in Australia!” —Tom Walker ([94:26])
“If you bomb, they grab you by the back of your head and push you into the shit—just to remember that wasn’t funny.” —Tom Walker ([33:24])
“Canada of Australia.” —Wiger
“The better us, yeah.” —Tom Walker ([108:29])
“Who would go to Outback, apart from someone who needs to not experience anything new in their life?” —Tom Walker ([145:46])
“It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was a new color. Like, a series of flavors happened, one after another, in such a confusing way.” —Tom Walker ([107:37])
“I thought the Bloomin’ Onion today was pretty good. … Some people though were so-so. It’s been a little too oily. I thought today’s was decent, but it’s hit or miss.” —Mitchell ([115:21])
Tom Walker (on Outback’s fake theming):
“Alice Springs Chicken is the three words that have never been put together in Australia!” – [94:26]
Tom Walker (on clown school):
“If you bomb, they grab you by the back of your head and push you into the shit...” – [33:20]
Wiger (on Outback’s decline):
“Outback sucks, right? And it used to be better. Why should we be giving this place any grace?” – [148:40]
Mitchell (withering summary):
“Who would go to Outback, apart from someone who needs to not experience anything new in their life?” – [145:46]
Mitchell (on dessert joy): “My favorite thing was the dessert and the coconut shrimp. Those are my bites of the night.” – [148:08]
This summary skips ad reads/sponsor midrolls and opening housekeeping.
Quotes and timestamps preserved from the episode’s original playful, irreverent tone.