
Dee is seeking reassurance that she is making the right choice by not allowing her daughter, husband, and their children to move into her home. She is carefully considering the possible emotional, financial, and personal impact while trying to protect her peace, stability, and overall well-being. Got a dilemma? Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com - Listen to The Dr. Laura Program daily on SiriusXM Triumph 123.
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Dr. Laura
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Caller Dee
Yes. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call.
Dr. Laura
You're very welcome.
Caller Dee
I'm calling because I want to know if I made the right decision about a situation. Okay. And would you like some background first? Okay. So my daughter and her husband and their four daughters live in the same town. They live in a house that my aunt, her great aunt left to them. So they have no mortgage payment. She works from home. They. They want to move because the schools are bad. And a few other reasons, but the schools being bad, the main one, and I support this. So they, again, they own their own house. They are. They are messy. They don't keep their house picked up like I would like. And so what my daughter asked me was could they need to make renovations to their house and repairs and could they stay with me or would I sign a co loan? Co as a co signer on a loan? Either one of those. And I said no co sign on
Dr. Laura
a loan for what?
Caller Dee
For a new house. They. Yeah, they, they want to. I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous. They want to move from their house to get their kids in a new school system. And also the son in law had his own business which he sold before they applied for the alone. They did not qualify for the loan.
Dr. Laura
So why did they qualify for the loan?
Caller Dee
What they told me was my daughter was out of work three months in 20 because she had their their youngest child. So there was a period of time with you.
Dr. Laura
You buy that story that that's why they don't get along. As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources provided by Lilly Life doesn't have to be so complicated. Walmart helps you simplify. They're your one stop Shop for daily essentials like groceries, snacks, school supplies and thanks to Walmart Pharmacy, you can count on them for your prescription needs too. Use the Walmart app to easily manage your family's medications and save time by getting prescriptions delivered right to your door. Switch your prescriptions to Walmart Pharmacy delivery not available for all prescriptions and exclusions apply Confidence.
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Dr. Laura
Here's some common sense advice. Your body needs support to function properly, including your vaginal health, and that includes maintaining a healthy PH balance. New Azo Vaginal Probiotic Mini choose helps keep that healthy bacterial balance and that helps keep yeast and odor in check. It's great tasting, easy to take, and no pill means no water. That makes it simple to add to your daily routine. And simplicity is how good habits stick. Visit eizoproducts.com for product details, usage instructions and safety information. This is the Chase Sapphire Lounge in Boston. Logan, you got clam chowder in New York, dirty martini over 1300 airport lounges and One card that gets you in Chase Sapphire Reserve now even more rewarding. Learn more@chase.com Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JP Morgan, Chase bank, and a member FDIC, subject to credit approval.
Caller Dee
You know, I'm not sure, but they didn't qualify for a loan is what she had told me, and that was the reason.
Dr. Laura
And so I can understand, right off the top, you're not wanting them to come live with you. That's six people. That's a no. They'll have to make some other plan or renovate. I'm renovating right now. And I'm living in the gym.
Caller Dee
Yep. Yeah.
Dr. Laura
So I know about making yourself uncomfortable when you have to, but the question of the loan. Do you not trust them for some reason?
Caller Dee
No. I mean, I kind of think they should make their own way. She has a pretty good income working from home, so I'm. I have. I knew I didn't want them to stay here, but the co signing on the loan, I kind of thought, well, maybe, you know, they're in their 30s. Maybe they need to be able to make their own way.
Dr. Laura
I'm okay with that. I support that all the time. Yeah. Yeah.
Caller Dee
Okay. Okay. All right. Well, that's.
Dr. Laura
That's makes them unhappy, but, you know, they have to figure it out.
Caller Dee
Okay, so that's. So you think I made the right decision?
Dr. Laura
Honey, I. You don't come to me for the right decision. Here. It's the one you choose.
Caller Dee
Yes, ma'. Am.
Dr. Laura
I don't. I don't know what makes it right. Other people listening would do something different, and for them, that would be right. So we're really looking at. You don't want to risk alone with them because it's a risk.
Caller Dee
Yes.
Dr. Laura
And for whatever reasons your age, your financial status, whatever, you don't want to take the risk. So tell them. I don't want to take the risk. I believe, my dear child, that you have all good intentions, but stuff happens and I don't want to take the risk at this time of my life.
Caller Dee
Right. Yeah.
Dr. Laura
That's fair. Don't worry about. Right. That's fair.
Caller Dee
Fair,
Dr. Laura
yes. It's fair to say you don't want to take a risk?
Caller Dee
Yes. Yes. Yes. Well, I had told her no, and she is. She's not happy with me. She's avoiding me.
Dr. Laura
Of course it's not. When people want something and they don't get it, they get pissy. I get that. I understand that's kind of normal. Bad normal, but normal. But you ought to have said, I'm too old to take that kind of financial risk. I wish you had added that in. But you could always add it in now. You can always add it in now. Yeah, sometimes it's how you explain things, mitigate some of the reaction. Okay, my number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. Sirius XM Triumph Is life presenting you with challenges? Get real answers with Dr. Laura. Call 1-800- Dr. Laura. No nonsense advice about relationships, marriage, kids, Tough love. It happened is not a phrase anybody uses when they take responsibility. Inspiration. Every time you go to bed with a negative thought, you have to manage match it up with a positive one. That's your new rule. Dr. Laura Weekdays at 2pm east on Sirius XM Triumph 123 and on the SiriusXM app. As people age, it's normal to ask what more they could be doing to take care of their health. It's important to be proactive, especially when it comes to your brain health. Don't wait for something to feel off before taking action. Make your next checkup count. Ask your doctor about your risk factors for dementia and a cognitive assessment. Visit brainhealthmatters.com for more information and resources provided by Lily.
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Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: May 30, 2026
This episode centers on the complex choices families face when balancing stability with risk, especially in situations where adult children request financial help from their parents. Dr. Laura takes a call from Dee, a grandmother grappling with whether she made the right decision by refusing to co-sign a mortgage or allow her daughter’s family to stay with her during home renovations. Dr. Laura offers her signature pragmatic, boundary-driven advice, focusing on autonomy, healthy limits, and respecting one’s own comfort, particularly when major life changes or requests could jeopardize personal security.
Dee: "My daughter and her husband and their four daughters live in the same town...They have no mortgage payment...They want to move because the schools are bad...They need to make renovations to their house and repairs, and could they stay with me, or would I sign as a co-signer on a loan?"
— [01:55]
Dee: "I have. I knew I didn't want them to stay here, but the co-signing on the loan, I kind of thought, well, maybe, you know, they're in their 30s. Maybe they need to be able to make their own way."
— [07:16]
Dr. Laura: "I'm okay with that. I support that all the time."
— [07:41]
Dr. Laura: "So tell them, I don't want to take the risk. I believe, my dear child, that you have all good intentions, but stuff happens and I don't want to take the risk at this time of my life."
— [08:23]
Dee: "Well, I had told her no and she is. She's not happy with me. She's avoiding me."
— [09:03]
Dr. Laura: "Of course it's not. When people want something and they don't get it, they get pissy. I get that...Sometimes it's how you explain things, mitigate some of the reaction."
— [09:16]
Dr. Laura: "Honey, you don't come to me for the right decision. Here. It's the one you choose...We’re really looking at—you don't want to risk a loan with them because it's a risk."
— [07:59]
Dr. Laura:
"You don't want to risk a loan with them because it's a risk. For whatever reasons – your age, your financial status, whatever – you don't want to take the risk. So tell them."
— [08:23]
Dr. Laura:
"It's fair to say you don't want to take a risk."
— [08:56]
Dr. Laura:
"When people want something and they don't get it, they get pissy. I get that. I understand that's kind of normal. Bad normal, but normal."
— [09:16]
Dr. Laura’s candor about family dynamics:
When explaining why Dee's daughter might be avoiding her, Dr. Laura cuts through guilt with straight talk:
"When people want something and they don't get it, they get pissy..."
Emphasis on autonomy:
Dr. Laura doesn’t present herself as the ultimate judge but instead validates Dee’s right to act in her own interests, a theme consistent across her advice.
Guidance on communicating boundaries:
Dr. Laura suggests that sometimes “how you explain things mitigates some of the reaction,” urging callers to be both clear and compassionate in delivering tough news.
Overall Tone:
Supportive, candid, direct, with Dr. Laura’s trademark blend of no-nonsense advice and underlying compassion.
Best For:
Anyone struggling with maintaining boundaries in family matters—especially around financial obligations or lifestyle changes.