Podcast Summary: Forget Dating and Get a Dog!

The Dr. Laura Podcast
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: November 2, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger counsels a caller, Andrea, who is struggling with loneliness and trust issues after separating from her mentally ill and abusive husband of nearly two decades. Dr. Laura uses Andrea’s story to highlight the importance of self-awareness, parental responsibilities after divorce, and the need to prioritize children’s wellbeing over the urge to seek new romantic relationships. Anchoring the advice is Dr. Laura’s signature direct style, particularly her recurring message: “Don’t date—get a dog!”

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Backstory – Andrea’s Marriage and Divorce

• Andrea’s situation: Married for 18 years; husband became abusive and convinced she was unfaithful. She suspects possible mental illness (schizoaffective disorder) and/or substance abuse.
• Attempts at intervention by Andrea and her husband's family failed (“we didn’t have any luck” - 02:53).
• Andrea reflects on her choices when dating her husband and admits there were troubling signs even early on.

2. Dr. Laura Probes the Relationship’s Early Red Flags

• Dr. Laura presses Andrea to consider warning signs during dating, emphasizing the need for honest retrospection.
• On Andrea’s tendency to excuse or overlook problematic behavior:

  “Please do not say you didn’t realize. You don’t have to put a name on a disorder to notice that there are behaviors you don’t like.” (03:19)

• Discussion about Andrea’s willingness to settle for unsafe, unstable circumstances while chasing adventure with her husband, even at the cost of her own stability.

3. Reflections on the Destructive Choices of Youth

• Dr. Laura highlights how youthful naivete and the desire for independence can lead to poor partner choices:

  “You were a 25-year-old, naive, silly girl and this was all a blast...then you’re trapped.” (10:00)

• She points out how Andrea’s need to escape her parents likely contributed to her relationship decisions.

4. Parenting, Loneliness, and the Duty to Children

• Andrea expresses feelings of loneliness and wonders about dating again.
• Dr. Laura is unequivocal:

  “If you have minor kids, I don’t care if you’re lonely. That’s what friends are for. And get a dog. Your loneliness is irrelevant. You have a moral obligation to raise the kids without any love life interfering or getting invested.” (10:54)

• Suggests dating would both distract Andrea and potentially escalate conflict with her unstable ex-husband.

5. Issues of Trust: Self vs. Others

• Dr. Laura reframes Andrea’s “trust” issues as being about trusting her own judgment, not about trusting men in general:

  “When you say you can’t trust, it’s yourself you’re talking about, not men, because you picked that man. Most men are quite trustworthy and aren’t mentally ill. You picked that man at a time in your life when it was easy for you to make a stupid choice.” (11:19)

• The path forward is to mature from the impulsive decisions of her youth and to focus on her kids until they’re grown.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On ignoring relationship red flags:

  “You don’t have to put a name on a disorder to notice that there are behaviors you don’t like, so don’t go there.” (03:19)
  Dr. Laura Schlessinger

• On pursuing relationships as a young adult:

  “You were a 25-year-old, naive, silly girl and this was all a blast...and then you’re trapped.” (10:00)
  Dr. Laura Schlessinger

• The core advice on post-divorce dating:

  “If you have minor kids, I don’t care if you’re lonely. That’s what friends are for. And get a dog.” (10:54)
  Dr. Laura Schlessinger

• Reframing ‘trust’ issues:

  “It’s not men that are the problem just because you picked one that has mental disorders.” (11:44)
  Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Key Timestamps

• [01:43] Caller Andrea introduces her marital situation.
• [02:19]–[05:00] Andrea describes husband’s decline and their tumultuous, nomadic life.
• [08:08] Dr. Laura challenges Andrea’s rationalization of her life choices.
• [09:31] Andrea shares current legal and emotional struggles post-separation.
• [10:00] Dr. Laura summarizes Andrea’s youthful missteps and their consequences.
• [10:54] Dr. Laura delivers headline advice: focus on children, not dating; get a dog.
• [11:19] Discussion about learning to trust oneself rather than blaming men.
• [12:57] Andrea affirms that the advice makes sense.

Tone & Style

Dr. Laura is characteristically direct, no-nonsense, and at times blunt—pushing Andrea toward accountability and long-term thinking. Throughout, she balances tough love (“You were 25 and ridiculous”) with practical, parent-first guidance (“Your loneliness is irrelevant. You have a moral obligation to raise the kids”).

Summary for Non-Listeners

This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing post-divorce uncertainty, especially parents grappling with loneliness and trust issues. Dr. Laura argues—with both compassion and firmness—that healing and healthy choice-making begin with self-accountability and putting children’s needs first. Taking her advice literally, the episode’s title (“Forget Dating and Get a Dog!”) captures the essential message: channel love and attention where it’s safe and constructive, and save romance for later.