Emil's Ex Tore Up Her Parent Card

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Episode Title: Emil's Ex Tore Up Her Parent Card
Air Date: October 1, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Guest: Emil
Theme: Navigating parental responsibility, boundaries, and ethical choices after betrayal and family trauma.

Dr. Laura speaks with Emil, a divorced father grappling with both the aftermath of his ex-wife abandoning their family and a devastating case of abuse involving his granddaughter. Emil seeks advice on whether his ex-wife should be notified about their child if a serious medical event arises, despite her destructive past choices. Dr. Laura provides her signature direct, no-nonsense guidance focused on personal responsibility and protection of the children.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Emil’s Family History and Ex-Wife’s Abandonment

• [02:19–03:13] Emil details his divorce after 20 years of marriage. His ex-wife left their children (aged 18, 16, and 10) for a man she met online, moving out of state to Illinois.

  • Dr. Laura's reaction: Promptly identifies this as abandonment.
  • Quote:

    “So she abandoned her kids?” – Dr. Laura [03:08]

  • Emil confirms, admitting his ex-wife effectively deserted the family.

• [03:31–04:10] Emil, intending to maintain the children's relationship with their mother, later moved the family to Illinois. The ex-wife remarried the new partner and got somewhat involved in their children's lives. Emil never remarried.

2. Abuse Revelation and Family Fallout

• [04:26–05:07] One year prior, Emil’s granddaughter accused her step-grandfather (ex-wife’s husband) of molestation. The accusation was found credible by authorities.

  • Dr. Laura presses: Did the ex-wife leave her husband upon learning the allegation?
  • Emil’s response: She did not leave; instead, she stayed with the accused abuser.

• [05:07–05:20]

  • Emil’s three children subsequently “disowned her. Cut her off.”
  • Dr. Laura’s reaction: Immediate and visceral, shocked at Emil’s search for any rationale or fantasy that his ex-wife could redeem herself.

3. Dr. Laura’s Ethical Standpoint

• [05:27–05:45, 09:13–11:33] Dr. Laura repeatedly confronts Emil about the inappropriateness of considering his ex-wife’s feelings or “right to know” about the children—given her irreversible choices:
  • Quote:

    “She doesn't give a shit about her kids. Stop with the fairy tale.” – Dr. Laura [05:30]
    “What question could you possibly have about her? She stayed with a man who did her grandkid.” – Dr. Laura [09:13]

  • She underscores the moral reality: The ex-wife, by standing by an abuser rather than her own granddaughter, tore up her “parent card.”
  • Quote:

    “She’s an evil piece of shit. Twice she hurt her kids. At least twice she tore up her parent card.” – Dr. Laura [11:14]

4. The Central Dilemma: Should Emil Inform His Ex-Wife?

• [09:08–09:57] Emil raises concern about whether he should inform his ex-wife if their son faces a life-threatening surgery.

  • He admits, “I just feel like maybe she should know...” [09:57]

• Dr. Laura’s Counter:

  • She continually challenges Emil’s impulse, attributing it to unresolved emotional ties and a “fantasy” of reconnection.
  • Quote:

    “The only reason she should know anything about any one of her kids is if they decide to tell her, not you. Because you have a semi unconscious drive to still make the connection.” – Dr. Laura [11:20]

• Her Advice: Emil should not contact the ex-wife about his son’s surgery (or anything else family-related). It’s now solely up to the children if they want to initiate contact.

5. Final Guidance and Takeaway

• [11:33–12:14] Dr. Laura provides clear, conclusive advice, emphasizing the severance of ties for the sake of the children’s well-being.
  • Quote:

    “Please give it up. That there is even a thread between her, you and the kids. There's no thread.” – Dr. Laura [11:36]

  • The conversation ends with Emil agreeing to follow her advice.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura on parental responsibility:

  “She left the state to be with some dude—that’s abandoning your kids.” [03:13]

• Dr. Laura, direct and unsparing:

  “She doesn’t give a shit about her kids. Stop with the fairy tale.” [05:30]

• Moral clarity:

  “She’s an evil piece of shit... she tore up her parent card. The only reason she should know anything about any one of her kids is if they decide to tell her, not you.” [11:14]

• Crisis management:

  “I think you should keep your mouth shut. If the kids want to tell her something, they will. It’s not your place anymore.” [11:57]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:19 – Emil’s family situation and history of abandonment
• 03:31 – Relocation to Illinois for the children
• 04:26 – Abuse revelation and official response
• 05:07 – Ex-wife’s choice to stand by her husband despite the abuse claim
• 09:08 – Emil raises the question about informing ex-wife of son’s surgery
• 09:57 – 12:14 – Dr. Laura’s emphatic advice against Emil’s involvement

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Episode Takeaways

• Dr. Laura advises absolute boundaries in cases of parental betrayal—specifically, refusing to enable or include the betraying parent, especially after their active choice to side with an abuser.
• The well-being and autonomy of the children are paramount; only they should decide if contact occurs.
• Listeners are reminded to resist the urge to maintain facades of connection where deep moral violations have occurred—even for the sake of “being the better person.”

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This episode exemplifies Dr. Laura’s unwavering dedication to honesty and child-centered advocacy. Her advice cuts through rationalizations, reinforcing tough love and clear personal responsibility in the face of trauma and betrayal.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Yes, hi Dr. Laura. Thank you for giving me some of your time today.

[A]

You're very welcome.

[B]

I'm going to give you a little bit of background that'll give you a better idea of my question. I'm 51. I was married for 20 years, got divorced when I was 41. That's when my wife left the marriage. We have three children. Our daughter currently is 35.

[A]

Stop for a second please. How old were they when she left?

[B]

My daughter was 18. My boys were 16 and 10 and they stayed with me after.

[A]

Where did she go?

[B]

He found and met A gentleman online. And at the time we were living in Texas and he was living in Illinois and she moved up to Illinois to be with him.

[A]

So she abandoned her kids?

[B]

Yes, you can say that, yes.

[A]

What do you mean? I couldn't. She left the state to be with some dude that's abandoning your kids?

[B]

That is correct? Yes ma'. Am.

[A]

And did she make any contact after that with the kids?

[B]

She did. And then we eventually, just because I wanted them, the kids to have a relationship with their mother still, I chose to move up to Illinois so they could be in relatively closer distance.

[A]

And did she make an effort to be involved with them?

[B]

Yes, she did. And her. She got married eventually to the guy she left me for and you know, he was involved in their lives as well. Okay, I know I never got re married.

[A]

And bring me up to today.

[B]

I have two grandchildren from my daughter who's been married for 15 years. My granddaughter is 14 currently and my grandson is 12.

[A]

Is this part of the background I need?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, go ahead.

[B]

About a year ago, our grand. My granddaughter confessed to the school counselor that my ex wife's new husband has. Has been molesting her. They went through the whole thing, you know, the detectives, all that stuff, they all interviewed her and they all seem to believe her because her story never changed. It always stayed the same from what she told the counselor to.

[A]

And did your ex wife and did your ex wife leave him?

[B]

No, that's part of my question. My kid, she stuck by her husband and in doing so my three kids, our three kids pretty much disowned her. Cut her off.

[A]

Okay, stop talking for. Woohoo. Stop talking for a minute. Are you going to try to make another fairy tale?

[B]

No. Well good.

[A]

Yes you are. Yes you are. You're going to make another fairy tale of. Well, should we tell her? She doesn't give a shit about her kids. Stop with the fairy tale.

[B]

My question is that my younger.

[A]

But you shouldn't have that as a. Why do you even have that as a question? She stayed with a man who did her grandkid. What question could you possibly have about her? Life doesn't have to be so complicated. Walmart helps you simplify. They're your one stop shop for daily essentials like groceries, snacks, school supplies. And thanks to Walmart Pharmacy, you can count on them for your prescription needs too. Use the Walmart app to easily manage your family's medications and save time by getting prescriptions delivered right to your door. Switch your prescriptions to Walmart Pharmacy delivery not available for all prescriptions and exclusions apply. Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor, All Free Clear Laundry Detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free Clear. Mint Mobile's favorite word is no. Just like a toddler contracts no monthly bills, no hidden fees, overages, B.S. no no no. The benefit of saying yes to all of Mint Mobile's NOS is premium wireless for just 15 bucks a month and you can bring your phone and your number with you. All Mint Mobile plans come with high speed data, unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the [e-mail] DrLora that's mintmobile.com DrLaura upfront payment of $45 required. That's equivalent to $15 a month limited time new customer offer for the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. What can 160 years of experience teach you about the future? When it comes to protecting what matters, Pacific Life provides life insurance, retirement income and employee benefits for people and businesses building a more confident tomorrow. Strategies rooted in strength and backed by experience. Ask a financial professional how Pacific Life can can help you today. Pacific Life Insurance Co. Omaha, Nebraska and in New York, Pacific Life & Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona nothing brings us together like Eglin's best eggs, always so fresh and delicious. Plus superior nutrition like 6 times more vitamin D, 10 times more vitamin E, and 25% less saturated fat compared to ordinary eggs. For us, it's eggs any style as long as they're the best. Egglin's best. Better taste, better nutrition, better eggs. Visit eglundsbest.com to learn more.

[B]

Not that my son's surgery will be life threatening, but if something, what question.

[A]

Would you have about her after she stayed with a man who did her grandkid?

[B]

I have no question for her.

[A]

Then why do you want to give her any information about the kids or the grandkids?

[B]

Why not the grandkids? Just her kid and I just why?

[A]

Oh man, are you just not listening to me asking the question? Let me do it again and calm myself down because When I hear about women like this and somebody trying to kiss it up, it gets me crazy. She stayed with a man who did her kid. Why do we have any contact? Why do we have any thought about what she ought to know? Why are you still in fantasy world about trying to make things work?

[B]

I don't want things to work, but if something were to go south during the surgery, I just feel like maybe she should know that one of her kids may.

[A]

Why? Why? She knew one of her kids was diddled by her stud. That didn't matter. Why should she know why? But I'm asking you why in your mind does she get the privilege of knowing anything about them?

[B]

I would. Maybe. I. I know you don't like to say I don't know, but I mean, I just.

[A]

Then don't say it. Then be quiet and think and tell me something intelligent. Because I'm very concerned on this program that people think things through, not just emotion, things through and not just have the fantasy that, well, I'm going to be a good person or I'm going to try to make this connection or something good could come out of it. She's an evil piece of shit. Twice she hurt her kids. At least twice she tore up her parent card. And the only reason she should know anything about any one of her kids is if they decide to tell her, not you. Because you have a semi unconscious drive to still make the connection. If something were to go south, so what? Whether she knew it or not, so what?

[B]

I understand.

[A]

Please give it up. That there is even a thread between her, you and the kids. There's no thread.

[B]

I'm not worried about myself getting. I just. Like I said, I just wanted to know if I thought I should tell.

[A]

Her, but are you just going to repeat as though I hadn't said anything to you? Okay, well, I think you should keep your mouth shut. If the kids want to tell her something, they will. It's not your place anymore. How's that?

[B]

That's what I'll do.

[A]

Good. Anything but think about what you're really trying to make happen, which is that thread. Maybe if you think about it for half an hour, you'll get it. That's you still trying to make a connection between the kids and her. You haven't given it up. Give it up. My number. 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you. Shoes aren't really built to last anymore. Seriously. Some footwear barely survives a season, but L.L. bean doesn't chase trends. They've been crafting quality boots for over a century. With full grain leather, durable rubber bottoms and triple needle stitching. Bean boots are meant to last and built to easily handle the great outdoors. Each pair becomes more personal, more distinctive and uniquely yours. L.L. bean boots are simply best worn. Find your [e-mail].