Dee is Being a Silly Female

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "Dee is Being a Silly Female" Release Date: June 9, 2025

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Introduction

In the June 9, 2025 episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," hosted by Dr. Laura Schlessinger on SiriusXM Triumph 111, a listener named Dee reaches out seeking advice on a complicated personal relationship. This episode delves into themes of friendship, romantic entanglements, personal responsibility, and the challenges of navigating friends-with-benefits arrangements.

Caller’s Dilemma

Dee initiates the conversation by outlining her long-standing friendship with a man who has been her protector since childhood. Over the years, both experienced significant personal losses: Dee lost her husband four years ago, and her friend lost his wife twenty years prior. Following these tragedies, their relationship evolved into a friends-with-benefits arrangement.

Dee explains:

"We decided that we would be friends with benefits. But what happened was that he still does not want any type of relationship. He just wants the benefit. I happen to fall in love with him."
[00:38 – 01:46]

Dr. Laura's Initial Response

Dr. Laura responds with directness, challenging Dee's emotional investment in the relationship. She questions whether Dee is acting irrationally by expecting her friend to change his stance on their relationship.

Dr. Laura states:

"It doesn't matter what you want or how you feel. He's been clear. So are you going to be a silly woman and figure you can change his mind?"
[01:55 – 02:09]

Navigating Mixed Signals and Emotional Conflict

As the conversation progresses, Dee reveals that her friend's interactions with other women have sparked feelings of jealousy, even though he maintains the friends-with-benefits status.

Dee shares:

"But what happened was that he has other friends also and they're best friends and I end up showing jealousy. But I never said to him that."
[05:14 – 05:25]

Dr. Laura counters with skepticism about the authenticity of the friend's claims, suggesting that men in his position often avoid full transparency to prevent emotional complications.

Dr. Laura advises:

"Don't count on that to be the truth...You might not see him. He eliminates all that grief. He's never going to be your man."
[05:58 – 06:40]

Evaluating Personal Choices and Self-Responsibility

Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of Dee taking responsibility for her own emotional well-being, rather than relying on her friend's ambiguous intentions.

She bluntly states:

"Women like you lie to themselves all the time that it's okay to be a friend with benefits. It is the rare woman who means that."
[06:43 – 07:09]

When pressed for clarification, Dr. Laura urges Dee to make a definitive choice: continue the friends-with-benefits arrangement or terminate it to avoid ongoing emotional turmoil.

Dr. Laura emphasizes:

"You have to decide which is more hurtful. Staying with him and being his hump buddy and never moving from that, or doing the silly female thing of, yeah, well, maybe someday."
[07:54 – 08:46]

Conclusion

By the end of the episode, Dee remains conflicted about her feelings and the future of her relationship. Dr. Laura's forthright approach serves as a catalyst for Dee to introspect and consider the long-term implications of maintaining a non-committal relationship that neither party fully desires.

Final Exchange:

Caller: "I don't know which way I want to go."
[07:45 – 07:54]
Dr. Laura: "You can never have him. So you have to decide..."
[07:54 – 08:46]

Dr. Laura wraps up by reinforcing the importance of personal accountability and making empowered choices, encouraging listeners to prioritize their emotional health over unfulfilling relationships.

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Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: "Are you going to be a silly woman and figure you can change his mind?"
  [01:55]

• Dr. Laura: "Women like you lie to themselves all the time that it's okay to be a friend with benefits."
  [06:43]

• Dr. Laura: "You have to decide which is more hurtful..."
  [07:54]

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This episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day" offers candid and unfiltered advice, encouraging listeners to confront their emotional realities and make decisions that foster their personal well-being and integrity.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX. Welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi.

[Caller]

The reason I'm calling is that I am presently involved with a guy. My. My childhood best friend. We've been friends for over 60 some years. He's been my protector ever since I was coming up as a young child. Then later on we continued being friends. He got married, I was married and. And then later on he lost his wife and his. His wife been gone for 20 years now. I lost my husband four years ago. So we decided between that time he had relationship with two other women. One he dated for 12 years and the other one for two years after that. He did not want any type of commitment with anybody at all. So he and I became, you know, intimate with each other. We decided that we would be friends with benefits. But what happened was that he still does not want any type of relationship. He just want the benefit. He does not want anything. He does not want, you know, anybody. No more than just friends with benefit. Now I happen to fall in love with him.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, do you need to stop talking for a moment, please? Why are you even going on? It doesn't matter what you want.

[Caller]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

Doesn't matter what you want or how you feel. He's been clear. So are you going to be a silly woman and figure you can change his mind?

[Caller]

No, I don't want to change his mind.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, so you don't. So you want to stay friends with benefits?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

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[Dr. Laura]

Well the. What's the? I misunderstood then. If all it doesn't matter if you're in love with him. If I were you, I wouldn't bother to tell him that he might terminate the relationship and I didn't.

[Caller]

But what happened was that he has other friends also and they're best friends and I end up showing jealousy. But I never said to him that.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay Dee, what is your question for me?

[Caller]

I just want to know what should I do? I mean, just what do you mean.

[Dr. Laura]

What should you do? Woo hoo. What should you do? About what?

[Caller]

Should I just terminate the friends with benefit?

[Dr. Laura]

It's up to you. Why are you asking? Why are you asking an outside person?

[Caller]

Oh, okay. So it's really up to you.

[Dr. Laura]

If you want to keep humping him while he's humping other women, do it.

[Caller]

Okay, but he's not doing that he's totally. You know, he and I.

[Dr. Laura]

First of all. First of all, dear, don't count on that to be the truth. It certainly doesn't benefit him at all to tell you the truth, if the truth includes sex. So don't assume that's true simply because he says it. He probably imagines, like most men in his position would, that if he told you, you'd be upset, you wouldn't be fun anymore. You might not want to have sex. You might not see him. He eliminates all that grief. He's never going to be your man. If you're okay with that, why are you asking somebody else if you should break up?

[Caller]

I don't know.

[Dr. Laura]

I'll tell you. Because women like you lie to themselves all the time that it's okay to be a friend with benefits. It is the rare woman who means that. But it was the only way you could have him.

[Caller]

All right. Okay. Well, thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm not sure what you're thanking me for.

[Caller]

I don't know. I'm just so confused right now. That's all. I'm just confused.

[Dr. Laura]

Confused. Okay, please tell me what's confusing. Tell me what's confusing.

[Caller]

The confusing part of it. And I know I just want to be his friend.

[Dr. Laura]

Just answer the question without going off on a tangent. What is confusing you?

[Caller]

Whether I want to continue that way or just not. That's what's confusing. I'm confusing. I don't know which way I want to go.

[Dr. Laura]

That's not confusion. He's very clear. You want to hump him, do it. You don't want to hump him, fine. Maybe he'll still see you. You've decided you're in love with him. You can never have him. You can never have him. So you have to decide which is more hurtful. Staying with him and being his hump buddy and never moving from that, or doing the silly female thing of, yeah, well, maybe someday. My guess, you're going to continue with the relationship as is.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

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