Transcript
Birch Lane (0:00)
Welcome to Birch Lane, where you can find a fresh take on classic furniture and decor. Every piece is handpicked and crafted to last for years to come. At Birch Lane, you can explore everything from outdoor sets to living room furniture and everything in between and get fast free shipping. It's classic style for joyful living. Shop now@birchlane.com Listen to all my episodes.
Dr. Laura Schlesinger (0:25)
Of Dr. Laura's Deep Dive in your favorite podcast app. Search for Dr. Laura's deep dive podcast and follow my deep dive today. Dr. Laura's deep dive deep dive Dr.
Dr. Laura's Deep Dive Podcast (0:43)
Laura's deep dive Podcast when you see.
Dr. Laura Schlesinger (0:46)
A really adorable old couple and they look like they've been married 120 years, they're all wrinkled, hunched over, walking down the street, holding hands, you may be tempted to think they had some kind of special luck to make it together for that long. No two people are absolutely 100% completely compatible. None. If you were to ask them what the key to their marital success has been, frankly, they likely tell you that they learned to let a lot of stuff go. They endured and maybe even ignored things that weren't going to change. They may have had issues that would lead a lot of today's couples to divorce, but they found a way to work through them. And in this deep dive, I want to teach you how to do the same so you can save your marriage.
Dr. Laura (1:43)
Now, it's sad when two people divorce, period. When there are kids involved, it's a cruel disaster for the children. So it's really important to see if we can pull people back from that brink of divorce and actually have them be happy again. It's amazing what people can pull back from. Want to talk first about some of the contributing factors for divorce? There are some hard reasons to divorce and there are soft reasons, which I think warrant repair, not divorce. But before I go into these motivations, so you sit there and go, okay, I got a hard reason. I'm out of here. I want to talk a little bit about my training. Now. I was trained at usc. I don't know that the training was different anywhere else in the universe. That's an outstanding place to be educated and trained. I have not a complaint. I'm very grateful mentality, though, in general is to sit marital couples down and start talking about all the bad stuff. You know, why you're mad, why you're disappointed, why you're hurt, why you want to leave. And at the beginning of my training, because that was the training, that was the perspective. Let's get to what's wrong and catalog it. And fix it. And what I discovered quickly is that when you start cataloging it, it got worse. Because sitting there in a room, hearing each other bitch, complain, criticize, tear down did not do much for bringing people together. So I got to the point where I started a whole new way of looking at marital therapy. And no, I don't think all marriages should be saved. Some are so destructive or dangerous. No, but that's not the general rule. So I got to the point where I would do the following. I would sit there and look back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And then I would say, okay, let's roll the clock back. How did you meet? What did you think about each other when you first met? What are some of the cute stories? What are some of the funny things? What were some of the little scrapes you get into when you're young and.