Deep Dive: Why You’re Not Winning Your Weight Loss Battle

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – Episode: "Deep Dive: Why You’re Not Winning Your Weight Loss Battle"

Release Date: February 6, 2025

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Introduction

In the latest episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into the perennial struggle of weight loss, addressing why many individuals find themselves unable to achieve their weight loss goals. Through a combination of caller experiences, personal anecdotes, and expert insights, Dr. Laura underscores the critical role of self-discipline over fleeting motivation in the journey toward personal health and responsibility.

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Success Story: Maria’s Transformation

Caller: Maria
Timestamp: [01:00] – [02:20]

Maria shares her inspiring journey of overcoming emotional eating while raising five children. Initially reaching out three months prior about her struggles, Dr. Laura advised her to incorporate simple exercises like push-ups into her routine. Maria responded by losing 10 pounds initially and astonishingly 30 pounds over three months. Her newfound discipline enabled her to participate in her first 5K run alongside her supportive husband, significantly improving her health and marital relationship.

Notable Quote:
“You truly changed my life and I am so healthy. I'm so happy.” – Maria [01:15]

Dr. Laura praises Maria's achievement, emphasizing that "the simplest solutions are usually the best" ([02:20]) and encourages her to share her success on social media to inspire others.

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The Discipline vs. Motivation Debate

Dr. Laura's Insight
Timestamp: [03:00] – [05:50]

Transitioning from Maria’s success, the episode discusses a common pitfall: the reliance on motivation versus the application of self-discipline. Dr. Laura explains that motivation is inconsistent and unreliable, whereas discipline is a steadfast commitment to one's goals. She asserts, “Discipline is the answer, not motivation” ([05:08]). This perspective is further reinforced as Dr. Laura elaborates on the necessity of making intellectual, disciplined decisions to overcome immediate desires for long-term benefits.

Narrator's Commentary:
The narrator complements Dr. Laura’s stance by highlighting that “self-improvement is a process” ([03:00]) and that enduring success requires consistent effort beyond the initial few weeks when enthusiasm wanes.

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Caller Interaction: Chris’s Struggle with Overeating

Caller: Chris
Timestamp: [04:08] – [09:17]

Chris calls in expressing frustration over his inability to maintain weight loss after initial success due to motivational challenges. Dr. Laura bluntly addresses his reliance on motivation, stating, “motivation is not an issue I spend time with” ([05:50]). She emphasizes that discipline must replace the desire for motivation, guiding Chris to make deliberate, disciplined choices about his eating habits.

Notable Exchange:
Dr. Laura: “You're asking for the impossible. Ask around. Are you motivated? No. Then why do you do it?” ([05:25])
Chris: Acknowledges understanding – “You're right, I do.” ([07:07])

Dr. Laura advises Chris to savor his favorite foods in moderation and with mindfulness rather than denying himself entirely, promoting a sustainable approach to weight management.

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Caller Interaction: Lynn’s Yo-Yo Dieting Dilemma

Caller: Lynn
Timestamp: [15:28] – [29:56]

Lynn shares her long-term struggle with yo-yo dieting since her teenage years, leading to fluctuating weight and diminished health. Seeking Dr. Laura’s advice, she is confronted with the necessity of unwavering discipline. Dr. Laura challenges Lynn’s excuses, urging her to prioritize actions over comfort and to re-engage in activities she once enjoyed, like playing soccer, to rebuild her fitness and self-discipline.

Notable Quote:
“The decision you make to go back and have fun at soccer.” – Dr. Laura [29:33]

Dr. Laura underscores that Lynn possesses the inherent discipline but struggles with consistency, reinforcing that success is a personal responsibility devoid of magical solutions.

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Narrator’s Insights on Habit Formation and Accountability

Timestamp: [12:42] – [31:37]

The narrator provides a comprehensive analysis of why individuals fail to maintain new habits, attributing it to a lack of self-discipline and the tendency to seek immediate comfort over long-term goals. Emphasizing that “Discipline is a habit” ([13:22]), the narrator outlines strategies for cultivating self-discipline:

• Set Reasonable Goals and Timeframes: Establish achievable objectives to avoid burnout.
• Accountability: Engage others to maintain commitment.
• Avoid Excuses: Eliminate rationalizations that hinder progress.
• Reward Systems: Celebrate milestones to reinforce positive behavior.

The narrative reinforces Dr. Laura’s message that enduring change stems from disciplined action rather than transient motivation.

Notable Quote:
“Successful people have mastered the art of paying the price for their long-term goals.” ([13:22])

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Final Thoughts and Conclusion

Timestamp: [30:06] – [31:37]

In wrapping up, Dr. Laura reiterates the episode’s central theme: “Staying motivated has nothing to do with magic. It's about doing things in spite of not feeling like it. Yeah, that's discipline, not motivation.” ([30:06]) She encourages listeners to take actionable steps toward their weight loss goals by embracing self-discipline, setting concrete plans, and holding themselves accountable.

The episode closes with a call to action, inviting listeners to seek further guidance by calling 1-800-DR-LAURA or visiting DrLaura.com, reinforcing the importance of personal responsibility in achieving lasting change.

---

Conclusion

Dr. Laura Call of the Day’s episode on weight loss battles serves as a potent reminder that sustainable change is rooted in self-discipline rather than fleeting motivation. Through real-life stories and candid discussions, Dr. Laura Schlessinger empowers listeners to take charge of their health by fostering disciplined habits, setting realistic goals, and maintaining accountability. This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling to achieve their weight loss goals, offering clear, actionable advice grounded in decades of expertise.

Transcript

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[Caller]

Dr. Laura's deep dive deep dive Dr.

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[Narrator]

I love success stories like this one from Maria.

[Dr. Laura]

Maria, welcome to the program.

[Maria]

Hi Dr. Laura, thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you. What's up?

[Maria]

I am calling today. I'm very emotional. Excuse me? Because I called, gosh, I think three months ago about my emotional eating with having five little ones at home and you told me to do some push ups and then I called back and said I've lost 10 pounds and I'm actually down 30 pounds now and I'm running in my first 5k tomorrow, which if you knew me before that is insane.

[Dr. Laura]

Wow.

[Maria]

I just wanted to call and say thank you. You truly changed my life and I am so healthy. I'm so happy. I have races with my kids all the time and I, I just don't know what to say but thank you.

[Dr. Laura]

Oh, I'm so proud of you. Good for you.

[Maria]

Thank you. And my husband, he's running with me tomorrow and he's so supportive and just has absolutely changed our marriage and our life and our family. So it seems like the simplest solutions are just the best. But it's true.

[Dr. Laura]

Yeah. You know something? What you just said right on. The simplest solutions are usually the best. People get too complicated and collapse under the complication and chaos. Well, good luck. Let me know. Tap some pictures, send us some pictures. I'm going to put you on hold and Dan will tell you how to send a picture and if you would like, we'll put it up on our Facebook because we're real proud of you losing that amount of weight. 30 pounds running at a 5k. Happy. I like success stories. So let's get a picture of her running or sweating after she's run.

[Narrator]

You don't get to the level of pride in yourself that Maria felt when she called me by giving up weeks into starting a new health routine. But that's exactly what most people do. Regular exercise starts to get boring and difficult after about the third week. And since most of you live in the moment instead of focusing on the future, you give up as soon as the moment gets uncomfortable. What a lot of people fail to realize is that self improvement is a process. It's not easy to make a change, but you can and you will become a better person, a better version of yourself over time. Little by little, each day, the results pile up if you don't give up. Successful people have mastered the art of paying the price for their long term goals. Unsuccessful people avoid doing what it takes. There is a solution. It's called self discipline. Sadly, my caller Chris didn't have it when we spoke.

[Dr. Laura]

Chris, welcome to the program.

[Chris]

Well, hi, Dr. Laura, thank you for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you.

[Chris]

So my main call today is I have a motivation issue. When it comes to food, I tend to overcome overeat. I do really great for an extended period of time and then I lose motivation and I gain it all back and then some. I'm not hugely overweight, but I'm heavier than what I'd like to be. And it just, it affects feel like it affects all areas of my life. So one question I have for you.

[Dr. Laura]

I know of no, I know of no motivational employee that will help you.

[Chris]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

So let's see how I could help you.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

Because I know no motivation that works on people all the time. Motivation is not an issue I spend time with. Discipline is okay. I'm not motivated to do all the things I need to do that I'm responsible for. I'm not motivated all the time to do them. Sometimes I'm not even motivated to do the things I like to do. I'm tired, I'm bored, I'm this, I'm that. My tummy is whatever, my hair hurts, whatever it is. I'm not always motivated, but I'm disciplined. I do what I'm morally responsible to do. Now, my point of view is discipline is the answer, not motivation.

[Chris]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

I do what I need to do because I'm supposed to do it. Not always because I want to do it. You're waiting to want to do it. Not happening ever. You're asking for the impossible. Ask around. Ask your friends. Do you do? Are you motivated? And that's why you do all the things you have to do. Pay the rent, Are you Motivated? No. Then why do you do it? Because I'm supposed to. So I'm not supposed to eat this. I'm not supposed to eat that much. I had a joke with a friend who's losing weight and doing a good job with it and he says, so I'm at the point now I just eat half that's on my plate. I said, that's hysterical because I double what was on my plate and then eat half. And we laughed. So that doesn't work. You have to look at the food and say, I don't want to look like this anymore. It feels uncomfortable and I feel stupid that I'm not controlling myself like a grown up. So you know what? I'm not going to eat that. That's not motivation. That's an intellectual decision to be disciplined. And you have an intellect so you can use it.

[Chris]

You're right, I do.

[Dr. Laura]

Now, is there any benefit for being overweight? Think hard. Must be some benefits.

[Chris]

Only just to be able to enjoy everything I could possibly eat under the sun. That's it.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, you can enjoy everything. I had a cheeseburger last night. Now I'm not going to do that again forever, I think, because it just sat in my stomach all night. And I went, oh, God. Because I'm not used to meat. I eat pork and chicken and fish, but I don't usually eat beef. And my stomach just went, what the hell is that? What did she put down there? So that's not happening again. But I think it's important for you to eat everything. You love half of it. I like Milano cookies. I'll have one. I'm not going to give up Milano cookies because it's just sugar, but I like it so I have one. I'm not going to give up the things I want. You don't have to either. Just have discipline. Use your intellect and say, I wish to enjoy this. I'm going to eat this cookie so slowly I'm really going to taste it. Because somehow, you know, when we tend to eat a lot and eat fast, we. We're not really tasting it and enjoying it. So take that one Milano cookie and enjoy the hell out of it for five minutes. Don't skip the things you want.

[Chris]

Great advice. I appreciate that.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't want you to give up on the things you want.

[Chris]

Okay?

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. So give me a call at some point down the line and let's forget about this motivation stuff. I never help people with motivation because I don't believe in it. I don't believe in you. Have to get motivated first because we did that. Frankly, some part of the time I would not get things done because I'm not motivated. That way I'm off the hook.

[Narrator]

I have to take a break because I'm very disciplined about this. I could make excuses, but you're all here with me so I can't. I'll be right back.

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[Narrator]

Dive Podcast Deep no matter what it is you want to achieve, you need self discipline to succeed. That's just a fact. Can't get around it. Sorry. Well, how do you get discipline? Where do you find it? It's not in the bottom of your socks drawer. Discipline is a habit. When you want to see a change, you have to form new, better habits to replace the ones you sadly already have. Now transitioning to new habits? Not easy. People come up with all kinds of rationalizations, excuses to avoid the discomfort of change.

[Dr. Laura]

I have to work.

[Narrator]

I have to do this, do that, and do the other thing. There's always something you have to do. But the reality is most people are just not brought up to have a lot of stick to itiveness. Instead, from early childhood they're taught it's okay. Failing and winning are the same. We're not going to have a valedictorian because it hurts everyone else's feelings. You see, we don't have a culture that elevates people who work very hard and stick to it. We don't acknowledge them because it makes everyone else feels bad. How about using it as motivation?

[Dr. Laura]

Just a thought.

[Narrator]

And that starts very young. We give trophies for showing up. You don't have to actually do anything or practice hard, work hard, or stick to it. You just have to show up. Brains have to be trained to aspire. Let me say that again. Brains need to be trained to aspire, to persevere. When the going gets tough, they say the tough get going. And that is the truth. When Something gets tough, you have to figure out how to conquer it. And that includes new exercise routines and healthier eating habits. When you're in a new exercise program and it's getting tough, getting boring, and you're feeling like, I don't want to do this, I don't like it. I want you to remember that discipline means choosing between what you want now and what you want the most. You want to give up now, but if you want to be stronger, more fit, healthier and happier with the way you look and feel, you have to take a long view. Tell yourself, six months from now, I'm going to be the bomb. I might hate every day that I have to do this between now and then, but in six months I'm going to stand in front of a mirror and go, I'm so glad I did it. As I explained to Lynn when she called me, discipline is an action that we set in motion, but then we have to follow it without quitting.

[Caller]

Lynn, welcome to the program.

[Lynn]

Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much, Dr. Laura. I'm a yo yo dieter since I was a teenager and I eat well and exercise a month or two and then I quit for several months, maybe even a year. And I'm 45 and I feel and look like crap and I'm sick of it. And I want to have discipline and self control. And so my question is, I guess.

[Caller]

Is what you do you have discipline and self control? Because for the guess, I don't execute it. Yes, you do. You execute it for a certain amount of time. How can I execute? Ma'am, there's nothing you're missing. You just, you don't stop executing it. I'm always amazed when people ask me this question because the answer is so obvious. You don't stop no matter how much you want to.

[Lynn]

So there's no entertaining the thought of sitting on the couch. You just don't, you don't even entertain the thought.

[Caller]

You can entertain the thought, just don't let it move in.

[Lynn]

Okay?

[Caller]

There's no magic or mystery here.

[Lynn]

But why are some people so disciplined and others are so up and down, up and down with their dedication?

[Caller]

Why are some people smart and other people not? Why are some people happy and other people not? Because everybody's different.

[Lynn]

So I can be more disciplined if I want, if I.

[Caller]

No, you are disciplined. You just give it up. You know discipline, you understand discipline. You've experienced it, you're familiar with it, and you know how to do it. There's nothing. There's nothing you're missing but it seems like there's a moment. Yeah, well, that critical moment. You know what it is? Describe it. That critical moment. Describe it.

[Lynn]

Well, when I'm stressed out and I want fast food and I'm approaching a fast food place and I. And I know I shouldn't go there.

[Caller]

And I want, you know, you shouldn't go there. So don't.

[Lynn]

So don't. Okay.

[Caller]

So don't.

[Lynn]

Okay. Is that easy?

[Caller]

Yes, actually, it is. You stand there and go, I'm not going to eat this crap because I'm going to look like shit. I'm hungry. I'm stressed out. I mean, comfort food to me is chicken noodle soup.

[Lynn]

Yeah.

[Caller]

That's high in protein. Got some carbohydrates, Got a lot of veggies in it. So decide a different comfort food. Cheeseburger with French fries used to be comfort food. Now pick something else. Go ahead.

[Dr. Laura]

Right.

[Lynn]

Now, the first thing that came to mind was a Caesar salad. That's terrible. No.

[Caller]

Well, that's not good. Because of the dressing. Now when I order a salad, I always get the dressing on the side and I just dip.

[Lynn]

That's excellent.

[Caller]

Yeah, I sizzle.

[Narrator]

What I should do.

[Caller]

Yeah, I just brizzle a little because, you know, you think you're doing something healthy when you get a salad and they put four quarts of crap in it.

[Lynn]

Exactly. So probably a new comfort food would probably be like citrus. I do love oranges and grapes and melons and that kind of stuff.

[Caller]

Oh, you'll be regular.

[Dr. Laura]

I don't know.

[Caller]

I always thought of comfort food is something warm.

[Lynn]

It is like macaroni and cheese.

[Caller]

Dr. Laura, if we're going to be stupid together, that's what I would be stupid with you about.

[Dr. Laura]

Macaroni and cheese.

[Caller]

Never touch the stuff. Love it.

[Lynn]

So you never touch the stuff and you love it. So why do you not touch the stuff?

[Caller]

Have you seen any pictures of me?

[Lynn]

Yes. You're very thin and fit.

[Narrator]

I'm not.

[Caller]

I'm muscular. That's why I don't eat the Mac and cheese, because I won't look like that, I won't feel like that, and I won't live long and my bones will fall apart.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lynn]

Okay. All right, Dr. Laura, thank you so much. You're just a. You're. You're definitely an example of excellent health. And I'm going to listen to this callback.

[Narrator]

Okay. I have to take a break, and I have something silly for you to do during the break. Take a moment to think of eating one cookie slowly, lovingly, yummily one cookie and feeling satisfied loving the taste of it. Yum yum. And thinking I'm so proud of myself. I'm just gonna have that one cookie.

[Dr. Laura]

I'll be right back.

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[Narrator]

Dive podcast Deep when it comes to tackling gold, people are either making progress or making excuses. Which one are you? It's really up to you how you want to live life. If you tend to be the lazy type who quits, it won't matter what articles you read, what apps you follow, what gym membership you sign up for, what resolution you make. If you're not willing to put in the effort to sacrifice and the pain, there'll never be any gain, no change. And frankly, things are going to get worse as you get older. When Liza called me, she was sick of the way she looked and felt she had taken the path of least resistance, hadn't worked out well for her. What could she do to improve her situation? My answer was to start having fun again like she used to when she was in better shape.

[Dr. Laura]

Liza, welcome to the program.

[Liza]

Hi, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

Hi. What can I do for you?

[Liza]

Thank you so much. Yeah, so I'm calling today. Over the past two years, I have put on about £40.

[Dr. Laura]

And what did you weigh before you put on the £40?

[Liza]

180. I'm tall.

[Dr. Laura]

And how tall and how tall are you?

[Liza]

I'm 5 10.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay.

[Liza]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

What sports do you do, by the way? Just curious.

[Liza]

What sports? I actually played soccer.

[Narrator]

You like soccer?

[Liza]

I did. Everyone wanted me to play basketball, but I was awful.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry. So that's past tense. You played. You don't play soccer anymore?

[Liza]

I don't.

[Dr. Laura]

Why? It was fun.

[Liza]

That was a really good question. I don't know. I should.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay, that's. That is a lie, saying you don't know why you stopped. So let's try not to play that game with me. Why did you stop playing soccer?

[Liza]

I haven't played soccer in a really long time. I played in high school. I'm 34 now.

[Dr. Laura]

Playing soccer.

[Liza]

Why did I stop playing soccer? I didn't. I. Yeah, I. I was afraid that I was going to be overweight and bad at it.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm sorry. If you're playing soccer, it's a little hard to be overweight.

[Liza]

That is true.

[Dr. Laura]

So what you just said is backwards. You want to try again? Because I didn't understand it.

[Liza]

The frustration of having to start over.

[Dr. Laura]

Start what over?

[Liza]

Start getting back in shape again.

[Dr. Laura]

Who asked you to get in shape? I just said, why did you stop playing soccer? Are you going to ask?

[Liza]

I'm just not really sure why I stopped playing. I mean, I just didn't have the team at the school, and I didn't go out and look for an adult team to play on.

[Dr. Laura]

I thought you enjoyed it.

[Liza]

I do enjoy it.

[Dr. Laura]

And why did you give it up? Why did you not look For a team. This is so important, what I'm asking you.

[Liza]

I wasn't prioritizing my enjoyment and overworking myself.

[Dr. Laura]

So you decided to work more, exercise, play less. That's a decision. And how did that prioritizing come into play?

[Liza]

I think it's. It seemed easier. And then because it's like. How do I answer that? Honestly.

[Dr. Laura]

Honestly, you're lazy.

[Liza]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

Okay. You know, not everybody in the world does great things. Some people just take the pathway of least resistance. The world is filled with all different types and everybody can't be like everybody else. So then you come up with this nonsense of, well, I don't want to get into the shape to go play. Well, that's how you get into shape, by playing.

[Liza]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

If we wait for you to get into shape, you'll never play again.

[Liza]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

So I think you should go back to playing soccer.

[Liza]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

And for quite a while, you're not going to be in shape to do it. Well. And then you will be.

[Liza]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

So you have. You have to be willing to put up with the discomfort and the embarrassment of looking that heavy when you're starting to get back into soccer. I'm not asking you to get back into getting physically fit. I'm just asking you to get back into soccer.

[Liza]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura]

So it's up to you. You're going to be lazy. None of it's going to happen. If you're not going to be lazy, it will happen. It's 100% up to you. And there's no magical pill or motivational technique that'll make a difference. The decision you make to go back and have fun at soccer.

[Liza]

Thank you, doctor.

[Dr. Laura]

Because I doubt you're having a lot of fun in life right now. And I'd like you to have more fun.

[Liza]

Yeah, I'm really not.

[Narrator]

No.

[Dr. Laura]

You're spending all your time being fat. Instead of having fun. You're focused on fat. I'd like you to focus on fun.

[Narrator]

23 letter words, fat and fun.

[Dr. Laura]

Fat, fun, fat, fun. Pick fun. The fat will take care of itself.

[Narrator]

So set a goal, make it reasonable, then set a time frame, make it reasonable. Figure out a way to hold yourself accountable. I tell you, the number one best way to stay with exercise is to do it with someone else. That's a way to be accountable. When others are expecting you to show up, you'll be a lot more likely to show up. Another tip is don't allow yourself excuses, but do reward yourself when you stick with the commitment you've made. Ultimately, you'll train yourself to do the new, better things, and then you're going to get to the point where your body is going to need, feel and drive you to do the right things, whether it's regular exercise, healthy eating, or both. Your body will get so used to its new habits that when you deviate, yeah, it'll yank you back. You may think people who exercise and eat well are somehow magically motivated. And you're not wrong. Staying motivated has nothing to do with magic. It's about doing things in spite of not feeling like it. Yeah, that's discipline, not motivation. Do you need help? Alrighty. Call me at 1-800-DRAURA, or go to drlaura.com to make an appointment to speak with me on air. Now go. Do the right thing.

[Dr. Laura]

If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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