Can Loretta Face Her Fears to Improve Her Life?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode Title: Can Loretta Face Her Fears to Improve Her Life?
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Release Date: May 11, 2025
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt call from Loretta, a longtime listener seeking guidance on a deeply personal and challenging situation. The episode delves into themes of trust, personal responsibility, fear, and the courage to make life-altering decisions.

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Listener's Dilemma: Loretta's Story

[01:20] Loretta begins by sharing her distressing discovery: after 50 years of marriage, she uncovered her husband's 11-year-long affair by looking at his phone. She describes her husband's alcoholism and her own role in trying to keep peace within the marriage by making excuses for his behavior.

"Loretta: I recognize now. I'm in therapy. I recognize now that I'm the person that always tries to keep everybody happy." [01:49]

She further reveals that her husband has been remorseful for the past nine months, admitting to multiple affairs. This revelation leaves Loretta grappling with feelings of foolishness and uncertainty about her future.

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Dr. Laura's Response and Guidance

Dr. Laura immediately challenges the notion of forgiveness and enduring deceit:

"Dr. Laura: He's not remorseful. He got caught. Woman. He's not remorseful." [03:03]

She probes deeper into Loretta's predicament, urging her to define the exact dilemma she faces without additional backstory:

"Dr. Laura: So my question to you is, what is the dilemma you believe you have now? No more backstory. Just tell me the question." [03:25]

Upon hearing Loretta's confusion about whether to stay or leave, especially at her age, Dr. Laura doesn't mince words. She highlights the emotional toll and the importance of making a decisive choice:

"Dr. Laura: You have a decision not to be stupid anymore." [06:23]

Addressing Loretta's fears of loneliness and uncertainty post-separation, Dr. Laura emphasizes the power of design and self-determination in shaping one's future:

"Dr. Laura: Between now and dead. Is this all you want for your life? You don't want in your last maybe 20 years an opportunity to have a better one?" [07:28]

She encourages Loretta to confront her fears head-on:

"Dr. Laura: Well, then you're going to have to jump in the water." [07:47]

Dr. Laura also touches upon the impact of Loretta's decisions on her adult children, advising transparency and honesty:

"Dr. Laura: They need to know the truth. And that you don't want to live this way anymore." [08:10]

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Key Insights and Conclusions

• Personal Responsibility: Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of taking control of one's life, especially when past actions and decisions have led to prolonged unhappiness.

• Courage to Change: A central theme is the necessity of overcoming fear to pursue a better and more authentic life, regardless of age or previous commitments.

• Honesty and Transparency: Addressing the situation with openness, particularly with family members, is crucial for personal healing and rebuilding trust.

• Empowerment: Dr. Laura empowers Loretta (and listeners) to envision and actively create a fulfilling future rather than remaining stagnant in unfavorable circumstances.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Loretta on Self-Realization:
  "I've spent most of our married life making excuses for him." [02:13]

• Dr. Laura on Deception:
  "How does a man lead a double life for 11 years and you not have any notion about money time?" [01:59]

• Dr. Laura on Decision-Making:
  "You have a decision not to be stupid anymore." [06:23]

• Dr. Laura on Seizing Opportunity:
  "Between now and dead. Is this all you want for your life?" [07:28]

• Dr. Laura on Facing Fears:
  "Well, then you're going to have to jump in the water." [07:47]

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Conclusion

This episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of self-respect, honesty, and the courage to make difficult decisions for one's well-being. Dr. Laura's straightforward and compassionate advice provides Loretta—and listeners alike—with the motivation to confront their fears and take actionable steps towards a more fulfilling life.

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Connect with Dr. Laura Schlessinger:

• Website: DrLaura.com
• Facebook: facebook.com/drlaura
• Instagram: instagram.com/drlauraprogram

Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

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[Loretta]

Thanks Dr. Laura. I'm a longtime listener. I just have a bit of a situation I would like some advice on. Last June I picked up my husband's phone while he was in the shower because it kept dinging and found out. Long story short, he had been having an affair with a woman for over 11 years. I'm 74.

[Dr. Laura]

How does a man lead a double life for 11 years and you not have any notion about money time? How does that happen?

[Loretta]

I asked myself the same question, Dr. Laura. He was. He is, he is an alcoholic. And I had gotten.

[Dr. Laura]

And he's an alcoholic. My God, you women know how to pick them.

[Loretta]

I know we've been married 50 years and I had spent my I recognize this now. I'm in therapy. I recognize now that I'm the person that always tries to keep everybody happy. And with him being an alcoholic, I spent most of our married life making excuses for him. And I'm not really sure how he was able to keep all that, excuse me, balls in the air. But turns out not only was there, yes, literally not only this woman, but he has also, you know, told me about other women previous to that. And so I started in therapy. He's very remorse. Remorseful. He has for the last nine months.

[Dr. Laura]

He's not remorseful. He got Caught. Woman. He's not remorseful. He's an old dude, doesn't want to be left alone. Come on.

[Loretta]

Well, here's the deal.

[Dr. Laura]

You're still doing that. Everybody means well. Come on.

[Loretta]

No, you're absolutely right.

[Dr. Laura]

For all of your marriage, for all of your marriage, he could look you square in the eye and lie.

[Loretta]

And lie to me. Yes. Every morning he lied to me.

[Dr. Laura]

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[Loretta]

My dilemma now is do I think that will make it a go or.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry, it may be considered by many rude of me to laugh, but you sound so silly.

[Loretta]

Well, I understand. I mean, I feel silly. I feel stupid. I feel all of those things.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes, but you have a decision not to be stupid anymore.

[Loretta]

I know, but at 74, I. I'm 78.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm alone. I'm 78. I'm Alone. I've got friends, I've got work, I've got teaching, I've got a dog, I got hiking, I got sailing. I got all this stuff. And I don't say I'm 78. I shouldn't have all this stuff. I should just continue being stupid at something. Come on.

[Loretta]

Yeah. I like your honesty and I know you're right. It's. It's a tough one just to make that decision.

[Dr. Laura]

No, it's an easy one. And you want out, but you're scared of what your life would be like afterwards. And the truth is it'll be whatever you design it to be. Absolutely. I know down deep in my gut you want out. You've been effed over a million years. The only thing holding you back is. But I don't know what my life is going to be if I stay with this piece of shit. At least I know what my life is going to be. Duplicitous.

[Loretta]

That is true.

[Dr. Laura]

What about, well, between now and. Between now and dead. Is this all you want for your life? You don't want in your last maybe 20 years an opportunity to have a better one?

[Loretta]

I do.

[Dr. Laura]

Really.

[Loretta]

I worry.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, then you're going to have to jump in the water. You're going to have to jump in the water.

[Loretta]

Yep. I know. You're right.

[Dr. Laura]

Of course it's not easy. It's scary as hell. So what? I'm going to write a book called.

[Loretta]

That'd be a good one. What about adult children? I mean, this is.

[Dr. Laura]

They need to know the truth. And that you don't want to live this way anymore.

[Loretta]

Right.

[Dr. Laura]

With a drunken creep.

[Loretta]

Right. I appreciate it. I really appreciate you listening to me.

[Dr. Laura]

Of course, honey. And I understand how scary it is. But I urge you to face the fear and build something else for your life.

[Loretta]

That's what I want to do.

[Dr. Laura]

I just need to take control. Take control.

[Loretta]

Yes, ma' am.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you, Harley. Trike. Take control. I don't want. But I'm old. So you're old and you want to go down the toilet the way it's been. Or you're old and you'd like to free yourself to have a new adventure and experience. And experience yourself in a way different than a kiss ass. Just try to keep everybody happy. That's not a way to live. When number one, 800-375-2872. Check out my social media. On Facebook and Instagram, I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlaura program.

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