Boys Need a Healthy Fear of Their Fathers

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode Title: Boys Need a Healthy Fear of Their Fathers
Release Date: June 14, 2025

In this compelling episode of Dr. Laura Schlessinger's "Call of the Day" podcast, Dr. Laura tackles a critical issue facing many families: the lack of a strong paternal presence and its impact on teenage boys. Through a heartfelt conversation with caller Scott, Dr. Laura delves into the importance of a father's authoritative role in guiding his son away from risky behaviors.

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Caller Introduction and Background

Scott joins the show seeking advice on a troubling family situation. He explains that he has been married for 17 years and has a 15-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter. Recently, his daughter discovered a vaping device in their son's bedroom, leading to the revelation that he has been experimenting with drugs and alcohol since October.

"He finally admitted to experimenting with drugs and alcohol or let's see, since October."
— Scott (00:48)

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Understanding the Core Issue

Scott is grappling with how to respond to his son's behavior. He wonders whether to adopt a strict disciplinary approach or seek a more understanding and supportive stance. Dr. Laura promptly challenges Scott to introspect on why his son does not respect or fear him enough to refrain from such behaviors.

"He's not scared of you guys. Why isn't he afraid of you?"
— Dr. Laura (01:48)

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Dr. Laura’s Guidance on Parental Responsibility

Dr. Laura emphasizes the necessity for fathers to take an active and authoritative role in their children's lives. She suggests that Scott needs to bridge the emotional gap with his son to prevent him from seeking solace in harmful substances.

"This boy needs his dad to fill him up and help him on the path to becoming a man."
— Dr. Laura (08:13)

She advises Scott to acknowledge his shortcomings in parenting and make immediate, sincere efforts to connect with his son.

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The Pivotal Role of the Father

Dr. Laura probes deeper into Scott’s upbringing to highlight the traditional expectations placed on fathers. She asks:

"What did your father teach you about being a man as opposed to a male?"
— Dr. Laura (05:35)

Scott shares that his father instilled values such as honesty, integrity, and faith. Dr. Laura uses this reflection to stress the importance of embodying these virtues as a father to influence his son positively.

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Leveraging Ancestral Wisdom for Modern Parenting

Recognizing the distance between Scott and his father, Dr. Laura urges him to seek his father's counsel despite the logistical challenges. She believes that involving his father can provide Scott with the necessary support and strategies to guide his son effectively.

"Ask your dad to help you with this, please."
— Dr. Laura (07:17)

Scott agrees to take her advice, acknowledging the value of his father's experience and wisdom.

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Addressing Substance Experimentation Through Fatherly Guidance

Scott expresses concern that his son's experimentation stems from unaddressed emotional needs and a lack of direction. Dr. Laura reaffirms that without a strong paternal role model, teenagers may turn to substances to fill the void.

"He doesn't know what path to be on and how to handle it. Because you didn't role model it for him, you didn't teach him for it."
— Dr. Laura (08:13)

She reinforces the idea that fostering a robust father-son relationship is crucial in steering teens away from harmful behaviors.

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Conclusion and Next Steps

Scott leaves the conversation feeling more confident and committed to strengthening his relationship with his son by involving his own father in the process. Dr. Laura encourages him to continue seeking support and maintaining open lines of communication.

"I'll do that."
— Scott (07:49)

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Final Thoughts

This episode underscores the indispensable role fathers play in shaping their sons' lives. Dr. Laura Schlessinger advocates for fathers to establish authority, provide emotional support, and model positive behaviors to prevent adolescents from engaging in risky activities. By fostering a strong, respectful, and supportive relationship, fathers can guide their sons toward responsible and fulfilling lives.

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Contact Dr. Laura:

• Phone: [phone]
• Facebook: facebook.com/drlaura
• Instagram: instagram.com/drlauraprogram

Dr. Laura encourages listeners to reach out for support and to engage with her on social media for ongoing advice and community stories.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX. Scott, welcome to the program.

[Scott]

Hey Dr. Laura, thanks for taking my call. And I just wanted to say thank you to you and your team for everything you all do. You've made me a better husband and a better parent. So thank you guys.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you, that's kind.

[Scott]

Here, here's the situation. So, been married to my wife for 17 years. We have a 15 year old son, 13 year old daughter. And about a month ago our daughter came across a vaping device in our son's bedroom. That's where the cats are fed. In there she feeds the cats. After some mild interrogation, he finally admitted to experimenting with drugs and alcohol or let's see, since October. And how do we the advice I need and I'm seeking is how do we balance going scorched earth by okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Before we go scorched earth or anything else, what the hell is wrong with your kid? He's doing this stuff in his house. What the hell? He's not scared of you guys. Listen to me slowly. Listen to me slowly. He's not scared of you guys. Why isn't he afraid of you?

[Scott]

He should be scared of my wife. That's a great question.

[Dr. Laura]

Tell me what you mean by that he should be scared of your wife. I think boys need to be scared of their dads.

[Scott]

I need to step up. So that is definitely a learning that I've over the past few weeks listening to guys that I know I need to be doing better to lay down the law and I feel like I've been doing that. I can definitely do more on that.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you can't tell me you think you've been doing it and then feel bad that you haven't been doing it. Pick one. Your wife has the balls in the family.

[Scott]

Yeah, I admit that. She has some balls. I've been stepping up and I need to be doing more. And that's been a realization for me here within the past month.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, go in his room, sit him down and say I've let you down, haven't spent enough time and effort with you, teaching you Guiding you, working with you, playing with you. And that's all changing today. So you don't need the drugs and the booze or any of that, because we will fulfill those empty spaces together as father and son. And what are you going to do when your wife tries to rein you in? Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor, All Free Clear laundry detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free Clear.

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[Dr. Laura]

Parents of tweens, if you're familiar with far off drop offs. Dad, stop.

[Scott]

Stop.

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[Scott]

When my wife tries to rein me in.

[Dr. Laura]

Mm. People don't like to give up power very easily, Sarah. You know that.

[Scott]

No, no.

[Dr. Laura]

Whole world dynamics.

[Scott]

No, I, I think that's. That's part of her frustration with it that I haven't been doing what you just said. So I think she would welcome that with open arms. And yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

I mean, what did your father, what did your father teach you about being a man as opposed to a male? You know, a leader Stuff like that.

[Scott]

Yeah. He was a. The lessons he left with me, providing for the family, like doing what he had to do to work as much as possible. His love was shown with providing for us.

[Dr. Laura]

He never said. All throughout history. Whoa. All throughout history, men have not necessarily had a lot of time to sit there and play Parcheesi, but they still had expectations of their son's behaviors.

[Scott]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

So what did he teach you about being a man? What did he ever say to you?

[Scott]

Doing the right thing. I mean, being honest, being true to yourself, following God.

[Dr. Laura]

These are sort of universals. I want to know about being a man. What's expected of a man?

[Scott]

Protecting my wife, being there for her.

[Dr. Laura]

And what about your children? Is your dad dead or alive?

[Scott]

He's live.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. Once. Is he in driving distance?

[Scott]

It's a long drive. We see him.

[Dr. Laura]

Is it driving distance?

[Scott]

Seven hours? Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. Take a bus if you want. I think you need to spend a couple days with your dad, asking him to bring you up to speed in his expectations of what makes a man from a male and what he imagines I should be doing. You should be doing with your son, who at this point doesn't have a lot of respect for you or he wouldn't have had that crap in his room.

[Scott]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

So ask your dad to help you with this, please.

[Scott]

I'll do that.

[Dr. Laura]

And then you help your boy. And so it goes. Of course.

[Scott]

Sorry, one more question for you.

[Dr. Laura]

Of course.

[Scott]

In talking with my wife, we feel that he's experimenting because he's trying to. Like that's the solution for something he's facing. He says it's just curiosity that we've plugged him in with.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't care about that. At this point, this boy needs his dad to fill him up and help him on the path to becoming a man. And instead of that, he's tuning his brain out with substances because he doesn't know what path to be on and how to handle it. Because you didn't role model it for him, you didn't teach him for it. So go back to your dad. Two days, a lot of discussions. It's going to be very heart wrenching. Then come back and take care of your family.

[Scott]

Got it. I like it.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Scott]

Dr. Laura. Appreciate it.

[Dr. Laura]

Call me anytime. I appreciate you Calling my number, 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.

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