
Clyde didn't have loving, caring parents, but somehow managed to make a good life for himself. Searching for advice? Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com
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Dr. Laura
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Clyde, welcome to the program.
Clyde
Hi, Dr. Laura. Very nice to hear you.
Dr. Laura
Thank you. What can I do for you?
Clyde
I just have a unresolved issue. Like, my dad recently just passed away and when I was a kid, he would always. I don't know, he always beat me up and put me down.
Dr. Laura
Clyde. Clyde. Did you call because you thought we could resolve it after he's dead?
Clyde
No, just to how, like, I don't know why he would push me away after him dying and still not wanting to see me.
Dr. Laura
Because he's not a nice man, doesn't let people close. He has terrible guilt for how he behaved. Is that enough of a list or do you want more?
Clyde
Yeah. And how my brother and my sister kept me away from him for his wishes. Like. I don't know, I'm just. I don't know. I guess I never got closure.
Dr. Laura
I guess there isn't any closure. There are things we will never understand. There are things we'll never be happy to accept. He was a difficult, confused, not very nice person. And violent.
Clyde
Yes, totally right.
Dr. Laura
So frankly, he's dead. Sorry. It was very hard growing up for you. Would you say you're a pretty good guy who's doing reasonably well in life?
Clyde
Yeah, I think I'm doing pretty good now.
Dr. Laura
Well, look at that.
In spite of how he was not a good dad, you pulled yourself up anyway, despite that, he was not a good dad. But your Brother and sister knew how to play the game with him. You still, on your own, are doing pretty good with your life, frankly. Instead of looking for closure about that because it ain't coming, you should, in my opinion, look at it with great pride that in spite of the shitty stuff you had to deal with, you've done pretty well. And there's more good stuff that you will do in the future instead of thinking about the not very good dad you had.
Clyde
That's awesome. Exactly what I wanted to hear.
Dr. Laura
Well, bless you. Go on and enjoy your life. We're done with him.
Clyde
It's awesome. It's hard like I'm. It's hard like not having a mom and a dad in your life. It's hard on the kids.
Dr. Laura
Yep, it is.
That's why it's all the more remarkable how well you're doing now. Yes, that's right.
Clyde
Thank you very much, Dr. Laura. Thank you very much.
Dr. Laura
You're very welcome. And don't forget that when you have really crappy parents and you're not on drugs and doing all this idiot stuff, maybe you did, then you pulled yourself out of it and now you're building a life. You should be very proud of yourself instead of still agonizing about what a crappy parent you had. I'm sorry, we don't choose our parents. We're gonna take a break. Come back with Your calls at 1-800-375-2872.
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Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Release Date: February 8, 2025
In this episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger engages with listener Clyde, who seeks guidance dealing with unresolved emotions surrounding his deceased father's abusive behavior. The conversation delves into themes of personal growth, overcoming a troubled past, and finding self-worth despite familial challenges.
Clyde initiates the call by expressing turmoil over his relationship with his late father. He reveals that his father was physically and emotionally abusive during his childhood, leading to lasting emotional scars. Despite his father's recent passing, Clyde grapples with feelings of abandonment and a lack of closure.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"I guess I never got closure." – Clyde [02:21]
Dr. Laura empathizes with Clyde's pain, acknowledging the complexity and depth of his unresolved feelings. She emphasizes that some aspects of their relationships may never be fully understood or reconciled. Instead of focusing on the negativity associated with his father, Dr. Laura encourages Clyde to recognize his resilience and the positive strides he has made in his life.
Key Advice:
Notable Quotes:
“Instead of looking for closure... you should... look at it with great pride that in spite of the shitty stuff you had to deal with, you've done pretty well.” – Dr. Laura [02:55]
“That's all the more remarkable how well you're doing now.” – Dr. Laura [04:03]
“Maybe you did... and now you're building a life. You should be very proud of yourself instead of still agonizing about what a crappy parent you had.” – Dr. Laura [04:18]
Dr. Laura concludes the conversation by reinforcing the importance of self-appreciation and moving forward. She underscores Clyde's achievements and the positive path he has carved for himself, offering closure by shifting the focus from his father's shortcomings to his own strengths and future potential.
Final Takeaway:
Notable Quote:
“You should be very proud of yourself instead of still agonizing about what a crappy parent you had.” – Dr. Laura [04:18]
This episode serves as a powerful reminder of the human capacity to overcome adversity. Dr. Laura's compassionate yet straightforward approach provides listeners like Clyde with actionable advice to reframe their narratives, celebrate their progress, and continue striving for a fulfilling life despite past hardships.
For more insights and personalized advice, tune in to Dr. Laura Schlessinger's daily radio program exclusively on SiriusXM Triumph 111 or visit DrLaura.com.