Deep Dive: Sexual Healing

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – Deep Dive: Sexual Healing

Release Date: May 15, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
Episode Title: Deep Dive: Sexual Healing

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Introduction to Sex Therapy

[01:31 – 03:56]

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into the realm of sex therapy, emphasizing the importance of addressing sexual issues early in relationships to prevent long-term entrenchment and relational strain. She clarifies common misconceptions about sex therapy, reassuring listeners that it does not involve sexual activities within the office setting.

Dr. Laura: "Don't wait until you have a long-term actual sexual problem in your relationship before you seek help with it. Because stuff, stuff, when it goes on year after year after year after year gets entrenched and oftentimes very hard to reverse."

Dr. Laura explains that sex therapy addresses a variety of issues, including medical treatments, physical disabilities, and histories of sexual abuse, aiming to help individuals feel comfortable and open about their sexual experiences. She also highlights the interconnectedness of sex therapy with marital counseling, noting that sexual problems can often lead to broader marital conflicts.

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Caller Aaron: Enhancing Sexual Communication in Marriage

[03:56 – 08:06]

Caller: Aaron
Issue: Difficulty communicating the importance of his wife's sexual gratification without appearing self-absorbed.

Aaron shares his struggle in expressing his desire to please his wife sexually without making it seem like a performance issue or a reflection of his insecurities. He fears that his attempts to communicate come across poorly, damaging his self-esteem.

Aaron: "I sometimes have difficulty getting her to the other side, if you will. When it happens, I try to articulate to her that how important her pleasure is to me. And when I do that, I seem to kind of fall on my face..."

Dr. Laura's Advice:

Dr. Laura encourages Aaron to focus on expressing genuine excitement about his wife's orgasms without placing pressure on her to achieve them every time. She suggests using positive reinforcement and playful interaction to enhance their sexual connection.

Dr. Laura: "It's so exciting for me when you release into an orgasm. It's beautiful. Your face looks beautiful. So compliments like that do not put pressure."

She advises Aaron to embrace a relaxed approach, allowing sex to be fun and less about performance. Suggestions include playful interactions like joining his wife in the shower or being spontaneous in their intimacy.

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General Strategies for Maintaining Sexual Intimacy

[08:06 – 17:44]

After Aaron's call, Dr. Laura expands on the importance of communication and maintaining intimacy in long-term relationships. She emphasizes:

• Spending Quality Time: Engaging in meaningful conversations beyond daily routines.
• Physical Affection: Increasing eye contact, touching, and hugging to foster closeness.
• Varying the Routine: Introducing new elements to their sexual relationship to keep it exciting and prevent stagnation.

Dr. Laura compares enhancing a sexual relationship to enjoying a fine meal, where savoring each moment and sharing experiences strengthens the bond between partners.

Dr. Laura: "Do more touching and hugging. Savor one another on occasions the way you do when you go to an expensive restaurant."

She also shares insights from other callers, such as Nina, who struggle with making their long-term sexual relationships more fulfilling, setting the stage for the next caller's discussion.

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Caller Tammy: Overcoming Sexual Inhibition in Marriage

[12:16 – 15:57]

Caller: Tammy
Issue: Lack of sexual drive and difficulty expressing desires, leading to a stagnant sex life despite a loving marriage.

Tammy explains that she and her husband have a strong, committed relationship but struggle with maintaining sexual excitement. She feels uncomfortable discussing or initiating new sexual activities, fearing that her efforts might seem insincere or forced.

Tammy: "I feel like I might be 15 and afraid of what my parents would think."

Dr. Laura's Advice:

Dr. Laura encourages Tammy to explore her desires through indirect communication methods if direct conversations feel too daunting. She suggests using technology as a tool to introduce new ideas, such as:

• Research Together: Look up sexual positions, play toys, or watch sensual movies to spark interest.
• Leave Hints: Place articles or images that represent new ideas in places her husband will see them, facilitating a natural conversation.
• Be Playful: Incorporate teasing and playful interactions to reignite the sexual spark without pressure.

Dr. Laura: "Just have some fun with it. Be playful, you know, drag her into the shower."

She emphasizes the importance of making sex enjoyable and less about meeting specific goals, encouraging Tammy to experiment and find what works best for their relationship.

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Caller Nina: Navigating Cultural and Personal Inhibitions

[17:44 – 30:25]

Caller: Nina
Background: Originally from India, Nina discusses her arranged marriage and long-term commitment with her husband. Despite a loving relationship and two children, she feels overly inhibited and uncomfortable being uninhibited sexually.

Nina: "I find it hard to be uninhibited, so to speak. I kind of get the sense that my husband would like me to be."

Dr. Laura's Advice:

Dr. Laura addresses Nina's deep-seated insecurities and cultural background influencing her comfort with sexual expression. She offers a multi-faceted approach:

1. Self-Acceptance: Embrace her body as it is and understand that her husband loves her regardless of perceived imperfections.

   Dr. Laura: "As long as you're naked and up against him, you have a perfect body."

2. Gradual Exposure: Encourage Nina to become more comfortable with her body through increased physical intimacy and reducing self-consciousness.

3. Creative Communication: Suggest non-verbal ways to express desires, such as using lingerie or leaving seductive notes to initiate intimacy.

4. Playful Interaction: Introduce fun and spontaneity into their sexual relationship to reduce anxiety and build confidence.

   Dr. Laura: "Make him chase you around the room. Tease him. Bring him into the shower. Give him a soap up and a soap down."

Nina responds positively, appreciating the practical steps and feeling empowered to try them, indicating a readiness to enhance her sexual relationship.

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Conclusion and Final Tips on Sexual Healing

[30:25 – 34:35]

Dr. Laura wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of communication and continuous effort in maintaining a healthy sexual relationship. She encourages listeners to:

• Watch Sexy Movies: Use films like Body Heat to get into the mood.
• Engage in Playful Activities: Schedule massage nights or explore fantasies together.
• Introduce Toys: Incorporate sex toys to add variety and excitement.
• Seek Professional Help: If challenges persist, consider consulting a certified sex therapist to address deeper issues.

Dr. Laura: "Don't let your problems in the bedroom damage the rest of your marriage."

She emphasizes that understanding and addressing sexual issues proactively can prevent relationship breakdowns and lead to a more fulfilling partnership.

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Notable Quotes

• Dr. Laura on Early Intervention:
  "[01:31] Don't wait until you have a long-term actual sexual problem in your relationship before you seek help with it."

• Dr. Laura on Expressing Excitement:
  "[06:58] It's so exciting for me when you release into an orgasm."

• Dr. Laura on Self-Acceptance:
  "[25:18] And that's something that women don't seem to be easily to Easily get into their brains. He wants you naked and up against him. As imperfect as you are, he loves your body naked and up against him."

• Dr. Laura on Playfulness:
  "[28:14] So go buy something scandalous. Have a drink of wine. Put on this sexy thing and say, call him into the bedroom because you have a surprise for him."

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Key Takeaways

1. Address Sexual Issues Early: Prevent long-term problems by seeking help before issues become entrenched.
2. Effective Communication: Open, honest, and playful communication is crucial for a healthy sexual relationship.
3. Self-Acceptance: Embrace your body and reduce self-consciousness to enhance sexual confidence.
4. Introduce Variety: Keep the sexual relationship exciting by trying new activities and maintaining spontaneity.
5. Seek Professional Help if Needed: Certified sex therapists can provide valuable guidance for overcoming deeper sexual challenges.

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This episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day offers comprehensive insights into sexual healing, emphasizing the importance of communication, self-acceptance, and proactive efforts to maintain a fulfilling sexual relationship. Whether you're facing minor issues or more significant challenges, Dr. Laura provides practical advice and encouragement to foster a healthy and satisfying intimate life.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

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[Dr. Laura]

Talk to you about sex therapy and the first thing I want to say is don't wait until you have a long term actual sexual problem in your relationship before you seek help with it. Because stuff, stuff, when it goes on year after year after year after year gets entrenched and oftentimes very hard to reverse. After habits are formed, walls are up. So try to catch things early. When I was in private practice, I did a lot of sex counseling and I want you to understand that you don't go to sex therapy to have sex in the office. People may think, oh my God, are we going to have to get naked and do stuff? No. And if you go to someone and they say you're going to have to get naked and do stuff, get out of there and report them. Okay, so what's sex therapy for? Well, my goodness, a lot of folks have medical treatments, surgical procedures, physical disabilities, history of sexual abuse and such. There are all kinds of events and experiences which get in the way of people feeling comfortable and relaxed and open about sexual A sex therapist can help guide you when there's a physical or mental issue interfering with a satisfying sex life. They'll give you information, help you reduce your embarrassment or discomfort with a situation, especially after there Are injuries or surgeries. They can help you get back to having fun, fun, fun, fun with one another again. And usually sex therapy is intertwined with marital counseling because sometimes that is the source of the sex problems. Then the sex problems cause more marital problems, and it goes round and around and around. I think we all pretty much know that it takes only minutes for a man's engine to rev up for sex, but much longer for women. That's normal. In sex therapy, A counselor may guide you in ways to jumpstart your sexy thinking and feelings, maybe by accessing your sexual fantasies, focusing on sensuality more than the orgasm, as I explained to Aaron when he called me because he was desperately wanting to know the secret to pleasing his wife sexually. Aaron, welcome to the program.

[Aaron]

Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call. I had the chance to speak with you some time ago and I found your advice life changing. So here I am again. My wife and I have been married for. Yes, thank you, ma' am. My wife and I have been married for about three years, together for four. Have a. I'd say a fairly fulfilling marriage. Lately I've encountered some roadblocks, I suppose, as it relates to her sexual gratification, if you will. Pretty regular and have a fairly healthy sex life. But I sometimes have difficulty getting her to the other side, if you will. When it happens, I try to articulate to her that how important her pleasure is to me. And when I do that, I seem to kind of fall on my face and it ends up sounding more like an issue with my performance than my own insecurities. So I'm here today to find out how I can better communicate to her that I am genuinely interested in her fulfillment without sounding self absorbed or immodest, if you will.

[Dr. Laura]

It's so exciting for me when you release into an orgasm.

[Aaron]

Okay, just. Okay, that's it.

[Dr. Laura]

It's so exciting because it is. A real man finds it very exciting that his woman can get there. But, you know, I mean, there are certain techniques, I'm sure in all the years you've been together, you know, are more likely get her there than not. But it's easier for men to have orgasms than it is for women. Part of that is evolutionary biological because you need to have an orgasm in order to make babies. We don't have to have orgasms to make babies. An egg gets popped out all by itself. We don't have to have an orgasm to pop an egg up into the fallopian tube. So your sexual satisfaction is tied into reproduction. Ours isn't. And women often have a lot more trouble with moods, hormones, attitude during the day, something else on her mind. You could have a lot of things on your mind, but if you're getting stimulated the right way, you're going to have an orgasm, generally speaking. So it's a very different phenomenon. So you can't take it upon yourself whether she gets there or not. And sometimes women don't get there, but feel kind of satisfied anyway because the amount of arousal was so great that it felt good. So it's different for every circumstance. You don't want to have it. Be that she has to have an orgasm or you're devastated.

[Aaron]

Right.

[Dr. Laura]

So things like, oh, honey, after she has. It's so sexy and exciting to watch you relax into an orgasm, you know, it's very exciting. It's beautiful. Your face looks beautiful. So compliments like that do not put pressure.

[Aaron]

You know, I've never looked at it that way. Okay, Dr. Lahr, I'm going to give that a go. I appreciate it.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, excellent. Has she multiply orgasm me?

[Aaron]

Thank you for your time.

[Dr. Laura]

Because generally, if.

[Aaron]

Yes, ma' am.

[Dr. Laura]

Good. So you sort of get her there and then maybe join her in the next one or then go back to her or, you know, have some fun with it. Be playful, you know, drag her into the shower.

[Aaron]

Whatever she wants.

[Dr. Laura]

Not drag.

[Aaron]

Whatever she wants to do.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, women don't always like to specify that they like their men to sort of take them.

[Aaron]

I see, I see.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Aaron]

Okay. All right. Very good. Thank you, ma' am.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah, you're very welcome. My number. 1-800-375-2872. Yeah, I bet a lot of you didn't think about it. A woman's orgasm has nothing to do with reproduction. She could never have an orgasm in her life and make 10 kids. Somehow I look at that as depressing, but all right. All right. Your dearly beloved is coming home within a half an hour and you're anticipating. You know, talk about the traffic. The kids did this? Nah. Take 15 of that 30 minute half hour and start remembering how sexy they are. Yeah. Come back after that break.

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[Dr. Laura]

We'd probably avoid a lot of divorces if more people would deal with their sexual issues sooner. So when a guy is too quick on the drug or a woman doesn't seem to be able to reach orgasm at all, these are some of the kinds of things you can talk about in sex therapy. Human beings actually have to learn how to make love to learn what works for us and what doesn't. Making love is different from just having sex. It takes time to get to know your own body and each other's. Communication is the key. But that's usually the part people don't do. They're embarrassed, they feel uncomfortable. They think certain things are taboo. But giving feedback to your partner about what you find pleasurable is a wonderful gift because then he or she knows they're not failing. So what's a woman to do when she doesn't feel comfortable talking about her desires, but does want to spice things up? That's what Tammy wanted to know when we spoke. Tammy, welcome to the program.

[Tammy]

Hi doctor, thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you.

[Tammy]

So I'm hoping you can help me. It's a little bit uncomfortable for me to talk about this, so could you imagine with my husband?

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Tammy]

So we've been married for a little plus 2022 years and we still love each other. We still get excited about being together. He's extremely. Treats me like a princess and everything every woman hopes for, right? But our sex life has kind of not been on track, as I would love to at this point in our. In our life. And I hear a lot of times that. Oh, that.

[Dr. Laura]

And what does your husband have to say about his level of interest?

[Tammy]

I'm sorry.

[Dr. Laura]

He.

[Tammy]

He's just as concerned as I am because he knows that, you know, he's.

[Dr. Laura]

As concerned as you are. About what? I mean, I'm not sure I understand. Who's not interested in sex? Who.

[Tammy]

Who is it involved with each other?

[Dr. Laura]

Who is not. Who is the one not interested?

[Tammy]

I don't think that. It's not that we're interested. We just don't have the drive.

[Dr. Laura]

We don't have the time.

[Tammy]

Time? No, the drive. You know how you can get excited about having intercourse? I guess.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, which one of you doesn't have the drive?

[Tammy]

I, for the most part, have always had that problem. It's always been an uncomfortable thought process for me.

[Dr. Laura]

Why is that?

[Tammy]

I think it has to do with things that probably happened when I was younger.

[Dr. Laura]

But what does that have to do with over two decades of great, loving sex with him?

[Tammy]

No, no, no. I'm just saying, as far as being open and honest and, you know, trying new things, I'm not.

[Dr. Laura]

So what new things would you like to try?

[Tammy]

I wouldn't know because I'm not. We don't openly discuss that, I guess.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you have access to an Internet?

[Tammy]

Yes, we do.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, look up sexual positions, sex, play toys. Look up things on the Net. They'll even give you videos, and you can look around and think, ooh, I think I'd be interested in that. And then if you're too embarrassed to say that, just leave it on the screen coquettishly. Or go wherever he is and say, I left something on the screen. I think I'd like to try that, but I'm too embarrassed to talk to you, so can you just go look at it?

[Tammy]

Okay. I could try that, I guess.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah. Why not? It's okay if you can't talk about it directly as long as you have a way to communicate it.

[Tammy]

Okay, that sounds like a plan.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes, some things, you know, just. Even if. Whatever it is, if you feel like you want to try it, you could always try it and not like it. You could try it and like it a lot. Who knows?

[Tammy]

Okay, I like that. I like that. I like it even if I Try it. Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Right.

[Tammy]

All right. Well, thank you, doctor. I really appreciate you.

[Dr. Laura]

You're welcome. Yeah, call me in a little bit and tell me, you know, how things are going.

[Tammy]

Okay. Thank you very much.

[Dr. Laura]

All right. You're very welcome. Now, in the beginning of a terrific relationship, most people are in the mood most of the time. But years later, with age, careers, child rearing, other stresses, health, and maybe the plumbing just doesn't work the way it used to. It all takes a toll on your sex love life. That's why it's important to spend time together talking about something more than what bills need to be paid or what's happening tomorrow. Make more eye contact when you talk. Do more touching and hugging. Savor one another on occasions the way you do when you go to an expensive restaurant. You spend time drooling over the menu. You discuss the possibilities. You savor every bite. You share from each other's plates. You talk about the meal afterwards, the presentation, the flavors, the sauces, the ingredients. You enjoy it and you talk about it. Do the same with sex. I love it when you touch me exactly like that. More, more, more. Don't stop. Three inches to the left. Whatever you do, don't just stick with your same old formula. Playful interaction is important. Improvise. Have some fun. When Nina called me, her bedroom routine had become, well, routine. Trouble was, she just felt too uncomfortable to dress sexy or talk dirty. How could a nice girl like Nina turn up the heat in her decades long marriage? Here's what we discussed. Nina, welcome to the program.

[Nina]

Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

My pleasure.

[Nina]

Thank you. I've been listening to you for about six months now, so I can't say I've listened to you for my whole life like some of your other callers and I.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, welcome aboard.

[Nina]

Thank you. Everything I hear, you know, just seems to make such perfect sense that sometimes I wonder how people. It was not obvious to people before they called, but you put a good light on what needs to be addressed. Thank you. I am calling because I. Well, I'm not from the United States originally. I was born in India and so was my husband. I came here after we got married. I got married rather young by your. By your recommendations. Sorry about that.

[Dr. Laura]

And was this a.

[Nina]

Arranged marriage? No, actually, enough. It was not. We met at his sister's wedding and, you know, one thing led to another and we were engaged for a whole year before we actually got married. Actually, it was a year that we knew each other before we got engaged and another year before we got Married. So we did take some time there. But I met him when I was 20 and we were married by the time I was 22.

[Dr. Laura]

Was he your first serious boyfriend?

[Nina]

He was my only boyfriend. Not because, you know, it's funny, everybody has this idea that in India you really are. You know, it's. Everything is frowned upon. It's not exactly true, but, you know, to a certain extent, yes. But not exactly true. It wasn't for lack of opportunity or that sort. It was just the way it turned out. I was too focused on my education to truly, you know, think about anything. And then I met him and then there was no need to think about anything. So he was the best thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life. And I cannot, you know, ever. I just never lose sight of that. We have two kids and they are wonderful and knock on wood. I have no issues with my life per se. Except for, you know, I find that I am a little, not a little quite a bit uptight in when it's just him. And I noticed, not on a. You know, especially on a physical level. I find it hard to, I don't know, be uninhibited, so to speak. And I kind of get the sense that my husband would like me to be. I truly.

[Dr. Laura]

All husbands want their wives to be uninhibited.

[Nina]

I don't know how. And it just seems, you know, if I try, it seems fake and it seems wrong. You know, kind of like.

[Dr. Laura]

Tell me about the wrong. So you think certain sexual things, even between husband and wife might be wrong?

[Nina]

Well, I don't consciously think that, but you know, that just. It just kind of feels like, oh my God. You know, I still feel like I might be 15 and afraid of what my parents would think. I don't know if that makes any sense. We're going to be married 20 years now.

[Dr. Laura]

Have you. Did you ever have a time where you were a little looser with him?

[Nina]

I don't think so, no. It's kind of always been that way. And I thought, you know, and I think over time it is a little bit better. But I mean, I'm not really sure.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, tell me.

[Nina]

I don't know how.

[Dr. Laura]

Tell me, ma' am. Ma' Am, tell me your fantasy, your imagined scenario of what it would be like with him if you were more uninhibited. Describe it to me. What it would be like.

[Nina]

How he would react.

[Dr. Laura]

No, honey, just describe the entire scene. Make believe I am making a movie and you are writing the movie and I'm Ready to film it. What would I see? If this man and this woman were together and she was less inhibited, what would I see?

[Nina]

Well, I would say, I know you don't like people to say, I don't know, but I think you would see somebody who was not self conscious of, you know, everything about how she.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, I'm not going to know her mind. I'm only going to see action. So what action would I see? What would she be doing that's different?

[Nina]

Well, I think she would be. What she doing if she was different. She would be very comfortable with her body. So she wouldn't be, you know, self conscious about how she appeared. She would, you know, move freely without, you know, worrying about that, or wouldn't. Would be able to speak, you know, in a more, I don't know, more manner. I really, I know that is. I know there is kind of like a little hurdle here, and I'm not. And I think part of the thing is maybe even he is a little, you know, both of us. I mean, I for certain had absolutely no sexual experiences before whatsoever before I married him. And I am. I mean, I know he has told me he hasn't, and I'm 100% certain he hasn't either. And we are very, very faithful, very committed to each other. We are really close. So I, you know, it seems to be like a back and forth thing, though he sometimes does express, you know, he'll say something like, oh, you know, we should, you know, like, he might ask me to, like, for example, talk dirty. And I really don't know how. I don't know what to say, and I don't know where to learn what to say. Because the way I talk to you, that's kind of how I talk.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. All right, we got to start with part one. And part one is you're aware that your body is not perfect.

[Nina]

Mm. It's not anything to be too worried about either.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, you've emphasized it a number of times, and that is probably the number one complaint all women have. Their bodies are not perfect. So part two of knowing your body is not perfect is imagining that he doesn't know your body's not perfect. So the more you can sort of hide it a little, then he'll never know your body's not perfect. What's interesting about that is that he's known from the day he met you that your body is not perfect. But he loves it anyway.

[Nina]

That's true.

[Dr. Laura]

And that's something that women don't seem to be easily to Easily get into their brains. He wants you naked and up against him. As imperfect as you are, he loves your body naked and up against him. And quite frankly, when you first said, I tried certain things, but it didn't feel true, it felt fake. Well, everything knew in the beginning. First time you try to play basketball and get that ball all the way up there, it's ridiculous. I mean, you feel like an idiot and it's not working well. But as you practice it more and more, it just gets comfortable. The more you were naked in front of him, the less self conscious you would be. That's the only way to get less self conscious, is to just live. It is to see. I remember we had one lady on the show who was short and very fat, but fat with the sort of fat that it falls over your underpants, fat your belly. And I told her the same thing. Well, she wrote a letter, which I read on the air. I had to edit, had some dirty talk, but she went out and bought one of those sexy lingerie things and she got it all. She got the biggest size she could find, but it was still too small. So she's really sort of falling out of it in a way that if anybody else like you or me looked at it, we'd probably go, oh God, that's ridiculous. However, she was at the top of the stairs, called her husband. He comes around the bend, biggest grin on his face she had ever seen. And they had the best evening of lovemaking they had had in a long time. And she learned something. Yeah, I may look a little silly with it hanging over my chubbiness hanging over, but he loves me naked and up against him. And to him I am perfect because he loves me. So that's something that each woman listening and not listening has to get into her head. Unless you're married to a complete abject jerk. That's true. He just wants you naked and up against him. Now, in terms of talking dirty, it may not be your thing to say the bad words that refer to sex or the sexy words, but there are things you can say that only use nice words. You can say, I want to feel you on top of me. Okay, now that sounds. There are no bad words in that. No, but for him it would be you talking dirty.

[Nina]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

I would love to feel you inside of me. Oh. Probably have a heart attack. I hope he has insurance.

[Nina]

Hmm. Okay, so, kind of.

[Dr. Laura]

So go buy something scandalous.

[Nina]

Uh huh.

[Dr. Laura]

Have a drink of wine.

[Nina]

Uh huh.

[Dr. Laura]

Chug it down. Not too much, you know, just a wine glass. Amount Not a goblet. That'll loosen you up a little bit. Put on this sexy thing and say, call. Call up. You know, tell them, come up into the bedroom because you have a surprise for him. When you see his reaction, I think it'll take away some of your feeling. Stupid.

[Nina]

That's a good word. I do feel kind of like, you know, stupid. Am I? Yeah. Am I? What am I doing? You know, it just seems.

[Dr. Laura]

I'll tell you what you're doing. You're having some fun, okay? You're having some fun with your husband. Yes. Sex should be more fun and less and less furtive.

[Nina]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

So go out and buy something a little scandalous.

[Nina]

Oh, I have a closet full. You know, that's the thing. And sometimes I just.

[Dr. Laura]

Who bought it?

[Nina]

Well, some of it I bought, some of it he bought. And, you know, it's okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Take one of the ones he bought. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. But just remember what Mother Laura said. As long as you're naked and up against him, you have a perfect body.

[Nina]

Okay, I can do that.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah. Call me back.

[Nina]

I will. I will.

[Dr. Laura]

Please.

[Nina]

It was that easy. I'm like, you know, do I need to, like, read a book that. See, that's my solution to stuff.

[Dr. Laura]

I know.

[Nina]

I need to, you know.

[Dr. Laura]

Your solution is to make it heady. I want you to make it horny. Not heady. Hormonal. Not heady. Okay? Just play. Have some fun. Have some fun with him. Tease him. Tease him.

[Nina]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

Make him chase you around the room. Tease him. Bring him into the shower. Give him a soap up and a soap down. And when he tries to do the same to you, say, uh, not yet, and you'll drive him nuts. That'll be fun.

[Nina]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

Have some fun with this.

[Nina]

Just don't think about it too much.

[Dr. Laura]

Right? Just have fun.

[Nina]

Okay, I can do that. I can try.

[Dr. Laura]

No, you can do that. You don't. We don't try here. This is a Yoda moment. No, try. We do. Okay. I'm happy you've been listening. I want you to take notice, frankly, now that you're thinking more about sex and sensuality, you realize that you don't allow yourself to spend time thinking about sex and sensuality, right? Take a break. I'll be right back.

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Laura's Deep Dive podcast Deep Dope it's.

[Dr. Laura]

Very important to communicate with each other about what's wonderful. If you need help getting out of your head and into the mood, consider watching a sexy movie. Something like Body Heat. That was one hell of a sexy movie that doesn't get you revved up. I throw in the towel, play in bed together, cuddle, describe a fantasy, schedule a massage night that usually turns into more. Think about adding some toys to help the engines get going. If you still need help after listening to this deep dive, perhaps you would benefit from sex therapy. Go on the net. You'll be able to find someone in your area. Choose a therapist with some kind of certification. Don't let your problems in the bedroom damage the rest of your marriage. Of course, I'm always here to help call me at 1-800-DURO or go to drlaura.com to make an appointment to talk with me on the air. Now go do the sensuous thing. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share Share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[Podcast Announcer]

Kick off summer with Memorial Day savings at Lowe's right now get five Scott's Naturescapes one and a half cubic foot mulch bags for just $10. Plus get up to 40% off select major appliances and save an extra $50 on every $500 you spend on select major appliances. Appliances 396 dollars or more Lowe's we help you save valid through 528 mold shopper excludes Alaska and Hawaii. Selection varies by location while supplies last. Seelows.com for more details.