Follow the Example of Mother Birds

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day Episode: Follow the Example of Mother Birds
Release Date: July 12, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

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Introduction

In the episode titled "Follow the Example of Mother Birds," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a caller seeking guidance on managing her relationship with her 19-year-old daughter. The conversation delves into effective parenting strategies, the importance of setting boundaries, and the metaphor of mother birds in fostering independence in young adults.

Caller’s Concerns

The caller, a stay-at-home mom married to her son’s father, expresses frustration over her daughter's behavioral changes since puberty. She highlights her daughter's difficulty in communicating respectfully and acknowledges her attempts to instill values like kindness and accountability.

Caller’s Background:

• Children: 19-year-old daughter and 22-year-old son
• Previous Challenges: Daughter was "a little tough" but improved until puberty
• Current Issues: Daughter exhibits mean-spirited behavior, poor communication skills, and lacks understanding of the impact of her words.

Key Quote:

"She's a little bit of a mean girl, I feel like, and she doesn't understand that her words have a ripple effect and the tone of voice you use affects people."
[02:00]

Defining the Role of a Mother

Dr. Laura initiates the discussion by asking the caller to outline her perspective on a mother’s role in raising a child, seeking to understand her foundational beliefs.

Caller’s Perspective on Mother’s Role:

1. Beginning: Love, support, feeding, keeping clean
2. Middle: Support, love, educate, playfulness, teaching kindness and happiness
3. End: Being a listener

Dr. Laura’s Input: Dr. Laura acknowledges two of the caller’s points and emphasizes the importance of the third stage.

Key Quote:

"You had two out of three beautiful. The third is you kick them out of the nest."
[03:00]

The Mother Bird Metaphor

Dr. Laura introduces the metaphor of mother birds to illustrate the natural progression of raising children to independence.

Explanation of the Metaphor:

• Stages of Mother Bird Behavior:
  1. Laying and Incubating the Egg
  2. Feeding and Nurturing the Hatchlings
  3. Encouraging Independence by Kicking the Young Birds out of the Nest

Dr. Laura’s Advice: She advises the caller to emulate mother birds by nurturing her daughter but ultimately encouraging her to take responsibility for her own life.

Key Quote:

"What do you think a mother bird does? She lays the egg, she keeps it warm. It hatches, she goes and flies and gets worms. She semi digests them and shoves them into her baby's gullets and then at some point kicks them the hell out of the nest because it's their turn."
[05:00]

Addressing the Daughter’s Situation

The caller shares that her daughter has not yet graduated from high school and is planning to complete her studies through night school by December.

Dr. Laura’s Recommendations:

1. Express Unconditional Love: Reaffirm her love for her daughter.
2. Set Clear Expectations: Inform her daughter about the necessity to complete her education and plan for her future.
3. Establish Boundaries: Communicate that continued disrespect will result in her having to leave the household.

Key Quote:

"You tell her now that you love her to pieces. Finish 12th grade. But between now and then, plan where you're going to live and what you're going to do."
[07:00]

Emphasizing Independence and Accountability

Dr. Laura stresses the importance of allowing the daughter to face real-world consequences, thereby fostering personal growth and responsibility.

Key Points:

• Encourage the daughter to adapt to societal norms or face personal dissatisfaction.
• Highlight that parental efforts should guide rather than control the child’s life.
• Reinforce that children tend to take better care of their own lives compared to when others try to manage them excessively.

Key Quote:

"Stop trying to make it be what you think it ought to be because we have to deal with reality. So have her anticipate... she has half a year to figure out where she's going to go and tell her."
[08:00]

Conclusion

Dr. Laura concludes by reiterating the mother bird metaphor, emphasizing that effective parenting involves nurturing and then stepping back to allow children to navigate their own paths. She encourages parents to set firm boundaries and let their children learn from their experiences, ultimately leading to their success or failure.

Final Advice:

• Be nurturing but also firm in expectations.
• Encourage independence to prepare children for real-life challenges.
• Recognize when it’s time to let go and allow children to take responsibility.

Key Quote:

"Be a mother bird. Be a mother bird. These days. Mother birds are more successful than human mothers."
[08:20]

Additional Resources

Dr. Laura invites listeners to engage with her through social media platforms, where she shares stories, photos, and videos that complement her advice.

• Facebook: facebook.com/drlaura
• Instagram: instagram.com/drlauraprogram

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Note: This summary excludes advertisement segments and focuses solely on the substantive content of the episode to provide a comprehensive overview for those who have not listened to the podcast.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111 Julia welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hello Dr. Laura. So happy to chat with you.

[Dr. Laura]

Thank you.

[Caller]

How can I yeah, I have a 19 year old daughter. I am married to her father and also have a 22 year old son. I was a stay at home mom from day one and my daughter was a little tough as a youngster but sort of grew out of it. I would say ages 4 through 13 were brilliant and I feel like once she hit puberty there was a marked change in her behavior, her temperament and her ability to cope and deal with people. We've definitely had some struggles. I feel like I have tried everything to communicate the value of your words and your tone of voice and it just doesn't seem to register. She's a little bit of a mean girl, I feel like, and she's, she doesn't understand that her words have a ripple effect and the tone of voice you use affects people and. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

May I ask you what you think the role of a mother is in raising a child? Tell me the beginning, middle and end of a mother's role in your opinion?

[Caller]

In my opinion, the in the good question in the beginning is to love, support, feed, keep clean. In the middle is to support, love, educate, be there, be that playful, happy, teach and start to teach them about kindness and happiness and choosing happiness and choices. And then in the end I think it's to be that, that listener if.

[Dr. Laura]

No, stop, stop, stop. You had two out of three beautiful. The third is you kick them out of the nest.

[Caller]

Right.

[Dr. Laura]

And you stand back and they're going to do whatever they're going to do. And it's not necessarily a reflection on your parenting, but the third thing is to get them out of the nest, out of the house.

[Caller]

Right.

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[Dr. Laura]

What do you think a mother bird does? She lays the egg, she keeps it warm. It hatches, she goes and flies and gets worms. She semi digests them and shoves them into her baby's gullets and then at some point kicks them the hell out of the nest because it's their turn. She gives them the pink slip on their lives. You haven't done that well. You're still trying to do one and two. Well get her out of the house. That is the solution to your problem. She is now developed a style of relating. She'll have to deal with that in the real world and either adapt or lose a lot of stuff and be unhappy. But that's her journey. Too many of you parents do a great job in 1 and 2 and think there's a 3, 4 and 5. No.

[Caller]

They have their journey right. I do. I wholeheartedly agree with you. Is it's not that I feel like 19 is too old because I was out on my own from a fairly young age. But she has not graduated from grade 12 yet, which is an issue. And she is.

[Dr. Laura]

When is she graduating from 12th grade?

[Caller]

She failed graduation because she was short on.

[Dr. Laura]

Please just give me a month. When is she graduating 12th grade?

[Caller]

She's going to be taking night school to finish in December.

[Dr. Laura]

That's it. You tell her now that you love her to pieces. Finish 12th grade. But between now and then, plan where you're going to live and what you're going to do.

[Caller]

Okay, yes, that has, that has crossed my mind now.

[Dr. Laura]

Well, it's. You need to be a mother bird. These days. Mother birds are more successful than human mothers.

[Caller]

Right?

[Dr. Laura]

Because they don't come up with saw, you know, but she'll be upset and oh well, she might not be doing oh well. Oh, well, have her anticipate. Stop trying to change her into somebody she's not. She'll have to learn in life and she'll make changes or she won't. She will succeed or she will fail like anybody else's kids.

[Caller]

Right?

[Dr. Laura]

Stop trying to make it be what you think it ought to be because we have to deal with reality. So have her anticipate. We're almost in July, August, September, October, November. She has half a year to figure out where she's going to go and tell her. And if this behavior at home continues, you're 19, you're an adult, you can start planning where to live now. You can finish high school from someplace else. But if you're going to stay in my house, you're not going to treat us this way. If you continue to treat us this way, you're out. Go find a friend to live with. Do whatever.

[Caller]

Right?

[Dr. Laura]

Be a mother bird. Be a mother bird. My 19, my 19. My number it's 19 after is 1-800-375-2872. So now we've talking about being a real man in your family and not being a limp dick, but being an alpha male. Stop the conversations. Take care of business. And if you're a mother, there's 1, 2 and 3 and 3 is out. And if you find a million excuses, then you're not being as good a parent as a bird. Because at some point it has to be their life. And people tend to take more care of their own car than a car they borrow. They tend to take care of their own car better than the car somebody gave them. They're usually better at taking care of their own life than when somebody tries to shove their life down their throats by helping. My number 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.

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