Confident, Comfortable, Strong

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Confident, Comfortable, Strong" Dr. Laura Call of the Day with Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM Release Date: May 28, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a listener named Julie who is grappling with recurring panic attacks triggered by difficult work relationships. The discussion delves into the root causes of Julie's anxiety and provides actionable strategies to overcome these challenges, promoting confidence, comfort, and strength.

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Listener's Concern: Recurring Panic Attacks at Work

[00:35] Julie: "About two years ago I had a high-level job and I had kind of a... what I would call a mean boss. He's from Eastern Europe and he's got this harsh voice and he came at me and berated me for a solid 45 minutes. After that, I started having some panic attacks in the morning, especially if I knew I was going to have a call with him. I thought I was going to be fired. I had all this crazy stuff in my head, and it went away."

Julie recounts her experience of dealing with a tyrannical boss who subjected her to prolonged verbal abuse, leading to severe anxiety and panic attacks. Despite addressing the issue with Human Resources (HR), the underlying problem resurfaced two years later with a demanding client, reigniting her panic attacks.

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Dr. Laura's Initial Analysis: Identifying the Root Cause

[01:39] Dr. Laura: "You know what's not true? You could have been fired and it was just. Okay, may I just interject for a moment?"

Dr. Laura challenges Julie's perception of vulnerability, suggesting that her panic attacks are a manifestation of her own weakness rather than external threats. She emphasizes personal accountability, indicating that Julie's inability to effectively handle the situation contributed to her ongoing anxiety.

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Advice on Seeking Support and Taking Action

[03:23] Dr. Laura: "Your weakness kept you from finding out the follow through. Now, let me describe a kitty cat... And you went to HR and didn't follow through. You didn't take care of yourself like a kitty cat would."

Using the metaphor of a "kitty cat," Dr. Laura underscores the importance of self-protection and assertiveness. She criticizes Julie for not fully leveraging HR's support and not taking decisive action to safeguard her well-being.

[06:56] Dr. Laura: "And don't tell them in advance what the meeting's about. Just call the meeting. And then at the meeting, say we're meeting today because I must... Confident, comfortable, strong."

Dr. Laura provides a concrete strategy for Julie to address her issues directly with her boss and the difficult client. She advises Julie to hold a meeting without prior notice, assertively communicate her dissatisfaction with the client's behavior, and request a reassignment. The mantra "Confident, comfortable, strong" serves as a focal point for Julie to embody the necessary demeanor during this confrontation.

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Listener's Response and Commitment to Action

[07:33] Julie: "Okay, I wrote that down. Confident, comfortable, strong. Love that."

[08:03] Julie: "With that, I like that. You said I'm attacking myself instead of them, right? Okay, I know what I need to do now. That's what I'm going to do."

Julie expresses immediate appreciation for Dr. Laura's advice, recognizing the shift from internalizing her stress to actively addressing the external sources of her anxiety. She commits to implementing the suggested approach, signaling a proactive step toward overcoming her panic attacks.

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Conclusion: Embracing Confidence and Strength

Dr. Laura reinforces the importance of maintaining composure and confidence throughout the process. By adopting a strong and assertive stance, Julie can effectively manage her interactions with difficult individuals, thereby eliminating the triggers for her panic attacks.

[08:18] Dr. Laura: "Excellent. With a smile the whole time. And that'll be the end of your panic attacks right there."

Dr. Laura concludes the session with encouragement, affirming that Julie's empowered approach will lead to the cessation of her anxiety episodes.

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Key Takeaways

• Personal Accountability: Recognize and address personal weaknesses that contribute to anxiety.
• Assertive Communication: Directly confront problematic behavior in the workplace with confidence.
• Proactive Problem-Solving: Take decisive action rather than relying solely on institutional support like HR.
• Empowerment Mantra: Adopt affirmations like "Confident, comfortable, strong" to bolster self-assurance.

This episode underscores the significance of self-empowerment and assertiveness in overcoming workplace-induced anxiety, providing listeners with practical tools to foster resilience and personal strength.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX. Julie, welcome to the program.

[Julie]

Thanks. Dr. Laura, I'm so happy to talk with you.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you. What's happening?

[Julie]

Well, about two years ago I have a high level job and about two years ago I have kind of a. What I would call a mean boss. He's from Eastern Europe and he's got this harsh voice and he came at me for, and berated me for a solid 45 minutes. And after that I started having some panic attacks in the morning. Especially if I knew I was going to, you know, have a call with him. Well, I thought I was going to be fired. I had all this stuff, crazy stuff in my head and it went away. And now fast forward two years and here we are again. But this time it's because I have a mean client. So now I'm. The panic attacks are starting every morning again. So it's seems to be a connection of some person in power that's mean to me, throws me into panic attacks. Logically, I know none of it's true. The voice in my head is just, you know, you're going to be fired.

[Dr. Laura]

You know what's not true? You could have been fired and it was just. Okay, may I just interject for a moment?

[Julie]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

It's your weakness that's resulting in panic attacks.

[Julie]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

After an attack. After an attack as you described, for 45 minutes, I would have gone to HR or an attorney.

[Julie]

Yeah, I did go to HR, but, you know, not an attorney. But I should have taken.

[Dr. Laura]

And what did HR do? Okay, we can't talk at the same time because then neither one of us can hear the other. Are you aware of that?

[Julie]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, so slow down. What happened in hr?

[Julie]

I took it to them. I don't know if they spoke with him or not. He did get a little bit nicer.

[Dr. Laura]

Stop. God, I shouldn't have to say stop three times. I really shouldn't. Come on. Your weakness kept you from finding out the follow through. Now, let me describe a kitty cat. Kitty cats are so sweet and cute when they're scared and backed up against a wall, their back humps up, they hiss and their claws come out. And you went to AR and didn't follow through. You didn't take care of yourself like a kitty cat would.

[Julie]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Now you've got a situation where you've got somebody who is being rude or inappropriate with you in some way. And instead of becoming a kitty cat, you have panic attacks. You attack yourself.

[Julie]

Hmm.

[Dr. Laura]

So yeah, you need to sit down with your boss and that particular client and say, this is the behavior that I find unacceptable. Perhaps you could find somebody, my boss, you could find somebody else to handle this particular client. With the client right there, you won't have panic attacks. Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor All Free Clear Laundry Detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free Clear. When Skechers says they've revolutionized how you put on and take off your shoes, they aren't kidding. I just got my first pair of Hands Free Skechers slip ins and I want them in every color. You literally just step into your Skechers slip ins and they're on. No bending, no struggling. They're fantabulous. I came up with that word. Feet gently slide in thanks to an invisible built in shoehorn. A heel pillow feature keeps your foot secure. Slip ins come in athletic and casual styles for men, women and kids. They even have sandals with special features and fits like Skechers Air Cooled Memory Foam Arch Fit, Relaxed Fit Wide Fit. Once your feet have experienced Hands Free Sketcher slip ins, they won't want to wear any other shoe. They certainly exceeded my expectations. You can find [e-mail] DrLaura or Skechers.com use the promo code DrLaura. Valid for 20% off site. Wide standard exclusions apply. Valid March 5 through May 30, 2025. For 140 years, MultiCare has been in Washington prioritizing long term solutions, partnering with local communities and expanding access to care. Together, we're building a healthier future.

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[Julie]

I think that's exactly right. I knew you could help me in one call. Or I could do three years of therapy.

[Dr. Laura]

That's cute, right? Oh, damn. You're probably right. Okay, so you're ready now to call a meeting between that client and your boss.

[Julie]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

And don't tell them in advance what the meeting's about. Just call the meeting.

[Julie]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

And then at the meeting, say we're meeting today. Because I must. I think I should be replaced as this client's whatever. Whatever you are. Because I think this client is not happy with me. Because this client behaves in this way. So if this client's not happy with me, let's get them somebody else to work with them. Confident, comfortable, strong.

[Julie]

Okay, I wrote that down. Confident, comfortable, strong.

[Dr. Laura]

Right?

[Julie]

Love that.

[Dr. Laura]

And nice with a smile on your face. Just like the woman who called me the bad name on the street. I smiled. That took the wind out of her sails. People who behave like that are expecting you to cave or go insane. And I didn't either. I won.

[Julie]

With that. I like that. You said I'm attacking myself instead of them, right? Okay, I know what I need to do now. That's what I'm going to do.

[Dr. Laura]

Excellent. With a smile the whole time. And that'll be the end of your panic attacks right there. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com Click on Sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you. If your small business has a problem, you could say, just my luck. But you should say, like a good.

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