Building Confidence

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Building Confidence
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: May 31, 2026

---

Main Theme

This episode of The Dr. Laura Podcast dives deep into the concept of building genuine confidence. Dr. Laura challenges common misconceptions about self-esteem, stresses the importance of self-challenge, and shares her own insights, experiences, and practical advice about cultivating confidence through action and personal achievement.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Source of Real Confidence (01:33)

• Dr. Laura critiques the idea that confidence can be handed to you through validation or praise.
  • She points out the problems with complimenting or rewarding everyone without merit, drawing on examples like youth sports handing out trophies to all participants.
  • Notable Quote:
    “Compliments not based on anything makes snowflakes. That's why it's a terrible thing that all these little sports teams for little kids give trophies out to everybody because it means nothing to anybody.” (03:14)
• Young children, Dr. Laura observes, tend to be confident and fearless. As they encounter competition and criticism in school, their confidence may shift or drop.

Confidence is Built Internally (02:40)

• Dr. Laura's core message: Real confidence and self-esteem come from impressing yourself.
  • She shares an anecdote about advising a 68-year-old businesswoman who doubted herself when seeking new adventures.
  • Notable Quote:
    “Confidence and self-esteem largely comes from you impressing yourself.” (03:13)
  • Emphasizes that perfection is not the goal—rather, it is engagement and passion.

Joy, Challenges, and Growth (03:30)

• Engage in activities that bring you joy, regardless of your skill level.
  “In any activity I have where the enjoyment goes away, I don’t do [it], whether I’m good at it or not.” (03:55)
• Challenging yourself—even failing and persevering—is essential for true self-esteem.
  • Growth comes from overcoming difficulties, not receiving external rewards or approval.

Setbacks, Failures, and Perseverance (04:31)

• Dr. Laura normalizes setbacks:
  • Every activity involves failures and disappointments; these are natural parts of learning and growth.
  • Avoiding challenges leads to boredom and stagnation.
  • Notable Quote:
    “Nobody’s perfect. When you force yourself out of your comfort zone… that’s how you grow in self-esteem and feeling confident.” (05:12)
• Some people avoid challenges out of a fear of criticism or failure, but this only stunts their growth.

The Churchill Quote and Its Meaning (08:17)

• Dr. Laura shares her favorite quote from Winston Churchill:
  “If you're going through hell, keep going.” (08:20)
  • This means persist through tough times and you will eventually emerge from them stronger.

Achievements vs. External Recognition (08:41)

• True confidence is built through personal accomplishment, not public recognition.
  • Dr. Laura describes the personal joy of holding the first galley of her book:
    “I would write a book and then the galley would be sent to me and I would walk around the house holding the galley, looking at it going, I wrote this. I did this. Wow.” (09:02)
  • She emphasizes that awards and external validation are nice, but real self-esteem comes from knowing what you worked through to achieve something.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Compliments not based on anything makes snowflakes.”
  Dr. Laura Schlessinger (03:14)
• “Confidence and self-esteem largely comes from you impressing yourself.”
  Dr. Laura Schlessinger (03:13)
• “If you're going through hell, keep going.” (citing Churchill)
  Dr. Laura Schlessinger (08:20)
• “When you look at what you’ve accomplished and what it took to get there—that's how you build esteem and confidence. You got to earn it even from yourself.”
  Dr. Laura Schlessinger (09:23)
• “The world is not necessarily going to reward you for things well done. This is not that kind of a world.”
  Dr. Laura Schlessinger (09:47)

---

Practical Takeaways

• Seek joy and challenges in what you do, not just external validation.
• Understand that confidence is a process of overcoming difficulty, not something passively received.
• Embrace failures and setbacks as necessary steps toward growth and self-assurance.
• Impress yourself; let pride in your own honest effort be the foundation of your confidence.

---

Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:33 — Opening insight: where confidence comes from
• 03:13 — The importance of impressing yourself
• 03:55 — How Dr. Laura chooses activities by enjoyment, not just ability
• 04:31 – 05:38 — On setbacks, failure, and growth
• 08:17 — Churchill quote and the power of perseverance
• 09:02 — Holding her book galley: the joy of real achievement
• 09:23 – 09:47 — The limits of external validation and the necessity of self-earned confidence

---

Episode Tone

Empowering, direct, practical, and no-nonsense—Dr. Laura communicates with her trademark straightforward style, encouraging listeners to take responsibility for their own growth and happiness.

---

A rich, engaging exploration on building confidence—the Dr. Laura way.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Ladies.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Ad Read)]

If you're in that phase where your body's just doing new things, sleep's weird, energy's weird, cravings also weird, you're not alone. It's totally normal. Menopause and perimenopause just means your body needs a little support. And sprouts makes that support easier so you can start feeling more like you. Tons of fresh organic produce for fiber, sprouts, protein and creatine to keep your muscles and bones strong and your energy up. And stretch. Supplements that can help you manage mood shifts. So whether it's perimenopause, menopause, or any other health journey, it's easier at sprouts. Farmer's Market.

[Pacific Life Announcer]

Confidence. It's listening to your gut. It's moving forward, even when the path ahead is unclear. For nearly 160 years, Pacific Life has helped people keep their promises, building confidence for generations. Whether you're confident in your financial future or just beginning to envision it, we're here to help. Ask a financial professional how Pacific Life the power of a promise Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska. And in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Ad Read)]

Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals. Helping everyday investors protect what they've worked so hard to build by adding gold and silver to retirement portfolios. Learn [e-mail] Protect Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail]

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

how do you build confidence now? Most of you think it comes just period.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Ad Read)]

It just comes from people patting you

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

on the head, getting rewards, telling you you're wondering. It doesn't work that way. Have you ever had the feeling, you know, you've done something, made something, whatever, and people around you are going, ooh, Ah. And you're just staring at them because, you know, mmm. Was it my best? I didn't have my heart into it. It's not that you're being pathologically negative, it's just that, you know, compliments not based on anything makes snowflakes. That's why it's terrible thing that all these little sports teams for little kids give trophies out to everybody because it means nothing to anybody. And when you're a little kid, you're almost limitless in confidence because you're fearless. I mean, jumping off the couch into a puddle of water just seems like a good idea. When you start going to school and the competition hits and some people are better and some aren't, Aw. Gets a Little curious. You know what I've always said on this program and I will constantly say forever, confidence and self esteem largely comes from you impressing yourself. Talked to a lady yesterday, she was a businesswoman, but here she is at 68. Am I too old? Am I too dumb? Am I not good enough? Because she wanted to have some new adventures, but she was looking at all the negatives like it wasn't going to be perfect. And I said, perfect is not what you should be going for. The passion of it is what you should be going for. The reason I have about 10 different activities that I juggle is because I enjoy them. In any activity I have, where the enjoyment goes away, I don't do whether I'm good at it or not. That's the important part. To bring joy into your life by challenge. If you love something and have difficult times with it, that's how you grow confidence. When you climb over the mountain, you don't find self esteem from the outside. It comes from you. You working through difficulties, you forcing yourself to work on challenging situations, pushing yourself. And then when you turn around and look at yourself, you go, I am the bomb.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Ad Read)]

Now.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

There is absolutely no activity without setbacks and disappointments and failures as many new things just require trial and error. And I've tried certain things and it's failed and I tried to learn something from it so I wouldn't repeat it. Nobody's perfect when you force yourself out of your comfort zone because you know, a lot of people just they don't understand. They're looking for the joy in life. They avoid challenges. They don't like failing like there are people who do. They've absorbed criticism instead of appraising it. So they just coast through life. It's ultimately confining and life gets boring like that and you don't grow in self esteem and feeling confident.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Ad Read)]

As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health. Health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources provided by Lilly. Here's some common sense advice. Your body needs support to function properly, including your vaginal health, and that includes maintaining a healthy PH balance. New Azo Vaginal Probiotic Mini Chews helps keep that healthy bacterial balance and that helps keep yeast and odor in check. It's great tasting, easy to take, and no pill means no water. That makes it simple to add to your daily routine. And simplicity is how good habits stick. Visit eizoproducts.com for product details, usage instructions, and safety information.

[Amazon Health AI Announcer]

Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts I

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I can't stop scratching my downtown. Mm, yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud.

[Amazon Health AI Announcer]

There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI, chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24. 7 Health care just got less painful

[Discover Card Announcer]

it's smart to always have a few financial goals and a really smart one. You can set earning cash back on what you buy every day. And with Discover you can get this Discover automatically matches all the cash back you've earned at the end of your first year. Seriously, all of it. And we trust you to make smart decisions. After all, you listen to this show, see [e-mail] credit card for my family,

[Eggland's Best Announcer]

I'm always at my best. That's why I also want the best in my kitchen. And that means only Eggland's best eggs. They're always so fresh tasting and delicious, with 6 times more vitamin D, 10 times more vitamin E, and 25% less saturated fat than ordinary eggs. So why give your family less when they can have the best Egglands best? Better taste, better nutrition, better eggs. For added convenience, look for our hard cooked, peeled eggs.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And in terms of failures, there's a quote you've probably read a million times from my hero Churchill. He wrote, if you're going through hell, keep going. I love that this is one brilliant man who saved Britain in World War II from Nazi Germany, but it's a brilliant statement. If you're going through hell right now, keep walking, keep moving and you'll be out of it. So don't look for somebody to pat you on the head. I've gotten plenty of awards and this and that and the other thing. They didn't give me self esteem. They didn't give me confidence. Truthfully, it was nice. It's nice to earn an award and get it. It's nice. But more important is when you're for example, I would write a book and then the galley would be sent to me and I would walk around the house holding the galley, looking at it going, I wrote this. I did this. Wow. That's before it even had hardcovers on it. So when you look at what you've accomplished and what it took to get there. That's how you build esteem and confidence. You got to earn it even from yourself, because the world is not necessarily going to reward you for things well done. This is not that kind of a world. I'm sure there is one somewhere, but this ain't it. Meiner 1-800-375-2872 check out my social media

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Ad Read)]

on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram SiriusXM Triumph is life

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger Promo Announcer]

presenting you with challenges? Get real answers with Dr. Laurel. Call 1-800- Dr. Laura no nonsense advice

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

about relationships, marriage, kids, Tough love. It happened is not a phrase anybody uses when they take responsibility.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger Promo Announcer]

Inspiration.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Every time you go to bed with a negative thought, you have to match it up with a positive one. That's your new rule.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger Promo Announcer]

Dr. Laura Weekdays at 2pm east on Sirius XM Triumph 123 and on the SiriusXM app.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Ad Read)]

As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources

[Amazon Health AI Announcer]

provided by Lily Amazon Health AI presents

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Painful Thoughts why did I search the

[Pacific Life Announcer]

Internet for answers to my cold sore problem? Now I'm stuck down a rabbit hole filled with images of alarmingly graphic sores in various stages of ooze. I can clear my search history, but I can never unsee that.

[Amazon Health AI Announcer]

Don't go down the rabbit hole. Amazon Health AI gets you the right care fast. Healthcare just got less painful.