The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Between Now and Dead and Lesbian Desires
Date: January 6, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Key Caller: Chase

Overview

This episode of The Dr. Laura Podcast centers on an insightful conversation between Dr. Laura Schlessinger and a first-time caller, Chase. The discussion explores themes of sexual identity, relationship expectations within the lesbian community, personal integrity, and the challenges of seeking authentic connection in both romantic and professional contexts. Dr. Laura offers her signature candid advice and empathetic guidance, encouraging listeners to prioritize fulfillment and honesty over social pressures or discomfort.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller Introduction & Identity

• Chase calls in as a "first-time caller, long-time listener," seeking Dr. Laura's perspective on her experiences in the dating world and at work.

• Chase identifies as a Black woman and discusses her discomfort with labels but acknowledges her romantic and sexual preference for women.

• She expresses deep appreciation for Dr. Laura and shares her admiration for the host's resilience and eloquence.

  "Honey, I live from uproar to uproar." — Dr. Laura (03:30)
  "I truly appreciate what you've done for me, truly as a black woman... I love you dearly." — Chase (03:30)

2. Sexual Preferences, Labels, and Relationship Honesty

• Chase discusses her attraction to women—especially straight women—and challenges with labels.

  • While she doesn't like being labeled as "lesbian" due to its limitations, she concedes its utility in relationships.
  • She explains, with candor, her sexual history, noting her preference for both giving and receiving affection and dissatisfaction with women who are "touch me nots."
  • Chase articulates a broader problem: some partners are not honest about their sexual activities or orientation, leading to distrust and safety concerns.

  "If I'm a guy and I want to date you, it's helpful to know I'm not your first choice." — Dr. Laura (03:59) "Most women that don't want to be touched, they're touch me not. They may have been victimized to some degree." — Chase (05:15)

3. Frustration with Inauthenticity in Relationships

• Chase voices difficulty in finding women who match her honesty and openness about desires and boundaries.

• She describes encounters with women who claim to be exclusively lesbian but continue to secretly engage with men, risking both emotional and physical safety.

  "You can't say to me you're lesbian, but when you want an opportunity to give penis or you feel that way, you go get some and don't tell me about it... We're not being safe at that point." — Chase (08:48)

• Dr. Laura acknowledges the challenge of finding a truly compatible and sincere partner.

  "So you're having a difficult time finding, I was going to say straight up, a true blue like you, who is as open and honest and puts it out on the table." — Dr. Laura (09:36)

4. Tension with Workplace Culture and Social Trends

• Chase, a doctor in education, reveals frustration with "new ideologies and doctrines" at work.

• She feels ostracized and bullied for not subscribing to what she describes as contemporary social pressures regarding sexual identity and gender politics.

  "I feel like people are castigating me because I don't subscribe to that new idea." — Chase (10:26) "Yes, they are." — Dr. Laura (10:21)

• Chase feels out of place in the shifting "new world" and uncomfortable with expectations she does not want to adopt, such as sharing bathrooms with transgender individuals.

  "I feel really uncomfortable in this new world... I don't like labels either. Because if you are a person who likes women, so what? Why do I have to be a part of that Alphabet soup?" — Chase (10:45)

5. Relationship Dynamics and Sexual Compatibility

• Chase is currently dating someone who refuses to reciprocate oral sex but wants an intense emotional relationship; this imbalance leaves Chase unfulfilled.

• Dr. Laura's core advice is to avoid wasting time in unsatisfying or incompatible relationships—especially since "life is terminal."

  "Well, then Chase, as I said many times, life is terminal. Don't waste any time." — Dr. Laura (11:36) "I'd rather you kept trying to find. There's gotta be another person who has your mentality. There has to be." — Dr. Laura (12:37)

6. Encouragement, Affirmation, and Concluding Advice

• Dr. Laura and Chase share mutual admiration and warmth, closing the conversation with supportive and affirming words from both sides.

  "Thank you. You look great for your age. You work out. I mean, you are extraordinarily beautiful. I'm not flirting or anything... but I really, really admire you." — Chase (12:58) "Flirt away. Nobody flirts with me." — Dr. Laura (13:09)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Resilience:
  "Honey, I live from uproar to uproar." — Dr. Laura (03:30)

• On Honesty in Relationships:
  "You're having trouble finding a woman like you." — Dr. Laura (09:36)
  "You can't say to me you're lesbian, but when you want an opportunity to give penis... you go get some and don't tell me about it." — Chase (08:48)

• On Social Trends:
  "I feel like people are castigating me because I don't subscribe to that new idea." — Chase (10:26)
  "Yes, they are." — Dr. Laura (10:21)

• On Not Wasting Time:
  "Life is terminal. Don't waste any time." — Dr. Laura (11:36)

• Lighthearted Flirt:
  "Flirt away. Nobody flirts with me." — Dr. Laura (13:09)

Important Timestamps

• 01:41 — Chase introduces herself and her appreciation for Dr. Laura.
• 03:44 — Chase discusses her preferences and struggles with labels.
• 08:42 — Chase details trust issues and honesty within lesbian relationships.
• 09:56 — Chase shares her workplace frustrations and feelings of being cast out.
• 11:36 — Dr. Laura offers her signature advice about the brevity of life and not wasting time on unfulfilling relationships.
• 13:09 — Playful exchange of mutual admiration.

Episode Tone & Takeaways

The tone is candid, supportive, and reflective, with moments of humor and warmth. Dr. Laura provides pragmatic, no-nonsense advice rooted in personal responsibility, honesty, and the pursuit of genuine fulfillment. Chase’s vulnerability and frankness highlight the complexities of modern queer relationships and societal shifts, making this episode both relatable and thought-provoking—especially for listeners navigating changing social landscapes and seeking authentic connection.

Main Takeaway:
Don’t waste precious time in relationships or environments that don’t match your needs and values. Prioritize integrity, honesty, and your own emotional fulfillment—because, as Dr. Laura says, life is terminal.