Episode Overview

Title: Cold Feet Lead You Nowhere
Date: December 2, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Guest/Caller: Michael

In this episode, Dr. Laura takes a heartfelt call from Michael, who candidly shares his tumultuous upbringing, struggles with commitment, and fears about marriage after multiple failed engagements. The discussion centers on personal growth versus emotional barriers, with Dr. Laura offering her signature direct advice on responsibility, love, and maturity within relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Michael’s Challenging Family Background (02:43 – 07:27)

• Michael recounts a childhood marked by instability:

  • Born in 1982 to parents battling drug addiction.
  • Lived in several states (New York, North Carolina, Texas, Indiana, Florida) due to family upheavals.
  • Saw his father only every seven years, with their relationship mostly absent until his father’s terminal illness.

• Quote:
  "Every seven years we'll say I seen my dad... He just passed away this year... First time he ever told me he loved me was about two years ago when he was diagnosed with colon cancer." (04:12–05:10, Michael)

• Dr. Laura reacts with empathy and surprise:

  • "You couldn't make this up fast enough. Oh, God." (03:52, Dr. Laura)

2. Struggles with Commitment and Failed Engagements (06:24 – 12:08)

• Michael describes being engaged three times by age 35, but never marrying:

  • His first engagement (to his child's mother) ended after a heated argument that led to public humiliation and the loss of the engagement ring.
  • He admits issues of immaturity and temper in his youth.
  • The second and third engagements ended similarly, though he glosses over specifics.

• Quote:
  "I've been engaged three times. Three times. I tried three times to get married because in my mind, that's what I felt strongly I needed to be with the Christian unity mindset." (06:24, Michael)

• Dr. Laura probes the real reasons for each breakup, emphasizing maturity and emotional readiness:

  • "You were both way too young. But what did you fight about in front of other people?" (11:03, Dr. Laura)

3. Current Relationship & Fear of Marriage (12:08 – 14:05)

• Michael has been with his current partner for seven years:

  • He openly confides his fear of commitment despite personal growth and stability.
  • "I'm just scared to get married. But I do. I would like to get married. I've changed a lot." (12:08, Michael)

• Dr. Laura delivers tough love:

  • She challenges Michael on his reluctance, calling out his self-centeredness and "using up" of his partner’s time and love.
  • "You're taking up her time, her life, her heart, her soul, her body, her orgasms, yours. But, oh, because you know, I understand there was so little stability in your life. But you're a grown man now. Stability isn't going to happen to you. It's something you make happen." (12:19–13:04, Dr. Laura)

4. Dr. Laura’s Call to Honor and Responsibility (13:04 – 14:43)

• Theme of honor as a measure of maturity and love:
  • Dr. Laura insists Michael embrace the responsibilities of adulthood and create stability, rather than waiting for it to happen.
  • She asserts that true Christianity and manhood require commitment and honor, not self-preservation.
• Quote:
  "Stability is something you create by making a commitment and honoring it. The word honor to me has always been tied into what a man is." (13:04–13:24, Dr. Laura)
  • "You found God. Well, you left him by the curb somewhere because you're still catering to yourself... Does that sound very Christian to you? It's all about me making sure I don't get hurt. But I'm going to use her up. You disappoint me, Michael." (13:39–14:05, Dr. Laura)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura: "You couldn't make this up fast enough." (03:52)
• Michael: "First time he ever told me he loved me was about two years ago when he was diagnosed with colon cancer." (05:10)
• Dr. Laura: "Stability isn't going to happen to you. It's something you make happen." (13:04)
• Dr. Laura: "You're taking up her time, her life, her heart, her soul, her body, her orgasms, yours..." (12:19)
• Dr. Laura: "You found God. Well, you left him by the curb somewhere because you're still catering to yourself..." (13:39)
• Michael: "So I jump off the cliff and just... do it in honor of..." (14:24)
• Dr. Laura: "No, that's correct." (14:36)

Timeline of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | Summary | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------|----------------------------------------------------------| | 02:43 | Michael’s Family Background | Absent parents, frequent moves, instability and loss. | | 04:41 | Father's Death | First expression of love from his dying father. | | 06:24 | Three Failed Engagements | Michael's attempts and failures at commitment. | | 09:50 | Story of First Engagement/Breakup | Argument, immaturity, loss of the engagement ring. | | 12:08 | Current Relationship and Fears | Seven-year relationship, fear of marriage. | | 12:19–14:05| Dr. Laura Tough Love on Commitment and Honor | Direct challenge to Michael’s self-preservation. | | 14:24 | Michael’s Realization and Commitment | Michael considers truly committing to his partner. | | 14:43 | Dr. Laura Affirms Michael’s Maturity | Encouragement to make the leap and embrace adulthood. |

Tone & Language

Dr. Laura maintains her signature blend of empathy and no-nonsense directness, balancing understanding of Michael’s traumatic past with a refusal to let those traumas dictate his future adult choices. The conversation is intimate, intense, and brutally honest.

Conclusion

This episode powerfully demonstrates how unresolved childhood wounds can echo into adult relationships. Dr. Laura cuts through self-justification to urge Michael—and listeners—to grow up, honor commitments, and create the stability we all seek. Her tough love serves both as a personal wake-up call and broader lesson on the cost of “cold feet” in life and love.