Complaining Has No Power

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day - "Complaining Has No Power"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Description: Consistently ranked as the most listened-to podcast in Kids & Family and Parenting, Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility. With over four decades of experience, her daily radio program reaches millions of listeners weekly on SiriusXM Triumph 111.
• Episode: Complaining Has No Power
• Release Date: July 6, 2025

---

Introduction

In the July 6, 2025 episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," titled "Complaining Has No Power," Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into the detrimental effects of constant complaining and emphasizes the importance of taking proactive steps to address personal and relational challenges. The episode features a heartfelt call from Lisa, a returning listener seeking guidance on her strained marriage.

Caller Background

At [00:31], Dr. Laura welcomes Lisa back to the program:

Dr. Laura: "Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Lisa, welcome to the program."

Lisa, emotional and anxious, expresses her concerns about her marriage, hinting at past advice from Dr. Laura that had significant impact:

Lisa: "I am a returned caller and I am hoping that you won't slice me, dice me and stab me in the heart like you did last time. But if I need it, if I..."
[00:45]

Discussion of Marital Issues

Lisa outlines the complexities within her marriage, highlighting issues of communication and intimacy. She recounts how previous advice led her to confront her husband about their lack of intimacy and his inappropriate online behavior:

Lisa: "We've been working on communication. He's deleted some of his ladies there on the Facebook and not all of them. Then I fussed at him. So then he got back on there and did it again...We've been doing really, really good as far as the intimacy and, and what have you."
[01:10] - [03:00]

She further explains her husband's potential medical issues, which have added strain to their relationship:

Lisa: "He's got this possible medical problem coming up. They found something, some blood in his urine. So he's thinking the bad stuff. And I said, well, you know, we need to get on this and I'm going to hold your hand and we're going to do it together."
[02:50]

The situation escalates when Lisa discovers unsettling evidence of her husband's behavior:

Lisa: "I walk into the bedroom...his phone's there, the lube's there, and his glasses are there and he's in the shower. So I wait, didn't say anything, wait till he came out of the shower. And I said, what's this? And he goes, oh, I was just checking to see if I had a little blood in my ejaculate. And I said, what?"
[03:59]

Dr. Laura's Guidance

Dr. Laura quickly intervenes to steer the conversation towards actionable advice:

Dr. Laura: "Okay, can I stop you, Lisa? What is it you're hoping to get from me today?"
[03:59]

When Lisa shares her confusion over their improved communication yet ongoing issues, Dr. Laura emphasizes the futility of constant complaining:

Dr. Laura: "You don't have to understand. You don't have to understand...Life doesn't have to be so complicated."
[04:36]

She challenges Lisa to focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems:

Dr. Laura: "So saying I don't understand things is to avoid dealing with them... People are who they are and they do what they do. And so I ask you again, what did you hope I could help you with?"
[06:13]

Lisa expresses her desire for her husband to communicate better, to which Dr. Laura bluntly advises:

Dr. Laura: "If you stay married, stop bitching about to me. That's the most important part of this call."
[08:02]

She underscores the importance of taking concrete actions instead of venting frustrations:

Dr. Laura: "Stop complaining. Bitching doesn't help anything... Do something concrete. Stop with the bitching, please."
[08:05]

Key Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Dr. Laura reinforces the central theme that complaining is powerless in creating meaningful change. She insists that individuals must take responsibility for their actions and decisions rather than attributing their problems to external factors or others' behaviors.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: "Stop bitching about it. Once you know all the particulars and you choose to stay, stop bitching about it. A, it doesn't make you feel better. B, it doesn't change anything. C, it doesn't make him a better or a different person."
  [08:05]

• Dr. Laura: "What does it do? Bitching doesn't help anything. Blows off a little steam. Do it once, then it's over. Now go do the right thing."
  [09:05]

These statements encapsulate Dr. Laura's philosophy that proactive behavior is essential for resolving personal and relational issues. By redirecting Lisa's focus from complaining to taking decisive actions, Dr. Laura advocates for personal accountability and the empowerment that comes with it.

Conclusion

In "Complaining Has No Power," Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides a candid and straightforward approach to addressing marital problems. By urging listeners like Lisa to move beyond venting and engage in constructive actions, she emphasizes the importance of personal responsibility and effective communication in overcoming challenges. This episode serves as a compelling reminder that while understanding and empathy are valuable, they must be coupled with decisive actions to foster meaningful change in one's personal life.

Transcript

[Lowes Advertisement]

July 4th member only doorbuster deals are on at Lowes right now. Rewards members save $50 on a Select Char Broil 4 burner gas grill now just $149. Plus save over $500 on a Whirlpool Top Load laundry pair now $8.86. Not a rewards member. Sign up for free today. But hurry. These July 4th doorbuster deals won't last long. Lowes we help you Save valid through 77 while supplies last program subject to terms and conditions. Details@lowe's.com Terms subject to change.

[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Lisa welcome to the program.

[Lisa]

I am returned caller and I am hoping that you won't slice me, dice me and stab me in the heart like you did last time. But if I need it, if I.

[Dr. Laura]

Sliced, diced and stabbed you through the heart, why are you calling?

[Lisa]

Because I need more advice. Your advice worked. Kicks me in the pants where I need to kick the pants.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, what did you do to make the situation that you called about different?

[Lisa]

Well, I actually went home and when I got home, my emotions just got the best of me and I cried. And I told my husband, I said, I called Dr. Laura. He said, you did what? I said, yeah. He goes, I never dreamed you ever would. And I told him, and I said, we've gotta work on getting our marriage back on track. And we had a sexless marriage and you kind of drugged me all over the place about what? I'd rather him go to prostitutes instead of self enjoying himself with pornographic stuff and what have you. But so we've been working on communication. He's deleted some of his ladies there on the Facebook and not all of them. Then I fussed at him. So then he got back on there and did it again, got rid of some more. He had to get some help to do it. But we talked about communication, which is very strong. You know, we've always had problems with communication. So this just brings something new that came up. We've been doing really, really good as far as the intimacy and, and what have you. He told me, he said he's not gonna push me. You know, once a week's fine, twice a week's great, whatever, you know, so we just have relations two nights before this happened and I had said that my boundary, well, our bound, my boundary was, was no form anymore. You know, we need communication and if it's a problem, we need to communicate about it. And, you know, so he agreed. Well, then now he's got this possible medical problem coming up. They found something, some blood in his urine. So he's thinking the bad stuff. And I said, well, you know, we need to get on this and I'm going to hold your hand and we're going to do it together. So, long story short, I have a business out of my home and I had a lot of clients coming Saturday. And he kept asking me, what you doing? What you doing? I had gotten up early that morning, so there's no reason why we couldn't have done whatever we needed to do beforehand. And my first client canceled on me. So I go into the house and I walk into the bedroom. His phone's there, the lube's there, and his glasses are there and he's in the shower. So I wait, didn't say anything, wait till he came out of the shower. And I said, what's this? And he goes, oh, I was just checking to see if I had a little blood in my ejaculate. And I said, what?

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, can I stop you, Lisa? What is it you're hoping to get from me today?

[Lisa]

Well, I just really kind of don't understand. We had really good communication.

[Dr. Laura]

You don't have to understand. You don't have to understand. A lot of people don't understand what makes a hurricane, what makes an earthquake. People don't understand the physics, etc. That doesn't mean they can't deal with it in an intelligent way. Life doesn't have to be so complicated. Walmart helps you simplify. They're your one stop. Shop for daily essentials like groceries, snacks, school supplies. And thanks to Walmart pharmacy, you can count on them for your prescription needs too. Use the Walmart app to easily manage your family's medications and save time by getting prescriptions delivered right to your door. Switch your prescriptions to Walmart Pharmacy delivery not available for all prescriptions and exclusions apply. Did you know that skincare can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor. All Free Clear laundry detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is all free clear.

[Advertisement Speaker]

Now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home by taking advantage of its national red tag sales event going on right now through July 20th. Stop by any of its participating communities and find select red tag homes at Incredible Pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the red tag sales event going on right now. Discover the Dr. Horton Difference at Dr. Horton.com Dr. Horton, America's builder and equal housing opportunity builder Netcredit is here to.

[Lisa]

Say yes because you're more than a credit score. Apply in minutes and get a decision.

[Advertisement Speaker]

As soon as the same day. Loans offered by NetCredit or lending partner.

[Lisa]

Banks and service by NetCredit applications subject.

[Advertisement Speaker]

To review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com partners NetCredit credit.

[Lisa]

To the People.

[Dr. Laura]

So saying I don't understand things is to avoid dealing with them. As though if you understood it somehow you could have control over it and make it be different. People are who they are and they do what they do. And so I ask you again, what did you hope I could help you with?

[Lisa]

I wish he would have communicated with me.

[Dr. Laura]

I wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are. Again, you want to try answering my question? What did you hope I could help you with? Because I don't think I can.

[Lisa]

Well, I just feel like he's crossed a boundary.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, I know, but so what? He crossed a boundary. Now he needs help and you're going to help him. It doesn't matter. None of that really matters.

[Lisa]

What about the marriage part? I mean, what about it?

[Dr. Laura]

You're the one staying. You're the one staying. So what about it?

[Lisa]

Should I stay there and a wife?

[Dr. Laura]

I do not, ma'.

[Lisa]

Am. Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

I do not make those decisions.

[Lisa]

Oh, my goodness. I was wishing so much that she could help me.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, wait a minute. I think I have a coin I could flip. A coin. Damn it. I thought I had a coin. Okay, here it is. Heads are tails. Heads you stay with them, tails you leave.

[Lisa]

Pick one.

[Dr. Laura]

You want me to flip it?

[Lisa]

No, ma'. Am.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, that means you want to stay. So my advice to women who want to stay is stop bitching about it. Just stay and make the best of it. But I don't understand bitching about it. Once you know all the particulars and you choose to stay, stop bitching about it. A, it doesn't make you feel better. B, it doesn't change anything. C, it doesn't make him a better or a different person. None of it. It has no power. So stop complaining.

[Lisa]

But it just destroyed me.

[Dr. Laura]

Stop you're not destroyed. You're on the phone being ridiculous, so you're not destroyed.

[Lisa]

Okay? So I need to suck it up and either decide if I want to stay married or not.

[Dr. Laura]

If you stay married, stop bitching about to me. That's the most important part of this call.

[Lisa]

Did I go back to him and say, hey, we really need to work on this communication? Let me stab you.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm laughing. You communicate just fine. You just don't like what you find out. Okay, lesson for today, stop bitching. Do something concrete. Stop with the bitching, please. Yeah, what does it do? Bitching doesn't help anything. Blows off a little steam. Do it once, then it's over. Now go do the right thing. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

[Advertisement Speaker]

Now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home by taking advantage of its national red tag sales event going on right now through July 20th. Stop by any of its participating communities and find select red tag homes at incredible pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the red tag sales event going on right now. Discover the Dr. Horton Difference at Dr. Horton.com Dr. Horton America's Builder and Equal Housing Opportunity builder.