Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – Deep Dive: Most Divorce is Unnecessary

Episode Overview

In the June 5, 2025 episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, renowned therapist and radio host Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into the topic of divorce, arguing that the majority of divorces are avoidable. Through insightful discussions, real-life caller stories, and actionable advice, Dr. Laura explores the underlying reasons couples decide to part ways and offers strategies to preserve marriages.

Introduction: The Myth of Marital Compatibility (00:46 – 04:34)

Dr. Laura opens the episode by reflecting on the enduring love of elderly couples, emphasizing that long-lasting marriages aren't a result of perfect compatibility but rather the ability to let go of minor grievances and work through significant issues. She sets the stage for the episode by expressing her intent to teach listeners how to prevent unnecessary divorces.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (00:46): "No two people are absolutely 100% completely compatible. None."

Understanding the Impact of Divorce (04:35 – 08:28)

Dr. Laura underscores the profound sadness of divorce, especially when children are involved, describing it as a "cruel disaster" for the kids. She stresses the importance of salvaging marriages to ensure familial stability and personal happiness.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (02:30): "When there are kids involved, it's a cruel disaster for the children."

Contributing Factors to Divorce (08:28 – 15:06)

Dr. Laura categorizes the reasons for divorce into hard and soft reasons:

• Hard Reasons: Irreparable issues such as chronic affairs, chemical dependencies, gambling, or a partner's unwillingness to change.

• Soft Reasons: Common concerns like unhappiness, growing apart, poor communication, and individual faults.

She emphasizes that soft reasons often warrant repair rather than divorce, encouraging individuals to introspect and take responsibility for their own contributions to marital issues.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (08:28): "There are some hardcore reasons that I think justify a divorce, and then there are the soft reasons."

Caller Story: Tracy's Transformation (08:28 – 11:23)

Tracy shares her personal story of nearly divorcing her husband during the pandemic. Inspired by Dr. Laura's advice, she made a small yet significant change—offering her husband a hug—which transformed their relationship. This simple act of physical touch and emotional support helped them navigate through challenging times together.

Tracy (08:52): "One day I walked in and he was already in that mood and I just walked over and gave him a hug. I swear that changed our lives."

Dr. Laura's Approach to Marital Therapy (11:23 – 14:02)

Dr. Laura critiques traditional marital therapy that focuses on cataloging negative behaviors, which often exacerbates tensions. Instead, she advocates for revisiting the positive aspects of a relationship, such as fond memories and initial attractions, to rekindle love and connection.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (13:00): "We spend an hour starting from the day you met and every wonderful thing that happened."

Further Caller Story: Jack's Divorce Dilemma (15:06 – 19:01)

Jack, a 44-year-old man, calls in distraught about explaining his impending divorce to his children. Dr. Laura listens to his concerns and challenges his perception that he and his wife have "gradually fallen out of love." She argues that such gradual drifting is often a result of complacency and a lack of continuous effort to nurture the marriage.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (16:03): "There's probably no need for this divorce. Yeah, there's probably no need."

She cites research indicating that over 70% of people regret divorcing after five years, highlighting the importance of resolving issues rather than giving up.

Caller Story: Angela's 19-Year Marriage on the Brink (21:27 – 25:31)

Angela seeks advice as she prepares to celebrate her 19th anniversary but feels that communication with her husband has deteriorated over the past five years. Dr. Laura advises her to adopt simple, positive behaviors—such as being nicer, offering compliments, and actively listening—without immediately resorting to conflict.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (22:25): "Why don't you just start the ball rolling and be nicer and never raise your voice."

Angela implements Dr. Laura's suggestions, leading to improved communication and a rejuvenated marital relationship.

Strategies to Prevent Unnecessary Divorce (25:31 – 29:59)

Dr. Laura outlines actionable steps for couples to strengthen their marriages:

1. Positive Communication: Focus on being kind, offering compliments, and actively listening instead of criticizing.
2. Reminiscing Positive Memories: Regularly revisit and cherish fond memories to reinforce emotional bonds.
3. Taking Responsibility: Each partner should acknowledge and address their own faults rather than blaming the other.
4. Consistent Effort: Building and maintaining a happy marriage requires ongoing dedication and intentional actions.

She reiterates that many divorces stem from avoidable issues and that with the right approach, marriages can be saved and even thrive.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts (29:04 – End)

Dr. Laura wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to implement the discussed strategies to enhance their marriages. She emphasizes that small, consistent acts of kindness and communication can create significant positive changes, preventing unnecessary divorces and fostering lasting happiness.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (29:04): "What do you need to change today to make your marriage better? How can you be sweeter?"

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger (00:46): "No two people are absolutely 100% completely compatible. None."

• Tracy (08:52): "I just walked over and gave him a hug. I swear that changed our lives."

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger (16:03): "There's probably no need for this divorce. Yeah, there's probably no need."

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger (22:25): "Why don't you just start the ball rolling and be nicer and never raise your voice."

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger (29:04): "What do you need to change today to make your marriage better? How can you be sweeter?"

Key Takeaways

1. Divorce is Often Preventable: Many marriages dissolve due to solvable issues that can be addressed with effort and positive communication.
2. Importance of Positive Interactions: Simple acts like hugging, complimenting, and reminiscing positive memories can significantly strengthen marital bonds.
3. Taking Personal Responsibility: Each partner must acknowledge their own contributions to marital problems and work towards personal growth.
4. Continuous Commitment: Sustaining a happy marriage requires ongoing dedication, intentional behaviors, and mutual respect.

By focusing on these principles, Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides a roadmap for couples to navigate marital challenges and foster enduring, fulfilling relationships.