Are 16-year-olds Too Young to Date?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day Episode: Are 16-year-olds Too Young to Date?
Release Date: July 13, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a pressing question from a 16-year-old listener named Amelia: "Are 16-year-olds too young to date?" Through a candid conversation, Dr. Laura explores the complexities of teenage relationships, the importance of boundaries, and the influence of parental guidance.

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Amelia's Concern: Navigating Teenage Dating

Amelia reaches out to seek advice on her desire to spend time with a boy her mother is hesitant about. She shares, "[00:33] Amelia: So my problem is that I would really like to hang out with this boy that I've been talking to, but my mom isn't so sure about it."

Dr. Laura's Initial Assessment

Dr. Laura recognizes this scenario as a common generational issue. She probes deeper, urging Amelia to provide more insight into the boy's character beyond his involvement in sports. However, Amelia's responses remain superficial, prompting Dr. Laura to question the substance of Amelia's knowledge about him.

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The Underlying Concern: Sexual Readiness

A pivotal moment in the conversation arises when Dr. Laura addresses the topic of sexual expectations in teenage relationships:

• Dr. Laura: "[01:47] ...you do know that teenage boys would very much prefer girls who have sex with them. You do know that, right?"
• Amelia: "[01:56] Yeah."
• Dr. Laura: "[01:58] Are you planning to have sex with him at 16?"

Amelia firmly states her stance against engaging in sexual activities at her age, emphasizing her lack of readiness:

• Amelia: "[02:06] Because I'm not ready."

Strategies for Maintaining Boundaries

Dr. Laura acknowledges Amelia's firmness but raises concerns about potential peer pressure:

• Dr. Laura: "[02:17] But when he pushes a little bit, how are you going to say no without getting him mad at you?"

Amelia confidently responds with a plan to decline any advance:

• Amelia: "[02:29] I would just say no. I'll just leave. I don't want to have sex at my age."

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Encouraging Open Communication

Dr. Laura advises Amelia to have an honest conversation with the boy, clearly stating her boundaries:

• Dr. Laura: "[02:38] ...you have a talk with him and say, I like you a lot... But I just want you to know that hanging out with you does not include sex. Do you still want to hang out with me?"

Amelia agrees to this approach, demonstrating her readiness to assert her values.

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Evaluating the Nature of 'Hanging Out'

Dr. Laura further explores the specifics of the proposed activities, questioning the supervision and context of their interactions:

• Dr. Laura: "[03:14] ...like, going to like movies or like going shopping..."

She clichés that shopping is typically a girls' activity, challenging Amelia's assumptions:

• Dr. Laura: "[03:49] Like guys don't. Guys don't like shopping. Guys don't like shopping."

Amelia attempts to reassure by mentioning parental supervision:

• Amelia: "[04:02] ...there would be like, like a parent at least with us."

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Critique of Parental Supervision as a Barrier

Dr. Laura critically examines the practicality of constant parental supervision, suggesting that it may hinder the natural development of trust and independence in teenage relationships:

• Dr. Laura: "[04:26] You buy that story?"
• Amelia: "[04:26] It would be hard. It would be hard to be there always."

Promoting Group Activities and Patience

Concluding the conversation, Dr. Laura advocates for group dating as a safer and more appropriate way for teenagers to explore relationships. She emphasizes patience and acknowledges Amelia's current readiness:

• Dr. Laura: "[05:29] ...the best kind of dating at your age is group dating... You're not ready, so be patient."

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Key Takeaways

1. Open Communication: Dr. Laura encourages honest dialogues between teenagers and their peers about personal boundaries and expectations.

2. Parental Guidance: While parental supervision is important, excessive oversight may impede teenagers' ability to navigate social interactions independently.

3. Group Interactions: Engaging in group activities provides a balanced environment for teenagers to develop relationships without undue pressure.

4. Patience and Readiness: Recognizing one's own readiness is crucial in making informed decisions about dating and relationships.

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Conclusion

Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides thoughtful and pragmatic advice to Amelia, balancing the desire for social interaction with the importance of maintaining personal boundaries. The episode serves as a valuable resource for both teenagers and parents navigating the complexities of adolescent relationships.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Amelia's Dilemma:

  • "[00:33] Amelia: So my problem is that I would really like to hang out with this boy that I've been talking to, but my mom isn't so sure about it."

• Addressing Sexual Expectations:

  • "[01:47] Dr. Laura: ...you do know that teenage boys would very much prefer girls who have sex with them. You do know that, right?"

• Setting Boundaries:

  • "[02:38] Dr. Laura: ...hanging out with you does not include sex. Do you still want to hang out with me?"

• Challenging Assumptions:

  • "[03:49] Dr. Laura: Like guys don't. Guys don't like shopping. Guys don't like shopping."

• Advocating Group Dating:

  • "[05:29] Dr. Laura: ...the best kind of dating at your age is group dating... You're not ready, so be patient."

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Further Engagement

Listeners are encouraged to connect with Dr. Laura through her social media platforms for more insights and to participate in future discussions:

• Facebook: facebook.com/drlaura
• Instagram: instagram.com/drlauraprogram

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Disclaimer: The opinions and advice expressed in this podcast reflect the views of Dr. Laura Schlessinger and are intended for informational purposes only.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Mom and Amelia, who's welcome to the program.

[Amelia]

Hello.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi. Hi, Amelia. How old are you?

[Amelia]

Hi. I'm 16 years old.

[Dr. Laura]

16, is that sweet? 16? Are you sweet? Yeah. Okay. How can I help you, Amelia?

[Amelia]

So my problem is that I would really like to hang out with this boy that I've been talking to, but my mom isn't so sure about it.

[Dr. Laura]

Mm. And when your daughter is 16, you'll be calling me about this. She'll be calling me about the same thing. Amelia. Happens in every generation. Okay. Tell me something first about this boy.

[Amelia]

Well, he is 16. He'll be 17 soon. He plays hockey, and we want to hang out together, do, like, fun activities.

[Dr. Laura]

You're not telling me about him. You just said he plays sports. Tell me something about him as a person.

[Amelia]

He's, like, really nice, and we.

[Dr. Laura]

You don't know anything about him. He's cute and he plays soccer, and that's what it is to be 16.

[Amelia]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah. And you do know that teenage boys would very much prefer girls who have sex with them. You do know that, right?

[Amelia]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Are you planning to have sex with him at 16?

[Amelia]

No. No.

[Dr. Laura]

Why?

[Amelia]

Because I don't want to have sex at 16.

[Dr. Laura]

Why?

[Amelia]

Because I'm not ready.

[Dr. Laura]

But when he pushes a little bit, how are you going to say no without getting him mad at you?

[Amelia]

I would just say no. I'll just leave. I don't want to have sex at my age.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Do you think if you told him that he would still want to hang out with you, you might want to try finding out? Yeah, I recommend you try to find that out. You have a talk with him and say, I like you a lot. I don't know much about you, but I like you a lot. You're good looking and you play soccer, so that's a lot. But I just want you to know that hanging out with you does not include sex. Do you still want to hang out with me?

[Amelia]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Do you think you're brave enough to say that?

[Amelia]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Because most girls are not brave enough to say that. They get embarrassed. They don't want the guy to reject them. They act like silly ninnies. So if you're really going to ask him that. Okay, so what's this hanging out? Is that at his house? Your house? Is there adult supervision? What are we talking about?

[Amelia]

Like. Like really talking about, like, going to like movies or like going shopping or go.

[Dr. Laura]

Like guys don't. Guys don't like shopping. Guys don't like shopping. No, that's just silly. Girls do shopping. Guys don't do shopping.

[Amelia]

Yeah. And I was telling my mom like there would be like, like a parent at least with us.

[Dr. Laura]

So, mom, are you in belief that there'll always be a parent there? The almost 17 year old boy, that he's going to have his parent there? Are you?

[Amelia]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

You buy that story?

[Amelia]

It would be hard. It would be hard to be there always.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, so, Amelia, you actually think you're gonna go to a movie with his mother or your mother or his father or your father there in the movie theater? You really think he's gonna want to do that?

[Amelia]

Probably.

[Dr. Laura]

So that's out. So telling him you don't want sex, always thinking that there's a parent about cuts the fun. Now, an alternative is if your mother gets to meet his parents and you're over at his house doing stuff, or your house and doing stuff and there's a parent around, can play board games, all kinds of stuff.

[Amelia]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

If anybody's rich and has a swimming pool, you can do that.

[Amelia]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Amelia, you do understand that you sound like you're about 12, right?

[Amelia]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, you do. Tell me something about him. He plays soccer. That's how we pick a guy. That's how we pick a guy. It's not like we go to church together, we take church classes together. We've gone on hikes with groups of people. The best kind of dating at your age is group dating, where y' all go on a hike and then there's a picnic and there's some adults around just in case something goes down. That's difficult. That's what I think your mother is going to be more secure about. I think letting you free to do your thing with some guy is probably not a good plan. You're not ready, so be patient. Your mother, see, you're at a little disadvantage, Amelia. Your mother has been 16, I have been 16. We know my number. 1-800-375-2872. You know, give me a break. Okay? Yeah, no, not really. But here's what you can do. Group dating. You can have boyfriends and girlfriends, but be in a big group and do group things. That's fabulous. My number, 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media. On Facebook and Instagram, I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and and instagram.com drlauraprogram.